57: The Unexpected Bar Mitzvah
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join up with a mysterious friend for an atheist review of The Unexpected Bar Mitzvah, a movie about a young Christian boy in South Dakota and his relentless efforts to cure his Jewish neighbors of their Judaism. Seriously. That's what it's about. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed...
1hr 57m Sep 20, 2016
1hr 57m
56: God's Club
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of God's Club, the story of Stephen Baldwin trying desperately to open his eyes up all the way. Set amid the backdrop of a churchless town in Vermont, a faithful science teacher tries to overcome the death of his wife, his lack of acting talent, and a couple of atheist mean girls with murder on their mind. If you’d like to make a pe...
1hr 46m Sep 13, 2016
1hr 46m
55: The Masked Saint
In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of The Masked Saint, the story of Nacho Libre, except for realsies. This convoluted and uncomfortable hybrid combines elements of wrestling movies, superhero flicks, and Christian cinema to form a confused mess of stupidity. That we watched. On purpose. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out o...
1hr 52m Sep 06, 2016
1hr 52m
54: God's Not Dead
It's been a year, so we figured Eli had finally earned an episode off.  So we invited Tom and Cecil to join us for an atheist review of God Not Dead; the review that, in a round about way, got this show started. Incidentally, if you'd like to hear Eli's thoughts on God's Not Dead, check out Episode 59 of The Scathing Atheist. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on...
1hr 54m Aug 30, 2016
1hr 54m
53: Passion of the Christ LIVE from NYC
This week Eli, Heath, and Noah team up for an atheist review of Passion of the Christ, also known as the first inhalation after Mel Gibson's last gasp of sanity. In the first ever live record of God Awful Movies, a sold out crowd at the People's Improv Theater in Midtown Manhattan join us in a night of mockery, revelry, and blatant anti-Semitism. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, p...
1hr 44m Aug 23, 2016
1hr 44m
52: What the Bleep do we Know?
In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for a skeptical review of What the Bleep do we Know?, the 2004 classic of quantum woo. From "scientific" studies that show you can meditate away high murder rates to "scientific" "proof" that water gets sad when you say mean things to it, this film crams so much bullshit into one place there's no way to describe it but impacted. If you’d lik...
1hr 31m Aug 16, 2016
1hr 31m
51: Vultures of Horror 2
On this week's episode, we pull a late audible and Heath, Noah, and Eli join forces for an atheist review of Vultures of Horror 2. In the second edition of everyone's favorite supernatural Nigerian Christian soap opera, nothing happens. But he still talk about it for an hour. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed b...
1hr 25m Aug 09, 2016
1hr 25m
50: Day When the Sun Rises in the West
In this week's episode, Heath, Noah, and Eli team up for an atheist review of Day When Sun Rises in West: Film that Shock the World. In this tale of inevitable destruction, four Muslim friends wonder if the end times will disturb their exciting life of chicken eating, rubble visiting, and cartoon sound effects. Combining poorly translated air conditioner instructions style subtitles, visual eff...
1hr 29m Aug 02, 2016
1hr 29m
49: Will A Man Rob God?
This week, Ishmael Brown joins us to talk about Would A Man Rob God? ... It's a slightly musical stage play about prosperity churches, performed for a very unimpressed live studio audience, and made into a movie that all takes place in the same room.  And no Brie Larson. --- If you'd like to hear more from Ishmael, you can check out his podcast, or his Facebook page. If you’d like to make a pe...
1hr 55m Jul 26, 2016
1hr 55m
48: Accidental Activist
This week, Callie Wright and Ari Stillman of the Gaytheist Manifesto Podcast join Eli, Noah, and Heath for an atheist review of Accidental Activist, a film about a bigot who struggles with the harsh consequences of his bigotry while trying his best to maintain in despite society moving forward without him. It's a movie where we're almost certain that they meant for the bigot to be the good guy,...
