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Our day-to-day life is filled with assumptions 
and judgment. Every interaction with others - and  

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even those with ourselves - is in some 
way influenced by these assumptions and  

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judgements. Most of the time, however, 
they are unnecessary and even harmful  

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to our ability to connect with others 
and ourselves. There’s a beautiful poem  

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that talks about connection without 
assumptions or judgment, which reads…

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“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

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When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about. 

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Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other”
doesn’t make any sense.”

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This beautiful verse is part of a poem 
written by Jalāl al-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī,  

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often simply referred to as ‘Rumi.’ The poem 
itself is unnamed, as were all Rumi’s poems at  

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the time he wrote them, but in modern times it has 
often been assigned the title ‘The Great Wagon.’

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In this verse, Rumi encourages us to 
let go of our worldly convictions and  

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ideas in order to try and connect with 
others and with our inner-self on a deep,  

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personal level. The world and its circumstances 
do not matter here. The poem continues:

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“The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep. 

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You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.

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People are going back and 
forth across the doorsill 

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where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open. 

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Don’t go back to sleep.”

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When waking at dawn, one is often eager to go 
back to sleep. Rumi uses this feeling to talk  

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about our temptation to ignore our inner 
selves: the breeze at dawn is our soul,  

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wanting to come out and reveal itself to us. 
Rumi is telling us not to go back to sleep:  

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try to get to know yourself instead.

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Rumi lived from 1207 to 1273 and he was not 
only an amazing poet, but also a theologian,  

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a philosopher, an Islamic scholar, and one 
of the most prominent figures in Sufism. 

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Sufism is a form of philosophical practice 
within Islam that is focused on purification,  

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spirituality, performing rituals,  

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and abstaining from worldly pleasures. 
His poems are widely known, admired,  

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and have been translated into numerous languages 
and into multiple formats across the globe.

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One of the most interesting and important topics 
Rumi liked to write about was love. As he wrote:  

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‘We are born of love; Love is our mother.’ In 
the Western world, we often associate the word  

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love with our spouse, partner, closest 
friends and family members. However,  

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Rumi’s idea of love went far beyond 
that. Love is one of the most important,  

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most vital parts of life; and 
it is to be found everywhere.

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‘The Great Wagon’, the poem we just heard 
an extract from, is also about love. It  

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is about how love transcends rights, 
wrongs, and other worldly things such  

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as language or ideas. It is about finding 
and loving one another as well as yourself.

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In this video, there will be a focus on loving 
yourself, especially, since self-love is one  

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of the most important things to do for your 
health and well-being, as well as an important  

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basis for your relationships with others. In 
the words of Rumi: ‘ Go find yourself first,  

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so you can also find me.’ So join 
me as we learn how to find yourself,  

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and then love what you find, according 
to the practices and poetry of Rumi.

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Get To Know Yourself 

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Rumi says “The breeze at dawn has secrets 
to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep.”

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Never, ever forget about the breeze at dawn. Carry 
this phrase with you for the rest of your life.  

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The very first step to improve and love yourself, 
is to get to know yourself; you can’t work on  

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what you don’t know so resist the urge to ‘go to 
sleep’ and turn a blind eye to who you truly are,  

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and instead, reflect. Introspection and reflection 
is a key ingredient to finding who you are. This  

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can be done through prayer, meditation, 
journaling, or just taking the time out  

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of your day to sit down and think about you, your 
life, your personality, and your relationships.  

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You cannot love what you don’t know, so get 
to know yourself - truly and intimately.

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But, even more so than reflection, the other 
way to get to know yourself according to Rumi  

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is by practicing moderation towards your worldly 
desires. Moderation is a practice of balance. In  

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order to try and achieve this balance for 
yourself, try not to give into your worldly  

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urges. Do not buy yourself that item you don’t 
need, do not stop at a fast food drive through,  

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and put your phone away in the evening and go to 
sleep early. By abstaining from worldly pleasures,  

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you abstain from distractions, and instead 
allow your mind to truly dive deep into itself.

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In our modern day and age, distractions and 
temptations are everywhere. We are more blind  

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to our true selves than ever before, and 
it takes more effort to get to know who  

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we actually are than ever. By not getting swept 
up in the temptations of the world around you,  

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you will realize that your mind 
will be much clearer. Your focus,  

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your actions, and your ability to 
reflect will increase drastically.

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Consumerism, the internet, and our jobs often mask 
our true selves; we have to put on a mask just in  

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order to engage with all of it. When you practice 
moderation, you refuse worldly distractions, your  

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need to mask yourself or act any differently than 
you already are, will disappear. And when it does,  

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you will see yourself much clearer than you 
ever have. You will be able to truly know - and  

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learn to love - yourself.. So concentrate, 
reflect, and don’t let yourself be distracted.

