Welcome to Sense, Sensibility and Chaos. Where we try to make sense of the world fail spectacularly, and have a great time doing it.

I'm busy because I'm always juggling a million things, trying new recipes and catching up with loved ones.

I'm well read because if there's a book about it, I've read it, overanalyzed it, and come up with at least three theories.

And I'm tall girl because this is the only identity I will commit to long term besides being a master of wit, Commentary and mild chaos.

Together, we take on the quirks of everyday life overthink the little things, And try to balance being responsible adults with embracing the nonsense.

Think of this as your virtual tea or coffee chat with friends, except we occasionally spiral into and absolutely encourage the chaos.

So get comfortable, grab a drink. And let's get into it.

Or embrace brings the chaos.

Preferably both. So today's episode, folks, welcome, welcome, welcome. This is our third episode and we're going to be talking about why are people like this. We're going to take a dive into human behavior that makes zero sense.

I love that we think we can cover this in 40 minutes.

{Laughter}

There's entire industries devoted to this but like oh we're we're going to get this down to 40 quick minutes. Don't you worry, kids.

Don't worry, science. We got this.

We're not overachievers at all. Confidence level 1000.

Level delusion.

Fixing the world one podcast at a time.

Level delusion there. All right, so let's start with - What is one of the first ones we want to start with? Weird social norms?

Yeah, I think that's a good place to start.

You know, here's a thing. You know how people pretend not to see people in public, or whatever?

Oh, I do that all the time.

Okay, here's the thing. Legit… I will remember your face, but I am terrible about names. It's not that I'm not pretending not to know you, but if like one of you or somebody I know isn't with me.

Mm-hmm.

I don't know your name. So I know I'm going to be like, hi, you're the person who loves mustard. It was so great when we were in camp together. And like. 45 minutes later, I still don't remember your name. So like I can engage, but I can't remember who the hell you were. Best boyfriend I ever had I could turn to. And I was like. He's the guy who's cheating on his wife who almost choked on the steak at dinner. And he'd be like, oh, Tim. And I'd be like, cool. I remember everything else. He would remember the name. I never should have broken up with that guy.

Don't you have like the social cues with a friend Where if you and I were together and you turned to the mystery person and you kind of give me the look and I know to say, oh, hi i'm busy, Nice to meet you. And then they introduce their names like have you not implemented that or thought to implement that

You've been in public with me, right? You've heard me lean over to you and be like, who the fuck? Is this person? And you're like, we only spent like six years at school with them.

That is true. But seriously, you just I mean, I've also just come flat out like, listen, I'm having a moment. Can you just remind me your name? I don't care. I'll fall on the sword.

Although I will say for true jerks. For true jerks when they walk back up in a bar, I will absolutely pretend I have no idea who they are just to crush their souls.

That's sweet of you, keeping them honest.

Because some men deserve it.

Some women, many people deserve it. Let's be honest. I am a fair… distributors. That is right. I hate everyone equally.

Equal opportunity hater.

Okay, small admission. There's one of our friends one of her friends constantly said my name wrong. For like a year. It's been a decade. Every single email I'm on with her I find another variation of her name. I'm running into like Zulu tribal names at this point, but like No. For a year you refused to get my name right. For a lifetime, I will never get yours right. On purpose.

I worked at a company where nobody knew how to spell my name the entire length of the time I worked there.

Okay, but that's in your email signature like. And even like teams now prompts, like you've got it wrong like That's a choice.

Yes, it is. Yep. Yep. No, I 100% am one of those people that will, I pretend to not see people.

Really?

That yeah I just don't want, especially if I haven't seen that person in a long time and it's been, Like, Awkward. In the past, I will… I will pretend not to see you. I will look a different direction. And pretend not to see you.

Like ex social drama or just in general like i don't want to have to-

No, just if so if I don't know someone well or if I've only met them once or twice and it was like an awkward interaction. I… will move my eyes in a different direction if I see them first. If they see me first It's a different story. And then I will also try to remember their name because-

That is in the years when I used to do a lot of trade shows for work because of my height 100% You will find me in a crowd before anybody else. I would be on a convention floor and from across the convention hall Somebody I haven't seen from three years is like, yo! Hey! I am like ducking behind tables. I am trying to hide. I don't remember you. You were booth 187 and I was booth 193 and we were friends for life. And I'm like, I'm sure I was. And then on the next day.

Those three magical days. I had a vendor and it became actually a joke that I kept forgetting his name or I was remembering it like a coworker who was with him. So it became the joke for a while Now I know his name and I, you know, I got past that, but for the longest time it became the joke between us and Some of our other coworkers, but I know you don't have my name. I'm like, I appreciate that you know i you know this And you still talk to me. And then I got you know then when one, two years goes into six, seven, eight, 10 years You remember the people.

