Tallgirl6234: All right, welcome to sense, sensibility, and chaos where we meet.
Tallgirl6234: to sense, sensibility and chaos, where we explore the art of slowing down, embracing stillness, and figuring out if doing nothing else, is really as easy as it sounds.
BusySomethings: I'm busy. Even when I say I'm doing nothing. I'm still planning several projects and finding my next culinary experiment
WellReadHead: I'm well read. I firmly believe that doing nothing is an art form, one best enjoyed, with a good book in hand, and your cat nearby
Tallgirl6234: And I'm tall, girl, where I might say I'm not tired and end up asleep on the couch.
Tallgirl6234: and I'm tall, girl, where I might say I'm not tired and end up asleep on a couch for 5 h.
BusySomethings: Today's episode is all about the art of doing nothing, and why guilt? Free loafing is not always a bad thing
WellReadHead: Whether you're a professional at zoning out, or you've been trying to master the art of relaxing without the guilt we've got you covered
Tallgirl6234: So grab your comfiest blanket, find your favorite spot on the couch, and let's get into the art of doing nothing
WellReadHead: And the whole thing is just silence from this point forward, because we're doing nothing
Tallgirl6234: Run like 6 h and get credit for like a 6 h podcast
WellReadHead: Right.
BusySomethings: Correct.
WellReadHead: 6, h, live podcast, like.
BusySomethings: We take this seriously.
WellReadHead: Yes.
BusySomethings: Hi! Ladies!
WellReadHead: Hi
BusySomethings: Are we all ready to do nothing about nothing? I mean, I feel it's a little counterproductive that we're talking and doing something about nothing.
WellReadHead: Well, there are times to do nothing, and there are times to not do nothing. So this is one of those times where we're gonna not do nothing, but I
Tallgirl6234: Doing nothing is something.
Tallgirl6234: So doing something is also nothing.
WellReadHead: This is true, paradoxes abound.
Tallgirl6234: Deep, deep thoughts, to confuse everybody.
BusySomethings: It's too late in the evening for deep thoughts
Tallgirl6234: Lucid thoughts. For late at night.
BusySomethings: That's fair.
BusySomethings: So do you think there is a difference between being lazy and doing nothing and
BusySomethings: being a maybe a mindful, doing nothing
WellReadHead: Oh, absolutely, absolutely. I think that most of the time.
WellReadHead: you know it's it's good to occasionally be lazy, everything in moderation. Right? You you gotta
WellReadHead: allow yourself to truly do nothing every once in a while, if if your brain will shut off and let you do it.
WellReadHead: but doing nothing in a mindful way, like meditating or reading.
WellReadHead: I think that that has its time and its place as well. You gotta
WellReadHead: gotta do both things for mental health. Every once in a while.
Tallgirl6234: I think there's like bedrot couch potato, like just that perfect, slow, rainy, cold summer like summer weekend. Hmm!
WellReadHead: Cup of tea, no thoughts staring out the window
Tallgirl6234: Yeah. And then there's like the intentional like, I'm going to schedule me time. I am going to meditate. I am going to like
Tallgirl6234: growing up. We did this visualization thing like you have to like visualize your body is like just a outline of yourself, and it's blue and like the thing that's bothering you like. If you have a chest cold or something, you picture your lungs as red, and you like visualize like pushing the red out.
Tallgirl6234: So if you're stressed, or if you're tense like, the the idea is to focus on what it is bothering you and try to like, mentally expel it from your body.
Tallgirl6234: Like it does take work. You're lying there doing nothing. But your mind's like alive trying to be like out virus out
WellReadHead: That's interesting.
WellReadHead: It's a it's very fun to grow up with my parents and like, try to explain
Tallgirl6234: Year old, like I kept on waiting for something to like Pop out of the top of my head. They're like, it's a visualization I'm like. Well, then, that's bullshit, and I'm done meditating
WellReadHead: Sounds about right?
Tallgirl6234: Like this was fun. There's only a visual outcome in my mind like
WellReadHead: What do you mean? I can't shoot fire out of my brain like that character from inside out.
Tallgirl6234: Thinking for hours about this. No.
WellReadHead: I call shenanigans
BusySomethings: No, I think also like. Besides, just look, I think in.
BusySomethings: I think probably my favorite. Do nothing. Is the your comfy pajamas or loungewear
BusySomethings: for me. Personally, I enjoy nice light rain.
BusySomethings: cold weather, cup of tea, and like relaxing, that is, or, you know, reading a book or doing something like that
BusySomethings: top tier doing nothing. But sometimes there's also the nothing where it might.
BusySomethings: You're saying it's nothing, but it's like
BusySomethings: light things to do around the house that are just
BusySomethings: require no thought process and no heavy thinking
Tallgirl6234: I completely zone out when I make banana bread I've made it so often the same recipe over and over again.
Tallgirl6234: It's like 30 min that my brain just kind of turns off. I'm doing something. My brain is just not.
Tallgirl6234: It's like an action to keep me busy when I'm trying not to do something else
BusySomethings: You make the bread so often, but you never gave us any
Tallgirl6234: Definitely given you, and I've offered it up to somebody else.
Tallgirl6234: I even met somebody's roommate on the steps of the New York Public library and handed it off like it was a 5 pound Schmug deal.
Tallgirl6234: like 2 nicely wrapped loafs. That kind of also looked like something else got handed off between the 2 lions from the ghostbusters like.
Tallgirl6234: and then I walked away, and I was like that probably didn't look like what I thought it was. Thank the Lord like no, no, officer, I swear it's banana bread.
Tallgirl6234: I have definitely given you banana bread
BusySomethings: I don't remember ever receiving banana bread from you
WellReadHead: I remember her making it for you
BusySomethings: I don't remember it.
WellReadHead: That's just proves that it's been so long
BusySomethings: So long.
WellReadHead: So long
Tallgirl6234: That's okay.
Tallgirl6234: Okay. I don't treasure my time with you, either.
WellReadHead: All that.
Tallgirl6234: On this later my focus thought people who don't love me or treasure my cooking, ohm
BusySomethings: For each of us, I would say, What do you find? So I kind of mentioned what like works for me, like top tier situation of doing nothing.
BusySomethings: What do you think? Have you found things that work for you and what don't work for you and people, you know? Obviously everyone always gives suggestions. You want to relax. Do this and
BusySomethings: doesn't always work for everyone. So what works for you? What doesn't
Tallgirl6234: You want to know my fantasy.
Tallgirl6234: my fantasy, relaxation that I want to find the adult version of it.
Tallgirl6234: not fantasy, fantasy. Oh, your parents are listening!
WellReadHead: If you've ever seen it, it's pictures of like almost newborns. They put this like inner tube around their neck, and they let them like free float in the bathtub
Tallgirl6234: I, for the life of me cannot figure out
Tallgirl6234: why they don't have this for adults.
