===TRANSCRIPT START===

Astonishing Legends Network. Disclaimer.

This bonus episode includes many spoilers for the film Sinners. Please do not listen unless you have seen the film.

It probably also includes the occasional use of strong language.

What it does not include is the good moderating and organization that Chris Cullari normally brings to the table. Hey, everybody, just Ed, Chris has a baby, and as we always talk about this, he's fucking busy. So he didn't see this movie we're about to talk about. He'll probably never see it. I think his movie days are behind him. So I have decided, now that I've bummed everyone out, I've decided to do a special Scared All The Time Sinners Roundtable with what we're calling, I think we're calling ourselves The Fang Bois, right? All right, B-O-I-S. No one's nodding, guys.

I'm nodded.

Yeah, dude, Fang Bois forever.

I am joined and are making official membership cards for The Fang Bois. All these people are gonna have a card joined by, I'm just gonna go by where you are on my screen. Pat Casey, screenwriter extraordinaire.

Hello.

That's his voice. Josh Miller, screenwriter extraordinaire.

Hey, hey.

That's his voice. Jackson Stewart, screenwriter extraordinaire.

Hi.

That's his voice.

It's a diverse group.

You're really watering down the impact of the word extraordinaire.

I just feel like it's not used enough. I'm pretty sure like fucking Spotify or whatever, like reads these and provides a transcript. So if we say extraordinaire three times, we'll start trending. I don't know how any of this works.

And anyone who's just out there like, I want to listen to something about an extraordinaire. They're going to just stumble across this pod.

Yeah. Yeah. Spotify is like, I hear you and I got you and they send them this. So anyway, I brought you guys on because you're all extraordinaire who like horror movies and Jackson was literally just in our vampire episode. So he knows he was there when we recorded that episode, the movie Sinners, smash it. People can't stop talking about on social media. Big movie didn't even fucking exist in a way that we could watch when we recorded that. So it felt weird when I edited the episode to not mention it at all. So I've brought you guys on to talk about the movie because I went to see it and I really liked it and I can see why people are really into it.

In your proper episode, do you reveal that Jackson is a vampire?

No, but we go vampire hunting with Jackson for a Patreon type thing.

You're not trying to bug him and hope that he leaves his mic on in the bathroom, like the guy in Jinx.

Jinx, dude, we gotta try to jinx him. But no, it didn't work because we recorded at night. So I would never have known.

I don't know if I've ever seen Jackson in the day.

Shit, Jackson.

Oh wait, no, well, you know what we forgot?

What's that?

It's sort of a mini 12DD reunion.

Oh wow.

Right. 12 diddly days, baby.

And I definitely saw you during the day on that because you got that in Corona.

That's true. He blew it. He didn't blow any covers. We just.

Well, all we know is that he wasn't a vampire then.

I see what Jackson is trying to do. He's clever.

I mean, that was years ago. And like, does he look any older to you guys?

No, he doesn't.

No. Fuck, man, he's got his curtain closed behind him.

It's like a blackout curtain to happen in here. Well, this is this is one way to live in for in Jackson's case. It might be forever. But yeah, no. So the 12 Deadly Days, we talk about that in the show pretty regularly. Yeah, Chris Cullari would really round that out. But again, he's not in a position to be on this with us.

He's not in a position to do anything other than raise his child.

I think. No. And write episodes of Scared All The Time.

Just burping babies, writing podcasts.

Burping out podcasts. So yeah, you guys all had a chance to see this film, this cinematic, extraordinary film, probably made by a filmmaking extraordinaire.

Yes.

Yeah, I would say so. I think everyone would agree on that one.

I'm sure he would not be pleased that everyone's an extraordinaire.

Well, I guess, where do we begin? So tell me first, I guess this is one movie where it's kind of the only movie I can ask this question and I'll start with Pat. Like what format did you see it in?

I just went down and saw it at the Cinemark in just regular 35-millimeter version. I went by myself, like pulled a big Con Draper move.

Oh, nice.

But the theater was packed and everyone was into it and the movie was great.

Yeah.

Very much. I mean, it's so interesting because it is like kind of a classic format. I mean, it was sort of like from dusk till dawn, but with all.

That was my immediate comparison as well.

That crossed with like Oh Brother, Where Are You?

As far as literal format, you just saw.

Oh, yes. Yes, you saw like a digital screening. That's what I meant, by the way, because this movie is a very, it's very much promoted on.

There's like two different kinds of 70 millimeter. That's crazy.

