Hello everyone and Welcome to another
episode of Selling Greenville your
favorite real estate podcast here in
Greenville, South Carolina, I'm your host
as always Stan McCune realtor right here
in the Greenville area and you can find
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this show on
and today we are going to be talking
about real estate and family this is
going to be
a little bit of a of a different
topic and it's just something that has
kind of been on my mind lately for
just a variety of reasons
if you're watching this show
I'm not going to be doing any sort of
screen sharing in this episode on
YouTube so you can just watch and
and enjoy my shiny microphone that that
changes all these different colors while
I'm talking
or you can just minimize and just
listen to it however you want to do it
but oh and by the way I should
mention I'm recording this towards
the end of March
I'm not entirely sure when I'm going to
air this this may end up airing a little
bit later so if I end up changing things
if I end up changing my my video
equipment we may kind of find that
I dial back the clock at some point and
and air this after I've already
changed some things I I don't exactly
know about any of that so just
keep that in mind if it looks like we
have gone back to a worse quality of
video that's what's happened
because there's a good chance I don't
air this for for several more weeks
but I want to talk about real
estate and family because
specifically extended family are
oftentimes involved in real estate
transactions and for good reason there
is a need a need for family
involvement a need for family
consideration and at the end of the day
purchasing a home is an intensely
personal and emotional thing that's
something that I have seen over and over
again and a lot of people don't fully
appreciate just how personal and
emotional it is to purchase real
estate when they're going into a real
estate transaction like they just don't
it's just not uncommon for people to not
fully understand that when they start
the process and I've actually had some
clients over the years that have
actually found themselves surprised by
just how emotional the process was for
them particularly if you're selling a
home and then buying a home that that
particularly tends to result in in it
being a more personal transaction
yeah
so as such it's not uncommon for family
to be involved after all family whether
it's parents siblings cousins Etc
are oftentimes if if not the primary
emotional safety net one of the main
emotional safety nets for many people
additionally obviously most people
intend to host family at their home at
some point whether for meals or holidays
for entire weeks or weekends whatever
the case may be and in some cases people
may purchase a property with a primary
consideration being that their parents
might have to move up in with them at
some point of course we see I see
that all the time as well now before I
go any further into this I want to be
very clear about something because I
could find myself in hot water very
quickly with this episode I want to say
right off the bat that this episode is
not about any one individual or any
multiple individuals I'm very
conscientious whenever I get into past
experiences I never say anything
disparaging about a client or anything
negative about a client a specific
client because a that client may be
listening and secondly B I appreciate
all of my clients even even the
difficult ones
even the ones that that make me
lose sleep at night
and that appreciation drives me
to have no desire to call out any of
them particularly on this show this show
is designed to be positive it's designed
to be helpful I'm not trying to ever
call out anyone on here so any
conclusions I draw or opinions I give in
this episode is about what I've seen in
aggregate including from other Realtors
okay if you think I'm talking
specifically about you or specifically
about one other person I'm not I'm
talking about what I've seen over the
years through hundreds of real estate
transactions these are trends that I
have seen and so please please keep that
in mind
and so with that in mind we're going to
jump right into I have five things
and and I need to craft exactly what I'm
going to call this but basically
five Do's or don'ts
with regard to involving family in
real estate and number one
you need to understand that involving
your parents in the decision-making
process of a real estate transaction is
likely to Cloud your judgment understand
that involving your parents and the
decision-making process of a real estate
transaction is likely to Cloud your
judgment now this is primarily for
first-time homebuyers or or younger home
buyers but I have seen parents involved
in transactions for people in their
late 30s they're asking for their
parents input on different things I've
seen it for people in their 40s again
I'm not calling out any one person I
have seen a wide spectrum of this and
I've heard stories from people a wide
spectrum of this
now you may have thought when you
heard that point
wow that's a strong statement like
involving parents is likely to cloud
my judgment I'm gonna take it a step
further okay in my seven plus years of
real estate parenteral involvement in a
real estate transaction has been a net
negative a net negative more often than
not parental involvement does not help
again if you think I'm calling anyone
