Be My Mommy And My Martyr ===

Speaker: [00:00:00] Hello everyone and welcome to the Mr. Pickney and the Man Hater Show. I am your host, Reagan, AKA, the man hater. Are

Speaker 2: you,

Speaker: apparently people on the internet or I, I guess men on the internet, believe it to be true?

Speaker 3: You hate me. Why? We've been in the show for over a year now.

Speaker: I can't believe this is how it comes out.

Speaker 3: Is this the first time I listened to the words you said in the beginning?

Speaker: You know, honestly, probably it is,

Speaker 3: I'm checo the Mr. Pick, Mr. Pick's

and, uh, Mr. Pickney. But I've already been pick themed and this is our radio show.

Speaker: Why do you say radio every time?

Speaker 3: I mean, we could broadcast it

Speaker: not on the radio,

Speaker 3: probably not. How hard is that? Is that hard? Is that harder than, uh, setting up a podcast feed? Is it a tower somewhere? Can build one of those?

Yeah, let's

Speaker: just build a tower. Build a tower [00:01:00] and we'll come via the one on

Speaker 3: radio. An

Speaker: outdated form of communication.

Speaker 3: We're gonna reach a lot of older conservative men.

Speaker: Oh, they'll love us.

Speaker 3: They, that's our target demo. That's what we're shifting into.

Speaker: You know what? We need more conservative men on this podcast.

Mm-hmm. For sure. Mm-hmm. They love me. They love me. Actually, you know what they do sometimes and I don't understand it.

Speaker 3: It doesn't Yeah, because they're like, I can, I can turn her.

Speaker: I've got this one. Don't worry, Chuck. I got this one.

Speaker 3: Hey, uh, somebody asked me, uh, on, uh, on my substack the other day. They, they DMed me and they said, why do you think no men follow you?

And it was, it was like, or it was a nicer way. They were like, what? Well, they were trying to understand it. And I was like, well, if you think of it in a percentage wise, yes, I have like 90% women that follow me. But if you look at it like a, numbers wise, there's hundreds of thousands of men,

Speaker: right?

Speaker 3: That, that follow me, right?

Yeah. That's. If I only had 400,000 followers and I was like 400, and they're all men, they'd be like, wow, you really speak to men. [00:02:00] You know? Right, right. But, but because it's a percentage. So I mean, there are a, I think a lot of 'em are non-American men, I think. I think, uh, the percentage of American men that follow me, uh, are probably a small percentage, but

Speaker: shout out to any of the American boys.

Speaker 3: Yeah. Thanks for not being, not being, not sucking. Thanks for, uh, thanks that for thinking

Speaker: I'm a human. Yeah. And, you know, should have rights and

Speaker 3: understanding that I don't actually hate men either.

Speaker: Such a bizarre. Yeah. I'm like, I'm not the one to use that on. Like, I actually do have male friends. I have male, you know, mentors.

I'm like you, whatever you are,

Speaker 3: whatever,

Speaker: whatever this is.

Speaker 3: Well Reagan today, speaking of, that's a perfect segue. I wanted to have discuss a clip asking, should you be texting a boy that's not your husband?

Speaker: That sounds gross. That sounds like a child. [00:03:00]

Speaker 3: A man, did you protect other men? Men. Deep song please.

Speaker 4: You want bad advice, man?

I'll give it out. I got some good advice. You No you don't. I know you don't. I some good advice for you. No, you don't.

Speaker: So, uh, I have the unfortunate job of playing this clip. I don't know why Checo thinks I want to be sent a video from a pastor

Speaker 3: about, you need Jesus. This is my subtle way.

Speaker: You know what? You're not the only one who thinks that so.

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

Speaker 6: Should you text or be friends with people of the opposite sex if you're married.

I, I know that when we first got married and we were in ministry and we had interns and different people, and he'd be like texting them, just get things done or whatever. I'm like, you can't do that. Like we, we were trying to figure out boundaries and he was so [00:04:00] confused. He's like, but she's a really great person.

She's really nice. She loves the lord. I'm like, yeah, that's the problem. Yeah, exactly. I'm not worried about you with like

Speaker: weirdos. Oh man.

Speaker 3: It's a lot. I just, well, there's a lot of layers going unpack with that

Speaker: for our listeners, a woman speaking is a very like blonde, kind of bougie gal.

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Clearly someone who focuses on their physique.

Speaker 3: If you were gonna cast pastor's wife for Lifetime movie,

Speaker: who's, who's very, who's kind of mean?

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like the mean pastor's life

Speaker: who talks about the congregation behind their back. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3: But

Speaker: like in a, bless her heart kind of way.

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Are these people pastors?

Speaker 3: I am, I'm assuming, yes. I'm assuming there's some sort.

They're both, they're like, or higher ups in the church in some way or another.

Speaker: I can't imagine being. At a religious gathering of whatever kind this is. [00:05:00] It doesn't look like church, but hell it could be. Mm-hmm. With, you know, two leaders of the church, or four maybe, I don't know if the women are leaders as well.

Mm-hmm. And up there talking and saying like, I'm not worried about a bunch of weirdos. Like, you know, those weirdo egos. Like, oh

Speaker 3: my God, I'm worried that you're, you're gonna figure out that I am actually not that great.

Speaker: Well, it's just like, it's just so like, oh God, it's just so demeaning. Like, it's just so judgmental.

Like imagine being one of the girls that's like, he texts me all the time, like, not you, Becky. What part of that is Godly? I, I don't know. Doesn't sound to me, I don't think God is like. I love all of you except you,

Speaker 3: weirdos, except for the weirdos. All are welcome here other than you weirdo weirdos.

Speaker: It's the 13th amendment.

This does not apply to weirdos. [00:06:00]

Speaker 3: Command commandment,

Speaker: fucking weirdos. Oh

Speaker 3: God. And he came down from the, from the mountainside. It was, was outta the way weirdos. That was on the third plaque that broke. It said, no weirdos or huggos.

Speaker: Oh my God, I, I don't even know where to begin. It's like they're all agree in unison these very religious people saying, oh, well if she's nice, if she's nice and attractive, she's probably gonna steal him away.

Speaker 3: That's what's just gonna happen. You know, because it's, it's also, I think the undertone of it is because, you know that men are poor victims in this whole situation. They just can't control themselves. That when a pretty Christ-like woman who's not

Speaker: weird. No. Who's not, no weirdos,

Speaker 3: no weird meaning she has to be blonde,

Speaker: not by the Lord, but by the die.

Speaker 3: Um, that, that if she loves Christ, you know, she's [00:07:00] gonna steal your man. This is the, the constant, um. And like I said, this isn't the critique necessarily of the church. It's the critique of people that have these thoughts in the church of, of that men are never, ever guilty of anything. Yeah. It's always the, the lusting woman that is going to, uh, steal your man away or that's going to tempt, tempt him.

