1 00:00:00,220 --> 00:00:02,889 This video is sponsored by Nord VPN. 2 00:00:02,889 --> 00:00:08,340 Nord VPN is a lightning fast, leading virtual private network that protects your identity 3 00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:11,870 online whether you’re in a coffee shop, hotel or anywhere. 4 00:00:11,870 --> 00:00:17,210 We will talk more about NordVPN later but for now let’s get on with how to be happy 5 00:00:17,210 --> 00:00:19,400 from the wisdom of Lao Tzu. 6 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:25,070 Lao Tzu, was an ancient Chinese philosopher and writer who is known to be the founder 7 00:00:25,070 --> 00:00:26,960 of Taoism. 8 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:32,070 Taoism is a philosophy which emphasizes becoming one with the rhythms of nature - is called 9 00:00:32,070 --> 00:00:34,930 “the way” or “tao”. 10 00:00:34,930 --> 00:00:41,140 He is also credited as the writer of Taoism’s most sacred text, Tao Te Ching in which he 11 00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:48,080 associates the process of achieving real happiness with managing the 4 fundamental areas of life: 12 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:53,590 resources, relationships, self-development and self-maintenance. 13 00:00:53,590 --> 00:01:00,560 The old master’s teachings, even after 2500 years, are world renowned, studied and practiced 14 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:05,650 by millions around the world and so in this video we are going to explore how to be happy 15 00:01:05,650 --> 00:01:10,310 by managing these 4 fundamental areas of life. 16 00:01:10,310 --> 00:01:11,920 1. 17 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:16,990 Resources Lao Tzu says “Heaven’s Way is like stretching 18 00:01:16,990 --> 00:01:18,250 a bow. 19 00:01:18,250 --> 00:01:22,420 The high is lowered and the low is raised. 20 00:01:22,420 --> 00:01:26,229 Excess is reduced and deficiency is replenished. 21 00:01:26,229 --> 00:01:31,490 Heaven’s Way reduces excess and replenishes deficiency. 22 00:01:31,490 --> 00:01:34,229 People’s Way is not so. 23 00:01:34,229 --> 00:01:38,750 They reduce the deficient and supply the excessive.” 24 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:45,420 What Lao Tzu tries to tell us is that we have to avoid excess and replenish deficiency, 25 00:01:45,420 --> 00:01:51,100 in other words, we need to take care of all of our resources in an equal way. 26 00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:55,630 Resources doesn’t only mean money, it can be anything which can be traded or it can 27 00:01:55,630 --> 00:01:57,580 be anything you use for your daily well-being. 28 00:01:57,580 --> 00:02:04,750 They typically are: money, your possessions e.g. your house, your car, your brain power, 29 00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:07,549 your talents, and your physical prowess. 30 00:02:07,549 --> 00:02:12,980 In Taoism, there is the concept of Yin and Yang, that says that each aspect of nature 31 00:02:12,980 --> 00:02:18,450 is dual and we need to balance the opposites in order to live in harmony with nature. 32 00:02:18,450 --> 00:02:23,950 Yin is the passive and Yang is the active principle of the duality and this duality 33 00:02:23,950 --> 00:02:30,630 can be seen in all patterns of nature, such as in the annual cycle - winter and summer, 34 00:02:30,630 --> 00:02:33,480 the daily cycle of night and day. 35 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:39,280 Yin and Yang are complementary parts of Qi, which is the vital force driving us. 36 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:46,000 If Tao is like an ocean, connecting everything, Qi is an energy pattern, it is the wave. 37 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:52,430 When our Qi is balanced between Yin and Yang and is flowing smoothly, this leads to a fulfilled 38 00:02:52,430 --> 00:02:54,410 life. 39 00:02:54,410 --> 00:02:59,620 The concept of balancing the complementary parts can be applied to the subject of resource 40 00:02:59,620 --> 00:03:00,620 management. 41 00:03:00,620 --> 00:03:05,310 We have to make sure we don’t use too much of a resource at the expense of another. 42 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:11,020 For example you use your talents in your job to excess, you get promoted and you enjoy 43 00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:14,120 doing overtime at work, doing what you love. 44 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:19,980 But you completely ignore your health, you don’t take your time to replenish your physical 45 00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:20,980 power. 