One of the most important questions of our lives, of our history of human creativity,
of philosophy is how we can find ourselves, how we define our values and how ultimately
we can find meaning in our lives.
In order to answer such questions, we dive deep into the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche,
who is one of the greatest thinkers of all time and a precursor of existentialism.
He was famously known for his unconventional ideas about morality and religion and in spite
of his controversial work, he proved to be a very deep thinker, showing great insights
into the true nature of human psychology, writing guidelines relating to how individuals
can shape their future by taking responsibility for who they are.
Nietzsche wrote several books, and his teachings have shaped the lives of many people; from
psychologists to poets, dancers to social revolutionaries.
According to Nietzsche, finding yourself is one of the most fundamental endeavors of your
life and so here are four steps, inspired by the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche,
which you can take from, to help you get closer to finding yourself and becoming who you truly
want to become.
01.
Don’t follow the herd mentality Nietzsche says “What we’ve called universal
values, what we have called truth, has always only ever been the personal expressions of
those who promoted them.”
Nietzsche believed a rigid societal code creates what he called the “herd mentality.”
Like a herd of animals, a herd mentality aims towards sameness, comfort and the preservation
of its population.
Similarly, the “moral code” of society has been fabricated by individuals and then
imposed on other people so that society can have control over human behavior.
Although that can protect us from certain extreme human behaviors, it also limits our
individuality and creativity.
Not only that; but the strict dogmatic judgment of human behavior can even make some individuals
more rebellious, resulting in extreme antisocial attitudes and - even worse - actions.
If these dictatorial boundaries and rules become tyrannical and unreasonably harsh,
the rebellious response can often be equally harsh.
If the moral code of society is flexible enough, then the people who have opposing views do
not have to be particularly forceful to make the change that they want to see in the world.
In real life, more often than not, it’s the case that morality is preached in a very
strict way.
It is not only that the societal, religious and educational structures present it that
way.
It is also the attitude of the majority of people that do not want to stand out from
the group in fear of being rejected.
Therefore, every person that stands out "too much", according to the representatives of
those groups, is someone that seems terrifying and dangerous.
It is a well-known fact that people are afraid of the unknown and that is perfectly mirrored
in this dynamic.
This can be seen in our everyday lives.
Whether it’s the middle ages or the modern day world, this dynamic is always present.
Whether it’s Galileo being killed for thinking outside the box, or at school when your classmates
ridiculed you or some other student for being different and standing out, it’s all cut
from the same cloth.
The herd consists of people that have amputated their creativity dreams and goals and are
feeling insecure and even threatened by everyone that exhibits those qualities.
Those people are afraid of change, afraid of admitting to themselves that some of their
potential has not been fully realized.
Although that realization is scary, an individualistic and driven person must not let themselves
be dragged down by other people’s mistakes in life.
Instead, you need to go your own way, leave the herd behind and then shine a light so
bright that it can’t be ignored.
You can start by questioning and silencing those negative voices that you internalized
when you were young.
Whether it’s a parent, a harsh teacher, a narcissistic partner, it doesn’t matter...Whoever
told you that you can’t do things that you would want to, probably told you that because
they were afraid of your success, because it would expose everything that is bad about
them.
So they wanted to limit your individuality and pull you back into the herd.
Also, being strong minded and courageous helps you withstand the frightening feeling of stepping
out of your comfort zone, since it’s an integral part of becoming who you really are.
2.
Embrace the difficulty of self-discovery In the words of Nietzsche: “No price is
too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”
Our instinctive and intuitive reaction is to evade all pain and suffering.
The technology and the easiness of achieving everything has made us ungrateful and we have
forgotten that suffering is an integral part of life.
However, according to Nietzsche, it's only when we are willing to face the challenges
of life that we are spiritually growing.
In 1873, when he was 29 years old, Nietzsche addressed this fundamental question of how
we find ourselves in a beautiful essay titled “Schopenhauer as Educator”.
In this essay, he argued that if someone wishes to be somebody in this life, to maximize their
potential, they need to take the difficult path, which often leads to isolation.