Tallgirl6234: I just
Tallgirl6234: want to float in a body of water for hours without worrying about whether or not I fall asleep or drown. I look at these newborns, and I'm like
Tallgirl6234: you have the best life
BusySomethings: Why don't you just put a floatie around you like orange
Tallgirl6234: Want an official one that people are gonna like
Tallgirl6234: I don't want like a dunkin donuts inner tube around my neck. I want something that's been certified that I won't die while trying to zone out
Tallgirl6234: under a shaded pool, where I also won't get sunburn
BusySomethings: You're so delicate, I mean, I get it saying, but I mean, actually, all of us are kinda very
Tallgirl6234: I'm sorry which one of us are baking in the sun for 8 hours?
WellReadHead: The beacons of Gondor are lit when I wear shorts. Let's be honest.
BusySomethings: I can tan, but I usually, if I haven't been in the sun much. 1st I have to burn a little bit first, and then
BusySomethings: my Italian heritage will join me. I used when I was a kid. I used to tan great
Tallgirl6234: I tanned great as a kid.
Tallgirl6234: It took me all summer to turn into your natural pale color, and now I visit a dermatologist every 90 days as a reward
BusySomethings: Yay.
BusySomethings: So besides, a tube around your neck when you're floating in water, what else
Tallgirl6234: The soft and comfy things
Tallgirl6234: like I am particular about, like soft pajamas, soft pillows, soft blankets, like I intentionally make my bed a place as comfortable as possible, because it's like, if this is where I'm going to spend 8 h.
Tallgirl6234: Oh, my! Like! My bed is a meditation. It is
BusySomethings: The temperature is right, the place is right. It's what I need it to be.
Tallgirl6234: It's what I want it to be. We know how many pillows I have.
BusySomethings: How many pillows might that be just? You know.
WellReadHead: 20?
WellReadHead: Have we gone up? Yeah.
Tallgirl6234: It's 18, but like. But really it's just because the squishmallows are like
BusySomethings: Just don't understand where there's 18 pillows
WellReadHead: I don't understand with 18 pillows where there's room for you on the bed, with 18 pillows
BusySomethings: That's what I'm saying. Like.
Tallgirl6234: I mean, I can.
Tallgirl6234: I can take photos one day. It just like
BusySomethings: Like, well, I mean, like, okay, start from the head
BusySomethings: of the bed to the into the tail. How
WellReadHead: Panorama.
Tallgirl6234: How many people it's also like they adjust. So even if there is one position, they then move.
Tallgirl6234: So there are like 6 to 7 in the back that create a wedge. But there are also another 4 along the side, because I roll to my side to fall asleep.
Tallgirl6234: Then there are the ones that go under my hips. There are the ones that go under my legs, and then there's the one at the end of the bed, because my toes are going to touch anything in the night. It needs to be like a smooth surface. Nothing freaks me out more than my toes, touching something like
WellReadHead: Yes.
Tallgirl6234: I am tall, if there's a wooden headboard, and all night, or a footboard, and all night long my feet keep on touching the footboard, I will wake up, and no, no.
BusySomethings: Do you not have a sheet on your toes like it? Does
Tallgirl6234: No!
Tallgirl6234: Oh, hooey capsulates their feet like a crazy person
WellReadHead: I do! I tuck the blanket underneath my feet.
Tallgirl6234: My mom does that to the point that she's got like ballerina feet
WellReadHead: Mhm
Tallgirl6234: Oh, oh, they need to be free. They need to breathe. They need to make friends. Well, I'm not around. They can play unsupervised with others, but like no, no containment.
BusySomethings: It depends. I I traditionally grew up when I was growing up, my would have one foot
BusySomethings: covered and one foot out like I felt like. I don't know if it was the idea that, like I didn't want to feel suffocated or like if I needed to like
WellReadHead: Well, there's also a temperature regulation thing
BusySomethings: That's true. If I had to kick somebody in case they were approaching me like I had one foot out and ready.
BusySomethings: The whole rolling. You need pills to be clear. I am dead usually
BusySomethings: like when you put me in bed. I don't move for the most part. I mean
Tallgirl6234: I roll like rotisserie chicken like if I'm not contained, it's why I can't have, like, you know, the California Hawaiian King, the size of, like
Tallgirl6234: our friend's bed, that that huge one I will roll from each side like somehow in my sleep. I want to make sure I efficiently wear the mattress and all quadrants like. I need to be contained when I sleep.
Tallgirl6234: or I will, and I violently flip from like top to bottom, dead asleep like. I've decided I want to be on my stomach now. Whomp!
BusySomethings: I've only in recent, maybe, like few months, have been comfortable to like. Be on a side a little bit.
BusySomethings: But I've always been like grew up like
WellReadHead: A back sleeper.
BusySomethings: Back, sleeper
Tallgirl6234: - stomach with my like
BusySomethings: World.
Tallgirl6234: Finger like my hands under my chin.
WellReadHead: And I'm a side sleeper with it, I T-Rex
BusySomethings: Do we use?
WellReadHead: Sleeper.
BusySomethings: Am I the only one who also sleeps with her hands just flat on the like flat, and out and down
WellReadHead: Yeah.
Tallgirl6234: Like all tucked in and under, and my face like in a pillow like I can't breathe. When I was little Mom used to come in in the night and like lift my head just to make sure I was breathing, and then put it back down. She could never understand
WellReadHead: My dad used to come in and put a finger under my nose to make sure that I was still breathing
BusySomethings: I don't think anyone cared
Tallgirl6234: We have mutual
Tallgirl6234: to like to screw with us on vacation puts her hands like across her like the dead pose. She won't move all night like she's not. She does it to mess with you, but like you wake up in the night, and she's in like the crypt keeper kind of thing, and
BusySomethings: Jokes on her
Tallgirl6234: Doesn't move like doesn't twitch a toenail. I'm like, no, no.
BusySomethings: Now, if I'm moving, that's how you know I'm mentally either. I'm like, I'm sick and like, congested some like that like taken that out of the equation. If I am moving around at night, either it has become hot in the room like air conditioner went out the fan that fan goes
BusySomethings: every day. I don't care if it is out in the house. There is going to be fan moving air
WellReadHead: Correct.
BusySomethings: But if, unless it's like a weather like the temperature being sick, I am
BusySomethings: pretty much dead. If I'm moving around, you know I'm unsettled
Tallgirl6234: So what is your optimal sleeping temperature?
Tallgirl6234: Because this is like hotly contested amongst the planet, like what is the best sleeping temperature
BusySomethings: I would probably say for me
WellReadHead: In the fifties.
BusySomethings: Yeah, I'm well, it depends. See? My room runs hot, so I don't.
BusySomethings: So then, like it's the middle of the winter.
BusySomethings: and I have my window cracked open. I also sleep with my bedroom door shut like I'm a door shut
Tallgirl6234: That's for fire safety. That's actually a very good thing
BusySomethings: Well, you know that's not why I was doing it, but I just, you know, shut the door, and
BusySomethings: usually my window is cracked open, so I would say about rounds anywhere, maybe probably between 60 or 65, maybe a little less. Sometimes
Tallgirl6234: Like 63
Tallgirl6234: dark as heck. It should be like a cave that is 6 miles underground, as quiet as humanly possible.
BusySomethings: No.
Tallgirl6234: Movie, the Holiday where Cameron Diaz had those like the blind shades that
WellReadHead: Oh, yes.
BusySomethings: That is, that is.
