Tiny Hands, Big Excuses ===

Regan: [00:00:00] Hello everybody and welcome to the Mr Pick, me and the Man Hater Show. This is Reagan, AKA, the man hater. Even though I don't hate men and

Chesko: I am Checo, also known as Mr. Pick Me, even though I've already been picked. Fingers crossed I don't mess up this time. Uh, but I, you know, I think we're a little bit off topic here and I wanna get back on track and oh

Regan: my

Chesko: God, welcome you all to our amazing radio show that nobody can see video of.

And for some reason, for some reason Reagan is just messing up this intro after I did a perfect thing. I think you're taking my joke a little bit too, uh, to heart here, and I think we just need to move on and start the episode. What do you think?

Regan: Um, gosh, I sure love visual pranks on an

Chesko: audio podcast.

Regan: Anyway, needs to know. Jessica has decided. Get outta [00:01:00] here. Jessica has decided stop. Jessica's decided to bring out his tiny hand finger puppet things. And uh, yes, he is now scratching his beard with these tiny hands, so, God

Chesko: dang it. They fit on my fingers. They're really cool.

Regan: I thought we had it and then the hands emerged.

That's horrifying looking. That's,

Chesko: if you wanna see this, go to our YouTube and

Regan: he has at least four sets of tiny hands. The fingers crossed. One is too much. Truly. Oh,

Chesko: I got that in my Easter basket. So blame my wife.

Regan: No, I shall not. I shall blame you.

Chesko: Just kidding. We should never blame her for anything that I do.

That's stupid.

Regan: You know that's true.

Chesko: It's true. I, and that, that was a, that was, that was being genuine. Reagan, are you ready for our episode?

Regan: I don't know.

Chesko: Can you compose yourself?

Regan: Can you keep your [00:02:00] tiny hands to yourself, please?

Chesko: Not the first time that sentence has been said to me.

Regan: I'm sure it is. I'm sure you have tried over hands.

Chesko: I do like catcher's. MITs for the record. Not true. Uh, anyways, uh, let's talk about some really terrible dating advice today. Theme song.

Other: You want bad advice, man? I'll give it out. Glad I got some good advice for you. You don't, you don't. I don't. I You

Regan: don't. Are you gonna pay for my therapy? Because that was so much just then

Chesko: our listeners will love it.

Regan: Yes. They will love the tiny hands. They cannot see. [00:03:00] I need to stop being so hopeful with these intros. 'cause I really thought

Chesko: I carried us that time

Regan: with your tiny hands.

Chesko: They

carried us with our what? My tiny,

Regan: it's so dumb

Chesko: for, for the record. It actually genuinely was my wife's suggestion to use the hands.

Regan: I can't believe she's betrayed me like this. I know,

Chesko: I know. She was like, you should use the hands in the, in the intro.

Regan: I'm gonna have to text her later. It's

Chesko: getting hard. We're like 50 plus episodes into this. How I, I have to be creative. New ways to ruin our talking or,

Regan: or just let it go. Well, imagine

Chesko: I did that on our one year anniversary.

Regan: Oh, you know what? You sound like weaponized and competent on our anniversary. I did it right. Okay.

Chesko: That's true. What? You

Regan: want me to do it more than one day a year? Please. That's,

Chesko: that's as good as I get. The funniest thing is it's, I put way more effort into messing it up than it w It's so I'm actually working harder.

I. Two messes. I guess that is [00:04:00] weaponizing confidence. 'cause they, it is more work oftentimes to be, but this is, but this is for the fans.

Regan: Oh, at my expense.

Chesko: Is it at your expense? You were laughing. Were you angry?

Regan: I can't tell.

Chesko: After the podcast is over, do you leave? I'm like, this is the last time. Never again wife.

You will not

Regan: believe

Chesko: what this man

Regan: has done to me. Oh, this mother, he had these little hands. He, that's exactly how the conversation would go. I'd be like, you will not believe this. Guess what he had? Oh, that was going great. And all of a sudden these tiny hands enter frame and then I look like the idiot.

Or sound like the idiot. Ugh. It's fine. I will

Chesko: be interested to hear how that sounds on just audio where it's just you start crying.

Regan: You love, you love when I look bad. Even though you've done it

Chesko: well, it's, it's rare that I'm the one that looks good on this podcast. Let's go ahead and listen to that video.[00:05:00]

Ah, that video.

Regan: Let's get that video now. Okay?

Chesko: Okay. I'm

Regan: gonna hate this. I can already tell by the look of this, man, you, you will absolutely. His pants are too tight. He has too many buttons down on his button. Down the haircut is confusing to me, and he has a large bushy man beard. There's a lot going on there.

For me personally as a lesbian. I don't need to see all that from him. Thank you. Okay, let's do this.

Other: All right guys. This is interesting. When you're ready to find a woman in our culture, you know, we tell our mom or our sister, you know, I'm ready, and they start shopping around and looking for, for a bride for you, the best place to send your sister or your mom is not to a wedding.

You know, that's the worst spot to try to find a woman because all the makeup and the fake eyelashes and the cover up and all that. You know, you're not gonna get a real woman over there. You know where the best spot is to find a real genuine lady at a funeral. You'll see her natural beauty [00:06:00] there. You'll see her natural instincts, her wellbeing.

I've been to, sadly, a lot of funeral ceremonies and you know, sadly, there's girls over there, there, you can smell their perfume all the way outside before you even come inside. And their lashes are about to touch their, their lips and, you know, all decked out. Come on. You know, and they can't even, they're not even there from the heart.

If at a funeral home she's dressed to impress. All right guys, little tipper,

Regan: there's an eagle yell and a lion's roar at the end.

Other: A lot

Chesko: to unpack.

Regan: Uh, this literally was a theme in Wedding Crashers, where the lowest of the low was funeral crashing.

Chesko: Mm-hmm. Being now offered. And it's, it's a great example about how parody has now died.

Regan: RIP, but he can pick up girls at parody funeral. So there you go.

Chesko: This is quite literally a video I would make mocking these, these dating coaches. Like if I was doing it as like a [00:07:00] satirical, you know, this is the issue. I have a a, a substack, right? And I made a, I made a video, uh, or not video, I made a, a, I wrote an article from the perspective of Jordan Peterson explaining why he's never been able to give a woman an orgasm and blaming women.

And it was, I thought it was so over the top and people were reading it and getting mad at Jordan Peterson because it was so believable. And I was like, no, no, no. This I was, it's meant to be a comedy. It's a joke. 'cause this it's joke. This is so joke. And they're like, no, it's, this sounds. Exactly like something he would say, and I'm like, and this is where we're at.

This is where we're at.

Regan: There's so many layers of horrible. So like number one, a man forcing his mother and his sister to find him a woman. Okay, next layer, he calls it shopping. Shopping for a woman because she is an item to find and purchase. Then he is saying women aren't like real women when they wear [00:08:00] makeup and lashes.

Mm-hmm.

Chesko: Mm-hmm. You're not seeing the real them. Mm-hmm. Okay.

Regan: And then he is mocking the way women dress at funerals. So like you can't even mourn. You can't just even mourn because you have to be worried about men picking you up or judging you for your perfume at a literal funeral.

Mm-hmm.

Your mom died.

Sorry. Maybe you shouldn't look. So

Chesko: yeah,

Regan: for the streets, as these men like to say, with your lashes,

Chesko: my favorite thing is you, you, this is not the only video where you see videos of guys that are completely shocked and appalled by seeing what a woman looks like without her makeup, and they're just admitting that they've literally never seen a woman in the morning.

Regan: What you're saying is you've never been with a woman really like these men don't have like hair pieces. It's like, come on, watch you get in the pool also.

Chesko: Right, right.

Regan: Greg, go for a swim.

Chesko: I, I'm wearing makeup right now. My beard is, is male makeup. Right. Yeah. [00:09:00] It's, it is a socially acceptable way of me to adorn my face with something to give me a stronger jawline.

