Marcus Aurelius says “The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.”
Marcus Aurelius was a Roman Emperor from 161 to 180 AD and a very prominent figure within
the philosophy of Stoicism.
At its core, Stoicism teaches us to distinguish between what we can and cannot control and
encourages us to focus on what we can control, which is mainly our thoughts and actions,
and accept what we cannot.
This mindset shift is like putting on a mental armor that shields us from negative thoughts
and unnecessary worries.
By directing our attention to our thoughts and actions, Stoicism empowers us to actively
shape our responses to life's challenges.
It encourages us to find solutions and opportunities for growth, instead of getting overwhelmed
by things beyond our control.
Through Stoicism, we learn to view difficulties with a constructive mindset, turning adversity
into a chance to learn, adapt, and emerge stronger.
During his rule, Aurelius found the time to construct a series of autobiographical writings,
now known as the Meditations.
These Meditations have become some of the most important texts within stoic philosophy.
And so, in this video we’ll talk about how to think positively from the philosophy of
Marcus Aurelius.
Realize The Importance Of Thought Aurelius says “It’s time you realize that
you have something in you more powerful and miraculous than the things that affect you
and make you dance like a puppet.”
Thinking is such a natural, expected, and constant activity that we often forget the
power a thought can have.
In other words: we take our thoughts for granted.
Stoics, in contrast, place a lot of importance on the act of thinking and, even more importantly,
being conscious of this act.
According to Mr.Aurelius, your thoughts determine your life.
Thoughts can paralyze and thoughts can inspire one to take action.
Take, for example, fearful thoughts.
Some people can get hung up on everything that could go wrong.
This has an effect on their body - an increase in adrenaline, shaking, nervous breathing
- as well as their actions.
Most likely, these kinds of thoughts and bodily feelings encourage someone to refrain from
taking action.
But now think of motivating thoughts: of someone who thinks of everything they could achieve
if they take a certain action, who thinks of all that they have achieved in the past,
and of all their capabilities and possibilities.
This person might not only take action but also be motivated to work very hard on the
actions they plan to take.
These are two extremes with the very same basis: a thought.
Those who never really consider what they are thinking often don’t know what it is
that’s holding them back.
To truly get to know yourself and reach your highest potential in life, it’s crucial
to pause and consider what thoughts you have.
Stoics spend a lot of time examining what goes on in their head by way of meditation,
reflection, or journaling.
For example, a very well-known Stoic tradition is the ‘Evening Reflection’: spend a fixed
amount of time in the evening to contemplate what you’ve thought that day, what effect
your thoughts had on you, and what kind of worldviews they represent.
By doing so, you know exactly what kind of thoughts are helping you move forward in life,
and what kind of thoughts are holding you back.
You can’t change anything before you know what it is that needs to change - and thus,
examining your thoughts is the very first step to changing your life.
Learn To Transform Your Thoughts To quote Aurelius “Here is a rule to remember
in future, when anything tempts you to feel bitter: not "This is misfortune," but "To
bear this worthily is good fortune.”
Our thoughts - especially the spontaneous ones - are loaded with value-judgements and
conclusions.
We automatically judge anything we come across or think about: is it fun, boring, beautiful,
ugly, successful, a failure?
Are we satisfied with our life, or unsatisfied?
Is our plan a good or bad idea?
This way of thinking might seem logical and helpful but can, in fact, be very damaging.
Oftentimes, one thinks that their judgments are based on facts, but this is rarely true.
You rarely have all the facts, and the way you assess those facts you do have is tainted
by emotions and bias.
Generally, your thoughts are not shaped by reality but by your perception of it.
And if you change your perception and consequently your thoughts - you can truly change your
life.
As soon as you’ve judged something negatively - in other words, have a negative thought
about something - it’s hard to act despite that thought.
For example, if halfway through the day you have a thought about this being an ‘awful’
day, you quickly lose the motivation to make the day better.
If you’ve deemed a person ‘annoying’, you won’t try to build a relationship with
them anymore.
Moreover, you might even linger on these kinds of thoughts and have them become recurring
complaints.
But ‘having an awful day’ might be a conclusion you draw after you have a bad interaction
with your boss, which was in reality only a fraction of your whole day.
And you could deem a person ‘annoying’ after having met them twice and barely knowing
anything about them.
The conclusions you draw are too quick and not well-considered, but they get stuck.
And the worst, most harmful part of having those kinds of thoughts, is the way they influence
the actions you take.
Not only do they prevent you from taking positive action, they can also cause you to take negative
action - such as complaining.
Most people who complain go too far with it: they spend so much of their valuable energy
on complaining that there’s even less energy left to take positive action.
Other examples of negative actions are actively avoiding people or situations.
To stop sabotaging yourself in this way, you need to learn how to transform your thoughts.