Tallgirl6234: I saw that, and I don't think I've ever been jealous of anything in a film, and everybody's like oh, my God! Look at her hair. Look at her, whatever I'm like. Have you seen the blinds in her bedroom?
BusySomethings: I don't see it, though.
BusySomethings: When I redo my bedroom aI wanna. Excuse me, I wanna I would love those
Tallgirl6234: Like temperature, control, sound, control, soft, soft everything. And then, like I have playlists. If I can't really fall asleep, or I have playlists, if like, there's a noise going on like this playlist will cancel out the sound of like, you know, the landscapers starting way too early in the morning. Kind of thing
BusySomethings: Oh, no, I see on on the flip side I have to have noise
BusySomethings: like I know what, but but it's not like just like random, like music or anything. It is. I have one song. I have a CD that I have in my my library, and it's like 6 h of rain and
BusySomethings: Like thunder and all that, and there's 1 like each
BusySomethings: quote. You know, song is 2 h of it. So I just have that on loop all night long.
Tallgirl6234: I forget where we stayed. I think it was our last trip together. I actually could hear it through the wall at night, and I was like.
Tallgirl6234: This is like secondary soothing, whereas I slept next to a well read one night
WellReadHead: To Last of the Mohicans
Tallgirl6234: And I'm like at 1st I hear it, and I'm like asleep to the sound of a battle, and then my brain just went alive with like.
Tallgirl6234: I'm sorry. The soothing sound that gets her to bed is like, I'm gonna kill you now.
BusySomethings: Or it should be like a podcast or something.
Tallgirl6234: Like. Finally an hour in. I hear the Mohican song, and I'm like
Tallgirl6234: that makes sense, and I like
Tallgirl6234: roll right over and went to bed.
WellReadHead: Yeah, I have to have spoken sound. I prefer voices.
WellReadHead: And it takes me a while to find a voice that
WellReadHead: will do it for me, because, you know, sometimes the voice just is creepy or
WellReadHead: whatever. But I have a couple of youtubers that I listen to those soothing voices that
WellReadHead: I fall asleep too.
Tallgirl6234: I found out on Tiktok like I've always hated my voice. I find out that people download my videos and play them in loop, and I'm like.
Tallgirl6234: Bless you, I just want to hear the tinkling sounds of like wind chimes. I could never fall asleep to a voice I would just like I'm trying to actively listen.
Tallgirl6234: But I didn't grow up with a TV like playing to soothe me to bed. So voices mean like, pay attention. Somebody's talking
WellReadHead: See, and I grew up in a house where the sound kind of echoed a lot.
WellReadHead: and the voices of my parents downstairs was reassuring.
WellReadHead: So
BusySomethings: I think, for me, like when we moved, we I was in the city, and I moved to a suburb area, apparently the 1st within the 1st couple of months we went back to the house or something, and maybe I was at my grandmother's, and apparently I was so excited to have the noise of the city like cars going by,
BusySomethings: ambulance, or you know, people like whatever. And so I don't.
BusySomethings: I could do both like I used to like years ago used to go to sleep with movies on, like I would have my set rotations, and, like, I know, within a certain set of time, I'm going to be out.
BusySomethings: But I didn't. Wanna I didn't like waking up
BusySomethings: like, we're having the TV glare on me like from the TV being on
BusySomethings: so then I switched over to sounds. But I could be like, I will usually be out within 5,
BusySomethings: 10 min.
WellReadHead: Takes me longer.
BusySomethings: Dead to the world.
BusySomethings: But I always I when I have
BusySomethings: that that rain going, it's usually pretty high, like you could hear it outside
BusySomethings: My my door, my bedroom door, and all because I'm like I want to drown out everything, and just let Nature put me knock me out
Tallgirl6234: I like that. She needs like spoken words. You need like rain sounds, and I need the world to be as silent as possible, like. I want to hear crickets 10 miles away at most.
Tallgirl6234: just somehow that seems to work for our dynamic
BusySomethings: Yes, it makes sense, too.
BusySomethings: I mean, yeah, balancing
Tallgirl6234: Oh!
BusySomethings: Someone
Tallgirl6234: I mean, but also our vacations. That's the other one.
BusySomethings: Yes.
Tallgirl6234: Vacations have built in guaranteed quiet time, or like quiet mornings, quiet, reflective evenings. Not that we're mean about it, but like the point of our vacations is to actually give us a vacation
BusySomethings: Yes.
BusySomethings: How about you, read, or is there anything that you find works for you for doing nothing?
WellReadHead: For my nothing. Well, obviously
WellReadHead: a book or an e-reader.
WellReadHead: I tend to also focus on soft things, so soft clothing, soft
WellReadHead: bedding soft, whatever. If if I'm on the couch, then I like to have a soft blanket on me.
WellReadHead: But I think it's primarily
WellReadHead: I spend a lot of mindful time doing nothing
WellReadHead: like I I don't. I'm not good at
WellReadHead: sitting still and doing nothing. Nothing.
WellReadHead: My brain tends to run amok.
WellReadHead: If I'm doing nothing, nothing. I feel a little bit guilty about it.
Tallgirl6234: Amok! Amok!
BusySomethings: Not like. Would you consider reading being enough and nothing
WellReadHead: No, because my mind is engaged same thing with like a cross stitch or an embroidery. My hands are engaged, so I'm I'm doing something, but
WellReadHead: those are the times when my brain tends to not run riot is when my hands are busy doing something.
WellReadHead: So my brain allows itself to be quiet because I'm actually doing something.
BusySomethings: So the idea of sitting on the couch.
BusySomethings: no reading, no cross stitching, nothing, just sitting there and contemplating life is when
WellReadHead: For for short periods of time I can do it
WellReadHead: but for elongated periods, for like hours
WellReadHead: my brain will start to catastrophize
WellReadHead: or tell me that I'm being lazy
WellReadHead: and not allow me to to sit still
Tallgirl6234: I will find I can meditate on a topic
Tallgirl6234: like, focus on your breathing, focus on your breath. But like.
Tallgirl6234: when you hear guys say like, Oh, I'm thinking of nothing. I'm like the amount of work I have to put in to get my brain to be
WellReadHead: To do nothing? 666 01:12:14.450 --> 01:12:15.380 Tallgirl6234: Yeah
WellReadHead: Yeah.
Tallgirl6234: I like you can get there. It takes me like an hour and a half of like, and we are calm, and we are breathing, and we are intentional, and it's like, and in the back of my mind there's always like the worst is when I shampoo my hair. For some reason I'm like I'm happy. I'm clean. I'm massaging my scalp, and that's why my brain is like thing for middle school, and I'm like, Oh, my God! That's where I left that key like, okay.
WellReadHead: When I'm falling asleep I will get
Tallgirl6234: I've learned to keep a not pad
WellReadHead: Out of sleep.
WellReadHead: Nope.
BusySomethings: I will sometimes jump out of bed of like. Did I lock the door?
BusySomethings: Like that now and then will happen like if I don't remember that I purposely went to each door, or sometimes I lock the door early in the evening, and I have no reason to go out or take the dog out, so
BusySomethings: if I've done it early enough in the evening, I kind of forget I did it then. Sometimes I've literally jumped out of bed like
BusySomethings: someone was at my bed screaming my name. I'm like, I gotta go downstairs and I will just run downstairs
WellReadHead: No, for me. It's embarrassing moments
WellReadHead: that for some reason that happened when I was like 10,
WellReadHead: and for some reason my brain picks that moment as I'm falling asleep to be like. Hey? You remember that time you pooped your pants?
