S3 Ep86: TO POSTPONE OR TO CANCEL - THAT IS THE QUESTION
Is it postponements or cancellations, and just how many tickets can you roll over? Yes, the podcast embraces yet another week of clusterfuck Super League. Dennis looks closely at essential job descriptions before offering alternatives, all whilst recording at 36,000 feet. Sam is kept up all night after partaking in a Wakefield e-riddled preservative-filled blue ice cream, and Rob considers taki...
1hr 34m Aug 22, 2021
1hr 34m
S3 Ep85: HOW MANY PIXELS IS MATT DAVIS?
With the Olympics in full swing, the podcast puts together its best 10 Wire players to compete in a Decathlon. A refreshing change sees Sam frame his shitistics precisely, unlike the framework of his bay window. Dennis decides a gay anthem pop song fits perfectly to the beat of Warrington's new star George Williams, and Rob discovers just how many pixels make up Matt Davis on a 4K TV. Plus, the...
1hr 46m Aug 04, 2021
1hr 46m
S3 Ep84: "DON'T BE A F*CKING IDIOT.. THIS THAT AND THE OTHER"
What would Brian Bevan say returns, but has a long absence, a stint in the  jungle and the Euro's left the podcasters with match day amnesia? Sam brings his plagiarised shitistics on George Williams, Rob a pound or two heavier reads a lockdown letter serving up french porridge. And move over Gareth Southgate, as Dennis gives his own uninspiring Grand Final team talk. Plus, it's all-hands-on-dec...
1hr 35m Jul 14, 2021
1hr 35m
S3 Ep83: AND FINALLY MONSIEUR PRICE, A WAFER-THIN DEFENCE
Just how thin is Warrington's right-edge defence, Rob asks, before coming up with a list of comparisons. Warning - Sam breaks his record for expletives, and Dennis becomes all confused following a dose of Bermuda amnesia. Brace yourself for Daniel's soundbite, and strap-in for high seas on HMS HJ. Plus, there's a brawl at the free bar, and the real story behind the failure of the 1970's America...
1hr 32m Jun 09, 2021
1hr 32m
S3 Ep82: TOBY KING HOODWINKED BY 0.6%
With Wire’s marquee halfback full of beans, Warrington become the most attacking side in Super League, but has Toby King been hoodwinked by Simon Moran’s percentages? A homesick George turns out to be a dead ringer for a Canadian snooker player. Sam goes in search of a 1980’s discotheque, Dennis opens a free bar, and Rob questions a player’s penis through the reflection of a convex or concave c...
1hr 24m May 29, 2021
1hr 24m
S3 Ep81: SAM'S DOG REFUSES TO URINATE ON GREG INGLIS' FRONT LAWN
With fans back at the Halliwell Jones cheering on the Wire, the podcast ironically has no applause for Stevie’s team selection. Rob finds himself babysitting as his 6th wife deserts him for Eurovision. Dennis bathes in his fails and unexpectedly massages in Imperial Leather. And Sam’s dog senses an upset, following its scent-less antics. Plus, Chris Sandow contacts the pod and HMS HJ drops anch...
1hr 25m May 19, 2021
1hr 25m
S3 Ep80: THE OLIVIER AWARD
There’s rumours a-plenty on this week’s podcast, which leads to another jingle. But if that’s not enough, the pod is joined by YouTube star Jake Lindsay from the Warrington Foundation. Rob blows his top following hate mail on Twitter. Sam’s shitistics go on for that long Jake turns to his phone. And Dennis loses the plot with a soundbite clusterfuck. Plus, HMS HJ heads for the Rock of Giblets. ...
1hr 24m May 12, 2021
1hr 24m
S3 Ep79: UN PASSEPORT FLOCONNEUX
It’s an apologetic podcast following Warrington’s magnifique performance, as the lads try to butter up their predictions from the previous week. Sam’s shitistics prove we’ve found our fourth prop, but ridiculously only one player can score down the Wolves’ right edge. Rob becomes an advocate for intermated player breeding. And Dennis goes in search, according to Sky’s commentary, of Warrington’...