Mm-hmm. Right. And, and to make me look a very specific way. Yes, it's naturally grown, whatever, but it's still a very specific thing I have done on my face to make me appear in a very specific way. I don't dye my hair. Many of these guys are absolutely dying their hair to mm-hmm. To give the appearance of them looking younger than they actually are

Regan: taking some steroids.

Mm-hmm. I mean, he looks like he's had a hair transplant.

Chesko: Mm-hmm.

Regan: Maybe not. And there's,

Chesko: and there's nothing wrong with gender affirming care like that, which is what it is. Don't tell that, that's, they'll admit that. Don't let them know that there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Regan: Actually, we should tell them that.

'cause then maybe they'd give a shit. Yeah,

Chesko: I know. But it's when you, when you are doing all these things, right? Yeah. When you are literally in this, in the case of like, you know, getting a hair transplant, spending tens of thousands dollars at some point, depending on what kind you're getting, then to then all of a sudden, or at [00:10:00] the very least, taking Rogan or the, or the pale, whatever, I forgot what they're called.

There's another, uh, thing for it. Um, but like, whatever they're doing, they're doing all these sort of things to literally become the body that they want to, to be, that makes them feel better about being a man or more, more like a man. And then judging women for doing the, for, for literally doing the exact same thing, but in a way that they disapprove of

Regan: Yeah.

But if they showed up bare faced and not dressed up mm-hmm. They'd get critiqued for that. He'd say that. Mm-hmm. A woman isn't trying hard enough. Like also, why are you, why is your mother shopping for your wife? What does that mean? Like, that is insane to me. Like you can't even get your own, like what does that, what, what does, what does it mean?

Well, I actually, I need to know, like, does it mean like, oh, I see her, I'll get her number, I'll hand it to my son and then they'll meet up. Like if I was at a fricking funeral. Mm-hmm. And a, you know, elderly woman approached me and was like, [00:11:00] Hey, I have a, I have a hot young son if you want.

Chesko: I have a hot young 52-year-old son.

Regan: I know you're bawling your eyes out because you've just lost your brother, but, uh, I think he would wanna take you on a date. Just don't do the lashes. Okay. I know your mascara might be running because you're sobbing, but just to be clear, he doesn't like that.

Chesko: I have to say, you're quite becoming without makeup on.

Right.

Regan: Keep it, keep it, cry it off, girl. Do that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I, I think I would be like, absolutely not. And that's horrifying that you asked. No. Take advantage of women's trauma. Great. Right.

Chesko: I think it's, it goes back to, and like, is it possible in a world where your mother sees is in a situation where there's someone that might fit for you?

Sure. That that could end up. Being something. Right. But what, what I think is the underlying thing here, and this is you, you can't ignore all of the other messages these guys spread. Right. It's this going back in time to this idea of [00:12:00] of like finding someone to gift your son, right? Like of, of like negotiating with another family.

You know, it, it literally is, is hinting at this idea of taking away the woman's agency mm-hmm. In who she wants to be with. Right. Instead offering up your son the, the, the gift of my son's marriage. Right. To be, to be with you. Wouldn't you be thankful for that?

Regan: And he is talk, he talks about how in his cult there's some culture things going on.

So I don't know what that means for him, if that's something that's more culturally acceptable. 'cause I know certain cultures there is a lot more involvement with like moms and the women like kind of picking or, or like introducing on some level, but

Right.

Just the idea that like, uh, the guys listening to this probably don't have a mom and sister that they can send to do this.

Mm-hmm. So it's gonna be them at funerals. Yep. If they listen to this advice, they don't have somebody to do that. Mm-hmm. So they're gonna be prowling at funerals and then, like, they're mad at us for saying that men have like bad [00:13:00] intentions or ill intentions. Mm-hmm. You're literally going to funerals to pick up women.

Chesko: Mm-hmm.

Regan: At their most vulnerable. I

Chesko: wanna see the relationship that began by getting picked up at a funeral. I wanna see the, uh,

Regan: we've been together for 50 years and I remember when I was sobbing and he walked up to me and the smell of, what is that called?

Chesko: Uh, uh, of cologne?

Regan: No, no. The

Chesko: Oh, formaldehyde.

Regan: Formaldehyde was in the air.

Chesko: Now, every time I smell formaldehyde, I think of our first meat.

Regan: Our first kiss.

Chesko: Our first kiss, we, I had my hand in the casket and he put his hand in there and our hands gently caressed

Regan: and we were holding gam gam gam GA's hand.

Chesko: That's when I knew he was the one I, and to be, yeah, that's what I knew.

I needed to call phar help.

Regan: What's sad is prior to so much social media, I really do think there are these interactions and chance meetings that [00:14:00] happened mm-hmm. That people felt were genuine. Right. Like, I'm sure it's happened that a woman has been mourning and met someone. Mm-hmm. And then been like, oh, this is a sign, or this is a gift.

It's like, no, this was a dude that was on the para. Mm-hmm.

Chesko: And there is, there's a difference though, between happenstance where you both happened to be there and as bad as the situation was, you felt a connection with somebody. I. I'm not here to judge that versus going there thinking I'm gonna find my wife here.

This is where, Ooh, someone died. Jackpot.

Regan: I've been looking for a girlfriend.

Chesko: Did you know him? Well, I knew of him.

Regan: I saw him in the paper. He was, I saw an obituary,

Chesko: somebody I'd seen before

Regan: his photo.

Chesko: We went to university together. We didn't have any classes together. He

Regan: was 84 And you're 20? Uh, I'm older than I look, actually.

Pretty

Chesko: sure we met at least once. I have Benjamin

Regan: Button disease. [00:15:00] How delusional do you have to be to literally. Be talking about picking up women at funerals and thinking you're in the position to be judging them, like mm-hmm. As long as they don't have too much makeup. I know I'm literally prowling at a, you know mm-hmm.

Around a dead person. But you better not have lashes on girl because Yeah. That's the thing that he

Chesko: should, that, that, that's the clearly the worst possible thing happening in this scenario. Yes. That's the

Regan: gross part. Everything else is fine. Like there's literal, there's a dead body in the, in the room.

Chesko: Mm-hmm.

Regan: And you're like, Hmm, ladies, ladies, ladies.

Chesko: I, because I'm not, I, what's sad, sad to me. Is that I'm not shocked by him giving this advice anymore. Like this would've been, if, if I had heard this 10 years ago, I would've shared this as a goof. Yes. Like, oh, look at this funny comedian.

Regan: It's literally Wedding Crashers.

Will Ferrell. Yeah. They're, they're wedding Crashers. And then they meet Will Ferrell, who's the lowest of the low. And the low point in the movie for Owen [00:16:00] Wilson is when he crashes a funeral and he's like, you know what, I've, I've hit rock bottom right now, truly. Mm-hmm. And yet this guy's like, no, this is the height of, he's like, wait,

Chesko: he was, he was onto something.

Here he will,

Regan: Ferrell, wait a second.

Chesko: Oh, I love him.

Regan: Oh, God. And again, it's, it's so sick because there's, you know, they're, they're not mentioning like, clearly you're going to be mm-hmm. Weaponizing grief. Mm-hmm. Undoubtedly.

Chesko: Yeah. I wanna see real quick, if anybody actually, and I didn't look at the comment section.

Regan: Somebody's comment is the podcast host and the guest, by the way, he's talking to himself,

Chesko: someone quoting in the comments, grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac.

Regan: Oh my God. Horrifying. Horrifying. What you just said. Someone put the gif of Will Ferrell at the funeral saying, damn you, Roger. Oh my God.

And he liked it.

Chesko: Yeah. Someone pointed out, this is the plot of the 2005 and Wedding Crashers, and this is a good, this guy would go to a funeral and hit on [00:17:00] girls.

Regan: I know there's a lot of people being like, bro, you're sick.

Chesko: At the very least there is, there is a, a fair amount of people calling him out. This is not a, uh, a wildly popular, but he is the, I I think this guy has a, yeah, he has over 200,000 followers on Instagram, which is not a small feat.

Regan: There's a sad reality going on here where like, obviously sad for anyone who had to listen to that, but mm-hmm. Like this guy setting up a fake podcast. So he's making it look like he's on a podcast, but he's by himself.