specifically out I'm not I've just I've
seen this dozens if not hundreds of
times and can't come up with a scenario
where I genuinely feel like parents have
have overall helped their children from
my vantage point now I'll explain why in
a moment but before I go any further I
want to say this because again I have to
hedge things here
this is not I'm I'm not telling
people they should not involve their
their parents
and particularly with me having
these strong opinions just because I've
seen this in the past I'm not telling
you that okay cut your parents out from
your real estate transactions don't
involve them you know no that's not what
I'm saying it might actually be more
important to you to have your parents
involved in your real estate transaction
and to make what appears to be an
irrational decision because you're
listening to your parents than it is for
you to make a decision without them that
from the outside looking in looks like
the better decision it might be better
to make the irrational decision for you
for you it may be better to make the
irrational decision that's fueled by
your relationship with your parents than
to make what appears to be the more
rational decision that is absent your
parents
one thing I can't gauge as a realtor is
all of the emotional and familial facets
of a home purchase and one thing I talk
about frequently with my clients and I
mentioned on this podcast a few times is
the sleep at night test will you
sleep at night better knowing that you
made an offer or that you didn't will
you sleep at night better knowing that
you went up on your offer price or
that you stayed Pat will you sleep
better at night knowing that you backed
out or moved forward with a transaction
knowing that there were major issues
with the home that were discovered
during your inspections that sleep at
night test is really really important
and it's not necessarily logical
how well do you sleep at night knowing
that you're making
X or Y decision in real estate I have
learned that that is more important than
whether
the people that are are making that
decision are making a rational decision
because listen you can make the most
rational decision in the world
but it not sit well with you and you
will forever be second guessing that for
as long as you're in that house you will
forever be second guessing that wishing
you hadn't done that and it doesn't
matter it does not matter whether
whether the decision made perfect sense
if you're just going to keep second
guessing that that's going to take off
years from your life that's going to
cause you to not enjoy life that's going
to cause you to lose sleep it is not
worth it and so that can be the case
with involving your parents if you
wouldn't sleep if you won't sleep well
at night without involving your
parents then you need to involve them if
you won't sleep well at night going
against your parents wishes and going
against their opinions then you
shouldn't go against their opinions it's
literally that simple and the sleep at
night test it isn't logical and it
doesn't have to be at the end of the day
if you're like I've already said if
you're not happy with your house no
logical argument for why why you should
have purchased it will bring you that
happiness it just won't happen I've seen
this over and over again and for some
that just means involving parents in
some aspect of a transaction and there
is nothing wrong with that so I want to
hedge all of that I want to make sure
that you guys understand
that there is a lot more to a real
estate transaction than just the
rational than just the logical all of
that there is a big emotional side and
and I absolutely 100 respect that
but
me as a realtor one of my main goals is
to eliminate to help people to eliminate
as much emotion out of a real estate
transaction as possible the emotion is
good but it quickly gets out of hand
actually recently when we did that
chat GPT episode it was interesting that
that software referenced at one point
having too much emotion in a real estate
transaction I can't remember exactly
what it said but it gave a very
interesting response and I found that
found that to be fascinating that its
algorithm detected that there tends to
be too much emotion in a real estate
transaction and
and that is true I want to avoid
as much emotion as I can because there's
already going to be heightened emotion
so I need to be the voice of reason
unfortunately what will sometimes happen
when there are parents involved is that
pits me against the parent and that's
never a fun spot for me to be in because
I I'm not going to win against the
parents nor do I want to I don't want to
be against anyone's parents at the end
of the day
so that's just something to to keep in
mind is that all of these emotional
things they're good they're normal
but they're you you do need to also
recognize that sometimes there there can
be too much but
at the end of the day if you're not
sleeping well or if you won't sleep well
at night making a decision that's where
you know that's where you draw the line
there's there's enough emotion you're
emotionally invested enough in whatever
decision it is that you're making or
think or second guessing potentially
that you need to act on that emotion
and for some that might mean
listening to their parents or involving
their parents or whatever the case may
be but
okay I've been hedging all of this up to
this point but
if you are if all of this
