Kittys and cliffs ===

Chesko: [00:00:00] Welcome to Mr. Pick Me and the Man Hater. I am Jesco the Man Hater. Nope. You were so confident. Steal it today. I'm going to steal the opening. They want, welcome to our show where we do. I'm Chesco. No, but it doesn't mean you have to. This is Reagan, the man hater. Cause I have to go first. It has to go in order.

Regan: Oh, okay. You tell me.

Chesko: Only she doesn't hate men.

Regan: That's right. And who are you?

Chesko: Tell me. This is Chesco,

Regan: AKA Mr. Big Me, except he's already been dicked.

Chesko: Yep. I was, I, for some reason, I thought you were gonna throw it back again. But you didn't.

Regan: You [00:01:00] said it!

Chesko: Theme song! No, we didn't even talk about

Regan: it. I am so sorry.

Regan: This is what happens when Chesco starts. It's just immediately off the rails, unhinged. Okay, so today we are going to be talking about some viral stories that have come up on both of our feeds that we just want to talk about. So instead of us focusing on one big topic, we're going to be breaking down.

Regan: Mini a story

Chesko: that was perfect.

Regan: What's that?

Chesko: theme song You want bad advice, man? I'll give it out. I got some good advice for you Got some good advice for you

Regan: Uh that intro was a shit joke, but um chesco assures me that you all love that so

Chesko: i've been told

Regan: Bye

Chesko: that it makes them feel better about their own lives when they [00:02:00] see You

Regan: These idiots have a podcast. Yeah,

Chesko: if they can do it, anybody can do it.

Regan: Oh my god.

Chesko: If they can have a podcast, I can go to work today.

Regan: If they can proudly have a podcast, I can answer this phone call or call the doctor and make an appointment. Okay, I saw this video and I saw a really good breakdown of it. Let me look up the creator who did a breakdown of it. So their username on TikTok is desiree4444. This is how I saw the story. And I was like What the hell?

Regan: So, this woman is hanging out with like, her childhood best friend. And he's like, Hey, do you wanna go on a hike? And she's like, sure. So she puts on, you know, her shorts and she's got like a tank top on. And she gets there and, uh, Nope. It is not. In fact, hiking, it is a literal mountain. They are mountain climbing and it's like deep incline.

Regan: [00:03:00] They're hanging on barely. Like you're, you're basically like tie yourself in and just go across like these little ropes and like these terrifying ladders and she has no equipment. The only thing this woman has to do, like to go on this

Chesko: horrifically

Regan: challenging climb is a carabiner. One, one carabiner, which means as she's climbing up this mountain, which again, like there's videos of it and he's like making fun of her for not having equipment.

Regan: Oh, I think it's probably because she thought she was going hiking, you psycho.

Chesko: Right.

Regan: So she's like climbing and like, you can see it's literally like the edge of a mountain. Like when she turns, there's nothing but a steep drop. And so because she only has one carabiner, there's moments where she has to undo the carabiner.

Regan: And stand there completely untethered, and then hook it back on.

Chesko: Spoiler, she, she's alive still, right? She's right? I have to make sure this isn't like, posthumously, they found her phone and posted these [00:04:00] online.

Regan: I need to know if she's alive. Or posthumously? How do you say that? I don't know. I don't know.

Chesko: I'm gonna say both. That way, I know the correct one. It's in there. And people can She's It's one of them.

Regan: Well, yeah, you do need to know that she's alive so that it's like, you can laugh and or not laugh, but at least make jokes. Okay. So he makes her do this again the whole time. He's like making comments to her, like, Oh, you didn't have your equipment.

Regan: Like you're not dressed right. And it's like, yeah, because you lied to her. She thought she was like going on a normal hike and he has her on the edge of a mountain.

Chesko: There's there's a very well before you get to the story, like even more, um, There's a very specific type of guy that does this. Cause this is not, this is not like a very specific one thing.

Chesko: There's a type of guy that does this and they bring people along and they do it to, to also to other men is as like challenges of their, their masculinity, but they especially love doing it to women because they think it makes them look really impressive. I feel like, cause it's the more they [00:05:00] struggle, I feel like it's their way of showing, Oh, you struggled, but look how.

Chesko: Easy. This was for me doing this thing that I've prepared for and showed up for.

Regan: Well, it gets even more nefarious. Okay. So again, she's not, she's not ready for this. And this is a very challenging hike. Like this is something that only extremely experienced hikers do. So he's got

Chesko: a challenging one for me.

Chesko: So I'm already impressed.

Regan: Excuse me. It's it's mountain climbing. It's not hiking. It's literally the side of a mountain. And it's something that like only experienced people should be doing, right? So, she's literally doing her best. She's shaking. She's nervous. He's laughing at her for being nervous. They have to, like, it's like, it looks like staples.

Regan: Like, think about a staple enlarged enough one could step on, or like, On the edge of a literal cliff mountain that you have to climb up and all she has is one measly carabiner between her and death. Meanwhile he has all his equipment, okay? You can tell I'm fired up about this.

Chesko: I can't even imagine, like, when [00:06:00] I, when I invite anybody anywhere, I am so terrified that they're uncomfortable.

Chesko: I'm like, what, like, the worst, it'll ruin my day if I find out they were not at their, if there was everything I could do to make their life better in that moment. One degree

Regan: too hot, and you're like, oh!

Chesko: Yeah, oh, I am the worst friend in the world. I'm so sorry. I should have thought about it.

Regan: I say, I'm saying I'm packing snacks.

Regan: I'm making sure like everybody is okay with it. Okay. It gets worse. So she finally gets the top of this incredibly long, incredibly dangerous hike, and this dude puts on a little like. suit for him to jump off. It's like a parrot, you know, but I've taught where it's like a suit and like, yeah, squirrels,

Chesko: little squirrel suits.

Chesko: Yeah,

Regan: squirrel suits. And he's like, Oh, [00:07:00] well, uh, I hope this goes. Okay. Like, but he says something like that, to the effect that it makes it seem like he's nervous. And he like zips up this little squirrel suit. And he's like, stay here. I'll come back and get you. Which, they're at the top of a huge mountain, cliff, whatever.

Regan: Understand how high up they have to be for him to be able to safely jump off. That's how high up they were.

Chesko: That's absurd.

Regan: He hands her his gloves, and then jumps off and leaves her. Yep. I

Chesko: know. Good for her for getting to that point, though. I don't know. How did she even do that? Forget this guy for a second.

Chesko: That is an impressive feat in general. It's fear. It's it's yeah. I mean, I think

Regan: it's literally straight up because she can't stop. What does she go back alone? I mean,

Chesko: it's

Regan: like, yeah, it reminds me of like, women are strong. Women are strong. It's like, no, they have to be, you know, it's like this girl, like, [00:08:00] or she could turn around, which like, she definitely didn't want to go that part alone.

Chesko: No, and

Regan: like so he just leaves her and eventually he comes back and gets her what a

Chesko: shitty dude

Regan: yeah, he gave her he like kind of begrudgingly gave her his gloves because He didn't want her hands to get torn up if she had to go back by herself. She was then left to be like, uh Do I go back by myself? Do I do this really dangerous?

