75: The Encounter 2: Paradise Lost
This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of "The Encounter 2: Paradise Lost", the story of a bunch of people sitting in a room with Jesus not doing anything. And it's just as action packed as that sounds. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawfulOur theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil...
1hr 45m Jan 24, 2017
1hr 45m
74: The Right to Believe (Live in Chicago)
This week, Tom and Cecil of the Cognitive Dissonance podcast join us live for an atheist review of "The Right to Believe", an exploration of the age old question of whether gay people should be allowed to walk in groups. To hear more from Tom and Cecil, check out the Cognitive Dissonance podcast here: http://dissonancepod.com/ If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out ...
1hr 49m Jan 17, 2017
1hr 49m
73: The Encounter
This week, guest masochist Marissa McCool joins Eli and Noah to discuss the story of Jesus's under-performing dinner theater magic show in an atheist review of The Encounter. To check out Marissa's podcast, The Inciting Incident Podcast, click here: http://incitingincident.libsyn.com/ To get a copy of Marissa's book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/PC-Lie-American-Voters-Decided/dp/1540416003
1hr 46m Jan 10, 2017
1hr 46m
72: Christmas on Salvation Street
On this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Christmas on Salvation Street; the heartwarming story of nothing happening for an hour and forty-five minutes. But it's a Christmas movie, otherwise why would there be all this tinsel? To get tickets to our live show in Chicago on January 13th (guest starring Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonance), go here: https:/...
1hr 50m Jan 03, 2017
1hr 50m
71: Apocalypse 4: Judgement
This week, Andrew Torrez of the Opening Arguments Podcast joins us to break down the court room drama that caps off our four movie-trilogy. Listen as we desperately try to decipher the post-rapture legal system, as well as the English translation of whatever the hell Mr. T is saying.To get tickets to our live show in Chicago on January 13th (guest starring Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonanc...
2hr 7m Dec 27, 2016
2hr 7m
70: Apocalypse 3: Tribulation
This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Apocalypse 3: Tribulation; the story of Gary Busey not being in the shape required to jog on camera anymore, but doing it anyway. To get tickets to our live show in Chicago on January 13th (guest starring Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonance), go here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-with-cognitive-dissonanc...
1hr 51m Dec 20, 2016
1hr 51m
69: Apocalypse 2: Revelation
On this week's show, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Apocalyse 2: Revelation; a heart-warming buddy cop movie where a hardened detective looking for clues that can lead him to his family, and his wacky, wheelchair-bound sidekick team up to take on the antichrist. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawfulOur t...
1hr 50m Dec 13, 2016
1hr 50m
68: Apocalypse: Caught in the Eye of the Storm
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of "Apocalypse: Caught in the Eye of the Storm"; a story of the biblical apocalypse as told through whatever spare CNN stock the producers could get their hands on. Join us as we marvel at the insensitive appropriation of real people's suffering for the sake of a crappy movie featuring Frankenstein's Game Show Host. You can find ti...
1hr 41m Dec 06, 2016
1hr 41m
67: Blood Freak
In this week's show, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of Blood Freak, the single greatest use of the cinematic medium in both history and future. It's the classic story of boy meets girl, eats poisonous science-turkey, gets turned into a blood drinking mutant, and then turns to Jesus. If you'd like to pick up tickets to see us live in Chicago on Friday, January 13th, you can ...
1hr 26m Nov 29, 2016
1hr 26m
66: King's Faith
On this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of King's Faith; the story of a human who does things, many of which are unrelated to one another. That's the closest we could collectively come to a plot synopsis. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawfulOur theme music is written and performed by Ryan Sl...
1hr 43m Nov 22, 2016
1hr 43m
65: Holyman Undercover
This week, Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Holyman Undercover, the story of a bunch of Christian extremists trying to write about other Christian extremists so as to make them seem wacky. Watch as Baptist evolution deniers throw down against Anabaptist zipper deniers in a film that features David AR White taking on dual roles, and failing miserably at both. If you’d like ...
1hr 45m Nov 15, 2016
1hr 45m
64: The Atheist Delusion
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of The Atheist Delusion, a hybrid of man on the street interviews with high teenagers who can't explain cosmology to Ray Comfort, and left over stock footage of animals.If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawfulOur theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of ...
1hr 28m Nov 08, 2016
1hr 28m
63: I'm Not Ashamed
This week, Eli and Noah team up with writer, comedian, improv artist, and guest masochist Keisha Zollar for an atheist review of "I'm Not Ashamed"; a film about how it's okay to exploit the deaths of thirteen people in a tragic school shooting, as long as you're doing it for Jesus. If you'd like to hear/see more of Keisha, you can find her website here: http://www.keishazollar.com/ If you'd l...
