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Hello and welcome to Revolutionize Your Love Life.

Do you want to know more about love relationships?

What makes them work?

How to create the one of your best dreams?

Do you want to be in a really healthy,

juicy love relationship?

In these podcasts, we will give ideas and

practical advice to light your way.

Whether you're looking for a love partner,

already in a relationship, you wish could be better.

Or leaving one that has run its course.

There will be something to inspire, empower and support you.

Revolutionize Your Love Life is a fortnightly podcast where you will access

the knowledge and wisdom of love experts and

relationship coaches from across the world to help you find true fulfillment in love.

I am your host, Heather Garbett.

Welcome.

>> Hello everyone and welcome to our desire workshop.

We're recording this for you so you can listen to it yourself and

do some of the work even if you can't make the times that we offer this in person.

So do you want to kiss the single life goodbye and end loneliness forever?

Do you want to attract soul level committed true love?

This is the workshop for you.

My name is Heather Garbett.

I've been a love and relationship coach for eight years now and

before that I was a psychotherapist for 40 years.

And I love doing calling in the one and I love this desire workshop as an introduction to that.

And I'm here with ever.

Would you like to introduce yourself ever?

>> Yes, thank you, Heather.

Hello everyone.

I'm Eva Andreessen.

I'm also relationship coach.

I work as a coach for last 10 years and I love this work.

I'm certified calling in the one coach and

I'm coupling coach and I all experience in my own life.

So it's always a big pleasure for me to support either other people on this journey.

>> Yes, we've both done our own calling in the one, haven't we?

>> Yes, lovely, lovely.

So just before we begin, I'd like you just to consider if you're in a victim space.

And be feeling free to let go of that and seek the power in everything we're going to teach you today.

Seek your personal power.

Okay.

So firstly, let's close our eyes.

Do an opening centering.

This will really help you tune into the deeper parts of yourself and

bring the unconscious to consciousness.

Take a deep breath.

And feel your sitting bones on the chair.

The support at your back and your feet on the floor.

As you breathe in, just feel that breath filling you up.

Like a kiss from the air.

As you breathe in, it warms your heart and

set it, it's allowing with love and light.

And as you breathe out, feel that love, that light spreading throughout your body.

Feel it filling your torso.

Feel it filling your legs.

Hang on it on the soles of your feet and the tips of your toes.

And feel it radiating beyond the boundaries of your skin.

Reaching out into the air and down into the earth.

Feel it grounded.

Feel the earth welcome you from beneath and hold you steady.

It helps you keep your balance and your perspective.

But also provides you with a real sense of fertility and creativity.

And these two mingled together to create inspired action and new insights.

And feel that pulsing now back up your legs, filling your body,

rising up your spine,

the wealth of attention for you,

the wealth of love for you.

And as it reaches your shoulder blades, let them drop down your spine and open your arms.

Feel yourself embracing love in all its forms.

And feel yourself absorbing, taking in.

And as you breathe out, feel yourself radiating well,

shining and strong.

The giving and receiving.

And feel your mind filled with this love and light,

with insight and energy.

Feel it open to possibility.

Now brow be soft and your cheeks soft, your eyes soft,

your tongue loosen your mouth

and your throat open, ready to join your heart with your voice

for your true expression.

And when you're ready,

just feel the skin meeting the air,

feel your eyelids resting one upon the other

and when you're ready, open your eyes.

Thank you, Heather, for this beautiful centering.

I think that everybody is just ready to open their hearts

and ready to our workshop, the workshop in name desire.

And now we start with the letter D,

because it's about define your object of your desire.

So what qualities would you like to experience in your relationship?

If you would like to call in your one,

but you would like to experience with this person what qualities

like commitment or respect, love, attraction,

for the values you would like to share together,

is very important to you.

Emotional intelligence or emotional connection, passion, adventure.

It's very important to you.

How do you want to be in your relationship?

So just take a few minutes, maybe pause the video now

and write all it is you would like to have in your relationship.

How you would like to shape your life together?

So just write with really, really important to you from your heart.

Know what it should be good to have a relationship

but would you really feel that it's essential for you?

Thank you.

Thank you ever.

Now you've got some idea of the qualities of relationship that you want.

You can include trust, commitment, affection,

all the love languages that speak to you.

We're going to do E for exact, where we build on this.

Get really exact on what you want.

Really name it

and we'll set an intention

from that exact image, that exact feeling.

This will strengthen your focus.

Give yourself a timeline, maybe.

Maybe it's a year from now, but name the date.

And start with something like, I'm so grateful to be in a mutually committed,

loving relationship with the love of my life.

And you might want to add some more adjectives from your defining from earlier.

And then let's create the vision from that.

