JJ60 Ep 18 Laughter is the Best Medicine
Hi everyone, and welcome to another episode of Joyous Journeys over 60. I'm Jane Rae and I'm here with my podcast partner, Andrea Stein. How are you, Jane? I am very well today. And, um, today we're going to try to be a little funny. Maybe we try to be, uh, emphasize the right word. Uh, you know, it's funny, we're laughing, but, um, you know, they say laughter is the best medicine. Yes. You know, in in our spiritual tradition in the Old Testament, there is this proverb, A cheerful heart is a good medicine. Uh, you know, cheerfulness, laughter. It's not just. Yeah, it's nice. It brings healing to our heart, to our bodies, to to our relationships. Being able to have humor, to laugh. Uh, there's real power in that. Yeah. And sometimes it's it's it's kind of hilarious to find humor in things that perhaps other people might not find humorous. Like, I was on Facebook the other day and. And I forget what it was. It was some video about a dog and a cat and how they were, uh, interacting with each other and, and, you know, I don't know, I just started laughing out loud. Now, you might have seen the same thing and thought it was funny. Or maybe you didn't think it was as funny as I thought it was. But, you know, finding humor in simple things, I think is something that we should all strive for first of all. But I think also as we get a little bit older, you know, the stereotype of the grumpy old person is is a real stereotype. You know, everybody thinks that we're just grumpy old people. We weren't that grumpy when we were younger. Right. Do you consider yourself grumpy? I can be grumpy, but you can be grumpy. Be grumpy. But, um. And my husband has a sweatshirt that, you know, says grumpy old man, right? Yeah. Uh, but, you know, you talk to a lot of people and you interact with a lot of people that are, you know, of an age. Um, and it's not that you find that they're grumpy, but, I don't know, cynical, maybe a little bit more cynical than we were when we were younger. Maybe things that I thought were hilarious when I was younger. I don't find funny now. I don't know, what do you think? I think it's harder to just laugh, to have the lightness in life. You know, when you get older, then at a younger age. Part of it is you've grown cynical. You have seen not just the good side of life. You've seen not just the bad side of life. You have seen the really ugly side of people experiences and. If you're paying attention. This can give birth to cynicism in you. And, you know, and cynicism kind of kills that lightness that because you see something negative wherever you look, that's part of it. I think part of it is also, you know, once we grow older, I find it in myself. So I'm 53. That's considered young for many. Uh, but I've gotten to the age where some part in my body is always hurting. Uh, you know, it just it changes. Which part is hurting today? But something is hurting all the time. And when you have pain, it's hard to to laugh, to enjoy, you know, because if you make the wrong movement. Oh, my God, my knees are killing me. Ah. You know, or something. So part of it is that reality of pain is just always around when you're 25. I mean, you just run up this flight of stairs not thinking a second. Now, every step I take. All right. Which foot goes first? Right. Which knee is hurting today? Should I first start with the left or with the right foot? You know, and you know, you start to think this through really well, you know. So I think that makes I think it's harder. You really have to intentionally look for something to laugh about, be humorous about, you know, versus at younger ages, these things just seem to come more naturally. Yeah. I don't disagree with you. I think that as you get older, you know, been there, done it, seen it. Yeah. So that's part of the cynicism. And then I think also, you know, when, when you, when you think and I mean, you use the word think when you think that the most joyous part of your life is behind you. Great point that it is hard to find humor or joy or laughter in what's ahead of you. And and that's a shame because, uh, and, you know, also, when you're younger, everything's new. Right, right. So that you've heard the joke for the first time, or you've seen that show for the first time, or, you know, you did something silly for the first time. And by the time you're our age, you've done a bunch of silly things. Uh, thankfully, you've made it through it. Uh, but but it's not new anymore. And so, as part of the losing, maybe your sense of humor is you feel like that part is behind you. And sometimes that part is not behind you, but buried inside of you, under layers of experiences, challenges, battles. I think I just thought about a lady I used to know quite well. I actually just referenced her, you know, this past weekend in a speech I gave. You know, she used to be the most outgoing, fun loving, great person imaginable. She was the light of the party, laughing every chance she could get. And, you know, and then relationships were unkind to her and other challenges were there. And when you would see her, suddenly that fun loving, outgoing, bubbly person turning to the opposite, there