Speak for yourself.

{laughter}

I will say though i will say though -I think also -I will also say I am very golden retriever. If I find you in any way fascinating, I'm the first one to run up to you in a room and be like. I want to be my buddy? And then you guys are kind of always looking at me like, why are we talking to strangers? Like, why did we approach strangers?

All right, let's see another a social norm, the Texting etiquette.

It's…{sigh}

Wow, that was a deep sigh. I felt that from here.

Okay, so here's the thing. And look, admittedly, I am busy.

Noooooo.

So there are times when you guys text me and in my head or even half the time I've written the response and I don't hit send. Hey, have you?

Yep.

So very often when you guys are like six weeks later like did you Read did this yesterday. She was like about the message I sent you that was important like two hours ago. I'm like, in my head, I totally responded to you. And it's sitting in the bubble. It just hasn't hit send.

I mean, I do that too.

If Apple wants to do me a favor In your inbox for Outlook, it'll be like, did you mean to send this or put this in drafts? Text messages should prompt you like eight hours later, like, do you know you didn't hit send?

Like when you sign into a website, you know, your banking website You know, we're going to lock you out for inactivity Do you mean to send this text? Did you forget to hit the send button? I'm sure that that would be helpful too. Busy people or ADHD or -

Like if there could be an auto response, if I don't respond to your text message after eight hours, like she loves you. She's not trying to invalidate you. Just remember who you texted. This is really on you. She loves you deeply. She's just not texting back anytime soon.

Oh, we know. We know we just keep hitting you over the head with text messages or just will show up. So that's pretty much how that goes down.

I will say like in the mid-2000s, writing back K or KK was like the thing And I feel so bad, but sometimes when you're texting me.

Mm-hmm.

No. I have a friend who feels that the Thumbs up emoji could be passive aggressive.

Really? Why?

And I could see like I could Kind of like in the sense of like the You know, like some people are like, oh, okay, like kind of like the thumbs up when people can And I could see where it can be. So for that person, I will not, you know, if one of us sends a text and we do the thumbs up to acknowledge it on the chat. I will not do that. I will. Because it's seen, listen, everyone has their things. I get it. I see the point of it.

I will say like especially for Brits, like Ireland, England, Scotland, even Wales, when they send texts, when they send texts When they send text, they end it with an X, which is a kiss. Which is lovely. But then I'll forget and I'll translate that over to like an American text. And I'm like, oh. Oh, I've just turned in like sexual harassment like For them, it's just like the polite way to end a text, like thinking of you, you know, like hope to see you on Sunday, you know, Dan's going to make a roast X. And then I forget and carry it to an American conversation. And I'm like. I think I just unintentionally flirted and I don't want to be flirting right now so like like I had to like put a thing in like never text X to anybody like never ever text X to anybody. It's just going to get you in trouble.

Oh, I just want to start sending you text messages with just X at the end of it. Even mid-conversation i'm just going to x

First of all, I inappropriately flirt with you 24 seven. Half of our friendship is based on it. It's just other people and I forget.

That is true. I expect the flirting.

Now, along the lines with the long text Do you feel there's a time when people should just do a long text versus a voice message?

I like a voice message because I can get your intonation of like angry versus like There are sometimes people will send you a nine paragraph text and you're like, oh my God, are you okay? And fine. But if they call you or they give you an audio message and they're like, oh my God, versus like. This is my mildly frustrating day. I know how to give you, I have sworn forever there needs to be like a sarcasm font. But there also needs to be like an emotional indicator to tell you like, this is my rage level. Related to the thing I'm about to message you. I've had people text me like my grandpa died and I'm like, oh my god so sorry. And they're like, it's cool. I'm like I don't, I feel like I missed a step.

I'm…

I feel like I was supposed to be sympathetic and you're acting like it's Thursday. I don't I don't know where to go in this message now.

I am actually the opposite. I prefer the long text over the voice note.

Why is that?

I am not always in a place where I am capable of listening to the voice note. And then people inevitably respond to themselves in the voice note. So if I haven't listened to the voice note and then I get five texts referring to the voice note...

But the same could be said The same can be said about a text too.

Okay.

Yes, but if you are, if you send me a voice note and then you send me five texts following up. I have to stop what I'm doing and listen to the voice note. Which means I have to probably find my earbuds and make sure that I'm in a place where I can focus on listening to it. If you send me six text messages. I can determine at a glance whether or not I need to like pay attention to this right this second Or if I can like a voice note oftentimes the transcript of it is awful.

Oh, I find that funny.

And I cannot be bothered. I cannot be bothered.

First of all, you deal with the fact that I haven't used punctuation in a text message to you.

This is true.