46 00:03:20,980 --> 00:03:26,170 In the long run, this can be very detrimental, it can even shorten your life. 47 00:03:26,170 --> 00:03:32,090 If you use one resource to excess, you end up creating disharmony in the universe, your 48 00:03:32,090 --> 00:03:38,820 vital force – your Qi will not be balanced and, as a consequence, you can feel tired, 49 00:03:38,820 --> 00:03:40,140 irritable, stressed. 50 00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:44,160 You can even feel pain, actual muscle weakness. 51 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:49,379 It can affect your health and you may underperform in other areas of your life. 52 00:03:49,379 --> 00:03:54,600 Just like any structure or a building that is supported by equal upright pillars, the 53 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:58,190 resources you have are the pillars of your well-being. 54 00:03:58,190 --> 00:04:01,959 You have to nurture and balance all of them. 55 00:04:01,959 --> 00:04:07,480 Managing resources in our everyday lives – be it in what we eat, what we wear, how we live, 56 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:13,150 how we work – might just be the antidote to our stressful modern, consumption-led world 57 00:04:13,150 --> 00:04:18,400 as taoism embraces a more balanced approach, that is to say having just enough to meet 58 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,340 your needs, not your wants. 59 00:04:21,340 --> 00:04:26,880 This leads to living a sustainable lifestyle that embraces the pleasures of existence rather 60 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:32,630 than those of consumption and when you focus on the pleasures of existence, you live the 61 00:04:32,630 --> 00:04:36,870 heaven’s way - a simple, happy life. 62 00:04:36,870 --> 00:04:38,880 2. 63 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:43,380 Relationships In the words of Lao Tzu “The sage does not 64 00:04:43,380 --> 00:04:44,380 hoard. 65 00:04:44,380 --> 00:04:47,500 The more he does for others, the more he has. 66 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:52,910 The more he thereby gives to others, the ever more he gets.” 67 00:04:52,910 --> 00:04:58,130 To live according to Tao, you must live in harmony with everything around you, your community, 68 00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:02,080 nature, and with the universe on a larger scale. 69 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:08,110 Living in harmony means to do no harm and, moreover, to nurture, protect and contribute 70 00:05:08,110 --> 00:05:10,930 to the well-being of everything around you. 71 00:05:10,930 --> 00:05:16,300 As we all humans are part of this universe, we have to see others as our extended family, 72 00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:18,770 we have to take care of each other. 73 00:05:18,770 --> 00:05:23,560 In Taoism, there is a karmic principle, which says that everything you do, will eventually 74 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,590 come back to you in one way or another. 75 00:05:26,590 --> 00:05:32,550 Thus, if we care about others, if we give our help and support, these good deeds will 76 00:05:32,550 --> 00:05:38,580 come back to us in the end, we will receive back even more care, love and support. 77 00:05:38,580 --> 00:05:43,580 On the contrary, if we hurt other people and the environment, we are not acting in harmony 78 00:05:43,580 --> 00:05:49,040 with human society, with the universe and the harm we did to others will harm us even 79 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,020 more in the end. 80 00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:56,080 The moral is that everything you do to others or to the environment is a seed of everything 81 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:59,100 that will be done to you later. 82 00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:04,110 No person is an island and being happy has much to do with the relationship between you 83 00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:05,730 and what surrounds you. 84 00:06:05,730 --> 00:06:10,430 There are many scientific studies proving the importance of having a healthy social 85 00:06:10,430 --> 00:06:15,570 life for example – a Harvard study on adult development found that good relationships 86 00:06:15,570 --> 00:06:19,810 are the key factors that matter the most for long-lasting happiness. 