(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)

[Speaker 3]
Welcome to Black Healing Remix, the podcast. I'm Natalie Patterson, Director of Training and Programs at BEAM, and one half of the hosting dynamic duo. My co-host is none other than the YOLO Akili Robinson, the Founder and Executive Director of BEAM, the Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective.

This season features a collection of powerful conversations YOLO and I held, both individually and collectively throughout the year with healers, advocates, artists, therapists, and activists. In this episode, we had the privilege of speaking with the incredible Ms. Tabitha Brown, an actress, renowned vegan lifestyle influencer, and author. She opened up about her journey to success and how she stayed grounded as she's built an empire.

Tabitha shared how she maintains balance, not only as a wife and mother, but as a business owner. She reflected on the challenges of societal expectations and how she found freedom in embracing her Southern accent and heritage. The conversation was a powerful reminder of the importance of authenticity, rejecting whack social norms, and living true to who you are.

It is my pleasure to share this life-affirming episode with you now. Please enjoy.

[Speaker 2]
We're so excited and honored to have you on the stage with us, Tab. Thank you for having me. I mean, I can't say enough.

And I think that, like, it's really important for me. When I think about Black women's labor, I think about what you have held for our folks, what you held for us during the pandemic, what you held for us every single day with your messages and what you shine through. Like, I just want to take a moment to acknowledge that, like, you know, we're going to call you America's favorite auntie, right?

That's not a game. That's a task in work, right? Can we name that?

That is holding space for us. And so it's just a thrill to be able to be present with you. But I also want to make sure that you know that, like, there are so many, I know so many of us in here that were pushed through difficult moments by a reel that you posted, right?

[Speaker 4]
Oh.

[Speaker 2]
That were encouraged to think about our relationship to our bodies differently because of what you encouraged us to get into the garden and get some kale or some garlic, right? Seasonings, right? And so I just want to make sure we start there.

Thank you. The brilliance and beauty that you hold. I appreciate you.

Thank you.

[Speaker 3]
Equally, you know, at BEAM, we find it really important to make sure that we check in with people. We know that the work we're doing is brilliant and amazing and all the things and that people are at the center of the work. And so before we jump into conversation, we want to check in with you.

How are you? How's your heart?

[Speaker 1]
Oh, honey, she's very good. Yeah, I'm amazing. I feel super blessed.

I feel happy. I feel joyful. I'm a little warm.

Okay. Because, you know, I've been going through the perimenopause. But I'm all right.

Yeah, I feel very good. Thank you for asking.

[Speaker 3]
Yes, of course.

[Speaker 1]
How are you doing? You feel all right?

[Speaker 3]
You know, I feel good. Yes. I feel good because I was watching you on Instagram and now I'm talking.

So I feel my divine purpose is showing up right on time.

[Speaker 2]
Honey, you're living in it.

[Speaker 3]
That's right. So I feel great.

[Speaker 2]
I love it. You feel good? You know, I'm feeling good, too.

It's a moment that's unique for me. Like, you know, having founded the organization and, like, now watching it grow and the amazing team and then being able to be—to hold space for folks like yourself and many of us to come together. I'm a little bit—I'm overwhelmed with, like, gratitude, right?

[Speaker 4]
Yeah.

[Speaker 2]
You know what I mean? So I'm sitting with that and also just the grace and, like, feeling grateful the ancestors trusted me.

[Speaker 1]
I love that. You know? I'm very proud of y'all.

Oh, thank you.

[Speaker 2]
Amazing.

[Speaker 1]
That means a lot coming from you.

[Speaker 2]
That's me. Good stuff. So, you know, I want to—let's open up the conversation and, like, you know, start talking about things.

You know, one of the things that I appreciate about you, and there are many, okay? I'm going to name that. So many things.

But it aligns with the work that we do at BEAM, and that is about practice, right? That the work of being, quote, unquote, well or cultivating wellness and healing, it ain't something you got to just think about. You actually got to put in some effort, right?

[Speaker 3]
Yeah.

[Speaker 2]
Whether it's in the kitchen, in the garden, whether it's the affirmations, the way you talk to yourself, all those different pieces, right? And through your journey, you share with us a lot of those practices, right? I know I tried some of the recipes.

They didn't work out as good as I— I know.

[Speaker 3]
Because I feel like at your house, the recipes go right every time. And I be like, I feel like I just—something else I need to have.

[Speaker 1]
You got to put in there what you want.

