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for now let's get into it and take a look
at Marcus Aurelius’ 3 rules of life.

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Marcus Aurelius says “Waste no more time
arguing about what a good man should be. Be

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one.” Aurelius was the emperor of Rome during
the 2nd century A.D., and is said to be the

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last in a line of 5 good emperors known to
have ruled Rome. Under his leadership, the

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empire was guided by virtue and wisdom. He
was a student of Stoicism, a philosophy that

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emphasized fate, reason, and self-restraint.

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While influenced by many philosophers and
philosophical texts, Aurelius’ primary influence

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was the teachings of the former slave and
Stoic philosopher Epictetus. During his rule,

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the emperor constructed a series of autobiographical
writings, now known as the Meditations. While

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the Meditations was never intended for publication,
it remains in print to this day and is perhaps

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as popular as ever. The journal shows that
the most powerful man on the planet was going

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through the same problems that we deal with
today and indeed the same problems we will

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be grappling with tomorrow. So join us now
as we examine the three rules of life that

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Marcus thought were of the utmost importance
to living a good life and how we can adapt

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them to work with our modern day lives.
Rule number 1 - Always aim for pure judgment

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of events
In book 4 of meditations, Marcus Aurelius

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tells us “Suppress the value-judgment (which
you add), and the ‘I’ve been hurt’ is

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also suppressed. Suppress the ‘I’ve been
hurt,’ and the harm is suppressed”

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This rule is influenced by Epictetus’ discipline
of assent which involves making correct judgments

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about your impressions, that is the nature
of the external world and events that occur

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in it. Aurelius tells us that we make judgments
about everything. But instead of making a

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pure judgment, we make value-judgments by
adding a personal twist to our consideration.

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Imagine that you are out driving one day and
another car drives out of a turning directly

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in front, coming dangerously close and almost
hitting your car. Your instincts take over

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and you swerve hard in order to avoid a collision.
What often happens next is that you will start

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cursing at the driver, making rude gestures
and lose your cool. Now, there are emotions

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at play here at different points. First, your
emotions alerted you to danger and you reacted

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quickly in order to avoid it. This is the
correct use of emotions. However what happened

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next right after you managed to avoid the
accident is that other emotions took over

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and made you angry. This is the incorrect
use of emotions. What is the use of being

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angry at this point? The danger to your life
has passed. The only thing that you are doing

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is venting your frustration, which not only
serves no purpose, but could even be counterproductive

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as it makes you more agitated and more prone
to an accident.

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When something bad happens to us, we say,
“So and so happened to me. And that hurt

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me” and in this case we would say “I could
have died”. The last part that is “and

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that hurt me or I could have died” is the
value-judgment part. So when you remove that

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last part, you don’t let the bad thing make
an impact on you. For the Stoics, the biggest

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part of living according to Nature was using
your head. We need to try to stop adding one’s

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own personal twists to our judgments and instead
use rational thinking and our ability to reason,

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in order to grant or deny assent to impression.
So how do we reason and make correct judgments?

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We do this by following what ancient stoics
did 2000 years ago, which was using their

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ability to reason. In the modern world this
practice is known as cognitive distancing.

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Cognitive distancing, being the main precursor
of cognitive-behavioral therapy or CBT, is

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basically the ability to become aware of our
own beliefs and assumptions and to distance

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them from external events. As an example of
cognitive practices, consider the simple ABC

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model from CBT which is adversity, belief,
consequences. Imagine you just got fired from

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your job. The adversity here is getting fired.
The belief is how we represent and or explain

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that event. In this case, we may believe that
we are useless or worry about mortgage or

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about future uncertainties. The consequences
are the behavior or feelings that are caused

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by the belief, perhaps we feel sadness or
anger. When you make a judgment like that

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and give meaning to events, you’re not making
a pure judgment.

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So remember to look at everything that happens
to you for what it is. To apply this discipline

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of judgment, we need to inquire whether your
beliefs are justified. Suppose that after

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being fired from your job, you had the thought
that you are worthless and you will never

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find your job or lose your house. Is the fact
that getting fired really strong evidence

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that you are worthless or that you will not
find jobs in future? Of Course Not! Of Course

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there are other jobs available and in time
if you work on yourself, you might well get

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something better than what you left.
This can be further strengthened by non-cognitive

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practices. As an example of non-cognitive
practice, consider mindfulness meditation.