Mm-hmm.

Like angling himself, like there's somebody else. He sets up his mic, he's filming himself, talking about picking up girls at funerals.

Mm-hmm. And thinking he's cool and he calls it a tipper. I don't know if you caught that. Just a little tipper for you. No, like a tip tipper. God.

Chesko: Next week's episode will be about finding a mug. Why? And not feeding it after midnight or else you. Here's what I'm struggling. I'm trying to think of worst advice you could give, [00:18:00] and I can't.

It literally is just, this is where we're at.

Regan: Uh, I would say, you know, you can always look for a boat that's going down and then the women will just have their arms outstretched and you just, but I

Chesko: think that's the next step is taking the, like going to, it's always Sunday in Philadelphia and just doing the dentist advice.

They're gonna be taking notes.

Regan: Yeah. I mean, right. Here's a scary thing. Let's get real for a second. If given the opportunity, how many men would reject taking advantage of a situation like that?

Mm-hmm.

Like where a woman is like in distress in some way.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I

mean, it's a lot of stories I've heard deal in the woman was in distress already.

Mm-hmm.

And then a man came upon her in that state of distress and then Right. Took advantage of it. You know what I mean? Not to be a downer. Yeah. But, uh, but I am going to be, uh, puru. It's wah uh, but it's, it's so [00:19:00] true. Like, I, there, this is a big downer. Um, uh, there's a content creator named Stacy who talks about she was attacked by a man.

Mm-hmm. And then another man found her and like, was supposedly gonna take her to take care of her and was attacked by that second man. Like, this shit happens all the time.

Yeah.

And making it seem like it's dating advice is so harmful because like, where's the line? So, so you're, you're like, okay, I'm being advised to take advantage of women and grief.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

Well, you know. Am I going for women who are sobbing, could it be any grief? Mm-hmm. Could it be anything horrible's happened to them? Mm-hmm. What if it's like financial? Maybe I could take advantage of that. Mm-hmm. Like what if they really need help? Mm-hmm. Then maybe I could use that to my advantage, since we're using stuff to our advantage here, right?

Mm-hmm. Like it just goes into, you know, I think we talked about this in the preshow. It's like you're starting at one place, but when you go further down, you're in a really scary place and like you're seeing the tip of the iceberg [00:20:00] here of what these men really think.

Chesko: It's like once you, once you open yourself up to doing these type of things that we can laugh at, that we can be like, oh, that's so weird.

That's so silly. That, that's so odd that someone would say this, the, the, the next step. It's like, okay, well they're gonna be open to doing other things and pursuing other things that are

slippery slope. Far,

far less funny. And, and it's, I don't, I don't want to say it's every single guy's gonna end up doing horrific things, but the reason you have to critique these things and talk about these things, which we, once again, what we talked about in the pre-show is because of the fact that it's not about every single guy that listens to this is gonna end up being horrific.

Mm-hmm. Or end up doing much more, much worse things, but enough can and will. Yeah. And that's, that's a reason why you need to cut these things off from the start.

Regan: Well, and also, if someone subscribes to this ideology, there may be some deficits in who they are that allow them to do so. Like if someone's cool with this and agrees with this, [00:21:00] and my opinion, they have an empathy problem, right?

Mm-hmm. Because they're saying, I'm gonna go to a funeral where I'm gonna meet women and I don't really care about who died. I don't really care about what anybody's going through. I wanna focus on me getting a girl, and I also am gonna degrade the girl, the girl, in this imaginary scenario. Mm-hmm. So you're obviously down for misogyny.

If you're like, oh, this is a fine thing to say, shopping for a woman. Fun thing to say, all of these things. It's like if someone subscribes to that, you need to be worried about what their acceptance of this ideology says about their own beliefs and their own lack of empathy, morals, you know, just that kind of, just that kind of stuff.

Chesko: Yeah. A little small. Inconsequential things.

Regan: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Chesko: I think, well, I think we, uh, I think we covered that one.

Regan: Yeah. I think that's all I have to say about that funeral hopper.

Chesko: Yeah. All right. Before we go to another video, do you wanna do a, uh, a would you rather,

Regan: oh, in the middle.

Chesko: I think we'll try something out, but I'm like, I'm playing with our, uh, programming here.

Would [00:22:00] you rather accidentally call your partner by your ex's name once or accidentally, like your ex's social media page from three years ago? Oh, God.

Regan: For my wife, that would be really weird, because I'd be calling your man's name,

Chesko: I guess. Yeah. I guess for you that would be, let's, let's

explore that Reagan,

Regan: uh.

You know what I, I would rather take, take the hit myself. I would rather, uh, like a post from three years ago than say that to my wife and have her have to deal with the psychological repercussions of hearing that. There's one time I was saying something about an ex and I was showing a picture. I love to tell a story and I love to have photo evidence, and somebody liked it and I was like, okay.

Well, that's gonna be weird for them. I'm sure they got that notification. It was like a boyfriend from college. Mm-hmm. Oh, so shout out to that guy. Um, sorry about [00:23:00] the, the notification you got was not talking about you. Don't worry.

Chesko: I think I'm, I'm definitely with the social media one too, but only because I think, especially because I, uh, I don't, anyone that's dated me for a foreseeable a long amount of time knows how, uh, A-D-H-D-I am and how I could easily,

Regan: they're like, I'm surprised it took that long.

Have just

Chesko: been like, because I've done that before too. Like random. I, I, this is maybe opening up too much, but do you ever do that? Like randomly somebody will like, comment on your page and I'll click and you'll be like, I wanna see who is this person? And then you end up scrolling.

Regan: I do that sometimes.

I'm like, who is this person? Or I'll be like, I'll think of somebody from my past. I'm like, what are they doing now?

Chesko: Yeah. And then by the, then you're back to looking at like their child that was born six years ago.

Regan: Congrats. She's 18.

Chesko: I've done that before, and I don't know if they thought it was weird or not, but I've commented on old photos [00:24:00] of a friend.

I'm like, oh, this, I have something to say about this.

Regan: Oh, you know, if they know you at all, they're probably like,

Chesko: yep. That's, yeah. So I that, I guess that's my easy. All right. Here, here's one. Here's one that you can actually answer. Okay.

Regan: As opposed to before.

Chesko: Before it was kind of weird. It was like, I guess you're right.

Because of your circumstances, it would make it,

Regan: I would wound her so deeply by calling her. Yeah, that'd be weird.

Chesko: Matthew. She

Regan: would be like, what the fuck?

Chesko: Who would you rather have to use only emojis to argue or only communicate through sticky notes during disagreements? Oh.

Regan: I love an emoji. I think I would do emojis because sticky notes, I can't even read my own handwriting, so I'd just be more frustrated. It's so mad. I'm like, and then I, they're like, what is this? Is this a picture of a bird?

Chesko: And you were like, what? Can you, what did you say? But you can't even say it back.

What did you say? [00:25:00] And you're Oh,

Regan: can believe it. I've getting more mad. And also by, uh, whenever I get emotional, I think it's part of my anxiety, like my hands, I've talked about this before. I have like a little tremor, like I get like worked up. Mm-hmm. So then I can't write as well. I drop things the more upset I get.

So it would just be like, ah, ah, dropping pencils and papers and Oh God, pass emoji. I love a good emoji. I love 'em.

Chesko: I, I guess I, if we're not including gifs then, uh, because that you could say a lot through, oh, that would really, that would really e up a moving picture will say a lot. Um, I, I'm gonna have to say sticky notes.

Oh,

Regan: here's, here's

Chesko: why. I have two reasons. Okay. One is, I think the act of getting so mad that pulling out a sticky note in writing would break the tension so quickly. Like, and writing out like your, whatever you're feeling on the sticky note would just immediately, versus like the emoji. I think there's a lot of misinterpretations that could go on there.

Like, what the, do you mean by this emoji? Why are you using that? Um, but that's best.

Regan: You [00:26:00] could throw one into like, ha, what does this mean?

Chesko: And second, a

Regan: typewriter,

Chesko: I'm reading too much of this also as neurodivergent individual that doesn't like be like the needs to communicate effectively. And the fact that I, I'm like, no, I will write out a full long note explaining everything about how I feel.