[Speaker 2]
That's all right.

[Speaker 3]
Trust your spirit.

[Speaker 2]
So, yeah, I would love to just open a conversation like, you know, what are you practicing that's helping you hold the space that you hold as a mother, as a wife, as this leader of this space? What are some of the practices you do?

[Speaker 1]
I think for me personally, but also as I always try to encourage others, the first thing is understanding how to be well. Because a lot of times we don't know how to be well. Okay, come on.

Right? We know how to treat others well, but we don't necessarily know how to treat ourselves well. And so for me, it's an intentional effort every day to make sure I'm being well.

Like, does this make me feel well? You know, how I treat myself so that I can show up for others, how I eat. That's a constant practice.

Right now, I'm like going through a whole different challenge with like gluten and tab love bread. But lately, it ain't been agreeing with me, Jesus. So now I'm having to like change how I've been eating.

Right. So but I know that I listen to my body, which is the most important thing for me. If my body tells me it don't like something, I don't know if this is for somebody else.

Why am I going to give it the thing that it don't like again? Come on. You know how y'all eat that mac and cheese.

No one good way is going to tell you.

[Speaker 2]
Yes.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah. You got to tell me. Yeah.

You know, I don't know who I'm talking to, but somebody else can touch and agree. But just listening to my body, that is how I can treat myself well. And so, you know, eat something and you get a headache or being around certain people that causes you anxiety.

Why am I around them people?

[Speaker 2]
Come on. All right. That's the movement.

[Speaker 1]
You know, also not expressing myself. If that gives me anxiety, why am I not expressing myself? Why am I not telling my truth?

You know, so those are the things that I do to be intentionally well. And also knowing when to just be quiet. Honey, that right there serves us very well sometimes.

You know, sometimes every conversation doesn't warrant a response. Sometimes me just listening and observing is my response. Come on now.

[Speaker 4]
Right.

[Speaker 1]
And sometimes that's what I need to feel well. Because also we've got to recognize when even if I comment, it ain't going to serve me well because it's going to go into a whole nother thing. And I'm not going to do that to myself today.

So these are common practices for myself that I have to be intentional with. But I do it and I enjoy doing it because I know the outcome of it. And people also recognize when you have started to grow in an area of your life where you're really trying to practice what you preach.

Right. And it shows up as wellness for others. My daughter recognized something in me the other day.

She said, Mommy, I see you, girl. I said, all right, choice. Thank you, girl.

But something that, you know, that I have been working on. And she was like, I saw you doing the work. So it's a constant thing.

[Speaker 2]
I love that. I want to go back to this piece about, you know, the relationship to the body, right? Because, like, I know you're a Southerner and I'm a Southerner as well, right?

And I know for me, when I thought about my relationship to food, like, I think about the ways in which people who I love and been in a relationship with in my community. You know, sometimes I wasn't always taught to listen to my body or not always hear my body with the cues it was sending. I think about, like, you know, in my family, you know, there's a courage, like, you know, you eat till you got the itis, right?

Right. You know what I mean? And then I realized later on, I said, wait, I'm overeating.

Right. I'm kind of like, or I think about, like, how sometimes in many of my communities, our families, my family, it's like sometimes I didn't learn necessarily that if I ate something that didn't feel good, that meant that, like, I actually just shift what I eat. Right.

Sometimes a lot of us are struggling because those foods can be so comforting. I'm not saying it's hard to let go. Right.

It's comforting going in. Yes, exactly.

[Speaker 3]
Not coming out ain't comfortable. Yeah. Yeah.

[Speaker 2]
And so I'm thinking about that nuance of, like, so many of us have not been taught to listen to our bodies, to honor our bodies for a lot of different reasons. We might be outside of our bodies.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah.

[Speaker 2]
Connected to them. That's a really important piece.

[Speaker 1]
It's really important to also unlearn what you were taught. Come on now. Right.

Especially when it come to eat. A lot of us were taught to overeat.

[Speaker 2]
Yes.

[Speaker 1]
They say, no, you're going to eat all the food on your plate. Yes. Say it.

Even if you were not hungry. So now you developed an eating disorder that you didn't even realize was taught to you. Right.

So now some people still finish all their food on their plate by habit because they formed it as a child. And so they don't even know why they overeat. But it was something that you have to unlearn.

Yes. And it goes hand in hand with not recognizing when something doesn't feel well. That's right.

Because sometimes when you're taught as a child to eat everything on your plate or you ain't going to get up until you finish eating.

