Unknown Speaker 0:00

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Sharon Hartley 0:21

Well welcome to this episode of Over the Influence. This is the final episode of this current series -episode number 10. I cannot believe we are at this stage already, it's flown by. It's been brilliant. So we're really excited about recording this particular episode. You get to listen to myself, Sharon Hartley, otherwise known as a Shazza. I am 46 years old. I am mum to three children. I've got two teenagers and an in between ager, and I’m married to Paul. I live in Lancashire in the northwest of England. And today I am 675 days alcohol-free. I’m quite chuffed. My target was 90 days. And here I am, 675 days later, still surprising myself daily, still enjoying it and approaching two years, which is pretty mind boggling for somebody like me that was a daily drinker. And my beautiful co-host, well he’s not here, so we've got Freddie.

Freddie Bennett 1:25

Hey, what's up everybody? My name is Freddie otherwise known as Freddie. I used to run around bars with my top off and now I run ultra marathons with my job. I used to be stressed, depressed and drunk. And now I am happy, sober and still fairly stressed, to be honest. But I can't believe we've made it to 10 episodes. It’s a very school's out for the summer feeling today. And yeah, it's been quite an amazing journey, not even the alcohol-free journey but the journey of this podcast and a journey of discovery. And I've realised I'm almost at 500 days. Half of 1000.

Sharon Hartley 2:07

Let's not forget Freddie, well. I get quite a lot of messages about this podcast and one thing that crops up all the time is oh, doesn’t background Ben sound nice. He’s supposed to be in the background for a reason!

Ben Anderson 2:26

I'm Ben and I'm the producer. I stay very quiet for most of the time, but occasionally, especially when I want to rub Shaz up the wrong way, I get involved like the moderation episode.

Sharon Hartley 2:37

It's still being talked about that episode, Ben.

Freddie Bennett 2:40

I know. You’re like a beautiful wallflower, Ben, but you carry a poison.

Ben Anderson 2:49

Thank you, I think.

Freddie Bennett 2:50

Who knows where you'll sting next.

Ben Anderson 2:55

Yes. I'm Ben, and I've loved doing this podcast with you guys. Because I'm not as many days alcohol-free as you, as you know, from the moderation episode, I've kind of had I've been examining my own relationship with alcohol. Now. I've got some it's tell you later, actually. So we'll talk about that in a bit.

Sharon Hartley 3:09

Are we saving that?

Ben Anderson 3:11

Yeah, well, it’s not cliffhanger. It's just I don't want to be too self-indulgent. That's all.

Sharon Hartley 3:17

I'm looking forward to hearing it whatever this may be.

Ben Anderson 3:21

I can’t believe we’re at episode 10. It's been it's been a pleasure, because also getting to know you guys properly over the course this podcast. It's been lovely.

Sharon Hartley 3:27

It’s brilliant. It really has, and you get to see the insides of our houses as well.

Freddie Bennett 3:33

And Ben, as part of this journey, you've got to see the inside of our souls.

Sharon Hartley 3:37

Inside our what, sorry? Our souls?

Ben Anderson 3:43

Not like me and Freddie have been doing some kind of like secret recording sessions.

Sharon Hartley 3:47

Talking about that, Freddie, when you said you've got to see the inside of our souls, we're going to talk about feedback a bit in this episode and what the listeners have made of it and people we know and people who don't know, one of the recurring themes is that people really enjoy the honesty. And that from the beginning, we've talked about what it's been like to go alcohol-free from day one as honestly as possible. Yes, it can be shite when you're starting out. But equally, we've been really honest in saying that, you know what it's been (and I think I can speak for both of us) as hard as it can be at times, it's been one of the best things we've done and it's been a real privilege to be able to share our stories with the people that are listening and I think they're really appreciated that honesty.