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Forgive Yourself
According to Rumi  

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“Love is an endless act of forgiveness. 
Forgiveness is an endless act of love.”

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One of the main reasons people hate 
themselves is because they dislike  

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themselves. And one of the main reasons people 
dislike themselves is because they recognize  

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their own flaws but do not forgive 
themselves for it. According to Rumi,  

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you do not truly love yourself if you do not 
forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made.

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He stressed that one of the most important tasks 
of self-care is to let yourself grow and improve.  

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When you do not, you foster self-hate. When 
you do, you prove to yourself that you are  

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worth the effort it takes to improve, and 
that you are worth loving. As Rumi said,  

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“Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop.” 
But dropping dead leaves can only be done if  

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you acknowledge and forgive the leaves first. This 
is because whatever you do not forgive, you carry  

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with you in hatred and stubbornness. In order to 
let something go, you have to first forgive it.

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The reason a lot of people don’t forgive 
themselves varies. Some people don’t even realize  

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their mistakes, or refuse to see their actions as 
a mistake. These people think they’re flawless.  

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This might seem like an extreme form of self-love,  

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but according to Rumi’s philosophy, it is not love 
at all. Love cannot be found in denial. In fact,  

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the people that are in denial about themselves 
naturally do not love themselves enough to get  

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to know their true selves, or the person 
they think they love is not actually who  

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they are. Selfishness, in this sense, is 
blinding - and the antithesis of love.

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For many of us, the first step to forgiveness 
is realization: You have to realize you’ve  

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made mistakes. You have to listen to the 
feedback you get from others in your life  

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and critically examine your own behavior. 
How have you made others feel? How have you  

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failed the people in your life, or yourself? 
What would count as a mistake in your eyes?

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Confronting your mistakes requires a lot 
of bravery. People who are unhappy with  

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themselves find it the hardest to confront 
their mistakes, because doing so feeds their  

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self-hatred. As a result, doing so with grace 
is an amazing first step to self-love. When  

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you do recognize your mistakes, you should be 
careful not to judge yourself. Remember the line:  

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‘Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, 
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.’ Meet  

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yourself in that field. When you think 
of your mistakes, think of what caused  

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you to make them, and what you could do 
in the future to avoid them. Focus on the  

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practicality of confronting your mistakes, 
rather than the emotional aspect of them.

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When you have confidence in your 
ability to do better next time,  

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you will find that you have forgiven yourself. 
This is because the person you have become - the  

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one who no longer will makes those mistakes, 
the one who has grown and is better now - is  

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lovable. Forgiving yourself is a gift that allows 
you to rest. When you truly want to love yourself,  

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you have to learn how to look at the 
uglier sides of yourself and forgive them.

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Focus On Good Friendships 

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In the words of Rumi “Set your life on 
fire. Seek those who fan your flames.”

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One of the best ways Rumi has showcased 
love in his own life, was by loving Shams.

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Shams of Tabriz was a nomad who traveled 
from place to place to spread his spiritual  

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teachings. When he was in his 60s - and 
Rumi was in his 30s - he and Rumi met.

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According to the famous stories about 
Rumi and Shams, one day while Rumi was  

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reading near a pool, Shams passed 
by and asked, ‘What are you doing?’

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Rumi said: ‘Something you cannot understand.’

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Shams then approached him and - shockingly - threw  

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all of Rumi’s books into the pool. 
Rumi immediately jumped up to fish  

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them out of the water and when he did 
so, he found all of his books were dry.

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‘How is this possible?’ Rumi asked.

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‘Something you cannot understand,’ Shams said.

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And with that, a friendship was born.

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Now, whether this truly happened is up for 
debate but what is true about this story is  

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that Rumi and Shams taught each other a lot about 
things they did not understand before. When Rumi  

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and Shams first met, they were so enthralled 
with each other that they spent two years in  

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solitude together. While this is not very 
long in regards to a lifetime, it was more  

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than enough to change each other permanently 
- spiritually, mentally, and poetically. They  

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taught each other about love, faith, hope, 
and friendship, and inspired each other’s  

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poems and teachings immensely. The moral of this 
beautiful relationship between the two men tells  

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us that those who truly love themselves surround 
themselves with people who encourage that love.

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A big mistake many people make 
is keeping toxic people around  

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and putting effort into friendships 
that are not rewarding or caring.

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Friends who don’t truly love you have a big 
impact on your self-love, and someone who  

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truly loves themselves typically would ensure that 
they craft a healthy environment for themselves.

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A particularly important step in self-improvement 
is discovering whether you actually enjoy your  

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current friendships or not. Two good questions 
to ask yourself in order to do so are:  

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‘How do I feel around this friend?’ and ‘Do I 
like the way I act when I’m around this friend?’