1hr 41m Jul 19, 2016
1hr 41m
47: Leap 2: Rise of the Beast
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of Leap 2: Rise of the Beast, a low-budget (no... lower than that) action packed drama about a group of sassy teens that stand up to the Catholic antichrist with a combination of parkour skills, kung fu, and old fashioned pluck. Somehow managing to pack even less parkour into this sequel, filmmaker Chris Tempel seems to have used...
1hr 45m Jul 12, 2016
1hr 45m
46: Leap
This week Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of Leap, a no-budget film about four friends who decide to use their remedial gymnastic skills to save souls for Jesus, despite ominous warnings from one of those teams of atheists that kill Christian parkour ministers. With substantially substandard cinematography, acting, music, editing, ADR, stunts, writing, and plot; Leap make...
1hr 49m Jul 05, 2016
1hr 49m
45: God's Army
This week, Heath has the sense not to join Eli and Noah as they embark on an atheist review of God's Army, the story of an alien lifeform that's disguised itself as a mole and hitched a ride on the face of a Mormon missionary. Or at least that was the story I was telling myself by the end just to keep from dying of boredom. Racism, sexism, and the most lazily jingled keys in the history of Chri...
1hr 49m Jun 28, 2016
1hr 49m
44: The Book of Mormon Volume One: The Journey
On this week's episode, Dan and Mark from Thank God I'm Atheist join us for an atheist review of The Book of Mormon Volume One: The Journey; the story of a crazy guy following the voices in his head across a desert while his children repeatedly try to kill each other. It's a journey of wonder, discovery, anachronisms, overweight camels from the wrong continent, and love. You can hear more of Da...
1hr 52m Jun 21, 2016
1hr 52m
43: Cipher in the Snow and Johnny Lingo
This week, Eli and Noah are joined by Bryce Blankenagel for an atheist review of Cipher in the Show and Johnny Lingo, two "educational" shorts produced by BYU in a desperate (and misguided) effort to make Mormonism seem normal. --- If you'd like to hear more from Bryce, you can check him out on The Naked Mormonism Podcast or on My Book of Mormon. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, p...
1hr 34m Jun 14, 2016
1hr 34m
42: Saturday's Warrior
This week, David Michael of the My Book of Mormon podcast joins us to kick off Mormon Movie Month with an atheist review of Saturday's Warrior, which is essentially the musical version of the Mormon Duggars. If you'd like to hear more of David's milk-chocolatey voice, you can find his podcast here. If you want to see the outtake Eli refers onto the show, you can find it here. If you’d like to ...
1hr 49m Jun 07, 2016
1hr 49m
41: Rock: It's Your Decision
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces once more; this time for an atheist review of Rock: It's Your Decision; a Bizarro-world version of Footloose where our hero uses his ability to not dance to inspire an entire town of youngsters to also not enjoy themselves. If you want to see our live show in NYC on August 12th, click here to get tickets. Our theme music is written and performed by R...
1hr 30m May 31, 2016
1hr 30m
40: More Than Chance
In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up once more for an atheist review of More Than Chance; the story of a young girl crippled by child abuse and really bad screenwriting, who eventually learns to overcome her disabilities and follow her dreams through a combination of Jesus and not dreaming very big. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on M...
1hr 36m May 24, 2016
1hr 36m
39: Second Glance
In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for an atheist review of Second Glance, a bizarre hybridization of an after school special, a re-imagining of It's a Wonderful Life, and unabashed anti-atheist bigotry. Plus we get to see little David AR White before his balls dropped and learn that apparently he never stood a chance. --- Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotn...
1hr 22m May 17, 2016
1hr 22m
38: The Freedom of Silence
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of The Freedom of Silence; a film that asks what happens when a computer expert and a Christianity expert team up to take down the evil, secular government through an act of terrorism. And they're the good guys. --- Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, che...
1hr 40m May 10, 2016
1hr 40m
37: Vultures of Horror
This week, we watched a Nigerian Christian demon bird cultclassic.  Yup. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick ofEvil Giraffes on Mars.  If you’d like to hear more, check outtheirFacebook Page.