is you looking for Parental approval
on your home purchase I've got really
bad news
you are not gonna get it
I mean could there be the one percent of
people out there that are going to
involve their parents and get their
parental approvement on on their real
estate choices sure
but guess what everyone thinks they're
in the one percent when it comes to this
everyone thinks that their parents are
going to be the ones that that approve
that are going to be helpful and guess
what 99 of them are wrong
in fact whenever I have a client that
opts to take their parents with them to
look at a home it's a running joke with
me with other Realtors
basically that's a guarantee that
they're not going to buy the house
because the parents are going to nitpick
everything they're going to raise
questionable concerns I've had I've been
in situations where there have been some
that just completely make make
things up they go into a house they're
like oh there's mold here and the
ceiling's collapsing and and the roof is
shot and it's just like okay none of
these things are accurate they're
looking at the seller's disclosure
raising concerns
without without asking me my opinion
and that
invariably I mean I don't know what the
percentage is but it's very close to 100
of the time that when parents are
involved at the beginning when when
they get involved in the real estate
transaction the real estate transaction
is over they they are not going to to
support and provide approval for what
their children is doing now that might
sound harsh but there's actually a
logical component to this okay
first parents typically want what's best
for their kids and so when they see what
their kids can afford and how big of a
gap it is from what the wealthier
parents can afford it's painful it is
painful you don't want to be a wealthy
parent and see your kid trying to you
know
Blaze their own trail and you know
they've got their you know account
executive position that is barely
they're barely able to afford rent and
they're they're finally trying to break
the rent cycle they're buying their
first home and that first home is just a
Shack in comparison to the home that the
parents are in and you know the parents
of course are just like I mean you could
just live with us why don't you just
live with us it would be you would have
this massive kitchen and and we've got
such a a wonderful guest Suite that you
could stay in and it's painful it's
painful for parents so often to see
their kids have to have to make those
sacrifices to go out on their own
and so I've seen that over and over and
over again also frequently parents don't
understand how much the real estate
market has changed in recent years they
think about you know when they purchase
their last home may have been
three years ago may have been five years
ago may have been ten fifteen twenty
Thirty forty years ago and they think
you know like I already said this place
is a shack compared to my house and I
paid 150 000 from my house when I bought
it just 10 years ago it's hard to come
to grips with the fact that the market
has changed a ton and housing
affordability is far less than it was
just a few years ago
parents have I I've again I've seen this
over and over again it's really hard for
parents to come to grips with that
reality that the market is just
different they they just think the
market just stays the same and that
their kids will be able to afford what
they were able to afford no housing
affordability has gone down every month
we look at the gjr market stats and we
track the housing affordability index it
was over a hundred for
the entire history that that has been
tracked until the past three years and
it's in the 80s now it got into the 70s
housing affordability is less in
Greenville than it was a few years ago
that's just the reality of the situation
but parents they they don't want to come
to grips with that also
consider this a typical 55 to 75 year
old parent has probably bought four to
five houses over the past 30 to 40 years
now here's what that means this will
make them believe that they have a lot
to offer from from the standpoint of
real estate experience but the reality
is that a real estate experience that
they had from 10 years ago
is that often particularly valuable and
the further back you go the less
valuable it is real estate changes a
lifespan in a decade and I mean it's the
it's not even comparable not to mention
that you oftentimes have have parents
that have bought these four to five
houses or the over the past 30 to 40
years oftentimes those were in different
areas real estate is different in
different areas we've talked about this
this show selling Greenville this is a
Greenville show when I speak about the
real estate market unless I say that I'm
talking about a national Trend I'm just
talking about Greenville I will have I
have listeners from other states from
other countries that the real estate
market is completely different when they
are where they are
and so you've got parents that have all
of these different experiences that they
think speak into what their kid is
trying to do and oftentimes it really
doesn't compare
I spoke to a realtor recently who
said his first closing 30 years ago was
a verbal contract that would be
Unthinkable now a verbal contract day
one of Real Estate School Is that real
estate has been for I don't know it's
like four or five hundred years now has