87 00:06:19,810 --> 00:06:22,900 Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. 88 00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:27,710 One of the most important ways to achieve a life long happiness is to focus on meaningful 89 00:06:27,710 --> 00:06:33,600 relationships and on trying to improve or eliminate the bad relationships in our lives. 90 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:39,729 To really start to implement this Taoist way of living, as an exercise, make three lists: 91 00:06:39,729 --> 00:06:44,949 a list with your family members and close friends, then another list with people you 92 00:06:44,949 --> 00:06:49,810 have hurt and finally a third list with people who have hurt you. 93 00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:55,100 The first list is the list of people you should take care of on a daily basis, give them comfort 94 00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:59,230 and support them always, in both the good and bad times. 95 00:06:59,230 --> 00:07:03,680 The second list is the list of people you should apologize to and try to repair the 96 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,490 harm you caused them. 97 00:07:05,490 --> 00:07:10,390 The last list is the list of people you must forgive, because resentment is a poison and 98 00:07:10,390 --> 00:07:15,110 it can cause more harm to you than to the person who harmed you. 99 00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:20,430 All human beings are part of this cosmic force, Tao, and the way we treat each other is basically 100 00:07:20,430 --> 00:07:22,949 the way we treat ourselves. 101 00:07:22,949 --> 00:07:27,260 Live in harmony with others, take care of others as you take care of yourself or of 102 00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:34,780 a family member, take care of your environment and your life will become harmonious and peaceful. 103 00:07:34,780 --> 00:07:36,930 3. 104 00:07:36,930 --> 00:07:41,539 Self-development To quote Lao Tsu “A great nation is like 105 00:07:41,539 --> 00:07:46,060 a great man:When he makes a mistake, he realizes it. 106 00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:49,080 Having realized it, he admits it. 107 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,949 Having admitted it, he corrects it. 108 00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:57,539 He considers those who point out his faults as his most benevolent teachers.” 109 00:07:57,539 --> 00:08:01,389 Striving for excellence should be a primary focus in life. 110 00:08:01,389 --> 00:08:07,050 In Taoism, to achieve excellence means to achieve an advanced level of self-mastery, 111 00:08:07,050 --> 00:08:12,860 to stop taking things personally, to think before reacting, to know how to listen to 112 00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:16,230 criticism and learn from it. 113 00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:20,690 Mastering your fears and emotions are the keys to achieving happiness. 114 00:08:20,690 --> 00:08:25,840 Taoist masters always talked about the importance of the words you use and the things you do, 115 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:30,690 because they become the “house you will live in”, which means they have great consequences 116 00:08:30,690 --> 00:08:36,050 for your life, they can affect your relationships, your career and your well-being. 117 00:08:36,050 --> 00:08:41,259 To live happily, you have to build a beautiful house from your words and actions and self-mastery 118 00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:43,849 plays a major key in this. 119 00:08:43,849 --> 00:08:49,630 People who spend enough time to work on self-development and self-mastery understand themselves in 120 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:55,699 a better way, they can control their thoughts, they know how to avoid negative thinking and 121 00:08:55,699 --> 00:08:58,430 they know how to learn from their mistakes. 122 00:08:58,430 --> 00:09:02,089 Growing personally leads to more happiness. 123 00:09:02,089 --> 00:09:07,209 The first test of self-mastery is to be able to realize, then admit your mistakes and then 124 00:09:07,209 --> 00:09:08,579 correct them. 125 00:09:08,579 --> 00:09:14,470 Oftentimes, this can prove to be very difficult: we are blinded by pride and by the fear to 126 00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:19,959 lower ourselves in the eyes of others, so we cover up our mistakes with lame excuses. 