===TRANSCRIPT START===

Astonishing Legends Network.

Disclaimer, this episode includes the usual amount of adult language and graphic discussions you've come to expect around here. But in the event it becomes an unusual amount, expect another call from me.

Welcome back to Scared All The Time. I'm Chris Cullari.

And I'm Ed Voccola.

And we have a very special episode today. This week's episode is our very first crossover episode with another podcast. In just a minute, we're going to be joined by Ally and Nat from the Let's Get Haunted podcast. And to celebrate the mix, I thought, why not cover a fear with some crossover elements as well? So we're gonna do The Bermuda Triangle, which combines a fear of flying with a fear of the ocean, with a fear of aliens, with a fear of disappearing off the face of the earth, never to be seen again, which is exactly what has happened to so many unfortunate souls who have passed through the triangle. And while we don't hear about disappearances in the triangle as much as we used to, maybe that just means whatever's happening out there is tired or full, or just pacing itself to really get going somewhere around maybe like November, 2024. But in the meantime, get in this rickety fishing boat with us as we set out to discover the mysteries of the Bermuda Triangle and try to make it back alive.

What are we scared? When are we?

Now it is time for. Time for.

Scared All The Time.

All right, everybody. Welcome back to the show for the last episode of the season. This is going to be the last episode we record before we go on a little break. It's gonna be a couple weeks, I think, while we write and record some new stuff and get the super cast up and running. And then we'll be back just like last time. So get used to this. It'll be 10 episodes on, couple weeks off.

Yeah, that's kind of what we've established. And yeah, this episode's really fun. We're really excited to let you guys hear it. Chris, I think you were saying the research on the Bermuda Triangle is kind of like, you kind of get down a road and then it kind of dissipates. Like what was, what's the situation with Bermuda Triangle?

Yeah, no, the Bermuda Triangle, it's a mystery. And a lot of the research that's been done on the Bermuda Triangle, a lot of the information that's out there is sketchy at best. Not because the people who are collecting it are necessarily sketchy, but it's a lot of rumor and hearsay and old ship tales and not a lot of concrete information outside of some of the major incidences like Flight 19, which we'll talk about in a little bit. So it's a good one to have fun with.

That's what I was thinking, yeah.

Yeah, lots of weird theories.

Seemed like the perfect thing to bring a couple of fun people around to do it with us because it gives us freedom. We're not stuck on, oh, well, here's every beat of this story that's well known or whatever. It's like, oh, no, we kind of looked at some fun stuff and had a good time. So it's a pretty fast and loose episode. It was a joy to do.

Yeah, I'd say.

And then I think the only setup we'd have for you guys is obviously if you're not into a lot of chit chat, there's the chapters provided in the description of the episode. So if you want to go straight to the stories, straight to the theories, whatever, obviously it's always an option. And there's a few things in this episode that, you know, they're visual and we don't provide a video component to this show, but any of that stuff will be in the show notes, a couple of very fun things that you can go to the show notes and see what we are seeing. And on the topic of things we were seeing, we did it over a site called StreamYard. And so it's no different than if you're on Zoom or something, you get these kind of Brady Bunch boxes and we'll address a number of times mine and Chris's placement in those boxes. So when you hear us talking about that, we're talking about our screens that we're seeing them on, which should be pretty obvious when we say it, but just in case it isn't.

Yeah, our listeners are the sharpest of the sharp, the brightest of the bright. I don't think we need to hold their hands too much on this. You guys have seen a computer before.

If you haven't, then send us, I don't know, a pigeon, a hawk, let us know what it's like out there in the world of no computers.

Yeah, contact us from the past.

If you can.

If you can.

If you can't, that's no fault of anyone. But if you can, hit us up, care of pre-COVID. That seems to be a great time to send things.

So with all that said, let's get haunted.

See what we did there? We're already having fun. Here's the show. Enjoy.

All right, without further ado, it's our pleasure to introduce two very cool, very funny people to the show right now. Ally and Nat, co-hosts of Let's Get Haunted. Welcome to Scared All The Time.

Hello.

I know you don't have a video component, but I just feel very emotive. So if the audience can just imagine me fist pumping, that would really make my evening or day, whenever you upload these.

Yeah.

And that's Ally, by the way, you heard. He was emoting a lot.

And I'm Nat. And I'm so stoked to be your first crossover ever.

Hell yeah, dude.

Are you guys nervous right now?

Always.

Always. I'm nervous every time I have to text Ed. I'm nervous every time I have to talk to my mom. Nerves is a constant. That's why we're scared all the time. That's kind of the whole idea.

I really dig the name. I do, because I feel like Panic 24-7 is one of my mottos I live by. So this is just the perfect crossover for my anxiety to yours as well.

Good, yeah.

I actually just picked up, I was at a comic convention and I was always good on Artist Ally and I see who like the just regular ass people making cool shit is, you know? And so I'm always trying to support that and I found this woman who makes this really great kind of like 1940s, 50s style art and one of them is like this woman on like a couch and like outside the window is like a nuclear explosion or whatever and it says, and I'm paraphrasing so I don't have it in front of me, but I bought it because I'm like this rules and it says like, any room can be a panic room if you just give me a fucking moment.

Right, yes, yes, peaceful. That's a beautiful little piece there you can put on your fireplace.

Yeah, certainly. Well, we don't have a fireplace.

Any place can be a fireplace if you start a fire.

That's true, any place can be a fireplace. Sorry, Chris, you were saying?

I was just gonna ask Ally and Nat before we dive into The Bermuda Triangle to tell us a little bit about yourselves. When did you get interested in The Paranormal? How did the show start? Do you have any favorite episodes you've done? Just kind of take us on a little journey through the world of Let's Get Haunted.

Nat, do you wanna?

No, no, you no. Fuck no.

I knew you were gonna say no, but I still offer.

Can we save curse words on your show?

Of course.

You can say fuck anything.

Yeah, there's no fucking way I wanna do that. You go.

We just today, right before you got on, we just got like a new message to like the website. They left like a message being like, hey, you know, you guys just swear too much. I want my kids to listen to it, but.

Oh my God.

We have people complain too.

Yeah, we got a one-star review where someone was like, this is so un-ladylike. They say the F word. They say the D word and the S word. They need to like get some manners.

They were mad that we talked about our bushes, which isn't even like.

Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

I don't even think that's like a crime, you know?

No.

Not in California.

Yeah.

I will say this guy was particularly concerned. It was both very funny to read this email and be like, I'm sorry, man. And if you're listening, sir, we are probably not going to stop swearing, but his main concern was that he wants his kids to be able to listen and he doesn't want them to think that swearing is acceptable in a professional setting.

In a professional environment, yeah.

To which I say this is the least professional environment imaginable and at least Ed and I are only doing this because we've almost failed at everything else you've ever done. So I'm sure your children, sir, will be fine.

I know. Sounds like a that guy problem. We get a lot of moms that actually, just recently, like two different moms had awesome responses to like Eatin Alive and something else where they were like, oh, my son keeps quoting Chris like hating on smurfs or whatever. He came home and he's like told my husband like, oh, smurfs sound disgusting. I would never touch a smurf.

He should never.

And I was like, oh, so we have like more than one parent who definitely listens to it with their kids and don't give a shit.

We love moms, we love dads. We just don't love people that leave one star reviews and we won't apologize for it.

Well, one star reviews for their own personal issues is annoying. Like that's a you problem. It's not an us problem that you hurt us. We should get three stars for being, I guess, well-produced enough to hear our swears, you know?

I agree.

Ally, you gotta tell them what we were supposed to tell them.

Okay, yes. Thank you very much for inviting us on, Chris and Ed. We're very, very excited. We were really excited to see that, I don't know if you were lying or not, but your email said that you've listened to us before. And so that made us very excited too. Nat and I actually met in college, so we've known each other for a very long time.

Same, same-sies.

Oh really?

Chris and I went to college together, yeah.

Oh nice.

How'd you guys meet? Or should I finish, I don't know.

Most of our one-star reviews are about me interrupting, so just get used to it. No, you finish, then we'll do ours.

Yeah.

Okay, all right. Nat and I met in college. We were like 19 or something.

We were in a sorority, but we were not liked by the sorority. They wanted to get rid of Alyssa, and then Alyssa got me as a little, and then they for sure wanted us both dead, and we just kept hanging in there. Yeah, we were-

You're talking about murder.

Yeah, no, we weren't welcome. They would have been excited if we had died. That's like, I'm gonna leave it at that. We were a problem to them in so many ways. And so, yeah.

Well, in your most recent episode, you guys dealt with, I don't know, balloon gate. You guys had some balloons pop up in your Zoom, I think.

That's so embarrassing that you guys are talking about that right now.

You don't think that's your old sorority thinking you guys had passed?

Wow. I will say a lot of people from that sorority follow me on social media, and will DM me about it. Oh, I listen to your show and stuff. Fucking fake. And I just ignore it. I know, so fake.

That's so fake.

But their beef was actually, I'm sure they didn't want us dead. They just were concerned about us representing them because we both smoked weed. And at the time, for that sorority, which was a very-

Conservative.