And, and this poor widow boy who is a grown ass man who is married, is gonna be like, I didn't know what to do. I just fell inside of her. And I was just, I was looking for the Lord. I thought she was a weirdo, but she wasn't. I thought you'd be

Speaker: okay because she was so weird this one time she tipped her fries in mayonnaise and I said, that's weird.

Speaker 3: That's weird. You wanna go back to your apartment?

Speaker: Well, the men are fucking safe with me then. Yeah. They'd be like, oh [00:08:00] God, she's a psycho. Yeah. It's just so sad like that. They're all like, oh yeah. Like you know how it is, is the idea that the only way to keep your man is to not allow him to speak to any other woman? Mm-hmm. Like it's a foregone conclusion.

Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: And also, is she religion? Is she a godly woman? Are either of them godly? Mm-hmm. If they would both have an affair because they're like, oh, I'm worried if she's a godly woman. It's like, I thought by that definition she would then not cheat. That's definitely a commandment. Or she

Speaker 3: wouldn't like attempt to like s break up a marriage.

Speaker: Right. Right.

Speaker 3: Of someone who respects and loves Right. In, in that regard. As, as in that way, no, no, no. 'cause they're impossible.

Speaker 5: Oh, they

Speaker 3: are. You are. You are built to only lust after one another if you are of the quote unquote opposite sexes.

Speaker: I've said this so many times, this is what sets up. The dynamic when we make people think that the only way to interact with other women is in a sexual way.

Mm-hmm. Like if you set that up, if you make [00:09:00] people believe that, then you sexualize all interactions with the other opposite sex. If you're straight, I guess this is where that happens the most. And so that does lead to inappropriate relationships because then people do not know how to interact with each other.

Mm-hmm. Other than. In a sexual way. Like they don't know how to, they don't know how to be friends because they're told they can't be friends and they're raised to believe that.

Speaker 3: And then they assume that if that person is all reciprocating friendship, oh, they must be into me. Yep. So the the implication, they get it, they get this little ruse we're playing, of talking about what we're going to in church.

But you know, you know how they do that, that Yeah.

Speaker: You come in with like talking about the church practice, at what time you're meeting to practice with the band.

Speaker 3: Yep.

Speaker: Next thing you know, you're in the sheets. You see the way

Speaker 3: she held that banjo. I don't know, is there banjo in church choir?

Speaker: There probably is, to be honest.

It looks a little

Speaker 3: folky. I, I didn't, the banjo was just the first instrument that came out of my,

Speaker: he looks like a banjo player. And I think both of [00:10:00] us can agree on that. It, it's not just somebody like sharing their story. It's literally. The heads of this whatever church saying mm-hmm. Like it's godly to call people weird.

It's godly to think men and women cannot interact at all or else cheating happens. They can't text at all. And like her saying, you can't text anyone, like, I'm sorry, that's not healthy. I, I don't care what your gender is. Right. Trying to control your partner in that way, saying you literally cannot have any communication like with someone of the opposite gender.

From her part it is absolutely controlling, but you. The other side would then be, has he given you reason to feel that way? Is it about him specifically? Because at the end of the day, there's either reason to feel that way or you're being controlling. Mm-hmm. Like when it comes to jealousy, either you have been given reason to feel that way, which means you should probably, I.

See a counselor or talk to them or figure that out, or you have never been given a [00:11:00] reason to be jealous, and in that case it is like borderline controlling and can lead to being abusive in some ways. Mm-hmm. Because they have not given you any reason to feel like you can't trust them yet you're punishing them as if they did.

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3: That's

Speaker: not okay from any gender to any gender.

Speaker 3: It's the, it is the weird overlap though. This is this exact, I've seen this advice given on multiple, very religious, like podcasts or shows or, or in, or social media channels that's also given on these super, uh, misogynistic, uh mm-hmm. Anti-women, like, like manipulation channels.

Mm-hmm. It's, it's, the, the overlapping circle is men and women cannot interact in a civil, platonic way. It's not possible. Wait

Speaker: if they're attractive and not weirdos.

Speaker 3: As long as they're not weirdos, of course. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yes. But that's not even that, that, that is, uh, that's an extra bonus to this one in general.

Somebody said on there, uh, hold on in the comment section right on top. I wanna read it. Uh, they [00:12:00] said,

Speaker 2: they said horn noise. I decided

Speaker 3: to use the, uh, Daniel Tiger horns as a. An announcement. I knew seven married people who would text or hang out with friends of the opposite sex. Six of them had affairs, one almost had an affair, but didn't go all the way. We're all human and need to have boundaries. A big part of being faithful isn't about having self-control, but exercising wisdom and keeping yourself outta bad situations

Speaker: wrong.

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. Wrong

Speaker: there. There, there's a quote, and unfortunately it's from Dr. Phil. Mm. I wished I had heard it, although, where would I hear like a Southern,

Speaker 5: yeah.

Speaker: You know how to, but he, his, the saying is, if you have to keep a fence around the dog to keep the dog, you probably shouldn't have the dog in the first place.

But it's this idea that. If you can't keep your partner mm-hmm. Without putting like rigid controls and boundaries mm-hmm. Around them, then you probably shouldn't be with them. Mm-hmm. And I think, [00:13:00] you know, I think I hate Dr. Phil. Yeah. But I also think that there's truth to that statement,

Speaker 3: broken clock is right twice a day.

Right. He can have occasional wisdom, uh, even though he's a horrific person.

Speaker: I know God, he's just an old country boy. Um, but yeah, I, I think. All of this is to counteract something that's very wrong. Mm-hmm. So when they're saying it's not about self-control, it's like, well, it actually is, it's about whether or not this person can control themselves.

Mm-hmm. And what their desires are. Mm-hmm. Because if they wanna cheat so bad that any non weirdo woman speaking to them would cause them to cheat. Then you really shouldn't be with them. They're not committed to you. There's so many women, I I see it a lot in women, um, that do this with men. They think if they can just set up the right controls and parameters and block this and block that and make sure they don't talk to this woman at work, when that's really not addressing what the issue is.

Mm-hmm. And it also, [00:14:00] I think, helps men not be accountable. For being not trustworthy, you know? Mm-hmm. Because it focuses entirely on the woman's ability to control the man. Mm-hmm. Versus the man's ability to not cheat. Mm-hmm. Like to not be a cheater.

Speaker 3: It's really easy not to, it, it's shockingly easy or doing

Speaker: great.

Speaker 3: Yeah. But like, I'm, I'm going to, uh, in a, in a couple weeks, I'm going to Las Vegas for a, an award show. Mm. Like my wife is, is not going to look at my phone. She's not gonna be checking up Yeah. Up on me to, to ask where I've been. Right. I'll probably, there probably will be other women there that will be at the events that I'm hanging out in.

And, you know what? I'm not gonna cheat. Like, it's not that hard. It's, I don't, it's not even the, the fact is it, I'm laughing even talking about the situation. 'cause that's, it's so, such an absurd idea.

Speaker 5: Yeah.