You might not be able to stop thinking negatively - after a talking-to from your boss, ‘this
is an awful day’ is a thought that could just pop up in your head spontaneously - but
you can ‘undo’ this negative judgment.
Frequent complainers have a habit of accepting a thought as ‘true’ immediately after
having it and then engaging with its negativity even more as a result.
But those with a positive mindset, those who take positive action, have cultivated a habit
of challenging their thoughts.
Challenging a thought can be done as a reflection.
After having a thought, you could spend some time reflecting on it - whether that’s immediately
after, or later in the day when you find a moment to yourself.
During this reflection, you can ask yourself questions: was my thought reasonable?
Did I feel any strong emotions at the time that could have affected my judgment?
Was my thought helpful?
‘This is an awful day’ might not be a reasonable thought.
Maybe your day went fine, except for five minutes.
In that case, you might say: ‘This was a bad moment, but my day is still good.’
But maybe your day has been disappointment after disappointment - it is, reasonably considered,
an awful day.
Then you should ask yourself: what emotions influenced this thought?
Maybe the disappointments would usually not get you down, but on this particular day you’re
not feeling so great and you can’t handle them as well.
If that’s the case, you might transform your thought into: ‘I am a little sensitive
today, so this isn’t as bad as it feels.
Soon I will feel fine again.’
And the final question is often the most transforming one: was your thought helpful?
Even if it is true that your day was reasonably, objectively bad - this is not a useful judgment.
It’s a paralyzing one.
So what would be a useful thought, instead?
‘I now have an opportunity to make this day - or the next day - better.’
Or: ‘How can I prevent these things from happening again?’
Or: ‘What can I learn from these negative circumstances?’
The answer to most of these questions leads to a certain positive action.
A good way to practice your ability to reflect and transform your thoughts is the following
exercise: for a day or two, try to interpret everything that happens to you as positive
first.
For example, if someone insults you, think to yourself: “Being insulted like this can
make me a stronger, more confident and unapologetic person.”
You’re not always going to be successful in this, but that’s fine.
It’s about building a habit.
As long as you realize that transformation, not complaining, is the end goal, you’ll
find that you might be able to put positive thoughts into action.
So resist the urge to complain and make it a habit to challenge and thus transform your
thoughts.
There is always something useful to be found in them.
Marcus Aurelius called this: ‘Turning the obstacle upside down.
Practice Premeditatio Malorum Aurelius advises us “When you wake up in
the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant,
dishonest, jealous and surly” "Premeditatio Malorum" translated as "premeditation
of evils" or "anticipation of adversity”, is a Stoic exercise that involves thinking
ahead and preparing for potential challenges.
Marcus Aurelius, a practitioner of this exercise, deliberately considered possible setbacks
each morning.
While this might seem unusual, it became a powerful tool for fostering his positive thinking.
Instead of being surprised by problems, he started each day knowing there might be difficulties
and by mentally preparing for such challenges, he was prepared to handle whatever came before
him.
He faced them calmly and flexibly, which not only helped him handle worries but also made
him stronger and more prepared for challenges.
Stoicism's approach to this negative visualizing can be compared to a sturdy oak tree in a
storm.
Problems and challenges are like strong winds and rain, but Stoicism teaches us to stand
strong and resilient instead of breaking easily.
In our modern world, this means not letting tough times crush us completely.
It's like checking the weather forecast for your life by imagining potential problems
and preparing mentally, just like an oak tree strengthens its roots.
This doesn't mean becoming pessimistic; instead, it's about being realistic and ready.
Imagine planning a big picnic with friends, and you are responsible for bringing the food.
Applying Stoicism in this situation means thinking about what could go wrong before
the picnic day arrives.
Considering possible challenges, like the weather turning rainy or dietary restrictions,
is like packing an extra umbrella and planning a menu that accommodates everyone's needs.
In the modern world, Stoicism helps us become savvy event planners, ready for unexpected
hiccups.
When the actual picnic day comes, we're better prepared for surprises, like a sudden rain
shower or last-minute dietary requests.
Ultimately, Stoicism encourages us to be like that resilient oak tree, standing tall in
the face of life's storms.
It promotes a mindset that embraces challenges with strength and adaptability, ensuring we're
better prepared to weather the storms that life may bring.
Live In The Present In the words of Marcus Aurelius “Give yourself
a gift: the present moment.”
Imagine having a thought or an idea that inspires you to take action.
You know what you want to do, why you want to do it, how you want to do it, and have
confident thoughts regarding this.
You have everything you need - or so you think.
But then you start considering the future.
And suddenly, while considering the giant realm of possibilities that the future represents,
you get anxious.
Imagine you want to go back to college to retrain yourself for a different field of
work.
You have the inspiration and confidence - but then comes the ‘what ifs.’
What if I struggle to balance work, family, and studying?