This is the year from now, or maybe five years from now.

When you're celebrating your second wedding anniversary.

Or you've reached a summit of a hill together and you're looking at the view.

And it's giving you that feeling of looking back at your time together.

You might be sharing a coffee, doing just that thing, with joy and gratitude.

And maybe think of the phrase that you're saying to each other.

It could be something like, my darling, you're looking so beautiful,

as beautiful as on our wedding day.

Thank you for a wonderful five years.

I'm looking forward to the next 20 together.

Next 30 together, the next 40 together.

Whatever it is.

And write that down.

Get as much stents of it as you can, the feels of it.

Now, are you feeling sitting on the chair?

Are you feeling, sitting, looking out at the view?

Are you feeling in terms of the contact of their arm next to yours?

Are you feeling, gazing into their eyes?

And then make a recording of everything that you've written,

so that you can listen to it again.

Time and time and time to really reinforce this.

And then you can start living from there.

Take a moment just to do that.

To get the writing done.

And then we'll move on to the next piece, with Eva.

I hope that you took your time to write the exact,

and now we are going to letter S, cell development.

Because how to get to what you just created, how to get your intention.

And I would like to ask you to stop with that how.

Because it's not about how, it's mostly about,

about creating the space for love to happen.

So we need to look for support.

How to create new habits, how we can change inside.

Now we can have new skills.

So like, what do I need to do to actually create this beautiful love,

this beautiful relationships.

It's not about doing different stuff.

For it starts first with you.

What do you block inside of you, by your thoughts, by your feelings.

That you can't have this relationship, that you don't have it till now.

And maybe it might be something like that you don't care enough about yourself and your feelings.

And you need to get back to yourself, connect back to your feelings and needs.

Because it's so essential to be connected to your true self.

And it's about being the right partner for your right partner.

So just take your time and write any old beliefs or patterns or inner blogs.

You think that might be blocking you from having this beautiful relationship in your life.

Just observe.

Just take your time to see what stops you.

Maybe it can be like being single, it's safe for me.

Or being single, it's not painful.

It's like nobody will have hurt me.

Also it can be like inner beliefs about yourself.

I'm not good enough to have beautiful relationship or I'm not loveable.

Just take your time to check inside, maybe even close your eyes and connect.

With the feelings that are stopping you to have relationship.

Maybe if you close your eyes and you imagine that this coming first to you when you think about relationship.

What is there? Is there fear?

Or is there excitement?

Is there some feelingness or hopelessness or frustration?

What is there?

And just see what is there to stop being actually to be in your relationship.

And start first with yourself.

Just imagine that anything that's coming up is just your past.

The experience from your past.

And everything is terrible.

Loving yourself more.

Seeing your value.

So by uncovering your beliefs and feelings underneath.

It keeps you the opportunity to actually see what is really true.

So you can make room for love.

By prioritizing yourself and the possibility of your new relationship.

So if you write all these feelings or beliefs.

Just look at them and see what is true about them.

Is it really true or is it your just past experience?

Something you would like to take to the future or you can let it go.

You can leave it in your past.

And just start to listen to your feelings and it's again.

It can be something that you can take on.

So just pause this video and write everything that is coming to you around self-disruptment.

Thank you ever for introducing that so well.

It's a big piece that you will all just have written and thought about.

It will stir up lots of feelings.

And they'll be part of you that wants to go back to old ways.

And this is where we need to look at the letter "I" in desire.

And this is for being invincible.

So you need to step away from anything or anyone that pulls you off your path.

The universe will present you with opportunities to learn and grow.

And if you listen they won't have to be painful.

They will just have to be clear or even exciting.

But the negative parts, there might be people.

There might be parts of yourself.

There might be the culture you live or you work in.

Look at where you've got resentment, where you're holding back truth from somebody.

Let that go and let the bitterness that goes with resenting go.

Express yourself with them, give them a chance to change.

And if they don't, just step back and disinvest in that relationship.

If you've got an old agreement with somebody in the past,

"Oh, we'll get together again when our marriages are over,

when we've had our children, when we live in the same country again."

Or "I'll never love anybody but you."

Look at those agreements and write a letter not to send,

but to whoever you made it with saying, "I'm now breaking this agreement once and for all."

I'm going to be free to make my own choices and let go of the past, which includes you.

I wish you well. Goodbye.

You'll notice too that you have some toxic relationships.

And these are likely to be with people who fit neatly with your old patterns,

who want to hold you in a place where you're caring for them.

You'll see it. They're people who make you feel drained,

or where you do all the work in the relationship,

or they make you feel bad if you don't look after them.

You want to be moving away from people that drain you.

All situations that create resentments, all of those things,

and pay attention to them now and clean them up.

