If you want to build self-discipline, you’d do well to listen to the words of Marcus Aurelius.
He was the emperor of Rome from 161 to 180 A.D. and is considered as last of the Five
Good Emperors. During his rule, Aurelius found the time to construct a series of autobiographical
writings, now known as the Meditations. In these writings, the Roman Emperor offered
a number of key insights on how to be build self-discipline. Here are 10 of the most important
of those insights for self-discipline from the writings of Marcus Aurelius.
1. Self Discipline starts with finding your purpose
Marcus Aurelius says “I have to go to work — as a human being. What do I have to complain
of, if I’m going to do what I was born for — the things I was brought into the world to do?
Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?”
Marcus Aurelius believed that we each have a purpose; something that we were created
for. It is our duty to carry out that purpose because it is purpose that gets you out of
bed each morning. If you have a clear understanding of your goals and how your task fits within
them, you are much more likely to complete it.
For example, say you have a flat tire and need to change it. Your purpose is clear – change
the tire as quickly as possible so you can get on your way. You are going to do that
task, no matter how tired you feel. The biggest source of self-discipline is to have a reason
to do the task. If you don’t know what to do, just start.
If you want to be a writer, write every day. If you want to be an artist, draw and create
every day. Anything you want to do, you don’t need any more motivation or research or advice.
You just start practicing something you’re interested in and tackle every day as it comes
because it is your purpose that will give you an internal desire, drive, and motivation
to propels you forward toward your goal. Self-discipline is about finding compelling reasons to do
something then committing yourself to see that task or activity through to the very
end.
2. Count on yourself According to Marcus Aurelius, you should “Turn
your desire to stone. Quench your appetites. Keep your mind centered on itself”
After you have a solid purpose, It’s time now to build a practical plan of action to
help you accomplish your goal. You should’nt just not commit to your goals but commit to
all the little actions you will take along the way in the pursuit of those goals. We
must be fully committed to doing whatever it takes to get the job done no matter what
challenges get in the way.
Self Discipline is the ability to get yourself to take action—to do what you need to do—regardless
of your physical, mental, or emotional state. Everything you want in your life—everything
you want to have, be, and do, depends on your ability to get yourself to take the necessary
actions to achieve your goals, whether you feel like it or not.
You can start with forming an effective plan of action that is comprised of a deadline
for accomplishing your goal. It must also be built on the foundation of mini-milestones
that break your goal down into manageable chunks.
Mini-milestones will ensure that you’re working toward your desired outcome in small
pieces and time blocks. This tactic puts you in the driver’s seat. It gives you a sense
of control over the tasks and projects you’re working on.
What you’re ultimately trying to avoid is succumbing to being overwhelmed. Overwhelming
can quickly digress to procrastination, and procrastination can, subsequently, lead to
stagnation. And, of course, where there is stagnation, self-discipline cannot exist.
3. Show up every day Marcus Aurelius says “You must build up
your life action by action, and be content if each one achieves its goal as far as possible–and
no one can keep you from this”.
Even after having a solid purpose and a practical plan, 95% of us fail to achieve our goals.
We fail because we fail to be consistent. We need to show up, every day, and put in
the work. The simple act of showing up and immersing yourself in your craft does wonders
for mental endurance. You build focus and come to terms with the arduous process that
it takes to achieve anything great. You have to put in countless hours of work before you
reap any of the benefits. Self - Discipline is nothing more but the habit of consistency
– finding the motivation to do something again and again, until you do it on autopilot
and start seeing results. So even if you fail once for example, if you didn’t exercise
when you know you should have, this doesn’t define your character. Your ability to keep
going is what moulds you into a disciplined and strong person. A bad day doesn’t have
to become a bad week, a bad week doesn’t have to become a bad year. The moment you
wake up, remember that the new day is a new life and move forward by opening your eyes
and focusing on what’s in front of you, which is life itself.
4. Practice Voluntary Hardship In the words of Marcus Aurelius “We should
discipline ourselves in small things, and from there progress to things of greater value.
If you have a headache, practise not cursing. Don’t curse every time you have an earache.
And I’m not saying that you can’t complain, only don’t complain with your whole being”
Voluntary Hardship is one of the ways we can build our self discipline. Voluntary hardship
means constantly testing ourselves and by making life routinely uncomfortable in some
way, we are hardening ourselves for the day we may need to live it for real. A voluntary
hardship might be skipping a meal and going hungry for a night, having a cold shower,
not smoking, sleeping on the floor, leaving your jacket at home when you know it’s cold
and raining out or donating half of your clothes to charity. You could choose to go without
Social Media for a few days or throw your Smart Phone in the drawer. Do it often enough
and will you begin to understand what scarcity and hardship feels like and that you can live
with both if needed.
5. Practice Dichotomy of Control Marcus Aurelius says “You have power over
your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength”
Being distressed, being bothered by small things instantly is terrible for discipline.
You have a goal, you’re working and then thoughts and distress about something external,
meaning it’s out of your control, de-rails you.
The best thing you can do in these circumstances is to apply Epictetus’ dichotomy of control.