Yeah. For people at home who don't know. Yeah. This movie is, you can see it in 70 millimeter. You can see it in IMAX. You can see it in a different type of IMAX. You can see it in like traditional, I don't know, 16 by nine. So that's why I'm asking everybody.

You can watch it in 1.57.

Yeah. Yeah.

It makes up the aspect ratios all over the place.

Are there literally different aspect ratios on the different versions? Yeah.

Listeners can Google it right now. He has like a YouTube video.

That video is bonkers.

All the different ways you can see it and how they are different.

Yeah. That video is fucking bonkers. It is so wild.

I think the one that they're showing at the Vista, there's only like five places in the country you could even show that type of print or something.

Yeah. So for people who don't know at home, what Josh is talking about is the director, Ryan Coogler. He has a video of him just in a room somewhere, kind of giving a film class 101, what is film physically presentation of like, this is whatever perf 35 millimeter and this is 70 millimeter. Nick shows you the actual film, strip of film. Then he shows you how the aspect ratios are different on like a whiteboard. Then he shows you like actual images from the movie to be like, well, if you see it here, you're going to see how we framed it for this. And if you see an IMAX, it will expand. Then if it doesn't involve this crap. So yeah, even part of the marketing, which it doesn't seem like it really, in my opinion, had any marketing other than the internet got excited is very Barbenheimer situation. And so like even like the most, the longest piece of marketing I saw for it was Ryan Coogler in a room holding film, being like, come see my movie on one of these types of films. And it worked.

They have to like frame every shot for all those different aspect ratios.

That's how Coogler rules.

I want to see the cut of this where you can see the boom mic in every shot.

Yeah, I know.

One of the old open mat movies where they have to like block it out.

Yeah, I think that's pretty much.

You can listen to it on an old wax cylinder.

Yeah, the budget was $11 and it was $200 million to like green screen out or like take every take out all the boom operators and lights and stuff.

No advertising for this was super low. Yeah, a lot of people didn't know there were vampires in it. A lot of people I talked to didn't even know Jordan was playing two different parts in it, which I didn't know only thing I knew about it.

Initially, I had no idea. But I also hadn't seen the trailer or anything. I went to see the movie.

I feel like I'd only seen like the TV ad, but I didn't have the volume on. So I didn't know what the movie was at all. Like to me, I was like, oh, it's like some kind of black Western. Like I didn't get the vampire thing at all.

Yeah. Well, I mean, we'll get into it. Let me just round out so I can Chris is so much better at this shit than I am. So we got one digital 16 by nine. Josh, what did you see it in?

I saw it on digital IMAX, like LIMAX as they call it. Sure. That's AMC's, but it was a big Burbank AMC Burbank.

So I saw that version too. And then Jackson, would you say that?

I saw that that giant AMC Burbank.

Sure. OK. So we got a couple of LIMAX's and one and then one.

The only real IMAX in LA is the City Walk one.

What about what about Chinese?

I feel like that's some slightly different thing. Or maybe they're both.

I don't know. It's not as big as the one at the Universal City Walk. Right.

The Chinese one is fucking huge.

It is huge. But again, I feel like I could be wrong. I feel like I've heard people say that about City Walk, which could just be the dimensions of the screen, not even its size. I don't know.

All right. So here's what I know so far. We've all seen the movie. We saw all sorts of ways. And it sounds like none of us really knew what we were walking in for in conversations we had with people they didn't even know the movie existed or what it was about. Myself included. I mean, I Warner Brothers. I don't know. They're probably spending too much time trying to sell pallets of Warner Brother fucking studio store mouse pads than they are marketing movies, it seems like these days.

Whatever they did, it did work. Yeah, like it's hard.

They didn't do shit.

The marketing for centers because it is blown up.

I think Ed's saying Kugler worked.

I think Kugler and TikTok got us in seats. I drive to the stupid city and I have to look at a million billboards. Usually, we all do. I don't think you can see anything but movie billboards. I feel like I saw so little representation of centers as billboards.

Yeah.

I only saw the one on the side.

I saw the one on the side of fucking Warner Brother studio. That was it. I felt like they were just per usual didn't know it was up. I mean, look at Warner Brothers was also Oppenheimer, right?

No, they were Barbie.

I knew it was one of those two.

Universal was Oppenheimer.

Yes, but you have to understand that Chris Nolan made all of his movies at Warner Brothers for a long time, right?

Yeah. Then he broke up with them and went to Universal.

That's why my brain was there.

The studio are very close together in the greatest dream of LA.