Regan: climb without any help when I am not an experienced climber.

Chesko: Yeah. How long do you wait? Because

Regan: yes,

Chesko: you don't. Do you actually have at that point, do you have any trust that this person is going to do what they said they were going to do and come back and help you.

Regan: And this is supposedly her childhood friend.

Regan: And then we find out He's done the hike before he's done the mountain climb before like not only that but he's also jumped off it so there was no way he was actually scared he just said that to freak her out before he jumped off and he knew how hard it was because literally he has videos of him doing it in fact there's a safety ledge [00:09:00] that you're supposed to jump off of he actually posted a video of him jumping off like the side of a cliff the side of it like on a non safe part which Do you think maybe posting that for millions of people to see on the internet would encourage other people to jump from a non safe area?

Regan: That creator that I said broke down, like, exactly why, like, girl, this dude is Put you in at risk. Like this dude could have killed you. Like at, at any point, like legitimately

Chesko: that,

Regan: yeah. If she would have fallen, she's dead. Like, it was so sad. Cause she like, at first was defending him and saying like, Oh, we've known each other a long time.

Regan: And everyone's like, like this dude did not care. This dude was getting off on scaring you. Like there was many moments had you slipped, you would have died. And this guy knew completely new, like his, his, uh, like, I think his job is. Like, I don't know what that's like when you jump off with the little parachute suit.

Regan: Like, that's what he does professionally.

Chesko: That's [00:10:00] a job. I didn't even know that was a job you could have.

Regan: He does it enough to have a whole page on it. Whatever that means. It's now private. I wonder why.

Chesko: And the thing is, I guarantee you, In his mind, he didn't think she was in danger because he was like, Oh, she's just scared.

Chesko: She's fine. That it's that confidence. Cause I know guys like that, but no, no, no, no. But they would have, it would have been fine. There was never, she was never in any actual, yeah, there was real danger. That was actual real danger there.

Regan: I mean, it's hard to say. Cause it's like on the one hand, I know a lot of dudes that are like that, but as an experienced climber, climbing a mountain that, you know, is so dangerous.

Regan: You ask a girl to show up. You don't have her have any equipment besides a carabiner. Like she's literally wearing like normal Nike shoes while you have all the equipment. You're laughing about scaring her like repeatedly. There's moments where he's like joking around and again she has no experience.

Regan: And in mountain climbing she completely thought it [00:11:00] was a hike hike and had no experience mountain climbing So you look at like how steep the falls it's like at what point is he not nefariously enjoying torturing or upsetting her? That's what i'm wondering. It's like when do we go from? Oh, he's like a dude who just like whatever, you know, like just enjoys being the big man Does

Chesko: it

Regan: slip into like no, this is a dude who enjoys putting women at risk That's what I think is is the interesting like Which where is this guy?

Regan: Because to me, I think he's a very dangerous person who enjoys like scaring women and like like this is a situation where like a single slip up on her part and She would have gone down and he's like posting videos of her like like he's filming her while she's climbing And making fun of her, you know, it's like So clearly you thought this was tee hee hee like you enjoy and like I just can't imagine like after mountain climbing a very dangerous mountain getting to the top [00:12:00] and the guy be like deuces and Jumping off in a parachute and then me being stuck stuck at the top of a mountain

Chesko: You literally described a, a, uh, like a visceral, uh, ancient fear inside of me that I didn't even know I had.

Chesko: Like, I'm, I'm like, I'm, I'm imagining being in that situation and it's, it's honestly like the scariest thing I could imagine. I'm laughing because I'm so nervous thinking about being in it. Someone had put me in that situation where of just how much I would be mad at them forever. Like there is no, that is horrible.

Regan: Even just the idea of men who get off on women being scared, uh, is terrifying. But then you put in like how much risk he put her in. While trying to maintain like everything's fine And so she kept going like she went against her instincts because he's like, oh, it's fine Like let's we're laughing about i'm filming you It can't be that bad Like there was so much pressure on [00:13:00] her to appease him and to be the cool like the cool girl Like he's asked me i'm not gonna be like i'm not gonna this is too dangerous.

Regan: Nobody wants to be that person I I feel like there's an understanding with men that like girls and women don't want to be You know Looked at as not strong enough, not cool enough, not able. And so he got this poor woman to like, and she looks young. Um, she's, I would say could not be older than her early twenties.

Chesko: The thing is too, and we talked about this for any of you that want to join our Patrion and our pre show, we talked a little bit about how we forgive people too easily. Yes. Uh, about, we forget about things, but I think especially in situations like these afterwards, you can look back, especially if you did survive, you're fine.

Chesko: You can be like, Oh, I think you tend to kind of gaslight yourself and be like, Oh yeah, I guess it wasn't really that dangerous. I guess it was, I guess it was fine because I'm here now. So, I mean, it's, it's, it was, it must, you're right. I don't want to look like the wet blanket, right? I don't want to look like the one that was, you know, the, to [00:14:00] look bad when in reality, then you, you put it on the internet and everyone else is like, Oh, no, no, that's, that is the proper damp blanket to be in this situation.

Chesko: Like that is horrific. You do need other people though, a lot of times, and this is why it's important to have a, uh, people you can talk to and friends that you can just bounce things off of because sometimes you need other people to be like, to look at you like, are you okay? It wasn't that bad. That

Regan: is what happened.

Regan: Like afterwards she was actively defending him until enough people were like, Hey, here's why he risked literally risked your life for no reason. He set you up. It's not even like he told, like, it'd be one thing if he's like, Hey, I want to go on this really dangerous hike. You want to join? No. He said, we're going hiking.

Regan: And then took her to the side of a mountain. It was like. Just kidding. You don't have any equipment, but I'm going to make you go with me. Like, that is crazy. That's so dangerous. So nefarious. [00:15:00] And the fact that like had the internet essentially not intervened shoot had just been like, Oh, well, it's silly guy.

Regan: He's so silly.

Chesko: I get, I get nervous. I should have, maybe, maybe he did say something. Maybe I just didn't hear him about that. He was just trying to have a fun time. Almost unaliving me.

Regan: You know, this is a very, very non life threatening, uh, version of this. But I remember I got cast to be in a commercial.

Regan: They're like, Oh, we need athletic looking people, which. Bit of a stretch for me, but they cast me. I don't know. I don't know. And this is when I really, like I was thin, but I, I was not, um, working out. Like I wasn't training or anything. Cause like I trained, like I go through periods of training. I was not training that.

Regan: So I was not fit. Like, you know, I was not at all in the shape that, um, they were requiring. And [00:16:00] they didn't really tell us what we were doing. Do you know what, um, it wasn't tough mutter, but it was like that. Those races were like, it's like you train for like weeks and weeks and weeks. And you like,

Chesko: I know you're talking about though.

Chesko: So

Regan: that's something people train for. And, um, to do the commercial, they did not tell us what we were doing. Okay, so I show up and they're like, Hey, um, you're going to run this whole course while we film you. And I was like, excuse me, what? It's like ropes that we were like, had to climb all this shit. We had to run through all this stuff.