And then hopefully by the time I'm done though, I'll, I'll have time to calm down and I'll be like. It's not worth it.

Regan: Nevermind.

Chesko: Not worth it. Maybe that's how all arguments should be had

Regan: so many, well, my wife and I don't argue that much, but so many of our arguments end with one of us smiling or laughing.

Mm-hmm.

And we're like, damn it, because you're like, you get to play. Somebody does. I'm not saying who it is. I'm not definitely saying it's me. Somebody does something ridiculous where you're like, Hmm, okay, well both one of us will be like, you wanna stand by that? Are you happy with what you said? Because one of us will say something too extreme.

We're like, [00:27:00] yeah, no. So many times we're like, smart. We're like, oh, did you mean that one? No,

Chesko: I, I think the most stereotypical thing about my wife and I is probably how we argue nice. In the sense that, like, I do end up always apologizing even if I am correct. And then a week later I'll notice that she's, she's doing the thing that we were arguing like, like in a, like she's changed or there's something like where, where it's, it's this, ah, this subtle acknowledgement that I was ac that I was actually correct about.

Now here's the thing, I am wrong a lot, so this is not a common, don't I know it, this is not me saying all the time, every time we get in an argument the next week, she's, no. But every once in a while, that's So I've learned. To like, look at that as like a silent love language of saying, okay, I forgive you for being upset at me.

Regan: My dad used to do that. He used to, [00:28:00] um, he wasn't an apolo, he wouldn't do a big apology. All of a sudden though, he'd just do something really nice, really quickly after. Or I would notice him have done something like, done something really kind for me. Um, and I was like, uhoh, did you feel bad about something you did earlier?

Dad? Now he does apologize. But that was back in the day, but it was so funny. I was like, oh, uhoh.

Chesko: Yep, it's something's here.

Regan: Uh, my, uh, my sister's so funny. She has like, um mm-hmm. She has a reverse. So she used to, when she'd get mad, she wouldn't retaliate till like a week later. Mm-hmm. So I would do something and she would like, she'd like hip check me when we were kids into a while and I was like, oh, I must have pissed her off a week ago.

Like it was always delayed every time. So funny because she, she's so nice. Mm-hmm. That I think it would take her a second to be like, actually no, that was shitty what she did. She's like, yeah, at me. I'm like, I know [00:29:00] immediately that I'm upset and I'll tell you.

Chesko: So I, I feel like this is why I think back to like being a kid, how annoying I was.

This is being, and I don't want to, I'm, I'm speaking about myself, but like being, I was not diagnosed with autism and, and like of common trait, once again, not a diagnosis is the need to be correct. Not about, not about winning, but needing the information to be correct. Right. And this is, that is my, one of my more stereotypical traits is that I'm like, you need to know that you're wrong.

Like, and I've gotten so much better at masking that and hiding that as an adult, but especially when I was younger as an adult, it's so bad as an adult. And that's, I've gotten better at like picking and choosing where internally I'm like, wrong. You need this. A great example. My, my, uh, my wife and I, this wasn't an argument between us, but she's telling me something.

Mm-hmm. And she mentioned a math equation mm-hmm. In it. And, and the answer was wrong. And I was like, the answer was, uh, it was, it was 16 [00:30:00] and she was like, what are whatcha talking about? And she was like, I was like, oh, no, no. But it was just, it was 'cause it was, it was actually right. It was 16 and she was like,

Regan: that wasn't what I was saying.

Oh my God. And now we're in argument

Chesko: like, that's, that's not what we're talking about. And it wasn't even about me. It was, I was not in trouble. There was no argument happening. But she was like, I'm, why are you focused on that? I was like, well, because you didn't, it was wrong. I'm sorry. I was, I was just throwing out random numbers.

That wasn't even the equation that was going. I was like, oh, but it, it was wrong. But in case you wanted to know you, it was, it's actually a six,

Regan: I think the one that you and I had, and then we'll do the next story. Mm-hmm. The one that you and I both have so bad is thinking of a story or a fact when someone's talking.

We both don't, we? I can see it in our eyes. I'm like, I gotta tell you this thing. I gotta tell you this one thing, this one fact. I have to tell you. This one fact about this thing. You said, have you seen this?

Chesko: Our eyes completely

just glaze over. Like,

Regan: it's like intense.

Chesko: I'm listening to about two thirds of what you're saying right now.

I know. Like Uhhuh

Regan: Uhhuh. Let me tell you, let me tell you about [00:31:00] this 1967 film.

Chesko: Because you're also waiting for your chance where it like, won't feel awkward to insert that into there. Or the, the worst thing though is when we move on though, 'cause we do that a lot. Yeah. And I'm like, I, all I wanna do is say this thing.

Regan: That's why now we just go, I have to say this thing really quick. Yeah. And then we move on. Okay. And that's

Chesko: our friendship.

Regan: And that's our friendship. Okay. And that's on friends. Do you have another thing that's not on friends?

Chesko: I do. I don't think so. I think this will know. It'll be a funnier conversation.

Other: We'll see.

Chesko: And I also have strong opinions about this, so it'll be, I think it'll be interesting. Okay. Because I, for once, I'm not necessarily. I'm gonna critique these guys, but I'm actually don't think there, I think there's more to this discussion. I love

Regan: that you say, I'm not going to be mad, but the subtitle of said video is, oh no, you won't never ask a woman her opinion.

So tell me again how I'm not about to

Chesko: No, no, that's what I'm saying. There's stuff, [00:32:00] there's, there's layers to this. You'll see what I'm saying. This is, it's making me sound bad until we listen to this. Okay. Okay. We'll listen to it so I can Yeah.

Other: Clue. You hear women, they say, how much does a man need to make?

And they're like A million dollars a year. They have to make minimum to date them. Women have no clue what they want. They want a dad bo. But the dad, BOS, Jason Momoa, it's never ask a woman her opinion 'cause she doesn't know what she's talking about. And they said, yeah, we like dad bods, we don't like bodybuilders.

And then I turned to the woman. I said, so what do you think of me? She's like, yeah, you have a good dad bod. I'm like, I'm a professional bodybuilder. What are you talking about? That was a rapid fire. Uh.

Regan: That's amazing. He's like, he's like, got clearly burned and just is not understanding. Oh God, whatcha talking about hurry a dad body.

I'm like, you, you're beefy.

Chesko: So much wrong with what they said. Yes. I wanna be very clear. That is the, the thing about the dad bond though, I made a video about this before. Mm-hmm. Uh, and I do have, I do think the, the term dad bought has lost all meaning

Regan: truly

Chesko: like there's, because the thing [00:33:00] is he probably is like a professional bodybuilder.

And, and he he does. And it's, and it's, if he and I, I, I guarantee this guy's probably ripped. Right. But he's a bulky ripped.

Regan: Yeah, he's bulky, ripped. Which you can't, under a shirts, it's like. You just look bulky.

Chesko: People were saying that Wolverine or Hugh Jackman in the first X-Men had a dad bod. Uh, and that like Travis Kelsey, two weeks after the Super Bowl was on the beach and had a dad bod.

And I'm like, hold on, hold, wait. Yeah. I was like, we, we need to reestablish some things right here. This is not talking about guys that are in the prime of their fitness. Right. They just aren't dehydrated. And, and really that's the thing. They're

Regan: just not shredded. Like he looked somewhat, he was muscular, but looked more normal.

Mm-hmm. In the first X-Men versus when you got like shredded and like didn't see bread for eight years.

Chesko: Right. And so there there is, there is this, and then I made a video about it and people were like, well no, we mean dab bad as a compliment. And I was like, no, no, no, I get it. But when you're calling Hugh Jackman ripped Wolverine, Hugh Jackman, [00:34:00] who just is not, like I said, is not in that full shredded mode Yeah.

A dad bod, then that doesn't mean you like dad. I, I don't know what you like, it's just a bod. That's just a bod. That is a fitness bod. Yeah. That is not in bodybuilding competition mode right

Regan: off season. That is there.