Speaker 3: That you would have to create all of these controls. Oh gosh. I'm,

Speaker: I'm too, oh, I'm, my face is running into her [00:15:00] face.

Yeah.

Speaker 3: Oh no, I didn't mean to do that. Uh, and like. Like the, the idea that if that were to happen in these, especially in these godly relationships, right? And these theoretically very firmly bound marriages that they, if, if he was, if her husband was leaving for a weekend to Vegas, you know, would she be losing sleep and wondering if he was gonna, probably, probably, and that's because there's, there's, there is no firm like.

Uh, basis to that relationship.

Speaker: And I think what it sets up in the short term feels comforting to women in the long term is setting them up for failure.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: In the short term, from what I've seen on these videos, but also I knew a lot of. Christian women who kind of thought this way growing up related to some mm-hmm.

That's a story from another time, but what, what they feel is like, oh, I can set these rigid boundaries for my man that I can also [00:16:00] follow. And so mm-hmm. It gives them a sense of control somewhat. Mm-hmm. They feel as if they're in control of it, and like a lot of times these men will. Either follow these or pretend to follow these.

Mm-hmm. But what happens is it then sets the standard that the woman. Is accountable, it is her job. Mm-hmm. To keep him faithful. It is her job to set up boundaries. It is up to her because the, the, uh, underlying message is men are gonna cheat. Mm-hmm. If they're given the opportunity, if they're given access to women, they can't control themselves.

So you as the woman have to put these boundaries around them. And then when these men inevitably cheat

Speaker 3: mm-hmm.

Speaker: Who gets the blame? Who's told they weren't a good enough woman,

Speaker 3: she failed, she didn't do enough, she didn't fail. She should have done more. Clearly, and then they'll find other reasons like to, uh, to, to justify it too.

Like, oh, I wasn't being as attentive to his needs. You've seen videos about them talking about that before? Yeah. Literally if you're not

Speaker: having sex with them mm-hmm. That it's your fault if they, you whenever they

Speaker 3: want. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. [00:17:00] If you, if you gained any weight after having a child, uh, don't start with me, just God.

I know. I know. That was, that was my first big viral video on, uh, on TikTok was that one. I know. Mm-hmm. It makes

Speaker: me rage and cry. The thought of, I don't think we should get into it. I like, I honestly get really upset talking about it, but like this idea that like, after. Your, especially these religious people, okay?

Mm-hmm. The miracle of childbirth after your wife has given you the greatest gift. Mm-hmm. By, by their standards, they, I mean, they talk about it all the time. Mm-hmm. In, in those terms, you then. To cheat because mm-hmm. There is evidence of the fact that she gave you a miracle, which is your child.

Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Which is what you've told her to dedicate her life to. Mm-hmm. That the fact that there's any evidence that that occurred, the proof. Mm-hmm. Like any proof on your wife's body should be treasured because it is Liv living proof of what she's done for you. Right. That's how I feel and I am [00:18:00] rageful at any man who would ever like condemn their wife's body.

After doing that.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: And I'm going to stop now.

Speaker 3: Well, it just, just one last little thing to it. Like, and I think this is a, just in case there are, are any men that are young men that are hearing this and like thinking about this like thing I, I think the. The, the, the psychosis. Psychosis, psychology.

Yeah. No, it is psychosis. Maybe it's psychosis behind it is that if her body changes, it's because she made a choice to get, because it's always blaming the woman. Like she's not trying hard enough. She's given up on these sort of things. Right. It's always, and so maybe psychosis was the right word. Right?

It's this blatant. Lack of, and this is where the, the anti-education aspect of it comes in too, right? This blatant, blatant lack of understanding of just how monumental of a change having a child is. Yeah. And also even if you don't have children just getting older, your body [00:19:00] changes. Yeah. And if you're only getting with somebody, it's the same reason why these.

On the misogynistic side where they're so terrified of trapping their women in this situation. 'cause if, if you have a very specific reason you got with somebody, whether it's for, uh, money or for their, their young 'cause they're 22 years old and look a certain way or whatever it is, when that's all you have, then you need to make sure and it, and that goes away eventually.

In some ways it fades at some, at some point.

Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3: Then you have to figure out other ways to trap them. You have to figure out other ways to, yes, manipulate them and to staying with you as opposed to just being with somebody you want to be around and that you actually love.

Speaker: I would like to say the amount of effort it takes for a postpartum woman.

To get her body into the shape before baby, which actually sometimes is impossible. Literally impossible. Like the way that your skin stretches, the way that your body changes. Mm-hmm. Um, the hormones that are involved, plus the fact that often these women are very young. Mm-hmm. [00:20:00] You know, when they're like, when they're getting pregnant, maybe they're 20, their body's changing that effort.

The men are not matching that effort on themselves. No. Ever do. Mm-hmm. What it would take women to maintain that, like what size two they want them to be right their whole life.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Are men? No. No, because they're not going off. Like there's a lot of men that can just maintain, like my dad has pretty much maintained, he works out like semi, you know, he works out every now and again.

Mm-hmm. But he still looks, you know. Mm-hmm. Like, he still has the, the same kind of physique versus like, it takes a lot usually for, for women. Mm-hmm. To, uh, oh my God. The thunder just clapped.

Speaker 3: Oh, wow.

Speaker: That's the Lord.

Speaker 3: Stop talking about this. Secret, secret. Tell the people

Speaker: No. All goes. Um, no, but really it's like the amount of work it would take.

Like the men aren't matching that. They're not doing that. They're not getting their hair dyed, their nails done. They're not putting makeup every day. And I'm just saying like. They [00:21:00] don't take into consideration the amount of work, and then it comes down to do they even give their wives the space to do that?

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Like, do you give them time without a child? Do you pay for that? Like, are you even let alone again third, like mm-hmm. Let alone, let alone if she wants to, does she even want to? Mm-hmm. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. Uh, well, we were talking about on the, uh, the pre-show a little bit about how, uh, like I, I think about my, my marriage, right?

With, we have, we have three kids. Two of them have, have, uh, special needs that are, require some extra services, but even, even aside from that, right. But just between classes and pickups from school and afterschool activities and homework and all that goes into it, you know, I, I have to, I take off a lot of time from work too, because that's also my job.

Right. That's also, yeah. Part of it. Versus if we were in a traditional, uh, you know, in one of these. When I say traditional, I don't mean it in a good way. Uh, marriage, right? Sure. Where she was responsible for all of that. There was, I can't even imagine [00:22:00] the stress and the, the, like, how, how could you maintain, where would you find time to exercise?

Where would you find time to eat healthy? Where would you find time to, to do all these sorts of things when you're also expected to do. Everything else in the household regarding your family, uh, and, and like, and, and a lot of these families are also the, the, they're in charge of, uh, the wi the wife is in charge of the finances and finding the bills, all of these other things that it makes no logical sense.

And then the men are shocked when the, when their wife gets, is depressed or gaining weight or quote unquote giving up as they like to put it, because of the fact that they're required to do all of the things in the household. Plus also. Parent, the, the husband that is a part of that relationship.