was this chip on his shoulder and her eyes were defeated. And you just got the opposite vibe. You know I hate life. And I just saw a picture, a few pictures of her. I was so elated because there were silly pictures, she and her husband doing silly stuff together. And some of that silliness told me, you've gotten through this. You're silly again. You know, there's just. Something. If you can laugh, if you can be silly. I think there's it's a sign that you're on the right track. If we lose that ability to be silly, to laugh, to have fun, to be humorous. I think I think we've lost a lot about what life is supposed to be about. Yeah, I think at this stage, it's easy to take life too seriously. Yes. Um, and, you know, you should. I mean, there are certain things in life you have to take seriously that you can't just laugh off. But I think we lose that inner child that just finds things funny. What do you. What do you laugh at these days? Well, you know, uh, I similar like you. Uh, I love and laugh when I observe. If you have a dog and a cat at home and just seeing them interact, you know, and seeing them play stuff together to play together, you know, they get along for the most part, but sometimes they get on each other's nerves. You know, uh, just seeing how that plays out, you know, and it's like two little children fighting with each other. Not in a nasty, aggressive way, but you realize you got on my nerves. I'll show you type of deal, you know? And it just makes me laugh. It just makes me laugh. You know, I, uh, but I've also found out humor. What we laugh about is very individual. You know, some of the stuff that makes me laugh out loud, I try to tell my wife and. And she looks at me with rolling eyes that. So what's funny about that? Why are you laughing? Uh. That's stupid. Uh, literally. You know, it doesn't make any sense. It's it's it's funny. And. No, it really ain't. You know, and so there is a very individual quality, but. Silly and funny. And to me, the person closest to you may think you've lost your mind. It's just the opposite of funny. Well, it is funny. No pun. Um. To. To realize that, you know, some of what makes us laugh, you know, particularly at this age, are pets and kids. Yes. Right. Which I mean. Yeah. Think about it. Pets and kids are the purest sense of joy there is. Yes. They don't know any differently. Right? So same thing. We have a puppy, and, you know, he makes me laugh all the time. Sometimes he makes me cry. But that's a whole different story. Right. Um, but, you know, just watching his his antics, you know, his shenanigans, um, because it's so pure. I mean, there's so pure, there's nothing, you know, there's nothing that influences it. And and like you said, you know, he'll go after one of the cats and, you know, he'll be playful with them. And the cat's like, I'm not dealing with this, but it is kind of fun to watch because again, it is pure. I do an F year old grandson and I FaceTime with him all the time, and you know, he'll call me out on things like he showed me a plastic thing and he said, well, gee, gee, what is that? And I said, it's a monkey. He goes, no, it's an orangutan. Okay. I started laughing, you know, because it's pure. Right. Right. There is a pureness in taking humor out of it. Sometimes we feel that today's humor is maybe, you know, TV shows or comedians or whatever. Um, you know, it's I guess it's a little bit of a symptom of getting older or a little too raw, a little bit too profane. Um, you know that we don't find their humor to be our humor, but I don't think we need to judge. I mean, so I was born, raised in Germany. But you don't need to waste your time watching what I think is funny. But I guess the message is find what makes you laugh, right? Because it's it is easy to kind of tamp down that part of you. Yes. You know, again, life is serious. And as you get older and as you're entering into this chapter, there's a lot of serious things ahead of you. There are a lot of serious things you're probably facing right now. And you're looking back on the past with longing, right? You're looking back on the past with, um, you know, oh, those were the best of times. Um, and they were they were amazing. And, um, and you, you you did things and you experienced the world, and you celebrated with people, and you laugh with people, and you, uh, socialized with people. And there was just a lot of of just good feelings. And yes, there were times, you know, we're not going to we're not going to paint that up as there's only that. Right. But but if you really think back on those times where you just felt comfortable and happy because laughter makes you happy, even if just for a split second, it makes you happy. Have you lost that? Have you lost your sense of humor? I guess is the question. You know, for me. A wasted or lost day is a day without laughter. There was nothing to laugh about. Once we get to a more advanced age, we may have to find things. It doesn't come naturally to us. We may actually have to work to find something to laugh about. Because the thing that's obvious is hurting my. My hand is killing me, whatever else there is. And I need to go to a doctor. And, you know, all of these