[Speaker 4]
Right.

[Speaker 1]
That gives you a different anxiety. So now you don't know if the food made you feel unwell or if it was the anxiety that made you feel unwell. Come on now.

So now you don't know how to separate the two. So you just spent, you know, how many other years just still eating the same stuff that wasn't making you feel well. Come on.

So now you got to unlearn. And now when you've grown, you make your own decisions. Absolutely.

Do a little bit at a time and see how your body tells you it feels.

[Speaker 2]
Yes. And I love that part about unlearning because it's the piece too, Tab. And I feel you do this really brilliantly and beautifully.

Natalie, we do this a lot in our work too. When we're unlearning, I'm always unlearning with grace and compassion for the people who may have taught me patterns. I learned that I understand that my mother, my grandmother, my uncle, they might have passed down things to me that were how they knew how to navigate the world.

And some of those things they gave me were really useful and helpful. And some of the things I'm like, hmm, maybe I want to do this differently. So how do I unlearn with grace?

Like when I was a vegetarian, which my family made lots of fun of me when I became a vegetarian. I had an uncle who every time I would come around, my dad's name is Michael. He'd be like, here comes Michael, boy.

I'll put some grass on the grill. I'm like, really? Wow.

You know, there's a lot of shade. But I think one of the things that I'm really grateful I had models to know is that like, well, for me it was I would bring, you know, I would start cooking kale. Or I would start bringing like collard greens without the meat.

I wasn't going from the approach that I had seen some of my friends do, shaming for people to eat. Why are you eating that? Or like, you know, looking down on people.

I was like, no. I honor where we all are at. Here's something I'm eating.

That's right. And it was interesting like seeing that. I saw my mom and all be like, well, let me see them greens you do.

Let me see what that is going on right there, right? That's right. Because I think that I see a lot of vegans and vegetarians sometimes go from the shame route.

I'm like, that's not the route to help support people in healthy eating. Or shift or thinking about their eating differently. That's right.

You know what I mean? And so just naming that as a really important piece. You don't want to force it on nobody.

Yeah.

[Speaker 3]
Speaking of family and traditions, you know, we got the opportunity to meet your family via social media. And I'm really curious about the traditions that you have with your family. And also thinking about that your platform has exploded.

That you're all over the place. You got a book and the businesses. You got all these things going on.

I'm curious about what practices you utilize within your family to keep them grounded. And to help your kids flourish. And to keep your relationship flourishing as your life is continuing to get bigger and bigger.

We know that these are things you prayed for. And also we know that sometimes we pray for things. And then we get there and we're like, oh, this is really different than I thought it was going to be.

So I'm curious about how you all navigate that. And kind of as the architect in some ways, how do you think about that?

[Speaker 1]
I wouldn't call it tradition. But, you know, in my house, we just at home. All the other stuff that y'all see tab is there.

At home, I am mama. I am wife. I'm just tab.

[Speaker 4]
Right.

[Speaker 1]
It ain't no nothing fancy happening at the house. And we're going to still go to school in the morning. I'm going to drop my son off.

Me or my husband. We're going to do homework. Me and my daughter are going to talk.

We're going to be in the kitchen. I'm going to have them Crocs on and my Moo Moo if I feel like it. I am never.

And I say this with the most respect for myself. I ain't never going to believe the hype. That ain't my business.

Come on. Right. So I'm grateful for the life God has given me.

But I also know who I am. So I don't there's not much to navigate at home because I have remained the same. Right.

I do my husband for 26 years. So I have 26 years.

[Speaker 3]
Come on. Come on. Come on.

[Speaker 1]
Come on. Come on.

[Speaker 3]
I said, wait a minute.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah.

[Speaker 3]
Because every time you say that, I'm like, no, y'all met when you was two.

[Speaker 1]
We were very young. We, you know, we originally dated, you know, in eighth grade, but I broke up with him. I had to see what was out there in high school.

Oh, hey, look, look, look. So we got back together after high school. But yeah, you know, we've been married for 21 years, but we've been doing life together for a long time.

And so we're going to continue to do that. That I know the ins and outs of for my family. All the other things are new things that come along.

And it's a bonus for my family to live well and and, you know, be able to enlarge the territory that God has has planned for me. But everything else is like my kids, like my son to this day in his mind. He don't think that you successful unless you've got to tell them what the things that go up.