Speaker: Well, that's the ironic thing, is they end up being like, when they get an inevitable divorce, when they think like that and treat their wives like that.

Mm-hmm. And then she quote unquote, has a glow up. Right. And it's like, yeah, that's what she looks like when someone is not draining the life [00:23:00] out of her. Mm-hmm. It's like they look and they're like, damn, it really looks like you're exhausted and like. You know, you don't have the space to take care of yourself in the ways that you'd want to.

God. Why is that?

Speaker 3: Why is that? I wish there that was, I wish there was something I could do.

Speaker: I know, but

Speaker 3: you know, because if there was a way, some way that I could help, but. Anyhow, I'm gonna go golfing. I know. So I'm gonna, you know, you lemme know. I'm gonna go do

Speaker: fantasy football for eight hours.

Speaker 3: Here's, you know what, here's $20.

Why don't you buy yourself some of that fancy cream? You like,

Speaker: here's a, here's a gym membership. Yeah. Oh my God, I'm,

Speaker 3: I'm laughing. Only like. It's not funny. It's not, obviously we, yes. It's the, the absurdity it, because

Speaker: obviously Checo, I think you're, I think you're good. I don't think our audience thinks like, oh my God, I'm,

Speaker 3: I'm reminding my, you know how much I check my own language though.

It's sad though. It really is sad though, and it's so scary about how realistic and how often this happens. Like the, [00:24:00] I I don't share. The, like when people DM me stories about the things going on in their own lives, I don't share them because I felt like they're sharing. But like, I think people, even the people that that agree and like hear about these sort of things would be shocked at how common, the horrific things that these guys are talking about on like the, especially the misogynistic guys, uh, on these shows are, are just, is just across the board everywhere.

Speaker: Checo. I actually have a story then that is kind of. On this topic. Is that okay? Is that okay?

Speaker 3: Yeah.

Speaker: So this is a story about

Speaker 3: a girl named Lucky. Sorry.

Speaker: She's so lucky. Actually, no, this is a story about a girl named Unlucky.

Speaker 3: Okay. Okay.

Speaker: But this is about men's expectations of women, even if they leave them.

Speaker 3: Mm.

Speaker: So I'm gonna give you an am I the asshole? Okay. Am I the asshole for refusing to waive my [00:25:00] alimony because my ex-husband has cancer and can't afford it? Buckle up.

Speaker 2: Okay.

Speaker: My ex-husband, 56 and I 52 got divorced because of his infidelity. She was a sex worker 20 years younger than me, so 30. As a part of our prenuptial agreements, we had agreed I would receive alimony for being a stay-at-home mom.

I was a stay-at-home mom for my entire marriage. We had three daughters. He never had a problem with paying alimony after our divorce. We had to be friendly to maintain a good co-parenting relationship. My daughters were very hurt in the beginning, but learned to forgive my husband and his wife. They make tiktoks with her all the time.

Now, he ended up getting cancer and because he became a big spender and had recently started his own business, the bills had been very hard on him. He and his wife asked if I could waive my alimony payments at least for a little while so [00:26:00] that he can pay for his cancer treatments. I see no reason why they can't downgrade their quality of life.

They live in a multimillion dollar house. Yeah, and his wife is decked out in designer clothes and has a face full of procedures. I told them no, and they have been pressing me to waive my alimony payments. They've even made my daughters bring it up. He's called me cold hearted and said he had been good to me and would've helped me out if I was going through a hard time.

Am I the asshole? Edit he has early stage thyroid cancer. It's very treatable. He's not going to die.

Speaker 3: Well, aside from the sad ending of him not going.

Speaker: Sorry, can't say that.

Speaker 3: Sorry. No, delete that. Kill him

Speaker: instead of Leave him.

Speaker 3: Yeah, instead of leave him. No, she's not an asshole. So, because like, what's the expectation?

Like [00:27:00] the, the, the. Point of alimony, which I think so many men especially will overlook, is like if you have a partner who became a stay at home wife, you traditionally it's, they are foregoing career development. They're foregoing advancement in their career. They're foregoing the 10, 20, however long, many years that they would've established themself in a career, just like mm-hmm.

The man did in this. And so what is she now all of a sudden supposed to be like, okay, well I get that you're hard on the bills right now. I still don't have that career that I gave up pursuing, uh, as a result of this. I like that the. Just on the basis of alimony. I, I, I don't know if I made a video about it or I just thought about it, uh, or, or a lot, but I don't understand why so many guys are confused about why, uh, like, it, it makes complete sense if, if tomorrow my wife and I were to separate.

She deserves alimony, right? Like the reason I have the career that I have [00:28:00] today, regardless of, and this is me as someone, as being an extremely active partner, extremely active parent, that is not just quote unquote working, uh, while they're doing stuff. The fact is that the, the reason I've been able to achieve success has a large part of the fact that she has been my, my partner at home, right?

That she has been doing stuff. If we were to separate. I have to accept that the career that is still going to continue advancing, even if she is not there, is only there because of her. And so anyways, that, that's just kinda a random alimony. Of course. That's, that should be the case.

Speaker: Well, also they forfeit their work and their work history, like Right.

Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. It's a, it's a start from scratch.

Speaker: Yeah. You literally mm-hmm. Don't have anything on your resume. And it is a big deal. Like one of the first things people ask is like. Why is there a big, why is there a big hole? Uh uh, it, why is there a big hole? Why big hole? Why is there [00:29:00] a big hole?

Mm-hmm. Why is there a big hole in your like career? Mm-hmm. And also like, you can't make up for what you've lost in that time period. And then, you know, you're, your starting basically from zero at whatever age. Mm-hmm. Oftentimes they're, they're dumping these women, like at this point. Mm-hmm. You know, she was.

In her fifties.

Speaker 3: Right.

Speaker: Like she was working and when you take

Speaker 3: into like ageism into account along Jesus with sexism, like it, it's not just a, you know, a as if, yeah. If she was just 25 and being like, well now I'm starting the workforce. This is someone that is already again, like say I missed that part in her fifties.

Right. Attempting to have a zero resume job and start a career is nearly impossible.

Speaker: The idea that she should suffer. That the woman who dedicated her life to this man mm-hmm. And then had him not only cheat, but cheat with a sex worker mm-hmm. Then leave her for that. Like, that's, I, I mean, I, I don't know how she [00:30:00] feels on betrayal, but I feel like that's a lot of betrayal because then he's using the money for the family.

Mm-hmm. Like if it's all of the, you know, to, to pay too cheap, like that's a big deal. Mm-hmm. And. So she undoubtedly has suffered, you know, her family suffered, everybody suffered. And she has felt, I can't imagine what type of pain. And then now he's married to this much younger woman. Mm-hmm. And they're living a lavish lifestyle.

And the second they have to pull back mm-hmm. They immediately wanna take from her again.