Prissy, yeah, I don't know. I'm trying to be, yeah, maybe conservative. It was a conservative sorority. It was a lot of fun. I had fun. We made a lot of good long lasting friendships, blah, blah, blah, whatever. But yeah, they just didn't like that we smoked weed. And so it was like a constant battle of not wanting to be represented by us. But then also, yeah, they all still follow and like will DM and stuff being like, oh, I just listened to this episode. It was so funny. And I'm like, really? Like, yeah. Take what you can get. I guess, but yeah. So in a more positive note, Nat and I really bonded because we were the two weird people that would be up really, really late at night, kind of going down a YouTube rabbit hole. And I would say this is probably before it was okay to admit that you watched YouTube or that you were invested in YouTubers. And so we kind of bonded over going down different conspiracy rabbit holes and listening to like 911 calls. I know that's dark, but like this was very novel at the time. Like, oh my God, YouTube. And you can listen to whatever you wanna listen to. And so we would like text each other at 3 a.m. and be like, are you still up? I can't sleep. I'm having a panic attack. Cause I just listened to the phone calls of people that died in 9-11 and holy shit, this is so terrible. But yeah, so that was kind of our like foray into being interested in things that are maybe a little darker. And then that quickly moved into like ghosts and paranormal stuff.

Yeah, now it seems like there's nothing off limits. Like we just talk about anything that we're not supposed to talk about if we want people to take us seriously, it seems.

You guys like next episode beheading videos. It's going to be a doozy.

We've unfortunately talked about beheading videos several times on our podcast.

Chris, you missed that 13-part series they did on beheading?

Yeah, I only got to part 11. But yeah, Ed and I met in college too. We were both at film school in Boston. And I think I first met Ed when he stayed at my apartment and then didn't leave for like weeks because he said the train shut down too early. And he was sleeping on the couch for weeks.

Well, I would play video games. I didn't have an Xbox and you guys did. And I got really into like one game, like his Elder Scrolls game.

Oh yeah, you can't leave at that point.

Yeah, and then I play it until the book, well, the T is gonna shut down, bud. I'm gonna have to just stay here, you know?

Wait, you would go to someone else's house to like hijack their Xbox console and then also like not leave?

Yeah, I didn't say I was like the best friend to have at the time.

Well, to give a little context, Emerson, and for the listeners, I guess, this is some Chris and Ed lore that we never thought we'd probably talk about, but we were at film school and Emerson was a very, everybody, like Ed probably partied more than I did, but most of us that worked on set really didn't party or do anything ecology. We would try to arrange our classes so that we could work on short films from Wednesday to Tuesday if we could and take one day of classes and then work on other people's music videos and stuff as much as possible.

That's impressive.

Ed would crash at our place, but it wasn't like anyone was there or cared. We'd just come home at three in the morning from some set and there'd be this guy playing Elder Scrolls.

Hey, look, I was a year ahead of you, so I'd already worked on all that crap. I had earned some video game time at that point. Either way, we met in college, guys. I am better about boundaries when it comes to things I don't own now, so it's fine. Everything is fine. So yes, we have that shared space. We both went to college with the co-hosts of our shows.

Yes.

I feel like, though, in order to become friends with somebody, you kind of have to push people's boundaries in order to get to know the real them. Otherwise, we would all just be like, this is my boundary, don't cross it, and we would never get to know each other. So while it is important to have boundaries in certain areas, I feel like that's how true friendships are forged. Through the adversity and the annoyance and everything negative.

I'm going to bully you until you're my friend.

Yeah.

Yeah. I was to say, in the film industry, that's part of why I think my best friends are my friends from college and from high school. Because in the film industry, a lot of the people I've met, I'm really great friends with. But because there's that work element, everyone's always very boundary, no one makes fun of each other too much, no one wants to upset anybody. So my older friends are the ones that I'm comfortable being jackass with.

That's true. That's very insightful. We're trauma-botted.

Yeah, we are. This is the last thing I'll say about our friend group because we should move on. But this is a perfect example of that, is our buddy, Pat. He moved to Brooklyn a bunch of years ago, kind of weirdly before it was like everyone did, and he's since left. But I remember him being like, hey, you should come check out my apartment in the city, man. Come check it out. I'm from Connecticut, so it's like a little over an hour train ride into the city. So I'm like, okay, sure. I'll come check it out. I get there, he is sitting on the fucking tailgate of a U-Haul. And I'm like, come check out your apartment. He's like, oh yeah, yeah, by checkout, I mean help me move in. If I had said it, like, you probably wouldn't have come, right? I'm like, yeah, of course I wouldn't. It's a fucking nightmare.

That is so, wow. No, that's bold. I like that.

I love that.

Yeah, that's the level of like the tightness of this friend group though is like, all right, fine, you idiot.

I like that. Yeah, cause what are you going to do then? You're already there. It's like an hour back to where you came from.

Minimum, yeah.

Yeah.

So anyway, Chris, next question.

Yeah, well, I think we've kind of discovered that these podcasts are even more similar than I already thought. We're America's number one fear-based podcasts and you two are the only investigative journalism about shit that may or may not have even happened in the first place, which I think is kind of perfect. So I just want to say to the listeners that if you haven't heard of Let's Get Haunted somehow, you're gonna have a good time listening. Go check them out. It's like finding 175 new episodes of Scared All The Time, but better. So all that said, when we first got in contact with Nat and Ally, I asked them to send us their top fears so that we could try to build an episode around what scares them. And I wanted to ask, you guys mind if I share your responses?

Go for it, please.

All right, so Ally's top three, I believe that the top one was death, which I think we can all agree is very scary. I would say sort of the end state of pretty much all other fears. It's sort of like all fears result in death, all squares are rectangles or whatever. That's the thing. Airplanes, which we just did an episode on, so I didn't want to build around that. But then last and not least, we have submechanophobia. So Ally, can you tell us a little bit about submechanophobia?

All right, for the listeners, imagine have you ever been kayaking and you're getting closer to a buoy in the water and you're like, wow, this buoy is not only disgusting because it's old and rusty and covered in slime, but it's also menacing and I can't put my finger on it. I just know that it's absolutely, I don't want to be near it at all. I'm going to give it a wide berth, right? So I didn't realize that there is a name for this fear until we were doing an episode on the SS Cam Loops, which is a shipwreck that occurred in Lake Superior. I forget what year this was, like the 1900s at some point. And I was looking at different pictures of this shipwreck and I was just so skeezed out. And one of the parts of the episode was about how manmade things under the water can induce a fear in humans called submechanophobia. And scientists aren't really sure why. And it doesn't have to be completely submerged in water. It could be half submerged in water. You could be able to see the mast of a ship sticking out of water and it could still freak you out. Cars in lakes, like we did an episode on Lake Lanier. That episode was so disgusting to me just because of cars in lakes. The idea that you're just in a fishing boat and you look down and some guy is just dead in there with his tail lights on, like pointing up to the sky. Like that is so gross to me and it just scares me and it makes me so uncomfortable.

So the scariest part of Psycho for you wasn't the shower scene. It was when Norman lowers the car into the pond in the back of the hotel. You're like, oh God, please, please.

I didn't make that connection, but yes.

There's a pond, not even a lake, a pond that was dredged by me. Well, not by me here, by me in Connecticut, by where I grew up, which tried to solve 6,000 crimes in an afternoon, I guess. And when they dredged it, it was just like car, car, million guns with their serial number shaved off.

That's so fucking true.

And it was just like, man, this pond, this pond can talk. But anyway.

It's so true. Yeah, I always fall down those YouTube rabbit holes of like guys that'll go diving into rivers and streams and lakes and pull out, like they'll film themselves on GoPros, underwater GoPros. And you just see them coming upon gun, knife, gun, knife, car. Yeah. And you're just thinking, good Lord.

Yeah, I think there was like a 75 year history where it was just like, if I throw this away, I'm gonna get away with it for sure. Like it was no DNA yet. It was just like, all right, did the crime and toss it in fucking this lake. This lake and lived to a ripe old age and then died of natural causes. Like no one gets in trouble for the longest time if you just use, I don't know, three feet of water to keep you out of jail.

For sure. It's Italian's greatest contribution to nature is cars and guns. Backed in it.

Salute to the Italians listening to this right now. You're a resourceful bunch.

So sub-becanophobia was kind of, when I saw that a little bell went off because when I looked at Nat's greatest fears, number three is demons, which obviously, of course, great. Number two is unfulfilled dreams, which holy shit, do Ed and I have plenty of those. But number one is thalassophobia. Now, so Nat, can you tell us a little bit about thalassophobia?

I knew this was gonna happen. Alyssa wrote thalassophobia. Alyssa, what does thalassophobia mean?

We have had so many conversations where Nat's like, ew, a lake, it's like slimy on the bottom and you get so much water. And you don't know what's down there. Yeah, and oceans, yeah.

Yeah, so basically, I just have this fear of like, I guess you would describe it as like the opposite of claustrophobia. Like when things just go infinite forever, right? Like imagine like a huge ocean that just extends throughout the horizon forever. Or the idea of space, like thinking about how far away the stars are and things. It just, it makes me feel uneasy, you know? Just like the vastness of it, cause it just feels unsafe. It feels like you could just fall off or you could just get lost or there's nothing grounding you. There's nothing to hold on to. Half of me is like scared of that. And the other half of me is like, stop being such a pussy. It's like water, you know? Like shut up, like stupid.

No, I mean, Ed and I have talked about how we could probably do a whole season on oceans, mostly because of the fear of just the vastness of it and how many things can go wrong.

No, we are both guys that seaweed touches our foot. We're the worst people to be around for the rest of the day. We're shocked.

Yeah, forget about it.

The beach isn't fun anymore. We're like, did you see what touched me? Something. Anyway, don't talk to me.

No, I would never venture in.

I stepped on a skate once and was like, I probably never need to go to the beach again. And their skates are like those little, they're like little ray, not manta rays, but they're like little flat bastards. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's gross.

It's like, why are they gotta be flat? What are they trying to do? Why are they gotta fucking be flat?

I know, I know. They should have flags.

You know what? That's a sus form to take.

Yeah.

I agree, I agree.

Flat?

