1 00:00:00,210 --> 00:00:07,390 Marcus Aurelius says “Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” 2 00:00:07,390 --> 00:00:12,450 Marcus Aurelius was a truly very remarkable individual. He is considered as the last of 3 00:00:12,450 --> 00:00:18,699 the Five Good Emperors who genuinely cared for his people. He was also a student of Stoicism. 4 00:00:18,699 --> 00:00:23,579 Known as a philosopher king, he constructed a series of autobiographical writings, now 5 00:00:23,579 --> 00:00:28,749 known as the Meditations. The Meditations is regarded as one of the greatest works of 6 00:00:28,749 --> 00:00:33,990 philosophy which is why in this video we will be talking about 10 ways lives our life according 7 00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:36,809 to the teachings of Marcus Aurelius. 8 00:00:36,809 --> 00:00:42,590 1. Be Grateful As Marcus Aurelius wisely stated “To the 9 00:00:42,590 --> 00:00:48,579 gods I am indebted for having good grandfathers, good parents, a good sister, good teachers, 10 00:00:48,579 --> 00:00:53,960 good associates, good kinsmen and friends, nearly everything good”. 11 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:57,809 The first book of Meditations is a thank you to all of the people Marcus Aurelius felt 12 00:00:57,809 --> 00:01:02,949 he owed something to. There is much to be taken from his first book. Marcus Aurelius 13 00:01:02,949 --> 00:01:07,830 is very honest and humble about how he learned to develop his values and ethics and displays 14 00:01:07,830 --> 00:01:12,860 much gratitude to those who helped him to become himself. We too can replicate this 15 00:01:12,860 --> 00:01:18,281 by keeping a gratitude journal. Keeping a gratitude journal is a simple process. Every 16 00:01:18,281 --> 00:01:22,009 day, you should pick three to five things every day that you're thankful for and write 17 00:01:22,009 --> 00:01:26,500 it down every day. So if you had a rough day at work, focus on coming home to your family 18 00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:31,689 or your pet, or simply that you're grateful for being alive. Finding time to write in 19 00:01:31,689 --> 00:01:35,560 your gratitude journal can be difficult at first because it feels like another thing 20 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:40,420 on your never ending to-do list, but after you get into the routine it becomes second 21 00:01:40,420 --> 00:01:45,630 nature. Some of the benefits of gratitude journaling include lower stress levels, a 22 00:01:45,630 --> 00:01:50,289 greater sense of calm and a whole new level of clarity. You’ll learn more about yourself 23 00:01:50,289 --> 00:01:54,729 in the process and gain a fresh perspective that allows you to recognize blessings in 24 00:01:54,729 --> 00:01:59,820 disguise. As you continue the practice, you’ll be able to focus your time and energy according 25 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:04,090 to the things that truly make you the happiest version of yourself. 26 00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:12,100 2. Show Empathy and take care of your life To quote Marcus Aurelius “When people injure 27 00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:16,760 you, ask yourself what good or harm they thought would come of it. If you understand that, 28 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:21,720 you'll feel sympathy rather than outrage or anger. Your sense of good and evil may be 29 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:27,150 the same as theirs, or near it, in which case you have to excuse them. Or your sense of 30 00:02:27,150 --> 00:02:32,530 good and evil may differ from theirs. In which case they're misguided and deserve your compassion. 31 00:02:32,530 --> 00:02:34,450 Is that so hard” 32 00:02:34,450 --> 00:02:39,190 The second book in the Meditations series by Marcus Aurelius is rooted in the idea that 33 00:02:39,190 --> 00:02:44,431 we should forgive others for their flaws and faults – because we, too, are flawed. The 34 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:50,960 theme of Book Two comes down to one human capacity – empathy. As young children, our 35 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:55,131 family and other role models are responsible for teaching us to be empathetic but there 36 00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:59,080 are some people who never take the lesson seriously, and yet there are others who forget 37 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:04,600 the lesson as we grow older and our lives become busier. No matter your situation, everyone 38 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:08,900 has been guilty at least once in their life of not being empathic in a situation that 39 00:03:08,900 --> 00:03:14,580 called for it. This means we all have room to grow in this area of our lives. The degree 40 00:03:14,580 --> 00:03:18,650 to which you are able to empathize with another person is directly related to your ability 41 00:03:18,650 --> 00:03:21,120 to empathize with yourself. 