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When you identify bad friends, you should 
allow yourself to slowly and gently step  

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away from them. More so, when you identify 
good friends, focus on putting effort and care  

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into that friendship. Make sure to let them 
know how important they are to you and why;  

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and of course, do your best to support them, too.

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Your closest and best friends love you. By 
feeling and experiencing their love for you,  

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you might also learn to love yourself 
better, following their example.

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Be Vulnerable
To quote Rumi “Your task is not to seek for love,  

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but merely to seek and find all the barriers 
within yourself that you have built against it.”

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Most people try their hardest not to appear 
vulnerable to the outside world. Think of  

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phrases like ‘boys don’t cry,’ or ‘man up.’ Think 
of how people hide their emotional or mental pain  

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from others, even their friends, family and 
partners. When it comes to a painful past or  

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mental health struggles, we often don’t want to 
share any of it. We want to hide it deep down  

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and present ourselves in a good, strong light. 
But keeping pain to yourself only allows it to  

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fester. When pain goes ignored and unaddressed, 
it grows: and thus makes you even more miserable.

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But not only does denying vulnerability 
make you unhappy, it also blocks your  

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ability to love yourself. If you 
love someone, you’d want them to  

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grow and heal. By denying yourself the 
same sympathy, you deny yourself love.

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It is a vicious circle: people who do 
not love themselves deny themselves  

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remedies to their pain. And people that 
are in pain often do not know how to love  

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themselves. So how does one break out of 
this cycle? By embracing vulnerability.  

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The very first step of both self-love and 
treating your pain is by acknowledging it.

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Take the time out of your day to sit 
down and ask yourself, ‘Am I hurting?’  

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Think of the things that scare you, of painful 
memories, of your fears and of your dislikes,  

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and try to discover where all of these traits come 
from. If you’ve had your heart broken in the past,  

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you might be afraid to open up to a new partner; 
or if you’ve been considered to be ‘annoying’ by  

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past friends, you might avoid engaging in 
conversations with strangers or friends in  

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the future. When you find your fears and 
pain, you find what it is exactly that  

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you need to do in order to grow: in 
which aspects you need to be vulnerable.

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Vulnerability can be understood as 
putting yourself in a position where  

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you can get hurt. Past hurts make you 
want to avoid any possible future pain,  

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but doing so is harmful in and of itself. Instead, 
if you teach yourself how to treat your wounds,  

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you won’t be afraid of getting hurt more 
often. So be vulnerable: allow yourself  

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to feel self-conscious, do what scares you, and 
do it because you love yourself. When you allow  

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yourself to be vulnerable, you tell yourself 
that you deserve the best possible outcomes.

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Love requires vulnerability. Rumi stresses 
that every pain and all sorrow has meaning:  

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from the very worst agony you will 
learn lessons, and because of the  

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darkest moments you will appreciate the 
light even more. As Rumi so eloquently put  

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it: ‘The wound is the place where 
the Light enters you.’ When you  

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allow yourself to be in pain every now and 
then, you will also allow yourself to heal.

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Embrace Your Passions

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Rumi tells us "When you do things from your 
soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy."

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Loving yourself means allowing yourself to pursue 
what makes you happy. Most people choose safety.  

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We might not do the work that we enjoy, but it 
pays well enough. We might not move to the country  

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of our dreams because we’re afraid of change. We 
might not want to try out that thing we’ve always  

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wanted to try, because what if we fail? Self-doubt 
and fear is the main ingredient to misery.

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Rumi, however, stressed that one of the goals of 
life is to find joy. It doesn't matter where or  

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how you find this joy, but one thing is clear: 
it cannot be found if you do not listen to your  

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heart and allow yourself to take risks. Rumi 
believed in following your heart. Deep down,  

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you know what it is that you truly 
want and what would make you happy.

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It is our brains - our fearful, doubtful brains 
- that take the reins and steer away from the  

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path our hearts would want us to take. Following 
your heart is what makes your life worth living,  

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what allows you to love the world, 
and what allows you to love yourself.

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Think of a close friend, family member, or 
your partner. You love them, right? And so you  

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want them to be happy. So if they expressed that 
they knew what would make them happy, you would  

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encourage them to do it, wouldn’t you? We often 
do not consider ourselves to be a friend or loved  

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one, though, and so we don’t grant ourselves the 
same grace and support that we do other people.  

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People tend to think of themselves as someone who 
deserves less, or who is not as able as others,  

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or who is just not worth the effort. To that, Rumi 
said: "Stop acting so small. You are the universe  

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in ecstatic motion." One of the most effective 
ways to realize that you, too, are allowed to  

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follow your passions - and to find the motivation 
to do so - is by reflecting on your existence.