Regan: There's a point at which we had to go all the way into the mud. Like, literally, like, up to your neck, you had to pull yourself up over these mounds of mud, while being filmed, so, like, you can't be showing that you're being murdered, like, I, I can show that I was, like, dying inside, and it was like, I was not at all okay, like, I was not at all in the physical shape to be doing that, nor did [00:17:00] they tell us.

Regan: They absolutely did not say you're going to run the course. Like, I thought we were just going to do like talking. No. And like, it was so crazy and so intense and like, we did it backwards. So normally you wouldn't be getting like the muddiest part was at the end. So that you weren't covered, like, you know,

Chesko: your shoes and

Regan: stuff.

Regan: So my shoes were all muddy. I had to like hold a rope and like, like, uh, lean backwards and like climb down it. And my shoes were so muddy because again, backwards, then it slipped and I slammed into like full swing

Chesko: and it's

Regan: on tape. I was like, damn it. Like as soon as I fell, they came and checked on me and they're like, are you good?

Regan: I was like, yeah. Did you film that? And they're like, yeah, it's like, no, use that please. But it was just like,

Chesko: first shot of the commercial.

Regan: Yeah. And I like, you know, I guess it's just like the idea of like, when you're forced into like this crazy [00:18:00] physical thing that you have not prepped for, like, it's so I just imagine the stress she was under.

Chesko: I think it's also, uh, it is another thing we talked about earlier today on the pre show now. I promise I'm not trying to sell everybody on the Patreon right now, but I am kind of, um, but slightly, um, but the, the idea that people are like, not clear about things, even, even Wait, because just because they are personally comfortable with it or they don't see any issue with it and they just assume, Oh, everybody else must feel the exact same way about things like, like here, I'll give you the, the least extreme version of this.

Chesko: I don't like swimming. Right. I don't. And it's, it's a sensory. Sure. Sure. Oh, you've told me this. I told you, even when I was like a little boy, I just, I don't, I don't know what it is. It just makes me uncomfortable. I'll do it if I have to, like, it's fine. But like, uh, and so like, I got invited out to a thing before and everybody, I don't know if I just missed the thing where everyone, cause everyone had [00:19:00] swimsuits.

Chesko: Cause I think it might've been also part of me just not understanding it. They're like, they're like, Oh yeah, we're all going to go swimming. And I was like, I don't, I don't want to. Yeah. Yeah. And it was just like, I was like, I don't, How long is that going to be for? And they're like, a while. And I was like, okay, well, I don't have a swimsuit.

Chesko: And they're like, just. Whatever, just top it in your underwear. I don't, I'm going to, I'm going to go home.

Regan: I don't like this.

Chesko: It's kind of an awkward thing, but like, it's, there's just, there are certain experiences, even mundane things like that, where you just don't know, just be open and honest about things.

Chesko: Just say, this is what we're going to do today. I was talking to a friend of mine recently online about, uh, even like movie theater experiences, uh, right. He's like, he's autistic and the, and like, he doesn't enjoy the, the, I don't enjoy these either, but like the, the really crowded kind of opening nights of things, I can't enjoy the movie.

Chesko: Uh, because it's, it's just, it's too much of a sensory experience. And so, uh, but we just assume, Oh, I love that. That's the best experience. Why wouldn't everybody experience [00:20:00] that? Right. We never think about how, and that was, those, those are very, very minor compared to obviously something in this video, but just in general, I think people need to stop being so like, Uh, assuming everybody in the world is okay with something just because they're okay with it, right?

Chesko: Have, have a little bit of empathy or early thought process about like, just being clear about things.

Regan: Yeah. And I feel like making sure everybody's on board, like clarifying what it is that you're doing so everyone can actually consent and agree to the activity. And then I think in this case even taking it a step further, which is like actively lying.

Regan: Like, I don't, I don't think you'll be into the activity. So I'm gonna lie about what the activity, like I hate that shit. And there is like a lot of times that people do that. It that's like acceptable in quotations. Mm-Hmm. , like, you know, like, I'm surprising you with doing this thing that maybe you don't wanna do.

Regan: Like, oops, surprise, skydiving. You know, something like that. It's like, Mm-Hmm. [00:21:00] Ooh, no. Like, if I did that to my wife, like if I, well, she hates surprises at all.

Chesko: Right? Like,

Regan: any surprise, she'd be like, mm, I don't think so. Right. But the idea of like, surprising her with lying, like lying to her to surprise her, I, I cannot even imagine.

Chesko: I

Regan: feel like it's much more nefarious than we give it credit for. Like if somebody doesn't like something now, obviously like climbing a mountain is very obviously not right. Like if you're, if you said they're hiking, but like, even like, Oh, this is going to be like a small little get together. And then, you know, you bring a ton of people that happens to me all the time.

Regan: Like, I like, you know, maybe I want like a one on one hangout. And then all of a sudden like a ton of people are coming. Like that to me. vibe and energy, you know, like I, if, if I think we're doing a one on one hangout and all of a sudden there's 20 people, like I, my anxiety is going to be off. Off the charts, off the rails, like, no, [00:22:00] no, no.

Regan: I don't know why it feels so different. I think like one's more performative than the other. Uh, but like, I think just like respecting people's boundaries, people's tastes, people's sensitivities. Um, and I think like calling out, like, When people are pushing boundaries because I guarantee you this is not this dude's first rodeo at pushing a boundary with someone you don't go from like oh everything's cool and consensual to like

Chesko: right

Regan: i'm gonna lie to you and take you up a mountain that's

Chesko: also the big difference i want to be clear i was not and i know you you understand this but i'm not if i'm listening i'm not equating them not telling me they wanted to go swimming for the day to someone putting my life at risk, right?

Chesko: There's a very big difference from there. It was just, the idea is that we should just be more honest about these sorts of things because they're in this instance, I think what makes this so much worse though, is that there is very clearly, I don't know, nefarious is the right word intent, but there's,

Regan: Oh, I, I [00:23:00] think that's the right word.

Chesko: There's something under the surface there that's not simply this goofy or like, or like an accident. Right. It's not like you accidentally forgot to tell someone you're doing a, uh, major mountain climbing expedition so that you can jump off where you've been before. Right. And also at that point, you just, you'd notice if you're, I don't know if you, if they, if the two of them in this video had met there or if they went together, like, you know, When you're going somewhere with somebody, you

Regan: would have known she didn't have the right clothes on immediately because he lied to her about what they're doing.

Regan: So he would have known immediately. She didn't have the right gear. He would have known a 1 carabiner. Are you that's literally the little clip. And like I said, there's a point where she had to unclip and clip again. That

Chesko: is

Regan: so scary. And

Chesko: like,

Regan: He would have known at every single part of that that she was not prepared physically, that she didn't have the right equipment, that she was probably not in the right headspace.

Regan: The thing that bothers me is he puts her in a position where even if he's getting [00:24:00] consent, it's probably not something she would consent to if she was in the right state of mind.

Chesko: Like

Regan: he's pushing her along, you know, under the guise of like, come on, like you're not prepared, like making her feel bad as if her she needs to prove to him that she can do it.

Regan: And to me that is so gross and so manipulative so that she doesn't even have a second to think like, Ooh, maybe I shouldn't do this. And the fact that she's probably trusting him that, okay, he's not going to take me on something that's dangerous. Even as they're moving along, one can assume she doesn't think he's going to risk her life.