42 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:26,940 3. Be Mindful In the words of Marcus Aurelius “Nothing 43 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:31,530 has such power to broaden the mind as the ability to investigate systematically and 44 00:03:31,530 --> 00:03:34,950 truly all that comes under thy observation in life” 45 00:03:34,950 --> 00:03:39,570 In Book Three, Marcus Aurelius reminds himself, as well as the reader, to be mindful of the 46 00:03:39,570 --> 00:03:45,180 small details. Being mindful also means not being overly concerned with what other people 47 00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:50,150 are doing or saying. Instead, be aware of what you say and do and live in such a way 48 00:03:50,150 --> 00:03:54,840 that you wouldn’t be ashamed if other people were to discover things about you. Do everything 49 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:59,590 with happiness and sincerity. The practice of mindfulness means being aware of where 50 00:03:59,590 --> 00:04:05,150 we are and what we’re doing without becoming overwhelmed by what’s happening in any moment. 51 00:04:05,150 --> 00:04:10,450 The easiest way to learn to do this is to start by setting aside time each day to practice 52 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:15,490 mindfulness. You just need some time and a quiet space. The goal is to pay a close attention 53 00:04:15,490 --> 00:04:20,120 to what’s happening around you and not make any judgments. When you discover yourself 54 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:25,229 making a judgment about something – an odour, someone’s voice, even yourself – notice 55 00:04:25,229 --> 00:04:30,740 the judgment then dismiss it from your mind. The mind is easily carried away in thought. 56 00:04:30,740 --> 00:04:35,380 Learning to be mindful means acknowledging the thought then letting it go, allowing your 57 00:04:35,380 --> 00:04:37,979 mind to return to the moment. 58 00:04:37,979 --> 00:04:44,590 4. Practice Virtuousness According to Marcus Aurelius “Remember this— 59 00:04:44,590 --> 00:04:48,660 that there is a proper dignity and proportion to be observed in the performance of every 60 00:04:48,660 --> 00:04:52,990 act of life.” In Book IV Aurelius tells us that we can always 61 00:04:52,990 --> 00:04:59,479 find solitude in our own minds. If our minds are serene, we will find peace and happiness. 62 00:04:59,479 --> 00:05:04,090 As for how others view us, we have little control. But virtue is still virtue even if 63 00:05:04,090 --> 00:05:09,710 it isn’t acknowledged. Remember, our lives are ephemeral, one day we live, the next we 64 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:16,370 are dead. So act virtuous, use your time well, and be cheerful. Virtues are moral standards, 65 00:05:16,370 --> 00:05:20,409 and they are the best standards we have. If you can achieve moral excellence, then you 66 00:05:20,409 --> 00:05:26,590 will be honest, respectful, brave, forgiving, kind, and much more. Virtues are positive 67 00:05:26,590 --> 00:05:30,979 traits, so those people that have reached moral excellence are focused on doing what 68 00:05:30,979 --> 00:05:36,590 is right. Therefore, you should strive to always be virtuous, be happy, and use your 69 00:05:36,590 --> 00:05:42,169 time well. However, how can we be virtuous? Our parents are ultimately responsible for 70 00:05:42,169 --> 00:05:46,530 teaching us about virtues when we’re young, and hopefully, we will have learned virtuousness 71 00:05:46,530 --> 00:05:51,229 by watching them. After a certain point, you have to take responsibility for your own life 72 00:05:51,229 --> 00:05:55,860 and attitudes. Eventually you will have to become aware of the fact that you have to 73 00:05:55,860 --> 00:06:01,139 take your virtuousness into your own hands. If you’re not sure what you can just start 74 00:06:01,139 --> 00:06:06,930 practicing virtues, and then find a role model to look up to. When you face a situation where 75 00:06:06,930 --> 00:06:11,069 you are unsure, you’ll be thinking about what your role model would have done or said. 76 00:06:11,069 --> 00:06:14,039 This will help direct your actions. 