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This video is brought to you by Wondrium.

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We will talk about Wondrium at the end of
the video but for now let's get on with how

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to let go from the philosophy of Lao Tzu.

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​​Lao Tzu was an ancient Chinese philosopher
who is known to be the founder of Taoism.

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He is also credited as the writer of Taoism’s
most sacred text, the Tao Te Ching, which

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is a collection of poems that includes all
of Taoism’s central teachings within their

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meanings.

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The word Tao itself also translates to ‘the
path’ or ‘the way.’

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It is the way of the universe.

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Taoism as a philosophy focuses on being in
balance with the universe, going with the

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flow and finding your peace with whatever
circumstances you end up in.

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To do so, Taoism teaches you to let go so
you are indeed free to flow along with life

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and be in harmony with the universe which
is why in this video we will talk about 6

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things we need to let go of and more importantly
how we can let them go from the wisdom of

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Lao Tzu.

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1.

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Letting Go Of The Past
Lao Tzu says “New beginnings are often disguised

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as painful endings”.

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Letting go of pain or trauma is easier said
than done.

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Nobody carries it for fun, and it is not a
physical entity that we can indeed choose

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to put down and move on from.

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Instead, we have to learn how to deal with
pain in order to be able to let it go.

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For most people, although we carry our pain,
we feel too fragile to even face it.

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It bothers us, but we dare not confront it.

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For example, imagine someone who was mistreated
by their parents while growing up, and now

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they hate themselves, and thus continue to
seek the company of others to keep them feeling

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loved and wanted just in order to be able
to ignore the fact that they do not love themselves.

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As soon as they sit alone at home, the sadness
and grief hits them, thus they continue to

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find ways to be around people, and in doing
so may pick up some unwanted habits.

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We tend to avoid our pain and troubles.

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And by doing so, they always haunt us back.

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Taoism tells us that, instead of pushing it
away, we have to let our pain be in order

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to let it go.

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We need to acknowledge and confront it, and
then learn how to deal with it.

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Avoiding our pain is like clinging onto a
rock in a river trying to take us forward

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- we use all of our strength to stay exactly
where we are, afraid to go on.

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However, if we could just let go and let the
stream take us, we feel we can relax.

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The trip might be scary, new or confronting,
but it will eventually be less difficult and

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more rewarding.

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So, when we feel our pain or troubles announce
themselves to us, we should not ignore it

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but instead acknowledge it.

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Ask yourself: what am I feeling and why am
I feeling this way?

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Only by answering those questions can you
find the antidote to your pain.

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The person who needs constant reassurance
and love from others has to learn how to be

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alone and enjoy their own company.

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This will be hard, but by ceasing to find
constant distractions in others, they might

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start to pick hobbies like reading or painting
that will allow them to enjoy themselves for

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who they are or get to know and appreciate
their own insights instead of the insights

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of others.

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Only by letting our emotions about the past
be, can we eventually let the past go.

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This will bring us the rest and freedom needed
to live our lives to the fullest.

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2.

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Letting Go Of The Future
According to Lao Tzu “A good traveler has

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no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving”.

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A good traveler is not preoccupied with the
destination, for then they would not be able

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to enjoy the trip.

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This is the same for life: if we are preoccupied
with the future, we find ourselves unable

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to enjoy life itself.

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Most people today are so very preoccupied
with the future that they forget to enjoy

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their time here and now - and they will do
so until there is no future to prepare for

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anymore.

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When we focus on our future and all its possible
appearances, we often get anxious.

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We start to worry and feel on edge.

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This greatly impacts our ability to enjoy
life the way it is.

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If during a walk you are busy worrying about
things like Will I ever be able to afford

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a house?

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Will I be able to travel when I want to?

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Will I ever find love?

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All these worries impact our happiness and
ability to relax.

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You won’t enjoy the beautiful things you
encounter on your walk.

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The more we focus on our hypothetical future,
the less we can enjoy the present.

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Moreover, the more we prepare for future performances,
the worse we perform in the present.

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You cannot be the student, employee, friend,
mother, partner, and so on that you want to

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be, if your mind is elsewhere.