been basically coming from out of the
United Kingdom what not has been
Unwritten contracts but just 30 years
ago in South Carolina it wasn't uncommon
for people to buy and sell homes on
verbal contracts which are are not
contracts at all that's Unthinkable now
it would it would not happen contracts
are always written contracts on real
estate in South Carolina
and granted you know you could have a
family member or that that they have
some kind of a verbal agreement whatever
I would not recommend that
particularly with family you need to
have everything in writing because
that's where things get messy
which we'll talk a little bit more
about as we as we go on but what
happens is parents tend to believe that
they have this broad range of experience
right fed four to five homes that I've
lived in over the course of 40 years in
multiple States like that's a broad base
of experience to to pull from right no
actually it's quite narrow because it
doesn't compare to the real estate
market right now in the Greenville South
Carolina region it does not compare
and the concerns the pitfalls the
issues that they experienced are are
oftentimes just going to be anecdotal or
completely irrelevant to today's real
estate climate in the Greenville area
again I'm not telling you not to involve
your parents I'm not telling parents not
to be involved but but we need to put
context
around their involvement okay
but
at the end of the day when I deal with
parents I always respect them and their
opinion me as a realtor okay they will
think that their experience from the
four to five transactions they've had
over the course of 40 years is more
valuable than the hundreds of
transactions that I have been a part of
over the past seven plus years and even
though I would obviously disagree with
that it doesn't matter
it doesn't matter if my clients are
involved with their parents and and are
involving their parents in their real
estate transaction then I consider the
parents to be an extension of my clients
but for those of you listening who would
consider getting your parents involved
you need to understand that doing so may
Cloud your judgment because your parents
past experience combined with their
present desires for you they want the
best for you right their present desires
combined with their past experience may
not align with the reality of what you
need and what the current real estate
market looks like
and when that happens they're going to
give you advice that isn't
isn't rational and that may actually in
the end not be in your best interest
even if it is intended to be in your
best interest and so
I'm not saying don't involve them I'm
just saying it may Cloud your judgment
you need to be aware of that and if you
think that you're one of the one percent
that
that won't happen to understand that 99
of people inaccurately think that
they're part of the one percent every
single person who involves their parents
believe that they're a part of that one
percent and 99 of them are wrong
and I don't want to be harsh I just
want to call a spade a spade when it
comes to parental involvement
all right that is point number one
that's by far my longest point I think
the rest of these will go will go a
bit quicker Point number two focus on
your needs not the perceived needs of
family members this is really important
too often I've seen people sacrifice
what they need in order to find
something that accommodates their
their parents their grandparents
their nieces and nephews their other
relatives whatever the case may be this
can mean buying a house
in an area that they wouldn't normally
Buy in but that is best for certain
members of the family or buying a
certain type of house that they wouldn't
otherwise or even buying something
larger and more expensive than they need
for their family in order to accommodate
occasional family stays or perhaps
semi-permanent family stays
now there's an obvious balance that we
need to strike you can't completely
ignore broader family needs and I'm not
suggesting that you do that but what
I've seen too often is that people end
up when when they're focused so much on
outside members of their family parents
grandparents siblings you name it
oftentimes they end up compromising on
the home purchase
from the standpoint of helping their own
family me my wife my kids you your
spouse or future spouse or whatever your
kids whatever the case may be and at the
end of the day they'll make compromises
that that hurt you
you'll make compromises that hurt you
and sadly very often that compromise
still isn't enough for the family member
that you're trying to help and it isn't
and you don't end up getting what you
would want as the home buyer all right
let's give an example
let's say that you're in an area that
makes you the most logical host for
Family reunions just an example and even
though family reunions don't happen very
often you make that an essential part of
your search criteria you need a house
that can accommodate the occasional
family reunion
so you make sure you're searching for
homes with several bedrooms more than
your family needs
a home with a long driveway private
guest bathrooms Etc
but in the process you have to give up
some of what you really want such as I
don't know acreage a non-hoa community
perhaps you have to go higher on the
price than you would prefer because now
you're having to buy more home than it
is that that you actually need for
your family