Chesko: So I was like that. I think there is validity in that one ounce of the discussion here and that the term has changed into something else.

Because I also think there are plenty of women I know for a fact that don't use it that way. I think more women don't use dad bod in that way. Um, but these guys wanna focus in, and this is where the critique comes in, they wanna focus on, on that small subset that do say that Hugh Jackman has a dad bod, right?

And say like, this is what all women, they have unrealistic standards and they think this way. It's like, no, no, no, no, no buddy, you're just focusing in on. There is some problematic discourse there. And, and, and, because, because the, the, uh, assumption is then that someone even at Peak Fitness, right? Anyone below that is just [00:35:00] slovenly.

Right. Is problematic.

Regan: I think also this guy that's talking looks like he's in his forties. Mm-hmm. And the girl he's talking to, or woman he's talking to looks like she's in her twenties.

Yeah. There's

so, so she may be saying, like, you look, you have old, an older physique like dad got, right. Like, so I think that's part of it too, is you're talking to someone who could be your daughter.

So, yeah. I could see, and it's,

Chesko: it's, it's a nice way of being like, I don't, I don't want to be near you right now. You're, you're not my, he's like,

Regan: ah, see, I'm a bodybuilder. It's

Chesko: like you have a nice, you have a nice body,

Regan: you're not that bad. You know what? Take the burn.

Chesko: I guess there are two, maybe that is another interpretation.

An elderly fit person. Yeah, like an older fit guy. Because you in theory, but those, I think this is why it's an insult to them though, is 'cause the idea that they're old enough to look like a dad. Yes. Even though they're older than me.

Regan: Well, okay, so what about the idea [00:36:00] that women won't even date a man unless he's making a million dollars?

And

Chesko: now here's where we get to the, the crux of why I say, now I remember why I saved this video. Because of course the only thing that stuck in my head was, was,

Regan: Hey, now you, we need to recategorize dad bot. Hold on a second. Speaking of that's not right. Literally what you just talked about that is not correct.

The categorization of dad bot is bothering you because they're not using it correctly because it's

Chesko: not in the end. There you go. So there, there it is. Getting stuck on probably arguably the most inconsequential part of the video.

Regan: But dad by definition.

Chesko: Arguably the least important thing that they, that comes up in that entire video where they talk about women don't know what they want.

That they, that you should never listen to women,

Regan: but dad bats. I don't know a single woman who says that like a million do like it. They're just ridiculous. Now. They're not even trying to sound realistic. No. Like, no. That's the thing is it's like they're, they'll, they'll bring up statistics, they'll throw out numbers [00:37:00] that are so absurd, like no.

Mm-hmm. I,

there are women out there who will only date millionaires, I'm sure, but like mm-hmm. The odds of the everyday man coming across a woman if he is not a millionaire already mm-hmm. That he would even be meeting her. That would think that way.

Chesko: It's, here's, here's also what I realized. I had a, I had a big realization where these, these viewpoints, these guys have is there was a video, uh, that it was like a teaching video, had nothing to do with this kinda stuff.

Mm-hmm. Um, that was showing how out of touch like high school students are about how much things cost, like mm-hmm. Rent and like grocery shopping and how much money, different aspects of the world are like, oh yeah, I'd probably spend like, what, like 50 bucks a month on grocery, like grocery, like, you know, kind of stuff where like numbers are so out of touch.

Yeah. And I think you are more likely to hear, like, say an 18-year-old say, oh yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna marry, he has to make him at least a million dollars year, like, or a 17-year-old. Because, [00:38:00] because of this notion, like when you're younger, and I'm using this the money thing as a very specific example, but just in general, when you're younger, you've not lived in the real world really yet.

So

Regan: JustCo, are you saying they're probably going after 18 year olds?

Chesko: Bingo. That's when you are continually prowling on, on girls that are straight, and I say girls in this instance, but like people that are either still in high school but legal or straight outta high school, you're going to have a skewed set of information of what you think All women,

Regan: all women are so, are so annoying in the way that you have to sneak them into bars.

Right? It's so much work for all every woman I date, I have to sneak her into a bar. You know,

Chesko: you know how women complain constantly about not knowing how to parallel park for their driver's test.

Regan: You know how women can't rent a car and it comes up when you're like trying to [00:39:00] get them across state lines.

She's

Chesko: ultimately using me because I don't have to pay the extra money for a, for a rental car. But that's, I, I, I, I, I think you're right. It's like a light bulb moment where I think a lot of these things stem from the fact that their entire worldview of what all women are like is, is not, and not just any, it's, it's, it's the podcast bros.

Interviewing 18 year olds. Yes. Selecting the ones that say the most outrageous answers and putting 'em online. These guys are like, well, that's the girl I wanna date. And she's saying this, all women want a millionaire. She said, mm-hmm.

Regan: Oh God. And then like, say, Jason Momo of a dad bought, nobody's like, maybe that's the other thing, is like, even when they're talking, like they're using a clip of Jason Momoa as Aquaman.

Jason Momoa got shredded for that yet again. Mm-hmm. There are versions of Jason Momoa where he's not [00:40:00] working out constantly, that he probably looks more like, more like a a, your average dude. Mm-hmm. But I mean, I, I don't think I've ever seen him not, not pretty. Right. Athletic looking, but there's probably versions of him where he looks a little more normal.

Mm-hmm. And it's like, so there could be times that that looks like a dad bod to somebody. I don't know. But definitely not the picture. They're sh the picture they're showing. No, I

Chesko: think also definitely not that if you are a, a bodybuilder type too, when you have clothes on, sometimes you do look like you're bulkier.

Yeah, sure. You don't, you don't know that it's muscle always. Yeah, sure. It absolutely. That's what I mean with guy. Absolutely. Could be like mm-hmm.

Regan: He looks like a dad, Bo, because bodybuilders get really bloated, like bulky looking when they do, if you put shirts on them, they do look like they have a dad bod because it is mm-hmm.

It's, it's like protruding out, like their muscles are sticking out. It's not like that shredded look.

Chesko: Have you seen, have you seen the meme by the way? This is a complete side note.

Regan: What

Chesko: the of uh, if you look at like these, the big like super bulky bodybuilders, it looks like there's a [00:41:00] small guy coming outta it.

Yeah.

Regan: They're sh growing from their shoulders, but

Chesko: they're growing from their shoulders, and I can't un see it now. Every time I see one of those competitions, I just start giggling and there's no reason to.

Regan: He's wearing a

Chesko: meat suit.

Regan: Also, like the idea of never ask a woman her opinion.

Chesko: Right? And that's, that's, wait a second.

The real crux of all of this,

Regan: women don't know what they want.

Chesko: Mm-hmm.

Regan: Like, again, you can look at that at face value, and it is horrifying of its own. Right. By saying, women know, like women don't know what they want. They, they, mm-hmm. Don't like have agency. They shouldn't make their own decisions. You can't trust them.

But then you look at that as like in consent. Right. Women don't know what they want, so if they say no, does that mean they don't know what they want or like mm-hmm. When you keep going after a woman mm-hmm. Who's told you no, is that because they don't know what they want? Like there's, it's such a foul idea, like it's the seed of some very dangerous things.

Chesko: Once you accept the premise that you know better [00:42:00] about what women want than they do, then you open yourself up to some really insidious stuff and you're hundred percent not to, once again, this is a silly conversation we're having about this, but the, and we have to get serious about that because it is a serious thing and there's real harm that stems from, once again, this, this, this first step.

Towards some really horrible stuff. A hundred percent. Wait, I need to send you real quick, there's a related video to this that's actually perfect that I didn't think about.

Regan: I have to be a hundred percent honest. I am probably not the best co-host for talking about dad bods. Yeah. That is not my area of expertise.

I, it's not my cup of tea. Yeah. Um, but all, just all men bods. Like, not it's, I'm not anti dad bod, but I just don't want any of it.

Chesko: No, no. Well this is then you're gonna hate this next video. Oh,

Regan: great. I'm really happy for me.

Chesko: But I, I think I'm gonna show it to, 'cause I, there's the thing I wanna say, but I think it, I wanna reference this video and what I'm saying.