1hr 25m May 03, 2016
1hr 25m
36: The Black Rider: Revelation Road
This week, Thomas Smith joins Eli, Noah, and Heath for anatheist review of The Black Rider: Revelation Road,the third film in a trilogy that has, until this point, known whichside of the colon the subtitle goes on.  Join us as wedesperately try to figure out what accent Kevin Sorbo is shootingfor, why David AR White is wearing knee pads, and what the hell thepoint of this whole trilogy was. Fo...
1hr 51m Apr 26, 2016
1hr 51m
35: Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire
This week, we're joined once again by special guest masochist Thomas Smith of Atheistically Speaking and Thomas and the Bible for an atheist review of Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire.  Part 1 went something like this: "In a pre-post-apocalyptic world, one humble karate ninja sets out to sell bulletproof vests door to door because he's an idiot.  But when he accidentally karate ninj...
1hr 54m Apr 19, 2016
1hr 54m
34: Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End
This week, we're joined by special guest masochist Thomas Smith of Atheistically Speaking and Thomas and the Bible for an atheist review of Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End.  In a pre-post-apocalyptic world, one humble karate ninja sets out to sell bulletproof vests door to door because he's an idiot.  But when he accidentally karate ninjas the wrong biker gang, nothing happens, but th...
1hr 49m Apr 12, 2016
1hr 49m
33: God's Not Dead 2
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of God's Not Dead 2, a story in which god continues to not be dead, apparently.  This film continues the Pure Flix tradition of cramming way too many characters into a story with way too little plot, all to a soundtrack that can only be described as castration-like.---Special musical thanks this week to Morgan Clarke, whose you c...
2hr 1m Apr 05, 2016
2hr 1m
32: Mercy Rule
On this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of Kirk Cameron's Mercy Rule; the tale of a scrappy, old-fashioned junkyard owner fighting back against socialized waste removal.  And while it's certainly the least "god" of any movie we've reviewed so far, it's far from the least "awful." Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes o...
1hr 36m Mar 29, 2016
1hr 36m
31: Miracles From Heaven
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath take a field trip to see Miracles From Heaven in the theater on opening weekend.  Red carpet!!!  Eli wore Versace, Noah wore Nike, and Heath wore a smile.  Nobody else was happy.  Join them in this fair and balanced review of a story about how Jesus gives deadly diseases to young children, and why doctors are to blame. Our theme music is written and performed by...
1hr 30m Mar 22, 2016
1hr 30m
30: A Matter of Faith
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces once again to take on the most blissfully ignorant film they've encountered so far.  Join them for an atheist review of A Matter of Faith; a film about a father whose daughter's ignorance is challenged by a college education.  After her biology professor has the audacity to teach true things, instead of dad's favorite fairytales, dad has no choice but...
1hr 49m Mar 15, 2016
1hr 49m
29: If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?
On this week's episode, Eli unearths the single craziest piece of batshittery in the history of film.  If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? is a gratutiously titled red-scare propaganda piece that mixes Christian persecution fetish, cold war paranoia, and baffling inconsistent accents to create the most bizarre cinematic experience we've yet endured.--- Our theme music is written and perf...
1hr 22m Mar 08, 2016
1hr 22m
28: Risen
This week we meet a movie that's out of our league, but only by a little.  Join Eli, Noah, and Heath as they head out for a field trip and learn how the Jesus story would have played out had it been a buddy cop flick in our atheist review of Risen.---You should really check out the preview for next week's movie.  It's more insane than you can possibly imagine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7...
1hr 19m Mar 01, 2016
1hr 19m
27: I'm in Love with a Church Girl
This week, former senior writer for the Onion and current writer for Comedy Central's @Midnight Jocelyn Richard joins us to break down a story about a man and a woman, and that's pretty much it.  This conflictless love story pits master thesbian Ja Rule across from the girl from Cuttin' Da Mustard and generates precisely the kind of onscreen chemistry that casting would suggest.  Join us for a ...