Reinforce to yourself what is within your control and what is out of your control; if
you embrace what’s out of your control and accept it, you will experience tranquillity.
Refer to the following wording next time you’re distressed and distracted:
Do you have a problem in your life? No? ► Then don’t worry.
Yes? ► Can you do something about it?… Yes? ► Then don’t worry.
No? ► Then don’t worry.
6. Never Play the victim In the words of Marcus Aurelius “Do your
job, without whining”
Have you said any of these? “I was just born this way.” “I never learned anything
different.” “My parents set a terrible example.” “Everyone else does it.” What
are these? Excuses that people use to justify staying as they are instead of striving to
become better. You need to assume responsibility. The “why
me?” mentality is an enemy to mental toughness. You might not be at fault, but your life depends
on you determining what’s within your control and taking those things into your own hands.
You must train yourself to frame these things this way instead of immediately resorting
to self pity. It’s certainly easier to pawn off blame on others when something goes wrong.
But only those with a degree of mental fortitude are able to step up–even when it’s not
their fault–and right the ship. Be that person who steps in to take action, not the
one who looks the other way and casts blame. When you victimize yourself or your current
position, you relinquish control and absolve yourself of personal responsibility. And without
a sense of ownership, meaningful progress becomes an impossible task.
7. Practice Delayed Gratification In the words of Marcus Aurelius “So you
were born to feel ‘nice’? Instead of doings things and experiencing them? Don’t you
see the plants, the birds, the ants and spiders and bees going about their individual tasks,
putting the world in order, as best they can? And you’re not willing to do your job as
a human being? Why aren’t you running to do what your nature demands?”
Delayed gratification involves the ability to wait to get what you want. Imagine a company
Christmas party when you encounter platters of delicious and tempting foods when you are
trying to lose weight. If you give in and fill up your plate with fattening goodies,
it might derail your diet, but you will get to enjoy a bit of instant gratification.
If you manage to resist and spend the evening eating salad and munching on carrot sticks,
then you will presumably receive an even greater reward down the line — shedding those unwanted
pounds and being able to fit into your favorite pair of skinny jeans.
This ability to resist temptation and stick to our goals is often referred to as self
discipline, and delaying gratification is often seen as a central part of this behavior.
We put off what we want now so that we can perhaps get something else, something better,
later on.
8. Ignore Naysayers Marcus Aurelius says “When another blames
you or hates you, or people voice similar criticisms, go to their souls, penetrate inside
and see what sort of people they are. You will realize that there is no need to be racked
with anxiety that they should hold any particular opinion about you”
Whenever you step out from the norm, and declare (even if only to yourself) that you believe
that you have a special purpose in life, and that you are going to do whatever it takes
to achieve it, you will attract naysayers. Naysayers are the people who criticize, objects
to, or oppose something. The Naysayers just love to say nay. They might love you, but
they are afraid of progress so they are against everything and their opinions are just terrible
for your self discipline. You need to realise that allowing yourself to be upset by the
opinion of someone you don’t know or don’t respect is as foolish as getting upset about
the weather. It’s a waste of energy. Their voice does not deserve to be heard. Don’t
hand over your peace of mind to outsiders to disrupt as they please. You should actively
seek honest feedback from those you respect. But if someone just has a history of being
a naysayer, ignore them.
9. Find Wise People to emulate Marcus Aurelius says “It will even do to
socialize with men of good character, in order to model your life on theirs, whether you
choose someone living or someone from the past”
It’s time now to look outward for answers to help strengthen your self-discipline. Specifically,
let’s identify role models. Your role models could be your friends, family, colleagues
who have already achieved the goal you are working towards. Ask yourself:
Who is doing this right now? Who has successfully achieved this goal?
Who has successfully mastered this habit? Who has successfully made this change?
Who has the necessary self-discipline in this area?
What can I learn from this person that can help me along my journey?
Take time to ask these people how they disciplined themselves. Ask them how they followed through
with specific actions that got them their desired outcome. Then use their experience
to help you discipline yourself along your own personal journey.
10. Honestly review your day
In the words of Marcus Aurelius “These are the characteristics of the rational soul:
self-awareness, self-examination, and self- determination. It reaps its own harvest. . . . It
succeeds in its own purpose”. One of the best ways to become more disciplined
is to scrutinize yourself, and find your weak spots. Be brutally honest and use this time
to connect with your subconscious. Practicing evening retrospections on a consistent
basis will allow you to become more self-aware through every step of your day because you
will be actively gathering information to formulate and articulate constructive answers
to these questions. Ask yourself,
What did I do well today? Where were my discipline and self-control
tested, where did I do good? What did I do bad, why did this occur? And
Furthermore, how can I improve? Now you know how you can improve tomorrow.
But don’t beat yourself up. Be like Seneca and forgive yourself. Have some self-compassion.
Research shows that it’s forgiving yourself — not beating yourself up — that prevents
you from continuing to put things off. And don’t just be critical of yourself. Think
about what you did well so you can repeat it tomorrow. Be grateful for the good that
happened today.
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