Tallgirl6234: welcome to sense, sensibility, and chaos, where we navigate life's weirdest moments with varying levels of grace, and sometimes none at all.

BusySomethings: I'm busy, meticulously prepared for every social situation, yet somehow still managing to overthink every interaction. For the next 10 years.

WellReadHead: I'm well read. I have thoroughly researched etiquette, body, language, and social norms, and yet still have the reflexes of a raccoon caught in headlights when things go off script.

Tallgirl6234: And I'm tall girl, an expert in talking my way out of awkward moments, mainly because I seem to be a magnet for those moments.

BusySomethings: Today's episode is all about navigating those mortifying, uncomfortable, and completely avoidable, yet somehow inevitable, awkward moments.

WellReadHead: So whether you've accidentally sent a text to the wrong person, blanked on someone's name for the 50th time or committed a social crime, you didn't even know existed. We've got you covered.

Tallgirl6234: Let's unpack the cringe.

WellReadHead: Hi! Everybody!

BusySomethings: Hey! Ladies!

WellReadHead: How are we doing.

BusySomethings: I mean awkward.

WellReadHead: Oh, it's.

BusySomethings: Happened.

Tallgirl6234: It's on theme.

BusySomethings: Morning. I'm right.

WellReadHead: On brand and on theme, glad to hear it.

BusySomethings: Yeah.

Tallgirl6234: Thank you for committing to the bit.

BusySomethings: I I there's no other way I would want to go through this.

WellReadHead: Absolutely not.

WellReadHead: It always helps to have that extra anxiety when you're talking about things that make you anxious.

BusySomethings: Yes, cause my anxiety should have anxiety.

WellReadHead: Yeah.

Tallgirl6234: And be awesome, not alone.

BusySomethings: No.

Tallgirl6234: It's not alone.

WellReadHead: Except sleep for 8 hours. You can't leave that unsupervised. It needs a buddy. It needs a friend.

WellReadHead: Everybody needs a friend.

BusySomethings: I think, a good starting place, accidental text mishaps.

WellReadHead: I am paranoid.

WellReadHead: legitimately paranoid about texting the wrong person. Even if I deliberately choose someone's name in my phone text them, I will go back later and check to make sure that I texted the right person and not the another person.

WellReadHead: Yes, yes, I am obsessive and paranoid

WellReadHead: in that regard because I have seen too many, too many things go wrong.

Tallgirl6234: So one time.

BusySomethings: It may.

Tallgirl6234: I had had a sleepover, and I was leaving.

Tallgirl6234: and the guy texted me, Have a good day.

Tallgirl6234: and somebody else had texted me. How was it?

Tallgirl6234: And I sent a review of the Sleepover, to the guy and I.

WellReadHead: A day.

Tallgirl6234: Hope you have a good day, too, to the review requester.

BusySomethings: Oh, my God!

WellReadHead: Yeah, that's my nightmare.

Tallgirl6234: I just turned off my phone like I saw him writing back, and I saw what I had written to him, and I was like. I turned my phone off for the rest of the day. I was just like, No, no phone off.

BusySomethings: Wait, wait! Hold on! Hold on!

BusySomethings: What was the review? Was it in his favor or not?

WellReadHead: Going with not.

BusySomethings: Oh!

Tallgirl6234: Look, it was a solid 54%, mostly based on effort.

BusySomethings: Okay.

Tallgirl6234: But like I don't think most people expect to say good morning and then hear a very

Tallgirl6234: performance. Very, honest feedback.

BusySomethings: Listen to me.

Tallgirl6234: Restaurant. You give the chef the review as he brings you the amuse-bouche, like.

WellReadHead: Hmm.

BusySomethings: Hi Wayne.

Tallgirl6234: So they're home for the Yelp Review, I I mean, at least I wasn't on premises when I texted him, but like

Tallgirl6234: I was one. That was one of those moments where I was just like.

Tallgirl6234: just turn your phone off. I think I messaged you guys like phone broken or like left phone at home

Tallgirl6234: like, message me online today. I didn't tell you why, but it was like.

BusySomethings: I didn't turn my phone back on for at least 12 hours.

BusySomethings: Wait! Did you break it down into categories like enthusiasm?

WellReadHead: Oh, come on, it's her! Of course she did.

Tallgirl6234: Like. We know that I auto dictate 90% of my messages. So like while walking to the 4 or 5,

Tallgirl6234: but there was at least 2 blocks of non-punctuated.

BusySomethings: Word, vomit.

Tallgirl6234: Tips and suggestions.

BusySomethings: Oh! With hints and and tips.

WellReadHead: You know you made his next encounter

WellReadHead: a little bit more awkward, but a little bit more informed.

BusySomethings: Did you ever talk to him again.

WellReadHead: I'm gonna don't know.

Tallgirl6234: It ended up with a Give me a second chance, and there was improvement.

WellReadHead: Hello!

Tallgirl6234: It became like a, it became a solid 61%. But like

Tallgirl6234: he is in life a d student.

Tallgirl6234: I mean, like onboarded it, but also like

Tallgirl6234: I think, that's like the worst one that I've ever done.

