Dearly beloved, what the fuck? Move!

Nov 27, 2020, 04:43 AM
The little boy is in tree at the bottom of Juniper’s staircase. “Hey girl. Remember me? I’ve come back to say goodbye. I was pissy, you see. I wanted a fair game. I don’t like the kind of kids that walk away without some kind of see you later. I don’t care if you’re lying. You’re a liar! It’s all a game.” I see right through the smoke and I’m yelling fire at the top of my lungs. My neighbors are talking shit. I’m too loud for the deathly silence that lives here. I want to run upstairs and pour out my cup of love all over the freshly mopped floor of the sassy lady hovering over me. I think she’s too cute for this fucking place. I want to run away with her. She wants to tell me the truth. But she doesn’t know where she left the words. She’s explaining it to herself over and over again. Who is this boy? What right have I? Where did I leave the key to these lips of mine. They seemed to be glued shut. He stares straight through my skin. I say something quick to shut him up and run back home. I slam the door and scream. He wasn’t even speaking. Why did it feel like yelling? Why can’t I tell him what my body is begging for? I want her arms around me. I want to know what isn’t shown. I prefer the tough girls who act rough on the surface. I don’t trust niceties. I don’t like pleasantness that doesn’t show it’s other sides. Just tell me your fucking truth! What’s the point of loving me otherwise! Don’t you want to love me! Why am I yelling? No one is here but me. She loves me. She loves me not. If I’m stuck in-between, it must be a test. Will I be brave enough to choose with wisdom? Will I pick the loveless victim? Will I wage war with a Capricorn? I don’t want to be brought down to earth! I don’t want to see things your way. I want to be held. I want to hold. I want to go home. Are you home yet? Are you watching me? If I gave you everything, would you fight to keep me by your side? I don’t want to be blindsided again. I don’t want to be ignored. I don’t want the word love. Come up with another way of convincing me. I don’t want to be convinced. I don’t want to be questioning. I want to be certain and at peace, in your arms. Have you ever held a woman this way? Have you been scheming? Have you been defending my name? Have you forgotten what to call me? You cheated. I don’t want to play with my love anymore. I am letting her change human form. I am watching her remold herself. I am weeping in this dark room. I am cold. I am hungry. I am alone. I am needing love to return. I am begging my heart to find courage. We must go forward. We have been walking this way without a single step taken for too long. Its time to make a move babygirl, I’m trusting you to take the first one. First, I let her voice go. I let the ING stick in the back of her throat for the last time. I translate. The new language is babble at first. Then another voice finds its way to my gaze. Don’t call me love unless you mean it! I scream. She stares. She says I must let the rest of the body go in order to see her clearly. The thighs walk away. I am crawling to the door. My love takes grip of my waist and begs me to still myself. “I will not let her go! I cannot remember. Please, help me my love! Don’t let these imagined frames leave the back of my eyelids. I want the mouth to remain open, drooling, sleepy, innocently pouting, smirking bobbing rocking rolling. Please! Stop stealing these memories.” She tightens her grasp and pulls me back into her lap. She sets her chin sit on my shoulder and tells me not to wipe the tears away. “Let them dry on their own. They will know when its time to calm down. You will rest. This is not a robbery. You will carry her until she is strong enough to take another shape. Your love will remain. I’m not going anywhere babyboy. Listen to me breathe you. I have found another body for you to memorize me in. But I cannot show her to you until you stop begging. You are not waiting on me to return. I have been here the entire time. You are waiting with time. You are sinking into one moment. There is nothing behind. Step forward little soldier. This is all it takes. I’ve already set the scene. Your throne waits for you and you alone. Your Queen will not question her desire to stay. You will overwhelm every nerve in her physical form. It’s been a while. I know you’re fearless, but this is going to be terrifying.” She wraps a hemp rope around me from behind and gags my mouth. “Bite down. Sing this aloud with me; a mantra of sorts, something to be grateful for. Dearly beloved, what the fuck? Are you waiting for me? Honesty is the only way into my heart baby. Gather your weapons and release your aggressive tendencies on my physical form. I’m tired of waiting. I sick of praying on hands and knees. I want everything. Move! Run away with me.”