You don’t have to know anything for certain. Its all already known. You are full of regret and shame. But that is because you are so sick babygirl. Because you wake up everyday and choose to play in this shit, over and over again. Because you look your spirit dead in the eyes and refuse to let your body walk toward me. You are terrified! You think my powers have grown in such a way that you’ll never reach me again, no matter how close you let your skin. It’s okay to be afraid of the unknown. It’s okay to be scared to death in a leap of faith. Just so long as you take it. The fear will dissipate, as soon as our bodies touch. When they let go, it will return. My hands force themselves to stretch toward you, again. I’m so fucking scared. I don’t want my heart to know that pain! Again, my fingers find the back of your neck. I am wild-eyed and childlike and scared of nothing. I remember a lifetime in the woods with you running by my side. I remember the fight you swore to take on for my body’s safety. I couldn’t write of this war at first. It seemed like retreat. It seemed like you never knew a love like mine. It looked like shame. I couldn’t carry yours without reflecting it. It looked like running away. I looked up and I was alone in a field of gold, abandoned by the only army I had ever believed in. Bleeding out in hopes of dying. Screaming into nothingness. I saw the enemy approaching. I saw the caravan they were wheeling behind. They had taken you prisoner. I rose to heights they could only dream of. I ran to the darkening woods, behind the open playing field. The sun saw me flea and turned the world into everlasting night. She is fucking livid, she doesn’t like when people fuck with me. I am the Prince of light. I worship her and she protects me. I weep in the absence of my love. I plot and scheme. I write the greatest story ever told. I lick my wounds. I heal. I rise. She shivers to think of the next move I’ll make. Her captivity has turned her to face me as energy unknown. She vows revenge for the decisions she’s made. She mounts a stallion and rides to my cave. She cannot stand to be left out. She needs to know everything. She tries to make sense of my majesty. The woods are lit up; millions of fairies have been guarding me. She remembers what she left behind. The fairies form a wall from the center of earth to the tip of the universe and refuse her entrance. She is afraid again. She is caught up in the details. Her costume is wrong; she was deceived. She was riding against the only boy she ever truly loved. She was made to believe a dream was reality. She was forced to work to death. She was forced to close her lips when she screamed. She was forced to speak. She tries to leave. But her horse is tired of playing against fate. Her twin flame is waiting in a holy place. It is time for her to let love back in. Her throne awaits his skin. His skin awaits her presence. She steadies the beast and begins to sing. “Once upon a time there was a Little Prince. I gave him my heart. He tried to wake me up from this nightmare. He had no way of holding back his desire to save me. He watched me starve and curled a ball at me feet. I couldn’t believe that a Prince could be so weak. I was comfortable in this dark dream. He drew chubby stars above me to remind me. But I still forgot. I left him in the woods to rot. In my absence, he became King of all living things. I have awakened. I am alive my love, but I am not well. I need my spirit to guide be blindly. I can’t see anything in this hell! I think someone took the sun away. But I know I must ride to you. I know I will heal. I know am Queen. I know I belong to you. I am coming in whether or not I’m ripped to shreds by your fairies. I am naked. I couldn’t decide what to wear. Don’t deny me again. This is all the strength that I have left.”
The fairies form a rainbow on the forest floor. They light the way to my door. She holds Juniper tight and stares at an elephant in the eyes. He’s blocking the entrance. She’s having second thoughts. She’s thinking too fucking much! She lifts her fists to fight. I open the door to walk with the moon. I cannot believe my eyes. I no longer trust my sense of sight. It has fooled me before. I cry. There is nothing else I’d rather do tonight. I only want to sit with time. She steps inside and leans her bike by mine. “Hi.”
“I may be out of my mind. But I had a wild idea. That if your skin meet mine, this world would cease to exist. All of the shame and fear would seep out the bottom of our naked feet and dissipate in the winds that sing through these caves. Its cold, I know. And you are weak. I am guarded. But I am not afraid. If you are brave enough to come to my body, I will let down my defenses. But only for this moon, I have an entire Kingdom to save. I cannot wait anymore. I cannot move. It must be you.