now unfortunately here is what I've seen
over and over again the perceived needs
of the extended family
oftentimes end up not being accurate and
this is the worst part right what you
end up sacrificing for your immediate
family for your spouse for your children
what you need 365 days out of the
year
and those sacrifices ended up end up
being for an incorrectly perceived need
of family and for family that might only
be there for a couple of weeks my phone
is going off and I don't know why oh I
know why
one second why I fix this
okay sorry about that
I was on a roll there too
all right so
so you have perceived needs for
for your family
and unfortunately I've seen over and
over again that those perceived needs
they're not like completely off but
they're off just enough your brother for
instance ends up having more kids than
you thought he and his wife would have
and now you don't have enough bedrooms
you got more bedrooms than you need and
it's not enough because your siblings
kept having kids
your grandmother gets bad arthritis in
her knees and now she struggles to
access the upstairs guest Suite that you
intended for her your mom doesn't like
the neighborhood that you're in because
she's used to being more spread out
you know more out in the country
whatever the case may be the man cave
that that you have that you thought
would be great for the kids actually is
in a terrible place for the nieces and
nephews they cause it echoes when
they're running around that Echoes
throughout the house and nobody enjoys
it and everyone gets angry and it just
ends up being an issue
these are the types of things that I've
seen over and over and over again and
like I said I'm not specifically calling
any anyone out here this is just
generally speaking what I've seen these
examples I've tried to be as facetious
and as fictional with these examples
as I could be because there's a
gazillion of them that I could so I've
tried not to use any specific examples
that I've run into but it's not hard
to come up with pretty obvious examples
of things my personal opinion
why not pay less particularly when when
it comes to like family reunion kind of
things and and hosting people for like
longer periods of time pay less
get the the smaller house that fits your
family's needs and then use the money
that you're saving by getting the
smaller house to rent an Airbnb when
family comes into town you can even a
big enough Airbnb that you and your
family can stay there so that everyone
is together or better yet use your cost
savings to buy an investment property
that you then can use to host family
even a better idea
now don't throw the baby out with the
bathwater obviously consideration for
hosting family and friends is an
important consideration for many where
people run into issues is when they are
sacrificing what they want in order to
get something that will accommodate
family and the worst situations I've
seen this backfire to the point that
people overspend and end up not even
being able to afford the home long term
because they bought more home than they
needed in order to help their family
they got behind on their mortgage
payments their taxes all of these
different things and now they're in a
situation where they have to move
because they bought more house than they
could afford because they were trying to
help out their family I've I have seen
instances of this type of thing happen
with multiple people over the years even
before I became a realtor
and it no it's just an awful
situation when that goes down please
don't be don't be one of those people
prioritize your family first strike that
delicate balance between
also prioritizing your extended family
but but don't prioritize your extended
family over your own family you will
regret it
number three
shifting from the first two are a
little bit negative shifting to
something a little bit more positive
don't feel bad to ask close relatives
for financial assistance when buying a
home the times that I have seen Family
Help the most is not when they're going
to a home and looking in the Attic you
know we see this all the time dad goes
to the home he's got to look into the
attic he thinks he's an inspector he's
running all the faucets you know it I I
mean it is it's classic he's crawling
around in the crawl space Oh I think
there's termites in here
you know again every dad thinks that
he's an inspector listen I'm I'm sure
when I'm older with my children I
will act the same way it's inevitable I
have never seen that be particularly
helpful for any of my clients maybe they
thought it was helpful but me I kept my
opinions to myself again out of respect
for their parents but where I have seen
parents and grandparents be the most
helpful is when they're able to provide
financial assistance in most mortgages
most loan programs allow for this that
children or grandchildren can receive
gift from funds from parents or
grandparents to assist with closing
costs or down payments this is a great
way if you want to help out your kids
this is the way to do it help them by
providing them gift funds and it doesn't
have to be it's not like it's called
gift funds but they can pay you back so
it's not as if you know you're just
giving them this money and it's like
well it's gone you could structure it so
that they have to pay you back in fact
some of the best ways I've seen this
work is if someone is is moving their
family from one house to another they