1hr 9m Apr 28, 2021
1hr 9m
S3 Ep78: HACKED OFF WITH AN OUR LEAGUE DRAW
What would Brian Bevan say reviews two games in the company of blogger Daniel. But will the intrusion of an extra podcaster lead to another Iranian Embassy siege? Rob’s obsessed with points percentages and the fluid / nut ratio of Tom Lineham’s bollocks. Sam takes his stats to Albania. And Dennis’ social golden point distancing comes into question whilst oblivious to firewalls. Plus, Mutiny on ...
1hr 14m Apr 21, 2021
1hr 14m
S3 Ep77: JUST HOW SHIT ARE LEIGH?
After Warrington come up with a convincing win, the podcast questions just how shit are Leigh? Rob receives a letter of complaint but Carry’s On with his themed teams. Sam puts all his Wire golden boy posters back up. And Dennis fails to breakdown the molecular structure of a Flake, as he unexpectedly turns up the heat on Blake. Plus, HMS HJ outmanoeuvres a Primrose submarine. Enjoy.
1hr 6m Apr 05, 2021
1hr 6m
S3 Ep76: MIKE COOPER'S NEW SEISMOMETER HAIRCUT
After an abysmal opening Wire performance, the podcast goes in search of the answers to what went wrong. Sam's positivity towards Price wanes a numerical point, Rob investigates a specifc Doctor's Hippocratic Oath, and Dennis sits on his bench as he fails to explain the unexpected. Plus, there's Mutiny on the HJ and the Powell of Love. Enjoy.
1hr 22m Mar 31, 2021
1hr 22m
S3 Ep75: ROEBUCK'S ONLY A SAUSAGE DOG SMALLER THAN GREG INGLIS
With Wire’s first game not too far away, the podcast returns for a third season. The Classification Universal Numerical Tariff Society predicts the Super League top eight. Rob offers up his thoughts on a Ugandan dictator who would make an excellent prop, Dennis‘ Tackle Bags is replaced by Fails or the Unexpected, and Sam gets all lost at sea with the new “What would Brian Bevan say?” sitcom - M...
1hr 33m Mar 15, 2021
1hr 33m
S3 Ep74: PREXIT
With the announcement that coach Steve Price's resilient stay with Wire is set to finish come the close of the 2021 Super League season, it's time for a Prexit debate. Joining the three usual podcasting clowns are headband wearing Dave Birch from Warrington Hospital Radio, the gorgeous Matt Turner from Warrington Guardian and some geezer called Mike Brown "innit!" . Enjoy. 
40m Feb 19, 2021
40m
S2 Ep73: TONY BARROW - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL
It comes with great pleasure to welcome Tony Barrow to the podcast. Tony coached the brilliant Wire side that won the Premiership in 1986 - when it really was "Our Year".  Merry Christmas everyone. Enjoy. 
1hr 33m Dec 26, 2020
1hr 33m
S2 Ep72: PAY THE PRICE FOR A WINNING COACH
Due to Price running out of resilience it’s the last podcast of 2020. As the listeners run out of patience with Wire’s coach, we receive record amounts of listener feedback. The WhatBevan panel, known as the Classification Universal Numerical Tarif Society, rate the players. And is Cliff Richard set to be Warrington’s new boss? Sam’s shitistics “Countdown” the facts, as Rob admits his fantasy o...
1hr 50m Nov 16, 2020
1hr 50m
S2 Ep71: TEN TIMES THEWLIS SPASM
As the regular season comes to an end the podcasters let their hair down with a drink or twenty. And in their intoxicated state, set about reviewing Wire’s games, culminating in record number of expletives, and tarnished by Dennis' alcoholic aggressiveness fuelled by the castration of his tackle bags. Shitistics features a Chris Whitty Covid-19 impression. Daniel turns the lights out on Price a...