If there are people that in your life that you don't want to give to,

you'll need to learn how to step back and draw boundaries from them.

You're going to need to learn how to speak up for yourself and your own feelings and needs.

And learn who you can trust with your inner self and who you can't.

And that's a really cool part of our work.

So take a few minutes now to write down if there's anybody that you're resenting,

anybody that you have an old agreement with,

anybody that drains you or stresses you that you would like to distance from,

just to make a note.

Even this awareness will shift things like me, if not significantly.

Yes, so true, Heather.

So I hope that you post the video and write all about toxic ties or old agreements,

and we are moving to let her are relationships.

And it's about to really see we would like to have around you who supports you,

who lifts you up, who is light-minded.

Because there is big myth of many people, like I need to be good with everyone.

I need to have a good relationship with everybody, but it's a big pitfall.

Because usually if we want to be good with everyone, we usually suppress ourselves.

And we don't want you to suppress anymore.

Suppress your feelings, suppress who you are.

You want you to surround yourself with people who sees you, who see your greatness.

What they want, who wants you to be as you are.

Sometimes with the toxic people, they just want you to be as they want them,

want you to be.

But now it's about you.

So, who you need to be to stay in an alignment with your intention, with your true self.

It's about that you notice what is good for you, what people you would like to have in your life,

who have similar path as you, who gives you empowerment.

If who you feel excited to have anybody like this in your life,

maybe you have and do spend enough time with them.

We have a look how you can reconnect with these people.

How you can maybe spend less people with people who drains you,

and reconnect more with people who supports you.

Really enjoy being with you, who cares about you, who really cares deeply.

Sometimes we think that somebody cares about us,

but when we look closer, we see that they control us.

So, they have a look.

Is it that caring, that you feel, that supports you and you feel great,

or is it like more controlling way,

and which might occur as that care.

Just start to notice.

Start to notice with who you feel joy and relaxed.

Who you feel that you don't need to pretend anything,

with who you can really show yourself up,

and you can enjoy being yourself,

and you can have similar values or goals, and you can empower each other.

So, just think about who you have in your life.

If there is nobody, just think who you would like to have,

like friends or people around you.

How does it look like when you have people who supports you,

and also you can attract more people,

like you really cares about you.

Because we don't want to create relationships with people who don't trust us,

or with who we need to always play small, be small.

So, you are ready to play your true self, play big,

and enjoy yourself.

We just take your time and write about your relationships,

which supports you.

And now you've paused and you've done that piece of writing

on the relationships of like minds that lift you up.

Particularly if you had any problem with that,

this next piece is invaluable.

It's about energy, enthusiasm, enjoyment and engagement.

That's the last "e" in desire.

Allow yourself to have your full liveliness and enthusiasm.

Be in your feminine if you're a woman.

Everything is much less effort,

and it makes you magnetic to all that you desire

and want to create.

Embrace what inspires you.

It really feeds your soul.

This is where your inspired action will come from.

You need to keep in your happy self, your optimistic, positive self.

And this comes from being kind to yourself,

enjoying yourself with those like-minded people doing

activities you all enjoy.

It's giving yourself what you need.

And it also means listening to that little voice within.

It's your highest and wisest inner voice

that will whisper to you if things are good for you

or not good for you.

And while you're in this high energy of self-care,

you will draw towards you much better life experiences.

And other people who feed your soul and warm your heart.

Ultimately, this is from where you will call in your one.

Take your time now and just write down the things that you enjoy.

Things that give you pleasure and enthusiasm.

Those little things you think, "Oh, I'll do that another day."

Or, "I really ought to get the work done." No.

This is where you nourish yourself first.

The work will get done with much more lightness and energy

if you feed yourself first.

So, take your time to write a decade.

And we would like to know how was it for you?

If you'd like to share with us,

we will give you our email addresses

or we can write us on Facebook.

And we would love to hear from you.

You can even have some introductory session with us

if you would like to share more about your desire.

And we would love to welcome you also to our journey

of calling in the one.

It's love, it's ready for you. You are the source of love.

So, just be open.

And if you would like to have support, you have us.

Thank you so much.

We look forward to hearing your successes,

seeing your development and watching you shine.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Revolutionize Your Love Life.

I'd like to know what has been your biggest takeaway from this conversation.

Do take a minute and share this with us and visit us on our Facebook page.

You can connect with me personally on my email at Heather@HeatherGarbert.com.

If you can think of someone who will benefit from listening to this podcast,

please do share it with them.

If you have any feedback on how I can improve it,

please do reach out to me as I'm always keen to learn more.

Thank you so much again for listening.

And we'll meet again on the next episode of Revolutionize Your Love Life.

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