THE CASE OF THE GREATER GATSBY
INTERSTITAL 1 - ELLEE’S PIZZA PARLOR
TRANSCRIPT

[Jaunty music plays]

Announcer: Fig and Ford will return next week with a brand new episode of The Case of the Greater Gatsby. For now, a brief word from our sponsor.

[SFX: A brick oven SIZZLES. A cash register POPS open.]

Announcer: After a long day walking down Hollywood boulevard, I like to stop in and see my gal Ellee at her pizza parlor for a snack.

Ellee: Hello there, voice of every commercial!

Announcer: My reputation precedes me! I'll have my usual. Thanks.

Ellee: Hey, can I get an order up of mozzarella sticks, a whole mushroom pepperoni pie, breadsticks, a bowl of olives, calamari fritti, chicken tenders, Jimmy Nardellos, a tiramisu, and a strawberry gelato pie for the guy out front?

Line Cook: Is that all for one guy?

Ellee: Yeah just one guy.

Line Cook: ONE guy is gonna eat all that?

Ellee: One man.

Line Cook: Is he taking some home to like a wife or a football player neighbor or something?

Ellee: Doesn't look like it.

Announcer: (uncomfortable) Haha. Silly Ellee, that's not my usual order! Just the... mushroom pepperoni pizza, please.

Ellee: No, that's not right, you always get all of those things - all of them - and then you sit there in the window and eat them in their entirety. And no one knows how you do it. We talk about it all the time.

Announcer: Well, memory can be a fuzzy thing.

Ellee: No. No. They call me “Ellee the Elephant” because of my infallible memory.

Announcer: (sheepish) OK you're right, gimme the goods.

Ellee: That's a-go on the order Jimmy!

Announcer: After Ellee's, why not stop over at Bixby's Lounge next door where, if you ask nicely, he might just give you a cookie for dessert!

Line Cook: This guy’s talking about cookies now? My man, you are overdoing it on your macros.

Announcer: OK, since when is it everyone's business to comment on what I eat during my existential crisis?!

Ellee: Sorry. We'll throw in an extra breadstick.

Announcer: Thank you.

[Jaunty music begins again]

Announcer: Ellee's Pizza Parlor! Slices with the Stars!