77 00:06:14,039 --> 00:06:20,080 5. Willingly contribute Marcus Aurelius informs us that “Some people, 78 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:24,629 when they do someone a favour, are always looking for a chance to call it in. And some 79 00:06:24,629 --> 00:06:28,639 aren't, but they're still aware of it - still regard it as a debt. But others don't even 80 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:34,639 do that. They're like a vine that produces grapes without looking for anything in return.” 81 00:06:34,639 --> 00:06:39,169 The fifth book of Aurelius’ meditations focuses on willingly getting up in the mornings 82 00:06:39,169 --> 00:06:45,170 and wanting to do good work. This good work is contributing to society in some way. When 83 00:06:45,170 --> 00:06:48,990 you perform good deeds for people, then you shouldn’t be asking for payment even in 84 00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:53,330 the form of gratitude. If you are doing good, then you should be content with the work that 85 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:56,279 you have done. There are times where people want to commit 86 00:06:56,279 --> 00:07:01,039 to helping society, but they end up falling short or failing to do what they said that 87 00:07:01,039 --> 00:07:05,879 they would do. Often, we struggle to find time between parents, working, starting a 88 00:07:05,879 --> 00:07:10,419 business, or just running a household. Our lives tend to be a mass of busy schedules 89 00:07:10,419 --> 00:07:14,539 pressing against each other. Even with the business, you should be able to find some 90 00:07:14,539 --> 00:07:20,250 time to willingly give something back to society. Contribution does not necessarily means giving 91 00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:25,360 money. We often don’t contribute, because we don’t have enough money to donate. However, 92 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:29,690 there are ways to donate that don’t involve money. You can donate your time to helping 93 00:07:29,690 --> 00:07:34,559 out a group of people. You can donate items that you don’t use anymore, whether it’s 94 00:07:34,559 --> 00:07:39,599 clothes or household appliances. You can also donate your time and effort. You can volunteer 95 00:07:39,599 --> 00:07:45,039 at places all over your city, most likely. Stoics are focused on creating the best society 96 00:07:45,039 --> 00:07:49,689 they can. When they wake up, their thoughts and focus are on how they will be able to 97 00:07:49,689 --> 00:07:52,199 help the people around them. 98 00:07:52,199 --> 00:07:59,000 6. Revenge is not necessary Marcus Aurelius tells us concisely that “The 99 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:04,719 best revenge is not to be like your enemy” In Aurelius’ sixth book of Meditations, 100 00:08:04,719 --> 00:08:11,629 he wants his readers to turn away from revenge. Revenge is about anger, power, and hurt. The 101 00:08:11,629 --> 00:08:16,089 actions typically only create more revenge. This means that instead of perpetuating the 102 00:08:16,089 --> 00:08:22,150 cycle, we need to stop and try to find a better way to live a fulfilling life. Revenge is 103 00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:26,960 the impulse to get even when someone does you wrong. It’s natural to feel angry, to 104 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:32,350 say “I’m not gonna let that get away. However, revenge reduces you to your worst 105 00:08:32,350 --> 00:08:37,010 self, puts you on the same level with those spiteful people we claim to abhor. Studies 106 00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:42,090 have shown that revenge increases stress and impairs health and immunity. Sure, if someone 107 00:08:42,090 --> 00:08:46,810 insults you, you have the impulse to insult him back. But to thrive personally, we must 108 00:08:46,810 --> 00:08:51,510 resist this predictable lust for revenge, and seek to right wrongs more positively. 109 00:08:51,510 --> 00:08:55,190 You may have thoughts of revenge that seem fantastic in your head, but just because it 110 00:08:55,190 --> 00:09:00,260 feels like an instinct doesn’t mean that you should act on these thoughts. Accepting 111 00:09:00,260 --> 00:09:04,430 that they are an instinct will help you move forward. This doesn’t mean that you are 112 00:09:04,430 --> 00:09:09,080 a pushover; you’re just refusing to act in a tediously destructive way which is not 113 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:13,860 peaceful. Next time when you feel vengeful, always remember this saying from Confucious, 114 00:09:13,860 --> 00:09:18,570 "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." 