Especially now when Universal moved right across the street from Warner Brothers.

They keep inching closer. That was very weird if you were ever during the strike, if you were picketing on that one random gate of Universal that's directly across from Warner Brothers.

Oh, I've been on that gate.

You could basically picket them both at the same time.

Yeah. Shaking my sign at them.

So it does seem like, and that's the only reason it felt weird not talking about it, is because it does seem like the Internet built the buzz around this movie. I mean, I was going to see it a second time before this, and we're talking about three weeks, it's been out for three weeks now, two and a half weeks, and it's still, you can't get a fucking ticket in like a decent seat.

Two and a half, this will be its third weekend.

Those are like always sold out.

Yeah, it's sold out everywhere. So that's pretty awesome. So I don't really know the best way into it other than I guess I'll give my hot take first, then we can just talk about it. It's not even a hot take. I left there being like the most interesting part of this fucking movie. I'm sorry, the least interesting part of this fucking movie is the vampire stuff. Like I was completely enthralled by the movie. The vampires show up, I think after the hour mark, and they don't hang around long. And I was like, it reminds me of that line in Simpsons. I don't remember who's talking, but they were like, told a boring story. And I remember who the other character was. They were like, pretty good story. Could have used a vampire. It kind of felt like the real life, big budget version of that meme, of like, this is an amazing, I was so enthralled by the world building and all the characters. And I kind of just thought this was going to be a movie of them trying to open a bar versus the clan. And then it ended up being a fucking vampire movie. And so, you know, I feel like both work, but I didn't, for a movie that's definitely a vampire movie, it kind of feels like not a vampire movie.

Yeah, I mean, when the vampires show up, it definitely feels kind of random, but it's like the vampire, I mean, it's a thematically rich movie, and the vampires and the clan are almost the same thing, right?

No, yeah, I'm not getting into the layers there. You're right. There's definitely, there's a lot of metaphor in this film.

But definitely, I mean, Josh and I were talking about that the other day about like if Cougar had explained this movie to us, and I feel like both of us would have been like, why vampires? It seems like some random thing to do a movie about.

Well, then I also saw somebody talking online or it was a dream I had, I think it was someone online as I wouldn't have been this clever, who was saying that the lead clan guy's name is just Hollywood. It's just Hollywood.

The dude who sells them the building?

Yeah. His name is like Harwood or something. And people were saying like, that's Hollywood, like taking people of color stories and fucking.

And it's exactly the same.

Yeah, I don't know. I'll cut. Well, this is when we do it like this. I can't cut it.

His name was Dr. Acula.

Yeah, exactly.

No, you shouldn't get that because that's a good point. I mean, that's what the whole movie was about, really, right? It's like Smoke and Stack wanted to have like their own black people set space and the vampires come in to like try and steal their culture and assimilate things and they just want to like let them have their own thing. Like I feel like the vampires were, I don't know, the record industry, right?

Okay. Yes. Okay. So that's 100% correct. I just didn't see the Hollywood slash Harwood of it all until I think someone said it on online. Then I was like, oh, I don't fucking know.

Was Harwood the old dude that shows up at the end who like screwed them over on the land deal?

Yeah. The guy who initially sold them.

Yeah.

That scene fucking slapped.

I mean, that's that's always an audience plea pleaser just like mow down some clan guys. Everyone can enjoy that.

And it was like the whole movie. I'm like, where's that cool shot of Michael Jordan with his Tommy gun coming toward the camera with the time again?

Oh, was that in the was that in the trailer?

Yeah. Well, because I remember like, yeah, I mean, just like Josh said, waiting the entire movie, I'm like, when is he going to be shooting the Tommy gun that in into the camera?

Because that was like my main image I associated this, which is weird because it's a decidedly daytime event. So you must be like it's he's not shooting it at a vampire, presumably.

I mean, that was really nice.

I hadn't thought that far when I was watching the movie, but.

It was, that was a really nice way to, I mean, at least for me, like I sort of knew it was vampires, but it was like, I kind of forgot it when I sat in theaters. They heard it was like from dusk till dawn-esque, but I was like, oh, maybe they're demons or something. And then he's like going and shooting out.

Yeah, I thought maybe they were going to be demons, especially the title sinners. I thought.

Exactly.

They're defending a juke joint in the movie, but even just based on the commercial, I thought they were defending like a church. I thought it was going to be about a church.

Yeah, that was way off. On the very first ad, it's like so ambiguous.

Totally.

It was one of those things where I couldn't even tell if there was a supernatural element or just like a stylistically weird element.

