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Hello and welcome to Revolutionize Your Love Life.

Do you want to know more about love relationships?

What makes them work?

How to create the one of your best dreams?

Do you want to be in a really healthy,

juicy love relationship?

In these podcasts, we will give ideas and

practical advice to light your way.

Whether you're looking for a love partner,

already in a relationship, you wish could be better.

Or leaving one that has run its course.

There will be something to inspire, empower and support you.

Revolutionize Your Love Life is a fortnightly podcast where you will access

the knowledge and wisdom of love experts and

relationship coaches from across the world to help you find true fulfillment in love.

I am your host, Heather Garbett.

Welcome.

>> Hi, Eva.

It's really good to be with you.

I'm really happy to be doing this recording with you about loneliness and

how to get through it.

Life and love beyond loneliness.

>> I have a so important topic and I'm so excited that we are talking about it today.

>> That's great.

So we're both love coaches.

We're specializing in calling in the one, which is basically if you're single and

you want to find true love, this is the program for you.

But today we're going to talk about loneliness.

Were you lonely at Christmas?

Were you the only single person at your New Year's party?

Did you choose a wrong person so as not to be alone?

Were you feeling that desperate and lonely?

Did you feel the odd one out at the Christmas dinner table?

Did you feel that there's something wrong with you?

If this is you, then you're really not alone.

We hear this all the time, don't we, Eva?

>> Yeah, we do.

And I said, we are here to support you because we don't want you to feel lonely anymore.

And sometimes we feel that if we stay alone, might be safe space for us.

For all of my clients, it's like being alone means I feel safe.

And so sometimes we cover up and don't show up till we are desperate.

And then we choose the wrong person to be with, just from the desperation.

Because otherwise we pretend that we are okay, that it's okay to be alone.

We had enough suffering with guys or ladies.

But you know, you can end up with suffering.

If you overcome the inner feeling you develop through the pain and the relationships.

>> Yeah.

And this is not something that's easily done on your own.

We can't think outside of our own box.

And if we're changing something that is so fundamental and fear driven,

emotional fear, fear of being overwhelmed, fear of not being understood.

Here are loads and loads of different reasons why people choose not to have relationships.

My life won't be my own anymore.

These things need to be made conscious and held, held steady while you change those beliefs.

And get more confidence in yourself to be able to care for you.

As we've been talking about loneliness and solitude, the loneliness is when you're alone inside yourself.

And there's nobody else there and you feel full of longing.

Whereas solitude is a much healthier, more evolved place where you can be with yourself and

listen to your feelings and needs.

And have a loving presence inside even though there's nobody else anywhere needing.

And that's what we want for you.

>> Yeah, because we can feel lonely physically,

like when we don't have anybody around us.

And if we choose it, it's okay because it's good to be alone sometimes, time for ourselves.

But if we can't be with anybody or we feel lonely physically.

And especially when we have also that inner feeling I am alone, that it's really big suffering.

Because you can feel alone inside also when you are with the people around you.

And so to really be able to be connected back to yourself and

actually connected to the love and possibility of having nice relationship,

it's actually working with this inner belief, which can be very, very painful.

And it can bring you to more loneliness that you even imagine.

Because sometimes we actually do things we don't want.

It's like really, if we don't want to be alone, unconsciously we do everything to be alone.

Sometimes if we don't know that we push people away from us and

create it self-sufficient, say that you can do everything that you don't need anybody.

You don't ask for help and it actually creates even more loneliness.

And you might not be aware of it.

>> That's the key thing.

So much of the dynamics inside that drive these patterns are unconscious.

And that's where you need to have somebody to help you.

To really see it and to make you feel safe enough to see it.

Because natural self-protection, emotional self-protection keeps things unconscious.

Whereas if you've got a group or somebody's hand to hold,

then you feel much safer and can open up and can depend just a little bit

enough that you can change your beliefs and feel stronger in yourself.

>> Yeah, this is the thing how you can feel your inner true self again.

Like how to do it or who you need to be actually to create new life.

Because if we are really deep in feeling lonely, we can only survive.

It's not life where we cannot create and we can enjoy.

It's mostly survival and being victim.

And what we want to support you to really become creative with your life and

start to create your life as you would like.

And also if somebody who can support you fully.

But actually if you have inner feeling like nobody is there for me,

I need to do everything on my own.

It's nobody I can ask for help.

This is the red flag.

This is the symptom of your false belief.

>> Yeah, yeah.

So shall we tell them about our course?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

So at the end of February, I think we start on February the 20th.

We're running an eight week course, which is calling in the one.

And this is to do this work together in a small group.

It's private.

And we'd just love to have you there if you would like to.

And so that you can decide if this is right for you.

We're running two workshops called desire.

They'll be identical so you can come to one or the other.

And they're on the 13th or 13th of February or the 30th of January going backwards.

And they're in the daytime.

But if you wanted to, you could have access to that with us.

>> Yes, you can send us a message or email for more information.

But actually the desire one, 30 of January,

it's two 30 UK time or three 30 European time.

So you can join us and actually be with us and experience our work.

Because we love to support groups together.

And we have amazing feedbacks because people feel safe and

hold and they can see profound change within themselves through the process.

And it's what we stand for, stand for love, connection.

And really for people to fulfill their relationships.

>> It's wonderful.

>> So if you're interested, email us.

You can email me at Heather at HeatherGobbert.com or ever at.

>> And listen, don't see that.

>> That's it, that's it.

I always forget that piece.

Or you can direct message either of us on Facebook.

We'd be delighted to hear from you.

If you want this to be your year of love, take some action now.

>> I can't wait to see you.

>> Thank you so much for listening to this episode of

Revolutionize Your Love Life.

I'd like to know what has been your biggest takeaway from this conversation.

Do take a minute and share this with us and visit us on our Facebook page.

You can connect with me personally on my email at Heather at HeatherGobbert.com.

If you can think of someone who will benefit from listening to this podcast,

please do share it with them.

If you have any feedback on how I can improve it, please do reach out to me as

I'm always keen to learn more.

Thank you so much again for listening.

And we'll meet again on the next episode of Revolutionize Your Love Life.

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