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. If you ever wanted sympathy, maybe don't. Have an affair and cheat on your wife and leave her and like get with the person you cheated on her with and spend all this, like, there's, there's no situation here where it would be like, I could see a situation where somebody would maybe isn't well off and they had, they had an amicable breakup.

Sure. And they're like. You know, I'm just, I know, I know I made this promise. I'm really struggling right now, and I could see that being a different situation. Mm-hmm. This is not that [00:31:00] situation. Everything de all the details and circumstances of this matter,

Speaker: to call her the cold-hearted one.

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Sir,

Speaker: sir, you cheated on your wife, right? You left her for someone else, like she was nothing like. I'm sorry. You do not then get her sympathy. You have lost the privilege of her sympathy. Mm-hmm. After you've done that to her,

Speaker 3: and this isn't even typical alimony, it sounds like she made it something, they had a prenup.

Yeah, that specifically laid out this contract for them. It's not like they, it's like, oh man, I didn't realize this. I'm a poor widow old man that didn't know that this was gonna happen to me. This is what they laid out and he knew was gonna happen when he decided to cheat on her.

Speaker: Mm-hmm. But that's the thing is like women are expected to forever take care of men.

Mm-hmm. I actually have another, am I the asshole?

Speaker 3: Sure.

Speaker: That's along this line even to a stronger extent. Okay. I, but I feel [00:32:00] like it, it's, we're in the same vein here, okay?

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Would I be the asshole for refusing to take my dying ex-husband? In my ex-husband, 65 and I 64, were only married for a year, but we have been together for 14 years, since we were respectively 34 and 33.

But we finally got married after a year. He said he wasn't happy and married his current wife. 38. So here we go again with the age gap. Mm-hmm. Six months later, we didn't talk for five years, but after those five years, he reconnected with my daughter, his stepdaughter, who was three when she met him and was 18 when her stepdad and I split up.

I had to interact with him because of my daughter, and he apologized for how cruel he was in the past and says he wasn't the one who blocked my daughter's calls. Brutal.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm. Or

Speaker: deleted her emails to him. That was his wife's doing. I recently found out that he was diagnosed with stage four of a very aggressive cancer and didn't [00:33:00] have much time left.

In his last lucid conversation, he said his wife, despite him being the father of her two kids, has run off all his home care. One nurse called her an insane drama queen before quitting and wants to send him into a nursing home where he'll be basically alone. The kid's nanny also refuses to help care for my ex-husband saying she's not qualified and it's not her job.

My daughter and I had been over a few times to help do everything. From change his diaper to dealing with vomit, but after a few times, my daughter says she's still very resentful that he ditched her for five whole years and that she will clean vomit off me. Her future kids and her husband, but not somebody who's two years ago said he wasn't allowed to attend her wedding.

After that, she barely came because he was already implying he wanted to spend his last days with either me or his former stepdaughter. I talked to his current wife and she said she's fed up. Staying home all the time and dealing with the drama of having caregivers around her and her sons. [00:34:00] She said if I wanted to take him in, she'd be happy to help facilitate it or else he was going to a nursing home.

I know that if he enters a nursing home, he'll likely die alone, but be surrounded by unfriendly, unfamiliar faces. I have spent many, many hours contemplating this decision because I don't think anybody deserves to die alone. Perhaps. Also, I feel like I still have some sort of caregiver like sense of attachment to him since I had taken care of him while he was sick for over 15 years.

However, while his wife is practically swimming and money, I live very modestly and that's all I can afford. Giving him care would run me dry and I don't see how my daughter would feel coming over and seeing her stepfather, who I said, probably will not be lucid, would I be the asshole? I am seriously agonizing over this decision.

Speaker 3: I don't even understand why she's considering it. I don't, I feel so heartless saying that because I, in my own life, I definitely. Have [00:35:00] given people second, third, fourth, and fifth chances that didn't deserve it. Dang. So I, I think it's much easier to say from the outside, like, so I'm not mocking her, I guess by saying like, like, why would you even do this?

It's always easier from the outside, obviously, and this is someone that she obviously at one point loved dearly enough to marry and be with, and so I get why the question is even being asked. But because I'm on the outside looking in, I could say absolutely not. You know, the, these are the consequences of our actions, right?

That's, that, it's, that's, that's life. If, if I were the one that was doing what he did, I cannot, in any reasonable sense, expect the person I did that to, to then drop everything because of the bad choice that I made. That's, that's, that's what happened. Uh, and, and if I end up being alone. By myself in that situation.

That does suck. But I brought that on. I did that. Right. And I can't [00:36:00] be mad at, at a, an ex or the person that I abused, the person that I, and, and it, I guess this is even thinking about my own situation with my father, uh, like, you know, I want no contact with my father. And, you know, I, I, there, there are times in my life where I was like, I.

Should I have felt guilty that I didn't at the end of his life, that I didn't go visit, that I didn't do something. Uh, even though obviously, especially as a child, I was the victim of the things that he did. But I, you still feel that I understand that. Uh, and it's not till later on in life where I'm, I'm accepting that no, I didn't owe him that.

I didn't owe, you know, but, but that's, once again, the consequences of your actions. If you're going to treat other people like garbage, you cannot then expect it an. And even, even asking them, even putting it out there, I feel is even further garbage. 'cause you are, you're knowing, you're taking advantage of someone that you think, in this case obviously that is, is a very empathetic and and caring person in the hopes that they are going to [00:37:00] do some more, give up more of their life for you after already giving up that much of their life for you in the past.

And so, yeah, I would say absolutely not.

Speaker: I think there is this unrealistic and. Kind of cruel expectation that mm-hmm. Men have in our society, which is that regardless of how. Garbage. You treat your, your wife or your partner. Mm-hmm. Or what the history is that you should then take, be taken care of. Mm-hmm.

By them. That it is still their responsibility because they ever loved you at all. Despite the fact that you betrayed that love, you betrayed that trust, that because they loved you once, they should have to love you for forever. Right. Despite the fact that you, that is not mutual. That is not mutual. And there is, hold on, I'm gonna find.

Um, I ha I oddly have a statistic, uh, on a video that I am going to shred someone, hold on me. There's a, a really scary [00:38:00] statistic about men when they are taking care of. Women when they are sick.

Speaker 3: I know the stat you're going to bring up.

Speaker: Men are 624% more likely to separate from a woman if she gets sick.

Mm-hmm. And becomes terminally ill. Whereas if the man gets sick, there is a 2.9% rate.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: That they will leave, uh, male will leave at a 21% rate.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: That is horrifying. Yeah. And the main complaint being that their dying partner no longer fulfills their needs and that's why they leave. Mm-hmm. Like he left her, he callously left her for this other woman.

And I, I also think like. It is sadly the consequence of your own actions, and I know you said that as well. Mm-hmm. But it's this idea of, yeah, if you're with someone [00:39:00] who has been with you for over a decade, who you only married the last year, and then you ditch her, I don't know if they were cheating, but six months then married.