Okay.

Then somebody at some point was like, it has vampires. I was like, oh, what?

Yeah. Well, speaking of stylistic choices, we've already talked about the large format and all that stuff. I mean, the thing that really blew me back and I'm like, oh, I'm happy people are seeing it in theaters. The cinematography is beautiful, but more importantly is the sound design is phenomenal. Where I saw it, at least, it blew my mind and all the fucking dancing through time with your ancestors, shit really hits with the sound design. I don't know how hard that scene hits at home, we're on an airplane or something.

Watching it on your phone.

But in a big iMac screen with big loud fucking speakers, you're like, wow, this was edited and filmed with intention, and that intention was not for you to see it on an airplane.

Hell no.

That through some tinny headphones, you're like, why are they fucking dancing? This is stupid.

I mean, the music was such a key part of the whole thing. I love that the vampires were also a musical act.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Their first song.

The vampire jug band.

Yeah. The first song they sang was kind of silly, but then the second song they sing when... What's your face?

Well, they're dancing out in the fucking field.

That riff.

No, no. First the one where they're singing like a real sad one when she goes out to just talk to them in the parking lot. And I was like, this song is beautiful.

Yeah.

And then in the field, it's funny cause like now they're incorporating. Cause I mean, saying something's a vampire movie, it's like every different vampire movie, like the rules are a little different. And this one, it was like the vampires were kind of a hive mind in a way that I'm not sure we've really seen.

Yeah. Although this movie, and I guess I appreciate it, didn't have that super cliche line that all like 80s and 90s vampire movies, wherever someone's like, forget everything you saw in the movies, forget everything you think you know about. Yeah. Here's the new rules that are exactly the same as the normal rules. But I changed one thing for this movie.

This one was really heavy, like such a big part of the movie was about having to invite people in. But I don't think they ever even really described that rule. They were just telling on you already knowing it.

And I think that's great. I think that's like, hey, this is our fourth Spider-Man movie. We all know how the fuck he became Spider-Man. We don't even need to mention Uncle Ben anymore.

Are you sure we don't have to have like a flashback of Bruce Wayne's parents getting killed?

Yeah, exactly.

With the girls flying everywhere.

Once the characters in this movie kind of look to each other and said, this is not said, but just know this is vampires. Now they're doing that scene from The Thing where they're burning the blood, but with garlic. It's like, yeah, they know what this is. We don't need to tell.

Do you feel like that was an homage to The Thing rather than to the faculty?

No, yeah. I do love the faculty. Holy shit.

Wait, what are they doing in the faculty?

It's the drug that Josh Hartnett sells.

They snort it.

It's like pens full of powder and you got to snort it because that's the drug kills the aliens.

But the alien finger can take the bottom of the pen off or whatever.

Yeah. That's the Kaiser Soze reveal about what really happened in that scene. I hope Cougar has gone on the record that he loves the faculty.

Well, Cougar probably loves the faculty based on the interviews I've seen with him. The only two interviews I've seen was that like, watch my movie on all these films and the podcast interview he did where he says that this is that he like was super inspired by the Puss in Boots movie.

I saw that.

Wait, that's real?

Which one? Yeah.

Oh, I saw like a post about that, but I thought someone was joking.

No, he was like, bro, I love Puss in Boots. Also, the villain in this movie is like, I saw that and I was like, oh, their eyes need to be red and shine.

Like the recent Puss in Boots one where like Death is chasing him.

Yes, correct.

Or the first one. Yeah, like that recent one was pretty badass.

Yeah, so it seems like he takes inspiration exactly where he wants to take it from and would have no issues being like, yeah, this is based on a real Ghostbusters episode or something. Like he has no problem with that shit. He's not trying to be like highfalutin or crazy or cool about it.

But yeah, music, once the vampires absorbed all the people from the club, then it's like there's that big dance sequence out in the field where I feel like he's already incorporating black music into it, even though he's out there dancing with the king in the dance or whatever.

Lord of the Dance, Michael Flatley.

Yeah, Michael Flatley. Yeah, I think that's by no means the birthplace of vampirism. I guess that would be like Transylvania ass shit. But I don't know, like, Irish people, you ever been to a real bar in Ireland? They're always singing and shit. We don't want them to. And so they just incorporated that in a big way.

I just picturing you grumpy at some Irish pub.

Just it's too loud in here.

Everybody shut up.