Pretty much in our entire friendship. It's like I have a quota of them per day and I use them at work and I refuse to use them in my personal life. So…

But that's also partially how we learned to text like people find the period passive aggressive at the end of a sentence.

You'll also know I'm kidnapped if I ever put a semicolon and a message to you guys. But call the FBI if I use punctuation all the way through the sentence.

Hey.

But also, at the same time, can I just ask for our friendship?

I mean, that's fair. I would also say with he voice messages I try to keep it to a time frame as best I can. Like 3-4 minutes, maybe 5, if I do. And people are like, oh my god, that long a message? Because sometimes, I'm, you know, working through something, and I'm basically having the conversation we would have had if you were in the room with me. But it's one-sided and I'll get to you later. So I do try to keep to the etiquette of keeping it smaller clips so that it's not, you know, you start to listen someone calls you and it stops - like Read was saying, the time to actually sit there an listen. So that's for me.

I prefer the novel.

I prefer follow-up questions, because it's usually as you're talking, my brain is like, well, what were they wearing? Whereas if you send me a novel, I can't, like - in conversation I can insert questions. In text it's like, I have given you the information. But -

If I'm listening to an audio message from someone, and let's say Tall girl here says, this person cut me off on the road. As I'm listening to you talk, I'm typing comments to what you're saying as I'm listening. So if you said, oh, I tried out that restaurant, I'm typing, what did you try. Just so that when we actually get to have a conversation you can engage with my feedback from the voice message.

I will say you are a much better active listener than I am. It is something I appreciate about how you -

Me

Yeah. You bring up details in things I've said to you - whereas I've said it and I'm donee with it, and it's no longer in my brain and I've moved. But you do come with these follow-up questions. Or like a year later you'll quote me and I'm like, there's no way I said that.

And this is when Read and I can go, here, we have the saved audio message. Hold Please.

Which you guys are apparently downloading as like

We download the good ones.

Just know I am forever done with audio messages to you guys.

Lies. She likes.

I thank you.

All right. So what are some other-

You know what? Is one of the things and a guy who's grocery shopping this morning so frigging shopping carts, man.

Yes.

There's actually a thing called shop and part theory so it's so people who leave their shopping carts just willy-nilly all over the parking lot or purposely put it into a parking space People who move their shopping carts around like they own the freaking store Or versus the people who you know if someone is like if you're driving, if someone is coming through an aisle and they have the right of way you let them go Or you put your shopping cart back into the Hutch at the end of your shopping time like Yeah, it's basically People will get away with whatever they think they can get away with

But you're also supposed to take dates to the grocery store to see how people handle a shopping cart because that will give you an indicator to their personality more than anything else. Do they walk it back? Do they wipe it off? Do they prop it on the ledge?

Oh, that's interesting.

The one that drives me crazy is like when people push it away in almost like a musical kind of way. Like I'm just, I'm sending it to the far side of the parking lot, wherever it may sail.

Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm just like, what is that? You couldn't just leave it. You had to put in the effort to like, especially when the cart guy is like an aisle away And it's just like, you see the guy You clearly see the guy if you just left it or when you leave it right behind the car next to you so they just won't be able to reverse kind of stuff.

Yeah. You know it was pouring rain here earlier today and while grocery shopping we were having difficulty finding a cart that worked because people had not returned the carts to where they were supposed to be returned.

And it turned out I turned down an aisle in the parking lot so that I could find a parking space and they were all at the far end.

Willy nilly. So it wasn't like somebody had been organizing them to bring them back up. It was they were just All everywhere.

Like, why?

I think I fall into I would say 85 to 90% of the time, I'm going to put it back in the shopping cart aisle that's like around this area. I have a lot of spots Where if you have the aisles for parking. Like halfway down one side of the aisle, there will be a spot for you to put your cart into I'm 90% of the time there.

Mm-hmm.

Are there times when I have popped it, like popped the front wheels onto the curb so that I don't have to because they're one of those is nowhere near and it is down-pouring rain, Or freezing cold. Yes, I've absolutely done that. But I do try to. And then I also try to organize them if i see them Because some of them have in this area the normal size shopping cart, but then they have those smaller one where it's like Too small like a tall a top level and a second level below. And they're tinier so that they're shorter carts that you're not maneuvering. And a lot of stores by us will have different in those spots where you put the carts in the middle of the parking lot. They will have different like lanes like this is for the shorter cart this is for the normal size carts buggies, whatever people call them around the world and So if I see that they're chaotic. And I have a minute to spare, I will sometimes organize them a little bit.

Rearrange them yeah

And also if people just toss them into the the holding pen, I guess, for all these carts and they're all just all over. I try to get them so that they actually get into a line so you can fit more into them instead of just all over the place.

It's just little.

Oh, don't go. That's a little too far slow down.

It's because you're a good person. Well, from a sociological perspective, you're a better person than a lot of the other cart users of the world.