BusySomethings: Okay, that's that's I don't have anything that close.

BusySomethings: I feel like I'm slacking. Then, like.

WellReadHead: No, I've seen other people do really embarrassing things, or like really screwed up things.

BusySomethings: But I've never no, not to that level, not to her level. Listen. I've had someone.

Tallgirl6234: Goes to my level, and I don't even try.

BusySomethings: No, that is true. The other day one of our acquaintances reached out to me. It's like, Hey, do I need for tomorrow for work. I'm bringing the laptop this, this and this. Do you think that's okay? And I said, I have no clue.

BusySomethings: but it sounds good to me, and she liked it. And then I was writing back. I think you have the wrong person. And then she looked at who she she's like, oh, my God! I'm so sorry I'm like, no, that's fine. I just didn't want you going to your job.

BusySomethings: She had to go to the office and having the wrong information, but that is like minor like I do that, too, like I'll you know. I think I'm messaging red, and I'm messaging tall or something like that, but nothing like

BusySomethings: a performance review.

BusySomethings: That's a good one.

Tallgirl6234: I also feel like, because they're so socially awkward, and my brain protects me. I'm sure you remember awkward situations that I don't, because my brain

Tallgirl6234: like we've talked about the creepy waiter when Read and I went for sushi, and at the funeral, when somebody wanted to climb me like a sequoia.

Tallgirl6234: But.

WellReadHead: That's socially awkward.

Tallgirl6234: Trying to get you a stalker on our podcast.

WellReadHead: Yes.

Tallgirl6234: She lives at 1, 2, 3, Mockingbird Lane.

Tallgirl6234: She keeps the key under her mat second bedroom. Mother left.

BusySomethings: That is a bit weird.

WellReadHead: Gross.

BusySomethings: Do you ever experience embarrassment from hearing about other people's stories?

WellReadHead: Oh, yeah.

BusySomethings: That's that's 1.

WellReadHead: I get secondhand embarrassment a lot.

BusySomethings: Yes.

WellReadHead: A lot. There are certain TV shows I can't watch because of secondhand embarrassment.

BusySomethings: TV shows reading a book, hearing stories about people who are friends of friends who I don't even know.

BusySomethings: I don't know them. We know of each other, but I've never met. We don't talk and hearing things that have happened to them. I've just hearing the story term beet red.

BusySomethings: because I'm like, Oh, my God!

WellReadHead: Oh, yeah.

BusySomethings: I feel so bad for them.

BusySomethings: you know. Sometimes it's their own doing, sometimes it's happened to them, and I'm just like, Oh, no, no, please don't.

Tallgirl6234: We know that I don't pay attention to names.

BusySomethings: Correct.

Tallgirl6234: A lot of people tell me stuff. So I know, like the the interesting points of the story like this person did this and this, and they're stealing from the company, and whatever

Tallgirl6234: I very often halfway through, like group dinners, are like, Oh, is that?

Tallgirl6234: Is that like? Is that the Jill you've been telling me about for 6 years like that's stealing paper clips office. Jill.

Tallgirl6234: Yeah.

Tallgirl6234: then, like I get so awkward at the table because in my head I'm like, Oh, my God, you're Satan, but like and then I try to think about controlling my face, which makes it twice as awkward, so like.

BusySomethings: So wait. Let me make sure I'm understanding this. You might go out with a friend named by one of their coworkers that you've been hearing them talk about for however long, and they did not give you the heads up to who the person is.

Tallgirl6234: I think they assume that my brain can handle information and stores it well. So they're like, Yeah, Jill, the coworker.

Tallgirl6234: who, like, you know, puts cans of tuna fish in her bra. Every day

Tallgirl6234: I heard cans of tuna fish, Jill, Bra the rest my brain was just like this is unimportant information and discards like I empty a recycling bin on my desktop every day

Tallgirl6234: my brain holds what I find interesting. There's a woman who puts tuna in her bra.

Tallgirl6234: That was the important part to me, Jill, the location, the coworker, that she might be at a dinner with us. My brain was like none of this matters to me whatsoever. So very often in the middle of situations. I'm like

Tallgirl6234: you're tuna. Oh.

BusySomethings: See, I'm gonna blame the friend who did not give you a rundown, because we all know if that was in my situation you would be getting beforehand. Hey, this is Jill. Here's what I've talked to you about. This is what we don't bring up. This is what we avoid.

BusySomethings: and don't look at her.

BusySomethings: You know her shoulders. She's weird about her tennis arm or something, whatever it is like. Don't point this out.

BusySomethings: Don't ask about this in her life. Don't ask about, you know generic topics that might send her into a panic. We don't want to hear about it, so I blame the friend for not giving you a review rundown.

BusySomethings: because.

Tallgirl6234: Not. Everybody runs on your level of index cards in pre-event notifications. It would be lovely if they did like. This is Tim, and Tim is sleeping with Jim, but Jim is also used to date. Sally and Sally is now dating like

Tallgirl6234: it would be great if, before walking into social situations. We got those heads up very often. People forget.