problems are there. But still, for me, a day of that is wasted as a day without laughter, you know, and I and many days I, I'm not able to do it, but I try to every day find something just to, to laugh about. And it's not like I'm sitting down. All right. What can I laugh about right now? It just becomes more part of a natural way of being. But I do believe there is truly a very spiritual essence in laughter. This is not just what we series and work on this problem. There is true spiritual healing power in laughter and humor. And if we sacrifice that, if we lose, that we lose one of the greatest sources of spiritual power in our lives. And but the good news is. We can rediscover it at any time. It's never too late. I mean, we can find something to laugh about today and tomorrow. So you can always start this again. It's never too late. Yeah, and sometimes you have to laugh at yourself. Yeah, absolutely. And I do that all the time. I'm sure you do. Uh, well, I do something silly or I do something wrong. Um. It's like. Oh, man. Silly me, airhead, you know? Like, sometimes it's okay to laugh at yourself. I, you know, have my community garden, and some things have gone really well there, and some things have gone really badly there. And I have to kind of, you know, I'll talk to the people in the garden and I have to kind of make fun of myself and say, I'm never growing cherry tomatoes ever again, because what a fail that was. But also being able to, you know, kind of laugh at yourself is also very therapeutic because, again, life is very serious and not everything needs to be taken seriously. So what, my cherry tomatoes were a bust this year. Big deal. Right? Big deal. I had to, you know, back in Omaha, uh, before we moved down to Florida. We had a big backyard and had a very large garden. You know, when I planted everything, I mean, I could plan. I mean, every vegetable you could think of, I put it in there, planted it. And as it is, every year, you start with the best of intentions. I weed this thing every day and I will not let any weed grow. And then life gets busy. And then you forget to weed for two weeks and this whole thing is overgrown. I cannot find whatever. Uh, I just let it. Uh, vegetables still grow and they will still look good. But I remember once, you know, I don't know what crossbreeding happens between these natural plants, because suddenly there were some stuff that fell to the ground that looked like a large egg, and I. What in the world is this? And I ask a neighbor, a friend, oh my God, we may just have bred a dinosaur. You know, we got so scared of it. Let's get rid of this. Who knows what comes out of this? I have no idea what it is. I asked several seasoned gardeners, so some natural crossbreeding happened. I did not want to find out what comes out of this thing if I cut it open or whatever. I don't know, baby dinosaur again. Yeah, I was serious. You know, sometimes you just laugh about your own failures, your own attempts of being good at stuff, you know, and some again, I mean, it's, uh, the bottom line is it doesn't matter what you laugh about, but you need to laugh. You need to have fun. If you don't, you miss out on one of the greatest gifts of God. Why did God create you and me and us with the ability to laugh if he wouldn't want us to use it? Um. And God created us with the ability to cry. And there are times we cry, and God created us with the ability to laugh out loud. That means that's part of God's design to laugh, to have fun, to have humor. And again, can't emphasize enough how therapeutic it is. Yeah, that when you're laughing, you actually lose. You know, they say when you sneeze. When you cry. When you laugh, you lose a little bit of control over your body. Yes. Which is okay. Right? Because we're always trying to be in control. And if you're finding yourself at that point in your life where you just don't feel there's anything to laugh at. Yeah. The interesting thing that I've noticed is the ability of social media to make people laugh. Yeah. So if you don't have if you're like, well, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to laugh. Go on like TikTok or Instagram or Facebook and and follow like these dog and cat, um, you know, uh, videos. There's one there's a woman who crochets, uh, hats for her dogs. Mhm. Um, and then she feeds them like she crocheted broccoli and then she fed them broccoli. And then, you know, she'll narrate the fact that they don't like broccoli, but um, but, but they're a little simple one minute opportunities to find laughter and, and if you're not finding it around you then look for it. Um, you see people, you know, on their phones in the doctor's office chuckling because they're, you know, following something they saw on Facebook or some meme or you know, hopefully nothing too serious. But you actually have to kind of allow yourself that kind of a release. People share on social media what made them laugh and because it made them laugh. Chances are it may be funny to you as well. I found it funny. I mean, it made me laugh. I sent it to Daniella without saying. Ah, a friend of mine posted it. It says, uh. The other day I was struggling to get the attention of my wife. I