Freddie Bennett 4:29

I know we all said this but one of the key things for me when we started this podcast was about honesty because I use honesty as a weapon to attack fear. God that makes you sound like a politician. Yeah, wow. Sometimes I don’t know where some of this shit comes from. Crikey. I've got a gone deep, straightaway. I'm really giggling all the way through this episode. How many double entendres can I just slip in. Anyway, as I said, I'll try and make a serious deep point. Because, you know, going alcohol-free is so bloody scary. And when I wanted to do it, and I wanted to do it for weeks and months, and theredl be occasions in the, in the years beforehand that I wanted to do it. And then I didn't, because I was so bloody scared of what would happen, how my friends would react, how my body would react, how my life would react. And I hope that by being honest, and by shining a light on it, we can give other people strength, because, as we say so many times and we say on social media as well. Honestly, if we could do it, then anyone can do it. It's not like a superhero movie where we like fell in some radioactive waste and we got these special powers that now means we can say no to a drink. We struggled, we strived, we fell, we stumbled so many times, but we just decided to say enough is enough. And if we can do it, then anybody can, but we have to tell that story honestly to help other people because I think if we're not honest about it, then we're not being true to our listeners and not being true to ourselves. I'll take a breath there. Got on my soapbox very early.

Sharon Hartley 6:19

Yeah, I couldn't agree more with you, Freddie. If we think back to those early episodes where we talked about just getting started ‘Mind the Gap’. What to do, you know, when you're not drinking? And I think it's fair to say when we both set out, you know, crikey, you 500 days ago, me 700. 600 days ago. Sorry. It's torturous. Isn't it in those early days?

Freddie Bennett 6:40

Absolutely. I do love a Freddie metaphor, and I'm really going to try and twist this one, almost, in a way, this podcast journey for me was a bit like the alcohol-free journey. And it is a bit different. Because in starting this podcast, I hadn't almost lost jobs or almost gone to jail or gone to hospital or any of those things. But it was a new journey. We're gonna do so many things in our lives. And everyone does so many things in their lives that are new, and they put those things off, because it's scary. And it's the unknown. And it was always like that with the podcast and, you know, with the journey we've been on in terms of being alcohol free. And we've talked about that alcohol-free confidence that you get, and you think, if I can give up alcohol then maybe I can actually do a podcast as well. And, you know, in those early meetings with background Ben, you were there with your broadcast experience, you're like, Oh, you're going live and what's your mic volume and all those things. I didn't have a clue what I was doing. I was holding the microphone the wrong way. And I was just there thinking, what the hell am I doing? But then I thought actually, no, it's scary at the start just like going alcohol-free. But you take that first step, and you do that first episode, and then you get a bit more strength and you go again, and you go again, and even though it's bloody difficult, and you get things like Coronavirus, turning the world upside down, you can always find the strength to carry on.

Sharon Hartley 8:29

Freddie, I couldn't agree with you more about everything you've just said there about basically being scared at the beginning. You know, we're back remember recording this first episode just we were like, rabbits in the headlights. We were just staring at Ben, going help. It was so funny. What did you say? You know, I'd like to think we've got better and more relaxed over the series. And I think it's really apparent as well, we really, really love and enjoy recording, don't we? Because basically we just get to chat and have a laugh and share our stories for an hour or so. And Ben gets to sit there listening to the majority of it and enjoys it.

You know, we've had some incredible feedback from episode one way back when all those many months ago. And I've just got some here, you know, we have a website, soundrebel.co.uk/overtheinfluence on there. There's a big blue button where you've been able to buy as an alcohol-free beer or buy us a coffee and it's people when they've really enjoyed what they've heard. They've talked a couple of quid into the pot, and it's been really incredible. It's been so cool. And thank you so much. Yeah, I've got some of them here Freddie. And we've got somebody here, just literally says somebody bought you a coffee for Over the Influence. So, it's an anonymous donation, whoever that was from the hearts of our bottoms thank you so much. That is really really kind. Here we go Oh, here we go. There's a little mention for Ben here. Vicki bought as a coffee for Over the Influence. It says great work Shazza and Freddie. And of course, Ben. Not forgetting background, Ben. Thank you for your honesty, keep up the good vibes. And that’s somebody actually, who also took the trouble to email us at overtheinfluence@soundrebel.co.uk. And Vicky says, Can I just share some of this with you?

Ben Anderson 10:24

As long as it says nice things about all of us. And it says we’re lovely… we don't like feedback that’s critical. Only fuel for the ego.

Sharon Hartley 10:35

Yeah, I had to pick this very carefully. Yeah. Really lovely, lovely email of Vicki. And she says that she'd only just come across the pot, the podcast, last weekend. And she's coming up to six months sober after a very long time trying to come to terms with alcohol being a serious problem in her life. She says that my life has changed in six months, and I cannot wait to see what happens. The podcast has helped her in so many ways, and she's binge them over two days. And we said well, that's brilliant, better bingeing on our podcast than all the wine and all the vodka. So, every credit. It's just so good. And she says here Freddie, I have found that the podcast just fits into my life in so many ways, it's bizarre. I can relate to Freddie, because my dad is an Ironman. So, I have been involved in a lot of racing trails and things and she gets me she says, because our stories are just so similar. Thank you all so much for keeping me on track coming up to this milestone. I am more grateful than you know. How brilliant is that?