Yeah, Flat Stanley was the worst. I never trusted that guy in kindergarten. Do you guys know who I'm talking about? You looked at me so blank.

No, he like travels, you send him around to people and they like take pictures.

Yeah.

Something like that.

Yeah, it was like a drawing of a kid, like a 2D literal drawing of a kid, and then somebody would take him home from class and take a photo of him somewhere. Somebody else would take him home, take a photo of him somewhere else.

Right.

You guys both had Flat Stanley?

I have heard of Flat Stanley.

I know Stick Stickly.

Yeah.

Is that a stick?

Kind of a similar idea.

He was just a popsicle stick on Nickelodeon.

Yeah, he was like a little popsicle stick guy, but I don't think they took pictures of him places.

Nickelodeon had the best just random characters though, like Face. Do you guys remember Face?

Oh yeah, Face was just the whole screen and he's got a little.

Yeah, Face was amazing, Stick Stickly.

They had that Inside Out Boy for a bit. Does anyone remember Inside Out Boy?

Who went over the top of the swing and turned inside out.

Yeah, he went over the top of the swing, he became Inside Out.

Yeah.

Ew. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a fun body horror. I feel like David Cronenberg would make the Inside Out Boy movie.

Oh, 100% would.

Disgusting.

That does seem Cronenberg-esque.

Well, I assumed both of your watery fears would be triggered by the idea of the Bermuda Triangle and floating across a massive expanse of deep water with God knows what kind of wrecks rotting beneath the surface, just floating covered in seaweed, rusting, maybe a little skeleton in the pilot seat with its jaw wide open. I assume most people listening to this have some sense of what the Bermuda Triangle is, but for the uninitiated, let's hit a quick definition. From botanica.com, the Bermuda Triangle is a section of the North Atlantic Ocean in which more than 50 ships and 20 airplanes are said to have mysteriously disappeared. The area whose boundaries are not universally agreed upon has a triangular shape that reaches approximately from the Atlantic coast of Florida to Bermuda to the islands known as the Greater Antilles. Reports of unexplained occurrences in the region date to the mid 19th century. Some ships were discovered completely abandoned for no apparent reason. Others transmitted no distress signals and were never seen or heard from again. Aircraft have been reported to have vanished and rescue missions are said to have vanished when flying in the area. However, wreckage has never been found and some of the theories advanced to explain the repeated mysteries have been fanciful. So I'm not sure about the specific number of vehicles that have gone missing in the Triangle. In my research, it seems like that 50-20 number comes up a lot, but I did watch a YouTube video that claimed 2,000 ships and 200 planes have gone missing, which seems hilariously high to me. Even over a century, I feel like the military would get involved if 2,000 ships went missing. That's too many. In any case, the first mention of the area known as the Bermuda Triangle didn't really come until the mid 20th century in 1964, when a writer named Vincent Gaddis catalogued the many catastrophes that had taken place there since the late 1800s in a pulp magazine called Argosy. 10 years later, the paranormal enthusiast Charles Berlitz released a bestselling book about the Bermuda Triangle, aptly named The Bermuda Triangle, which went on to sell more than 14 million copies. And that's when everybody read books. You could actually be like an author that made money. That guy made so much money.

And triangles had their time, like from Pythagoras. They had like 2,000 strong years.

That's true. That's true.

To have like a fucking resurgence on triangle material is pretty good.

Yeah, I think triangles reached their peak personally with Subway cheese. I like the way that they tessellate the cheese on the sandwiches. It's very satisfying. And I feel like it's been an all downhill since then for triangles.

Yeah. You get cheese in the hand of artists. I mean, sandwich artists. It's gonna work out for you.

And then in 1994, when I was in second grade, I wrote a book called True But Strange, Unsolved Mysteries, volume two.

You guys, Chris is holding up like a very childlike, yet professional and definitely full of true things book. You know, like it looks like it's been like bound at Kinko's.

Yeah.

You guys know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, with the spiral binding.

Maybe Kinko's is no longer.

I want the kids to know about Kinko's.

Yeah, the title page is like written in crayon.

Yeah, and laminated. It says, what does it say? Unsolved Mysteries?

Yeah, give us the title again.

True But Strange, Unsolved Mysteries, volume two.

Yeah, it's written in crayon. It's amazing.

This book sold zero copies.

So far.

Is that like a comet or did you cross out a word? What's this like black streak across this front?

It's an underline.

Oh, so well, you guys can't probably see very well on my shitty laptop camera, but it's a green patch of land with a giant footprint because Bigfoot is one of the subjects.

What happened to the first version?

Yeah, why did you name these books like the way people name boats?

A boy of culture.

Because honestly, you wanna know, I'm pretty sure it's because I had checked out the Time Life Mysteries of the Universe or whatever books at the library about Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster. I think those were all like volume one, volume two.

So is this plagiarized or is this an original work?

No, so this is research. Let's say research. It's probably plagiarized. But the reason that I bring this book up is because chapter four of this book is about the Bermuda Triangle.

Oh wow.

So I thought it would be fun for second grade Chris to guide us in this journey through the Bermuda Triangle.

This is too emotional and cute right now. I'm really hating myself for not being smart as a second grader and being like, you gotta fucking write a paranormal shit because later, 25 years from now, you need to have a show. Why didn't I plan that?

This is such a full circle moment.

You can start with your kid right now. You could say, get writing little kid.

That's true, you're right.

True, true.

I'm sure you had a much better second grade experience than I did. In the early 90s, maybe it's changed, but I doubt it has. In the early 90s, you did not want to be the kid writing the book about ghosts and monsters and aliens and trying to tell everybody that it was real.

Is that what happened to volume one, some bully threw it into traffic?

No, I still have volume one. But it just doesn't have anything on the Bermuda Triangle in it.

Sure, okay, stop bragging now.

Listen Ed, I've sold volume one, the rights are gone, so I can't talk about it. I can't talk about it on the pod.

Your mom bought it?

She set up a shell company.

Yeah, but she used her real name. It was MomCullariLLC or something stupid.

Great job, Chris LLC.

My sweet boy, LLC.

So second grade Chris's chapter on the Bermuda Triangle starts like this. Chapter four, the Bermuda Triangle. It all started when Flight 19 disappeared on December 5th, 1945. Gone, poof, whoosh, zap, bang, zoop.

There's so many onomatopoeias.

So many. Five US Navy torpedo bombers gone. Many more unexplained disappearances and strange happenings have been reported. Now, before I tell some stories about the Bermuda Triangle, you should know at least a little about the Bermuda Triangle. Here are some things you might wanna know.

That's a page turn for the audience.

Yeah. The disappearance of Flight 19 is the most well-known Bermuda Triangle disappearance. So second grade Chris, good job. You did get that right. I don't think their disappearance involved probably as many sound effects as I included, but I think I was trying-

Zoop. Zoop.

I was trying to engage-

Not one zoop on the day.

I was trying to engage the theater of the mind. So if you've ever heard about the Bermuda Triangle, it's probably because of Flight 19. If you haven't, you're not gonna hear much else about it on this episode because Astonishing Legends did a insanely thorough deep dive as they always do that we would encourage you to go check out. We'll put a link in the show notes. They did it better than we will. So don't worry if you haven't heard that episode or if you haven't heard of Flight 19, you won't be missing much in the way of lore because Bermuda Triangle lore is nothing, if not inconsistent. Partially because so many people who experience something strange never make it home to tell us about it. And I would also just like to point out that despite second grade Chris's claim that this quote all started in 1945, Flight 19 is far from the first disappearance in the Bermuda Triangle. In fact, I apparently knew this as a kid because the next page says, here are the facts. There's only three of them. And one of them is in the 1800s, four ships that were listed disappeared. So if ships were disappearing in the 1800s, the mystery clearly didn't start in 1945. I blame my editor for letting me contradict myself. The other two facts I apparently wanted people to know were that in the 1900s, 27 listed ships disappeared in the triangle. I underlined and bolded listed because I guess I wanted to suggest maybe there were unlisted ships that disappeared. And then the most useful fact that I wrote here is the Bermuda Triangle is located between Bermuda, Puerto Rico and Florida. So good job, second grade me, this is true. Although as I have learned prepping this episode, different researchers placed the boundaries slightly differently, usually to account for a case that they would like to include that maybe doesn't quite fit. And this has caused difficulties in Bermuda Triangle research because if you start changing the boundaries in the open ocean, the area you're talking about shifts by literally millions of square kilometers. So the standard arrangement of vertices on the Bermuda Triangle covers about 1.3 million square kilometers, but I've seen the area of the Bermuda Triangle cited at as high as 3.9 million square kilometers, which is like a difference of 3.5 million, which at that point, just call it the Atlantic Triangle or a point in New Jersey or something. You're stretching at that point. So the next page of True Bloods, Trains, Unsolved Mysteries chapter four dives into the story of Bruce Gernon's trip through the Bermuda Triangle.

What is that drawing you did? Is that a shark?

This is a guy in a plane flying into a definitely not penis shaped cloud.

That is definitely a half banana half dick at best. Or at least I guess. It definitely seems strongly those things I just said.

Look, if it's a cloud, it's a cloud, but that cloud is all shaft.

To be fair, Bruce himself uses the phrase shaft in a little bit.

So stick around listener.

So this is the story of Bruce Gernon and his journey through the Bermuda Triangle. On December 4th, 1970, Bruce Gernon Jr. and his dad were flying in Bruce's plane from an island in the Bahamas to Palm Beach. Then, at an altitude of 10,500 feet, they saw a cigar-shaped cloud. They had to go in it. When they were in it, they seemed to go around and around. Ahead, Brucey saw a blue sky, at least that's what they thought. It was actually a greenish-white haze. They were weightless for a moment. Bruce said to his dad, instruments are out, the compass is crazy. I can't contact with ground control. Suddenly, Miami crackled over the radio. Bruce and his dad got through alive, but there are a few questions to be answered. Like, how did they get over 200 miles in 45 minutes when it usually took 75 minutes?