Mm-hmm. It's because there's no consequences.

Oh.

Sorry.

There are the people who want… No, but like in COVID, people were walking out of the stores with the grocery carts, well, the plastic carts because they weren't giving out bags in New Jersey. So people started taking those plastic baskets and they took those baskets home because they were like, okay, well, if you're not going to give me a plastic bag.
15:01:05 I'm going to take your basket. So the grocery stores around here stopped giving out baskets because they're like the baskets Yeah.

Is that why they're not anywhere?

Mm-hmm. Yep, because people were taking them home.

Yeah, because it's

Not all the stores. Some of the stores, I've noticed that. I'm like, I just have like three items And I don't need a whole big heart and I can't find the little carts.

Then they're not cheap. They're like $80 a basket, but they're meant to hold up for years. I do not. And it's not like people brought them back. It's like those post office mail boxes that every the plastic bins that like Everybody has six in their garage and they're not supposed to because it's property of the USPS. Yeah, nobody brought them back. They actually did like news stories here that people weren't bringing them back. If you're going to deny me plastic, I'm going to cost you. And I'm like.

Yep.

So you're willing to go to the grocery store, buy all the groceries, but like openly admit to theft. On Channel 9 News. That you're stealing this basket from this store like this Sir, do you know how crime works?

Interesting.

But again, it's what people can get away with versus what they know they'll get caught at. That's what shopping cart theory really comes down to is what type of person are you? When you know you're not going to get caught. What will you try to get away with? When there are no consequences to the actions of you getting away with that thing. Like, do you do the right thing? Do you put the shopping cart back? Do you put the basket back? Or do you just take it home or leave it willy nilly?

A grocery store by me for years has had like a cookie counter that you self-serve from. So like the lace cookies, the raspberry, whatever cookies. And I will say I am taller, so I see this, I think maybe more than most people.

Okay.

There's a little box on top of the cookies that says samples 25 cents each. So if you're just going to grab a cookie for your kid to keep them busy as they go through the store.

You're meant to be paying. One day I came home and my neighbor is like, hey, have you been going to the whatever in town? I was like, yeah. She's like, for your whole life. I'm like.

For most of my whole life. Yeah. She's like, do you know that there's a change box at the top of the cookie like thing? And if you're going to grab a cookie for your kid to keep them entertained in the store, you're supposed to put like a quarter. I'm guessing it was a nickel when I was little, but like. It's a quarter per cookie now. I was like, yeah, that's been there my whole life. She like never saw it. So for like the entire time raising her kids, every time they went shopping, she got her two daughters a cookie, walked around the store. They were entertained. She was whatever. She tried to go into the store and she tried to give him like a hundred bucks for like a lifetime worth of cookies. And they were just like, what are you doing? Like, why would you do that?

Aww.

You might be the only person ever. I was like, no, no, my mom put change in there. And every once in a while, like I would just grab one, like I would pick up something because I went in to like grab dinner. So grab a cookie, put a quarter in and like whatever, go shopping She tried to bring the money and they were just like, are you an idiot? Why would you you've gotten away with your crime for so long. Why would you admit to it? And why would you try to compensate us? And she was like. Why wouldn't I try to pay for my crimes? Aren't you in the business of money?

That's weird.

It's one of those weird things like weird things like - It's just one of those weird things.

I did it once or twice too, like the grocery store something like The grocery store used to have black cards. So if you put something dark on the lower part of the cart. I wouldn't always see it like once or twice I did walk out of the store and I didn't mean to but like. You know my purse was there or something or I didn't see it. I walked back into the store because when I got to unload from the trunk, I'm looking at it at a different angle. Multiple times I've tried to walk back into the store and be like. Here's the thing. Please don't call the cops for like cranberry juice like this is not the crime I want to go down for. And they're always just like, why would you come back? Like, why didn't you just take it? And I'm like.

I don't get that response. Thank you. You know, sometimes I'm like. We know it wasn't intentional. It's okay. Don't worry about it. That I've gotten more than the why would you come back?

Yeah. Well, stores. Yeah, stores… calculate into their business a certain amount of loss So if you because people do intentionally take things from stores. So if you accidentally walk out with something and you come back like, oh my God, I did this thing. And I did that with a pair of jeans once. They put an extra pair of jeans into my bag. That were not mine. And I brought them back and they were like, why? Nobody does that. Nobody brings anything back. I do. I did not pay for these. These are not mine.

I think that would be fantastic.

It's not. I can't roll up into Rikers as the cranberry juice criminal like just I need to roll hard. Like, it's not even a societal thing. I need to roll hard into prison. I'm a peach. I need you to think I'm a serial killer. I can't be going down for juicy Juice.

Oh, good Lord.

