A Child’s Laughter on Placid Waters

Apr 21, 04:12 AM
A child’s laughter on placid waters ripples silently. I remember the last word you said to me. You were lying. I was begging for honesty. But you were already dying for the truth to be revealed. You’d just forgotten how to speak. I’m not afraid when you sneak up on me. In the woods the earth echoes, your love is calling. I’m watching a stork dip her toes in the waves. The kids are talking of reaching the other side. They are certain of their strength. They fear only the changing winds. She’s flying. I part my lips for you. The setting sun paints my throat. You are nowhere to be found, and we’re so close to home. I shall go without you. The woods breathe differently at night. They begin to scream as if the sun may never return. The scent is a deep longing. I know this word. It is indefinable. But the effort must be made. Create: the need to say it aloud to only you. Your love is resounding. You carry on conversation casually as if the two of you were never torn apart. She is learning to trust your body. You are falling in love. She’s got a thing for your boyish charm. You’ve got her stuck in your guts and wrapped around your mouth. She’s inside of you. I’m never coming out, she taunts, vicariously through me. I insist that you pay attention. This is where the truth comes out. I live in castle in the mountains. Everyone here calls me sir. I look up a tree and giggle, smiley girlishly, and curtsy; they don’t know I am King. I prefer to stay hidden in plane sight. Sometimes I stick my tongue out, to make them run away. I don’t like the people in this place. They’ve learned a nasty way of speaking of life. They call it death aloud. And move in this way. Their eyes are bloodshot and they’re bleeding from both ears. They are crying without tears. They are living in fear. Fear that isn’t even theirs. Fear that was stuffed into their skin without permission the day they were taught to obey. The day they were robbed of their imagination, they were robbed of living. They fell asleep on time, the next day they forgot everything. They don’t dream. Mostly I scream and run away when they try to engage. I’m not the ruling type. This fate was bestowed on me. I use it to create. I barricade myself in a mental state that no one dares to reach. I hide in high altitudes. No one wants the inconvenience of sipping on thin air the way that I do. So I have the entire Kingdom to myself. I close the castle gates and let in only the few that remain living. My love is awaiting me patiently. She’s given me the river. She’s set me on a mountainside. She’s tied two thick strands of hemp to the head bedposts. My tender writs are always cuffed, tiny blue veins push against the restraints. I feel my heart beating against her skin and I haven’t even known her yet. I know what I need. I need the night. I need the silenced dream. I need the people sleeping, slipping past me. I need to go unnoticed. I need to be nameless. I need to sing! I need my body, safe and strong. I need my love. I need you. I am not without faith, baby. I know you are coming. I am not impatient; I will wait. I am not in need of another’s knowledge. I know my fate. I know your face will be unrecognizable. I will still know you. I have yet to doubt the voce inside of you. Say what you mean! Say what you like! Nothing else is worthy. Give this silent night the justice that she deserves. Tell her you are sure. Tell her you are wanting. What are you waiting for? If you need to be heard, than speak! If you want to take, than reach! Time is slipping away because you are choosing everyday to be without your love. You cannot stand the feeling! You cannot sit with it sober. You cannot rest in it without thinking of another, speaking of another, preparing for what’s to come. You’re screaming for what lies behind. But baby, nothing is coming that isn’t here already. Can you not feel every moment at the same time? Be still, listen; they are all here. What you are aching for has not come and gone. I was given. Here is where I am. My love is by your side always. Hold your body still with your own touch. I will never see you again, for there is no future to plan. I am here now. Are you listening! Do you hear my voice? Can you feel my hands wrapping around your waist? Are you waiting for an explanation? I have no intentions. Explain it to yourself! It’s ugly. Everybody wants to look pretty. I live alone in a castle in the sky. Everyone dies. Souls are stolen through screens and used to move machines in the night sky. Everyone wants to be skinny. You are skin and bones. I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop writing. I want to write until my hand falls off. I want to write through every night. I am so lonely when she’s not creating herself through me. Aren’t you? Are you afraid of what lives inside your own body? Horrifying, isn’t it?