BusySomethings: See, I think it's important. But you know big shock here, I want to make sure that we're all in the best situation for each other, so that might also include the coworker who's coming, because maybe they're going through a bad divorce.

BusySomethings: and

BusySomethings: maybe, you know, we don't really want to talk about that, but like yes, if she brings it up, listen and talk, but don't. So it goes for both ways, you know. Sometimes it's just to give you like. Hey! Here are the dots. Let me help reconnect them for you right before you have to in engage with the dot. But also, hey? that.is going through some stuff. Let's not talk about this.

BusySomethings: Wow, okay, wait. Is there really someone in your past life who had someone carrying tuna cans in their bra. That's the bigger question I have right now.

Tallgirl6234: They had those. Remember when I want to say schooner tuna, and that's not it. There used to be those little snack cans of tuna.

WellReadHead: Starkist.

BusySomethings: Yeah.

Tallgirl6234: Her office was like one of these tech startups that had a lot of like food, and this was during like Atkins, when there was like a lot of beef jerky, and whatever they had, those little cans of tuna, and she, I guess, was bringing them home as like free food.

BusySomethings: But she would.

Tallgirl6234: Stuff him in her bra, and she had like when a shirt's a little bit thinner, you kind of see, like the line of the bra.

Tallgirl6234: so she had a thin bra and a thin shirt, and you could just see these like tuna can lumps.

Tallgirl6234: but she would like steal them at lunch, but then like would walk around for an hour or 2, I guess, forgetting, or didn't get back to her office. So she just had these lumps of cans of tuna in her bra for a couple hours, and then it was like.

Tallgirl6234: Okay, I mean, tuna. Was. It was more of a question of like.

Tallgirl6234: Did you alter the the tuna with your 98 degree body heat, like.

BusySomethings: We didn't. Just okay. See? Now, I have more questions. Why not? Just take them back to your desk, put them in your purse like a normal person.

Tallgirl6234: Why not stay until 6 o'clock? Just stay until 6, when everybody else has left, and clean it out before the cleaners come in to do the restock every night, nobody would know.

Tallgirl6234: It's see, this is the problem, because my brain is like, Oh, you're the person. I have questions. And then the entire meal is just me trying to contain my natural I have questions.

BusySomethings: Okay.

Tallgirl6234: Like talk to me about why, you haven't thought of a padded bra, or if you're a B cup wearing a d cup to work, and, like, you know, making it a full papoosh kind of.

BusySomethings: The boobs then, because then the boobs would be up. You might not have the can, and like I don't know why. I'm right now like pushing up my own bra, as if people could see me doing this. But, like, put it underneath, so that you don't have

BusySomethings: tuna cans.

WellReadHead: Something that'll cause both of you to have questions.

WellReadHead: If you have tuna in your bra right now

WellReadHead: right now I have never had tuna in my bra, but I have had cans in my bra before.

BusySomethings: I've had cameras.

Tallgirl6234: I mean, I I've had keys, and I've had my phone, and I've had.

BusySomethings: Listen, go into concerts.

BusySomethings: You know you can't bring stuff in.

BusySomethings: You know you, you.

WellReadHead: You find ways to do it.

BusySomethings: If we have to have these as women, let's make the best of them. And that means we're gonna have a small bodega in our in our cups.

WellReadHead: And the Brahcket, as my cousin calls them.

BusySomethings: What did she do?

Tallgirl6234: The brahcket, the brahcket.

WellReadHead: I like that patent pending.

BusySomethings: Yeah. And you just put in yeah.

BusySomethings: alright. So I think you mentioned. Excuse me also, tall girl, about how you forget names.

Tallgirl6234: All the time

Tallgirl6234: I will remember what you wear. What you say to me like names don't stick in my brain.

Tallgirl6234: I don't- like once your name finally does stick. I'm good, which is probably why I keep on trying to use your real names in this podcast instead of

Tallgirl6234: it's just, it's a thing about my brain, I think, because I'm remembering so many other details. When I meet you.

Tallgirl6234: I- like the last thing that goes in because I can get away with not calling you Tom.

Tallgirl6234: I can function in a world where I can yell like Hey, you fire! I can get away with not knowing your name, 98% of the time

Tallgirl6234: knowing that you're a psychopath or you're a pocket Pincher, or, like, you know that you have a weird skin condition. I don't want to sit next to you in a conference like these are infinitely more interesting, like data points for me to have than your name.

Tallgirl6234: and because there's like 12 names, and everybody has the same stupid 12 names, it becomes even less important to me.

Tallgirl6234: Okay, knowing I should never let you walk me to my car at night

Tallgirl6234: that that ranks higher in my brain than like Jim.

BusySomethings: How about you? Red.

WellReadHead: Yeah, I I also forget people's names, but I've gotten better about that. I

WellReadHead: heard once that if you repeat the name 3 times in the 1st conversation. It'll stick with you.

BusySomethings: Yep.

WellReadHead: So I try to do that, even though it's a little bit weird. It's a little bit awkward. But I do try to make the name stick as well as I possibly can, because.

WellReadHead: as we all know, I will avoid them like the plague, if I can't remember their name.

BusySomethings: And I'll be up.

