Archive: Law and Ordeals

23: Five hats for five tortoises and five lobsters

Amuse the Force — Tue, 13 Mar 2018 14:26:27 +0000

Theft is in the air at Law and Ordeals this week, though what's with the trend of stealing things that are alive? A motorist in Port Washington is having a particularly bad day. We discover possibly the worst place ever to conduct an affair. A dubious package from Japan arrives.

22: Nothing makes neighbors more feisty than garbage disposal

Amuse the Force — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 18:38:20 +0000

Diplomacy doesn't always work when it comes to garbage collection in the Fox Cities. An 18-year-old chooses the wrong terrain upon which to test his new Subaru. Vaping isn't for everyone. Pick-up basketball isn't for everyone. Round-the-clock home surveillance makes it awful challenging these days to surprise your spouse with new furniture.

21: The duck was not in peril because it was made out of wood

Amuse the Force — Fri, 16 Feb 2018 18:24:53 +0000

A wildlife center gets calls to assist and injured animal and discover something unusual. A man apparently couldn't microwave his stolen burrito fast enough. People get hangry when the pizza order takes a while. Don't flush that weed, man. And we know you're the guy peeing in the Starbucks cups, because your name is written on them in Sharpie.

20: There are two kinds of dimness, and one can be established with spray paint

Amuse the Force — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 19:55:05 +0000

A neighbor employs an unusual method to dim the lights across the street. A dispute over laundry. A dispute over headphones and sweat pants. Can you tell the difference between the smell of marijuana and burnt food? Maybe just make sure it's drugs before you call the police.

19: Booking a banquet hall with my fictional fiance

Amuse the Force — Thu, 11 Jan 2018 16:25:26 +0000

A phone demonstration turns into a missing phone. Fishermen are told they need to choose a different venue aside from the golf course pond. A woman's wedding requests go unmet until she finds someone to wed. A backpack suspended in the air. And you guys, just, like, never go on the ice, OK?

18: It wouldn't be Christmas without Jesus opening a dojo

Amuse the Force — Thu, 21 Dec 2017 20:19:18 +0000

The messiah pays a visit to local retailers. An illegal way to make a makeshift Santa sleigh. Christmas dragging one motorist down in a literal way. A burglar who has trouble negotiating the winter elements. And seriously, don't mess with a Marine, whether or not he's 95 years old. It's a special holiday edition of the Law and Ordeals podcast.

17: Where will we put the Thanksgiving leftovers after you took a sword to the fridge?

Amuse the Force — Thu, 07 Dec 2017 20:42:05 +0000

A man's Thanksgiving ends in sword-wielding frustration. It turns out you can't get to China by traveling underground. "I love you" feels hollow when it's scrawled in marker on your vehicle's upholstery. A stuffed animal is complicit in electronics theft.

16: The cops have already been called on Santa

Amuse the Force — Mon, 27 Nov 2017 19:37:11 +0000

The cops have already been called on Santa, and it's not even December. The local cop shop is not a suitable drop-off location for your outgoing appliances. Some calisthenics at 2 in the morning get the attention of local police. A woman looking for one end of the Milwaukee metro finds ... the other. And: If you're driving a car loaded with illegality, maybe obey the basic traffic laws, mmk?

15: What do you do when you're stuck overnight in a cooler? You drink the beer. Obviously.

Amuse the Force — Mon, 30 Oct 2017 18:56:16 +0000

For the first time, Law and Ordeals navigates outside the jurisdiction for a Marshfield story that's too irresistible not to share. A thief can't hide the evidence on his face. Thieves take some very intriguing items from a local hotel. A grandma gives a scammer a piece of her mind. And a woodchuck on the loose!

14: Your neighbor is on a mission to kill your cat -- unless the cat strikes first

Amuse the Force — Thu, 19 Oct 2017 13:46:00 +0000

Law and Ordeals adopts an animal theme this week. A plot to kill a neighbor's cat is foiled by the potential assailant's talkativeness, a cat tries to murder its house guests by setting the kitchen on fire, flamingos go missing in the midst of a school rivalry and a dude in Cudahy tries to escape police in an unusual getaway car.

13: (fixed audio): Breaking out the infrared cameras to catch naked yoga guy

Amuse the Force — Fri, 13 Oct 2017 18:23:32 +0000

A neighborly dispute emerges over a voodoo doll in one neighbor's driveway. Local police turn to technology to track down a naked yoga practitioner. A man demonstrates the worst possible way to confront what he believes are drug users on his block. And if your house gets broken into, maybe hide the 32 marijuana plants before the cops arrive? It's this week's navigation through the strange and stupid of Milwaukee-area police reports.