just sat down on the couch and looked comfortable. That did the trick. Uh, I said to Hilaria, every husband gets it right away. Uh, yep. That's exactly what it is. Yep. Just sit down. Look comfortable. Your wife will talk to you. Uh, it's funny you say that because. And I don't know if this is right or wrong, but Sean and I often will, like, be sitting in the living room perfectly quiet on our phones, and then we'll go, oh, let me show you this. And he'll point the phone at me, or I'll point the phone at him, because it's just something funny that we we saw. So social media, whether you like social media, you don't like social media. It has a place in helping you find funny things, right? Um, so tell me a joke that you laugh about. Oh, I'm a terrible jump on your jewelry, but the one that I posted the other day, somebody had shared it. It was about dogs, and it says the greatest thing about a dog is you could walk into a room and like, pretend you're celebrating and your dog has no idea what the context of that is, but is ready to celebrate with you and is always ready to party. And I just laughed. I just thought of my dog and I thought, yep, Cosmo is always ready to party with you, right? And even as I was like doing it, I was reading it. DeShawn Cosmo was there like, hey, is it party time now? Um, so again, it is easy to fall into the trap. Yes, right of the seriousness of life. Yeah, you might have even experienced it in younger points in your life, like when you were building your career and everything was so serious, or, you know, uh, you know, one of the things about college that I think is really funny is that, you know, college is that time where you're going to, you know, study and do all your academics. But if you notice, on most college campuses, there's a lot of hilarity going on, right? There's a lot of shenanigans going on. It's to break the tension. Oh, absolutely. Of life. Um, so if you find yourself falling into the trap where just. You feel like nothing makes you laugh and everything is so serious. Maybe you're going through an illness. Maybe you've had some challenges in your life, or a tragedy or something like that. I know it's hard to be able to pull yourself up and find something to laugh about. Uh, and maybe you feel there isn't anything to laugh about. Go watch a dog. Uh, something on Facebook or TikTok or whatever, because it just takes you away from your troubles for a few minutes. Watch an old episode of Seinfeld or Big Bang Theory there on TV everywhere. Just allow yourself to just step away from the everyday, from whatever life is pressing at you, and just find something to laugh at. If we lose our sense of humor, I feel like we've lost the the the race with life, right? If we've lost our ability to laugh, if we've lost our ability to find joy, if we've lost our ability to think the past is all will ever have. Then we're losing. And you know, we call this joyous journeys over 60 for a reason, right? Right. Um, because there's a lot more joy and there's a lot more love, is there? So tell me a joke now. You're better. All right, I'll tell you a joke. I you know, I found out some jokes, get you into trouble. Uh, this joke, I always wonder, but it's, uh, kind of a joke. Uh, you know, it's. It's about a pastor. He's preaching a sermon in the middle of the sermon. Thunder, lightning. Uh, all of these things happen, and suddenly they are right in front, in the middle of everyone, in the middle of this little church building. Satan himself came. Everyone ran away scared. Everyone was in fear. Everyone was running out of the building as far away as I can. The pastor just stood still. I'm not afraid at all. Satan was confused. You aren't afraid of me? No I'm not. Do you know who I am? I know who you are. You know that I'm evil personified. Oh, yeah, I know that. Why are you not afraid of me? I'm married to your sister. Okay, well, I could get you in trouble. I could get you in big trouble. Uh. I'm not talking about myself. I'm married to the sweetest, best, genuine person there is. But it is funny. I, you know, and again, some people. But it is funny. Like my husband will show me dad jokes. Husband jokes, you know, things like you just discussed. Because that makes him laugh. Yeah. And even though I look at him and roll my eyes, you know, I'm kind of chuckling behind the scenes as well because, again, you can't take life too seriously. It is not meant to be taken seriously. Even the joke that I said is not a serious thing. So seriously, you know what? There's a lot of serious stuff in life. There is. And there's lots of reasons to not laugh. Um, go ahead and find your new or regain your sense of humor, because that's what gets you through the hard times. Yes. Anyhow. Thank you. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing with you. There we go. Um. And I do hope that you know that you've enjoyed kind of just talking about, uh, laughing. But don't talk about it. Right. Tap into your inner child and go out there and laugh. Yes. So, as always, thank you for listening to Joyous Journeys over 60. I'm Jane Wray and I'm with Andrea Stein. And have a great day. I'm telling Danielle. Oh, she actually asked me to tell.