115 00:09:18,570 --> 00:09:25,070 7. Have Patience To coin Marcus Aurelius “Convince them not 116 00:09:25,070 --> 00:09:32,570 to. If you can. And if not, remember: the capacity for patience was given us for a reason.” 117 00:09:32,570 --> 00:09:38,230 This seventh instalment of Meditations consists of Aurelius’ discussion of tolerance and 118 00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:41,530 patience. We can imagine that the job of emperor was 119 00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:46,380 not an easy one. It would have had enormous responsibilities and despite his absolute 120 00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:51,120 power, he still had to deal constantly with his advisors, with his family, and his life 121 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:56,550 guards, the Senates and and his magistrates. He had to deal with the Roman people too. 122 00:09:56,550 --> 00:10:01,050 Leading the state would have required a lot of persuasion and arguments of all kinds: 123 00:10:01,050 --> 00:10:07,110 Do this. Don’t do that. Listen. Try this. Stop that. He believed that patience was given 124 00:10:07,110 --> 00:10:11,410 to us for a reason. The truth is that the world is always changing, 125 00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:17,000 so we have to exercise some patience. No matter what you do, people may speak badly of you. 126 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,810 In those situations, you have to exercise tolerance. 127 00:10:20,810 --> 00:10:25,100 There will be people in the world that will try to use your tolerance and patience, but 128 00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:30,210 in those instances, you will have to remain in control and positive. You can do this by 129 00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:35,040 maintaining control of your reactions to these people. Patience is one of the most important 130 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:40,270 character traits that people need. Patient people experience reduced stress levels and 131 00:10:40,270 --> 00:10:45,660 a boost in overall happiness. Many patient people are also healthier. Practicing patience 132 00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:50,450 will allow you to reduce your anger so you can face any tough situation you can face 133 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,101 calmly. You were given patience for a reason. You 134 00:10:53,101 --> 00:10:58,330 were given your persuasion skills for a reason too. Use the latter if you can, and if it 135 00:10:58,330 --> 00:11:03,750 doesn’t work, use the former. Most importantly use them both. 136 00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:10,790 8. Maintain Social Relationships As Marcus Aurelius once wrote “Men exist 137 00:11:10,790 --> 00:11:15,190 for the sake of one another. Teach them then or bear with them”. 138 00:11:15,190 --> 00:11:19,790 In the 8th book, the emperor contends that being detached from society is akin to severing 139 00:11:19,790 --> 00:11:24,990 a body part, and that remaining joined to other people and nature is vital in life. 140 00:11:24,990 --> 00:11:29,360 The truth is we are all social beings and It’s in our nature to form social relationships. 141 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:36,640 We are each born with a drive to seek, form, maintain, and protect strong social relationships. 142 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:41,510 To fulfil this need, we seek relationships with those at work, at school, in our communities 143 00:11:41,510 --> 00:11:46,910 and religious organizations, on sports teams, in online communities, and in other social 144 00:11:46,910 --> 00:11:51,990 contexts. These relationships help us feel we are not alone, because we belong to a social 145 00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:58,830 community and being deprived of social relationships can be physically and psychologically devastating. 146 00:11:58,830 --> 00:12:02,800 Once you develop a social circle, make an effort to maintain contact with them for three 147 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:07,790 months. You can meet these people anywhere, such as at church, a leisure course, a support 148 00:12:07,790 --> 00:12:12,750 group, or a recreational sports organization. Introduce yourself to as many people you meet 149 00:12:12,750 --> 00:12:17,220 in these settings as possible. Keep in touch and meet up a few times over the course of 150 00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:21,940 three months, and if by then you find that there isn’t a connection, start over and 151 00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:24,060 build a new circle elsewhere. 