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In meditation, you exclusively pay attention
to your thoughts, and nothing but them as

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they come and go, the insight that you are
not your thoughts. You can note just how different

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the beliefs and associated feelings of “getting
fired” is from “getting fired because

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you are worthless”. It’s one thing to
believe these things, it’s another to build

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a strong intuition for it. By using this approach
as Marcus Aurelius would refer to it, we are

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suspending certain value judgments from external
events to avoid negative emotions like worry,

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anger and so on.
Did your partner cheat on you? Did you lose

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money? Do people make fun of you? Did something
happen? Then, do something, or move on. The

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events themselves can’t hurt you if you
don’t let them and hence, aim for pure judgments

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of events.
Rule number 2 - Only desire what’s inside

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your control
In the 7th book of his meditations, Marcus

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Aurelius says “Love only the event which
comes upon us, and which is linked to us by

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Destiny”
This rule is influenced by Epictetus’ discipline

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of desire. Stoics believed that there are
four passions that hinder our progress and

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contribute to our misery. They divided the
four passions into two types. One, for things

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not in present possession or anticipated in
the future, which are desire, and, two, for

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things presently engaging a person, which
are pleasure and distress. Here, in this rule,

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we will be focusing on the passion of desire.
Marcus Aurelius only desired what was inside

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his control or what happened to him. In his
Meditations, he continuously repeats to himself

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that most things in life are outside of his
control.

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He realized that life is unpredictable. In
2000 years, nothing has changed about that.

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We often desire the things we do not control
like more money, a better job, a bigger house,

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social media following, or maybe that our
partner will always love. That we always have

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the loyalty of our friends. We sit around
waiting, hoping, begging, craving, wishing

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for luck to strike, or change to happen while
we maintain the exact same social circle and

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habits we’ve always had.
We always want a better job with better pay

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but hold ourselves from learning any new skills
that might get us the job we desire. We could

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either waste our time and energy into praying
and hoping that things would change or we

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could concentrate on what is in our control
and start taking action. We need to be self-reliant

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and take responsibility for ourselves, not
leaving it on the Gods or on the whims of

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Fortune to determine whether we get what we
want.

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Marcus Aurelius tells us that if we wish to
progress in life then we should limit our

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desires to only what’s in our control like
taking deliberate action and not to pin our

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hope for uncertainties. Desire is: I really
want this car and once I get it, I will be

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happy, while deliberate action is: If I want
this car, then I have to raise the cash, and

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to do that I must put extra hours and effort
to learn new skills, and working hard to realise

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those funds. Whatever you want or wish to
accomplish will require your deliberation

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and consideration. Not desire.

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Even then if you work hard and do everything
that you are required to do and still fall

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short of cash or for some other reason if
you don’t get the car, then instead of feeling

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bad, you should accept it gracefully. Stoics
believe that the outcomes, whatever it may

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be, is not in our control. So instead of getting
angry or reacting in an unhealthy manner when

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things don’t turn out the way you want,
you should love and accept it however it turns

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out. Most things in life that happen are not
up to you. So only desire what’s inside

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your control and accept whatever that is not.

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Rule number 3 - Act for the common good

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In the book 12 of his meditations, we learn
from Marcus Aurelius that “In the first

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place: nothing at random, and nothing unrelated
to some goal or end. Second, don’t relate

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your actions to anything except an end or
goal which serves the human community.”

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This rule is influenced by Epictetus’ discipline
of action. The discipline of action is about

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taking the right actions for the right reasons.
It is about what you should do. Marcus Aurelius

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was a man of action and reminds us that we
need to remove impulses from our life and

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make our actions purposeful. You probably
have several roles that you play in real life.

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These might be tied to your family, your job,
or your personal pursuits. Stoics believe

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that we are here for a reason which is to
make things better. So make a list and then

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think about what you want to achieve by playing
each of these roles and what duties stem from

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this. The list of these roles should form
your purpose for now and for the future. Having

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a purpose is the basis of intrinsic motivation.
This type of motivation has been shown to

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be the key to your ability to achieve your
goals.

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Marcus Aurelius wants us to keep a bigger
picture in mind which is to serve the common

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good. As humans, we live to help one another
including people who are selfish, meddling,

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liars, treacherous, envious, and unsociable.
Nature designed humans as social animals with

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innate moral instincts that allow us to live
in groups. To act otherwise - to live like

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an animal - is against human nature and irrational.
Our Society is the glue which holds us together

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and since we are a part of the wider world,
our actions reflect on our place in it. Hence

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our actions should always have an ethical
purpose in mind. Let’s take the example

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of lying. If you lie, this will reflect on
you. People will no longer trust you and that

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can have an impact on how they treat you in
the future. Even if you are not caught, there

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will still be consequences at other people’s
expense.

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One bad choice can destroy your character,
so be careful what you do. Good and evil are

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the results of actions taken based on choices
specific people made. Each action you take

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will reflect on you and your character. So
as Marcus Aurelius would say “Don’t talk

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about being a good man, just be one”
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