2hr 4m Nov 01, 2016
2hr 4m
62: Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed
In this week's episode, Noah, Heath, and Eli join you live from QED in Manchester, England for an atheist review of "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed." In this obituary to Ben Stein's career, the monotone gopher of humanity posits a direct link between Darwinian evolution and Nazi death camps, and doesn't even have the decency to beat around the bush about it. If you’d like to make a per epis...
57m Oct 25, 2016
57m
61: Wicked Vultures
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of "Wicked Vultures", the third film in the "Vultures of Horror" series. Listen along as Kwame continues not to be the chief, his wife continues to use magical laser-vultures to nominally increase her bodega sales, and the producers fail once more to buy a god damn pop filter. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please che...
1hr 11m Oct 18, 2016
1hr 11m
60: Confessions of a Prodigal Son
In this week's episode, Noah, Heath, and Eli team up once more for an atheist review of Confessions of a Prodigal Son; the heart bypassing story of some middle-class white kid that mistook being hungover for having real problems. Also, three minutes and nine seconds of Kevin Sorbo. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawfulOur them...
1hr 45m Oct 11, 2016
1hr 45m
59: Vaxxed
On this week's episode, Noah, Heath, and Eli team up with the Scibabe, Yvette D'Entremont, for a skeptical review of Vaxxed: Cover Up to Catastrophe. In this baby-manslaughtering propaganda piece, we learn that some people shouldn't be trusted with medical licenses, others shouldn't be trusted with children, and still others with video cameras and editing equipment. If you’d like to make a per...
1hr 59m Oct 04, 2016
1hr 59m
58: Time Changers
On this week's episode, Noah, Heath and Eli team up for an atheist review of Time Changers; a cinematic exploration of the dumbest possible use of a time machine.
1hr 52m Sep 27, 2016
1hr 52m
57: The Unexpected Bar Mitzvah
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join up with a mysterious friend for an atheist review of The Unexpected Bar Mitzvah, a movie about a young Christian boy in South Dakota and his relentless efforts to cure his Jewish neighbors of their Judaism. Seriously. That's what it's about. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed...
1hr 58m Sep 20, 2016
1hr 58m
56: God's Club
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of God's Club, the story of Stephen Baldwin trying desperately to open his eyes up all the way. Set amid the backdrop of a churchless town in Vermont, a faithful science teacher tries to overcome the death of his wife, his lack of acting talent, and a couple of atheist mean girls with murder on their mind. If you’d like to make a pe...
1hr 47m Sep 13, 2016
1hr 47m
55: The Masked Saint
In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of The Masked Saint, the story of Nacho Libre, except for realsies. This convoluted and uncomfortable hybrid combines elements of wrestling movies, superhero flicks, and Christian cinema to form a confused mess of stupidity. That we watched. On purpose. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out o...
1hr 53m Sep 06, 2016
1hr 53m
54: God's Not Dead
It's been a year, so we figured Eli had finally earned an episode off.  So we invited Tom and Cecil to join us for an atheist review of God Not Dead; the review that, in a round about way, got this show started. Incidentally, if you'd like to hear Eli's thoughts on God's Not Dead, check out Episode 59 of The Scathing Atheist. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on...
1hr 54m Aug 30, 2016
1hr 54m
53: Passion of the Christ LIVE from NYC
This week Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Passion of the Christ, also known as the first inhalation after Mel Gibson's last gasp of sanity. In the first ever live record of God Awful Movies, a sold out crowd at the People's Improv Theater in Midtown Manhattan join us in a night of mockery, revelry, and blatant anti-Semitism. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, p...
1hr 44m Aug 23, 2016
1hr 44m
52: What the Bleep do we Know?
In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for a skeptical review of What the Bleep do we Know?, the 2004 classic of quantum woo. From "scientific" studies that show you can meditate away high murder rates to "scientific" "proof" that water gets sad when you say mean things to it, this film crams so much bullshit into one place there's no way to describe it but impacted. If you’d lik...
1hr 31m Aug 16, 2016
1hr 31m
51: Vultures of Horror 2
On this week's episode, we pull a late audible and Heath, Noah, and Eli join forces for an atheist review of Vultures of Horror 2. In the second edition of everyone's favorite supernatural Nigerian Christian soap opera, nothing happens. But he still talk about it for an hour. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed b...
1hr 26m Aug 09, 2016
1hr 26m
50: Day When the Sun Rises in the West
In this week's episode, Heath, Noah, and Eli team up for an atheist review of Day When Sun Rises in West: Film that Shock the World. In this tale of inevitable destruction, four Muslim friends wonder if the end times will disturb their exciting life of chicken eating, rubble visiting, and cartoon sound effects. Combining poorly translated air conditioner instructions style subtitles, visual eff...