BusySomethings: I'm the weirdo, probably of the group that while. Yes.

BusySomethings: I I think I'm decent. Remember names.

WellReadHead: You're insane with remembering who the F. Everybody is. Man.

BusySomethings: Okay.

BusySomethings: Yes.

Tallgirl6234: Not just a name, but the name, origin. How many great ancestors had this name? What was the inspiration or the song that inspired your parents to think of the name list? Where was the name on the name list? Was it like Number 4? And why didn't they choose number One?

BusySomethings: I think you've given the listeners this idea that I'm just sitting here mapping out every and all things.

WellReadHead: You don't do it consciously, but you do do it.

Tallgirl6234: Show us. Show the listeners the notes on your phone that you have on just one person.

BusySomethings: Shut up!

BusySomethings: I hate you! With a deep-rooted passion.

Tallgirl6234: Because we know you.

BusySomethings: Well, listen sometimes. Okay, here are the notes that I have for people. We're gonna make this awkward. Let's do it. So usually, I like to try and list anyone's allergies.

BusySomethings: Like to food allergies to medications. Those are important. So God forbid! One of you. Broads

BusySomethings: passes out when I'm with you. I want to make sure I could tell the medics and the doctors. Hey? This trick is allergic to insert here.

BusySomethings: So yes, that stuff I will put I might put favorite

BusySomethings: things that you like in your life.

BusySomethings: Movies, songs, stuff of that nature. Or if something.

BusySomethings: And I'm waiting for tall girls face to like. Light up. As I say this, if there's something that you've been looking for, or something that brings you joy or something that you haven't been able to find in forever. I will make a note of stuff like that. So yes, I do keep notes on people not in like some creepy, stalker way, but in a.

WellReadHead: Considerate way.

Tallgirl6234: No, it's never stalkery. It like it is. If you take my note out of your phone, I'll know we're forever done, and I will cry about that.

Tallgirl6234: No, no, like it's comforting.

Tallgirl6234: No.

BusySomethings: Parents. Names I sometimes will list like, and some people I have like their closest friends and their kids names, so that I make sure I can remember the correct name when we're talking about them. So yes, I keep notes about people to try and help

BusySomethings: keep the important information accessible. Accessible. Excuse me for me to get to which we.

Tallgirl6234: How we are different is. I was once reading a book where the character's name was Bettina.

Tallgirl6234: and one of my friends introduced me to her new friend, and I think her name was something like Kathy, Carol.

WellReadHead: But you called her Bettina.

Tallgirl6234: I don't know why, but I did call her Bettina, and then it kind of became a thing like I didn't mean to, and by the end of summer somebody had actually bought her one of those little keychain license plates, and they had had a customized Bettina. I'm no longer friends with the original introducer, or this Chick Carol, Kathy whatever. To this day. Her Facebook has her 1st name, brackets Bettina last name, and people call her Bettina.

BusySomethings: See, I will do that, too. I'm not.

BusySomethings: I'm pretty good with names, but I'm not, you know, perfect, obviously. But I also have no problem flat out, saying.

BusySomethings: I'm sorry. You know. I know you've told me this 3 times. I'm just not catching it.

BusySomethings: Or did you say red or bread, and I'm going to ask someone. And I said, and I'll tell them, listen, if I screw this up. Please correct me because I want to make sure I get your name right, because it is your name, and also with pronunciations. I would be the same way people go. You can no tell me your name. It is your name. It is important to you, and you're you know who you are.

BusySomethings: so let me get it right.

BusySomethings: but if I forget, I will. I have no problem falling the sword

BusySomethings: in addition, though, if it is going to be awkward, if we were in a group.

BusySomethings: and and I turn to one of you, and I give you a look. I expect you to to understand that I'm about to do something, and I need you to roll with it, because I'm going to come up to the the new person, or the person whose name I can't remember and be like. Oh, this is my friend, tall and red, and then I'm hoping that that person will say, Hey, I am, Bob, and then I can remember that I need you to to be locked in when I do stuff like that.

WellReadHead: Have I ever not been.

BusySomethings: No, I'm just making sure. So now we have an audio record.

WellReadHead: An audio pact.

BusySomethings: That's right. And audience. I need you to keep her accountable, but

BusySomethings: that is, I think that's what I do. When I can't remember the name

BusySomethings: it I will introduce someone I am with, or if I see there's someone with them who I've definitely have never met, I'll say, Oh.

BusySomethings: Hi! My name is busy, and then they'll say.

BusySomethings: you know what their name is to try to help make it move along.

Tallgirl6234: I give people nicknames.

BusySomethings: Oh, they get nicknames, too. Don't get me wrong. I am the amount of nicknames I have from

BusySomethings: all different of my, you know, my different friend groups, and you know, different parts of education and like organizations, all yet plenty of different multiple nicknames from multiple people.

BusySomethings: Many.

BusySomethings: But I also know the the real name.

WellReadHead: I mean, I think

WellReadHead: I know mnemonics help trying to remember people's names, too, if you or alliteration just a couple more suggestions there.

Tallgirl6234: Like your real name.

WellReadHead: There, but.