1hr 51m Feb 23, 2016
1hr 51m
26: Unconditional
In this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah join forces once more to take on a film that snuck just enough god stuff in to make the "faith" category on Netflix.  It's the story of a woman on the hunt for the man who killed her husband, even though the only description she has to work with is "african american male."  So listen in as we desperately try to fill an entire episode with a movie whe...
1hr 28m Feb 15, 2016
1hr 28m
25: Christian Mingle
This week, Eli, Heah, and Noah are joined by the hilarious Chelsea Davison to break down a heartwarming story of petty problems, woeful lack of chemistry, and filling out webforms.  Christian Mingle tells the story of shallow, paternalistic views on imagined white people problems amidst the backdrop of a storm-ravaged town in Mexico that just stays storm ravaged.---If you'd like to hear more fr...
1hr 41m Feb 09, 2016
1hr 41m
24: WWJD 3: The Journey Continues...
In this week's episode, we polish off the grand finale of the WWJD trilogy with an installment that maintains the series' continuity by having nothing to do with the other ones, just like the sequel.  Dr. T joins us to recount a story of tragedy, heartache, and not hurting anyone.If you'd like to follow Dr. T on Twitter, trust us, you'll just want to click here.Our theme song was written and pe...
1hr 45m Feb 02, 2016
1hr 45m
23: WWJD2: The Woodcarver
In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath break down the sequel to last week's homage to things happening randomly and in questionable focus; What Would Jesus Do 2: The Woodcarver.  This nearly impossible to properly punctuate sequel adds an Oscar eligible performance from Christian movie powerhouse John Ratzenberger, to answer the age old question of what gay GILF porn would look like if yo...
1hr 30m Jan 26, 2016
1hr 30m
22: What Would Jesus Do?
This week we meet a drifter with a heart of gold and no idea how humanity works. In a small California town with a bafflingly robust homeless population, a Jesus analog enters the lives of six community theater rejects; leaving both the characters and the viewers pondering one simple question... WTF?  Or, as they titled their movie (based on the bracelet of the same name) What Would Jesus Do?--...
1hr 47m Jan 19, 2016
1hr 47m
21: Little Boy
This week Eli, Noah, and Heath break down Little Boy, the true story of Jesus giving nuclear bomb powers to an 8 year old so that he could massacre Japanese civilians by the thousands during World War II.  Terrible apologetics, an awful portrayal of stage magicians, and a plot that forces him to repeatedly pronounce the world "nuclear" combine to create the perfect storm of misery for Eli.  And...
1hr 37m Jan 12, 2016
1hr 37m
20: Heaven's Door
In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath tackle a movie about little girl who has the ability to cure cancer, AIDS, heart disease, and kidney failure, but instead uses it to cure hamsters with indigestion.  But when her atheist mother finds out, she puts a stop to all this magical altruism in a hurry in Heaven's Door.--- Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Gir...
1hr 51m Jan 05, 2016
1hr 51m
19: Loving the Bad Man
This week, Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonance join us to break down a tale of a live triangle between a woman, her rapist, and her stalker.  Join us as we see exactly how many offended emails a podcast can fit into a single inbox, as we tackle the most disturbing film we've encountered so far, Loving the Bad Man.---Our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes o...
1hr 51m Dec 29, 2015
1hr 51m
18: Christmas Angel
This week comedian Rebecca Vigil joins Heath, Noah, and Eli to break down Christmas Angel, a movie that was just dissimilar enough from Touched by an Angel not to violate any copyrights.  Listen in as we move one depressing step closer to having seen Kevin Sorbo's entire filmography.If you had as much fun with musical comedian Rebecca Vigil as much as we did, you should follow her on Twitter. ...