want they need to sell the house they're
moving out of
but they want to buy their next house
first and so parents provide gift funds
on a very short-term basis to help them
purchase their this next house and then
they sell the house that they're moving
out of and then they pay the parents
back I've seen this happen it works
really really well when that happens
but different loan programs they have
different rules but generally speaking
when someone is buying a house that
they intend to own or occupy they can
receive money at closing from close
relatives to help them make the purchase
and I've seen that work really
really well over and over again and by
the way parents can also I don't know
about Grandparents again I'm not a loan
officer so I have some limitations in
terms of all the nitty-gritty with this
but I would assume grandparents probably
to a certain extent as well depending on
their income situation can act as a
guarantor on a mortgage this is also a
great way to help your kids
oftentimes parents have to act as a
guarantor for their children when they
buy their first car this can also be the
case when they buy their first house and
this can be of great help to someone
making a home purchase that they
otherwise couldn't afford If the parents
prefer not to be on the loan long term
which I can understand and if the
assumption is that the buyers will
continue to build credit and and and
income the the children will continue to
build credit and income for years to
come then the goal could be for in a
year or two to refinance and get the
parents off the loan so that's a way to
to handle that as well so that is a a
really that that financial piece is a
way that parents can be extremely
helpful when when trying to assist
their children to be able to purchase a
home
number four
be wary when working with relatives who
are real estate professionals I had to
say this I had to say this because I'm a
real estate professional and you know
how often
well you don't know but let's just say I
frequently deal with with other Realtors
who are relatives of the buyer or the
seller on the other side of the table
and
let me just say this most Realtors loan
officers and the like start by building
their business with family members now
me
the only family I have in Greenville
is my cousin I only have three first
cousins one of them moved to the
Greenville area a few years ago shout
out to Kelly she is my only she's my
closest relative here in the upstate of
South Carolina
and so I've had to build my real
estate business essentially without any
family
and although I'm grateful to have
been able to help my cousin and and I
did get a referral commission from my
parents when they sold their last home
recently
unlike a lot of Realtors and loan
officers I've not had the benefit of
building my business with relatives
because I didn't I'm not from Greenville
originally people that are from the
Greenville area that get into real
estate they have a massive leg up and
good for them I'm not jealous of them
I'm I'm proud of how I built this
business
by the way I mentioned referral
commission
if you're moving here from out of
state and a lot of my listeners are
potentially doing that
I can receive a referral commission
from whatever realtor you use to sell
your home in in the place that you're
moving from so please keep that in mind
the way that typically works is it
doesn't impact what you pay at all I
just get 25 of the commission that would
normally go to the listing agent so
Shameless plug I would I would really
appreciate that that kind of
kicks things off with us and kind of
gets our lines of communication open I
can also interview those realtors make
sure that they're legitimate as well my
company has a relocations department
where we can assist with finding you a
realtor so just keep all of that in mind
all right
that aside
I'm just going to say this okay
you've got these Realtors you've got
these loan officers and other real
estate professionals that are building
their business via family members I've
seen a lot of instances where family
members simply are are not very well
trained they're new at what they're
doing they they just got licensed and
end up sadly doing a terrible job
representing their families particularly
Realtors or loan officers I keep coming
back to those two Fields because those
are the ones that I've seen over and
over again where it's been a struggle
when I'm trying to you know when I'm
representing the buyer and I'm calling
that listing agent and you know he's the
the first cousin of or or the son of
of the seller and it's just
it's crazy how often there is just
incompetence there and and and it's sad
and and there are a lot of reasons for
this I mean whether it's an experience
or God forbid complacency due to them
not having to earn their business
because their family members are just
giving them the business perhaps not
understanding the local market if that
person is trying to assist from out of
town because I've seen that too right
the South Carolina real estate license
it's a state license so I've seen
instances where where people that are
you know in Colombia are trying to help
someone in Greenville they don't know
the Greenville Market how can they help
so my advice is this consider if you're
if you're thinking about working with a
relative who is a realtor consider
whether that Realtor is actually good at