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Taoism, instead urges you to let go of your
future expectations and learn how to be in

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the now.

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One of the ways to stop obsessing over the
future is simply by appreciating what is already

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there.

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Imagine someone who keeps thinking about wanting
to own a house in the future.

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By focusing too much on this hypothetical
outcome, they are probably not focused at

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all on their current living situation.

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They might not buy nice furniture for their
current place or put any effort into decorating

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it, because it is only meant to be temporary,
so why does it matter?

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They might never consider it home because
they are so focused on their non-existent

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future home.

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This means that if they find themselves unable
to move or buy a house, any enjoyment of their

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current living situation seems lost.

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Even if they do manage to buy a house in the
future, they will have spent all their time

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before that not enjoying their living situation
even though they could have.

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Instead, if they allowed themselves to embrace
their current accommodation as if this is

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all they will ever have, they would have all
the freedom in the world to make it a nice,

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comfortable place worthy of calling home and
enjoying.

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And then, if they do ever manage to buy a
house, they will simply move on from enjoying

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one place to another one, instead of having
felt out of place for years.

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The advice is not to never work for the future,
but to never do it in such a way that it completely

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blocks you from enjoying the present.

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Only if we allow ourselves to let go of our
expectations of the future can we stop feeling

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anxious and enjoy the present.

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3.

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Letting Go Of Someone
Lao Tsu once wrote “Life is a series of

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natural and spontaneous changes.

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Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow.

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Let reality be reality.

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Let things flow naturally forward in whatever
way they like”.

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We all have to lose people during our lifetime,
be it through distance, a breakup, a change

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of circumstances, or even death.

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The process of losing people hurts and hurts
even more when we cannot seem to let the person

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we lost go.

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In relationships, we often act in contrast
to what Taoism preaches.

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We cling onto our partners, feel attached
and hold on tight.

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For example, when a relationship is going
badly, many partners have the intuition to

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be more present, more confronting and more
active within the relationship.

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However, this can feel controlling and pressuring
for their partner, only worsening the tension.

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However if they learn how to take a step back
and allow their partner their own space to

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breathe, they feel more free and relaxed to
take further steps within the relationship.

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Holding onto a partner is like holding onto
sand: the more you squeeze it, the more it

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slips through your fingers.

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Instead, partners who allow each other their
own space and lives have the best relationships.

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Furthermore, a rejection and breakup are often
seen as tragedies - something to be avoided

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at all costs.

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Think of people fighting tooth and nail to
keep their relationship afloat when it is

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clearly making both partners unhappy, or of
people trying again and again to ask someone

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out who’s already expressed disinterest.

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Actually, being able to let go of a potential
partner can be the very best thing to do for

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your own growth and happiness.

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There is a story in Taoism of a Taoist sage
named Zhuangzi.

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He was taking a walk in the mountains when
he encountered a thick and crooked tree.

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By the tree, Zhuangzi met a lumberjack who
refused to cut it down.

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‘It is worthless,’ the lumberjack explained.

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‘There is nothing this tree could be used
for!’

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To this, Zhuangzi said, ‘Well, because of
its worthlessness, this tree can now continue

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to grow and live out its years peacefully.’

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In other words: its uselessness to the lumberjack
was a blessing for the tree.

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The same can be said for the rejections we
encounter throughout our lives.

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The tree was rejected by the lumberjack and
consequently got the freedom and space to

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grow old and more beautiful.

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Whenever we are deemed unfit or not good enough
by someone else and they reject us, they also

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give us the space to spend more time with
ourselves and grow.

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Every minute not spent with someone who is
not right for us is a minute we can invest

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in ourselves.

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In this way, we can see rejection as a blessing
in disguise.

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This knowledge might make it easier for us
to let the one who rejected us or broke up

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with us go.

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We can either keep chasing them, only to be
disappointed and worn out, or accept their

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rejection as an invitation to work and focus
on ourselves.

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Not all people are good for each other, just
like the lumberjack and the tree were not

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right for each other.

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By focusing on ourselves and our growth instead,
we can learn how to let go of someone else.

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The same can be said for more intense cases
of letting go, such as having to let someone

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go due to life circumstances or even death.