And so you'd be like, Mom, are you doing? You're doing all right. But, you know, you ain't got the Tesla with the dough to go up, though, Mama, you know, so just being who I am.

Right. And I'm also I'm from I'm from the country. You know, my daddy worked in the mill.

My mama worked in the mill and she was a social worker and she was a pastor like we real people. I ain't never going to forget that. And so my children know that.

We also know that God is the center. Right. So that's just how I live my life.

But they also see that. OK, mommy, you know, she does pursue a dream. She does work really hard.

Me and my husband, we have a great balance that we've created. Like this is our foundation. We my husband always tells me this and the children.

We all we got. That's it. And that's how we live our lives.

So I love that.

[Speaker 2]
I'm trying I'm trying to hold myself because I know I've got to say so, you know, as a southerner, you talk about being from the south country. Right. As a country person as well.

You know, I think and it's funny for me when I think about like how that shapes and forms your life.

[Speaker 4]
Right.

[Speaker 2]
When you grow up in the south and the country. And I always say I know people, my friends from different parts of the country going to be mad at the same like all black people, United States, somewhere from the south. So when I go, I'm like, but your people from Mississippi.

OK, yeah. Well, yeah. Like they were like, oh, but I'm Detroit.

But they from Louisiana. Check it out. You know.

And so this whole thing, like the beauty of like the southern being southern. And I think that like also that was one of the things that was really powerful for me when I heard your southern accent.

[Speaker 4]
Right.

[Speaker 2]
There's a way in which I feel like there's something about just like that twang and the honesty of owning it that creates a level of comfort. You know what I mean? And connection.

Just want to name that as a southerner. I was like, oh, wait a second, because I was also coming to a space where I was encouraged to talk, quote unquote, code switch. Oh, yeah, I did that for years.

And I remember like, you know, I remember seeing your platform growing. I had people that would come to me, foundations and people like we didn't take you seriously because you don't talk. You don't you don't talk right.

You don't talk the right way. I talk to you the same way I talk to the funders and the white folks and whatever. You know what I mean?

So I just really appreciate you for that, for being you. I think it gave me gave me permission to do that, too.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah. It's freedom. It's freedom.

Right. Because I did not for a very long time speak with my accent. I always covered it.

The classes did everything I could to cover my accent. Whether I was working in corporate America, being told I sound ignorant on the phone. I've heard that.

Then coming to, you know, L.A. pursuing entertainment, saying you don't want to get typecast. They can put you in a box. I was I was taught to sound like nobody can know where you're from.

That's like a neutral thing. And I didn't realize that that meant I was giving away my freedom. And so I was like, hmm.

In the last seven years, I've been on a freedom walk. And so when God when I told God that if he healed me, he can have me. That meant I had to be who he created me to be.

And so I could no longer pretend to be somebody I created. I had to be who he created. So this is this who y'all.

Yes. And I love me. Yes.

You know, when I speak, I represent my family.

[Speaker 3]
So and I love that piece because I'm thinking about how often, you know, first of all, just anti blackness is.

[Speaker 1]
Oh, yeah.

[Speaker 3]
Just a part of the world. Right. Also, including us.

We can be anti black as well. And sometimes that's how it shows up. Right.

Is that we just try to become some other thing that we've seen modeled for us. And don't actually invest the time to know who we are, who we are, what we're trying to say in the world. We're trying to fit in instead of creating a whole world around us, which is what I love and appreciate about you.

Is you was like, no, you're going to get tapped. This is what it is. And you're just going to like it or we ain't going to do it.

[Speaker 1]
But it took a long time for me to get there. Right. I was always trying to fit in.

But the moment that God kind of put it on me, he said, if you can keep it in, how are you going to stand out? Oh. And so I was like, all right.

And you said, OK. All right, Lord, I hear you loud and clear.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah. I mean, also, like I'm just I'm feeling the feels. Also, I'm thinking about not think about this because this is how I imagine I've heard you say these things.

Like, you know, I'm thinking, what is what kind of pain you have to be in to try to suggest to me to shift who I am for your comfort? Yeah. Right.

You know, I mean, like that's the piece, like, what do you have to be in to tell me that my voice and my twang and the way I speak, which is all my people, which is where I'm from. Yeah. Right.

You want me to abandon them in the service of what? Yeah. You know, I mean, in a service to who?

You know, and I think about that, like as you said, that piece and like the ways in which we are in pain or people are struggling.

[Speaker 4]
Yeah.

