Marcus Aurelius says “Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.”
Marcus Aurelius was a truly very remarkable individual. He is considered as the last of
the Five Good Emperors who genuinely cared for his people. He was also a student of Stoicism.
Known as a philosopher king, he constructed a series of autobiographical writings, now
known as the Meditations. The Meditations is regarded as one of the greatest works of
philosophy which is why in this video we will be talking about 10 ways lives our life according
to the teachings of Marcus Aurelius.
1. Be Grateful As Marcus Aurelius wisely stated “To the
gods I am indebted for having good grandfathers, good parents, a good sister, good teachers,
good associates, good kinsmen and friends, nearly everything good”.
The first book of Meditations is a thank you to all of the people Marcus Aurelius felt
he owed something to. There is much to be taken from his first book. Marcus Aurelius
is very honest and humble about how he learned to develop his values and ethics and displays
much gratitude to those who helped him to become himself. We too can replicate this
by keeping a gratitude journal. Keeping a gratitude journal is a simple process. Every
day, you should pick three to five things every day that you're thankful for and write
it down every day. So if you had a rough day at work, focus on coming home to your family
or your pet, or simply that you're grateful for being alive. Finding time to write in
your gratitude journal can be difficult at first because it feels like another thing
on your never ending to-do list, but after you get into the routine it becomes second
nature. Some of the benefits of gratitude journaling include lower stress levels, a
greater sense of calm and a whole new level of clarity. You’ll learn more about yourself
in the process and gain a fresh perspective that allows you to recognize blessings in
disguise. As you continue the practice, you’ll be able to focus your time and energy according
to the things that truly make you the happiest version of yourself.
2. Show Empathy and take care of your life To quote Marcus Aurelius “When people injure
you, ask yourself what good or harm they thought would come of it. If you understand that,
you'll feel sympathy rather than outrage or anger. Your sense of good and evil may be
the same as theirs, or near it, in which case you have to excuse them. Or your sense of
good and evil may differ from theirs. In which case they're misguided and deserve your compassion.
Is that so hard”
The second book in the Meditations series by Marcus Aurelius is rooted in the idea that
we should forgive others for their flaws and faults – because we, too, are flawed. The
theme of Book Two comes down to one human capacity – empathy. As young children, our
family and other role models are responsible for teaching us to be empathetic but there
are some people who never take the lesson seriously, and yet there are others who forget
the lesson as we grow older and our lives become busier. No matter your situation, everyone
has been guilty at least once in their life of not being empathic in a situation that
called for it. This means we all have room to grow in this area of our lives. The degree
to which you are able to empathize with another person is directly related to your ability
to empathize with yourself.
3. Be Mindful In the words of Marcus Aurelius “Nothing
has such power to broaden the mind as the ability to investigate systematically and
truly all that comes under thy observation in life”
In Book Three, Marcus Aurelius reminds himself, as well as the reader, to be mindful of the
small details. Being mindful also means not being overly concerned with what other people
are doing or saying. Instead, be aware of what you say and do and live in such a way
that you wouldn’t be ashamed if other people were to discover things about you. Do everything
with happiness and sincerity. The practice of mindfulness means being aware of where
we are and what we’re doing without becoming overwhelmed by what’s happening in any moment.
The easiest way to learn to do this is to start by setting aside time each day to practice
mindfulness. You just need some time and a quiet space. The goal is to pay a close attention
to what’s happening around you and not make any judgments. When you discover yourself
making a judgment about something – an odour, someone’s voice, even yourself – notice
the judgment then dismiss it from your mind. The mind is easily carried away in thought.
Learning to be mindful means acknowledging the thought then letting it go, allowing your
mind to return to the moment.
4. Practice Virtuousness According to Marcus Aurelius “Remember this—
that there is a proper dignity and proportion to be observed in the performance of every
act of life.” In Book IV Aurelius tells us that we can always
find solitude in our own minds. If our minds are serene, we will find peace and happiness.