what they do before you just hand them
the business think about that interview
other realtors make your relative earn
your business even if it's even if it's
a sham
even if you're you're interviewing these
other Realtors and they would have to
absolutely knock your socks off for you
to go with them or you genuinely don't
even want to go with them you just want
to go with this relative listen I'm
telling you as a realtor
yeah I don't like to do sham interviews
but it is in your best interest to at
least talk to some other people to
compare and contrast to your cousin or
your brother or your or your daughter
or whatever it is to make sure that they
actually know what they're doing it
doesn't help them or you if they get a
free lunch because in the future they're
not going to get a free lunch in the
future they will have to earn business
from other clients so they might as well
learn how to earn business from you
all right
also I'm not done yet also if you have a
realtor relative out of state
I've got you know I've heard this I've
got a brother in in Arkansas who's a
realtor and I would like to run
everything by him
real real estate looks dramatically
different in Arkansas than it does in
South Carolina I'm sorry
your your realtor brother in Little Rock
might have some interesting ideas he's
not going to know the first thing about
our real estate contract here in South
Carolina
he might not know how the due diligence
period works here he might not know how
title companies work around here you
might not know how many attorneys are
needed he may not understand how escrow
is released
so he's going to look at that contract
and all of a sudden jump into this
Market that he's not been a part of that
he that is completely different than his
market and he's going to be able to
provide insight into whether what you're
doing is right or not
I'm I'm fine I'm fine if you want to do
that but just understand that again
you're you're jumping into a field it's
it the field is the same but it's so
different it's like engineering it this
is a flawed analogy but it's like
bringing a civil engineer in to to look
at a structural engineers report right
they're both Engineers but in in very
different areas and when you're bringing
a an out of Market realtor into a South
Carolina contract to assess that and to
assess what's going on you're you're
just going to find that they're they're
they're going to have questions that are
obvious I've run into this they ask very
obvious questions typically
m they're confused with how the process
works it just works differently if I
have a client
that is asking or sorry if I have a well
yeah a client that's out of state or a
or a relative that's out of state
that wants me to review a contract or
paperwork or whatever I'm happy to
review it but I will tell them right
right off the bat
I am a South Carolina specifically a
Greenville realtor there are going to be
some things on here that I don't fully
understand now that said I can find some
Oddities sometimes that that don't
make sense and I can raise those but I'm
not going to to go in and just mark up
and start redlining the contract I
understand that it's different in in
every Market
all right enough of that last point
point number five
don't compare yourself or your real
estate purchases to your parents
siblings or other relatives
don't do it listen people lose so much
joy they lose so much joy comparing
their home or their financial situation
or their living situation to that of the
relatives don't do it you don't need to
do it it's not worth it your situation
is going to be completely different than
other people
even other people that you spent 18 19
20 years of your life with your closest
relatives
your goals are going to be different
than your siblings than your parents
then your cousins then all these other
people perhaps you are more focused on
buying a good investment but your sister
or your uncle or whatever is more
focused on buying a house that he or she
can show off who cares you can both have
what you want without having to compare
to each other don't don't let other
people steal your joy when you're in a
real estate transaction similar to the
sleep at night test consider whether you
would feel more happy with your house
situation if you had no family no
extended family if that's the case then
perhaps it's time to stop putting
much weight if any weight into your
family's opinions on your real estate
decisions in my experience I've found
that family members that have a negative
view of someone's real estate decisions
are often having those negative views
because they are insecure about
something in their own life do not let
your family's insecurities fuel your own
insecurities don't do it it's not worth
it you can you can have joy
in the decisions that you make and you
don't need relatives especially to take
that Joy away from you
hopefully that was helpful maybe an
encouragement maybe a challenge to
some people I don't know I sound like a
pastor right now challenging you
encouraging you
but hopefully you found that
to be helpful in one form or another
this is the selling Greenville podcast
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case may be and please if you if you
need help with any of your real estate
needs or just want to talk shop with me
my contact information is in the show
notes I appreciate you guys I appreciate
you watching and listening we'll talk
again next time