1hr 36m Nov 09, 2020
1hr 36m
S2 Ep70: A PLUMBER'S LYCANTHROPY IN HUDDERSFIELD
Wire manage to win two games in the space of 80 minutes, but the listeners’ horseshit still spikes by 11.3%. With another lockdown approaching, Dennis heads for the bunker - with his video referees in shock. Sam’s expletives hit an all time WhatsApp high, before he swings his shitistics left and right. Rob, still mourning from the loss of his 17-year-old cat, goes completely conkers. And a full...
1hr 23m Nov 02, 2020
1hr 23m
S2 Ep69: WILL IT ALL END IN TIERS?
Has coach Price 'definitely maybe' come up with the oxymoron quote of the season? What type of cheese, metaphorically, is Toby King? When does a fixture go from being postponed to cancelled? Just how do Wire score their tries? And where was the opposing fullback when Brian Bevan played his first game? Will Ralph and Stevie enter Strictly and be crowned glitterball champions? And did Sam say the...
1hr 7m Oct 26, 2020
1hr 7m
S2 Ep68: I WATCHED BRIAN BRIAN PLAY HIS FIRST GAME FOR THE WIRE
To try and make sense of another Wire loss, the podcast turns to a man that watched Brian Bevan play his first ever game for Warrington. Rob critiques the lentils on the 1876 Halliwell Jones restaurant menu. After being trolled on social media, Daniel sets the record straight. Currie‘s curry of the week is back. Dennis offers up a Rugby pool taskforce team. And by popular demand, Rimmer’s Lot r...
1hr 25m Oct 12, 2020
1hr 25m
S2 Ep67: WAS IT ALL JUST A WET DREAM?
It’s a time for reflection as the show gets to grips with the past seven days of Wire action, but will the podcast lapse into a US-style Presidential debate?  Sam digs up historical facts on Wigan’s grand tour of the Vatican to unearth which Pope told them first to “fuck off” with translations in Italian and Latin. Rob’s had a nasty fall, but even with a cracked rib, he still believes he has a ...
1hr 30m Oct 05, 2020
1hr 30m
RIMMER'S LOT - SERIES 1 BOXSET
The Big Opening Burrell's Visit A Big Turd The Canadian Call What Would Mother Do? Tony's Cardboard Cutouts Hetherington A Bull In A China Shop The Pizzeria Health Inspector Cummings A Cake Of Percentages Who Shot RR?
1hr 14m Oct 01, 2020
1hr 14m
S2 Ep66: I TURNED TWENTY SIX A FEW MONTHS AGO
This week the podcast "gets its shit together" following the Sky Sports Mamomite interview. Wire make it 9 wins on the trot, with Sam trotting out the shitistics on props Hill, Cooper and Philbin - but will it take their own anagrams to split the difference? An outbreak of caveatitus sees Daniel being infected, leading to Dennis’ idea of a Halliwell Jones bubble suit with attached drinking pipe...
1hr 32m Sep 28, 2020
1hr 32m
S2 Ep65: ON ME HEAD SON
After another brilliant Wire victory is there room in the team for all their stars? The podcast speaks with both Widdop’s and Inglis’s Australian agents - but can we read between their lines? Dennis takes the game by the balls with his NAD revolutionary technology, and a header leads to a headstrong podcasters debate. Sam has a theory on crowd-less goal kicking conversions, but just what are th...
1hr 29m Sep 21, 2020
1hr 29m
S2 Ep64: PERCENTAGES - WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
With the RFL changing the Super League table to points percentage, the podcasters have their abacuses ready. Wire score a brilliant winning try in the 97.5% moment of the match but Dennis calculates what percentage of tries are lost due to rugby posts. Sam takes us through his mathematical top-four-clusterfuck-ratio, with Rob offering to provide supportive graphs because he’s got sod all else t...
1hr 28m Sep 14, 2020
1hr 28m
S2 Ep63: THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN
Has coach Price finally discovered his best seventeen? The podcast reflects on a brilliant collective Wire effort, along with some outstanding individual performances. And is Stefan Ratchford the best number 13 in Super League - even though he won’t be able to walk for a week? After receiving a written warning, Dennis is rubbed up the wrong way, but what are the best 10 things to touch? Sam sho...