This is second grade Chris that posited this question?

Yes. Well, I like the Bermuda Triangle.

You were very advanced.

Not in the arts department. Your writing skills were primo. Everything you drew was a dick at that time.

I mean, Hawaii population won. All others missing in Bermuda Triangle. This guy would be categorized as a racist caricature in 2024, but I didn't know better. I'm sorry.

That's so cute. Hawaii population won, all others lost. That's very adorable.

That's cute for you guys that can't see, there's like a little tiny island with one palm tree and there's a guy sitting on there with a Hawaiian shirt and it says, there's a sign that says Hawaii population won, all others missing due to Bermuda Triangle. That's very cute.

Which we have every reason to believe that that guy made. He also just thought that was Hawaii. It's a lump of dirt in the ocean.

It probably should have said Miami. Hawaii is on the other side.

That's true.

Well, we don't know how the Bermuda Triangle works. That's the whole thing about it, right? So maybe it does shoot you out to Hawaii.

That would be awesome.

That's true, it could be a portal.

Second grade Chris is discounting portals, and as a former writer of Rick and Morty, I have to say, that's not okay.

I did not know we were among two celebrities. The author of Unsolved Mysteries, Volume Two, what was the name of that book? And a former writer on Rick and Morty.

And Nat lives in Atlanta, home of Adult Swim.

Yeah, that's true.

So together, we almost make a show.

When I went back into the research on Bruce Gernon's story, it turns out I did get a couple of details wrong. There was a third person on the plane, in addition to Bruce and his dad. He was a business partner of theirs, who was flying with them to scope locations for a building project they were gonna do. And Bruce didn't fly through just one cloud. He flew through two. The first cloud was smaller and then seemed to connect with a larger one. And there was also no green haze. I don't know where that came from, but there was a tunnel of clouds that wrapped the plane so tightly that Bruce says he saw his wingtip slicing through puffy white clouds on both sides of the plane. In his words from an interview in 2001, the break in the cloud now formed a perfect horizontal tunnel, one mile wide and more than 10 miles long. We could see the clear blue sky on the other side. We saw that the tunnel was rapidly shrinking. I increased the engine RPM, bringing our speed to the caution area of 230 miles an hour. When we entered the tunnel, its diameter had narrowed to only 200 feet. I was amazed at what the, what's that Ed? Shaft now looked like.

Why did you address me? They were the ones who were interested in shafts.

Oh, that's true, right.

I'm only interested in elevator shafts, bro.

That was, I think, Sedna.

It was Ally.

I love a good shaft.

They were amazed at what the shaft now looked like. It appeared to be only a mile long, instead, it's a mile long shaft, instead of 10 plus, as I had originally estimated. Light from the afternoon sun shone through the exit hole and made the silky white walls glow. The walls were perfectly round and slowly constricting. All around the edges were small puffs of clouds of a contrasting gray swirling counterclockwise around the airplane. We were in the tunnel for only 20 seconds before we emerged from the other end. For about five seconds, I had the strange feeling of weightlessness and an increased forward momentum. When I looked back, I gasped to see the tunnel walls collapse and form a slit that slowly rotated clockwise.

This is a very sexual description.

I know, we're at tunnels, slits.

Perfectly round, milky white clouds, a slit and a shaft in close proximity.

I mean, you're not wrong. Sometimes in our alien abduction episodes, Ed and I dove a little deep on how much of some of these things people experience are just weird subconscious projections of pent-up sexual energies because so many alien abduction stories are also very sexual. I agree with you, his description of this is wildly sexual.

So is it like if you are not sexually satisfied, you're more likely to be abducted by aliens and or have a paranormal experience?

I mean, I don't know if there's any research on that.

I can text my exes if you want. Be like, yo, you see any bright lights? You do any time on the ship?

I would say that like, I think particularly alien abductions, and honestly, I do think somebody probably a psychologist should do some research into that because so many alien abductions are very, they're so body-focused, they're so invasive. There's lots of stories of people who have had sex with aliens or have had their eggs pulled out, their sperm pulled out. Like it's always very reproductive focused kind of thing. And I don't know, I would be curious to know if there's a connection at all because just reading stories, sometimes it does sort of seem like there is, but you know, who am I to say?

I don't know if this is relevant or not, but when I was in college, I took a class on fairy tales. And one of our projects was to look at the oldest version of fairy tales that were available and then come up with some, I don't remember exactly what it was. I don't know if we were assigned topics or what, but somehow I ended up having to write a paper on how the sexual repression of the Puritan and Quaker movements in the US led to us having to also repress the old stories of the fairy tales and Disney-fy them. But what that's actually turned into is this burgeoning porn scene where there's like, now we're putting the sex back into the fairy tales and there's a whole genre of fairy tale porn. And so I don't know, maybe some of the alien stuff could be sort of related to that. Maybe if you come from a background that is sort of sexually repressed, you're more likely to have paranormal experiences that are sexual. I don't know.

Interesting.

That all sounds plausible to me.

There's a whole, somebody actually Ed emailed us or messaged us. Our buddy Kevin from Austin messaged us because there is a documentary called Love and Saucers, I think, or Love and Aliens, something like that, about a guy who claims that he has been having sex with aliens for like decades, and he's done hundreds of paintings of his encounters with these aliens. And he was like, you guys should do like a live stream watching this. And I was like, absolutely. That sounds awesome.

I'll do it.

I'm jealous. I've never even seen an alien, let alone seen an alien's shaft.

Me either.

Feel free to join us in this live stream of this documentary.

Unfortunately, on this episode, we're only talking cloud shafts, but aliens definitely are out there in shaft worlds as well.

You hear that skinny Bob? Skinny Bob's got fucking-

Yeah, skinny Bob.

Skinny Bob lays pipe, dude.

Look, he not only has a thick neck, but we've heard tale of other areas.

Isn't Bob like another nickname for Dick too? So his name's like Skinny Dick?

Shit, dude.

That's Richard. But Robert is close to Richard.

We don't know. We've got listeners from all over the world, turns out. And let us know if anybody, where you're from, if fucking Bob's your dick.

Yeah, Bob's your uncle.

Bob's your uncle. The Canadians would say for sure, or anyone in the Commonwealth.

Yeah. So this spinning slit that's slowly rotating clockwise and collapsed leads to Bruce introducing an idea that he has been researching and chasing ever since this incident occurred, something he calls electronic fog. So to quote him again, all of our electronic and magnetic navigational instruments were malfunctioning. The compass was slowly spinning even as the airplane flew straight. I contacted Miami and told them we were about 45 miles southeast of Bimini heading east at 10,500 feet. The radar controller replied he was unable to identify us anywhere in that area. Something bizarre had happened. Instead of the blue sky we expected, everything was a dull grayish white haze. Visibility seemed like more than two miles, yet we could not see the ocean, the horizon or the sky. And just as a small aside here, this is something that Flight 19 also noted in their last transmissions. There's a famous exchange over the radio that one of the pilots said, we cannot be sure of any direction. Everything is wrong, strange. The ocean doesn't look as it should.

Oh, I just got the chills.

That is so creepy.

Back to Bruce, he says, the air was very stable and there was no lightning or rain. I like to refer to this as an electronic fog because it seemed to be what was interfering with our instruments. I had to use my imagination to feel our way west, which I'm a creative person, I love creatives, but I hope to never be on a plane where the pilot is using his imagination to take me anywhere. Pilots and doctors, never use your imagination, just stay right here, focus.

No creativity.

Grounded in reality, please.

Please. So he says, we were in the electronic fog for three minutes when the controller radioed that he had identified an airplane directly over Miami Beach flying due west. I looked at my watch and saw that we had been flying for less than 34 minutes. We could not yet have reached Miami Beach. We should have been approaching the Bermuda Islands. Suddenly the fog started breaking apart in a weird sort of electronic fashion. Long horizontal lines appeared in the fog on either side of us. The lines widened into slits about four or five miles long. We saw a blue sky through them. The slits continued expanding and joined together. Within eight seconds, all the slits had joined and the gray fog had disappeared. All I could see was brilliant blue sky as my pupils adjusted to the abrupt increase in brightness. Then I saw the barrier island of Miami Beach directly below. After we landed at Palm Beach, I realized the flight had taken a little less than 47 minutes. I thought something must have been wrong with the airplane's timer, yet all three of our watches showed that it was 3:48 p.m. I had never made it from Andros, which is where they had left from, to Palm Beach in less than 75 minutes, even on a direct route. Our course on this flight was indirect and probably covered close to 250 miles. How could the airplane travel 250 miles in 47 minutes? And that's the question Bruce has spent the rest of his life trying to answer. He believes that there is this unstudied atmospheric phenomenon that he's dubbed electronic fog, which, to listeners of one of the last episodes and Ed, I think electronic fog sounds like a band that would tour with the hose boys.

Oh, yeah, the hose boys is a long story. Constant, stupid inside joke.

They should tour the hose boys. Electronic fog is different from electric fog, which is a very real and well-known thing, also called St. Elmo's Fire.

Oh, yeah.

Got a couple of St. Elmo's Fire fans here.

Yeah, we know what that is. It's like ball lightning, right?

It's green, weird, reflective. There's videos on YouTube that pilots have taken of St. Elmo's Fire, and it's like, I just remember it looking totally green.

Yes.