Isn't that what they said? Six months?

Speaker 3: I think So

Speaker: is is a short span there, right?

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: That's a pretty quick jump. So yeah, I would, I would imagine something's going on there. Either there was cheating or he doesn't know her that well.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Especially insulting when it took him 13 years before he married her.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. And

Speaker: this new woman, he's married at six months.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: And so when times get tough with this woman, he doesn't know, versus a woman who loved him for 14 years mm-hmm. And this new woman doesn't wanna deal with his shit, doesn't wanna deal with the fact that he's older and doesn't wanna take care of him, and, and seemingly has very low empathy, which is mm-hmm.

Kind of frightening in my opinion. Mm-hmm. Yeah. When you do that to someone, it [00:40:00] should it be shocking to you that your new young wife, who you don't really know mm-hmm. Like, does not maybe harbor the trust and love that your partner that's 14 years would like mm-hmm. This woman is actually thinking about it.

Mm-hmm. She's considering after everything you've done to her and probably more upsetting to her, her daughter.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: He's consi, she's considering taking care of you. Despite everything you've done to her, that is the loyalty you broke to gain this relationship where she, she doesn't wanna deal with you 'cause you're too much effort.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: And caregivers make her house busy.

Speaker 3: And I mean, honestly, this, this goes perfectly with what we started talking about in the, in the beginning of this too. It's, it's, it's always. In this, he probably left her and she's probably even, I don't know their specific situation, but when you try to forgive somebody, it's like, oh, well he didn't know what he was doing.

He, he made a mistake. This poor whittle boy that [00:41:00] that left me. And you know, he really did love me though. And maybe. Maybe I shouldn't take that out on him because there, why, why am I, he's a man. Why should he have consequences?

Speaker: Yeah. Right.

Speaker 3: For, for the, I'm the only one that's allowed to have negative consequences from the choice of love, the mistake I made of loving someone.

Right? And so, no, I, I think fully on this, this goes back to the entire theme of, um. Certain types of men expecting to be able to do whatever the fuck they want. And if the situation was reversed, the statistic you brought up proves that, you know, even in the best of circumstances when they are married to somebody in that situation, but, but in the circumstances that we're bringing up, they would not.

Go, they would not go that extra mile. And if, and they would be very clear about, and, and honestly, the, the wife probably wouldn't even go to them. Right. To, to expect that. Because the expectation wouldn't be there in those situations.

Speaker: Yeah, exactly. It, it's, the expectation is wild to me. [00:42:00] Especially in these two cases where they have wronged these women, they have mm-hmm.

Really injured them and their children like. It's one thing if you hurt me, it's a whole nother thing. If you hurt like my loved ones, oh yeah. My wife, my child.

Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Then we really have a problem that then I really like, really don't like you. So they've, they've wounded them and expect them to be like the, the highest level of a partner.

Speaker 7: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: To, to love them and be there for them in ways that, you know, even someone they were with, it would be challenging. Mm-hmm. Like, I'm, I'm withholding a large amount of money from you, or I need you to be a 24 hour caregiver because you don't have the funds to do that.

Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: How can you expect that of them?

How can you treat them so poorly? And then like, the whole cold-hearted thing, it's like you're cold-hearted, you're not a good woman. But what about what you did to her? Like why [00:43:00] is it that men have like. Abysmal the bars in hell expectations and women are expected to be damn near martyrs.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm. For

Speaker: these men who have like broken their, their hearts broken, their trust, destroyed their lives, and yet they're just supposed to pick up the pieces, and we see this all the time.

This is not an uncommon thing where women are expected to take men back and be forgiving and be so understanding of these horrible things that they do. When. The, the same could not be said and statistically is not true.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: For men. And I've seen so many women, like, um, you know, there was the whole case with Gene Hackman.

I don't know if you were

Speaker 4: mm-hmm.

Speaker: Saw that at all. But, so Gene Hackman was with his much younger wife. Much younger wife, and they ended up both dying because they had like gone out into like a remote area where no one was checking on them. They weren't. Like, it didn't have like staff or anything, it was just the two of them.

Mm-hmm. And like Gene Hackman.

Speaker 3: I did hear that. Yeah. Has a

Speaker: [00:44:00] ton of money. And oddly enough, like he wrote out, he wrote out all of his children from his will. Mm-hmm. Despite the fact that he has said he was not a good dad. There are quotes from him that he was not a very good dad and like she died because she got like a, a rat born illness.

Yeah. But like, had she had anybody there, they could have helped her. But she didn't, because she gave her life, literally gave her life to take care of him. Mm-hmm. And then he passed away because she had passed away. Mm-hmm. And then a dog passed away. Like, yeah, it's this. That was

Speaker 3: such, I I do remember that.

Such, it's tragic. Such a tragic, so tragic. It's a tragic, tragic, yeah, tragic. But,

Speaker: but you know, we see this, we see these days says Mel Hamlet, I'm always bringing her up, but she did a whole video on it. But she talks about like, we are programmed to, as women, to take care of men in this manner, to sacrifice.

To give everything and to do it with a smile when the same cannot be said, and like that's that's how she died because she didn't have any help [00:45:00]

Speaker 3: and the second she needed help. He couldn't, he can't, he physically, mentally couldn't. Mm-hmm. Yeah. He literally was not in a, no, that's not, that's not a reflection on, I think he had dementia

Speaker: or Alzheimer's.

I think he was,

Speaker 3: that's my understanding was he had, I, I heard, I read dementia, but I don't know if it was correct. Yeah.

Speaker: But that's, that is one case of how women give their lives to, to men. Mm-hmm. Who, you know, I, I hope he, I don't know. I don't know how he treated her. I don't know the speci specifics of the relationship.

Right. But, you know, it's a tragedy that stems from. This need that women have to, to take care of men. And, you know, it's really sad and especially in these cases where it's like, that's some, that's a, you know, a, a a relationship where they're married and they're together, and then mm-hmm. You have this expectation that women are gonna give up huge chunks of their life, or, uh, you know, you, you should be with me till death when I've mm-hmm.

Betrayed you. Mm-hmm. And we're not together, like mm-hmm. Ooh, I to [00:46:00] ask someone to do that. And like they're saying, when he was lucid, he was expecting that that either mm-hmm. Or the daughter, he blocked.

Speaker 5: We're

Speaker: not like, we haven't even mentioned that he was saying either the mom he left or the child he did, would not go to the wedding of, did not speak to and block for years because, oh, my wife made me, sir, you are a grown ass man.

Speaker 3: Right? It's not like the, once again, oh, my evil wife

Speaker: that I'm with and a married two and a half kids with,

Speaker 3: yeah. I had no control over the situation. Right. There's nothing I could have done about it yet. I still also stayed with her and, uh, made that show. That's a decision you made

Speaker: that wasn't a deal breaker.

Yeah. Like cutting off contact to my stepdaughter

Speaker 3: mm-hmm.