Tallgirl6234: Is like Aaron, but ever since I heard a little comedy sketch about a A-Aron.

Tallgirl6234: It does not matter. Somebody. I know your name. Somebody repronounced your name

Tallgirl6234: in a certain way. Every time I think of your name I think of the mispronunciation, and then I have to correct myself like in my brain, and in those 2 seconds, because the mispronunciation of your name is so much more fun for my brain. So it's like A-Aaron, Aaron.

WellReadHead: That's fair.

Tallgirl6234: Everybody's brain works differently.

Tallgirl6234: We know this. My brain is fundamentally just.

WellReadHead: Like reading, fundamental.

Tallgirl6234: It's true.

Tallgirl6234: and yet I can remember characters, names like no problem, because, like the characters, matter more to me than people.

WellReadHead: It's a different part of your brain. Different part of your brain.

Tallgirl6234: Gilbert Blythe, for life.

WellReadHead: So we're.

BusySomethings: Well hold that moment.

BusySomethings: We have a moment for Gil.

WellReadHead: What about when your brain decides to make the situation worse?

Tallgirl6234: All the time. It's a snowball effect. I can't just stop it like mild embarrassment. I have to dial it up to a thousand.

WellReadHead: No.

BusySomethings: Wait, let me let me clarify. Do you mean worse in the sense that you mispronounce their name?

BusySomethings: And it you just keep your mouth keeps going because you can't stop, or you mispronounce a name. But then, in your mind you're having a whole like spirals that no one is aware of. But you.

WellReadHead: Could be. Both could be, either, I think, when you're spiraling on the inside, the mistakes tend to come to the outside

WellReadHead: regardless.

WellReadHead: So if you mispronounce somebody's name and they correct you.

WellReadHead: and then you mispronounce it again, and they give you that look.

BusySomethings: Like, why can't you remember this.

WellReadHead: Like. Why can't you remember this? Yep, it's simple simple name, simple name, Ann Ahn.

WellReadHead: Can't possibly mispronounce it any other way. But I'm still going to do it.

WellReadHead: and I start to spiral as a result of the fact that I am still going to mispronounce it because

WellReadHead: my brain doesn't want to accept the real pronunciation, for whatever reason.

Tallgirl6234: I am a thing that as a grown up I'm not a grown up. I'm really not. I'm grown up shaped at best, and that's.

WellReadHead: Oh, yeah.

BusySomethings: Whoever thought we should be. The new adults was really high at the time, because I

BusySomethings: think this is just shenanigans.

Tallgirl6234: But when adults, I'm not supposed to look at your misspelled neck tattoo, and like make a facial reaction.

Tallgirl6234: I, as an adult, have 2 eyes, and occasionally I know how to spell words that are incorrectly spelled on your neck. Face, tattoo, and yet I.

WellReadHead: You have no Poker, face.

Tallgirl6234: I have okay at work. I can actually poke her face. But on the inside I am literally screaming to myself, don't move a muscle. Not one.

WellReadHead: Yeah, I agree with that.

Tallgirl6234: Like. I need so much Botox like. If I was ever in a higher corporate field, I would just have to have like late eighties, early nineties, Botox, where, like nothing moved.

Tallgirl6234: But even then, apparently, my eyes, like even with a covid mask, people are like your eyes, are more.

WellReadHead: Are very expressive, yes.

BusySomethings: I I look, I have too much emotion.

BusySomethings: I have to be like really working, or it has to be a situation where

BusySomethings: I know I have to shut it down.

Tallgirl6234: Hmm.

BusySomethings: But.

Tallgirl6234: Oh, but like in an everyday situation.

Tallgirl6234: you have a face tattoo that's misspelled, and I'm not supposed to comment on it because I'm a grownup, and we're not allowed to look, and we're not about like- I need 5 seconds.

Tallgirl6234: I need for the count of 5 to just look at it. Let my brain handle what the hell is going on here, and then I can move on. But instead, I am spending 90% of my brain resources on, That is not how you spell freedom. It's not how you spell freedom. There's no x in freedom

Tallgirl6234: anywhere, no variation of the word freedom has an X in it.

Tallgirl6234: And then the other 10% of my brain is just like, so tell me about how your wife's cheating on you, because I can't stop that thought from coming through. So like.

Tallgirl6234: So I'm thinking about the shades of foundation I have in my purse. And maybe I could just correct this while we're standing here like, what are the odds? He's going to let me put cover up on him to grammatically correct the errors on his face. Tattoo.

Tallgirl6234: Whatever comes out next is usually like

Tallgirl6234: like the number of people who walk up to me, and you can tell how freaked out they are about my height, and how much they want to ask about my height. And instead of just asking, like, How tall are you? Because we're not supposed to ask that question.

Tallgirl6234: They come up, and you've seen it with the weirdest questions on the planet, and I'm like it would have just been so much better if I could have just told you I am 6 feet 2, like

Tallgirl6234: we could have been done with this whole situation if you had just asked the front question in your head and mine would have been, can I correct the tattoo on your face?

BusySomethings: Alright I mean.