WellReadHead: I don't know. It's just what happens
WellReadHead: It's just because my brain will give me like the thing I couldn't remember 6 years ago
Tallgirl6234: It's like, Oh, now that we've cleared through all the other stuff, we're going to let you have that thing that you know we wouldn't. The combination to your middle school locker was. And I'm like, really, now, really, okay, thanks.
Tallgirl6234: Didn't need that now. Needed it.
WellReadHead: Yeah, it's just one of those like
Tallgirl6234: Yeah, but I wish like to be a dude just once, to sit there and have no thoughts like that is my ultimate desire. If I ever was ever going to be a guy to just be like. Oh, no, there's nothing
WellReadHead: Yeah.
BusySomethings: I think it's only just guys. I think there are other I mean women, you know. There, you know, anyone could
BusySomethings: have those nothing moments. So I mean, I don't think it's just restricted to men done
WellReadHead: No, but it tends to be men that have a more frequent occurrence of that than women do. Women tend to
BusySomethings: But I don't know
WellReadHead: Like, psychologically speaking, from a scientific standpoint.
WellReadHead: Women, yeah, women tend to always have something on the brain versus
WellReadHead: we make lists in our head of what we should be doing.
BusySomethings: Oh, let's not talk about what I do during my sleep. I've literally
BusySomethings: alright guys. I planned out this whole thing that we were thinking of talking about.
BusySomethings: I've now run 3 different scenarios, and this is what I because also my sleeping, I can
WellReadHead: You lucid dream.
BusySomethings: Yeah, I I aware of what's going on. I'm aware I'm dreaming. If I don't like how the dream is going, I'm I tell myself. All right. This is a dream. Let's change it. So I'm gonna sit there and
BusySomethings: plan out things in my sleep. Sometimes.
BusySomethings: I think for me, I like
BusySomethings: in recent years it's been silence, silence.
BusySomethings: I mean, even as we're recording this, I have a dog who's
BusySomethings: overly protective of any noise or person who drives down the block
BusySomethings: because they might do me damage, so he's constantly barking but there's just people coming in and out of my house all the time, which is fine, you know.
BusySomethings: I'm not mad that they're here for me, I think to do. Nothing involves silence.
BusySomethings: I don't like lights on like it is going to be practically pitch black
BusySomethings: before my family members. Can we put a light on finally, like, Oh, yeah, I guess like, I just don't
BusySomethings: feel like I need the the, you know
BusySomethings: I would prefer natural light, but if I don't have that, I'll just like
BusySomethings: let it go down into darkness.
BusySomethings: But also, I think for me, one of my do. Nothing is also
BusySomethings: but for you. It's needle, not needle cross-stitch.
BusySomethings: You were saying for me. It's cooking and baking
BusySomethings: like that to me, like some people get stressed. There are times I just go in there, and I just. It's very relaxing to me
WellReadHead: Yeah, my mind tends to like like, I said, when my hands are busy like that.
WellReadHead: My mind tends to be calm, so I get that
BusySomethings: And and so I mean, granted, there's plenty of situations where the cooking or trying a new recipe
BusySomethings: gives you stress, and it is not coming, but that's 1 of my ways. I just
WellReadHead: Unwind.
BusySomethings: Yes, do you ever feel guilty about doing nothing? I mean, right. You mentioned a little bit, but
WellReadHead: It's not guilt so much as it is, trauma.
WellReadHead: It's trauma
BusySomethings: What you're feeling now is trauma. Just to be clear.
BusySomethings: this trauma and we both are like.
BusySomethings: That's why
Tallgirl6234: Yeah, we, we love your
BusySomethings: Oh, maybe your trauma, my trauma, go out and hang out sometime
WellReadHead: Yay!
BusySomethings: Why do you feel the trauma about
WellReadHead: It's being busy. Makes me feel like I'm in control of a situation versus my
WellReadHead: lack of busyness. I'm not. I'm not controlling what I can control.
WellReadHead: like I can't. If I'm sitting around on the couch staring out the window, I'm not
WellReadHead: taking control of my surroundings.
WellReadHead: So that's that's just what what my brain does.
BusySomethings: For me. It's not so much a control.
BusySomethings: but it would be more of depending on what's going on.
BusySomethings: If you know the holidays are coming up, and maybe I know I'm hosting.
BusySomethings: and I've been doing a lot of to prepare the house or buy groceries, or, you know, getting everything in order and sitting down.
BusySomethings: It's sometimes the guilt of all right
BusySomethings: if you sit down for 10/15 min. Sure, that's fine.
BusySomethings: But sitting down like an hour, hour or 2,
BusySomethings: when I know there's so much to be done. It's that I could have done this I could have accomplished.
BusySomethings: So it's not so much controlling. It's just like
BusySomethings: you could have been more productive like now.
BusySomethings: in later years I have learned that if my body's, you know.
BusySomethings: a day or so fine like like, if my body saying like, let's have an easy weekend or something cool now, if it's becoming all the time, then there's maybe something underlying issue that I need to address
BusySomethings: and to not the balance. A lot of you know, like everything, I think for me, it's about balance.
BusySomethings: So yes.
WellReadHead: Well.
BusySomethings: It is okay to do nothing for a day.
WellReadHead: Everything is about balance when it comes down to it.
BusySomethings: It should be, but not always
Tallgirl6234: I used to be a workaholic, and I have insomnia so like it was great because I did everything all the time, and then insomnia was like, well, you can't sleep so you can fit in all the housework, and the perk of having a house and living alone is, I can vacuum at 4 Am. And it interrupts nobody.
Tallgirl6234: And then it was like on the other side, now that I've learned to sleep, and I consistently actually get like 6 to 7 h of sleep. It's like all the other stuff piles up, and it's like you used to be able to get all this done like, why can't you get this done? And it was like.
Tallgirl6234: Oh, okay.
Tallgirl6234: So you know, we we swung from the one side
Tallgirl6234: to the other. And now, as an adult. It's like we'll find this middle ground where we come to like an understanding. But
Tallgirl6234: for years it was like, of course, I can get it all done. I was sleeping at most 2 h.
Tallgirl6234: which then inevitably, I would sleep like all day Sunday, because my body was like you will give us 24 h, or we will shut down your choice.
Tallgirl6234: and then we don't give you a choice
WellReadHead: Do you guys feel as though you have to justify your
WellReadHead: nothingness to other people so that they won't judge you for it?
Tallgirl6234: Sometimes I do because I have a touch of guilt. But usually I text, you guys, and you're like, continue on.
Tallgirl6234: And it's like. Oh, right? I'm really not supposed to feel bad about this like, culturally, we're supposed to feel bad like you shouldn't do nothing. You should always be like in perpetual motion
WellReadHead: Well, because our value to society lies in our productivity in in the Western capitalist society. Versus yeah.