No, it was rad. I think the only the only like vampire rule thing I had a problem with in the movie is that as as we've established, like everyone knows the vampire rules and this guy is from Ireland and he seems like he's from the old country and the main vampire, I'm saying, the main bad guy. He seems like he's from the old country. He seems like he's been around vampiring for a while. And we're just going to wait till three minutes before the fucking sun comes up to you're still doing this. You've been around long enough to know, give yourself a buffer.

He got distracted.

He likes living on edge and every vampire has that problem, man, in movies. Like it's happened so many times.

But I'm saying I can expect it from the new vampires, but from him, I was surprised.

I like that night living dead thing where it's like they're so slow, they're never going to get to me and you just get so comfortable with it. And then suddenly you just take a little breather and bites you on the neck. It's like you got a little too comfortable with it.

I mean, I still never fully understood the rules of these vampires. Like there's the scene where the lady sort of explains like the hates or whatever and the difference between them and vampires. And I was like, so which are these? How does this work?

Where is their soul? I think she says like that these aren't hates though. She just straight up says like they're just vampires.

Why even bring up the hates at all? That's my note for Coogler. I was like, don't bring up a monster that's not gonna appear in your movie.

I think it's maybe cultural just to say that we have other types of things culturally, but also maybe, I guess it's a little weird to have a character not question what's happening at all though.

No, I'm not saying they shouldn't have talked about it. I mean, this also is like falls into the category of like how people are turned into vampires. We're just like, if you get bit, you're a vampire like moments later, and it seems like vampirism spread so quickly that like in the thing, everyone on earth would be a vampire like four days after this event.

Yeah, I forget the number they give in the thing of how long it would take.

There's like that computer simulation on their like Apple 2e.

It's pretty long. I think it's like 72,000 hours, but when you look at it, you're like, that's like a lot of years.

Oh, is it? I thought it was something short about that.

Or it was like going to happen in like weeks or something because it's not like, well, I mean, it feels that way because we're like, oh, hours.

Oh my God. That's but then someone broke it down and it was like, yeah, I have no time for that.

They didn't even have to contain the thing. It would have been fine.

Yeah, no, the thing is so scary. OK, yeah, I guess it's if they didn't stop to dance every five fucking minutes, maybe they would get some more numbers up on the board. But it seemed like dancing was a priority first place.

He's just on the run from those Native American vampire hunters.

And I do love that shot, but I am also like, what is he jumping down from? Like he jumped from the top of frame into frame.

And he's getting blasted by the sun and he's like smoking and stuff. But he's also basically fine.

He's standing on the crane, the camera.

That scene does rule, though. That's a good scene. I like that.

The vampire's later spike used to run around during the day, but just with like a blanket thrown over.

Yeah, getting all smoky.

Well, didn't he like when he like black out the windows of his car or something so he could drive and like, oh, yeah, isn't that didn't that happen on Buffy movies and TV shows play pretty fast and loose with it when they need to.

And then other times, yeah, it's like like in From Dusk Till Dawn. It's just like one little point of light hits them. They'll fucking explode.

I mean, it's like it's like it's like superhero movies. Like everyone's as powerful as is needed for that scene.

And then like a random mugger will sneak up behind Batman and knock him out like the animated show when they need it to happen.

What's the best example of this? I mean, it's the original Superman serials with George Reeve, where it's like he's they're shooting the gun at him and it bounces off his chest and the guy gets frustrated running out of bullets, throws it at Superman. He fucking ducks like that's the weirdest opening ever. It's like you just took eight, six bullets to the chest and then you ducked.

I didn't want it to mess up my hair.

Anyway, so yeah, so I like that we immediately went to nitpicking a very good movie.

It's funny, Ed, you were saying it reminded you of a Simpsons quote. I was thinking it reminds me of my favorite quote from the movie Orange County, which is such a screenwriter-y inside joke, but where they're at some dumb-

The Mike White movie?

Yeah. The Mike White Jack Black movie, where it's like Colin Hanks and Sissy Spacek's daughter in real life, I mean, are at some dumb frat party at this college and she's tied. I think it's Nat Faxon.

Yeah, it wasn't Nat Faxon.

Win an Oscar for writing The Descendants. Descendants. But it's just like this random cutaway thing where she's been stuck in a conversation to him and he's telling her about his screenplays writing. He's like, it's about vampires, ostensibly, but actually it's about the reunification of Germany or paraphrasing the line.

Oh, you're not wrong. That's what we watch.

But like the ostensibly part is the quotable.

Ostensibly, yeah. It's ostensibly about vampires.

Well, I can see how you got there then. Yeah, because this is a very layered metaphor, theme ass movie. But I also think if you took all that away, it's still just a very fun movie.