Regan: And yet like, If you look at the footage and you look at her, like what she had, like she absolutely was at risk. And that's the part that's so scary is it's like, it could almost be perceived as like, Oh, she's consenting, but there's so much that's going on. That is, is. socially pressuring her to keep going with him when, [00:25:00] you know, had she not had all these other pressures, like she probably wouldn't have agreed to go if she knew what the hike was.

Regan: She didn't know the hike. She didn't know how scary it was. And then she's already in, you know, she's so far along by the time, she's probably realizing, Oh my God, this is really scary. And he's making fun of her and he's pressuring her and she feels stupid, you know? And so she keeps going and then he leaves her.

Regan: It's like, There's so many things, like I, I think acknowledging like

Regan: seemingly consenting to a situation when in actuality they're not happy and they don't want to and they're scared. I think this is a good example of like how someone is able to do that and be manipulative. So maybe at the end someone would be like, oh, I guess that was, you know, that was just a silly funny thing.

Regan: It's the manipulation all the way through that allows for her to feel that way at the end.

Chesko: And it's the, it goes back to, you know, this discussion of consent too. Um, even though she's [00:26:00] technically on the surface consenting to keep going and to do this, this hike right there. Uh, that's, that's all part of the, the strategy, right?

Chesko: To make sure it's like, Oh, well, well, well, she, she, she, she could have always said no. She could have always got back.

Regan: She could have turned around with one carabiner and done the hike herself. That's the other thing is like, The hike up she had him like right next to her like assisting then he jumped So she could either wait there and pray he comes back Or do it herself with no assistance.

Regan: Oh, that's a part that I'm like, Oh my God. The

Chesko: idea that he just left her there too, for God knows how long.

Regan: He had to have landed and then hiked all the way back.

Chesko: The only thing worse to me would be if he pulled out another suit for her. You're next. You're jumping. You're next. You're going to do this too.

Regan: I mean, yeah, it's, it's just. So crazy and so scary and like, it reminds me of like, [00:27:00] I feel like, like dads or uncles used to do that stuff where they joke about that, like, I'm going to go for a swim. If I don't come back, you're going to have to steer the boat or like, like, do you know what I'm talking about?

Regan: Like the, like those little fear things that they're trying to scare you. Um, I knew somebody whose dad literally would go underwater and just hold his breath for a long time. Like that shit. You know what I mean? I feel like it's that, except just the, like the boss level of that. Right. Where it's like,

Chesko: I could share some trauma right there.

Regan: Forgot you've got good stories.

Chesko: And I think sometimes they it's because they went through a certain trauma. Sure. They think that that's acceptable to, I'll give a lesser, like, this is a. Mess up story, but it's not like a bad, like, it's not one that I think I have to give a content warning or anything, but like, I was, I was really scared of aliens when I was little, I think it was like the movies came out and all those like other kinds of things that I was.

Chesko: I was certain I was going to be abducted by [00:28:00] aliens. And one night I was with my dad and there was like a satellite or something that he noticed in the sky. He was like, you see that one? Well, I was like, that's a star. He's like, no, look at it. And it was moving. Cause I didn't know I'm like 10 years old at this point.

Chesko: I'm like, I don't know enough about, he was like, he was like, yeah, it's an alien. I was like. Well, he was like, don't worry. They took me when I was little. I was fine. So when they come for you, you're going to be fine too. Do you have no idea how for the rest of my, my, up until I was like too old to be scared of it, where if a, if a car drove by our apartment and the lights were blue, I was like, this is it?

Chesko: This is the moment. I knew he was full of shit, right? I was, even when I was, like I said, at that point I was old enough to, like, as the years went on to know that that was full of shit. But man, that triggered something instinctual in me. But it was fun for them. Like, there's, there's something about, there's, there's a certain type of guy where they think they're being comforting, but it's also kind of funny them to see how much it feels like.

Chesko: Freaks people out. And it's, I hate that. That's a thing.

Regan: I think if you really dug deep, there's something [00:29:00] going on there. I don't know exactly what's going on there, but I do think there's something, even if it's like, Oh, my dad did that. I just think it's a very interesting, like urge, you know? I

Chesko: don't get it.

Chesko: Any therapists that listen, want to chime in and what is happening?

Regan: What is that? Why, why do you, I mean, I, I'm sure there are moms that do it. I've, I just have noticed it more with. Men, but yeah, and and again, I think this is just that to an extreme but actually risking her life Like there actually is a threat going on.

Regan: It's not an imaginary threat. It's a hundred percent a real threat

Chesko: Um,

Regan: yeah, that's it's crazy And yeah, this guy's still just like posting his little shitty videos of him jumping off cliffs and stuff now he's on private but um, luckily his this girl this woman now seems to understand like Oh, you know what?

Chesko: I

Regan: don't want to be his friend anymore. I think I'm good. Yeah. Oh God. Okay. Chesca, do you have one?

Chesko: Well, I had, I have, uh, arguably my most, my most, not arguably, I don't know [00:30:00] why that's not like an opinion based thing. My most viral video of the year has just occurred. And it's a critique of, uh, or a response to a hello kitty video.

Chesko: Uh, that's coming out. This is, uh, we're going all over the place to go.

Regan: Okay.

Chesko: Uh, yeah. And so have you, have you seen the video that,

Regan: uh, I've tell me it.

Chesko: All right. So the argument is that Hello Kitty is not, I, and I've done some research on this post video, so I know a little extra now, but the, the, this woman is like an official represent representative of Sanrio is I hate Sanrio.

Chesko: I don't know what the correct pronunciation of the Hello Kitty company is. Oh, I don't know. But she, she was saying that Hello Kitty. Is, is not a cat, but Hello Kitty is a little girl. And there were people arguing with me in the comments saying, yeah, she's right. She is a little, cause I was, I was, she has cat ears and whiskers.

Regan: I had heard it was a, uh, someone in a suit.

Chesko: So, so apparently, and once again, this is all gathered from my research. I should be very clear. I hate that I use that term because it's not real [00:31:00] research. It's me reading other comments from people that have claimed to do research. So, uh, don't fact check me or please fact check me, I guess.

Chesko: The original creator said she's an anthropomorphic little girl. So she's supposed to be kind of like a, a cat girl. Uh, so she is a little girl cat. It's not that she's a little girl. It's kind of like that. She's goofy. You know, like, you know, goofy from Disney.

Regan: Right. But Goofy's still a dog though.

Chesko: But he is not a dog.

Chesko: But he is also because they, because the dogs are Pluto. Like Pluto's a dog. Oh, goofy. Is, is a, oh, I hate

Regan: this

Chesko: like a dog man. Right. And so she's like a cat. This is

Regan: horrifying in if you put it into real life, like if there were dogs and then dog, men walking, no. Mm-Hmm.

Chesko: And apparently she's also, they measure her in apples, which throws me off.

Regan: How many apples is she.

Chesko: She is five apples tall and three apples in weight, which feels like in proportion. Why would

Regan: they [00:32:00] measure her in apples?