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Although these scenarios do not generally
mean that you are better off alone, it is

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still possible to find your peace with these
losses.

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This is important, because if you do not find
your peace with these losses, you will always

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fight against the circumstances of life and
exhaust yourself by being unhappy.

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Taoism believes that life is a series of natural
and spontaneous changes and if we resist,

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we will suffer.

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Birth, life and death are just other changes
in the world that one has to deal with, and

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some changes are less desirable than others.

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If you’re a big fan of summertime, for example,
you’re unlikely to be happy when autumn

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starts.

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However, the very best you can do is just
accept the end of summer because such a thing

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was inevitable and is now unchangeable.

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Similarly, death is inevitable.

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You must face your grief and sorrow and learn
how to deal with it.

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For example, you may find that journaling,
talking to others about memories, honoring

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their hobbies or favorite music by engaging
with it, recounting your happiest memories

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with them, or anything else, may help.

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But in order to be able to do any of this,
one must face and accept that their loved

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one is gone.

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If you eventually accept a loss, you will
also find you have more room and energy to

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move forward with life and to allow yourself
to feel happy again.

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4.

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Letting Go Of The Desire to Rush Things
According to Lao Tzu “He who rushes ahead

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doesn’t go far”.

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One of the most famous taoist concepts is
the concept of Wu Wei.

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Wu Wei is best understood as ‘non-forcing.’

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To understand this concept, think of floating
along with the current of a river.

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If you do nothing and do not force anything,
you will simply be taken along with the current

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to where you will eventually need to be.

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A lot of people, however, do apply force.

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Maybe they swim in order to get there faster,
wasting their precious energy and failing

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to enjoy the trip.

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Or they swim against the current, desperate
to get back to the past, which is exhausting

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and will not lead to any lasting results.

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Or they cling onto a rock or branch in order
to stay right where they are, too scared to

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move on, which is similarly exhausting and
will never bring you to better circumstances.

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This river is a metaphor for the course of
life.

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Any force you try to apply to the way your
life is going, will be exhausting, hard and

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ultimately pointless.

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If you have mastered Wu Wei, however, you
will allow yourself to let the river take

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you with it without fuss - you will accept
any changes life throws at you and simply

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move along with it.

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This ‘non-forcing’ approach to life is
incredibly hard for most people, because society

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often teaches us that life consists of moving
fast!

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Society tells you to work hard, create your
own chances, be faster than anyone else, and

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do more, more and more.

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If you want a certain job, go for it!

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If you want to be in a relationship, go on
as many dates as you can!

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In most cases, this will eventually lead to
people forcing circumstances that they or

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their lives have no room for yet.

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It is a recipe for burnout, exhaustion and
disappointment.

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The more you try and fail to control, the
more powerless you will feel.

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Typically, someone who desperately wants a
relationship goes on loads of dates and, as

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the saying goes, puts themselves out there.

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But how often have we heard of people who
always go on dates or hop from relationship

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to relationship or even get married too fast
and divorced soon after?

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They virtually always end up single, no matter
how hard they try forcing a different path

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for themselves.

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Instead, Taoism teaches us that we need to
let go of the rush and acknowledge the natural

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course of things.

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Practicing wu wei, however, doesn’t mean
that by passively letting go, everything will

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fall into your lap.

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Taking action is vital to achieving anything
but our actions need to be coupled with an

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acknowledgement of the natural course of things.

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Nothing can happen earlier or later than it
should have.

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Using the previous example, If none of your
relationships work out, maybe it is because

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you are not ready for a relationship.

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Some people need to learn how to be single
and love themselves first, or change their

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behavior or mindset in order to be able to
be a good partner.

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If you always keep forcing yourself to enter
new romantic scenarios, you will never find

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out what it is that needs to change.

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But on the other hand, when you let go of
your desire to control things and instead

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go with the flow, trust in your progress,
you become more confident and in time, you

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will attract the right partner.

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5.

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Letting Go Of Excess
In the words of Lao Tzu “Be content with

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what you have; rejoice in the way things are.

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When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you”.

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Taoism believes the world itself is in perfect
balance and perfect connection with itself.