1hr 23m Sep 07, 2020
1hr 23m
S2 Ep62: HENRY MOORE'S KIBULA
With Declan set to leave Wire, the podcast desperately tries to sell off Patton merchandise. The monetisation doesn’t stop there though, with Rob pushing for a sponsorship deal that ‘plumbs’ new depths. Dennis‘ Tackle Bags is distracted by breaking news. Sam calculates how many replicas of him make up the energy of one Mamo. And is Samy Kibula’s body shape the same as Les Dawson’s lead dancer o...
1hr 26m Sep 01, 2020
1hr 26m
S2 Ep61: SHOULDERING A PRAYER FOR BIG BEN
Which washing detergent does Coach Price use? We may not have the answer but Steve’s attacking stats come out in the wash during Sam’s shitistics. Dennis signals the death of RL fair play, following Flakey Blake‘s show-pony antics. Rob reveals the average IQ of a podcast listener with Catchment Universal Mathematically - Generated Arithmetic Reynolds Geometrics Listener Enticer. And just what d...
1hr 16m Aug 17, 2020
1hr 16m
S2 Ep60: BLIND-SHOTTED
As Wire return victorious, the podcast can finally discuss a match... but more importantly where would Idris Elba and Bill Arthur go clubbing together? Steve Price invents a new word, “Blind-Shotted”, which turns out to be a section at Jerkmeoff.com. Dennis, restricted by recording in his holiday B&B’s public lounge, only swears twice. Sam has new graph paper for his shitistics as he blows the ...
1hr 18m Aug 10, 2020
1hr 18m
S2 Ep59: STEVE PRICE'S SWISS ARMY KNIFE
As Wire get ready for action with no spectators, Area 51 takes a look at Warrington attendances. Steve Price moves away from his ‘resilience’ saying to his new quote of ‘versatility’, but are the Wolves fringe players as versatile as the Swiss Army knife? Meanwhile over the alpine border it’s the sharpness of a French cutting-edge commentator that tops the vote, as the podcast also votes on Dan...
1hr 22m Aug 03, 2020
1hr 22m
S2 Ep58: KINETIC KICKERS
This week, the Podcast rewrites the Wire kickers’ record books, following the application of the Magnus Effect and kinetic energy. Dennis’ Tacklebags’ new Rugby ball invention is far from a drag. Sam’s eyes water after hearing an anagram of Danny Walker. And can Rob perfect his Brian Cox impersonation before the podcast tracks down Warrington’s Greek winger Pheidippides on the Island of Lesbos?...
1hr 23m Jul 27, 2020
1hr 23m
S2 Ep57: DEMIS ROUSSOS' BIRTHDAY CAKE
As the podcast converts to Rugby Union, can Wire convert to a 58% winning ratio in their home, away or neutral bids?  Dennis seeks planning permission on Saddleworth Moor for the new RL Superdome. Sam relives a 38,000ft sexual encounter with Henry Fa'afili, before Chris Hill drops by Rimmer’s Lot where there’s a sticky situation. And Rob reads a Lockdown Letter from a Barbie fan who’s the niece...
1hr 36m Jul 20, 2020
1hr 36m
S2 Ep56: WHEN ACTION MAN TWATTED KEN
To scrum or not to scrum, that is the question. Yes, the podcast goes in search of the phantom Super League scientific paper, as well as Andrew Johns’ file, held in Area 51. Rob details Barbie’s extensive vehicle portfolio from 1962 to 1990, Dennis’ tackle bags ‘snatches’ a pay-as-you-play scheme, and Sam can’t get enough of a bare-chested Luther. Rimmer’s Lot is back with aristocracy visiting ...
1hr 17m Jul 13, 2020
1hr 17m
S2 Ep55: THE MICROWAVE MEAL
The podcast brings you a parodic sitcom set at the new national RL museum, entitled ‘Rimmer’s Lot’. And following on from the Greg Inglis scoop, the lads discuss just what he was cooking in his microwave. Sam’s shitistics analyse how much you should pay for a good hooker, which easily converts to Amsterdam red light currency. Dennis’ tackle bags has the leading sports trainer manufacturers queu...