[Speaker 2]
I think that they have to conform to this vision of whatever is the norm or the dominant standard. You know what I mean? So I'm just thinking about that, as you were saying.

That's right.

[Speaker 1]
And who created that norm anyway?

[Speaker 2]
Come on now. All right. Come on now.

[Speaker 1]
And what is it in service of? Right. However you live your life, truthfully, is your normal.

That's it.

[Speaker 2]
As long as you're being true to who you are, that is normal. That's right. And I think it shows up.

It's all the things about are you the right skin color based off of whose standards? Yeah. The body type based off of whose standards.

Right.

[Speaker 1]
The pattern of love and based off of whose standards. We be tearing ourself up with that. Yeah.

Yeah. Listen, it is putting this whole like hold on yourself. We can put a whole hold on our life trying to navigate the way that we think the world wants us to be.

Yes, it is. And meanwhile, honey, your life's just passing you on by.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah. You know, one of my favorite things to say that I talk about when I'm in interfaith spaces and I tell people, I say, look, we have different religious perspectives, spiritual perspectives. But let me tell you one thing that I'm very clear about.

If you believe that God created this earth. Right. The one thing that is unquestionable to me is there are millions of types of trees, types of fish, types of flowers, herbs, et cetera.

Right. So diversity is God. So you so you trying to say humans get away from honoring God when you say, oh, everybody got to be look like this.

Everybody's body got to be like this. Everybody's skin color supposed to be like this. That's not honoring God.

[Speaker 1]
Right.

[Speaker 2]
Because God is already showing you. Wait a second. You don't see all these fish in these trees and his body types.

What are you talking about? Just one way to say no, baby.

[Speaker 1]
That's right.

[Speaker 2]
And I and I and I and I. So I struggle so deeply when I see people doing that, trying to say come conform to my image. No, baby, I'm in the image of the creator.

And so are you. And so are you. And so all of us.

Right. That's right. And I think that's the piece I always thought.

I said diversity is God. Diversity is the creator, honey. Be you.

You know what I mean? I think that like so much of that, like you represent that.

[Speaker 1]
Very good. I love it. You're right.

When you're right now.

[Speaker 4]
Hey, everybody, it's Dr. Amanda Poole here, BEAM's executive administrator. And today I'm excited to take a moment to introduce you to our wellness tool collection, a resource we offer on our Web site at BEAM.community. These wellness tools were crafted by our mental health experts and are designed to support your wellness journey from affirmation, journal prompts and self-checking guides to step by step instructions on escalation and peer support. Listen, we've got you covered.

One tool I would like to highlight is our colorful feelings. Well, it helps you identify and understand your emotions. So head on over to our Web site and explore the feelings pool and more at BEAM.community. Peace.

[Speaker 3]
I'm really thinking about and curious about what you're excited about right now. I know that you do so many different things, but what is giving you life? What is exciting for you?

What's what's keeping you when you like, oh, I'm I'm nervous, excited. What's exciting for you? Big or small, because you ain't got to tell us the business plan.

Yeah, but it might just be like you like I got these new fluffy slippers.

[Speaker 1]
I do got new bamboo pajamas, though. OK, OK, OK. And bamboo sheets.

It's very good. I did a little mud facial cleanser today for the first time that I had never did. And it was the best experience of my life in the shower.

I was very happy about it. I was like, I need to I need to tell the people about this. But what am I?

I mean, I'm I'm always excited. Right. Like I wake up excited because I always am in expectation of the unexpected.

I just be excited because God said it's more than I can imagine. And I am living proof of that. I'd be like, no, for real.

This is what we do. But I am excited. I'm doing more acting.

And that was my childhood dream is what I've done for over 20 plus years. And I had, of course, taken a break from it for a little while to do, you know, the journey that God had me to do. But now it's like he took me on a journey so I could get back to there.

And so I'm super excited about that. I just finished a movie that will come out, I think maybe this fall. Oh, come on.

I actually posted about it the other day because I'm pregnant in the movie and everybody thought I was pregnant. I saw I saw it, too. I was like, wait a minute.

I said, you know, people don't be reading, but it's all right.

[Speaker 4]
OK.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah. People don't be reading. They don't be reading.

Yeah.

[Speaker 3]
And they'd be arguing all kinds of things.

[Speaker 1]
If they just read it was no argument.

[Speaker 3]
There was no. Yeah, I noticed that, too. Yeah.

Not just me. Yeah.