I think along the lines of the shopping cart, which I think I see a lot in stores. The people who have their cell phone And they have it on speaker.

Okay, not grocery store.

Don't even get me started. As a person who takes a person who takes No, as a person who takes public transportation fairly regularly This drives me insane. Insane growing up in an area where it was nonstop public transportation I know you have headphones. I see you every day on our commute. I have watched you use your headphones, but you're going to sit there I listen to something obnoxious without your headphones because you feel like you should. Drives me crazy.

Clearly.

Okay, sometimes because I'm a little bit of a schmuck. I would get involved. And I would be like, oh my God, but how long have they been married? And as soon as you pay attention to their conversation. They get really upset. I will also say my pharmacy it's an independent one. So the back wall is like paired products, UTI treatments you know like sexual aids, whatever. And it's right next to the chairs for the pharmacy pickup area. So like if you're waiting for your pickup, if it's not quite ready. The people who are in that aisle who are discussing the blisters and boils and you know maladies of their nether regions on speakerphone.

I can't.

Absolutely not. No, ma'am.

Like, is it oozing? Is it oozing? And I'm just like… no, like I'm sitting here. I cannot walk away from this. I'm waiting for my Z pack so I don't die of the influenza. Like what? Do you know that everybody in this pharmacy is now well up to date on not only your sexual history. But none of us are going within 10 feet of you. We're all terrified. Based on the symptoms you have said out loud in this aisle.

I do…

No, no. There are times, and I can't think of one at the moment, but I know that there are times Where someone might you know if someone might You can have a two phone. Maybe it's a mother and they have, you know, a parent has a child with them and they can't hold the child and that's And it's maybe, you know, hey, did we need milk? Do we need eggs? Something like that. Okay, that's not the worst thing. It's fine. It's the people have these in-depth conversations like, so I lost my job or they're having an affair or like you're saying, like the health matters. And I'm like. Why? Why? Why are we Oh, yeah.

Or it's just the loud music. That they determine that everybody wants to listen to on an enclosed space.

Come on.

Mm-hmm.

I can deal with the music more than the people who are like, I live at 666 Mockingbird Lane and my social security number is 5555.

Or read their credit card number out.

Yeah.They read it out and my password is Bunny B and my birth date is and my grandmother's so and I'm like.

Mm-hmm.

Ma'am, you're about to fund my vacation. You are so very lucky. I don't understand how anybody stole my credit card information. I'm like Really?

If I call a restaurant and I'm calling from this my house. And if I could give them the credit card over the phone And I noticed they're on speaker. I say, please don't either take me off speaker when you need to read it back Or when I give it to you. Please don't read it back out loud. Because like, so I can't imagine doing that in public where the world can hear me.

All right.

It makes no sense.

Do you think it's because they just don't realize or do you think it's because they want to like the attention of the attention of

No, I think it's to do with the fact that a lot of people don't see public spaces as threatening.

Oh, I'm upset.

What kind of public transit have those people been on?

No, it's it's Like… If I can walk down the street And… you know not get accosted, then I can have a private conversation in the middle of a public area. And nobody's going to pay attention to what I'm saying. Meanwhile It's like putting a bumper sticker on the back of your car that says, you know, I donate money to PETA. Well, now I know probably one of one of your passwords is. It's it's just one of those things If you share information in a public arena you can't should you be able to to expect that no one's going to be able to use it against you.

I mean, this is also the people who assume like, oh, you can't do that. Like you're filmed a million times a day on every camera. Like I have a right to my image. I'm like, you have no expectation of privacy.

Mm-hmm.

Anywhere.

Nope. Well, you do have an expectation. You do have a right to privacy in your own home.

Uh-uh.

Legally speaking, you have a right to privacy in your own home. You have a certain amount of privacy expectation in your car. However, people seem to be unaware of windows

No. Okay, I used to commute a lot, so I drove a lot. I have seen people eat soup. Do their makeup. Brush their teeth, pick their nose, read the newspaper like You know we can see through the glass, right? Like…

Or I heard if you're going through drive-thrus And let's say you place your order and then you put the windows up But sometimes people are so loud that the people through the drive-thru can still hear you. So you say, okay, thank you, window up and then you start to talk smack about the person who just took your order.

Mm-hmm.

They can hear that. Or if your music is so loud, they could hear it through the windows or you screaming at you know your children, whatever it might be, they can still hear you. So once I heard that, I'm like. Okay, not that I think I've ever said anything horrible But I just am more aware.

Okay, first of all, why would you risk pissing off the person who serves your food? Like you have to be aware that's like.

Oh, I know.

But also I heard that call centers, sometimes when they're like, okay, I'll be right back and they put you on hold, they hear you on hold or they just put themselves on mute.

Mm-hmm.