12: JR is not going to swerve to avoid a squirrel on the road

Amuse the Force — Mon, 11 Sep 2017 19:26:05 +0000

JR's heartless stance toward helpless little creatures is brought about after a Pewaukee driver flips her car over a squirrel. A zombie-response vehicle is on the loose. A 3-year-old temper tantrum that shook the house, some Drive-Thru Drama at McDonald's and could somebody get that person some pants?

11: If you're gonna get naked, make sure you're on the right balcony

Amuse the Force — Tue, 01 Aug 2017 18:03:00 +0000

A man in Greenfield lost his pants but not his fear of heights when confronted with a mid-air conundrum. A dude goes way overboard after his roommate eats all the eggs. A potential diamond shopper appears to be in the market for something very, very different and Drive-Thru Drama that may or may not have been just a spectacular pun.

10: Waffles the Goat is in custody

Amuse the Force — Wed, 12 Jul 2017 19:08:17 +0000

The newest celebrity in Oconomowoc is a 5-month-old goat named Waffles after his "run-in" with the police, one neighbor is particularly sensitive about his sidewalk, a dispute over -- what else -- the TV remote control turns ugly and a dumpster diver with a heart of gold.

9: Two Dollars in Quarters

Amuse the Force — Fri, 23 Jun 2017 19:22:45 +0000

Violence erupts when a man tries to pay in the worst possible way for a not-so-wholesome service, gummy bears have become the vessel for something else, a family dispute over a new tattoo and is that guy drowning or just, like, swimming? Also, Lainey and JR reminisce on their shared history of horror stories involving flammable pastries.

8: Red lights flying to the moon

Amuse the Force — Fri, 09 Jun 2017 19:21:34 +0000

Our favorite city, Waukesha, doesn't disappoint this week with a UFO sighting, a menacing Clint Eastwood reference and protesters! Plus, an eye-opening donation to goodwill, an ominous slice of cheese and how JR is spending his weekend: yelling at traffic.

7: A new way to fix the toilet

Amuse the Force — Fri, 12 May 2017 18:22:47 +0000

Some "butt-dials" will lead to embarrassment with friends, and some will land you in jail, depending on what you have in your pockets when you accidentally call the cops. A woman who really, really, really needs a cigarette. The 75-cent thief. An escalating dispute involving badminton rackets and an unconventional way to get the toilet fixed. #Police #Crime #Milwaukee

6: Kiefer Sutherland is on the phone

Amuse the Force — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 19:41:48 +0000

Our "False Alarm" segment debuts highlighting how NOT to use 911 -- in this case, saving entrapped rodents doesn't make the cut of best practices. Neither does settling a debate over rapper Kendrick Lamar. Also, cops show extra care for a drunken man's fish, and just what kind of animal was stolen in Muskego? And what do you do when Kiefer Sutherland gives you a call? #Police #Crime #Milwaukee

5: Oil (based-paint) and water

Amuse the Force — Mon, 17 Apr 2017 11:00:00 +0000

We debut the "Drive Thru Drama" segment with a bit of a dispute over dipping sauce, an employee learns the hilarious consequences of sleeping on the job, the most ironic shoplifting target ever and a St. Patrick's Day celebration that could have maybe used more googling. Plus, why does that random neighbor have a crossbow? Each week, Lainey Seyler and JR Radcliffe highlight the strange and stupid in Milwaukee-area police reports. #police

4: Oh My Stars and Little Fishes

Amuse the Force — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 22:22:49 +0000

Lainey is joined by guest host Karen Pilarski, news reporter at Lake Country/Now Publications. Topics include a broom as the weapon and the bus as a getaway car (it's not a modern version of "Clue," but it could be), a dubious box of sugar, a call to the cops on behalf of some feathered friends and the early favorite for 2017 Catch Phrase of the Year.

3: "I'm high right now"

Amuse the Force — Fri, 24 Mar 2017 20:18:12 +0000

It turns out tinfoil is not the ideal solution to skirting anti-theft equipment. When is it too early to use a snow blower? What sad song would you be blaring at 12:18 a.m. in your car, to the chagrin of your neighbors? It's all part of this week's Law and Ordeals with JR Radcliffe and Lainey Seyler.

2: The Hot Spot

Amuse the Force — Fri, 17 Mar 2017 16:27:17 +0000

"Suspicious drug activity" or just bad customer service? Or neither? A guy taking a long bus ride just to finish what someone else started (smoking). A glorious adventure on a motorized scooter. Law and Ordeals brings you the strange and the stupid from Suburban Milwaukee police reports.

1: Meat your maker

Amuse the Force — Fri, 10 Mar 2017 17:27:04 +0000

A bag of rotting meat becomes the centerpiece of a neighborly feud, plus a B-Dubs getting lots of action and the discovery of human bones! Er, maybe that's a deer carcass. Law and Ordeals brings you the strange and the stupid from Suburban Milwaukee police reports. (Disregard the reference to our initial title, "Amuse the Force" -- we upgraded!)