1hr 30m Aug 02, 2016
1hr 30m
49: Will A Man Rob God?
This week, Ishmael Brown joins us to talk about Would A Man Rob God? ... It's a slightly musical stage play about prosperity churches, performed for a very unimpressed live studio audience, and made into a movie that all takes place in the same room.  And no Brie Larson. --- If you'd like to hear more from Ishmael, you can check out his podcast, or his Facebook page. If you’d like to make a pe...
1hr 56m Jul 26, 2016
1hr 56m
48: Accidental Activist
This week, Callie Wright and Ari Stillman of the Gaytheist Manifesto Podcast join Eli, Noah, and Heath for an atheist review of Accidental Activist, a film about a bigot who struggles with the harsh consequences of his bigotry while trying his best to maintain in despite society moving forward without him. It's a movie where we're almost certain that they meant for the bigot to be the good guy,...
1hr 41m Jul 19, 2016
1hr 41m
47: Leap 2: Rise of the Beast
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of Leap 2: Rise of the Beast, a low-budget (no... lower than that) action packed drama about a group of sassy teens that stand up to the Catholic antichrist with a combination of parkour skills, kung fu, and old fashioned pluck. Somehow managing to pack even less parkour into this sequel, filmmaker Chris Tempel seems to have used...
1hr 45m Jul 12, 2016
1hr 45m
46: Leap
This week Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of Leap, a no-budget film about four friends who decide to use their remedial gymnastic skills to save souls for Jesus, despite ominous warnings from one of those teams of atheists that kill Christian parkour ministers. With substantially substandard cinematography, acting, music, editing, ADR, stunts, writing, and plot; Leap make...
1hr 49m Jul 05, 2016
1hr 49m
45: God's Army
This week, Heath has the sense not to join Eli and Noah as they embark on an atheist review of God's Army, the story of an alien lifeform that's disguised itself as a mole and hitched a ride on the face of a Mormon missionary. Or at least that was the story I was telling myself by the end just to keep from dying of boredom. Racism, sexism, and the most lazily jingled keys in the history of Chri...
1hr 50m Jun 28, 2016
1hr 50m
44: The Book of Mormon Volume One: The Journey
On this week's episode, Dan and Mark from Thank God I'm Atheist join us for an atheist review of The Book of Mormon Volume One: The Journey; the story of a crazy guy following the voices in his head across a desert while his children repeatedly try to kill each other. It's a journey of wonder, discovery, anachronisms, overweight camels from the wrong continent, and love. You can hear more of Da...
1hr 52m Jun 21, 2016
1hr 52m
43: Cipher in the Snow and Johnny Lingo
This week, Eli and Noah are joined by Bryce Blankenagel for an atheist review of Cipher in the Show and Johnny Lingo, two "educational" shorts produced by BYU in a desperate (and misguided) effort to make Mormonism seem normal. --- If you'd like to hear more from Bryce, you can check him out on The Naked Mormonism Podcast or on My Book of Mormon. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, p...
1hr 35m Jun 14, 2016
1hr 35m
42: Saturday's Warrior
This week, David Michael of the My Book of Mormon podcast joins us to kick off Mormon Movie Month with an atheist review of Saturday's Warrior, which is essentially the musical version of the Mormon Duggars. If you'd like to hear more of David's milk-chocolatey voice, you can find his podcast here. If you want to see the outtake Eli refers onto the show, you can find it here. If you’d like to ...
1hr 50m Jun 07, 2016
1hr 50m
41: Rock: It's Your Decision
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces once more; this time for an atheist review of Rock: It's Your Decision; a Bizarro-world version of Footloose where our hero uses his ability to not dance to inspire an entire town of youngsters to also not enjoy themselves. If you want to see our live show in NYC on August 12th, click here to get tickets. Our theme music is written and performed by R...
1hr 31m May 31, 2016
1hr 31m
40: More Than Chance
In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up once more for an atheist review of More Than Chance; the story of a young girl crippled by child abuse and really bad screenwriting, who eventually learns to overcome her disabilities and follow her dreams through a combination of Jesus and not dreaming very big. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on M...
1hr 37m May 24, 2016
1hr 37m
39: Second Glance
In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of Second Glance, a bizarre hybridization of an after school special, a re-imagining of It's a Wonderful Life, and unabashed anti-atheist bigotry. Plus we get to see little David AR White before his balls dropped and learn that apparently he never stood a chance. --- Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotn...
1hr 22m May 17, 2016
1hr 22m
38: The Freedom of Silence
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of The Freedom of Silence; a film that asks what happens when a computer expert and a Christianity expert team up to take down the evil, secular government through an act of terrorism. And they're the good guys. --- Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, che...