Freddie Bennett 11:34

That is amazing. Thank you so much. Congratulations on that upcoming milestone. That's absolutely awesome.

Sharon Hartley 11:41

Six months just keep going. Vicki. Not if you're listening, I know you will be listening. Because you love it. Yeah, fantastic.

Ben Anderson 11:48

Shaz, do you mind if I go through some of the reviews we've had on Apple podcasts over the series. Oh, because they're great, because basically, if you've got time, and you've got an Apple phone, if you leave us a review, it just helps Apple take us a bit more seriously and helps us to become more discoverable. So, someone's taking us seriously. Yeah. But if you can leave us a review it would be it'd be lovely. So, this one's from Zen, love this Shazza and Freddie, it is so real honest and funny about the alcohol-free journey. Give it a listen. Well done, guys. Thank you to James Green. This is an inspiring podcast. Looking forward to more – thanks from James. Can't wait for more from Mrs. Rachel Brady, as an off drinker for the last few years, this podcast speaks loudly to me, I had long stints off and then gone back to it only go off it again about 10 times, I love being alcohol-free, but then I think boredom or selective memory creeps in, and I'm back. Anyway, I digress. You guys are fantastic. I love the chatting non-judgmental tone here. I'll be sharing, can't wait for more instalments. So, we've had loads of those. The most recent one being from Zanny20. He gave us five stars. And said they love the moderation episode. They're gonna side with Shazza and Freddie, but it was an interesting debate. Honestly, we love hearing your feedback. So, thank you so much for doing that.

Freddie Bennett 13:06

That's awesome. Thank you so much.

Sharon Hartley 13:09

Thank you absolutely fantastic. Really, really appreciate that feedback.

So this is episode 10. This is the final episode of this series, we are going to take a little break over the alleged summer. Let's hope that the sun comes back out. And we could do fun things fun, sober things in the sun. We will be back with you in September. And we've got some brilliant ideas lined up. And also, we'll talk a little bit more about this in a minute. We want your ideas also. But because we're not here, it doesn't mean that we are going to balls things up. And when we return actually in September, I am going to be two years alcohol free, which just sounds ridiculous. So one piece of advice I would give to you is if you are considering alcohol-free life. First off, there's never ever, ever going to be a right time. Because there just isn't – life just gets in the way. So, if you're thinking I'm going to start next weekend, I'll start after summer. Don't! There will always be something in the diary, there will always be an excuse. So, because there's never a right time, start now and just give yourself a chance. Me and Freddie have talked about honesty and bravery. And I've got to say that the one thing I found going alcohol-free. It's made me braver than I ever thought possible. Give yourself a chance just see where it goes and give yourself minimum 90 days. And don't give a shit what anybody else thinks. Just do it for you and try it and if you don't enjoy it, c’est la vie, but I can guarantee 99%, that yu will and if you're going to start now, let us know and come back to us in September, when we're when we're back recording again, because we would really, really love to hear from you.

Ben Anderson 15:04

This seems like a good time for me to say it. I'm going to do it. I'm gonna start now. That's what I was telling you guys earlier, when I started 2020 went for the 20 days where I was going to have a drink throughout the whole year. And I quite liked that for myself, because I quite like structure. But as you say, there never is a right time. Well, actually, I've decided because I've been listening back through some of the old episodes. And you guys always talk about that three months, the 90 days, yes, that's cropped up so many times. So I've just thought, well, let's do that now. So I'm gonna do 90 days, I'm not gonna do this, I can have one, then I can't have one, then I'm just gonna go for a full three month stint, and then see how I feel at the end of it.

Sharon Hartley 15:42

Brilliant. I'm really excited for you.

Ben Anderson 15:46

Basically, I had stuff like my best mate was getting married. And it was a stag day. So I didn't want to miss out on the partying element. So those, I wanted to have a drink for days, but they both been moved to next year. Now, I was supposed to go on an all-inclusive holiday to Mexico with Gem. But we're not doing that now because we can't fly to Mexico. So actually, the diaries kind of cleared and there isn't anything really apart from going away with the family for a week in August, hopefully.