152 00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:30,810 9. Be genuine, modest and truthful As written in the Meditations, Marcus Aurelius 153 00:12:30,810 --> 00:12:38,300 says “Epithets for yourself: Upright. Modest. Straightforward. Sane. Cooperative. Try not 154 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:40,440 to exchange for others” 155 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:46,260 From book 9, 10 and 11 of the Meditations, states that we should be genuine, modest, 156 00:12:46,260 --> 00:12:50,760 serene, and truthful. Genuineness means being authentic with yourself 157 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:56,420 as well as with other people. Genuineness comes from within. Every action you carry 158 00:12:56,420 --> 00:13:00,740 out or word you say should carry the same meaning as what it is that you are doing or 159 00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:05,590 saying. You cannot call yourself genuine if you tell someone that you love monsoons when 160 00:13:05,590 --> 00:13:11,200 you actually don’t. If you show your honest thoughts and emotions to others, this exhibits 161 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:15,610 genuineness. If you ever find yourself in a scenario in which you must show your thoughts 162 00:13:15,610 --> 00:13:19,530 or give praise, but you feel like you need to be dishonest about it, a simple answer 163 00:13:19,530 --> 00:13:23,940 for this is to just be honest. We generally tell white lies to avoid offending someone 164 00:13:23,940 --> 00:13:28,820 as an act of kindness, and usually don’t see them as very substantial. But this can 165 00:13:28,820 --> 00:13:33,840 impact how you feel about yourself as well. The longer a small lie continues, regardless 166 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:38,811 of if you said it to be polite or not, will actually cause damage to your emotions. To 167 00:13:38,811 --> 00:13:43,680 avoid this, it is important to practice always being truthful with people, even if you think 168 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:45,840 they may not want to hear it. 169 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:51,920 Finally, 10. Accept and appreciate yourself Finally these wise words from Marcus Aurelius, 170 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:57,240 “I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of 171 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:02,850 men, but yet sets less value on his own opinions of himself than on the opinions of others”. 172 00:14:02,850 --> 00:14:07,940 The last book of Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations concentrates on why we appreciate ourselves 173 00:14:07,940 --> 00:14:12,140 the most, but also usually place others’ thoughts about us at a higher status than 174 00:14:12,140 --> 00:14:17,520 our own. He says that the fate of every single person on earth, no matter how good or bad, 175 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:22,680 is the same: all of our lives will one day come to an end. Hence it’s very important 176 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:27,840 that we accept and appreciate ourselves. This may seem relatively easy, but there are actually 177 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:33,160 a variety of factors that decide whether or not we truly accept ourselves. These factors 178 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:37,660 include how we think of ourselves in regards to who we are inherently as people, as well 179 00:14:37,660 --> 00:14:42,130 as how others think of us. But ultimately it’s up to you to decide who you are on 180 00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:47,430 the inside. If you can’t look at yourself with satisfaction, then you haven’t achieved 181 00:14:47,430 --> 00:14:52,480 self-appreciation. The first thing you can do to work towards this is to increase your 182 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:56,640 self-confidence. If you have a low self-esteem and a low opinion about yourself, you are 183 00:14:56,640 --> 00:15:01,330 more likely to allow others to degrade you. The most important step in coming to appreciate 184 00:15:01,330 --> 00:15:06,040 yourself is to recognize your own value. 185 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:10,190 If you like this video, please do make sure to check out our full Stoicism playlist and 186 00:15:10,190 --> 00:15:14,760 for more videos to help you find success and happiness using ancient philosophical wisdom, 187 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:18,440 don’t forget to subscribe to us. Thanks so much for watching.