And people like give away like, oh, I didn't really hit that car like you know whatever like call centers will use it to catch people because they tend to talk in ways they shouldn't when they're on hold.

Yep. Yep.

People rat themselves out.

They do. They do.

Let's think. Another thing I think we think people's behavior in line with this the oversharing just strangers who talk to us. I don't know what it is about the three of us that says, by all means, please tell me your life secrets. And your deepest, darkest thoughts

Yes. I want to know at your 86 years of advanced age in a nursing home that you killed your first husband because he was beating on you. And you put strychnine in his coffee. Like…

I'm okay with, but I'm just

Which is a dramatic thing that's never actually happened to you, just to clarify You know nothing about actual. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no, that's hyperbole. I know nothing about actual murder. It's hyperbole.

Thank you. Thank you. Mm-hmm. No, I've actually read stories online of people having had that experience like nursing home aides working in a nursing home and the nursing home. Attendee is like, yeah, no, I totally did that. What are they going to do? Put me in jail?

Yes. Yes, they are. I don't know why you think being 86 is going to keep you out of jail.

Well, somebody would have to turn them in first.

Yes. Oh, my God. Yeah.

I think also In align with that, it's also people just give me their children I tell them the story about your subway That's the one that i was thinking of this The subway a couple of years ago for you. Do you not remember that one? You are on a subway heading home.

Um, no.

Oh. You were there, a woman with children in a stroller And there were some, see the details. You're all right. Tall girl, you're right with the details And me. And there were these like late teenage kids acting a fool And they were doing whatever so the woman Just took her child out of the stroller, handed her to Read or handed the child to Read Close the stroller and start swinging it took teenagers and said something along the lines like i don't know where your mom is at, but this mama ain't having it.

You're welcome. And that's what I was thinking of when this happened.

Yep, I totally forgot about that.

When I was writing this up, but that was just like she just random stranger gave you a baby And said, hey, you see trustworthy.

Just totally random. I'm one of those Yeah, for those of you who have been to New York City and are listening, the old F train cars.

I mean, F? Yeah.

Like the old on the app. The old, old, old orange and yellow and brown cars from the 70s.

Yeah.

God, I love that.

I was sitting in one of the corner seats and she was sitting on one of the L-shaped seats with the stroller next to me and just handed me your kid. And proceeded to beat the crap out of these teenagers with her kid's stroller Yeah, like not even two. Not even two, just proceeded to do this. But it's also happened with people not on the subway like the subway Just, yeah.

Oh, yeah. We've been at parties And we know the hosts, let's say, and they obviously have people who we don't know. And one of our mutual friends, we were at their house and the woman was sitting there And her child was in her lab. The child looked away and just all of a sudden like jumped into my arms and someone else said, oh, do you know them? I said, this is the first time I am meeting either this woman or this child, but they felt comfortable enough to say, hey. You have won the right to hold me. And it's just…

Okay, but in fairness, you don't give off creeper vibes. I would never… We are in a party of people we know.

Yeah, I'm winning.

Agreed.

You at least know somebody who's who's here

Yeah, but I'm that paranoid person.

Yeah, but you're a city chick.

You are infinitely more like you know

I am born and raised. I am that paranoid person that knows that creeper people do not give off creeper vibes. They look like the person next door.

Oh no, creeper people give off creeper vibes. That's why most people make me nervous as hell I'm fascinated by them, which is why I talk to them.

But it's also been in situations when we're not in a party. And I could be in a public place and people just say like. Oh, can you just hold her hand for a moment? And it's like Listen, I'm not saying this because I'm surprised that people, I'm surprised that people do it. Not that I think I give off vibes. I hope I don't, but it's more in the way we live now. And I'm also the person that if I saw a parent who had maybe two children and one of them was struggling, I had flat out come up to parents and be like, do you need a hand with something? If you want to say no, that's fine but you Did you need a hand? People are like, no, I'm fine. Or sometimes like, would you mind just grabbing this for them because they couldn't, whatever the situation was. So I am that type who will also offer

Yeah, if somebody's going down the stairs or the stroller i'm At the end of the end of his stroller yeah

I will help with the stroller. You hold your kits.

Well…

Sometimes they just be handing them kids to you though.

I mean, okay, but in fairness, like I've run charity events where then people hold like the money we get at a table, people will just give me like stacks of cash and I'm like.

Yes. Yeah.

Here, hold it and i'm like Okay, I'm technically a volunteer, but you just handed me $30,000 in cash.

Yep.

You have my phone number, but let's face it, I also have the ability to travel internationally like

Yeah, I was at a fundraiser less than a year ago where that exact situation happened.