Chesko: I don't, it doesn't make any sense. Cause I was confused by that too. There was some anger from people that apparently, uh, Smurfs are three apples tall. So

Regan: ain't no way they're the same height.

Regan: And why are we measuring in apples? I can't get over the apples thing. Who came up with apples?

Chesko: I mean, it's cute, I guess. It's, it's fun to say. How many apples tall are you? I'm 72 apples tall.

Regan: I'm 72 apples! If, I feel like, you'd be like, what? If I asked how tall someone was, they're like, 72 apples. 72

Chesko: apples.

Chesko: I would have so

Regan: many questions about that. Listen, God, Chesco, you're so tall, you would be 105 apples.

Chesko: 105, I'm 105 apples old. What, now we're using for age?

Regan: Stop measuring in apples, it doesn't make sense! Because now it's a height and weight, because they're saying she weighs, so it's a measurement for both?

Chesko: And if you are five apples tall and only [00:33:00] weigh three apples, I feel like proportionately that's unrealistic apple standards.

Regan: Women never get a break. Anthropomorphic cats never give a break.

Chesko: The average woman is four apples and they're making her at three apples.

Regan: Well, unrealistic beauty standards yet again.

Regan: Like, I just don't. Why? Why would they not just make her like a cat? Like, why? What's the isn't there? In your video, isn't there like a family of cats? So they're all

Chesko: it's a frogs. There's all sorts of things, but apparently somebody said apparently though Her boyfriend is a cat. There was another video that I saw that said no.

Chesko: No, she's not But her boyfriend is. How does that make it better?

Regan: Yeah, that's, isn't that bestiality? It's, this is dark.

Chesko: It got viral and I think overall between my channels it had like 25 million views. And when it gets that big, it gets the wrong parts of the [00:34:00] internet.

Regan: Oh, all parts, I'm sure.

Chesko: Yeah, and I got a bunch of people thinking that I was making like an analogy for trans people.

Chesko: Uh, like not accepting it. Her identity. They're like, Oh, she identifies the little girl. And I was like, I've blocked so many people. And obviously I'm in on the job. I'm laughing during the video. Most people that watched it understood. It's just a funny video. It's meant to be a jokey video, but these horrible fricking people that, uh, they hate filled people are like, yes, he's speaking our truth right here.

Chesko: She's a cat. She can't be a little girl. I'm like, I hate you all. Like, I don't hate you.

Regan: Stop reading into it. You're making up intent.

Chesko: I almost took the video down, like I was like, cause I was like so annoyed, obviously that's such a small percentage of people that were doing that. And so many people were like enjoying the video that I don't want to like delete it because of the bad people, but I'm still like, why do they have to ruin everything good in this world?

Chesko: Why can't they just be [00:35:00] normal?

Regan: So it was like anti trans people thinking you think like them.

Chesko: Well, they were, no, they were like making transphobic jokes in the comment section more so. Like, oh, this is a perfect chance to see, like, cause I, if I'm not accepting that this cat is a little girl, then why should I have to accept that someone who was born one gender should be able to be another?

Regan: Take your bigotry aside. We have a serious problem of an anthro Anthropomorphic cat

Chesko: who is laying in

Regan: bed with a real cat and is measured in apples.

Chesko: Apple dysmorphia. We have to do

Regan: something here. I just don't, like, what does it help them to not just be like, she's a cat? Like why does she have to be this weird little girl cat?

Regan: Like what does that even mean? Like why? How do they say that with a straight face? Like that's so confusing to me.

Chesko: It always, it wears me out anytime, any sort of these universes [00:36:00] that have like people, people, animals have animals that are not anthropomorphized, right? That, that part is special. She has a pet cat.

Chesko: Apparently. So that's why she can't be a cat because she has a pet cat. What is, what happened? What, what in there is that like apes and humans?

Regan: I've always wondered with Pluto and Goofy. I'm like, why is Pluto a dog? And why does Goofy get to live a life? Like what happened to Pluto?

Chesko: I do wonder if, uh, if neurotypical people spend as much time trying to define, like, understand the science of Absolutely not.

Regan: Absolutely not. That is what we think about at night. This is

Chesko: what we do.

Regan: Yeah, we're like, I feel bad for Pluto. Why does he not have the same rights?

Chesko: Yeah, where, where is his right? Why is he just like, he eats from a bowl on the ground?

Regan: Imagine being walked around on a leash and looking up at another dog who's living the life of your dreams.

Regan: Like, why you and not me?

Chesko: And why is he naked if he's from [00:37:00] the, well he's not wearing any clothes, but goofy has pants and a shirt on and a hat.

Regan: It's like, uh, Donald Duck who wears a shirt and no pants. You're like, sir,

Chesko: there is no continuity in the universe of Disney, especially, or there is, and they, they're just freaks.

Chesko: And you don't want us knowing about it. Maybe Pluto's in on this whole thing.

Regan: They're really freaky.

Chesko: Oh, that went down a path. That went down a

Regan: dark path. Oh, I can't, I can't continue that. That

Chesko: I do. I do think it's interesting though, because there was a discussion in the, this, uh, Facebook group, mom, I'm in for meta where they said, what did it feel like the first time you went viral and it's almost universally negative, right?

Chesko: Everyone's always talking about how bad going viral makes you is for your mental health. Because, because as it, yeah, because as it spreads, I think I've gotten desensitized to it a lot. So now when a video goes, like. Really viral. And it gets to the negative parts where it, where it gets to me. [00:38:00] Um, but like, I think it's just when your videos are just getting under a couple thousand views here and there, it's great.

Chesko: Cause it's just reaching people that agree with you and it's wonderful, but then it casts too big of a net. Then all the hate filled aspects of the internet jump in. You could such a good taste of how bad people can be and why they feel the need to, to say it. And they also will, especially if your face is in the video, they find ways to make you feel bad that you hadn't quite.

Chesko: Figure it out, even for those of us that hate ourselves.

Regan: Oh, that's a new one.

Chesko: Yeah, they're all like, oh, I hadn't thought of that way to hit myself yet. Thank you for giving me that thing I'm going to think about for the rest of my life. Oh, you think my beard looks like a Batman symbol? Have you heard the ads that I got for it?

Chesko: And that one wasn't even meant to be mean. But I'll be thinking of it. My lips look like a Batman symbol when I have my mouth is closed, apparently.

Regan: Oh, great. Just another thing to fixate on. You know what? Can I tell you, do we have time for me to tell you one more story?

Chesko: I would love to hear it.

Regan: Okay. So I just got into this.

Regan: [00:39:00] epic Stupid battle with this guy online. So like normally I don't even interact like I It's like I know that they just want me to engage with them. I know that they're just trying to start some shit They don't have any intention of like reaching and understanding or like learning from each other.

Regan: They're just starting shit So I posted a video about a horrible take where this guy talking about the man first bear Okay, where he gets on there and he's like look I want to see it. Let's do it for real. Like I want to see it. It was so he was like Homelander vibes

Chesko: Can I say what I hate about it is that I, if it's the same video, I think it is, I, uh, followed that guy before.