I hate

Regan: it already. Why? I know, I know. I'm looking at a man with his shirt [00:43:00] open. I listen, don't listen.

Chesko: We have to play the conversations so the audio listeners can hear it and then I wanna talk about it. It, it. Relates to what we were just talking about. This is

Regan: two of the worst thumbnails you've ever sent me.

Chesko: This is about listening to women. Okay? Okay. Okay. Do you think this is attractive as a, as a female

Other: Babs?

Yeah. Um, no. No. What do you think is like physically more appealing that you'd be like, I'd rather have my boyfriend look like a dad bot or a fit bot?

Probably a dad bot. 'cause like, I'm not fucking ripped myself.

I don't what the fuck. Like, I, I want them to kind of be like me. Look, if they're ripped, like they probably work out. Look, you gotta like, think of that about it. Like this. They work out, right? And they're ripped. Then they're fucking doing that all the time. And their personality is the fucking G. Okay. Like, I'm not like that.

I don't go to the gym at all. So like, I want someone who rather play a game than go to the gym.

I don't go to the gym all fucking day. I go in, I get out, I do other shit. I fuck around. I have a personality. I mean, hey, [00:44:00] I just like flexing my eyes from time to time. You know? What's wrong with that? You know, you get to enjoy this in the bedroom, you know?

You can't go wrong with that, you know?

Okay, then it sounds like you're a great catch.

Chesko: Oh, so she's awesome. I need to befriend her. Yeah. But like, you see, the thing is his, he's only heard from other men. Yes. That this is all that women want. And so when a woman is honest with him, an actual woman seeing him face to face, it's on, on like that, one of those like chatting websites, whatever.

Yeah. Uh, and say, and is and is being, and you could tell she's not like being over the top. She's just being like. That's not, that's not my thing. He's like, what?

Regan: You wouldn't want this, this? It's also like, you can tell how uncomfortable she is. I fucking hate

mm-hmm.

Shocker. Um, men. No, I'm just kidding. I fucking hate when creepy dudes like this set women up for uncomfortable situations.

It fucking happens all the time. Mm-hmm. Half [00:45:00] the time you see them doing shit like, it's in public. They're, they're putting them in bad positions. So this one, uh, it's one of those, uh, what do you call those? Uh,

Chesko: it's like a mega

Regan: or something.

Chesko: Something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's

Regan: basically like randomly you chat with

Chesko: random people.

Yeah, yeah. You just

Regan: pop up with two people and she's having a conversation with him, or I don't know how far in, and he immediately just pops open his shirt.

Mm-hmm.

Which you can see from her. Like if you're go to YouTube to really see it, but I'll try and describe it. There's an instant look of discomfort and being unsure because it is known on these that men will expose themselves.

Mm-hmm. So here she is just trying to do this, and this guy's ripping open his shirt, like this is a bad situation for her. And again, she doesn't know where it's going. All she knows is this guy's ripped open a shirt. Now what I also think is crazy is one, setting her up for this, I don't know what he thought was gonna happen.

Mm-hmm. But two, having such a clear viewpoint when asking a [00:46:00] question than being furious when that person doesn't give you the answer you wanted.

Mm-hmm.

Rather than accepting, I'm asking a question and any answer can come my way. Like when she says she wants a dad, but he dad, but he's like, what? And you can tell he's offended.

Mm-hmm. He's offended. Mm-hmm. So why did you ask?

Chesko: Mm-hmm. Because he, he was expecting it to be like, oh yeah, I want that. Ooh, ran to man. And, and it's not even like she just says, I don't like it. She explains, she was like, that's not the lifestyle

Regan: a hundred, but I'm looking for percent for, and I have had this conversation many times.

When you look at like fitness, so much of it is not about the actual physique, but rather the lifestyle mm-hmm. To look shredded all the time. Like, I've known people, I've known women who were bodybuilders. Mm-hmm. And it's like, of course there's seasons where they're much more intense, like diet wise.

Mm-hmm. There were times where she was cutting that, like she couldn't eat anything. But she in general, like lived an incredibly [00:47:00] healthy lifestyle. She went to the gym regularly and especially when she's, the months before a competition, you know, she was, would be insane in the gym. She was always on some kind of healthy diet.

Mm-hmm. And then it just got more restrictive when she was trying to, uh, what is it? Cut or whatever. So, yeah, like sometimes it really is like, sure of c maybe a fit body looks great, but like that is a huge portion of your life. Mm-hmm. And like if you're not into fitness as well, you're not gonna be seeing each other and you're gonna have conflict based on like, what can we eat and where can we go?

Mm-hmm. And like, it is how you live your life. It's not just how you look.

Chesko: It's 'cause they don't understand the idea of seeking out somebody that shares your interest. They seek out, there's the not not all men. Not all men, right. They, they're seeking out, thank you

Regan: JustCo, thank you for that.

Chesko: You're welcome.

These, these types of guys are seeking out just the, the, it's the idea of the woman they want or the, the shell of the woman they want and the, all that other stuff. 'cause [00:48:00] you saw immediately when she said, well, I don't want someone that spends that much time. He abandons everything that probably he likes.

Yeah. Right. Because, 'cause it, there's, there's no doubt and there's nothing wrong with, if you love the gym, I have several good friends love the gym. They're, I love the gym.

Regan: If I could.

Chesko: The right. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard to, I, I'm

Regan: a parent now, but I did, I have, I

Chesko: have close friends that are, are fully, like I have a friend that does bodybuilding competitions, like they're, they're good people.

This is not, that does not make you a bad person, right? No, but they are not going to be, if I was a single man. Knowing full, and this is, I used to work out a lot, but not that, right? Like, that wasn't my lifestyle. I didn't seek out and look for someone who did that lifestyle because I knew we weren't gonna be happy together.

I knew that wasn't going to be the thing that brought us joy as a couple together.

Regan: Well, and here's the other thing is these men are so misogynistic. I, I definitely think this guy is the way he responded to her. Mm-hmm. And just like, just like flashing someone like that, like mm-hmm. You clearly have no idea how women feel [00:49:00] about, about life.

If you think that's a good idea, again, she does not know that's all you're gonna do, right?

Mm-hmm.

They're so misogynistic that they don't even think about that. Their lifestyle might have to change if they aren't paired with someone who's about the gym life. Mm-hmm. Like, he's like, '

Chesko: cause his lifestyle won't change.

Right? It wouldn't change. No, it wouldn't. You'd do's same shit

Regan: and she would just have to put up with it. So it's like. The fact that he is like, I'm in and I'm out. No, you are not.

Chesko: Mm-hmm. You do not get cut that way. Like a full six pack abs is is it's a lot. And like I said, it's diet too. Nothing wrong with it.

It's it's diet. It's, it's, it's good looking. It's, it's a whole bunch of stuff. Right, right. That's wonderful for people that want to pursue that. Um, but it, pretending, abandoning and pretending like, no, no, no, I don't, there's nothing. It's just, I'm, I'm in an, I'm over there for an hour a day. No, you are not.

Regan: No, you are not. Yeah. It's so, it's so strange too. 'cause he's got his, his face, he's got like. Growing out on his face and he clearly shaves his entire chest

Chesko: like, right. [00:50:00] Well this is,

Regan: this is more important. You can tell where importance is to him. Mm-hmm. He's not shaving his face, but he has made sure that body is clean.

Well, he probably shaved right before he was flashing people, to be honest. Right.

Chesko: I that's true. But I think it also leads directly into, once again, he doesn't see it as that much. And this is, this is actually more of an a, a, uh, explanation, I think for why you see so many of these men that leave their wives after they have children, uh, because their bodies quote unquote, right.

They like that, that one video I've responded before letting themselves go or that they've gained weight or that they're not have a full six pack abs anymore. He's like, well, I didn't have to change. I, I still maintain this body because. You're, I don't understand why you can't either. It's not that much because they're not acknowledging all the work that does go into it.

Yes. Uh, and that when you are adding on a family and marriage and taking care of a grown man baby as a husband, uh, then you do not have that little time that feels like nothing to you because that's all you do.