It looks like the thing, I don't know if they still have these stores, but if you go into Spencer's gift store or something, and there's that little ball that has a, and you touch it, and it makes little electrical tentacles go on your finger. I don't know what that thing is called, but it has something to do with static electricity or something. That's what it looks like, right?

Yes.

Yeah, that's actually a perfect description.

Exactly. Take that, Amelia Westavez. We're not talking about your St. Elmo's Fire.

So electronic fog is different from that. Bruce's version of electronic fog possesses strange, physical, almost supernatural properties, and he thinks is responsible for the disappearance of ships and planes, not just in the Bermuda Triangle, but all over the world. His theory basically is that this atmospheric effect, whatever causes it, can create slips in time and space, and he feels that it might be more common in the area of the Bermuda Triangle, but it's not bound by the Bermuda Triangle.

So then where the electric fog, in his words, or based off of what he thinks, it makes planes and things like that just go to a different time, so they no longer exist in this realm, or what?

Yeah, is it like a final countdown situation?

So kind of. So Bruce has posted a whole series of YouTube videos about this.

Oh, Bruce is still with us.

Bruce is still with us. And I don't know what to make of him. He's been on over, he claims he's been in over 60 television shows, documentaries, radio broadcasts about the Bermuda Triangle. He's published two books. He has a website, electronicfog.com.

Hell yeah, dude.

Where he sells merch.

Oh, wow.

So he's-

He has merch for electronic fog.

He does.

I gotta look it up.

And by the way, Nat and Ally, we will be sending you electronic fog merch as a thank you for coming on the show.

A one way, all expenses paid ticket to the middle of the Bermuda Triangle.

Hell yeah, dude. Next year, maybe we'll be able to, but this year we'll just have to send you shirts.

For electronic fog?

Yeah, sure.

electronicfog.com, yeah.

I'm looking it up.

I think Natalia's looking it up, so I'm sure we'll get a debrief at some point.

All this to say, he's a little vague on what exactly this electronic fog is and does, other than it's some sort of phenomena that yes, Ken, it seems to be attracted to planes, ships, things with electronics. He says in one of the quotes he has about this cloud that he was flying into, he talks about how at one point it seemed like he was chasing him, like it was drawn to him, and he believes that yes, when you go into this fog, it sort of scrambles reality, I guess, and can spit you out places where you shouldn't be in times that you shouldn't have been able to get there.

That's creepy.

Yo, this merch is kind of dope. This merch is hard, I'm not going to lie.

Hold it up.

Okay, so Nat's saying the merch just goes hard.

It's a white t-shirt, and it just has a bunch of clouds on it on the front, and it says, enter the Bermuda Triangle, and then on the back, it's got a plane going through a time warp and it says travel through time.

Shit, dude. What's the prices on that? When you look at that in terms of monetary value, if it's anything over 20, you guys might be getting stickers. Yeah.

Sizes medium to large are 17.99 plus shipping.

Just email us your sizes, you guys will both get.

These are cool.

Yeah, for sure you're getting them.

I like how they styled it too. Oh wow.

Bruce has drip.

Dude, that's dope. It's fucking really fantastic.

Where's the Scared All The Time merch? That's what we want.

We'll send you that too. It should be coming out the week after we record this.

Oh wow.

Whoa, you can just call these people. It says call us today and I just pressed call and it's like, call this number? Like you can just call them.

Should we call them live on the show?

I'm too awkward. You guys can.

See if you can call Bruce.

I hate talking to people I don't know. Oh wait, now the website automatically blocked me from starting a call.

Well, we'll try later.

Yeah, we'll try later.

I drove through Roswell once and I stopped in this wine store and gave them a bottle of my family's wine and was like talking to-

I'm sorry, what?

What?

You're just gonna fucking cruise over your family as bottles of wine?

Yeah.

They immigrated from Italy and we've been making wine in the basement since I was a kid. They have the old-

Oh, that's cool.

They have the old like wine, whatever and they bottle it.

You make like prison wine in the toilet?

Right, yeah, you're giving them just like illegal wine.

Hey, you want something with no FDA approval whatsoever?

No, it's made from grapes. It's not made from like Robitussin and applesauce or whatever.

I feel like the Food and Drug Administration here in the States is like so regulated that like if you tried to sell like anything as a food product, they would be like absolutely fucking literally not.

That's why you have to give it in some sort of Area 51 barter apparently.

My buddy and I were driving cross country and we'd spent quite, we'd been drinking in this wine shop. They were like giving us samples and they, because it's a super tiny, I don't know if you've been to Roswell, but it's a really tiny town. And we were just hanging out there. And at some point, since I was driving wine to LA, I was like, oh, I'll give this guy some of my family's wine since we've been drinking all of his. And I brought it in and he started to drink it. And he told me at one point, he was like, this is making me sick. Yeah, he just started, his eyes turned red. No, he was like, you know, I know the guy who built the coffins for the aliens.

What?

And I was like, excuse me. And he was like, yeah, you know, they say that they brought the little caskets out there and they put the bodies in and they took them out in the little caskets. And he was like, if you want, you can call him. And I was like.

Unprompted?

Yeah, it was one of those moments where I was like, either this guy has gotta be at this point pushing a hundred and is going to be like, who the fuck are you and why are you calling me? Who gave you this number? And like.

We're here to call you about reverse mortgages.

And I ended up not calling him because I was like, he gave me the number and I never called because I just felt like I didn't want the illusion to be shattered and I didn't want to end up on the phone talking to like a confused old man who was like, I don't know what you're talking about. So I get it. So Bruce Gerson.

I feel like there was probably more to that story, but we don't want to keep anybody here any longer than we need to. But I do love it when you're like, oh yeah, Bruce Gerson in the middle of your crazy let's call the fucking casket makers.

Yeah.

No, there was, I had the number and I just didn't call it because I felt weird about it and I didn't want, I knew that if I called and it was just a guy who was confused and very old, that it would kind of sour me on the Roswell myth. So I was just like, eh.

You're like me, you're too soft. Like I'm too soft. I'm like looking at that number and I'm like, if I call this person, it's like the middle of the night, they're going to wake up and they're going to be like, what? And I'm like, I'm doing a podcast on this like time in your life that I'm sure is one of the lowest points of your life. Now you've like had to make an entire thing out of it because it's like happened to you. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was just like, fuck no. I'd rather just believe that this is true and never call this guy. But speaking of UFO mythology, Bruce, if you go watch these videos that he's posted on YouTube, he, I don't know what to make of him because he doesn't have the charisma of a charlatan, like a Dr. Stephen Greer or some of the other grifters in the UFO space. He's not like making endless promises or hosting live streams or saying the government is silencing him. He just kind of talks to the cadence of a Tim and Eric character about the time that he flew into a cloud and doesn't know what happened. I did find this very funny. In the introduction to his book, Beyond The Bermuda Triangle, he does let it slip that he might be a little bit gullible. He tells the reader, in this book, I'll take you to meet physics professor, David Paris, a former army meteorologist who believes my experience holds an important key to creating a warp drive that can take us to the stars. Amazingly, Paris is building such a ship in his garage. So I don't know about his ability to determine fact from fiction, although to be fair, I looked it up and amazingly, David Paris is actually building a warp drive in his garage. I'm not sure it works, but he is a real guy who is an actual physicist who thinks that it works. So I don't know, maybe I'm the dummy. I don't know.

That's awesome.

I trust him.

I trust him. I want to go visit the warp drive.

That's some like weird science stuff, you know?

Yeah.

That's cool. That's like an 80s movie.

Oh my God, I tried to make this warp drive and I got this babe, this babe came out that I will for the purposes of this PG-13 movie, never hit on. Hell yeah, Kelly LeBrock, is she still with us? I hope so. Kelly LeBrock, what's up? Hit us up.

Gotta be, gotta be. In any case, that takes us to the end of second grade Chris's chapter on the Bermuda Triangle. The last page reads, what would you do if you went through the Bermuda Triangle? In the back of this book, there's some pieces of paper that say Bermuda Triangle fill-in sheet. In small printing, write what you would do. On your next trip to Bermuda, and then in very large capital bolded letters, it says, do not go through the Bermuda Triangle.

Second grade Chris.

That's cute.

Second grade Chris is just looking out for everybody.

I just want to give him a hug.

Second grade Chris then packed up his second grade briefcase, and ate alone again in the cafeteria. Yes.

Well, Ed and I talked about how we both had our own X-Files.

We did as kids, yes.

And the difference was Ed kept his in a filing cabinet home. I brought mine to school in a briefcase. So Ed had an easier time than I did because I was like, do you guys want to know about what happened to this guy who got kidnapped by a Bigfoot? In second grade they were like, no.

They were like, we just want to trade gushers and play kickball.

That's the advice I gave Chris.

So with that, we know that Bruce has his theory about electronic fog causing disappearances in the Bermuda Triangle, but there are many other theories out there about what might be responsible for the dozens of ships and planes and potentially hundreds of humans' lives lost out there. So next, I want to read from an article in Popular Mechanics called Seven Chilling Conspiracy Theories About the Bermuda Triangle. Before I read, do you guys have any guesses as to what these conspiracy theories might be?

There's got to be aliens thrown in there, right?

Correct.

I don't know what other conspiracy. Oh, maybe it's like a military thing, like a military portal.

You would be correct. That would be a conspiracy. I will spoil this. This article, I think is confused about what conspiracies are, but the ideas are interesting.

Conspiracy number one, everyone's just lying. They just totally missed the mark.

Conspiracy number one is Atlantis.

Oh, my God. You didn't let me answer. I was going to say Atlantis.

Oh, fuck. I'm sorry.

I'm also pretty basic. I'm basic as a human, so I get it.