Sharon Hartley 16:11

You know, you're gonna really, really, really enjoy it all. And that holiday.

Freddie Bennett 16:16

Ben that's awesome.

Ben Anderson 16:18

Cuz I started off the year really well with it. And I think the longest I probably went between having a drinking day was about a month and a half. And I do feel really good. So I think just yeah, three months just in a row, just give it a go. See how it is because I think lockdown has been difficult for everyone in different ways. And it was for me, it was just an excuse to go, well, let's forget that plan. Yeah, no, the world's turned on its head. So, I mean, it’s not like I've been going crazy. But I still been drinking a lot more than I would have wanted to have done. If I'd said if I knew at the start of the year that I would have been doing that I would have been disappointed in myself. So actually, I'm just gonna reset it now and do the full 90 days. So thank you guys for inspiring me.

Sharon Hartley 16:57

Amazing, amazing. In fact, I'm gonna make an executive decision Freddie, right? I know Ben's the producer, background Ben. But I think our first episode back in September, we interview Ben Anderson about his 90 day alcohol-free journey.

Ben Anderson 17:14

I love it. Yeah.

Freddie Bennett 17:17

It’s gonna be like sober Frost Nixon, it's gonna be awesome.

Ben Anderson 17:21

Well, I'm really looking forward to the next series because I mean, you know, we haven't really discussed how much we're going to say about it. But series one has basically been a kind of a good overview of what an alcohol-free journey is like. So if we've listened from episode one all the way through to Episode 10, or if you know someone who probably should then you know, having that binge listened to it gives a really nice overview, but I think for me, some of my favourite bits of this series have been when we talk to Drew in Melbourne. And obviously Sally Wilkinson as well. I think that's what we're kind of planning for series two, isn't it more kind of more of an in-depth interview style, rather than just kind of give me just our experiences or whatnot. It's kind of more of an interview so I’m excited.

Sharon Hartley 18:15

We've got a few irons in the fire or fingers in pies is that what they say?

Ben Anderson 18:20

We're sliding into some DMs of celebrities.

Sharon Hartley 18:23

And sliding right back out.

Ben Anderson 18:27

it's surprising how many sober celebs there are and we are talking to some interesting people so far so from different walks of life as well completely excited about great army guys to musicians to whatever so yeah, it's gonna be cool.

Freddie Bennett 18:41

If all else fails you two can just like go to your mates the BBC and you'll be like oh darling come on the podcast. Oh, cool. I'd love to.

Sharon Hartley 19:04

If you're thinking of dabbling in you know, alcohol free life or you're one of these sober curious people, my advice as I've just said is just jumping. Freddie, over this series is just he's bombarded you with advice and top tips and he's Freddie-isms and he does have to get deep and looks inside himself at times. Freddie, what would your one nugget be? How would you summarise it all if that's possible?

Freddie Bennett 19:32

Blimey, how to summarise all the all the crazy thoughts that go into my head may be a whole new podcast series, but Shazza you said your main bit of advice would be just to jump in and I would say let's say you jump in, but you get burned or you jump in and you hit the bottom and you jump in and you say you got to do this amazing alcohol-free journey, but something done didn't go quite as you planned, either. You jump in, and then you say, oh, no, I've messed up and I've had a drink or you've gone a few months, and then you say, I'm going to treat myself and you end up having a drink. Even I'm almost at 500 days, and I am even now saying to myself, oh, 500, that's quite a nice round number. Maybe it's time to treat myself with just one beer or just one night. And what I'm trying to say is that, like in so many things in life, when we start a journey, things don't always go as we plan, things don't always go away. And if that does happen to you, then don't beat yourself up. Don't say, I always fail at things. Don't say, oh, how everyone else can do this, but I can't. Don't say I'm never going to get it because you absolutely can. Every single person has the power to do this. And sometimes it isn't easy. And yeah, I'm almost at 500 days. But I tried and I failed for years and years and years. And I had so many day ones, and then I failed and then I beat myself up and then I drink more. And then I'd say I can't do this thing.