Well, I heard that you were good at counting money here. What? Here's our proceeds. Count us and tell us how much we made. What? I am literally, you just met me five minutes ago But you heard that i okay

But, like… When I've done this, like corporate 50-50s, I would have like two of the admins sit together like count it and then have her double count because I just don't want it to come back on either of you that like

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

We're 280 short somehow. So I guess people are weirder about money than kids. That's interesting.

Yep.

Secret secrets. Yep.

But also secrets. Again, you could, oh my goodness we are

If you've got a kink of some kind, you will find me and you will tell me about it. And I have no, like, I understand. And my life is not boring because if you have a kinky secret.

You will find me in a crowd and you will come like you will wait for your moment. You guys have seen it that like people just, no, no.

Yep. Yep.

No, no. Dude, you remember when we went for sushi that one time and that one waiter I wouldn't like i didn't want to eat the food he had gotten so creepy. I was just like you

Yeah, he got really creepy. No.

No, it was before. It was before a book club.

I don't think I was there then.

It's Okay.

Oh, that's right. I heard about it later.

It was before book club and we were sitting in this restaurant and this waiter took a fascination to tall and yeah Yep. And decided that I really did, though.

Okay, but what she enjoyed the hell out of it like One of them's like called hot girl role and he's like, yeah, hot girl.

Like, I think I asked for more water and he's like, oh, you thirsty, like I stopped eating because I was pretty sure he had put LSD or rehypnol in my food and she is having the time of her life. And I'm like, can we leave now? And she's like, dessert menu, please.

I had ever seen it in the wild. I had heard your stories before. I had never actually seen it happen. So I was sitting there giggling because I'm having a great time thinking this is this is this is happening. I'm experiencing the weird for the first time. I've seen the TikToks. I've heard the the you know formerly the formerly meta stories and stuff like that and just like yeah

Stories?

Yeah.

I was at a funeral for a family member and we went to like a VFW hall or like a something or other like an organization they have like a hall where you can like cater after whatever. I don't remember what it was

Right.

This one chef took a liking to me to the point that he said to me, like in front of all of the grieving people, I'd like to climb you like a sequoia. But like, it's great that everybody else at the funeral is now like, this is hilarious. We're inviting you to more dead family member events. Like, it was just… And people are like, really? I'm like, yes, I know you guys think I lie about these things, but this is like at a funeral. People are still drying the tears and like, mommy i like

I have thought that in my head about people. I have voiced it in appropriate situations.

Oh, yeah, 100%.

I've never done it at a funeral No.

No. Oh, I can't even…

This was definitely a funeral and he attended the funeral. They left the funeral early to go back to like make the food So like he was even at the funeral. He knew the dead guy and still thought this was the right thing to say.

It's insane.

I mean, I can't say anything because I come from a family where we have incredibly dark sense of humor. And I've said some really inappropriate things In our own family funerals, like we will joke about our deceased And we know that when our time is up, the rest of the family will be doing without us.

You're getting roasted. Yeah.

Yeah, no, but

But that's family. This is some random dude from Eugene, Oregon who flew in to just make it. Really awkward. Really awkward.

I don't get so much the awkward conversations. I get like the people tell me like. Like the random, like I'm thinking of quitting my job or, you know, I never loved my husband. I'm like, wait, what? Hi, what's your name again? We just met. That's the that was the step.

Okay, yeah. I've gotten stories along those lines. I've gotten awkward stories. I've gotten weird stories i've got But people will just walk up to me and tell me.

Yep.

Things about their life. And what never having done the reverse of that, never having walked up to a stranger and just like unburdened my soul for them. I don't understand. No, no.

Well, we don't unburden. In general, so that's not going to be our MO anyway.

As the parentified eldest daughter, we don't unburden.

No, I would also say that

Yeah, I think also and along the lines of people just coming up to us.

This is where we differ.

I have people and we're starting to get to know each other. So let's say we just met and we're starting to build and maybe it's like the second time we've talked on the phone or something like that. And people will just say things. And followed up with it i'm normally don't feel comfortable enough to open up to people But I feel I could tell you this. And it's true. I think we're you know open people and we can listen to pretty much anything. But when you get that a lot in life It's also like, what vibe am I giving off?

You start to wonder, you start to wonder, like, I will die with secrets that do not belong to me. They belong to people that I will likely never see again in my life.

100%.

Yep.

But I like it because the other side, okay, as weird as it is and the things, look, you used to be on my Facebook back when I used to write those things, the New York City subway system was my trauma daily.

Mm-hmm.