1hr 43m Dec 22, 2015
1hr 43m
17: Silver Bells
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath break down Silver Bells, the story of a man whose competitive ways lead to criminal trouble when he accidentally hits somebody with a basketball just as all American jurisprudence disappears from the earth.  He's sentenced to Christianity, where he learns that winning isn't everything, and homeless people eat flour.---Our theme song is written and performed by Ry...
1hr 42m Dec 15, 2015
1hr 42m
16: What If...
This week, Heath makes a triumphant return to welcome guest masochist Michael Marshall; Project Director of the Good Thinking Society, co-host of Skeptics with a K, and host of Be Reasonable.  Together, we take on What If…; the story of It’s a Wonderful Life, but in reverse.  We watch Kevin Sorbo turn from a successful, philanthropic, considerate investment banker, to a failed reverend in a ter...
1hr 47m Dec 08, 2015
1hr 47m
15: Prodigal Planet
In this week's episode, Eli and Noah reach the belated end of the Thief in the Night quadrilogy with a story of fiction's tidiest nuclear disaster.  Join the petulant Christian, the sheep-haired 80s chick, the nuclear biologist, Jimmy the Mutant, and a sentient stocking full of mashed potatoes as they navigate the post-apocalyptic hellscape of radiation and helicopters.---If you'd like to hear ...
1hr 42m Dec 01, 2015
1hr 42m
14: Image of the Beast
This week Eli and Noah tackle the third film in the Thief in the Night series, Image of the Beast.  And as we descend further into hellscape of Russell S. Doughten's untreated mental illness, we find that computers are evil, Satan has a pretty good lawyer on retainer, and there will be locusts.  Glorious, glorious locusts.---Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Gira...
1hr 44m Nov 24, 2015
1hr 44m
13: A Distant Thunder
In this week's episode, Eli and Noah tackle the second movie in the infamous A Thief in the Night series; A Distant Thunder.  This is the story of the all the stuff the girl dreamed about in the first movie happening in real life; which basically means it's the story of the first movie, but all the actors are six years older.  With a bold redefinition of cinematic insanity, this film more than ...
1hr 30m Nov 17, 2015
1hr 30m
12: A Thief in the Night
This week, Eli and Noah break down our most oft-requested film; A Thief in the Night.  This launches a three part (or possibly four part if we can take it) series on one of the a movie that's horrible production quality pales in comparison to it's psychological abuse of a moral.--- Our theme was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars, and was used with permission.  If ...
1hr 41m Nov 10, 2015
1hr 41m
11: Redeemed
In this week's episode, Eli and Noah tackle Redeemed, a movie about how thinking about having a platonic, purely conversational relationship with a person you aren't married to will destroy your marriage. Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars.
1hr 45m Nov 03, 2015
1hr 45m
10: The Lock In
This week, Eli and Noah break down The Lock In, a movie that carves out its own genre somewhere between "found footage horror", and "My bad, I thought I'd turned the camera off."  When three friends find a nudie magazine in a dumpster, it never occurs to them that it might be possessed by demons, because that would be insane.  But that's actually what happens in this vapid waste of pixels. The...
1hr 40m Oct 27, 2015
1hr 40m
9: Last Ounce of Courage
In this week's episode, comedian Micah Sherman joins us to break down a movie so jingoistic the American flags are made up of smaller American flags.  Last Ounce of Courage is a retelling of The Grinch That Stole Christmas from the point of view of the mayor of Whoville, a Vietnam veteran whose obsession with Jesus stems from untreated PTSD.If you'd like to hear more from Micah, you can check h...
1hr 45m Oct 20, 2015
1hr 45m
8: Catching Faith
In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath break down Catching Faith; a movie based on a Christian coloring book for grown-ups that revolves around a mother's tireless effort to snitch on her teenage son for drinking and destroy his football dreams in the process.  And it's as bad as that sounds.And if you'd like to hear more from our maestro, Ryan Slotnick, check out Evil Giraffes on Mars's ...
1hr 38m Oct 13, 2015
1hr 38m