Chesko: Yeah. I lo I love a, a lot of people did because that is the same guy. I thought he was great that, and I'm like, and I was waiting for them, like a follow up video and I'll, I don't wanna cut you off, I don't want, but I was waiting for there to be a follow up where he at least took some accountability for it.

Chesko: Yeah. Or like, or I found out, ah, I would, this was actually at. Some bad social experiment [00:40:00] or something that got out of hand. Anyways, but go on. Yeah, this, this one was very disappointing. So

Regan: it was really bad. He, he said like, Oh, I don't want, you know, not like with an actual bear, but let's just tell somebody they have to be in an office building with a man or either a bear or Steve, the barista.

Regan: And. The bear actually has to be there though, because they have to see the bear. It's a really bad take. You can go on the F the Nice Guy page. From when you hear this, it'll be one of the top videos. So in it, you know, I talked about the fact like, Oh, you want to see women scared? That's the point! Women are in a state of fear all the time.

Regan: Like, that's what I said in there. So,

Chesko: this

Regan: guy comments, and he goes, Right. Women are cowards.

Regan: And normally I don't engage, but that one really got me.

Chesko: So

Regan: I said back, I have this written down cause I want to do a video on it. Cause it was so absurd. Uh, and I said, excuse me, cause I'm kind of hoping like, [00:41:00] let me just give you a second. You want to rephrase that? Like, what are you saying here, buddy?

Regan: And he said, you said you walk around scared all the time. Mike, that's not exactly what I said. I was talking about the fact that women are like in a state of fear because they're hypervigilant, which again, I don't know how hypervigilance and being a coward.

Chesko: Right.

Regan: But I digress. So I said, if you got assaulted and harassed multiple times, you probably would too.

Chesko: Right? Can I give an analogy that way? This happened exactly during COVID. I don't want to know about how deep we get into that, but like people, Oh, you coward. Yeah. I was scared during COVID. People were dying everywhere. There would be people that would like come in and be like, Oh, well you can't live your life in fear.

Chesko: Sometimes Fear is not bad, right? Sometimes there's a justifiable fear to have. Right. It doesn't make you a coward.

Regan: Just because you have a healthy fear, because [00:42:00] it's necessary. Like, fear is essential.

Chesko: Right.

Regan: Because if you have reason to be afraid, the fear in your body, like, that triggers you to be hyper aware, right?

Regan: And to say that you're a coward because you have a reasonable fear. Like, if a lion comes at me,

Chesko: And

Regan: I'm afraid like you're like, Oh, coward. Like, uh, no, uh, sorry. Anyways,

Chesko: how many lions have ever attacked you before today?

Regan: I'd like to hear the lion side of this. Um, so then he says, I got assaulted two months ago, had someone come up and threaten me with an ax, which okay.

Regan: Drama dump. Got it. Had someone lie and say, I attacked them despite witnesses. Should I keep going? Like mic drop. So I'm talking about like this, but

Chesko: I was like, yeah, tell me more.

Regan: I want to know more about this ax. Why was it having you can know, cause then you're in hell and you die. If you go to their point, like you're gonna, you're gonna be drowning, but it was just like, okay, so you're equating you [00:43:00] getting.

Regan: Attacked with an axe,

Chesko: which

Regan: I mean, yeah, many questions for that. To like, like women as a whole every day facing harassment and assault. Like, so those are equal to you. Got it. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Should I keep going? Like there's, you can just.

Regan: And I'm like, okay, so then I say, do you think all women are cowards? Because I want him to say it again. Like, I want you to be clear if that's what you think. Right. And he says. His, his retort, right? Do you think all men try to hurt women? Uh, what the fuck are you talking about? You came on and said women are cowards.

Regan: I ask you to clarify that statement and you want me to answer do all men try to hurt women?

Chesko: You know, it's gonna come, you had to say not all men. I know, that's where we're at. You

Regan: had to. I just want everyone to understand what it's like talking to these men on the [00:44:00] internet.

Chesko: Okay.

Regan: So I say, you came onto my page, you saw a video of a man being absolutely foul towards women, and you chose to call women cowards.

Regan: So, do you think that? Here's his response, because he's in control, Chesco. I need you to get the, from his perspective, he's, Answer my question. You've given me no evidence you can be trusted. What? Like, what are you talking about?

Chesko: Yeah.

Regan: What? Like, You're on my page. Like, what do you mean? I don't know if I can trust you or not.

Regan: I don't give a shit. You came on my page. Like you said it. That's

Chesko: exactly it. The self importance of them. Like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now we're on my terms here. Right. Yeah.

Regan: I said, you came onto my page and said, right. All womens are cow are all ro huuuuh You came onto my page and said, right, all women are cowards.

Regan: Shut up, Chesco. Uh, do you think that's true? And then I said, be brave, tell me. And then he said, I noticed you didn't answer my question. I [00:45:00] see your reaction to him. Then you ask me if I think women are cowards. You're the one saying women live in a state of fear. All women? What are you talking about?

Chesko: Hashtag not all women

Regan: hashtag all women question mark

Chesko: all women

Regan: So so then here's where it gets interesting If it wasn't already a friend of mine jumps in And she handles men on the internet with the same a lot more patience, okay? She's much more gentle. So she jumps in and she says, not all men, but a lot of them.

Regan: No woman is a coward for living in fear because of constant harassment and multiple attacks. I'm sorry for what you went through and I'm glad you're okay. The difference is we legit deal with harassment multiple times a day and being attacked every time we go out and fear of being attacked every time we go out.

Regan: Okay, so he likes her much more than he likes me. Shocker! And he completely [00:46:00] treats her differently than he's been treating me. And he literally says, For you, I will say not all women. But women live in fear so badly that they attack for no reason. Fight, flight, or flee. Don't know why that's in there. And then he says, the OP is a bully, hence a coward.

Regan: So now, because she's nice, he's like, okay, so because you're nice, not all women. I'll, I will, I will say not all women because one woman is being nice to me. And, uh, now we've gone into women attack for no reason.

Chesko: What

Regan: does that make you think about him? If he's thinking women attack for no reason, do you think maybe he's done some things?

Regan: Yeah.

Chesko: Oh, sorry. That's sorry. I didn't say it. Cause I was like, that's, that's the clear conclusion for that is that he believes that he's never done anything wrong, right? That everything he's done in this situation to the women in his life that have ended up attacking [00:47:00] him. Uh, it was all, it was literally out of nowhere.

Chesko: And that's that, I've heard that argument. So many times in my own comment sections were like, Oh, well, women just, they just, they just lose it over nothing or ready to do anything. Or they get so mad over. And I was like, I don't know. I've talked to you for about a minute now and I could, I could totally get it.

Chesko: I get it. I'm holding back. Yeah.

Regan: I want to fight you. Okay. So then I said, who did I bully? Cause I'm What are you talking about? And he said, probably everyone, but I have yet to see you outside your facade. . What the, what are you talking? Uhhuh? . Like you're accusing me of bull being a bully. Okay. And then I say, well, who, who do I bully?

Regan: And you say, probably everyone, but I just haven't seen any signs of it.

Chesko: Turns out that's my burner account. I'm just really upset at you. And I'm trying to like, stop bullying your

Regan: co host. You know what? He had some examples. He just didn't pull them. So then he decides [00:48:00] he's not talking to me. So he starts directly messaging my friend on underneath.