So if ever, ever anyone tries and it doesn't go their way, then don't beat yourself up, as I say, one of my Freddie isms. If you get a flat tire on your car, you've got a choice, you either fix the problem and you move on, or you go around it your car, and you slash the other three tires just to really mess up your day. And you don't have to do that you can get back on your journey you can move on because none of us are perfect. As I say, I messed up, I failed, I blinked, I failed spectacularly in all sorts of ways. But I've got up again, and I carried on. And if I can do that, then anyone listening to this or any of your friends or any of your family, you absolutely have the power to carry on. And we are going to see you in series two, and I am sure that this time is going to be different. And you will keep going on that journey.

Sharon Hartley 22:02

I couldn't agree more. And if any time, you know you're thinking, this is difficult, I'm struggling. And excuse me for using this term, but I really quite like it: Reach out! Get in touch with us, you can you can find us on social media, we are on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook, just search up Over the Influence and you can send us a private message on there or send us an email overtheinfluence@soundrebel.co.uk. We read all the emails, it’s only myself Freddie and Ben that have access to them. They are private to us here at Over the Influence. And we reply to every single DM we get and every single message and it's really important, I think, to know on this journey, Freddie, that you're not alone. And actually, there's an incredible sober community out there isn't there. But until you join it, and until you make those first steps you really don't know. But once you've done it, and you realise that you're not on your own, there's a whole new world sort of waiting for you and a tonne of you sober friends, something I never thought I would ever ever say. And so yeah, do get in touch. And let us know what you might like to hear on the second series of the podcast.

Freddie Bennett 23:17

You’re going to have to come back to me now because now you've started something and it's the final episode. So I've got to go on a bit of a rant now. And what I was saying about you know, if you start and you fall and you fail and you stumble, then pick yourself back up again. And that's absolutely something I believe, but here's something that so many people don't realise, it’s worth it to take a second now just to shine a light on it. 90% of people who drink and drink a lot, don't even think about it. They don't even think about changing their relationship with alcohol. They just think my life sucks a bit and this is the way it has to be, and anyone listening to this anyone who has ever, ever thought about changing it and it was ever even considering stepping forward and taking that step into changing their habits of alcohol that makes you already amazing. And you know, let's forget about the whole like 90 days, 100 days, 500 days 1000 days, the fact that anyone is thinking I can do this I've got that power inside me to do something differently and that even considering it in my opinion that makes you dear listener pretty damn amazing. Hear hear. Okay, a bit too serious.

Sharon Hartley 24:35

I love it. I love it. It's great to watch as well Ben.

Ben Anderson 24:40

It’s like he goes into a different world, isn't it?

Freddie Bennett 24:44

My eyes glaze over. I blacked out for a second.

Ben Anderson 24:50

But no, you guys have inspired me, so thank you.

Sharon Hartley 24:56

Really proud. That's fantastic.

Freddie Bennett 24:59

I didn’t want to say, but does this technically mean that Shazza did win the debate? I don’t want to go there again as I’ve still got the scars!

Ben Anderson 25:25

Look, guys, there's nothing else to say apart from, nice one, see you next series!

Sharon Hartley 25:29

It's been a joy. It's been an absolute joy. It's been so enjoyable and Freddie, who'd have thunk it, all these, you know, months and months ago that the three of us will be sitting here, sharing the sordid details of our alcohol-free journey and loving every minute.

Freddie Bennett 25:44

I know. And you know what I was, I was almost about to get a little bit emotional there because I was thinking exactly the same thing. And not only the start of this series, and this little gem of an idea the three of us had all that time ago, but even I mean, what, two years ago, I that's not that long ago, 480 odd days ago, I could never ever imagine that I would be here. And to be able to talk to 1000s of people around the world and actually string a sentence together that maybe people might want to listen to, and to be in that position from gutters, and all sorts of other horrible places that I was probably both mentally and physically is something that's amazing. And this has been one of the highlights of my alcohol-free journey.

Sharon Hartley 26:34

Oh, Freddie.

Freddie Bennett 26:36

I'll tell you all these hardened broadcasters are like come on, get on with the show!

Sharon Hartley 26:47

I’d like to say a huge thank you again, basically to you for listening. Because without you listening, you know, it's pointless us doing what we're doing. So thank you for that. And if you have taken the trouble to visit our website, and just chuck a couple of quid into our pot, it means the world, so thank you so much. And yeah, just thank you. We really, really appreciate it and keep in touch with us and let us know what you're up to.

Freddie Bennett 27:10

Thank you so much for all your support and all your listenership is absolutely amazing. And yes, I do not know if listenership is a real word.

Unknown Speaker 27:21

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