[Speaker 1]
So I'm excited about that. Developing some new products. Donna's recipe, you know, Donna, she on her location right now.

But she'll be back. Yeah, she'll be back soon. She said.

Grab me a little time. But, you know, new products coming soon. They were expanding in Target and, of course, in Ulta Beauty and super excited.

[Speaker 3]
I love that. And I love that you're talking about this. Like, I wake up excited every day because God told me it was more than I could anticipate.

So I'm anticipating something incredible. Yeah. I'm even waking up.

I'm curious if there were times in your life where that wasn't true. And how did you get back to that excitement?

[Speaker 1]
You know, there have absolutely been, you know, times where you wake up and you don't know what's going on. Like, Lord, I remember saying, God, what are you doing? But also now I can still say that.

I'm like, oh, God, what you doing? It's all in how we interpret what he's doing. But absolutely.

There were dark seasons of my life. But if my husband was here, he would tell you I have always naturally been joyful. I've always felt it was coming.

I'm a seer, so I've always seen things before they arrived. I would dream things and wake up and be like, oh, I had this dream. And we was living in this house and we was doing this and this.

I have even co-dreamed like with my daughter. We can have both woke up the same morning and have had the same dream, like be in the same, you know, dream. And I would just hold on to those moments when the dark season would come.

And I would just remind myself, OK, I remember you've seen this. Something. This is just a season.

This is just temporary. You're going to get through this. But but absolutely.

I used to work in a assisted living facility in Palmdale. Well, actually, it was in Lancaster. We were living in Palmdale.

Anybody living in Palmdale? It's a new day. It's a new day.

Bless you, baby. Bless. All right.

You live there now. You still live there. Oh, praise God.

OK. Ain't nothing wrong with it, but it's far. It's far.

I put about 40,000 miles on my car when we was up there. Anyway, stay focused. So but I used to work in this assisted living facility and I worked the night shift and I was drawn to go and work there.

Like after my mama passed away, because I was also my mom's caregiver. After she passed away, I just had this need to serve in that capacity. So I was like, I'm gonna go get this job as a, you know, as a CNA.

I'm going in and really serving and help elderly people. And I was drawn to work at night and so many things in the supernatural would happen. And but I would still go in the bathrooms and I would look at myself in these, you know, khakis and this little blue collar shirt that, you know, is a uniform.

And sometimes I would just cry in the mirror and I'm like, God, why did you pull me here? I'm not acting right now. I'm struggling.

I think I was making like ten, eleven dollars an hour and I was just in a place of confusion. But I knew he wanted me there. I just didn't know why.

And so I would just look at myself in the mirror and cry. But I'm like, but I can still see that you are bigger than this. I see it, though.

I just don't know what it is right now. And of course, here we are years later, I'm now developing a show based on that experience. So even in the season where it don't make sense, where it feels dark and you don't understand where you feel stuck, like it ain't going to happen.

It's still for your good. It still is part of his plan. And so even in those those moments, I would just hold on to a little glimmer, like whatever I could hold on to, to believe that it would pass.

The season would be as temporary as it could be. But, yeah, absolutely. There have definitely been those days where it didn't feel like it feels now.

And even now there are days that I wake up and it's not the best day. It's a great day because I woke up. But it don't necessarily mean that it's like, oh, this is the best day ever.

[Speaker 3]
I really appreciate you sharing that because I think so much of my own journey, I really relate to that. There were so many things that I did in my career that people, other people, you know, outside of myself were like, this don't make sense. How do you do what you do?

You're doing a poetry, you teaching in prisons, you're doing all this. And people are going, what are you doing? And I think about the work that I get to do with BEAM and how I get to do all of those things.

But I wouldn't be able to do those things here if I hadn't done them already somewhere else in practice to refine. So I appreciate that. You know, every day ain't going to be great.

That's right. And when it's not, are you going to use it as fuel or are you going to punish yourself? Oh, I should be.

Oh, I should have a better job. I should. You might one day.

But will you have the grit to sustain once you get there? And I think you're such a testament to that.

[Speaker 1]
I think understanding every part of the journey. Before I went on disability, I worked at a contract manufacturing company for five years. I couldn't stand this job.

I was like, Lord, I don't got stuck in this job. But it was flexible enough for me to leave and go, you know, do auditions and come back. And, you know, I could lie good and they wouldn't check.

I would like, you know, I got to be out with my child for four days. But really, I was shooting some and they'd be like, oh, we hope they feel better. They didn't check.

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