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Think of how unique and special it is for you to 
even exist. Of all things that could have been in  

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the universe, there you are: the unique, conscious 
result of an unimaginable number of coincidences,  

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in a seemingly infinite universe. You have a mind, 
body and soul that have never been fully explained  

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by science. You’re a miracle in your own right! 
By reflection on how unique and odd your existence  

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is, you might realize that you should not waste 
what you have been granted by the universe.  

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Somehow, you have the ability to do whatever you 
want, and you have the will to want whatever you  

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want. You have to learn to appreciate and love 
this fact, and then… Do something with it!

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Another way in which many people deny 
themselves their passions and dreams  

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is by following the herd. If you walk the 
path many have walked before you - or the  

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path that others expect you to take - you do 
yourself a disservice. About this, Rumi said:  

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“Do not be satisfied with the stories that 
come before you. Unfold your own myth.” Your  

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life is worth living in its own unique way. 
You are not merely part of a larger story,  

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or a side-character in someone else’s: you get 
to make your own. When you realize how unique you  

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are, you will also realize what it is you truly 
want. Then, if you allow yourself to pursue it,  

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you will find that you’re happier than 
ever and that happiness is self-love.

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Love The Divine
Rumi once wrote “Be  

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certain that in the religion of Love there are 
no believers and unbelievers. Love embraces all.”

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David once asked God, ‘Why 
did you create the universe?’

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And God said, ‘I was a hidden treasure;  

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I loved to be known. Hence I created 
the world so that I would be known.’

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Sufism as a whole is extremely focused on 
connecting with the divine through the act  

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of loving. And according to Rumi, who often told 
the story about David and God, everything in the  

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world was created by God in order to be recognized 
and loved. Everything. When you manage to love  

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everything, you will feel divine love. Divine 
love, as opposed to ‘human love’, is selfless,  

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unconditional, and all-encompassing. It 
does not care about who, where, when,  

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and how. It only cares about love. It’s more a 
way of loving, rather than something to love.

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When you allow yourself to see, invite, and love 
the divine, you will know everything you need to  

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know about love. Now, there is no formula that 
can help you orchestrate a divine encounter - it  

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happens randomly, everywhere, all the time. The 
trick, then, is not trying to force it to happen,  

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but to recognize it when it does. You do so 
by recognizing God. Not as a man in the sky,  

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or some invisible consciousness, but as 
the universe itself. Indeed, Rumi says,  

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“Everything that is made beautiful and fair and 
lovely is made for the eye of one who sees.” Do  

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not get tangled up in logic and semantics 
when trying to experience unconditional,  

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all-encompassing love; just feel it. Divine 
love can be seen in a warm ray of sunlight  

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landing on your face, in a beautiful bird 
flying through the sky, in the loving smile  

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of a friend, in a stranger helping you 
out just to be helpful, and so much more.

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Divine love is for everyone regardless of the 
past. When you recognize divine love everywhere,  

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your love can never fade or die. As Rumi says, 
‘Goodbyes are only for those who love with their  

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eyes. Because for those who love with heart 
and soul there is no such thing as separation.’  

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Divine love will make you realize that love  

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cannot be captured in images or 
words; it is something alive.

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7. Be In Love
In our final quote  

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for this video, Rumi says ‘Wherever you 
are, and whatever you do, be in love.’

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Lastly, never forget to be in love all the time.

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According to Rumi, love goes beyond time, place, 
borders, language, and understanding. Love  

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transcends. And, what’s more, there is love to be 
found everywhere: in yourself, in others around  

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you, in your life, in the world, and everything 
else. Your heart is full of the ability to love,  

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and all you have to do to live your life to the 
fullest is to actually go out and love the world;  

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On the same subject, Rumi also said, ‘Love 
is the bridge between you and everything.’
  

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Love is the greatest motivation. When you love 
something, you are excited to engage with it,  

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to put effort into it, and to seek it out. 
This is the case for friends, family, work,  

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hobbies, and almost anything you can think of. 
In the same way, love is a key to happiness:  

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when you find more and more things to love, 
you have more and more reasons to be happy.

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Lastly, love is a practice. It’s like training 
a muscle: we human beings were made to love,  

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but we have to train in order to truly 
learn how to master it. You train loving  

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by recognizing love everywhere; the 
divine love, the love your friends  

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and family have for you, the love you have 
for your hobbies, your pets, your hometown,  

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and all the beauty in the world. If you remind 
yourself of the existence of love often,  

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and remind yourself of the things you love, 
love will become accessible and open. Do so  

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by saying it out loud: ‘My friends love me’ 
or ‘I love my mum’, also by writing it down,  

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or just by thinking it. Often. The more you 
embrace your love for the world and anything  

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in it, the easier it will be to love yourself. So 
wherever you are, and whatever you do, be in love.

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If you enjoyed this video, please make 
sure to check out our full philosophies  

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00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:45,040
for life playlist and for more videos to 
help you find success and happiness using  

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