1hr 40m May 10, 2016
1hr 40m
37: Vultures of Horror
This week, we watched a Nigerian Christian demon bird cultclassic.  Yup. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick ofEvil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check outtheirFacebook Page.
1hr 26m May 03, 2016
1hr 26m
36: The Black Rider: Revelation Road
This week, Thomas Smith joins Eli, Noah, and Heath for anatheist review of The Black Rider: Revelation Road,the third film in a trilogy that has, until this point, known whichside of the colon the subtitle goes on.  Join us as wedesperately try to figure out what accent Kevin Sorbo is shootingfor, why David AR White is wearing knee pads, and what the hell thepoint of this whole trilogy was. Fo...
1hr 51m Apr 26, 2016
1hr 51m
35: Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire
This week, we're joined once again by special guest masochist Thomas Smith of Atheistically Speaking and Thomas and the Bible for an atheist review of Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire.  Part 1 went something like this: "In a pre-post-apocalyptic world, one humble karate ninja sets out to sell bulletproof vests door to door because he's an idiot.  But when he accidentally karate ninj...
1hr 54m Apr 19, 2016
1hr 54m
34: Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End
This week, we're joined by special guest masochist Thomas Smith of Atheistically Speaking and Thomas and the Bible for an atheist review of Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End.  In a pre-post-apocalyptic world, one humble karate ninja sets out to sell bulletproof vests door to door because he's an idiot.  But when he accidentally karate ninjas the wrong biker gang, nothing happens, but th...
1hr 50m Apr 12, 2016
1hr 50m
33: God's Not Dead 2
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of God's Not Dead 2, a story in which god continues to not be dead, apparently.  This film continues the Pure Flix tradition of cramming way too many characters into a story with way too little plot, all to a soundtrack that can only be described as castration-like.---Special musical thanks this week to Morgan Clarke, whose you c...
2hr 2m Apr 05, 2016
2hr 2m
32: Mercy Rule
On this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of Kirk Cameron's Mercy Rule; the tale of a scrappy, old-fashioned junkyard owner fighting back against socialized waste removal.  And while it's certainly the least "god" of any movie we've reviewed so far, it's far from the least "awful." Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes o...
1hr 37m Mar 29, 2016
1hr 37m
31: Miracles From Heaven
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath take a field trip to see Miracles From Heaven in the theater on opening weekend.  Red carpet!!!  Eli wore Versace, Noah wore Nike, and Heath wore a smile.  Nobody else was happy.  Join them in this fair and balanced review of a story about how Jesus gives deadly diseases to young children, and why doctors are to blame. Our theme music is written and performed by...
1hr 31m Mar 22, 2016
1hr 31m
30: A Matter of Faith
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces once again to take on the most blissfully ignorant film they've encountered so far.  Join them for an atheist review of A Matter of Faith; a film about a father whose daughter's ignorance is challenged by a college education.  After her biology professor has the audacity to teach true things, instead of dad's favorite fairytales, dad has no choice but...
1hr 49m Mar 15, 2016
1hr 49m
29: If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?
On this week's episode, Eli unearths the single craziest piece of batshittery in the history of film.  If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? is a gratutiously titled red-scare propaganda piece that mixes Christian persecution fetish, cold war paranoia, and baffling inconsistent accents to create the most bizarre cinematic experience we've yet endured.--- Our theme music is written and perf...
1hr 23m Mar 08, 2016
1hr 23m
28: Risen
This week we meet a movie that's out of our league, but only by a little.  Join Eli, Noah, and Heath as they head out for a field trip and learn how the Jesus story would have played out had it been a buddy cop flick in our atheist review of Risen.---You should really check out the preview for next week's movie.  It's more insane than you can possibly imagine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7...
1hr 19m Mar 01, 2016
1hr 19m
27: I'm in Love with a Church Girl
This week, former senior writer for the Onion and current writer for Comedy Central's @Midnight Jocelyn Richard joins us to break down a story about a man and a woman, and that's pretty much it.  This conflictless love story pits master thesbian Ja Rule across from the girl from Cuttin' Da Mustard and generates precisely the kind of onscreen chemistry that casting would suggest.  Join us for a ...
1hr 51m Feb 23, 2016
1hr 51m
26: Unconditional
In this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah join forces once more to take on a film that snuck just enough god stuff in to make the "faith" category on Netflix.  It's the story of a woman on the hunt for the man who killed her husband, even though the only description she has to work with is "african american male."  So listen in as we desperately try to fill an entire episode with a movie whe...
1hr 29m Feb 15, 2016
1hr 29m