Being a loner is not easy, but this is one of the prices someone must pay for the privilege
of owning themselves.
To keep yourself from being overwhelmed by the tribe, you must distance yourself from
others, you need to strive to be free and this might lead to severe difficulties in
your life.
You should refuse taking an easy path and you should decide to embark in the quest for
gaining your freedom to be yourself, no matter how frightening it might be.
To be free means also to be free from all physiological and psychological needs, in
other words, to not let them drive you, but for you to drive them instead.
For example, whenever you feel an emotional urge to do something, like complaining to
somebody in a very passionate way, you must try to become first conscious of this impulse
and then decide if you should act upon it or not.
Nietzsche’s philosophy on this point is somehow similar to many modern-day motivational
gurus and ‘thought-leaders’, but the similarity is only on the surface.
If motivational gurus focus on self-development mostly in order to achieve worldly success
and a fulfilled life on a material and relational level, Nietzsche goes deeper.
For him, the fight is an inner fight, the struggle is to find himself and this quest
is a much more difficult quest, requiring a very different kind of sacrifice.
For example, if a motivational guru teaches you how to be more confident in order to become
popular and attract investors for your business, Nietzsche teaches you to first analyze the
primary root of your desire to be confident and, usually, you’ll find it is just the
desire to impress other people such as your loved ones and your friends, or to prove a
point about yourself to society in general.
A simple analysis might make you give up this desire and focus more on what really matters
in your life, on much deeper issues, like self-discovery.
And this endeavor might make you a loner.
Not accepting to compromise yourself can very well put you in conflict with many people.
It means changing your lifestyle, it means giving up friendships or other types of relationships,
to look deep into your fears, to analyze your deepest emotions, your darkness and to rise
above them.
You have to break down the chains of opinion and fear.
Nietzsche encourages us to "challenge our own demons", but you should not cast them
out, as, beyond them, there is a deep meaning which you should try to understand.
You need to get out there in the world, do things, experience different temptations,
but be always present with your entire consciousness, and, in the end, emerge as an individual with
a distinct strength of character and a much richer inner nature.
If you don’t go out and experience life first hand in a fully aware state, you cannot
claim you have lived your life.
How far you can go depends on how much you are willing to pay for that.
To reach the state of self-ownership and to avoid going through life in a meaningless
way, without direction, you must learn how to find your inner genius.
To get in touch with your inner genius, you must walk a path no one has walked before,
as you are unique and no one can walk that path on your behalf.
Finding yourself is finding your uniqueness, that unique set of values and things you truly
love and which represent you.
3.
Say yes to what gives you meaning To quote Nietzche “He who has a why, can
bear almost any how” Nietzsche’s philosophy proposes that we
say yes to whatever gives us meaning in our own lives - the things we find value in personally.
In ages past, the meaning of everything was assured by God.
However, according to Nietzsche, in an increasingly secular and scientific society, one can no
longer turn to religion to find meaning.
He found this concerning, as the typical person would be driven to nihilism, meaning general
apathy and an unwillingness to find meaning in life, without help.
So he offers us three solutions that we, as individuals, can try to use to find meaning
in our lives.
His first suggestion was to replace religion with philosophy, art, music, literature, theater,
and other parts of the humanities to provide similar benefits.
The humanities offer us the ability to contextualize our sufferings, our efforts, and a chance
to see our lives as not so different from those around us.
They can offer insights into how we might tackle problems we must all face.
However it is important that we see them as a tool for living and not just as an academic
study; reading history not just for the facts, but for what those facts tell us - seeing
them as a way to edify yourself, or watching Tragic plays to see and comprehend the beauty
in sad events, not just the entertainment.
If humanities do not interest you, then Nietzsche suggests a second option of becoming an Übermensch.
The Übermensch is a superhuman that creates his own meaning and values without reference
to outside influences.
Such an individual can overcome the problem of the meaning of life by simply inventing
his own meaning and taking full responsibility for it.