Tallgirl6234: I Mean. It's not embarrassing, but you've you've witnessed it.

BusySomethings: Oh, yeah, no, you are a magnet like I don't understand. I still I will never. And I will probably say this multiple times as we record. I will never understand

BusySomethings: how of the 3 of us you are the quietest and

BusySomethings: more reserved if it needs to be.

BusySomethings: But you just have like

BusySomethings: there could be us and one other person, and they are, gonna say, some weird bonkers thing, just you.

BusySomethings: It's always you. It's always like you have a magnet.

Tallgirl6234: You guys have been standing next to me. They had a pick of all 3 of us. They could have said anything to

Tallgirl6234: go with you.

WellReadHead: Seeking missile of just like.

Tallgirl6234: It's like, Oh, well, what's your most awkward situation? I'm like every single day. Sometimes I don't even have to leave the house. It just comes in via zoom like it.

Tallgirl6234: There is no situation that isn't.

BusySomethings: I don't know you're paying for some kind of karma in life.

Tallgirl6234: I mean, look, my life could be boring. So I look at it like some people leave the house. Nobody sees them, nobody talks to them. Nobody interacts with them. So I'm like, Okay, at least my outside life is entertaining and reaffirming that I don't need the most therapy in the room.

Tallgirl6234: But some of y'all really need to just

Tallgirl6234: duct tape like wear a Covid mask, because but like duct tape under the mask to just stop.

Tallgirl6234: You guys are twisted.

BusySomethings: Do you ghost people, if you've had bad situations.

Tallgirl6234: All the time.

BusySomethings: We we learned about, you know, Sleepover arrangement.

Tallgirl6234: 54%, yeah.

BusySomethings: And how how do you

BusySomethings: do, you Irish? Goodbye! Do you just stop replying to text till it's just they should get it through their head.

Tallgirl6234: I don't. Irish goodbye in social settings, like if it's a club and like, you know, you're hosting a New Year's Eve party, do I feel the need to walk up to you and be like, Okay, I'm leaving now. No.

Tallgirl6234: if it's a party at your house, I will never Irish ghost like I know a lot of people do, but I'll just be like, Oh, it's 5 o'clock. I'm going home. Have a nice day like I don't need to be the last one at the party.

Tallgirl6234: I think ghosting sometimes is more polite, because even when you try to like politely exit with some people, they're not interested in letting you exit so like at a certain point.

WellReadHead: Or at least exit politely.

Tallgirl6234: Like. I mean, I've had friendships that peter out, because, like, you know, people just whatever. And it's like you never officially say, like, we're no longer going to be friends. You kind of just stop talking for one reason or another

Tallgirl6234: weirdly when they text you back like 4 years later, you're like, why, but

Tallgirl6234: yeah, I think there's just some things that kind of like Peter out over time, and that's acceptable, not related to dating. But I think sometimes like some people just won't accept a goodbye. So like

Tallgirl6234: I have no choice but ghosting.

BusySomethings: What about you? Red.

WellReadHead: If I have reached a certain emotional point, I will, ghost.

WellReadHead: I have to be pushed to an extreme

WellReadHead: in order to do it. Especially if

WellReadHead: there's a longstanding relationship there. But most of the time I I try to

WellReadHead: be a big girl and say, listen this, especially when dating. This isn't

WellReadHead: what I was looking for. This isn't working out. This is not

WellReadHead: a situation I want to be in.

WellReadHead: Yeah, I try to use my big girl words whenever possible. But it isn't always possible.

BusySomethings: I think. No, I've seen you, I think, for you especially. What usually is. The determining factor

BusySomethings: is when you've tried. You've used your word. And you said, Hey, this is.

BusySomethings: you know, either. You know, we're having communication issues. This isn't working for me.

BusySomethings: You're not respecting boundaries. The boundaries is a big thing for you.

WellReadHead: And boundaries and respect. Yeah.

BusySomethings: Healthy, respectable boundaries.

WellReadHead: If I feel disrespected. That's it.

BusySomethings: And so I think for you. I've seen situations when you've explained to person A hey

BusySomethings: we're having. I'm not, you know. This is not working, or just because we're friends doesn't mean you have complete

BusySomethings: access to me at all hours, just because

BusySomethings: you want it, or I pre, you know. Thank you, for. It's nice that you have

BusySomethings: and feel affection towards me. It is not reciprocated.

BusySomethings: I would like to still be friends, they say yes, but then they still make it weird. So I have seen you like, just like, finally, just been like, All right, you don't want to hear what I'm saying. You don't want to respect my boundaries.

BusySomethings: we're done so.

WellReadHead: That's me to a T.

Tallgirl6234: Also like on a society level, somewhere between, like tinder grindr, whatever like left unread societally, I think it's more accept like

Tallgirl6234: when we were younger. You couldn't just kind of go somebody in the same way, because usually somebody in your friend's circle knew them. You were inevitably going to end up at a party with them like it was highly unusual that if you lived in New Jersey you were dating somebody in Michigan like that was just not. And now in this, like online world, it's just like, there's this kind of like, Hi, we talked for 4 days and then never again, kind of thing or like.