It was the author of the best-selling Bermuda Triangle book himself, Charles Berlitz, who came forward with the idea that the lost city of Atlantis was somehow responsible for the shipwrecks and plane crashes in the Bermuda Triangle. Since then, others have piled on to this theory, arguing that technology developed by Atlanteans, including crystal energies, is still active on the sea floor, causing mechanical malfunctions in the boats and planes above. Popular Mechanics notes that the biggest flaw in this theory is that Atlantis isn't real.

How dare they? Such a dick thing to write.

Buzzkill. Also, unclear what the conspiracy there would be other than Atlantis may be Israel and they're part of the conspiracy by saying it isn't. Conspiracy number two, rogue waves. Again, not a conspiracy theory.

That's literally 100% just the normie theory.

That's just a theory.

That's just a weather phenomena.

From the article, this ocean be crazy.

Popular Mechanics says, a rogue wave is an unusually large and unpredictable swell of water, typically twice as tall as the waves around it. A few years ago, scientists at the University of Southampton in England claimed that the waters of the Bermuda Triangle were especially ripe for rogue waves due to storms moving in from all sides. Some of the waves the researchers posited could reach 100 feet in height. While the scientists' work garnered a ton of attention, it couldn't explain what would cause an airplane to crash in the Bermuda Triangle. The theory here being that this would take care of some of the boat disappearances.

I see. Yes, but it wouldn't affect the planes.

Unless the wave was really tall, if the wave was really tall like in that one planet and what's that movie with Matthew McConaughey where you get interstellar. If it was like interstellar.

I wonder.

Which was based on science, so basically true.

Which was based on this article of seven conspiracies about the Bermuda Triangle.

I guess that's a good question. How tall could a wave in the middle of the ocean get without anyone knowing that it was that tall?

Look how quickly you became second grade, Chris, again. Positing questions.

I'm just wondering because you have a thousand foot wave that no one... Because the ocean is fucking huge, so you could have a giant wave.

Facts.

Yeah. If there was, I don't know, hidden sandbars or something like that, the wave could crash and become smaller before it got to shore and became a tsunami, so we would not even know.

Right.

I know Alyssa is going to be like, well, there's sensors all over the ocean because I've done an episode about it, and so I actually know that there's sensors everywhere that we monitor ocean activity.

Well, actually, my lady, no.

Don't bring that downer sensor energy here. You can still answer, my lady. You can still fight her.

No, please.

No, we just like to always say when we're being buzz kills, we just always say that we're wearing a fedora. Like, oh, let me put my fedora on real quick. Let me get into the body of a Reddit moderator, which we both are, ironically.

On your own subreddit?

Yes, it's our own subreddit.

Our own subreddit. We've been invited to others.

Although, I feel like Ally could also be the moderator of r slash pop punk.

Truly, I have never met anybody that I could talk to about pop punk, so congratulations. You're now going to receive like a barrage of emails about drive-through records. You can block me. But yes, I should. I should moderate r slash-

Get in there.

2000s pop punk.

On this StreamYard, the way I'm giving StreamYard is Nat and I are on one side. I've never felt like StreamYard nailed it more.

I know. This is just the dark side where we have no hobbies or things to talk about at all. That side is like, yes, music. Let's continue this conversation.

Let's talk about that. Let's talk about how cool life used to be.

Ed, I love Rick and Morty. I would love to also send you a barrage of emails about shows that you probably don't care about anymore.

Feel free to look up My IMDb and send as many as you want. Send me any questions as you want.

Perfect.

I'm for sure going to look at your IMDb's.

Please do. Please do.

Oh, boy.

Are they accurate? Mine's like super inaccurate.

The only thing missing from IMDb right now is Clone High. The Clone High reboot or whatever. That's the only thing that's missing, but everything's accurate. Yeah.

That's such a flex.

No, it wasn't a flex. I was just trying to tell you.

No, I mean, it's like you're not flexing, but it's a flex to have a good IMDb. I wish I could, I don't know, office space IMDb because my IMDb is so embarrassing. I just want it to be gone.

There's a video that plays on my IMDb from something I worked on in high school that I have fucking signed up for IMDb Pro. I have emailed IMDb.

Try to get rid of it.

Fucking please stop this weird student film from being the first thing people see about me. And the answer is always like, that guy's got to take it down. I'm like, this sucks. I hate my life.

Yeah. Mine are like things that I wasn't, they're like not even real projects. It's like when you were just trying to like fill out your stuff when you were 19 years old. One of them's like Miss Broccolini or something. And it's like someone's laptop computer picture of us with like broccoli in my teeth. I'm like, please, I want to die right now.

Ed, I know exactly what short film you're talking about because I also have that stuck on my IMDB.

It's probably a conspiracy to undermine us. See what I did there? Provided a segue for you.

Yes. Thank you, Ed. Conspiracy number three, magnetic forces. Magnetic forces, the conspiracy of magnets, I guess. The Bermuda Triangle is one of two places on earth where a compass will point to true north instead of magnetic north. While true north is the fixed point where lines of longitude converge on a map, magnetic north is constantly shifting. It's the point on earth's surface where its magnetic fields point directly downward. The difference between the two is called declination and all trained ship and airline pilots know to account for it when charting their course. So, Popular Mechanics tells us, the conspiracy theory that compass malfunctions are behind the Triangle's grisly history is easily debunked. First of all, it assumes that many experienced pilots were simply unaware of magnetic declination. And second, it can't explain the many, many boats and planes that pass through the area without incident.

I don't know. That one seems kind of real. Like it seems like it could do something, you know?

It could. It does seem like it could.

People make fucking mistakes. Ally knows I cannot seem to like upload our podcast at the right time. Every single time we try to upload it, it's supposed to be at midnight, 1201 PST. And like sometimes I'm like, oh, I did it at like 3 a.m. PST because that's three hours ahead of you and I'm on East Coast time. And then I'm like thinking about it, I'm like, that doesn't even fucking make sense because they're three hours behind, so it's like still the wrong time. Makes no sense.

And that's because of magnets.

I'm just saying people get confused, people are tired. I'm sure if you're like going across the whole fucking ocean, you're tired, right?

For sure.

Yeah, and there's definitely more recordings or if not recordings, there's more evidence of people in planes or ships saying things about their compasses malfunctioning and far fewer of them saying things like, I'm in the sky and there's a giant wave coming towards me.

There's a giant shaft coming towards me.

I'm going into the slit.

Help.

What conversion therapy ends with I'm going into the slit?

Help.

Conspiracy number four for whoever said aliens is aliens. No surprises here, it says, where there are conspiracy theorists, there are usually UFOs. In this case, the story goes that aliens use the Bermuda Triangle as a portal to our planet. There, they gather the people and technology they need to conduct their research on our species. This theory explains why many of the ships and planes that go down in the Bermuda Triangle are never recovered, which, Ed, I feel like we watched a movie once, a Schlock film, about this, about an ocean and the Bermuda Triangle appearing on a spaceship. Do you remember this?

I mean, if you're talking about the final countdown, I wouldn't necessarily call it Schlock, but I don't think it's what you're talking about.

There was a movie we watched on a spaceship. It was very low budget. It was the first movie that the guys who wrote The Conjuring ever wrote.

Oh, the one with George Clooney?

I think that's the Solaris remake. No.

Yeah. Solaris.

No, not Solaris.

I don't necessarily remember it. You know how I feel about The Conjuring people, because I'm from the small town of Monroe, Connecticut, where the Warrens are from, so I would see them at the grocery store and stuff, like my whole life.

What's the scoop?

The scoop is that one of them's dead. They're both dead now, actually.

Are you happy?

That they're dead?

Yeah.

No, no.

That'll tell me everything I need to know.

The thing is, it took entering this space to learn that a lot of people think they're like charlatans and stuff. I didn't know. They were just Ed and Lorraine Warren from Big Y Grocers. I don't know. They were just people I would see, and then they would come to our high school or middle school every Halloween and bring Annabelle and stuff. It was super fun.

That's so weird.

I didn't think of them as anything other than this sweet old couple who would bring demonic recordings at Halloween every year to the middle school or high school.

Either they are evil because they're trying to haunt a bunch of kids or they are charlatans.

Well, no, they're probably the latter, but they only brought Annabelle once when I was a kid. Every other time was just recordings and stuff, but one year, they definitely brought Annabelle to Shelton High School or whatever.

Well, I found The Dark Side of the Moon is a 1990 direct-to-video science fiction horror film directed by DJ Webster from screenplay by the brothers, Chad and Carrie Hayes. I was right. This is the plot according to Wikipedia. I didn't remember any of this. In the near future, a maintenance vehicle is orbiting the Earth on a mission to repair nuclear-armed satellites. Suddenly, the crew experiences a mysterious, inexplicable power failure that cannot be accounted for. As the ship grows colder, they find themselves drifting towards The Dark Side of the Moon. An old NASA shuttle, The Discovery, drifts towards them, although NASA has not been operating for 30 years. I guess in this future world.

It's just SpaceX.

Two of the crew members board the ship, hoping to salvage parts to repair their ship, but instead they find a dead body. The mission records of the crew's own ship indicate that the shuttle they have found disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle many years before.

This is a cool plot.

Yes, the area-

The area in space the shuttle is found in corresponds to the Earth-bound Bermuda Triangle.

Don't know how that works.

The Earth rotates. Yes, I don't know how that works, but the bunch of shit they fight the devil, whatever.

Wow, this movie's got layers.

They fight the devil.

Got it all. It's got it all.

I don't know.

I mean, look, Ed and I fight the devil every night before we go to bed.

Get back to Bermuda Triangle. These ladies are very busy.