According to Nietzsche, only a few men came close to being an Ubermensch, and they were
Julius Caesar, Napoleon Bonapart, The Buddha and Goethe.
For us humans, we can hope to find some meaning in looking inward and evaluating what things
we really value and what things we only say we like because society tells us to.
Nietzsche sees the psychological evolution of humanity as an ever-advancing story, and
one which we should take a part in.
If becoming a superhuman isn’t something you value, then Nietzsche suggests another
method to find meaning, which is loving your life, no matter what it has in it.
Amor Fati, the love of fate, is one of Nietzsche’s most interesting ideas and one which can offer
us a great deal of solace when we most need it.
To love your fate is to know that everything that has happened in your life, the good,
the bad, and indeed the ugly, has contributed to who you are and what you are doing at this
very moment.
Trying to create yourself will lead to some failures, but embracing those failures alongside
your successes can help re-spark the love of life and can help you see the meaning of
it even in the worst moments.
4.
Find your true values Nietzsche asks us “What, if some day or
night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you:
This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable
times more … Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon
who spoke thus?”
Nietzsche believed that we need to create our own values to lift the ‘Greatest Weight’.
The ‘Greatest Weight’ is a metaphorical situation put forth by Nietzsche which represents
the feeling that crushes you into repeating past mistakes, because of the unevaluated
values you adopt from your herd.
The goal of this concept is to make you ask yourself – is what you are doing truly meaningful,
or are you just acting out what your herd thinks is right?
If you think that the things you are doing are worth repeating eternally, that you can
be sure you are fully individuated, you will have enough courage and strength to lift "the
greatest weight".
If you do not think that the way you have been living is worth repeating innumerably,
chances are, you haven’t formed your own values and you are still a slave to your society
and worse yet, to yourself.
If you find yourself repeating the same mistakes you always have and are left feeling crushed,
the chances are, you haven’t reevaluated the morals imposed on you by your herd.
Thus, you are not a fully developed individual, yet.
Once you reevaluate your moral landscape, only then "the greatest weight" can be lifted.
How many times have you found yourself turning a blind eye to someone gaslighting you, just
because you didn’t want to confront the person?
Or how many times have you heard your friend or yourself saying "m with the identical person
with identical problems".
If you were your own, with your own set of morals, you wouldn’t find yourself staying
in toxic relationships just because it’s "the right thing to do".
You would know that it’s just you just trying to be a good person by society’s standards
and that's not worth it.
Nietzsche suggests that “in every little thing ask yourself, do you desire this once
more and innumerable times over?”
If the answer is no, then you need to change yourself and reevaluate your values, then
and only then the weight can be lifted.
True good lies beyond standard definitions of good and evil.
Most of us live our lives in our self-imposed jail.
Our jail cells are blandly pre-subscribed by social beliefs that captivate the wildness
and individualism of the human spirit.
Many of us submit to the comfort of this cage.
Nietzsche recognized that we can escape our enclosure of forced beliefs and awaken ourselves
to what we value personally.
To break free and to create your own values and meaning in life, you have to undergo this
transformation, you have to go through this rebellious phase.
You need to have the courage to break the chains of tradition, of religion, of society
and perhaps you even have to distance yourself from several people in your life.
It doesn’t need to be a violent and sudden reaction, it can - and should - be a smart,
calm, but definitive one.
You can start with making a list of everything and everyone you think limits your freedom
to be yourself.
It can be an unfortunate unwritten rule at your workplace, it could be your spouse who
always tries to control and correct your behavior, or it may be your friends or your parents
who criticize you when you behave in a particular way.
Once you’ve done this, try to think of possible strategies of how to change that situation:
maybe you could have a discussion with your spouse in which you can talk about the issue,
perhaps you talk to your colleagues or supervisors in a meeting at work regarding the problems
you are experiencing, how it affects you and how you would like it to change, or you could
find new friends who can appreciate you better.
When you feel overtaken by “the greatest weight,” you don’t need to hide your aspirations,
but instead you need to breakout from your self-made herd-based prison and chase after
the dreams that give meaning to your life.
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Thanks so much for watching.