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This means that if we take more of the world
than we need, we are disturbing this balance

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- not just the balance of the world, but also
the balance within ourselves.

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In our competitive and work-oriented society,
we work to be promoted, to afford more, to

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be able to move into a bigger house, etc.

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This means we work extremely hard and stress
ourselves out to attain status, money and

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goods that we do not even necessarily need
and spend our entire lives being out of balance,

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on the verge of burnout, for nothing.

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Even when you find yourself at the top, being
surrounded by everything you’ve wished for,

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you have to keep on working just as hard not
to lose any of it - and the fear of losing

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it only adds to the stress.

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The more we have, the more we usually want.

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For someone with ten cars, it becomes very
tempting to want to buy an eleventh.

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Furthermore, it does feel important to note
that this chasing of excess not only negatively

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impacts the individuals who do so, but also
the world around them.

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Think of overproduction, food waste, environmental
issues, and so on.

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It wouldn’t be just ourselves and our environment
that would benefit from moderation, but also

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the entire world.

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To live moderately, we can start by asking
ourselves the question: “What do I truly

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need?”

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When shopping, cleaning, celebrating, or even
working, ask yourself “What is enough to

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satisfy my true needs?”

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This can take effect in a variety of ways.

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You may find you don’t need to run the tap
when brushing your teeth, or you don’t need

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to cook as much because you’re not that
hungry.

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Furthermore, we can also be more mindful of
what the world needs.

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When you’re done using particular clothes,
you can choose to donate them instead of throwing

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them away.

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When considering getting rid of something
you don’t use, you could consider recycling

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it.

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By living this way you will find that you
are balanced and this balance will make you

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feel less stressed and more relaxed.

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When you are satisfied with less, you are
more satisfied in general.

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The Tao urges you to think about what you
need, what you truly use, and how you can

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fulfill those needs in the least excessive
ways.

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When our happiness doesn’t depend on excess,
we are less likely to lose it.

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6.

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Letting Go Of Your Ego
In our final quote from Lao Tzu for this video,

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he says “The ego is entranced by ... names
and ideas...

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However names and concepts only block your
perception of this Great Oneness”.

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Taoism believes that everything is connected.

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We are connected to the universe but the universe
does not consist of names and permanent attributes.

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Instead, it changes and shifts with the times.

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The same goes for us: so how could we ever
identify with all our impermanent attributes

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and flow along with the universe?

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Quite simply, we can’t.

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Thus focusing solely on one’s ego makes
one blind to the greater picture of connection

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and oneness.

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Focusing on our ego leads to overidentifying
with unimportant aspects of ourselves.

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Our jobs, hobbies, status, possessions and
appearances are not a clear picture of who

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we are.

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This means that ourselves, as we see it, are
dependent on things that are impermanent.

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What if you lose your job, interest in a hobby,
status, possessions or looks?

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Do you stop being you?

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Of course not.

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But if we have been overly focused on our
ego, we might feel like we do.

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Thus we become obsessed with remaining the
same, with holding onto those things that

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we think define us.

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This causes stress, worry and resistance.

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It is, again, like holding onto a branch with
all our might to avoid being taken along the

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course of the river - just because we have
convinced ourselves that we are a type of

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person who belongs in this part of the river
only.

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We will never see the scenery beyond the part
of the river where we force ourselves to stay,

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no matter how beautiful it might be around
the corner.

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If we learn to recognize the beauty in impermanence,
change, and flow, we will find that letting

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go of our ego is freeing.

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It will not feel like a loss, but like a gain.

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It will teach us to find peace and happiness
wherever and however we end up, no matter

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what.

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Letting go of your ego is akin to ‘letting
go of who you are, so that you can become

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who you might be’, as a famous quote by
Lao Tzu says.

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Being who you are is not something you can
chase or permanently achieve, but just something

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you are continuously becoming.

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Thus, when you manage to let go of your ego,
you can learn how to find and know yourself

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in whatever circumstance.

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You will be at harmony with the universe in
a way which you could not before.

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And, most importantly, rather than being stressed
and struggling, you will find yourself relaxed

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and at peace.

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00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:57,650
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