All right, conspiracy number five. This one I actually think could explain a lot, methane bubbles, boring but real. In 2016, a group of researchers from the Arctic University of Norway announced that they had discovered massive half-mile craters at the bottom of the Barents Sea off the coast of Norway. The craters, they hypothesized, were caused by sudden explosions of deep underwater deposits of methane. Lots of conspiracy theorists, again, I don't, it's methane, it's not a conspiracy, but they glommed on to the idea, arguing the phenomenon might be responsible for shipwrecks in the Bermuda Triangle. However, just a few months later, the researchers themselves burst that bubble, as it were. Cute. We are not making any links to the Bermuda Triangle, they said, in a 2016 statement published by the Center for Arctic Gas, Hydrate, Environment and Climate, a coalition of scientists that investigate Arctic marine geology.

So fucking studs, like cool ladies in studs.

Yeah, conspiracy six, wormholes, which is basically just Bruce's story. He's literally mentioned by name here. It's just you fly through electronic fog, aka a wormhole and end up somewhere else. Conspiracy seven, water spouts. According to NASA, water spouts are spitting columns of moist air that form over warm water. Akin to a tornado in the ocean, water spouts can feature wind speeds of up to 125 miles an hour. Because the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Florida is one of the most active areas in the world for this severe weather phenomenon, some have posited they could be responsible for Bermuda Triangle disasters. While unproven, this theory may be the closest to the truth, as the United States Coast Guard and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration have both stated that any mishaps in the area were likely caused by bad weather and inexperienced navigators. At the same time, both agencies asserted there's nothing special about the Bermuda Triangle at all. Jesus, it's harsh.

All those shirts they printed, that was like Bermuda Triangle, most special plays, they have to now throw away, or give to poor countries.

They say, yeah, people who lost the Super Bowl. They said, the ocean has always been a mysterious place to humans and when foul weather or poor navigation is involved, it can be a very deadly place. This is true all over the world. There is no evidence that mysterious disappearances occur with any greater frequency in the Bermuda Triangle than in any other large, well-traveled area of the ocean.

There it is, the seven haters.

None of those conspiracies are very satisfying at all, but they are all like, I think some of them are interesting reasons that things could possibly go awry. But before we wrap up, I want to take a quick trip down one really interesting side street. I promised our co-producer, Tess Feifel, that we would share this astonishing, I think, Bermuda Triangle fact, and it is this. Well, first, let me ask, how do we feel about eels? Slimy, bitey, are you scared of them, not scared of them?

Like a moray eel?

I've never really thought about them.

Are they?

That's a good question. How do I feel about them? I don't know.

They're kind of gross.

They are delicious at a sushi place. Are they friends with Ursula from Little Mermaid, those eels?

I think so.

Yes, no, those eels from Ursula's thing, those were kind of hard.

Flotsam and jetsam, right?

Yes. Those are gross, terrible, terrible eels. I don't want to fucking blast on the eel community, but there's some bad eels.

Yes. When I think of eels, I guess I think of a giant pool roiling with eels and that I would get submerged in it and be covered by squirming living fish jello.

That's your first thought on eels.

There's so many of them.

They electrocute you. I totally just forgot about that, but that's one of the bad things about them is they literally electrocute you, which is kind of crazy because it's a fucking fish, right?

Yeah, well, some of them can. I don't know that they all can, but there is a species of electric eel.

Do you think they're the tough guys in the eel prison? Because they have a superpower?

I mean, if you get electrocuted under water, how does that even work? Because isn't water like a conductor of electricity? So if one eel electrocutes you, does it electrocute the whole ocean?

You know what I mean? Oh my God.

With great power comes great responsibility.

I never thought about that.

That's true. The whole ocean, just so many cartoon Xs for eyes, fish floating to the top. Once a day being like, oh, that eel, he went off.

I imagine however much electric output eels are capable of probably dissipates pretty quickly and after a not very far distance.

Dude, I hope no eels are listening.

Sorry, eels.

You hear what they're saying about us? They're calling us pussies, dude.

So I asked this to say, I didn't know this, but I guess for like literally centuries, scientists were stumped about where exactly eels come from. Aristotle, who listeners will remember as a man who had a theory that women have less teeth than men.

Yeah, which super, super easy to find out the answer to that.

Yeah, he clearly, he could have checked every day.

He knew zero women. I can't find a single woman to count their teeth.

For all of my book reading, I just, the one thing I can't learn from a book is how to talk to girls.

Right.

Yeah, basically. Although if all you're doing is walking around asking girls to open their mouths so you can count their teeth, I could see how that maybe isn't. That might go sideways.

We call that in the business of red flag, yeah.

Yeah. But Aristotle pondered this question, where do eels come from? And he came to the conclusion that they were born spontaneously from the mud.

We're fucking idiot, dude.

People really didn't know. Eventually, we figured out that they do come from the sea. They arrive at the coast as tiny, fragile, transparent little glass eels. Then they adapt to fresh water and mature in rivers where they grow up to a meter long until they're ready to swim all the way back to where they mate and die. But no one knew where they mated and died. Until a few years ago when scientists finally were able to track a population back to the Sargasso Sea, which is in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle, which means that eels or at least three major species of eel come from the Bermuda Triangle. Which I think is crazy.

That makes sense. So they are responsible for the disappearance of all of the different aircraft and boats that have gone missing.

This is eel havoc, dude.

Eels are aliens, confirmed.

The answer could be aliens. They're aliens.

Yeah.

Eels are long, right? They're like long skinny boys, right?

Long skinny boys.

So they're like, that's a javelin shape. So people are, aliens are zipping up hitting planes. Aliens, they can wrap around things. They can grab like your propeller.

Yep.

They're electric.

They also only live to like fuck for a minute and die. So it's like, you know, there's gotta be some eels that nobody wants. They're just gonna get up to no good.

Yep.

I'm not saying this is a great theory.

Wow. I'm on board.

Hey, it's as good as water spouts or methane bubbles.

Yeah, those ones suck.

I mean, why did the, we know now where they come from, but we don't really know why. You know, there has to be something special about the Bermuda Triangle if that's where they are deciding to go. You know, there's something about it. The vibes there.

Yeah, why is it such an eel nightclub?

Yeah.

Well, the only other thing I know about the Sargasso Sea, which is in or partially in the Bermuda Triangle, is that it was a place of legend and lore for sailors because for some reason, and I'm not going to be able to remember why off the top of my head, but it's a place where there are large, not bales, but swaths of seaweed and stuff that'll just grow for miles in the ocean. And it used to be a place where sailors and stuff would be like, oh, monsters live there because they'd see these large shapes in the water. And so I don't know if maybe that has something to do with it. The eels like the seaweed floating everywhere. The shapes? Yeah, I don't know.

They like the way they rub up against their eel pods.

Good ambiance there.

Eels being responsible for all of the disappearances in the Bermuda Triangle is a bit of a stretch, but here come the eel emails.

Never fucking ends.

The eel mails.

The fucking eel mails, dude.

We probably could convince Aristotle that that's the case. All right, so we got to let these two go, but before we do, we have to hit the fear tier. Each episode ends with Ed and I placing the fear of the week on the fear tier, which goes from zero to 10. 10 being the thing that Ed is most afraid of in this world.

It changed this season.

Well, it used to be having a bucket of hot piss and shit dumped on his head by a stranger.

Oh, like that lady in Hollywood?

Yes, thank you, yes.

I bring that up, actually. I've made people watch that before, where she's like, yeah, I had to go to the doctor's. It was so traumatic for her because she didn't know what kind of diseases she was gonna get. It was really, she had hot diarrhea dumped on her.

I am so fucking pumped.

Thank God you're on my side of the streaming art boxes because I am so pumped. This episode's gonna be the season finale of season two and two season finales in a row, we've had a guest on who fucking knew what I'm talking about.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I knew exactly what you were talking about.

The only two people who knew what he was talking about.

That's funny.

Shit, that's why you're on that side of the stream yard. I'm sorry we didn't fucking have like fucking yellow card or whatever stuff on this side of the.

Yeah, they're over there on Ocean Avenue and we're talking about shit buckets over here.

To each their own, to each their own, but so we have to place the Bermuda Triangle on the fear tier. So where roughly, where do you think that you guys would place the Bermuda Triangle on your personal fear tiers?

You're saying traveling through for them or just like its existence?

Let's say traveling through.

Oh, well, I would rather get hot piss and shit. I know that wasn't the question. I know that you said that this is what you used to do.

Wow, you've never felt more on that side of the screen than right now.

Yeah.

I would rather get hot piss and shit dumped on me than be sucked into a shaft cloud never to be seen again. Now, if I knew I was gonna go through whatever shenanigans are going on in the Bermuda Triangle and survive, then obviously I would rather do that because I do wanna know all of the world's secrets, but if it's not sure whether or not I'm gonna live to tell the tale, then I'd rather have a bucket of pee on me.

Okay, so this is pretty high on the fear tier, then.

I hate airplanes. I cannot stress this enough. I don't like, I have to take, I have to be tranquilized to get on an airplane. I hate them.

Chris is a fellow 3000 Xanax later. He arrives in Boston or whatever.

Relatable.

That is so funny. Yeah, I have to disagree with Ally because I think the piss and shit bucket is really, really bad for me because not only do you have the experience, which is fucking awful, you have to also live with the fact that everyone knows it happened to you, which I think is almost more humiliating than it happening to you. It's like if you shit your pants at school or something, and then everybody knows, it's way worse than just having shot your pants at school. People remember that kind of stuff. People remember like, oh yeah, that's so and so. Yeah, it's not worth it. It's not worth it to be associated with a bucket of piss and shit for the rest of your life. What kind of life is that gonna be?