Tallgirl6234: Like weirdly. I think Covid was good for me, because it did force me to be home, and it did force me to like chill out, and it was like, Oh, I can do this like it's possible. So
Tallgirl6234: I actually got a small little perk out of like, you can't go out, all day, every day.
WellReadHead: Yeah.
Tallgirl6234: Just took a global pandemic for me to be like. I can chill. Look at me, I can. I can chill
WellReadHead: You know what I think for a lot of people, though it it
WellReadHead: being forced to slow down and appreciate the things that you have around you versus
WellReadHead: the things that you're supposed to be doing all the time
WellReadHead: is is a side effect of covid that, particularly
WellReadHead: Workaholics are kind of going. I don't want to be that anymore.
WellReadHead: I don't want to do that anymore. That's not what's important to me.
Tallgirl6234: I will say, like the number of people who are like, you know, hashtag couch life kind of thing like they've also kind of normalized it like, I'm taking me time.
Tallgirl6234: Just a few years ago it would be like entitled One Percenter. What like? Oh, I'm taking time from. And now it's like, no, that's that's my self-care, like
Tallgirl6234: I have couch time, or I have glass of wine, or I have whatever it is like. This is the tool for me to get from stress to like, okay?
Tallgirl6234: And the people will vocalize it like, there's, you know, entire Tiktoks about how people kind of like. And this is how I
Tallgirl6234: wind off, wind down.
BusySomethings: Answering the question about justifying others. I think it depends who they are and how they
BusySomethings: what they understand your life to be.
WellReadHead: Because if I was to say to you 2
BusySomethings: Hey, I am like.
BusySomethings: you know, that same text. I'm like, Yeah, I'm doing nothing today. And you 2 be like fantastic. What is what is your nothing include? Maybe I need inspiration. But other people
BusySomethings: might see it based on what they think I should be doing if they know what list of things that I've been working on.
BusySomethings: or friends who they don't sit comfortable in.
BusySomethings: They can't sit still and do nothing. So then for me, the you know, they might say, like, Oh, you're gonna
BusySomethings: and the whole day not doing anything like really. So I think it depends
BusySomethings: who it is and how it's coming from, and I need to be aware of that. So if it's someone who I know cannot sit still.
BusySomethings: they, you know, for them. It's like, if I sit still, I'm gonna have to deal with thoughts in my head or
BusySomethings: look at life and be really disappointed stuff. And I can't, you know, like stuff like that, or if it's some, you know you you take
BusySomethings: stock of who's saying it and what's being said?
BusySomethings: so it depends. I think not usually. Usually, if if I'm gonna feel like I have to justify, it's gonna be to myself
BusySomethings: you hit me
Tallgirl6234: One Morning a coworker called, and it was 730, her time in California. And she's like, Hey, do you want to talk like? Do you want to catch up and like I text her. I'm like, I just want to set your expectation. I just got up
Tallgirl6234: and she's like.
Tallgirl6234: and I just, you know, like pulled into the baseball camp for my son at 730. My time, I'm like, it's 1030 my time. And I'm just getting up like, let's just set the expectation of where I'm at. And she's like.
Tallgirl6234: you know what? In a few years my kids will, whatever. But like I kind of wanted to express to her like, I'm just waking up
Tallgirl6234: and like I almost felt bad to be like. If you're texting me at 730 your time. You've probably been up since 530 like.
Tallgirl6234: and she was like, no, that's cool. And I was like, Oh, that's nice, because, like for her, that conversation I was like.
Tallgirl6234: oh, I feel like she's going to be like you're young. You should be doing stuff. Why are you still in bed? And then to just have her feedback of like. No, that's exactly what you should be doing on a Saturday morning. Yay, for you! I wish I could. I was like Oh.
BusySomethings: Okay. Thank you.
Tallgirl6234: You thank you for holding your judgment off
BusySomethings: Yeah. She listened and did not judge. Thank you.
WellReadHead: Correct, way to be Lady
Tallgirl6234: I also find like
Tallgirl6234: when one of my exes moved to Italy, like he has become much calmer and much more like
Tallgirl6234: it's just built into life that you have a later lunch. You have a longer lunch, you have a nap. He was much more. Go go. So now when he like we say something I was like, oh, you know, I was in bed until like 1030, and then I got up. And you know, like I did coffee and whatever he'd be like.
Tallgirl6234: And like, Yeah, that's how life is supposed to be. And I'm like.
Tallgirl6234: do you remember when you and I would only sleep like 2 hours a night, and we would be competitively workaholicing. And now, like seeing him move to Italy and seeing him embrace kind of like Italian culture to just like
Tallgirl6234: it is expected that you don't rush. It is expected that you savor like you should sit down and enjoy a meal, and you should have good conversation while doing it, and you should notice the seasons, and you should notice the change, and you should appreciate, like a flower on the side of the road for being beautiful like. Take the time.
Tallgirl6234: and you know he was a New York City boy, and for him to like move over to like, I'm just gonna appreciate this flower this afternoon, like
BusySomethings: Good for him.
Tallgirl6234: Think maybe I should retire to Italy.
WellReadHead: I mean I would
Tallgirl6234: I mean, who wouldn't really
WellReadHead: Yeah, one of those one of those castles that they're offering up for reconstruction, or whatever, and spend your time
WellReadHead: peacefully plastering
Tallgirl6234: Or just getting hammered at the local bistro
BusySomethings: I mean, that's fine, too
Tallgirl6234: I have a mattress back at my hovel. I'll be back tomorrow. It'll be fine
BusySomethings: Do you have any examples, either of you, where the plan was to do nothing, and
BusySomethings: it went all to hell
Tallgirl6234: Hmm!
Tallgirl6234: You mean like when you own a house, and like the second, everything's been quiet in your house, you know, to just go take out money because the boiler's gonna break or the roof is gonna leak, or like
Tallgirl6234: there are so many weekends where it's like this is going to be my weekend, and then your friends have drama, and something in your house breaks, and then, like, you know, the thing that wasn't delivered has to be delivered, and then, you know, like, and you almost like on the weekends where you openly state I'm doing nothing this Saturday. It's like the universe is like
WellReadHead: Yep, we had a couple of years back. Busy and I were
WellReadHead: having a quiet New Year's at her place, and
WellReadHead: we decided that we wanted to go get tattoos. Now a tattoo is one of those times where I can zone out and literally do nothing.
WellReadHead: because for some reason the sound of the tattoo needle and the physical sensation of being tattooed
WellReadHead: makes my brain turn off. And I and I just I can.
WellReadHead: I can sit for 5, 6 hours and get tattooed.
WellReadHead: So we went. We got tattoos
BusySomethings: And she was in the chair
WellReadHead: And I was in the chair
BusySomethings: I was done
WellReadHead: And you know one of our friends had a massive health issue and was in the hospital, and I'm sitting there with a needle drawing color into my arm.
BusySomethings: And I come back. I'm like, Hey, so that was tall girl.
BusySomethings: When you're done we gotta wrap this mother up and head to a hospital
BusySomethings: because one of our friends is having this major health issue is also, you know, pregnant and
BusySomethings: going through something, and we need to haul ass there and
WellReadHead: Yep.
BusySomethings: And that night I came home with their dog
Tallgirl6234: Huh!