Regan: And then he says this. So I just want you to realize how impossible these men are. So he says, so I just consulted my girlfriend. She agreed that according to the common belief, I was S. A. 'd Thursday. So yeah, only difference, I can't complain.

Chesko: What?

Regan: What? What? Because this axe incident I think was, he said was months ago, right?

Regan: Two months ago. So now he's saying, I consulted with my girlfriend, so he had to talk to someone about it, and they agreed, That according to the common belief, he was S. A. I.

Chesko: D. I am so confused right now. I

Regan: am also confused. So I'm like And this is the first mention of it, by the way. This is the first mention of this.

Regan: Because I care about S. A. I jump back in after wanting to be done, and I say, I don't know where you got confused. We support all victims on this page, regardless of gender, [00:49:00] and certainly don't think you shouldn't complain. And then he hits back, No, you don't. Actions speak louder than words. And then, way later, he comes back and says, Additionally, I am not a victim.

Regan: What do you want from me? I literally tell you, like, I support you. I'm not a victim. How dare you?

Chesko: Don't you dare.

Regan: How dare you call me a victim?

Chesko: Oh my god. You

Regan: said you were one. That's the term. Like, what Like what you can't want, like the sympathy and empathy for this thing that you now are saying, like, I was like, well, how I can't win with

Chesko: you.

Chesko: Does he even know what essay means? I

Regan: guess. No, I don't know.

Chesko: I had somebody, um, it's actually not just something that's happened multiple times where, where guys will come on my page and accuse me of like, you, you, you do know men can get assaulted as well, right? You do know, blah, blah. And I'd like. I was like, Hey, you should listen [00:50:00] to, I throw them back to like the podcast where I talked about my own assault.

Chesko: And, uh, a couple of times I'll come back and it's like, their tone entirely changes. They're like, well, why are you making these videos then? If you also know that men can get, I was like, because this stuff harms all of us. Do you not understand that this is all a result of the same system? So I'm trying to explain to you.

Chesko: And it's been multiple times where all of a sudden now. Once they find out, apparently, that I have had that happen to me, then all of a sudden now, there's literally multiple times it starts clicking. They needed to find out that I do care about men, even though I'm very explicit that I do care about men and women.

Regan: That's so warped though.

Chesko: It's such a weird thing

Regan: So you have to have had it happen to you for

Chesko: them to believe that I care about it, right? Because I said that I cared about it before But they didn't believe me because i'm saying the misogyny is bad. I'm saying that you know, toxic masculinity is bad So [00:51:00] clearly I hate all men and it couldn't possibly be Truthful when I say that I care about the fact that these things harm men as well

Regan: well It's just so crazy like even in this in this instance like because my friend was nice to him and told him I'm sorry what you went through which like I didn't feel the need to say that because he was Like totally going off topic like he was throwing that out there and it didn't make any sense Like okay, the fact that you were assaulted and you were threatened with an axe Which, was he assaulted or was he threatened with an axe?

Regan: I don't know. That you're equating that to the constant fear of women being assaulted. Like, those aren't the same, and I'm not going to go off on a tangent about that when they're not equal, right? But the fact that she was nice, then he was like, okay, because you're nice to me, I'll say not all women live in fear.

Regan: So in order to be reasonable, I have to cater to you. I have to be nice to you, even though you've come on my page and literally the first [00:52:00] thing you said was right. Women are cowards. That's what it takes for you to show me, like, that's the shit that pisses me off. I'm getting fired up at the end of the podcast.

Regan: Um, pretty much every time probably. Uh, when, um, men will be like, oh, you want equality? I guess I won't defend you. Oh, you, you want, you want equality? I won't pay for your meals. Like, oh, I won't be your protector. Like, good luck with the bear. Like, It's this idea of like, unless you please and appease me, I will not give you this, the simplest of human dignities.

Regan: Like, you have to please me to get these things. And that's so insane to me. Like, do you not see how wild that is? And then like, this man is saying he wants my, I don't know what, I mean, he definitely wanted my attention. He wanted me to be nicer maybe, um, because he reacted better to the nicer. It's like, okay, so when I was nicer to you, you still attacked me.

Regan: And you were like, I'm not a victim. And actions speak louder than words. [00:53:00] I'm like, What is my action? What is the action? Like you've just told me.

Chesko: He's decided your action is based on. Yeah,

Regan: just like he decided. I'm a bully. Despite not having any evidence that I am one like what the and like, by the way, this dude is a teacher at a martial arts studio.

Chesko: Mm hmm,

Regan: which great there's a video of a little girl being like I don't want to do it and walking out of frame and him coming Back holding her by her ankles as a skit

Chesko: Mm hmm.

Regan: So that's that's a good time. I'm glad this is the guy who's saying women are cowards I'm glad he's the one teaching self defense who says the guy who says women attack too easily.

Regan: He's the one teaching self defense.

Chesko: Mm hmm Yeah I've started now, like, because I do probably spend too much time attempting to engage with people. Um, but I, but I'll, I'll usually now my, the most I'll go literally is one comment where I'll, I'll actually honestly engage with them. And the [00:54:00] second they come back with something completely, very clearly, they have no interest in actually having a honest discourse about it.

Chesko: I'm done. Um, there's actually here, I'll get another last quick example, but there was a video response I made recently where, uh, the guy posted my, uh, response to his story and pulled and, and like basically summed up what I said by saying nothing that I said. Uh, and it was, and it was so bad to the point where I, I DM them and I was like, Hey, are you like, are you doing a bit like, is this like, right.

Chesko: Okay. Are you like doing a social experiment? And I was like, I was like, I don't, I don't want to waste my, like, I, I, I was so because it was so outlandishly misinterpreted. I was like, is this like your thing? Like you can, I'm not going to, you don't have to respond. I'm not going to

Regan: mess with you. I'm not going to keep on doing.

Regan: Yeah.

Chesko: Yeah. And then he like goes off on me. But in a weird way where he was like, you know, if you want to, uh, to, to do, I wanna do this publicly so that people can [00:55:00] see my page and see my point of view. I was like, oh, you're, you're baiting me. You wanted me to. Mm-Hmm. Because I reposted his, his story with some like, like, is this real on my story?

Chesko: I was like, yeah, damn it. I fell for it. Yeah. I gave him, I gave him the views and then I, I, I responded to him again and he go, he like, went off on me, like kind of semi threatening me. Oh God. Yeah. Yeah. Where I was like, all right. Blocked. I was like, I did, I, I, yeah. Made a mistake. I went too far. I shouldn't have done that.

Chesko: blocked. I should not have engaged earlier. I thought you might've

Regan: been a human. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah.

Chesko: I, I made the mistake of assuming like, Hey, I, I just wanna check in. Are you like, is this, are you, like, are you, nor are what's going on here? Yeah. Oh no, you're just, you're as bad as you are in the, okay. Okay.

Chesko: You really meant what you said.

Regan: Yeah. Woo.

Chesko: Alright.

Regan: Uh, yeah. Again, this is permission from this podcast to not engage with assholes like I used. Really try and like like that dude there was nothing I could have said to that dude point blank other than like you're right I'm wrong [00:56:00] men are superior women Shouldn't be afraid ever and they're cowards if they're afraid.