Unless you can monetize it in some way.

Right, have a shirt that's like, fly through the shit and piss bucket.

I got a hot bucket of piss and shit thrown. I mean, all I got was this stupid T-shirt.

I don't think it's worth it, because if you go through the Bermuda Triangle, if you come out the other side, that's dope. Wow, did you know that person went through the Bermuda Triangle, or that person got lost in the Bermuda Triangle? There's no negative connotation with it. We're all like, Amelia Earhart, that sucks. We're not like, she got lost in the Bermuda Triangle.

If Amelia Earhart was successful in whatever crossing she was doing, and then had a shit and piss run on her, we would never talk about her incredible feat.

We would overshadow.

We'd be like, oh, that's that pilot that got shit and piss thrown on her.

She flew the whole way across the world to get a bucket of piss and shit dumped on her head.

It's like that Dave Matthews thing. Oh, when they dumped at the bus?

Where the bus dumped the shit?

Now anytime brings up Dave Matthews, I always just think of this, the story I saw on Reddit where Dave Matthews emptied their tour bus, like septic tank, on people who were in a boat on a bridge underneath them. And now that's all I think about when I think of Dave Matthews.

Until very recently, probably the most horrible bridge accident we've had.

Right. Yeah.

RIP, God bless.

Here's a conspiracy theory that I did not see Popular Mechanics talk about.

Please.

All right, Amelia Earhart disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle. What if she is an eel rejoining her eel family and her real name is Amelia Eelheart?

Whoa.

Oh shit.

Oh, I thought you were going to say E-Melia.

Yeah, I was going to say Amelia.

Eel-Melia.

Eel-Melia Eelheart returned.

Dude, could you imagine if someone finds her now and then they're like, you didn't know her name was Eel-Melia Eelheart? And this is just, how did you not see this? She made it plain as day.

Eel-Melia Earhart sounds like what she would be if she was making a cameo in a DreamWorks animation movie.

Yeah.

Maybe she was. We don't know what she was doing down there.

True, true.

Featuring Draft the Navigator and Eel-Melia Eelheart. Jerry Draft.

So I guess, yeah, I'm gonna put this one at like, I don't know, Bermuda Triangle.

Eight buckets of shit?

Four.

Four, so kind of.

Four buckets of shit.

A four out of 10. Four out of 10. That sounds right, that sounds right.

The buckets of shit is a 10. I can't think of something worse.

That's a 10.

It goes hard, it goes to 11 maybe.

Yeah, it's just, that has never happened to me, but when I saw that video of that woman in Hollywood talking about that, I could like smell it, like through the screen, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, cause you put yourself in that position, you're like, I've crossed that street, I've walked here. I thought my day wasn't gonna end this way.

It feels too real. Like now there's like real concern for being around the public.

Shit.

Like this could happen to you. True. Could happen to anyone.

Well, I love it, I love it. Chris, where do you place this?

I would place it fairly low simply because-

Second grade Chris thought it was pretty high. I mean, he wrote a book about it.

Well, second grade Chris didn't know where Bermuda was. I think he thought it was maybe a little bit closer to Pennsylvania. I think he thought it was maybe a more accessible place and that he might have to go through it someday. But I feel like I pretty much have no reason to pass through the Bermuda Triangle. So I guess I'd put it pretty low. I'd put it kind of like a two or a three. If I were faced with going through the Bermuda Triangle, I would immediately become a little bit more concerned. I would probably try to go around it.

Well, here's a question for you, because I don't know. If you were to fly to Bermuda, do you always have to fly to the Bermuda Triangle? Is there another way to Bermuda that's not going to the Triangle?

I don't know. I mean, yes, I mean, you fly around it, but I don't know by like modern airline routes who crosses through it and who doesn't to get to wherever.

Like, is it just like basically if you're flying from New York to Bermuda, you're fucking always going through it, then?

Right, probably, probably, yeah, I would assume.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you look out your left, you'll see that we're, that's a huge eel.

Yeah, you'll see Amelia Eelheart.

Yeah, yeah, there's a shaft.

If you look out to you, if you look to your left, it's an eel, but to your right, it's a shaft. If you're sitting where we're sitting and you look directly ahead, it's just slits for days.

And Ed, what about you? Where does the Bermuda Triangle fall?

Fucking, I don't have it that high. I'm living that this side of the screen, Nat life.

Yeah.

I'm gonna go ahead and say, yeah, four, four, five out of 10. Cause as you know, it's like when I get on a plane, I just kind of hand my fucking life over to the pilot. That's kind of, I'm fine with that. And I'm not an island person, so I don't think I'd be going. But no, I guess I wouldn't. I guess I would put it at the exact same level as air travel because it's like, it's out of my hands. Yeah. But yeah, I guess I'm right in the mid, right on the middle, right in the middle. We've had some stuff that I think superseded the hot piss and shit this season, but I, amazingly, I didn't think we'd ever get here. Don't let all of the emails, people being like, that's gross, don't let that be the top.

I mean.

That didn't sway me. Other stuff swayed me.

Getting your face broken by a decapitated kid's head flying back at you on a water slide is pretty high now.

That happened to someone?

Yeah.

Yeah, there were music park episodes that happened to two people, yeah, who were sitting behind the kid who got decapitated, yeah.

Yeah, they got their faces. It was basically like Fabio, but instead of a bird, it was a child's head. I should have laughed about that.

I saw Fabio at an Italian restaurant in the valley once.

What?

And you wanna know who he was on a date with? I'm about to blow up his spot. You wanna know who he was on a date with?

Yes, please.

Desperate to know.

Who?

Trisha Paytas.

Good job, Trisha. She landed Fabio? Are you serious?

Yeah, this would have been like maybe 2018.

This is post-Bird Strike Fabio, but.

Yeah, but he's still a handsome gentleman.

Oh yeah, he was, I mean I could tell who he was.

Yeah, it's not like.

He's got Riz, you know.

For days.

He's like if a horse was a man, so I feel like. Yeah.

So you're saying by virtue of a horse turning in through, I don't know, through a spell or something, into a man, you're saying that really horses have Riz, is what you're getting at.

I love, I'm a horse girl. I love horses. It's embarrassing for other people, but not me. I like horses.

They're magnetism.

Yeah. They're just like cool. I don't know how to explain it. It's magical. It's like you're riding, like, okay, imagine if your car could also be your friend and your partner. But yeah, so Fabio's always reminded me, like he has like, he reminds me of like a Frejian horse, which is like the certain type of horse.

Sure.

Comment if you understand what I'm talking about, guys.

Please write in if you think, if you think like write in with how much you're willing to spend at like a spend an hour with a horse auction.

Oh.

Like we're gonna turn a horse into a man for two hours. Like what are you willing to spend on that?

That's a head scratcher.

Yeah.

I just like, what were Tricia and Fabio talking about? Like what do they have in common?

Alfredo.

Look, I can't believe I've never brought this up on our show before.

Dude, heard it here first, exclusive.

Exclusive.

I'm not lying, it's a fact. There are witnesses that I could bring on the show if we needed to. I can have my father come. Yes, I was out to dinner with my dad and brother.

How do you know it was a date and it wasn't business? Like I could totally see one of them using the other in like a music video. Well, no, not Fabio. I could see Tricia using Fabio in like a music video.

He was in a music video with her. So that is a good, because I looked it up afterwards. But the music video, yeah, it had already come out by the point that I saw them at dinner.

What was Tricia wearing? I need to know.

Oh, I don't remember.

Nothing.

Nothing, yeah. And that's how I knew it wasn't just business.

Do you remember if they were eating one long piece of noodle together until they kissed?

Oh, yeah, that's how you know they're on a date.

That's a date, that's classic date. I usually do that probably third date. So it's like, does that, I obviously don't. I obviously don't.

I don't remember them having any food. It was like the restaurant was closing and they came in and sat down in a corner by themselves. And like the restaurant is like clearing out. So the people that owned the restaurant were keeping it open just for them because we were paying our tab. Of course. Yeah.

I would open a restaurant for that.

Honestly, as a person who's worked in a diner, I'm like, fuck this story. I'm like, we all thought we were going home in the back here. This is a nightmare.

And here comes fucking Fabio and Trisha Paytas.

Now we gotta bring them out like a fucking kissing garlic bread or whatever, where like they can eat it together.

We need to bring out a long, a long garlic bread. We need to bring out the longest noodle.

Yeah, what do we got? What do we got in the noodle department right now? Is it long enough? Actually, fucking make it short. We don't wanna be here all night. Let's just get a short noodle piece too. All right, everybody. This has been a very fun.

This has been a great episode. We'll have to do this again sometime.

Yes, that was fun. Thank you for having us on.

Of course, thank you for doing it. Until then, I'm Chris Cullari.

And I'm Ed Voccola.

And this has been Scared All The Time, X Crossover, Let's Get Haunted. And we'll see you next time.

Scared All The Time is co-produced by Chris Cullari and Ed Voccola.

Written by Chris Cullari.

Edited by Ed Voccola.

Additional support and keeper of sanity is Tess Vifel.

Our theme song is the track Scared by Perpetual Stew.

And Mr. Disclaimer is A*****.

And just a reminder, you can now support the podcast on Supercast and get all kinds of cool shit in return. Depending on the tier you choose, we'll be offering everything from ad-free episodes, to producer credits, exclusive access and exclusive merch.

So go sign up for our Supercast at scaredallthetimepodcast.com.

Don't worry, full Scaredy Cats welcome.

No part of this show can be reproduced anywhere without permission. Copyright Astonishing Legends Productions. Good night.

We are in this together.

Together.

===TRANSCRIPT END===