BusySomethings: And had the dog living with me all of a sudden for a month and a half, while they were
BusySomethings: 1st in the hospital and then recovering at home. But
BusySomethings: yeah, that's a good example of when it was supposed to be a chill
WellReadHead: It was, in fact, a chill day until
BusySomethings: Until, it wasn't
WellReadHead: Until it wasn't. And actually we had like a spate of New Years that
WellReadHead: that had happened with several years in a row where
BusySomethings: It.
WellReadHead: Just it was
Tallgirl6234: Please stop bringing in the New Year with like activity.
Tallgirl6234: Everybody just wrap yourself in bubble wrap, and don't
WellReadHead: We try not to. But other people just
WellReadHead: yeah, no, there. There have been a number of times in that
BusySomethings: And just like stop talking to us on New Year's Day, because
WellReadHead: We put a moratorium on contact on New Year's Day.
BusySomethings: Like literally they were. It was 2 back to back years of life, threatening situations, situation.
WellReadHead: It was 3 years
BusySomethings: The one tattoo. The next year the the former friend from college
BusySomethings: What was the 3rd year
WellReadHead: Covid.
BusySomethings: No that was the
Tallgirl6234: No, no, it was
BusySomethings: No, it wasn't
Tallgirl6234: Yeah, it was because at the Christmas cookie swap some that
Tallgirl6234: 1st New Year's showed up, and we were talking and doing whatever. And it was like, Oh, and there's this weird plague out of China, like we're bringing back a plague. And then, like
BusySomethings: Oh, yeah, but that wasn't on New Year's Day. That was
WellReadHead: No, that's true.
BusySomethings: I'm saying like
WellReadHead: But we were all living in
BusySomethings: Something happened on New Year's Day, or we found out New Year's Day. Something happened on New Year's Eve.
WellReadHead: Yeah, it might have been just been 2 years at that point.
BusySomethings: It was. It was 3
WellReadHead: 3 years in a row of traumatic stuff happening like right around New Year's
BusySomethings: But please stop!
Tallgirl6234: And we really did. We all sat around in 2019 like 2019 or 2018, like 2019 is going to be the year, like all this crap in the drop, like everybody had stuff going on. Everybody at Cookie Swap was like 2019 is going to be like, I'm doing this. I'm paying off that we got this. I'm moving here. I'm doing this. And it was like.
Tallgirl6234: and I was like, this is what you get for talking about it, which is why I rarely discuss like this is my lazy weekend.
Tallgirl6234: I swear to God it's punishment from the universe
Tallgirl6234: way too many people were like 2019 is going to be our year, and the earth was like
WellReadHead: Haha!
BusySomethings: Now, I think also, when you like, you're saying, when you put it out there like this is going to be my day to do nothing, or I'm going to just do something simple, like all the laundry I have to do all the towels something like that. And then all of a sudden. A friend who lives like in another state or another country is like surprise. I'm just stopping by, or
BusySomethings: Hey.
BusySomethings: I need to talk to somebody, or Hey, can you babysit for me? I know it's like 30 min notice, but something just came up.
BusySomethings: or you know what I let's let's go out and like. But
BusySomethings: but you said you weren't doing anything. And you're like, Yeah, that's the plan
Tallgirl6234: Well, that or somebody just innocently texts you like. Oh, we were thinking of going whatever. And I'm like, Okay, and my pajamas are off like, okay, ready to go like, yep, like, yeah. What you say is like amazing. This once in a lifetime opportunity. Would you like to join us? Like. Of course I would.
Tallgirl6234: No let me stay home and miss it. Who would?
Tallgirl6234: Hmm.
Tallgirl6234: yeah, no, I like especially doing laundry is one of those like. I'll sit downstairs, and I will, because I I am slow to do laundry. I will admit it's piled and sorted, but I am slow to do laundry. I will sit down there with a book, and like the hum of like the whatever
Tallgirl6234: it's warm. I'm reading something. There's the tumble of the dryer, and it's just like laundry is getting cleaned. And it's like, technically, I'm doing something.
Tallgirl6234: But really, all I'm doing is hiding in my laundry room, getting reading done
BusySomethings: I mean, I gotta say for me doing towels
BusySomethings: while it is a chore. It's 1 of those things that's relaxing to me, because
BusySomethings: it's just put the towels in. They wash. I fold them, and I know where they're going in my house in the closet.
BusySomethings: and it's simple. There's nothing I don't need to really sort. I mean, like white, you know. Color wise, sure, if it needs to. But everything is just
BusySomethings: goes in, gets dried, folded and away
WellReadHead: I hate laundry with a passion
BusySomethings: Regular close. Yes, I agree with you, cause then I
WellReadHead: All laundry, screw, laundry. I want nothing to do with laundry
Tallgirl6234: I love laundry, I just never find the time to do it. It's like the lowest thing on the list. It's also why I have an obsessive number of clothes, but like
Tallgirl6234: I never used to be home. So it was like, Okay, well, you know
Tallgirl6234: But like gardening at the end of the day like as much as I hate sweating, and as much as I hate the bugs and the sun and the everything. There's a moment where you're like. You've gardened your cherries like your your cherry tomatoes are blooming, the flowers are up and like, after a day of breaking your back and sweating to death. You kind of just sit at the edge of the garden, and you're like, I control nature
BusySomethings: And that does nothing but gives me. I like to plan the garden. I want to plan what's going in it.
BusySomethings: I did not. My my father used to do the garden in our family. His mother did a garden. My mother's mother did a little garden, even in the cities they each had, like
BusySomethings: they found, some plot of land, and they had at least, you know, tomatoes, basil, parsley stuff of that nature.
BusySomethings: My brother loves to it.
BusySomethings: My mother Joy's doing it. Me I that Gene was skipped over me.
BusySomethings: I will. I like to see it. I like to take the produce and make things with it and preserve it and can it and whatnot. I'll find all the recipes. But the idea of being out there in the sun and bugs and dirt. Nope, it is not soothing to me
WellReadHead: I don't mind the harvest
Tallgirl6234: What?
WellReadHead: I don't mind the harvest
Tallgirl6234: If I could, I would guard it at midnight to avoid the sun
WellReadHead: Hmm.
Tallgirl6234: And if we could just uninvent bugs in my garden area I'd be twice as happy
Tallgirl6234: because you guys have
Tallgirl6234: see me. It looks like, I'm dying of a disease from all the mosquito bites by the end of summer.
Tallgirl6234: It's just
Tallgirl6234: is is that something we should be medically concerned about like. No, no, that's just. That's nature hates me, but
Tallgirl6234: I sincerely wish I could garden at night, or I had like a football stadium size greenhouse.
Tallgirl6234: I would probably live in it.
Tallgirl6234: making weeds understand that I am God To them is the happiest thing ever.
Tallgirl6234: Does nothing for me.
Tallgirl6234: lord and master, and I will, I will rip you out of the ground and show you who's boss
BusySomethings: Okay, that's a no for me, absolutely not
Tallgirl6234: Look. I also. Then, you know, grow an excessive amount of basil and just force it upon you guys. So
BusySomethings: That's true.
Tallgirl6234: There are.
WellReadHead: Not forced, it is not forced.