1hr 15m Jul 06, 2020
1hr 15m
S2 Ep54: GREG INGLIS
What would Brian Bevan say presents a podcast exclusive, as we are privileged to be joined by footballing genius, Greg Inglis. We hear about Greg's proud Indigenous heritage and how his youth turned him into the skilful player we see today. He reminisces about his time with Melbourne and the Bunnies, and explains why he is ready to continue his Rugby League journey at the Halliwell Jones. We di...
1hr Jun 24, 2020
1hr
S2 Ep53: SINGLEDICKERS.COM
This week’s guest Daniel, from I’ve Got A Loose Wire, educates the podcast on the hobby of blogging. Sam’s shitistics take aim at Wire coaches, but is there a coach with the capacity to take 60 pensioners to watch Arthur Askey? A player’s Instagram profile leads to a standoff between young and old, and Dennis’ new interactive referees' top, comes with a confusing dry clean only warning. A Green...
1hr 6m Jun 22, 2020
1hr 6m
S2 Ep52: DENIM SHORTS IN THE CARLTON CLUB
Dave Birch, commentator for Warrington Hospital Radio, is this week’s guest. We find out from Dave what it takes to commentate on the Wire, but more importantly, which player he was attracted to that wore denim shorts on cold Sunday evenings. ITV Presenter Davina McCall goes on a search for Steve Price in a special episode of Long Lost Tactics. Sam decides to read out the Wire props’ Tinder pro...
1hr 38m Jun 15, 2020
1hr 38m
S2 Ep51: THE DEEP END OF WOOLSTON BATHS
As the vertical green and red stripes win the club’s top of the tops, the ley lines are drawn in this week's podcast by determining statistically which Wire wingers are the best - but there's only one speedster that aligns with a podcaster's erection. Sam takes a confusing look at the salary cap without a caveat of VAT. Following a fan's lockdown letter sent from the Channel Islands, Rob refuse...
1hr 19m Jun 08, 2020
1hr 19m
S2 Ep50: STEVE ANDERSON - A COACH'S JOURNEY
The Rugby coach Steve Anderson served a terrific apprenticeship in the heartland of Queensland Rugby League, before an incredible coaching journey took him to the newly-formed team, the Western Reds. With the Super League war in full swing, Steve would then help create the Melbourne Storm. After the Storm made history by winning their first grand final, Steve would go one step further and becom...
1hr 37m Jun 01, 2020
1hr 37m
S2 Ep49: ARE WE DREAMINGLIS....?
Has the podcast rebranded to become the Greg Inglis show? Flakey Blako preaches to his disciples about a Tuesday evening drive through, much to the annoyance of Brothers Waywell and London. Lockdown Letters receives its first transgender email, leaving two coaching styles embroiled in a clash of gender. The listeners vote relocation relocation to decide where Wire’s new superstar should call ho...
59m May 25, 2020
59m
S2 Ep48: CHRIS RILEY - A BOY PLAYING A MAN'S GAME
Chris Riley is this week's podcast guest. We chat with Chris about growing up and adapting to his brother's illness, and how playing Rugby League for Penketh High School gave him a great start in the game. Chris tragically lost his mother on Christmas Day, and we hear from Chris about the wonderful compassion Tony Smith showed him - a story not many have heard. We learn how Paul Cullen gave Chr...
1hr 2m May 18, 2020
1hr 2m
S2 Ep47: THIS ISN'T OUR FINEST HOUR
With the 75th anniversary VE celebrations fresh in the podcasters’ minds, Dennis and Rob fight over their respective Granddads’ war contributions. And which Warrington players will have their conscriptions renewed, or be demobbed by the club? A political affair leaves Ben Currie on rations of powdered egg. Daniel is left shell shocked in the trenches following a podcasting mission that was a br...
54m May 11, 2020
54m
S2 Ep46: A CANVAS OF VEGAN SHITE
With no guests on this week's episode, the podcasters are left scratching their heads with the realisation that embracing solitude is the "new norm". They discuss whether Wire were a second row forward short in their quest for the 93-94 Championship, before Dennis takes an in-depth look at the Halifax team and completely misses the point - along with managing to exceed this month's expletive qu...