Regan: Yeah.

Chesko: [00:51:00] Right. Is, is going to affect the way that the person you're with is a, a quote unquote looks right.

And so, and they, they'll still have that same expectation and that same judgment, uh, of them for not holding it up because they do not understand that. They won't even acknowledge that it does take work.

Regan: Yeah. That

Chesko: goes into that.

Regan: Usually not both people can do that. It's very rare as a parent that like both, both people's fitness can get taken care of mm-hmm.

To the degree that they both want. Right. Like, these guys are going to an outside gym, usually they're, you know mm-hmm. They're buying all this other stuff for the gym. It's like a lot of moms that I know at, for example, like workout at home. Mm-hmm. You know, they're not going to the gym. It's like, usually women are having to like, shove their workout routine if they can even fit one in.

Mm-hmm. And

they're like, well, it's the same. And also if you've been chasing after children all day, the exhaustion you feel mm-hmm. A lot of times it's just like, I do not have the energy. Like, I would like to just sit down in a quiet room for 20 minutes.

Mm-hmm.

And they're like, [00:52:00] I make done work workout.

I'm like, okay, great. Mm-hmm. Also, this dude has so many videos of him, um, going around shirtless of course, and interviewing women on the street. Like I said, what did I, ah, I know these men. It's horrible. Why do I know them? But like, that's it, it's this, um, this need to like put women in uncomfortable situations.

Mm-hmm.

They enjoy putting, not only just putting them in a comfortable sit situations, but setting them up for failure.

Mm-hmm.

Because he was trying to make her look bad. Like she's being a jerk. He edited mm-hmm. To make her look like she's being rude.

Right.

Which she wasn't. Uh, so they, they want them to look bad and in the end to look stupid.

And that's what we see in these interviews. They'll find women who are blackout drunk.

They'll

trick them into, like, they'll ask them questions they're not prepared for. Like, they will purposely make women look as bad as they can. And men who like doing that for [00:53:00] fun and engagement online are not usually good men.

Shocker.

Chesko: They, uh, I remember there was a, somebody could not believe, uh, that I had ever dated someone attractive. That's, uh, it was going back like, 'cause because I mentioned that I've never been like a fitness guy. He was like, well then you've never, you, you've clearly never dated anyone. I was like, well, my ex was like, like literally the captain of a division one basketball team.

Regan: She's gonna be like, your wife. Your wife is stunning. But I guess he probably hasn't seen that. She's private.

Chesko: Right. I don't, I don't, but I don't bring her and just showcase her online. I get it. I get it. Yeah. Um, I,

Regan: I for sure get it. You won't see mine either.

Chesko: The idea that anybody, it was like, well, nobody fit would ever be into, I was like, you don't have to.

Regan: What does that mean?

Chesko: It's this whole, it, it's this weird thing. Like I've, I've dated throughout my life, you know, pre, pre my amazing, beautiful, gorgeous wife. Um, right. But that, that is not, I was like, I wanna be clear. I feel like I, I like, uh, um. You know, but that's, that is, that's not the reason I'm [00:54:00] with her also, though.

That's not like the No, of course not brought me, it's a factor,

Regan: Shirley.

Chesko: But like, but I, I've, I've dated women of different sizes, different races, different, different levels of conventional attractiveness. Same throughout, you know? Yeah. Before, yeah. There, there was not, like if you were to look at every single, there's not like one type that I was like, uh, you know, that, that I was with.

But the idea though, that someone who was conventionally attractive could be, could have been attracted to me even though I didn't have like a six pack. Uh, to them is com is the most unheard of thing in the world. Because if they admit though, then they have to admit that all of this time they've spent devoting and making their entire personality.

That may not have been the only thing they should have been working on

Regan: a hundred percent. I think it adds to a lot of these men being miserable. Mm-hmm. Because not all people feel better. Like I, working out makes me feel better, but like you're, to get those abs, like you have to be on a restricted diet that can make mm-hmm.

People less happy. Right. [00:55:00] And you have to dedicate a lot of time. Mm-hmm. And if your sole purpose in that is getting women the sole reason you're putting yourself through that kind of abuse. 'cause I mean, at some point you're to get that shredded, you're, you're putting your body through some turmoil there.

Mm-hmm.

If you're, the only prize at the end of that is to get with a woman and then like, you're not getting women, like, I'm sure.

Mm-hmm. I'm

sure that is upsetting, like mm-hmm. But then again, why is that there's sole reason for doing it? And also like, how does that then turn into hating women? Mm-hmm.

That's where we're, that's where we're getting lost there. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Like,

if you should be doing it for yourself, like, I, I don't unders, I don't think, I don't think it's ever really fulfilling anything like. Physical if, mm-hmm. If you're not doing fit fitness wise, if you're not doing it for yourself.

I think I dated one guy with a six pack.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, he, he was, he was also like 5, 5 6, so he didn't have much room to, but he was like, did flips and shit. I don't [00:56:00] know. Anyways. But, uh, he, but then I ended up working out like a psychopath. Mm-hmm. Because I was so, like, oh shit, I like, I felt like I had to match him.

Mm-hmm.

And he was into it. So then I was like, I guess I'll be on the treadmill. I guess this is

Chesko: my life now.

Regan: I definitely, Hey, was I in good shape? Yes. Yeah. Was I happy? Uh, no. No? Mm-hmm. I was not, 'cause I was also doing it for the wrong reason 'cause I was feeling pressured to fit. Wait a

Chesko: minute. Well, like even, and it is the, I think, and this is the longer conversation, but the misconception or society that the only way to be healthy is to be thin.

Right? Right. It's that there's more, like I am, I am no one, the only way to describe me is as a chubby guy. Right. I, I am not a thin guy. Sure. But I, you know, across the board, and I only, I know this extensively 'cause I had that surgery last year. Like all of my health, you know, levels are, are prime. They're, I have great blood pressure, I have low cholesterol, I have, uh, you know, all of the [00:57:00] tri locally triglycerides.

Like, I eat healthy. I just eat a lot of healthy, and I exercise, I exercise five, six times a week. Yeah. But the, the, it's, it's, you can still. You know, have a healthy life and have a healthy body and not, uh, look like, you know, like that you can still look like me.

Regan: Well, and also, like I know people who gained weight to be healthy.

Right. Like literally had to put on. Mm-hmm. Um, I've known a lot of people with eating disorders, so I also know how many. Skinny people who people say are quote unquote healthy are not.

Mm-hmm.

Like, it just doesn't have anything to do with anything. And it's so frustrating. Uh, and we put, you know, I mean, I'm not gonna get into the soapbox, but Right.

Even the morality we put on weight just makes me wanna scream. Mm-hmm. I think all of this stems from these men, to your point, wanting an easy answer and fixating and clinging to this solution for why they can't get women, which is very complex for every [00:58:00] individual. You can't say, well, it's A, B, and C and that's it, even though I don't know you.

Mm-hmm. Like, it's always, you know, a mix of things as is with anybody. Like we all working on different things that interact and, you know, intertwine with each other in social settings that we have to work on. Um, but they want that easy answer and so they, they decide that it's just, it's A, B and C. Like I said, I just have to get abs.

Get a high paying job and be an asshole, and I'll get all women, because then I can focus my energy on that. And then the second, that's not true. Mm-hmm. They're really falling apart here and they're blaming women for it.

Mm-hmm.

Because again, I had an easy answer before you took that from me. Well, guess what?

The easy answer is that women suck. And that's what we see from them. It's because they're so desperate for control over their situation that they just translate it from one to the other. Like, oh, this didn't work. Well, now it's women's fault.

Chesko: Mm-hmm.

Regan: I'll control them.

Chesko: Yeah. Because it's, it's, it goes back to what we said before is like they made a list of all the [00:59:00] things Women want that without consulting women.

I know.

Regan: That's the best part. Women were not in the room. They're like, get outta here. What do they literally, I did.

Chesko: Why is this such a long list of things? None of this is on my list.

Regan: Literally they say you can't trust women's opinions. Like there were no women in the room when you decided what women want, how

Chesko: mm-hmm.