As for how others view us, we have little control. But virtue is still virtue even if
it isn’t acknowledged. Remember, our lives are ephemeral, one day we live, the next we
are dead. So act virtuous, use your time well, and be cheerful. Virtues are moral standards,
and they are the best standards we have. If you can achieve moral excellence, then you
will be honest, respectful, brave, forgiving, kind, and much more. Virtues are positive
traits, so those people that have reached moral excellence are focused on doing what
is right. Therefore, you should strive to always be virtuous, be happy, and use your
time well. However, how can we be virtuous? Our parents are ultimately responsible for
teaching us about virtues when we’re young, and hopefully, we will have learned virtuousness
by watching them. After a certain point, you have to take responsibility for your own life
and attitudes. Eventually you will have to become aware of the fact that you have to
take your virtuousness into your own hands. If you’re not sure what you can just start
practicing virtues, and then find a role model to look up to. When you face a situation where
you are unsure, you’ll be thinking about what your role model would have done or said.
This will help direct your actions.
5. Willingly contribute Marcus Aurelius informs us that “Some people,
when they do someone a favour, are always looking for a chance to call it in. And some
aren't, but they're still aware of it - still regard it as a debt. But others don't even
do that. They're like a vine that produces grapes without looking for anything in return.”
The fifth book of Aurelius’ meditations focuses on willingly getting up in the mornings
and wanting to do good work. This good work is contributing to society in some way. When
you perform good deeds for people, then you shouldn’t be asking for payment even in
the form of gratitude. If you are doing good, then you should be content with the work that
you have done. There are times where people want to commit
to helping society, but they end up falling short or failing to do what they said that
they would do. Often, we struggle to find time between parents, working, starting a
business, or just running a household. Our lives tend to be a mass of busy schedules
pressing against each other. Even with the business, you should be able to find some
time to willingly give something back to society. Contribution does not necessarily means giving
money. We often don’t contribute, because we don’t have enough money to donate. However,
there are ways to donate that don’t involve money. You can donate your time to helping
out a group of people. You can donate items that you don’t use anymore, whether it’s
clothes or household appliances. You can also donate your time and effort. You can volunteer
at places all over your city, most likely. Stoics are focused on creating the best society
they can. When they wake up, their thoughts and focus are on how they will be able to
help the people around them.
6. Revenge is not necessary Marcus Aurelius tells us concisely that “The
best revenge is not to be like your enemy” In Aurelius’ sixth book of Meditations,
he wants his readers to turn away from revenge. Revenge is about anger, power, and hurt. The
actions typically only create more revenge. This means that instead of perpetuating the
cycle, we need to stop and try to find a better way to live a fulfilling life. Revenge is
the impulse to get even when someone does you wrong. It’s natural to feel angry, to
say “I’m not gonna let that get away. However, revenge reduces you to your worst
self, puts you on the same level with those spiteful people we claim to abhor. Studies
have shown that revenge increases stress and impairs health and immunity. Sure, if someone
insults you, you have the impulse to insult him back. But to thrive personally, we must
resist this predictable lust for revenge, and seek to right wrongs more positively.
You may have thoughts of revenge that seem fantastic in your head, but just because it
feels like an instinct doesn’t mean that you should act on these thoughts. Accepting
that they are an instinct will help you move forward. This doesn’t mean that you are
a pushover; you’re just refusing to act in a tediously destructive way which is not
peaceful. Next time when you feel vengeful, always remember this saying from Confucious,
"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."
7. Have Patience To coin Marcus Aurelius “Convince them not
to. If you can. And if not, remember: the capacity for patience was given us for a reason.”
This seventh instalment of Meditations consists of Aurelius’ discussion of tolerance and
patience. We can imagine that the job of emperor was
not an easy one. It would have had enormous responsibilities and despite his absolute
power, he still had to deal constantly with his advisors, with his family, and his life
guards, the Senates and and his magistrates. He had to deal with the Roman people too.
Leading the state would have required a lot of persuasion and arguments of all kinds:
Do this. Don’t do that. Listen. Try this. Stop that. He believed that patience was given
to us for a reason. The truth is that the world is always changing,
so we have to exercise some patience. No matter what you do, people may speak badly of you.