What if I'm not as successful in this new field as I hope to be?
What if I regret leaving my current job to go back to college?
What if I face health issues or other personal challenges during my studies?
While engaging in negative visualization and preparing for potential challenges can be
beneficial, consistently being anxious about the future and overly compensating is definitely
not.
Alternatively, you can get stuck in the past.
Suddenly you’re thinking about the last time you went to college, how hard it was,
and how you dropped out… and gradually you feel your confidence vanish.
The future and past are tricky subjects to think about.
Of course, it’s smart to plan for the future, and it’s a good idea to consider the past
to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again - but most people go too far with
both of these practices.
The past is over, and the future is absolutely unknowable.
The future has infinite possibilities and the effects of the past in the present is
impossible to completely accurately determine.
Thus to have these two concepts significantly impact your present is a gamble at best, and
a complete disaster at worst.
Just like value-judgements and quick conclusions, your perception of the past and future are
loaded with emotion and bias.
Marcus Aurelius believed that those who live in the past or future - by spending most of
their time and energy thinking about that - don’t truly live at all.
Holding onto the past will prevent you from growing and improving yourself and your life.
Obsessing over the future can either scare you into passivity or encourage you to take
all kinds of precautions and actions that, aside from not being guaranteed to work out,
are at the expense of your current life.
In other words: thoughts about the future or past can paralyze you, which renders you
incapable of action, or causes you to take suboptimal action.
A good way to focus on the present is to question yourself, again by practicing reflection - how
many times did you think about the past or future today?
Were those times helpful or did they increase your doubts, worries, or unhappiness?
If so, how can you let go of them quicker next time?
Another way to learn how to focus on the present is by meditation - observe all your thoughts
about the past and future as they come by, but then let them go.
By learning how to focus on the present, you learn how to take action.
Practice Gratitude In our final quote from Marcus Aurleius for
this video, he says “When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege
it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love”.
Even though Marcus Aurelius spent a lot of time dealing with battles and leading the
Roman Empire, he really appreciated the simple fact of being alive.
He found comfort in realizing how special each new day was.For him, each day is a gift
not to be taken lightly.
Waking up each morning felt like getting another opportunity, a continuation of life's journey,
and a chance to face the challenges of the day.
The emperor's appreciation for the morning was not merely a superficial acknowledgment
of the rising sun but a profound recognition of the resilience of life itself.
It reflected his Stoic philosophy, emphasizing the acceptance of the present moment and an
understanding that life unfolds in accordance with nature.
Cultivating gratitude offers a powerful tool to reshape our thinking.
By consciously practicing gratitude, we redirect our attention from what we lack to appreciating
the abundance in our lives.
This transformation goes beyond mere thankfulness; it deepens our awareness of the positive aspects
within our daily experiences.
For instance, when navigating a challenging work situation, deliberately expressing gratitude
for the chance to learn and grow from the difficulty can change our perspective.
When things don't go well, being thankful for what you've learned instead of focusing
on mistakes can make you feel stronger and more positive.
This practice urges us to recognize the fleeting nature of external events and find contentment
in the present moment.
A simple yet impactful practice is embracing the present moment and accepting it without
unnecessary resistance.
This involves acknowledging reality as it is, rather than how we wish it to be.
Think of it like this: Imagine you have a plan, like doing well at school or work, but
things don't always go exactly as you want.
Instead of getting upset or frustrated when things don't go your way, Stoicism says it's
better to accept what's happening right now, even if it's not what you expected.
This doesn't mean you give up on your goals, but you stop wasting energy being mad about
the things you can't change.
The Stoic idea is to not just accept the present, but to actually like it and be okay with it.
They call this "Amor Fati," or loving your fate.
So, if you have a tough day at work or school, instead of wishing it was different, Stoicism
suggests embracing it, finding something good in it, and using your energy to handle challenges
in a positive way.
This way, you can be more content and calm, focusing on what you can control, and not
letting things you can't bother you too much.
Another simple yet impactful practice is keeping a gratitude journal.
Each day, take a few moments to reflect on and write down three things you are grateful
for.
These can range from significant achievements to small, everyday pleasures.
By consistently engaging in this practice, you develop a habit of actively seeking and
recognizing positive aspects in your life, focusing on the present and appreciating what
you have.
Another daily gratitude practice is expressing appreciation to others.
Take the time to communicate your gratitude to friends, family, or colleagues.
This not only strengthens your relationships but also reinforces your ability to recognize
the interconnectedness of individuals and the contributions they make to your life.
Stoicism, with its emphasis on virtue and wisdom, aligns with the idea that genuine
gratitude involves recognizing the interconnectedness of one's experiences and the contributions
of others.
So, by being grateful, you not only change how you think but also see life as a shared
journey where everyone contributes something valuable.
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Thanks so much for watching.