WellReadHead: it is 100% gracious, graciously received
BusySomethings: That's right.
Tallgirl6234: I had to actually turn down my hydroponic tower the other day, because I won't be here for a while.
Tallgirl6234: and it was so sad. It was like, oh.
Tallgirl6234: no, babies, you must die now.
BusySomethings: No, you know, as an Italian, I will never turn down fresh grown like Basil.
BusySomethings: I'll find something to do with it.
Tallgirl6234: Hmm.
WellReadHead: Absolutely.
BusySomethings: So anything else. When you think about doing nothing that
BusySomethings: warms your heart, or it gives you anxiety
BusySomethings: Could we just do nothing for like 30 seconds right now with our listeners, and just just sit here and not do anything
WellReadHead: Alright, everybody! Let's focus on our breath.
Tallgirl6234: Everything in my mind is like talk. Do something now NOW.
WellReadHead: No, no.
BusySomethings: Which way?
Tallgirl6234: So hard, why
WellReadHead: Would you guys
BusySomethings: No.
WellReadHead: Rather sit in silence for 3 h.
WellReadHead: or do an 8 h puzzle without a break
Tallgirl6234: Do I get to pick the puzzle and the place
WellReadHead: Yes.
BusySomethings: Is this silence? Just like I'm sitting there, but with nothing with me
WellReadHead: Hello, darkness. My old friend.
BusySomethings: Or is it like I'm sitting in silence, and I could have a book
Tallgirl6234: I like, how many questions we have about this, like we couldn't just simply answer the question. It's like, I need to know the temperature, the climate, the mood, the outfit.
BusySomethings: I I think that
WellReadHead: It would just be sitting there
WellReadHead: in silence for 3 h. You can pick the atmosphere, but you cannot.
WellReadHead: Read a book. Yeah, you can't do anything in your silence. You just have to sit there and be silent.
BusySomethings: Yeah.
Tallgirl6234: Have to go with 3 h. Because with the 8 h puzzle, I'm going to start cursing. I'm going to start doing
Tallgirl6234: gonna like, eventually be like, okay, I'm gonna finish this and I'm gonna frame it and matt it. Because if I just spent 8 h on this Gd puzzle, it's gonna hang in the entryway for people to marvel at
WellReadHead: That's fair.
Tallgirl6234: But I can do the sit still thing like
Tallgirl6234: I don't mind it. I would actually really like to have the 3 h to do that. So like
Tallgirl6234: That's all.
BusySomethings: Would be the 8 h puzzle red
WellReadHead: Yep, I would be the 8 h puzzle, because
Tallgirl6234: Because of the sense of accomplishment or like, because just
WellReadHead: No, because it would give me something to focus, but not focus on.
WellReadHead: So I could sit in silence for 8 h and do this puzzle a hundred percent
BusySomethings: But sit in silence and not do anything
WellReadHead: Yeah, that would be rough for me.
WellReadHead: That would be really rough for me.
Tallgirl6234: Yeah, I'm going to go to a museum and park myself in front of one of my favorite paintings, and you might have to remind me 8 h later, to like get up and stop staring at something so beautiful like
WellReadHead: Yeah.
Tallgirl6234: Yeah, I would just get so frustrated with the puzzle there would definitely be cursing
BusySomethings: I would. I mean I would do the puzzle. But if you're giving me an option of what would I prefer?
BusySomethings: Probably the 3 h.
BusySomethings: That's a whole 8 h just doing a puzzle could do it, of course.
WellReadHead: Tend to hyper focus on things, anyway.
WellReadHead: like, I won't just read a book. I will read a series of books in a day.
WellReadHead: So if
Tallgirl6234: Gotten older. I won't read a series in a like. If a book is going to be a series, I will wait for the last book, because there's nothing that breaks me more than like the Cliffhanger at a book. And then.
Tallgirl6234: like you go to the author's
Tallgirl6234: website, and they're like. And the next book will be out in 2029, and I'm like
WellReadHead: Listen. I'm a game of thrones, fan or not a game of I'm a song of ice and fire fan. I have been waiting
WellReadHead: for 20 years
BusySomethings: Is it really that long.
WellReadHead: Not quite. I'm being hyperbolic, but it it might be
WellReadHead: actually it might be 20 years. I oh, God!
BusySomethings: From from when he started the series, or from the last one
WellReadHead: From the last book
Tallgirl6234: I opened some book, and it was like, you know, she was like, and to my readers I'm sorry, but by the end of this book, I decided I wanted to continue so like the next book comes out, I literally closed the cover and was like, Nope.
Tallgirl6234: I'll sign up for your newsletter, and when you tell me Book 3 in the series is over, then I'll start to read like I don't. I've gotten that Netflix kind of thing like if I'm going to zone out, and if I'm going to read a series I want to read it to completion. I don't want to have to
BusySomethings: So it's been 14 years red since the last
Tallgirl6234: I mean, it's close enough
WellReadHead: So I wasn't far off. Yeah.
WellReadHead: I was just googling that myself.
WellReadHead: Yeah.
Tallgirl6234: Anticipation.
WellReadHead: Antici...
Tallgirl6234: 14 years, and counting
WellReadHead: ...pation
Tallgirl6234: Hey! Hey!
WellReadHead: What about you guys? Any? Would you rathers from you guys
Tallgirl6234: What
Tallgirl6234: is your version of relaxation? Hell like? What is the thing that you're like? If you put me in a meditation chamber, or like one of those salt caves, or like, if you do reiki on me like, what is your one where you're like? This is the opposite of relaxation for me, I would actually become more stressed
BusySomethings: I think one thing that frustrates me is what I'm
BusySomethings: enjoying silence, or I'm doing nothing. And then someone drops by, or, you know, people come into the room
BusySomethings: and they're like, Oh, I'm just, gonna you know, I'm waiting for something. I'm just gonna wait here. And then noise starts happening.
BusySomethings: And all of a sudden, like
BusySomethings: the silence that I had is no more.
BusySomethings: And they're like, Well, you're not. You're just doing nothing, so I can
WellReadHead: When someone wants to talk to you about the book you're reading.
WellReadHead: I have so many curse words I want to say right now. Oh, right yeah.
BusySomethings: When you're reading it, or about it.
WellReadHead: While you're reading it. And someone starts asking you questions about the thing that you're reading.
WellReadHead: Like I. I am the type of person that I will take a book anywhere.
WellReadHead: and that's 1 of the things that I love about smart devices is because I I always have a book on hand, so I will be out to dinner, or I will be at a bar, or I will be somewhere.
WellReadHead: and I'll be reading, and someone will inevitably walk up to me and say.
WellReadHead: What are you reading? Or oh, I've read that! What do you think about it? Or I love discussing books in general, but if I'm in the middle of reading something, and you have just interrupted me to ask me
WellReadHead: what I'm reading, I may throw the book at you
Tallgirl6234: Oh, I heard she dies at the end. Is that true?
WellReadHead: Oh, my God!
Tallgirl6234: I'm on Chapter 4, you will die
WellReadHead: Oh, my God!
Tallgirl6234: She won't die, but you will
WellReadHead: I? Yeah, no it if I am, especially if I'm deep in a book like on a good thick
WellReadHead: hardcover book, and someone tries to talk to me about what I'm reading, I will
WellReadHead: inwardly lose my effing mind
BusySomethings: Wow!