Regan: Historically accurate to what has gone on.

Chesko: And it's always these like 40 middle aged guys that are, are still single

Regan: with 18 year olds with Yeah.

Chesko: They're, they're like not in long, happy, long-term relationships that are selling it as like, we know what women want.

Regan: We single guys from our mother's 80-year-old mother's basement still know, why does

Chesko: my girlfriend keep cheating on me?

Regan: I treat her like she's an object. Uh, it's an asshole. But yeah, I think, I think that's it. And it's like, yeah, just, I just don't as a, just as you know, your, your resident lesbian [01:00:00] here as the, um, what my wife calls it something. Oh shit. Oh, the lesbian representative. I just can't imagine. Not listening to women ever, but also in the sense of if you want one so bad.

Mm-hmm. Like the ways that they attack women. Mm-hmm. For e, for every opinion, every viewpoint, wanting to join the conversation about them. Like you're asking what, talking about what women want, and if women start to tell you you attack them. Mm-hmm. Like it happens to me all the time online and it's like.

I, I just can't imagine like, in any other setting, like, like say you were like a salesman or something, and all the, the buyers were outside. Mm-hmm. And you're like, God, what did they want? What did they want? And you're just yelling at like, they want it to taste like poison and smell like feet. And then the people, like, the customer's like, no, please, we just want cherry flavored, you know?

Mm-hmm. And [01:01:00] just completely disregarding your customer base and being like, oh, well, well, I guess they just suck. We're making the perfect product. So I don't know what their problem is. It's just so wild to me that they refuse to accept any feedback because like women are telling you mm-hmm. I'm there, I'm there for these conversations.

And like you could be less miserable. Absolutely. If you listened and had empathy.

Chesko: They don't see the correlation between, and I know the correlation is not a causation, I know that. I realize that, but they, they don't, there's such a clear correlation between the rise of this toxic alpha male, high value male culture online, and shockingly as the male loneliness epidemic rises, you know, and they, what they'll say is, oh, no, no, we are a response to that.

But that is absolutely not the case. It it is, it is very clearly causing and it's, they're, and it's because they're targeting young men and throwing [01:02:00] them when, when, when these young guys don't know better, don't know who to take for advice. They're looking for, uh, for someone that can guide them to looking for these things.

And they always, if you watch these guys and watch enough for them, and God knows I've watched. Too many of their videos and too many of the things they put out there, they always frame it as here's how to find a relationship. Right? And so you have these young guy, when they're teaching you pickup tricks to, for one night, stands for hookups, for, to trick somebody into short-term flings.

Right? But they frame it as relationships. 'cause you have these young boys that are, are desperate and seeking out, I want a relationship one day I want a girlfriend, I want to get married, I wanna find someone who loves me. And so they're taking this advice and then they end up being in these, these really bad situations.

'cause they end up getting cheated on because they're treating their partner terrible. Or they end up being with someone who only wants to be with them short term because they, they don't know who this person is that they're with. And then all of a sudden they start feeding into it. And then they don't, they don't, they don't know how to [01:03:00] act otherwise.

And they turn into these, these same alpha dudes that are ruining these guys. It is a problem, but it's, it's. Not something that's gonna be solved by repeating the same lines that they are.

Regan: Well, and, and that's the thing is I think I said before, I have a problem with the term loneliness epidemic because like so many things one epidemic makes, it sounds like it's coming from nowhere, right?

When there's actually very clear, like mm-hmm. How it was going. Like we could see it happening and it didn't spring from nowhere. It's actually a consequence of other things and other behaviors. The thing about this is, I think it's more of a, like a hate epidemic and an entitlement epidemic because loneliness is a problem.

It's a genuine concern. I think across the board. People are lonely right now and there's a lot of factors to that.

Mm-hmm.

But when we see the, the serious re uh, like re repercussions of this is it's not solely in men [01:04:00] being lonely. But in the actions that they then take due to said loneliness and the blame they place for said loneliness.

Mm-hmm. They are blaming women. Mm-hmm. They are saying it's women's fault. Mm-hmm. I probably daily see videos from men, uh, just like we saw Scott Galloway recently being like, well, I'm not saying women should settle, but, but I'm

Chesko: absolutely saying that they should settle. Mm. Right.

Regan: It's because you are saying the solution to the problem is women need to just date down.

Women need to have lower expectations. Women need to date men that they basically aren't attracted to. Right? Mm-hmm. That's what we're saying that they don't want. Mm-hmm. Uh, because we're saying that the solution is women and therefore then what is the blame? Mm-hmm. If women have to change to solve it

mm-hmm.

Then

who is causing the problem? I think the, the subtext of that is women's behavior is the cause and it's the entitlement to women and believing it's our fault. [01:05:00] That causes that hate because they think, well, I'm lonely. It can't possibly be societal factors. It can't possibly be late stage capitalism.

It can't possibly be that I don't know how to make friends because I haven't been, you know, raised in a way that, and society hasn't like taught me how as a man to have deep, intimate relationships with people outside of romantic relationships. It's none of that. It's women. Mm-hmm. And it's women's fault.

Mm-hmm. And so I, because I'm entitled, I am angry, you cannot be angry unless you felt you should have had it in the first place.

Chesko: And that's a mic drop moment for you. 'cause as I always say, you have the best lines from the show. Thanks for making me look like you're a lowly co-host. No, I'm just kidding.

Regan: Where's your little hands? Get your hands out.

Chesko: That's

Regan: your co contribution, the clapping free, the tiniest claps. Yeah. No, I just, um, I just think it's, it's frustrating when they, they aren't looking at, um, the intersectionality of all the factors that go [01:06:00] into this quote unquote epidemic. And it's a disservice and it's, it's, it's dishonest to what's actually happening.

Mm-hmm. And it really disregards the suffering of women. Like, look at the statistics, like at the hands of said, uh, loneliness epidemic, right? Like mm-hmm. When they're linking a acts of egregious violence to, uh, this epidemic, it's like, alright, so it ends in men harming women, and we're saying women should be harmed to solve it.

Women need to put themselves in dangerous situations throughout history. That has never worked when women had the least amount of rights and could not speak for themselves.

Chesko: Mm-hmm.

Regan: They were oppressed even more so,

Chesko: and it goes back to what we were talking about in the pre show, and I was like, it's the, the reason these guys are still popular is because there is a.

There, there is nuance and there is depth, and there's interconnectedness and there's intersectionality that you talked about. Mm-hmm. And there's so much more that goes into this, [01:07:00] but that, that isn't as flashy as an easy answer in a TikTok clip. Right. There's more to it. That doesn't, so that's not a hook that doesn't No, but it's like that I, if I'm angry and upset about something, I want an easy answer that, that will solve all my problems.

And that's what I'm, that's what I'm gonna make my personality as opposed to understanding that there is more to all of these conversations than even what we're talking about or that what anybody is talking about right there. There is so many levels that wanna go into that. You can't just solve it by doing this one thing or following this one playbook or following this one rule that I only I can do that will make you happy again.

No, we have to accept that there's more to it than. A simple conversation. A single podcast episode. Yeah. A single tip, top clip. But nobody wants to do that because that takes work, that takes effort and it also takes interest in, uh, introspection and reflection, which is a very scary thing. 'cause that's also taught to, uh, not be a manly thing in our society to do, is to look inward and admit that you [01:08:00] might have faults and admit that you have things you need to work on that are not simply hitting the gym more and making more money.

Regan: Damn. That's a mic drop. Look at that. Boom. See, I

Chesko: did it. I added my own. Doubles.

Regan: Doubles. All right, friends. Well, that's all we have for today. Got serious here at the end. Yeah. But, uh, thank you so much for listening. As we've mentioned, we have our pre-show. Make sure to check that out on our Patreon. It's unhinged, but it's a lot of fun.

Chesko: Mm-hmm. Fingers crossed. We'll see you there.

Regan: He's holding up a tiny hand. That's fingers are crossed. This is

Chesko: the best audio podcast ever.

Regan: All right. Bye friends.

Chesko: Love you. Love

Regan: you. Bye.