Regan: I don't know what it would have taken for him to to Back off, but it is this like he had to your point that sense of entitlement and importance That I had to prove myself to him when he's coming on my page It's like people who are like that like they want to be right And i've said this before if they can't get your validation, they'll go for your pain So if they if they can't get you to agree with them, they will start attacking you like this guy did he's like You're a bully Like, what?

Regan: But, you're never going to get anywhere with them, and like, their only intention is to, to upset you, and derail you, and you don't have to spend time with that, like, you don't owe anybody anything. And that says, especially when it's for, like, for no reason, or they're clearly in the wrong. Now, if someone points out something you're doing, that's wrong.

Regan: Wrong. And you need to really reflect on that. That's different. But these are people who just want to mess with you. Uh, because they want to feel important, I think, for a minute or two. And you don't [00:57:00] have to give them that. That was like the biggest lesson I learned. And it can be in real life, too. Like, sometimes people want to agitate you.

Regan: You don't have to give them time or space or attention. Like, if somebody's creeping on you, like, You don't have to be nice and you don't have to give the validation, you know, it's like Knowing your power in situations. I think is really important because I wasted way too much energy on people like that my whole life I

Chesko: think trust your gut too like when you feel like because there are times people will say something to me and i'll be like And you can feel when it feels like a genuine critique.

Chesko: I'm like, oh That's valid. But if it feels like completely off base and completely absurd, it probably is. And I think we, we try to rationalize it too much. We're like, because we think, and you and I both talked about, we do this a lot where we think. Too optimistically about people are like too much. Like, oh, they couldn't, they couldn't actually be that terrible.

Chesko: Maybe we can find, no, there's no common ground if they're, if they're immediately jumping to that and I'm finally, after [00:58:00] years of doing this, getting to the point where I just accept, I'm like, okay, no, you don't have any, You don't have interest in, in communicating. You don't have interest in learning or growing or changing.

Regan: Yeah, I think I think critique is good. I think it's important for everybody. Like, if you get to the point where you can't take critique, like, there's a problem and I think we see that in all spheres. Anytime someone gets. To a to a high point where like people are honest with them and then they get a big head and then they won't listen To feedback like that's a big problem.

Regan: Um, but again, these are people who who literally like I just want to upset you I just want to have power over you That's how it always feels to me like when it's men that do it more often than seemingly men I find out that they're men by going to their profile But like they never show their faces which I think is so ironic because it's like oh you want to come at me You And then like, you, you do not have the confidence to like, even say who you are.

Regan: Like, if you would like to, like, be out and about if you are, you know. If you have these really [00:59:00] scary negative viewpoints, um, but yeah, it's, it's a lot of times men and they really, they really want to get at me. They really want like, like they want to force a conversation with me. They want to force me to give them my time.

Regan: They think I need to prove something to them or like, it's this weird idea of like, I should have power over you. Like you're disagreeing with me. I don't like that. And, um, you know, they don't, you don't have power. You don't have power over me and like I can choose not to engage with you when you're you know in Bad faith having bad faith discussions with me And um, they don't like that, but I recommend people to start like holding boundaries with people Again, this is coming from me who used to have conversations all the time Like I used to think you can break through to somebody like they must misunderstand you Like maybe you can make them see and you finally realize like They have no intention of changing their viewpoint.

Chesko: That's

Regan: not on the table. It really is not. Like, all they want to do is crack you in some way. And, uh, it's okay to not, yeah, it's okay to not engage with that.

Chesko: My wife and I had, we [01:00:00] had a, uh, conversation literally two nights ago. I, I was like, It was, I was feverishly typing something on my phone because it was a joke that I didn't want to forget.

Chesko: It was a thread that I was, I was making, but she was like, Oh no, are you arguing with somebody online? Uh, and I was like, Oh no. She was like, okay, good. Cause you haven't been doing that in a while. Cause I, I did, I spent so much of my energy, like trying to, to get through and like, why, why aren't you understanding what I'm saying?

Chesko: Why are you like this? She got worried. She was like, Oh no. Are you doing that again? You're back on it again. You're back Oh, no. And I showed it was, I don't remember. It was some dumb joke. It was literally, it was just the dumb thread I was posting about. Yeah.

Regan: I guess if you sum all these up, it's like, aside from the Hello Kitty, that just was bizarre.

Regan: Uh, but like, like, like instinctually like going with, um, what, what you know, to be true, it's like when people [01:01:00] are. Being shitty online like if your instinct is they're being shitty they they probably are like if you feel like that came out of nowhere it probably did and like this cliff guy like This guy was manipulating her and like it's okay to be like no

Chesko: Yeah,

Regan: you don't owe anybody anything in that sense.

Regan: Like if you don't feel safe, it's okay to be To have a strong boundary and if someone does something that's off like holding them accountable for the way that it makes you feel or At least questioning it like even just like dude, like why would you lie to me? Why would you tell me we were going on a hike if you were gonna take me mountain climbing like these little things?

Regan: I think instead of living in the gray like really getting solid answers. I'm like, what the hell is this thing? Is it a cat?

Chesko: Is

Regan: it is it a girl? Is it a is it a hybrid? Is it? Is it a mutant from the lab? Like, why is the whole family this way? How does it have a cat? These are questions we need answers to before moving forward.

Regan: And that's that. And I

Chesko: think that's, that's, that's a great way to end the show.

Regan: Yep. [01:02:00] All right. Thank you everybody who's listening. As we've mentioned several times, we have a pre show on the Patreon. It's a lot of unhinged stuff. A lot of drama dumping. But it's a good time. I think

Chesko: we have fun. We're laughing during it.

Chesko: That means it's okay. This

Regan: I cry laugh once every single time. So, you know, something's interesting and uh, Chesco. What are our socials?

Chesko: We are on YouTube at Mr. Pick. Me and The Man Hater. And Instagram as well.

Regan: Instagram as well. Um, Instagram as well. Instagram as well. Also, we, next week we'll be picking a winner.

Chesko: Oh my God. I feel like we need to do two. I I'll pay for outta my own money. We're, we're gonna pick

Regan: two winners.

Chesko: We're gonna pick two. I'm gonna pay for none of my own money 'cause I keep forgetting.

Regan: We're picking two, so we're upping your chances. Of winning, uh, and that is for leaving a five star review.

Regan: Remember if you left one on like Spotify, please [01:03:00] email us at mrpickmeandthemanhateratgmail. com. Because we cannot see who said what we can only see the review. So if you want to be in this raffle, raffle drawing giveaway,

Chesko: a theoretical giveaway, I don't know if we break some law at some point, we're promising something and not delivering, we're going

Regan: to deliver.

Regan: Next week we're gonna pick two names.

Chesko: Two names.

Regan: All right friends, we will see you next week. Jessica.

Chesko: I love you all

Regan: so much. Oh my god, so sweet. Despite

Chesko: my actions of forgetting about giving you gifts, showing otherwise.

Regan: Oh my god, just like that guy said, your actions say otherwise.

Chesko: Bye!

Regan: Bye!