Speaker: Was not a deal breaker to me. Right. I was willing to let you go.

Speaker 4: Yeah.

Speaker: Maybe you should take care of me. See what I mean? It's like, it's, mm-hmm. It's the children, it's the wives, you know? Mm-hmm. And you see it culturally, there are a lot of cultures where the daughters are expected to take care of the ailing parents.

[00:47:00] It's not just here, it's, it's common in a lot of places where women are just mm-hmm. You're the caretaker. You're naturally,

Speaker 2: mm-hmm.

Speaker: The feeling is not mutual. Like it really isn't. And it's so sad to me and like so many women would do it, I think absolutely would do it would end up doing it because they're like.

I would be so cruel not to, and it takes no account. Mm-hmm. Like men can be as cruel as they wanna be, but then when it comes down to it, women are so terrified of being seen as cruel. Yeah. That one got me. Sorry, that's a bit of a downer. Sorry. Sorry. But I, I, I mean that's like the, that's the extreme of it, right?

Like, you see these, you see how much men are, will ask of women.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: I, I mean, I've had, I've told I've, this is not about death, by the way. Mm-hmm. Um, being less of a downer. I've had men that I not, not now that I'm gay, I think they're like, ah, it's too late. Mm-hmm. But like when I, after I dated people, like I had men reach out to me way past mm-hmm.

Way past our breakup [00:48:00] and like wanna have like emotional conversations with me, like mm-hmm. Like they were hurting. So they'd want me to console them because they know that I am that. Like, I'm a very empathetic person and I, I am. When I am with you, I am very much there for you. Right. Uh, and it's like, dude, I haven't talked to you in five years.

Why are you reaching out? Right. I, I did have a guy who I dated a long time ago want me to basically counsel him while I was married, and I'm like, and had a child, and I'm like, I, I don't do that anymore. I've revoked. Mm-hmm. Like my. My straight therapist card is declined, like mm-hmm.

Speaker 3: That's what we talked about last week though.

Yeah. Like the, the whole, uh, reliance on the, the only way they know where they could find this, uh, emotional intimacy and regulation and therapy, uh, because the God knows they're not gonna go to an actual therapist is through their sexual partners. Right. Through the people they're in a relationship with.

And then even when it goes away, they're like, oh, well I [00:49:00] need that though. Gimme, gimme more. I need that. I need that. Yeah. But it's,

Speaker: I mean, they're literally, they will start full ass relationships. Mm-hmm. Because they need a therapist. Mm-hmm. They will reach out. That it, that's like when guys reach out and then, um.

You. You're like, that's weird. They're like, Hey, what's up? How's it going? And then you find out they've had something emotional happen, they've had a breakup, and they have big feels and they don't know how to process them. So they're reaching out literally as if they have a Rolodex in their head of like, mm-hmm.

Who's the last woman I had an emotional connection with that will help me with my feelings? Mm-hmm. Rather than, I don't know, learn how to regulate their own emotions.

Speaker 3: Right. No, that's not gonna happen.

Speaker: That's crazy.

Speaker 3: That's What are you doing?

Speaker: We know two things. One, mm-hmm. Men cannot regulate their emotions.

Two, they will cheat. So you better put up boundaries. 'cause God, I do feel

Speaker 3: bad that we've joked that, uh, our pre-show are therapy. I. [00:50:00]

Speaker: Why am I

Speaker 3: using you as my therapist? Oh, with

Speaker: me? Yeah. Hey, you know what? I almost went into school for that. I almost became a psychologist, so. Mm-hmm. Um,

Speaker 3: but I do have an actual therapist.

Speaker: Yes. My advice is not,

Speaker 3: no, I think, I think what I'm confusing is we're, we're just friends.

Speaker: That's called Friendship. That's a, that's friend. I forgot. Friendship Friend. You actually

Speaker 3: have Friendship where we actually talk to each other. It's not just me venting to you. Every single priest

Speaker: women can be friends with man JustCo.

That's kind of the point.

Speaker 3: Wait a second. That was what this episode was about. It's

Speaker: almost like you just proved the point. You just had a momentary like, oh shit. Am I taking advantage of? No, because women and men can have actual meaningful conversations.

Speaker 3: Shocking.

Speaker: That's why these men reach out. 'cause I don't have meaningful relationships.

Speaker 3: Yeah, that's exactly it.

Speaker: If you have to reach out to your ex from 10 years ago mm-hmm You got, you got a problem. You do not have enough people in your circle.

Speaker 3: That you're honest with, and it's, and they don't, they're structurally, [00:51:00] Ben can't talk about, oh, well, I'm really going through something hard right now.

Phil.

Speaker: Hey Chuck. I, I really need to tell you, I've been feeling kind of depressed.

Speaker 3: Can I, can I just cry a little bit in your arms right now?

Speaker: Do you have a shoulder, my friend?

Speaker 3: Yeah. No, get off me

Speaker: gay. I'm sorry. It's uncontrollable.

Speaker 2: I didn't even mean to

Speaker: say that. I don't know why that came out. That's like what people would, it's remember when people would say No, homo all the time.

You're like, what the hell? They're like, it was,

Speaker 3: there was a period of time where that was way too common.

Speaker: You, you did a great job. No, homo. You're like, it's not gay. That.

Speaker 3: I really appreciate your friendship. No, homo. No.

Speaker: No. Homo. Oh my God.

Speaker 3: It's the male insecurity aspect of the, the fragility of like, oh, kindness is feminine, is

Speaker 7: gay,

Speaker 3: is caring, is gay or is is not masculine.

Oh,

Speaker: having feelings is gay. And sharing them is good. You're like, [00:52:00] are you all right? Are you good? No, you're not.

Speaker 3: No. It's not even close to,

Speaker: no, you are not. No, you are not.

Speaker 3: Um,

Speaker: all of this coming down to the fact that men expect women to regulate their emotions and be their support systems. Mm-hmm. And if they can't use the woman that they're with, they will go to the last woman they were with because that's all that they have and that's what they expect.

And I think the expectation is the scariest part, right? That you're a bad person if you don't let them use your. Your emotional labor.

Speaker 3: Well, I had a whole idea for a second segment off show. Oh no, I forgot.

Speaker: I'm sorry. Next

Speaker 3: week we are going to include a brand new segment on our show.

Speaker: Shit, we don't have time to do any, we

Speaker 3: don't, I mean we could, we could just try one.

Speaker: Let's do it again. Let's do it really

Speaker 3: quick. I like idea. Alright, because we, alright, so the idea, here's the idea. So we, we talk about a lot of really dark topics on this show sometimes, right? And we get obviously. Yeah, we get to the point where I wa I was like, sometimes we end shows and I'm always like, [00:53:00] well, all right everybody.

Speaker 4: Sorry about that. Have a

Speaker 3: good day. Sorry about Good day. So I thought it would be fun for the people that stick around if we kind of end on a, on a sillier note. And do some, some would you rathers? Let's do it.