Tallgirl6234: yeah, I figured out what narrative you're looking for here. I'm out

Tallgirl6234: like I had a friend recently who, just you know, their narrative was, everybody abandons me, and that's not actually true. But we don't talk anymore, because that's the narrative you wanted, and congratulations like

Tallgirl6234: you got what you wanted. I'm not interested in engaging anymore.

BusySomethings: I had a friend once, and

BusySomethings: just completely dropped me and it and it was I came to find out later from an a mutual

BusySomethings: that the friend her mother was going through some illness.

BusySomethings: and I guess she hadn't told me so. I was unaware.

BusySomethings: So you know, like that was.

BusySomethings: instead of just saying, Hey, my mother is going through a health problem right now. I don't have time. She just completely stopped talking.

BusySomethings: and I think some like, I understand. Obviously you have to do what you have to do for your own point.

BusySomethings: but also being adults and just saying to someone else, I don't have the bandwidth

BusySomethings: right now to talk to people, and we've done it to each other. We've done it to other friends, said, Hey, right now my life is upside down.

BusySomethings: If I'm a little quiet, that's because I'm going through some stuff, but

BusySomethings: I think it's just a it makes it less awkward. If you could just use communication.

WellReadHead: 100%.

Tallgirl6234: It's also emotional maturity, like the traumatic friends we had when we were younger. Like as we get older, and as our lives get busier. I think some people have been collectively kind of been voted out of the friends groups because they just

Tallgirl6234: they constantly kind of trauma dump on us, or they constantly like they're the ones who call at 3 Am. With, like my emergency, like, I ran out of cat food kind of stuff like.

Tallgirl6234: like, collectively. There's usually a secondary kind of like group chat that's just like.

Tallgirl6234: And this is where we are kind of stuff. So I've seen people get excluded from groups because they they've been told

Tallgirl6234: it's been mentioned to them like somewhere in the group, text is like, and maybe we don't text an entire group of all 22 of us at 3 Am. When you have, like a kitty litter shortage.

Tallgirl6234: and when they don't get that message all of a sudden there's like girls, group part 2, and like one person has been left off of it because they're just not getting the message. So it's like a communal

Tallgirl6234: adios.

BusySomethings: See that happening.

BusySomethings: Be awkward.

WellReadHead: And then, of course, just

WellReadHead: What's the most ridiculous excuse you've ever used to leave a conversation.

BusySomethings: Oh!

Tallgirl6234: This is really terrible.

Tallgirl6234: But maybe in a bar one time.

Tallgirl6234: when this guy just wouldn't leave us alone and like kept on like, I really want to buy you a drink. I really want to buy you a drink. And I was like, No, and at some point I was like, oh, my God! You know what I think. I'm pregnant. I gotta go check. And I like literally walked into the.

Tallgirl6234: And I really was. I was trying everything nice and everything right, and I think I was like 3 or 4 drinks in at the time, and I was just like, I don't want to be gross, and I think my brain was like this will probably chase him away. So

Tallgirl6234: yeah.

BusySomethings: I think I might top you with dramatics. I was at a lounge club area, and this guy would not like. He was older, and he felt that because I had hands that meant he could just reach out and grab them. And yep, and and he was like, Why aren't? Where is your husband? Where is your husband, beautiful lady? And I said, he's 6 feet under, and I put him there.

WellReadHead: For you.

BusySomethings: He just went.

BusySomethings: His face was like, and he just did an about face, and went the other way.

WellReadHead: For you.

BusySomethings: And I wish I could say I know where that came from.

BusySomethings: But I it's crazy in my brain, so that just came out.

Tallgirl6234: I think it's like when you're pushed into a corner. You're trying to be polite, and you're trying to be polite, and then it's just like to the dude who is not getting the message.

Tallgirl6234: and also sometimes for us, Lesbian in a club like, Yeah.

BusySomethings: Yeah, but you gotta be clap. Excuse me, you have to be careful with that, too, because

BusySomethings: there are some that will be like, oh.

BusySomethings: you're a lesbian! Can I watch? No, this, damn it, I don't like you. Step off.

BusySomethings: Please find a a bit of traffic to go run in.

Tallgirl6234: I think most women's like awkward situations, are almost directly related to a guy for one reason or another, because they do.

Tallgirl6234: You're trying not to die. And you're trying not to get graped in the parking lot after leaving this environment. And you're trying to not have him blow up your career, and you're trying to not have him like Rat you out to his wife, who will get you kicked off the board or something, and like your brain is just like I was polite. I was polite, minus one, minus one. And then finally, your brain is just like.

Tallgirl6234: you know what this is. This is all I got left. I might be pregnant. I gotta go now like

Tallgirl6234: it's just I think women would be at least 53% like less awkward

Tallgirl6234: if men just didn't talk to us in public, in situations where we were clearly not interested in having to interact with them.

BusySomethings: I think it's I'm not. I wouldn't say necessarily that they don't have to talk to us. I think it's if they were aware enough, and I've had women, too, but I would say majority would be from the male perspective, saying.

BusySomethings: if they're talking to us, and they could pick up on the clues

BusySomethings: and realize that not every person is trying to play hard to get.