In those situations, you have to exercise tolerance.
There will be people in the world that will try to use your tolerance and patience, but
in those instances, you will have to remain in control and positive. You can do this by
maintaining control of your reactions to these people. Patience is one of the most important
character traits that people need. Patient people experience reduced stress levels and
a boost in overall happiness. Many patient people are also healthier. Practicing patience
will allow you to reduce your anger so you can face any tough situation you can face
calmly. You were given patience for a reason. You
were given your persuasion skills for a reason too. Use the latter if you can, and if it
doesn’t work, use the former. Most importantly use them both.
8. Maintain Social Relationships As Marcus Aurelius once wrote “Men exist
for the sake of one another. Teach them then or bear with them”.
In the 8th book, the emperor contends that being detached from society is akin to severing
a body part, and that remaining joined to other people and nature is vital in life.
The truth is we are all social beings and It’s in our nature to form social relationships.
We are each born with a drive to seek, form, maintain, and protect strong social relationships.
To fulfil this need, we seek relationships with those at work, at school, in our communities
and religious organizations, on sports teams, in online communities, and in other social
contexts. These relationships help us feel we are not alone, because we belong to a social
community and being deprived of social relationships can be physically and psychologically devastating.
Once you develop a social circle, make an effort to maintain contact with them for three
months. You can meet these people anywhere, such as at church, a leisure course, a support
group, or a recreational sports organization. Introduce yourself to as many people you meet
in these settings as possible. Keep in touch and meet up a few times over the course of
three months, and if by then you find that there isn’t a connection, start over and
build a new circle elsewhere.
9. Be genuine, modest and truthful As written in the Meditations, Marcus Aurelius
says “Epithets for yourself: Upright. Modest. Straightforward. Sane. Cooperative. Try not
to exchange for others”
From book 9, 10 and 11 of the Meditations, states that we should be genuine, modest,
serene, and truthful. Genuineness means being authentic with yourself
as well as with other people. Genuineness comes from within. Every action you carry
out or word you say should carry the same meaning as what it is that you are doing or
saying. You cannot call yourself genuine if you tell someone that you love monsoons when
you actually don’t. If you show your honest thoughts and emotions to others, this exhibits
genuineness. If you ever find yourself in a scenario in which you must show your thoughts
or give praise, but you feel like you need to be dishonest about it, a simple answer
for this is to just be honest. We generally tell white lies to avoid offending someone
as an act of kindness, and usually don’t see them as very substantial. But this can
impact how you feel about yourself as well. The longer a small lie continues, regardless
of if you said it to be polite or not, will actually cause damage to your emotions. To
avoid this, it is important to practice always being truthful with people, even if you think
they may not want to hear it.
Finally, 10. Accept and appreciate yourself Finally these wise words from Marcus Aurelius,
“I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of
men, but yet sets less value on his own opinions of himself than on the opinions of others”.
The last book of Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations concentrates on why we appreciate ourselves
the most, but also usually place others’ thoughts about us at a higher status than
our own. He says that the fate of every single person on earth, no matter how good or bad,
is the same: all of our lives will one day come to an end. Hence it’s very important
that we accept and appreciate ourselves. This may seem relatively easy, but there are actually
a variety of factors that decide whether or not we truly accept ourselves. These factors
include how we think of ourselves in regards to who we are inherently as people, as well
as how others think of us. But ultimately it’s up to you to decide who you are on
the inside. If you can’t look at yourself with satisfaction, then you haven’t achieved
self-appreciation. The first thing you can do to work towards this is to increase your
self-confidence. If you have a low self-esteem and a low opinion about yourself, you are
more likely to allow others to degrade you. The most important step in coming to appreciate
yourself is to recognize your own value.
If you like this video, please do make sure to check out our full Stoicism playlist and
for more videos to help you find success and happiness using ancient philosophical wisdom,
don’t forget to subscribe to us. Thanks so much for watching.