127 00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:26,220 However, by passing this simple but important test, you can prove to be a mature person, 128 00:09:26,220 --> 00:09:30,540 capable of recognizing and indeed correcting your mistakes. 129 00:09:30,540 --> 00:09:35,990 The second test is to be able to listen to and learn from the people who criticize you, 130 00:09:35,990 --> 00:09:38,339 who point out your faults. 131 00:09:38,339 --> 00:09:42,759 It takes strength and discipline to be able to hide your anger and embarrassment while 132 00:09:42,759 --> 00:09:47,310 listening to hard criticism, but this is what you should do if you want to learn from your 133 00:09:47,310 --> 00:09:49,639 mistakes and polish your character. 134 00:09:49,639 --> 00:09:54,800 Moreover, Lao Tzu suggests that you also have to be grateful when somebody points out your 135 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:59,610 mistakes, as it is a great opportunity for you to become aware of your faults and to 136 00:09:59,610 --> 00:10:01,160 improve yourself. 137 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:05,879 To pass these two tests, you firstly need the right mental attitude. 138 00:10:05,879 --> 00:10:11,010 You need to understand that your mistakes are not statements about who you truly are, 139 00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:14,649 but are indicators of where you are at the moment. 140 00:10:14,649 --> 00:10:18,730 To go further, you need to know where you are - what kind of mistakes you are still 141 00:10:18,730 --> 00:10:24,870 making and you need a proper map, the “teachers” – the people who point out your defects. 142 00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:29,920 As a useful practice, stop for a few minutes every evening and write down the mistakes 143 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:34,160 you made and think about what criticism you received that day. 144 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:39,660 Make a plan to correct the mistakes and character defects that have been pointed out to you. 145 00:10:39,660 --> 00:10:42,759 Follow it, and keep a record of your improvements. 146 00:10:42,759 --> 00:10:47,929 In Taoism, discipline is not based on self-motivation, but on mastering your energies. 147 00:10:47,929 --> 00:10:52,750 If you are able to master your energies, then you will have the maturity to correct your 148 00:10:52,750 --> 00:10:56,790 mistakes and learn from the criticism you receive. 149 00:10:56,790 --> 00:11:03,310 4) Self-maintenance As we learn from Lao Tzu “He who treasures 150 00:11:03,310 --> 00:11:06,939 his body as much as the world can care for the world. 151 00:11:06,939 --> 00:11:13,329 He who loves his body as much as the world can be entrusted with the world.” 152 00:11:13,329 --> 00:11:17,050 Self-maintenance in Taoism means respecting your body. 153 00:11:17,050 --> 00:11:22,019 The human body is said to have its own energy pattern, which is known as Zang-Fu. 154 00:11:22,019 --> 00:11:28,860 The Zang-Fu model has particular organs that correspond to the Five Elements - Wood, Fire, 155 00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:31,509 Earth, Metal and Water. 156 00:11:31,509 --> 00:11:37,209 The organs have Yin and Yang properties assigned, which, if not balanced, will result in particular 157 00:11:37,209 --> 00:11:38,519 illnesses. 158 00:11:38,519 --> 00:11:44,589 To keep the Yin and Yang energies in balance, Taoism recommends the practice of Wu-Wei, 159 00:11:44,589 --> 00:11:51,079 which means doing “action through non-action”, in other words, to be in a “flow state”, 160 00:11:51,079 --> 00:11:53,290 to do things effortlessly. 161 00:11:53,290 --> 00:11:59,110 By practicing Wu-Wei, we can reach a state of complete spontaneity and happiness, the 162 00:11:59,110 --> 00:12:00,939 state of “Ziran”. 163 00:12:00,939 --> 00:12:05,089 In Taoism, you are happy when you are able to follow the spontaneous course of things 164 00:12:05,089 --> 00:12:10,800 and, to achieve the state of happiness, you have to know how to balance the Yin-Yang energies 165 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,799 in your body. 166 00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:17,209 Sometimes our body has too much Yin, sometimes too much Yang. 167 00:12:17,209 --> 00:12:23,679 Yin regulates the parasympathetic nervous system - rest and digest state, Yang the sympathetic 168 00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:29,410 nervous system - “flight or fight” state, which is most typically activated by danger. 