1hr 7m May 04, 2020
1hr 7m
S2 Ep45: DAVE WOODS - OFF THE TELLY
What would Brian Bevan say is honoured by the presence of the BBC's Mr Rugby League, Dave Woods. Strap in for a marathon podcast, as Dave discusses his endurance rowing achievement and his feeble pet guinea pig he keeps in his garage that he's trying to Mirror into a fine physical specimen. We discuss Dave's road to journalism - and Lincolnshire - but more importantly we discover the difference...
1hr 59m Apr 27, 2020
1hr 59m
S2 Ep44: WIRE LEGEND - LEE BRIERS
Lee Briers personifies Rugby League and in this week’s episode Lee joins the podcast to discuss his incredible career, coaching, and multicoloured beard. We learn how he’d gatecrash Knowsley Road, which St Helens players are best to throw house bricks at, and just where and when to break into the Halliwell Jones. We chat about how Lee’s caring for NHS frontline workers, those vulnerable in the ...
1hr 9m Apr 20, 2020
1hr 9m
S2 Ep43: SPECIAL GUEST - JON CLARKE
What would Brian Bevan say podcast is honoured to be in the presence of Warrington Wolves legend and now head of strength & conditioning for England Rugby Union - Jon Clarke.  In an hour-long special, Jon reflects on his amazing Rugby League journey from signing as a teenager for Wigan, to his move to the capital following a life-changing experience, his arrival at his beloved Wire, and how his...
1hr 12m Apr 13, 2020
1hr 12m
S2 Ep42: GARY CARTER'S WIRE IN THE WILLOWS
With no Rugby League, the action comes in the way of the fabulous Sun sports journalist Gary Carter. The podcast questions Gary on the Wolves but the little devil seems more up for promoting his beloved Salford. We celebrate 25 years of Super League with more of Gary‘s Salford anecdotes, and will Dennis’ new board game be plagiarised by Gary to boost Salford revenue? Sam and Gary collectively k...
1hr 38m Apr 06, 2020
1hr 38m
S2 Ep41: GUARDIANS OF ISOLATION
With the Super League season suspended, Simon and Karl are trapped together in an underground Cheshire bunker, as the podcast is left to reflect in isolation on what was, and will be. Due to a booking error, rather than Tina Turner joining the show, the brilliant Matthew Turner, sports journalist from the Warrington Guardian, steps in. We find out from Matt just when Tony Smith will look you in...
1hr 13m Mar 30, 2020
1hr 13m
S2 Ep40: CURRIE ON REGARDLESS
As the apocalypse approaches, Warrington win in the city of Hull, which ironically is pretty much the end of the earth. Ben Murdoch Masila’s new hairstyle goes viral in a listener vote off, as Dennis - wearing his new, innovative, bright red chevron Wire jersey - offers to meet the big man at the barbers. Sam’s obsession with Ben Currie reaches pandemic proportions, and due to his self-isolatio...
1hr 5m Mar 15, 2020
1hr 5m
S2 Ep39: PRICE'S WHITE KNUCKLE RIDE
It’s a somewhat mixed listener reaction following the Castleford win. Was it only hard slog and commitment that edged Wire to victory, or was there quality also in their performance? Currie adds chilli to the mix, leading to a spike in his heat’o’meter reading, but the absent Burrell is left dining elsewhere following a delivery of opulant John Lewis cutlery. Dennis decides to write to Karl Fit...
1hr 14m Mar 09, 2020
1hr 14m
S2 Ep38: HEADINGLEY CATASTROPHE
The podcasters are almost lost for words after Warrington’s Headingley clusterfuck performance, and Sam’s stats only back up the team’s shambolic away form. Steve Price continues to be confused by past & present tense, as well as creating a new word for the English language. Chris Hill enters Mastermind with a specialist subject of answering RL questions the question before last. Rob’s Hadron D...
1hr 2m Mar 02, 2020
1hr 2m