Daily. But like the other side of it is people who are like, yeah, I go out and nobody ever talks to me. And I'm like. My life is entertaining. Like I put up with the weird freakiness because it is entertaining. But also because it's like somewhat fascinating. I don't know what I would do if I just went out into the world and nobody talked to me, nobody made eye contact, nobody told me some weird random thing like nobody handed me a kid. I like…

I'd be okay with some of that. I think there's plenty on in the regular life that I would be okay. Yeah, I mean, I don't you you seem to have a magnet for like extreme weirds. I think we get some, you get some weird. Now, I've had some like random, I had a woman once standing in a checkout line. And I turned around, she goes, you have very pretty hair. I said, thank you. And I turned away and she's like, no, look, you have really pretty hair. And I look back at her and she's just staring, staring with wide eyes. Like she didn't have the wide eyes before, but now her eyes are wide and i fell Like if I didn't move real soon, that it was going to become kind of starker vibe. And I was like, okay, thank you. And I just like really quickly wrapped up whatever was going through, whatever I could in the cart and just dashed.

She rubs the lotion and lives at the bottom of the well.

No, my favorites are the ones that try to touch you. As a person with hair that people gravitate toward?

Oh.

And…

In fairness, we know that's an entire different episode, but my obsession with your hair is It's an entire thing.

They don't even ask if they can. They just start to reach out their hand and try to No. No lo toques. No lo toques por favor.

Nope.

Don't judge me. What I… Mine is generally men who are six feet tall. And if the listeners can't hear the very heavy air quotes around six feet tall they're like five, four if they're an inch. My existing at six foot and over for them is just some kind of height challenge they put their hand on the top of their head And then they put like an angular salute a foot and a half up and they're like, we're the same height. Look at us. What do you think? You're tall? I'm like… I don't think medical professionals with measuring tapes have confirmed that I am significantly taller than you.

I have eyeballs.

It starts this like it starts this

Like, first of all how how is your personal height a challenge to them? Like what about

Well, they'll be like, well, how tall are you? I'm like, I'm six, two. Well, you can't be six, two. I'm six foot. I'm like. Sir, I could bounce you like a basketball. You are… You're a pocket rocket at best. On a good day, if two of you stood on top of each other, you would top at 5.8. Like, why would you ask if you didn't want to ask You couldn't possibly be like Did you see me here minding my business? Like, short king, go away. Tall people don't want to talk to you ever. And then somebody else inevitably chimes in with like, I have a tall niece. She plays basketball. Do you know her?

Crazy men.

Yes, I'll talk to you. We're a secret community and we all know each other. You're right you're right.

It's like being from, yes, all tall people know each other. All people from a different country people from a different country know each other. We have meetings If you're six foot and above, there are meetings.

Yeah. But there is that's the funny thing, right?

Do you know, once I was in Traff?

There is an organization

Technically there is, and I did walk into it once by accident. But I will say one day we were in the Lincoln Tunnel, like trying to get out and there was a car like three ahead of us that had a Canadian license plate. And I don't know why, but I was like, oh, my God, I think that's like Carl. And everybody in the car was like, I'm like. The car with Canadian license plate. I think that's Carl. And everybody in the car was like. You do all know each other. I'm like. No. No. No, we don't. But like… Everybody in the car was like, oh my God, it's true. All Canadians know each other. I was like, oh my God.

Oh, my God. But also, can we bring up the point that a little while ago, Busy said I was right and it's in HD.

So.

That's fine. I mean, you can keep that moment. Please put it on the We can make it a yearly honorary moment of silence.

I'm listening when you're right. You're acting like I never say this. I forever am talking about everything you know And what you teach us, why are you making it sound like I'm some person over? What are you trying to say to our listeners

One time in a group chat with a few other people, I texted busy is right. And the response back was like, does she have you at weapon point? Like, why would you say that?Why would you ever say that?

It was not that dramatic. You are building up You are building something up that is a lot.

We can post the text chain.

Find it first, but yeah.

No.
I'm pretty sure I screenshotted it for like… We dare to say somebody's right and everybody else is like, have you been kidnapped? Like, is something going wrong? Did she bribe you? Why would you ever say that?

It's true. The second time really did seem to be off-putting to everybody.

BLink twice.

It was about a specific topic, I believe. Thank you, Red.

It was about a specific topic.

See tall girls trying to make it seem like I have no allowances for people being right. I have many allowances for people being right. It was a specific topic And I can't remember what it was. But it did happen. And you were like.

You have no idea what it was about, but now I'm going to have to go back and find it.

Oh, I know. As soon as we finished recording this, you know we're both going to be like scrambling to look through.
As of our June 11th conversation. Here's the geolocation.
A
nd like… Yeah, here's a screenshot. Here's a video She was in this state of mind. It was a cold day on a Wednesday. So do we have any other? Items of people and their things that they do that makes zero sense.

No, I think we figured it out. And I think, honestly, the world should thank us for solving this conversation and Whatever amount of time.

Whatever gets edited done by

15:32:43 All right. And that's a wrap on today's episode of Sense, Sensibility, and Chaos. Join us next week when we take on another topic with our signature mix of sense, sensibility And of course, chaos.

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