Tallgirl6234: Trying to remember if I've ever asked you what your
BusySomethings: Right. I'm I'm right now, Psych-.
Tallgirl6234: I'm having a lifetime of panic. I'm like, of all the times I've seen her reading. Did I actually ask
BusySomethings: I'm like, Oh.
Tallgirl6234: I actually asked her, did I just leave her alone
BusySomethings: Like. I'm like, all right when we've been on trips like, I don't think she means like if we're quiet time in the morning, and one of us is reading. I'm like, Hey, I'm making coffee. Would you like some like? Not that stuff. I think that's okay. But
WellReadHead: That's okay. But if you like.
BusySomethings: I don't make the coffee usually, but because I don't drink it, I can make it. But normally, that's your
BusySomethings: your task. So. But I'm like, all right, I'm I'm cooking this or
BusySomethings: keep like that. I think it's okay. But now I'm like sitting here like, Oh, my God, let me go review 20
BusySomethings: plus years of knowing someone and
WellReadHead: Sorry to ratchet up your anxiety, guys. No, no, neither one of you has ever.
WellReadHead: If you've interrupted, it's because you had a pertinent
WellReadHead: question to ask or thing to say that you've never so whatca
Tallgirl6234: Find that relaxing
WellReadHead: Doing like I'm I literally have a book in my hand. Whatcha doing? Are you kidding me
Tallgirl6234: Plotting your death.
WellReadHead: Are you? Yes.
WellReadHead: I am right now. I am envisioning you up against a grater. A cheese grater. That's what I'm doing
BusySomethings: Bit violent, but you know
WellReadHead: Effective.
BusySomethings: That's the worst thing
Tallgirl6234: Like the next time we're together and you're reading, I'm gonna give you like a 50 foot cone of silence, just like in absolute terror that is like. Don't ask, don't ask, don't even don't make eye contact with her
WellReadHead: So I rarely, unless unless it's quiet time
WellReadHead: on vacation. I rarely read with other people around anymore, because I inevitably get interrupted
WellReadHead: So yeah, I I plus, I think it's a bit rude
WellReadHead: to. If you're in a social setting where you are in close contact with people
WellReadHead: like on a vacation to just whip out a book and start reading when
WellReadHead: everybody else is having a conversation.
WellReadHead: I think that's a bit rude, so I won't do that. But
BusySomethings: Depends on the conversation.
BusySomethings: What
BusySomethings: it depends on the people and the conversation, because you may not want to hear what I'm saying or thinking
WellReadHead: That is never true.
BusySomethings: Not not 2 of you. I'm just saying we're talking in, you know.
BusySomethings: Yeah.
WellReadHead: In general. Yeah, that's fair.
WellReadHead: That's fair.
Tallgirl6234: I think, for me, and after years of meditation and sound waves, and all the hippy, dippy kind of stuff I I want to be able to tolerate Reiki, or having people
Tallgirl6234: pull the bad spots of my aura out.
Tallgirl6234: It frustrates me like no other
BusySomethings: I I cannot
Tallgirl6234: I can't like. Do you feel me healing your liver like? No, but I feel you're breathing on me way too close. Go away! Go away like I
Tallgirl6234: stop talking impressed.
Tallgirl6234: Oh, that is a when when you're getting a massage
BusySomethings: And the need of.
BusySomethings: But I will say
WellReadHead: Oh, the masseuse is chatty
BusySomethings: Yes, and it's it's hmm like, listen, if you have a client who wants to talk, go for it.
BusySomethings: But I feel like there should be like a checkbox. If you're doing like the pre masseuse, you know, like the pre massage
BusySomethings: check in and be like, are you in a chatty mood, or do you want me like unless you ask me? I'm fine with you. Say, like, is the pressure too much? Or is this too loud? Something like that, like we're trying to pre
BusySomethings: or you tell me, like, you know, flip over. I'm gonna do the cool, but I don't
WellReadHead: Want to hear about your latest breakup.
BusySomethings: No.
WellReadHead: No.
Tallgirl6234: Okay.
Tallgirl6234: At these Prices, absolutely not.
BusySomethings: Listen now, beforehand we could chat cool. I learned about
BusySomethings: I don't know what it was. One of the times I went, and
BusySomethings: it was around Saint Patrick's day, I think, last year, and the woman mentioned something, and I said what I something I was cooking, and you know.
BusySomethings: and then we just went down. Of course, this whole path about her heritage, and I started telling her about places where she could buy things that are Irish products here, and she's like, How did you know I'm like.
BusySomethings: well, and then we go down that path? But then, as soon as you know, we're in the zone. Zip it
BusySomethings: like that, is frustrating
WellReadHead: Absolutely.
Tallgirl6234: I don't Mind the talking, but like the international rule is, if there's like crystal ball sounds or trickling water sounds, or if you're intentionally playing Enya.
Tallgirl6234: I feel like you should just intrinsically know to
Tallgirl6234: not talk like if you're playing
Tallgirl6234: easy listening classics and soothing whatever like just
BusySomethings: Absolutely.
WellReadHead: Absolutely, I think. I think probably one of my
WellReadHead: deepest desires is a sign to hang around my neck
WellReadHead: just like it's quiet time now.
WellReadHead: Do not
Tallgirl6234: Disturb. This means you. No, this means all
WellReadHead: When I was
Tallgirl6234: Instructions.
WellReadHead: One of my former roommates got me a mug
WellReadHead: cause we had a rule in the morning because they were a morning person, and I am not
WellReadHead: by and large
WellReadHead: Where there was no talking before coffee.
WellReadHead: So the mug actually had levels of coffee on it. It's like, Shh!
WellReadHead: No, no, still quiet. Okay. Now you can talk.
WellReadHead: You're talking before coffee.
Tallgirl6234: I would say, even coffee is kind of a relaxation thing like the problem
WellReadHead: Oh, yeah
Tallgirl6234: It is like a slow little kind of like meditation to waking up like getting your mind geared up for the day, like, I know people like it's coffee I'm like, no, there's a reason I manually make coffee like there is a whole thing to it.
Tallgirl6234: Leave me alone with my coffee.
Tallgirl6234: That is me time right there in a cup that helps you live
WellReadHead: I drink coffee for everyone else's sanity.
Tallgirl6234: It's for your safety if I'm caffeinated
WellReadHead: Coffee - because murder is wrong.
Tallgirl6234: Is it I mean really? Is it
WellReadHead: Sometimes.
Tallgirl6234: On the next episode why we should be allowed to be serial killers just
BusySomethings: On the on the next talk. Tall girls, questionable morals.
WellReadHead: And that's a wrap on today's episode. Join us next time when we discuss our cringy teenage phases
Tallgirl6234: If you enjoy this episode, subscribe, leave a review, or at least tell a friend who's looking for some background noise while lounging around
BusySomethings: Want to hear more, join us on Patreon, for where we might be motivated to add stories exclusive content, and behind scene cast
WellReadHead: See you next time
Tallgirl6234: Until then stay sensible.
BusySomethings: Or embrace the chaos
WellReadHead: Preferably both
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