169 00:12:29,410 --> 00:12:35,980 If we have too much Yin, we become demotivated, lazy, we miss out on the joy which new adventures 170 00:12:35,980 --> 00:12:37,290 can bring. 171 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:42,649 On the other hand, if we have too much Yang, we become over-stressed, we don’t relax 172 00:12:42,649 --> 00:12:48,610 enough, we don’t recuperate enough, and this can be extremely damaging to our health. 173 00:12:48,610 --> 00:12:53,040 We need to make sure that we balance the Yin and Yang in our bodies. 174 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,459 Each of our organs has to be in balance. 175 00:12:55,459 --> 00:13:00,439 For example, our brain: scientists proved that our brain functions best when it has 176 00:13:00,439 --> 00:13:06,610 medium levels of stress or, in other words, when Yin and Yang are at an equilibrium. 177 00:13:06,610 --> 00:13:10,079 We need both rest and stimulation in our lives. 178 00:13:10,079 --> 00:13:15,750 Taoism glorifies the human body, comparing it sometimes with a country, the spirit being 179 00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:19,300 the king and the other viscera being the officials. 180 00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:25,199 As a country must be administered and led very well, so too the body. 181 00:13:25,199 --> 00:13:29,579 Before somebody tries to take leadership of anything in this world, they have to first 182 00:13:29,579 --> 00:13:34,930 be able to take leadership of their own body and they have to be able to administer it 183 00:13:34,930 --> 00:13:36,889 with excellence. 184 00:13:36,889 --> 00:13:41,899 To implement the taoist wisdom of the body in our lives, we need to apply practices like 185 00:13:41,899 --> 00:13:45,470 meditation, qigong, and mindfulness. 186 00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:50,089 This will help us to slow down in our fast paced modern world. 187 00:13:50,089 --> 00:13:55,059 This way we can learn to respect our body more, taking care of it in a more serious 188 00:13:55,059 --> 00:13:56,209 way. 189 00:13:56,209 --> 00:14:01,019 To balance the Yin and Yang energies, we need to organize our schedule in such a way that 190 00:14:01,019 --> 00:14:07,559 we alternate intense periods of activity – your Yang with relaxing periods of your Yin. 191 00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:13,319 We need to sleep enough, to eat and have a satisfying sexual relationship, but we also 192 00:14:13,319 --> 00:14:18,899 need to put ourselves out of our comfort zone, by doing intense mental work at our job or 193 00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:24,360 by performing intense physical activity or by facing the inconvenience of speaking in 194 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,899 public for example. 195 00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:32,040 There is a great link between our body and our mental state and spirit. 196 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:37,129 To take care of our body means to know how to balance our energy, our Yin and Yang and 197 00:14:37,129 --> 00:14:43,669 this balance leads to Ziran, a state of naturalness and happiness. 198 00:14:43,669 --> 00:14:48,730 Developing all of these 4 fundamental areas is mandatory if we want to have a happy life 199 00:14:48,730 --> 00:14:52,410 and ignoring even one of them can lead to unhappiness. 200 00:14:52,410 --> 00:14:57,459 In other words, when a person is unhappy, this means that there is a dramatic lack in 201 00:14:57,459 --> 00:15:00,999 at least one of those 4 fundamental life areas. 202 00:15:00,999 --> 00:15:06,750 For example, if we ignore an area like self-development, our relationships can start to suffer, because 203 00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:11,550 we are not capable of learning from our mistakes and we continuously hurt other people. 204 00:15:11,550 --> 00:15:14,999 As a consequence, we will become unhappy in time. 205 00:15:14,999 --> 00:15:19,499 The wise thing to do is to schedule our week in such a way that we allocate enough time 206 00:15:19,499 --> 00:15:26,970 to reflect and work on each of the 4 areas in order to live a happy and fulfilling life. 207 00:15:26,970 --> 00:15:30,869 As we said at the beginning, this video is sponsored by NordVPN. 208 00:15:30,869 --> 00:15:35,720 Typically, when you try to access a website on the internet, you start by connecting to 209 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:41,269 your internet service provider, and they redirect you to any websites that you 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