I'm

Speaker: ready

Speaker 3: from it. Because we've had a lot of requests of people that like when, uh, when we kind of go off the rail, uh, also on our show, so, um, which is basically what our entire, I said preshow if you want, if you want like watch our pre-show.

Okay. Okay. Uh, so let's go ahead and. I think this, I, I chose this one 'cause I thought it would be really interesting how, uh, how the, the answers might be gendered. Okay. But, uh, would you rather be so attractive that when you go outside, people try to ask you out nonstop? Or would you rather have an extremely hard time getting a partner?

Uh,

Speaker: God. Oh my God. That's a tough one.

Speaker 3: The fact that you're struggling with it is kind of the exact point, because for me, my [00:54:00] ex, my immediate, and this is, I'm, I'm speaking of this from a, if I was a single person

Speaker 5: Yeah. And

Speaker 3: was not, you know, if I was in a situation where I was not in a relationship, uhhuh would I rather have people throwing themselves at me constantly?

And my immediate answer as a man was like, of course I was about that. Yes. That sounds a. Amazing. And I can get a partner and I can get a partner outta it. This is fantastic, right? But it because, uh, I've never had to deal with street harassment. I've never, I literally am

Speaker: over here like, this is a nightmare.

Speaker 3: Oh, this is such a hard decision. How do I choose being so truck of the people are constantly asking me out or

Speaker: having trouble coming. It's the worst. I am like the, ugh. I just. So, I don't know. No answer. I I, I'll say the attractive one, but begrudgingly.

Speaker 3: Begrudgingly because you know that there's gonna be, and that's the, we've talked about it before, not that I, I said this supposed to be lighthearted, but the, the danger I.

[00:55:00] Uh, that comes with being a woman that, uh, in public it just, it existing as a woman in public. Mm-hmm. And then the, the idea of being so attractive that you're in this, this mystical world of this, you are just constantly being bombarded with it is definitely not gonna, it's gonna lead to some great, uh, not, not funny situations versus as my, like my immediate thought was like,

Speaker 6: hell yeah.

Speaker 3: What? I don't understand the downside.

Speaker: That's funny.

Speaker 3: Okay. Here, do you wanna see a, a more philosophical one or a stupid one?

Speaker: I don't. You, you decide, you be the judge.

Speaker 3: Okay? Uh, let's go with, let's go philosophical. Ooh, thunder. Thunder. Be the thunder, lightning, and

Speaker: thunder. Would you,

Speaker 3: would you rather date someone that loves you but you don't love them back or date someone you love but they don't love you back?

Speaker: Oh, God, that's a tough

Speaker 3: one.

Speaker: I, [00:56:00] I, I, I feel like I have dated many that I loved me and I

would, you rather would rather, I thought I did

Speaker 3: your entire straight dating. Yeah.

Speaker: Um, but I feel like my insecurity, if I love them and they mm-hmm. Didn't love me. I'll go with I love them and they don't love me. What about you ing?

Speaker 3: I would complete opposite versus like, I, and this is my need to be loved. I know, I, I have that fear too.

The idea that I was with someone that did not love me. Back.

Speaker 5: Yeah.

Speaker: Uh,

Speaker 3: is that, is my nightmare. Like that that is literally hitting at every insecurity I have.

Speaker: But if I had to go back to like that really empty feeling because like mm-hmm. It was such a painful feeling growing up that I couldn't, I didn't understand what it was, where like.

I, I would feel love from people and I would love them as a person. Mm-hmm. But it would [00:57:00] just be missing something and I could not understand what was wrong with me. Mm-hmm. And just like that, that whole, and like, then you can feel they love you more and you feel bad and you don't know. Like, I would never wanna go to that place again.

Speaker 3: And to be clear. Both of these are horrific situations.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. That's the whole

Speaker 3: point is like neither of these are good situations. Right. I love that

Speaker: these are, you have to do a funny one 'cause we've, both answers have been dark at this point. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 3: I know. Uh, all right. All right. Let's go with last one.

Um, okay. Okay. Let's go with, okay, this is a really stupid one. Okay. Would you rather have sticky tape fingers or sticky tape lips?

Speaker: Oh my god, that's brutal. 'cause I hate like when, like if you were lip glos, like stuck, I have to do lips. You'd

Speaker 3: be getting, you'd be getting like dust and fur and everyth everything.

Yeah. But you touch

Speaker: everything you remember How? Can you imagine how dirty your hands would be? Oh yeah. I have marker on both my hands. Mm-hmm. Your hands would be so filthy, you could [00:58:00] never get them clean. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna say dirty lips and just deal with hair in my face. I guess.

Speaker 3: I feel like the workaround is like you just have to work gloves.

You have to be like rogue from the X-Men.

Speaker: Well, you didn't say I could wear gloves. That was not in there. No, I didn't say you couldn't

Speaker 3: wear gloves.

Speaker: Oh, okay. So I should assume there's workarounds.

Speaker 3: Yeah. You can't like cover your, your sticky lips with anything unless you're wearing, I guess you could wear a mask, a face mask.

Now that's a thing. Right? But, but you have the, the mask will be stuck to your, that'll be so uncomfortable. Yeah,

Speaker: that's even worse. Uh, I mean, I do,

Speaker 3: although there's almost nothing worse on earth than when you have sticky fingers and you can't, and you, there's no, you can't wash 'em off. I can't stand it.

You're in a situation where you're like, oh God, like your kid had like always a obstacle or something on Yeah. And you're like, oh God, why is my

Speaker: hand sticky? Why sticky?

Speaker 3: Yeah. And if you're, if you're driving or your situation where you can't wash them off, it's the worst. No.

Speaker: Mm-hmm. Sticky. I'm stick sticky lips McGee.

Okay.

Speaker 3: Sticky lips McGee. I, and I guess, yeah, there's not a lot of situations other than hair. You could cut your hair short.

Speaker: No, [00:59:00]

Speaker 3: no.

Speaker: I love my Maine. I shall not cut it. You know that even if

Speaker 3: you had sticky lips, that it got stuck to constantly, God.

Speaker: I specifically do not wear anything on my lips because I hate the feeling of like, yeah,

Speaker 3: I guess the question is how sticky also.

Is it like blue trap sticky, where it's like, oh

Speaker: God,

Speaker 3: or is it just like candy sticky?

Speaker: I don't know. You didn't tell me.

Speaker 3: I didn't, unfortunately. That's the way these questions function.

Speaker: And that's

Speaker 3: our show folks. And that's our show.

Speaker: Thank you so much for listening. Let

Speaker 3: us know if you like this. Yes. This extra little ending.

Speaker: Maybe we'll do less dark, uh, questions. Yeah. But, uh, you may hear the thunder, so apologies if there is any weird audio from the storm. And, uh, yeah, that's that's all I have. We will see you next week.

Speaker 3: We'll see you on the Flip the Flop.

Speaker: Bye

Speaker 3: bye. Love you.

Speaker: Love you. Bye.