BusySomethings: That is not every situation just.

WellReadHead: That's rape culture. My friend.

BusySomethings: I know. But there are people, even if they're not trying to, you know.

BusySomethings: attack you. They just think that they are entitled to your time and you're talking spend.

BusySomethings: So I think that's for anyone.

BusySomethings: I don't know what any other have you had any excuses, red or the most ridiculous one.

WellReadHead: Oh.

WellReadHead: the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I can't say on this. Podcast we'd get kicked off of all of our

WellReadHead: all of our?

WellReadHead: Can you pass.

BusySomethings: Paraphrase.

BusySomethings: Or what the the gist of it was.

WellReadHead: I had someone ask me if I keep myself clean.

Tallgirl6234: Hmm. In person, or on an app.

WellReadHead: In person, asked me very specifically if I keep

WellReadHead: a very specific part of myself clean.

WellReadHead: That was my most awkward interaction.

Tallgirl6234: Like in a bar, or like on the.

WellReadHead: On the street. I was walking

WellReadHead: from the subway to my destination.

BusySomethings: And.

WellReadHead: This person put a hand on me.

Tallgirl6234: It's their 1st mistake.

WellReadHead: And asked me, Did I keep myself clean?

BusySomethings: Okay.

Tallgirl6234: It's been.

WellReadHead: I spit in his face, and I ran.

Tallgirl6234: That was that was wouldn't have wasted the saliva. But otherwise, yeah.

WellReadHead: I couldn't think of another way in the moment to get his hand off of me.

BusySomethings: Whatever's necessary. Yep.

Tallgirl6234: Oh, my God, I mean I'm used to. There was a guy who once bought my shoes. I was walking down the street.

Tallgirl6234: I was walking down the street, and the guy was like at the stopwalk, and I was with somebody. They're like, those are nice shoes.

Tallgirl6234: Got to the next crosswalk. The guy was like, those are really nice shoes, and I mean, like it was after a night out. We were not completely sober.

BusySomethings: Hello!

Tallgirl6234: By the 4th block. I was like, Buy them or leave us alone. And he was like, and he did offer to buy my shoes, and they were like kind of near one of the stalls that sells like those little flip flop things I did. I sold a pair of shoes.

Tallgirl6234: for I think it was like 50 bucks back then, and he bought me a pair of flip flops, and it was just like I

Tallgirl6234: I miss those shoes.

WellReadHead: He

BusySomethings: Oh!

WellReadHead: Loved those shoes, I'm sure.

BusySomethings: Oh!

Tallgirl6234: I was just like

Tallgirl6234: like at that point in my head. I was like, this will probably get rid of you like it. My math was like, I will get $50 and you leaving us alone because we were like 16 blocks away from where we were going.

Tallgirl6234: It was just like

Tallgirl6234: And the girl I was with is like, What are you doing? I'm like 50 bucks.

Tallgirl6234: and this creeper doesn't follow us for the next 16 blocks.

WellReadHead: Yeah, I've seen women being followed by people.

WellReadHead: and they'll just turn and scream in their face

WellReadHead: like, Take out the domination moment and.

Tallgirl6234: When we were at university, because the farthest building from our dorms freshman year the

Tallgirl6234: for this walk there was a lot of grassy area in between. My freshman dorm advisor was like, well, you know, if you ever feel like, just get down on the ground and moo.

Tallgirl6234: you know, if you hear somebody walking behind you, you know, just like, Get down on the grass and moo, and I was like, what if they like farm animals like

Tallgirl6234: this isn't always the best suggestion like this could actually end up. I'm down on all fours moving. This could get worse instead of better.

WellReadHead: Really bad.

Tallgirl6234: Like, why don't I just keep running and yell? Why was that your like to this day? It's still in my head, I'm like, why was that the 1st suggestion.

BusySomethings: Why am I? What if I am not near a grassy area like what? What?

BusySomethings: I don't even know where to rank, that I'm going to put that as not actual help.

Tallgirl6234: It's like the things people say to me that will forever stick in my head. I'm now like

WellReadHead: Rent free.

Tallgirl6234: Yes, this is how you keep freshman girls safe on the late night walk, because there were classes until 8 in that far off building on our campus, and it was a dark, grassy walk.

Tallgirl6234: but, like

Tallgirl6234: how about the school issue Grape whistles? How about we all practice? How loud we can yell, maybe, like a campus sponsored jujitsu class like

Tallgirl6234: now, just moo maybe chew some grass.

WellReadHead: Least helpful advice we've ever received.

BusySomethings: Well, that's a wrap on today's episode.

BusySomethings: Join us next time when we tackle another aspect of social survival.

Tallgirl6234: If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe, leave a review, or at least tell a friend who finds themselves cringe-worthy situations on a regular basis.

WellReadHead: Want to hear more, join us on Patreon for extra embarrassing stories, exclusive content, and behind the scenes, chaos.

BusySomethings/WellReadHead: See you next time/see you next time.

Tallgirl6234: Till then stay sensible.

BusySomethings: Or embrace the chaos.

WellReadHead: Preferably both.