It's still cool. I mean, the thing is, like, I would say the vampires are the least interesting part of the overall movie, but I don't know if I'd like it as much if it didn't have vampires, personally. I love that it went there.

Even if there is a replacement, I'm saying, like, there would still be the clan. It would still be like a green room meets.

Yeah, but then we wouldn't be talking about it as much. That's part of the weird thing.

It would have won an Academy Award otherwise. Yeah, that's the difference.

It might still win an Academy Award. It might.

It might get nominated for some stuff, man. This is a legit, really good movie.

It's really good. It's really good.

And the fact that it's about real stuff and has real themes. Wait, hold on, guys.

Is there a vampire? Don't let him in.

Can we pause this for a second? I'm gonna relocate to a different part of the house.

Oh yeah, sure. And we're back, yeah, we were talking about how it's a very good movie, and that even if it didn't have vampires, it would be not maybe as good. But I will say that I, go ahead.

Gimel DoToro's fucking fish fucking movie won Best Picture, so.

It's true, man. That was a lean year, maybe. I don't know.

I mean, I think Black Panther was nominated for Best Picture, and I feel like Sinners was better than Black Panther.

Get Out won, and that's got a crazy like bordering. I mean, it's not supernatural, but it's crazy sci-fi twist.

I will say this. Sinners is a big enough, big enough hit right now. I don't know if by the time this Academy Awards come around, if people were still going to remember, but I think if it's a big enough hit, if it's a culturally enough important, like everyone went to see it movie, it'll pop up because I think Best Picture is like 10,000 you can do now. You can nominate 10,000 movies. What? Really? Yeah.

You have no nomination for Sonic 3.

Guys, what the fuck? You need to see if they'll do it this year.

Best animated? Come on.

Honestly though, maybe during this conversation, do you think the biggest mistake you guys made on Sonic 3 was not putting a vampire in it?

They do now. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what happened.

Shadow should have turned out to be a vampire.

Who's the studio on that?

Paramount.

There you go. They cared about the movie. They marketed it. They were proud of it. You got to work for Warner Brothers where they don't give a shit about it after it comes out and hope the TikTok picks it up.

Okay. I have some more vampire related questions. Can we parse the logic of this movie a little bit?

Sure. Yeah.

So it's like basically once you become a vampire, you're pure evil instantly, seemingly.

Well, I think that's the hive mind thing you were talking about.

Right. But then it's like once Stack becomes a vampire, because he's given Smoke the leg, come on, join us. It's better in here that it seems like he's lying.

It does.

But then at the end of the movie, like the whole movie is like vampires are pure evil. But then at the end, when they go and see Buddy Guy, it's more like actually vampires are pretty chill dudes when it gets down to it. Is it that they were evil while they were being controlled by the white guy and now that the white guy is gone, now they're just chill?

They have their own autonomy. They had decades to grow.

They did have decades to grow to buy those sweaters. It's a great sweater. I was going to say, oh, well, once they kill the white guy, he's chill now. But I think his brother let him live before they killed the white guy outside. So he wouldn't have been pure evil. So you can't, I guess, use the logic of once he's no longer under the hive mind of that guy, he's chill.

I mean, it seems like maybe Stack and What's-her-face, Haley, were not really that evil the whole time.

I don't know. They seemed pretty into it outside.

During the big fight, they're like, we gotta get out of here. And they run out of the building. And I was like, why did they do that?

That's true.

I didn't like the logic.

Interesting. I mean, I guess I didn't think too much about it. At that point, I was like, wait, there's vampires in this?

Can I pitch my alternate ending to this movie, by the way?

Yeah. Alternate ending or alternate 19th fucking post credit sequence?

It was only one post credit sequence that should have been part of the movie.

Two post credit sequences.

Was there?

Wait.

At the absolute end, there's like, you hear like another song, like a full like blues song played.

But no video?

No, there's video like they're in the church. It's the character buddy guy when he's younger and he like plays a cover. He plays a cover, a full cover.

Let's see the movie again.

I left after the first ending. Oh, no.

Yeah, I did too. I didn't know there was one even later. I thought it was just like, oh, cool. It's the 1990s.

I didn't know either, but I was like, the guy worked for Marvel. They probably.

I feel like we should have gone even further in the future to see what those two crazy vampires were up to next.

Yeah, we just suddenly cut to like, they're in some sort of like cybernetic war against the robots.

They're two of the hosts on The Voice or something.

But so when we got to Buddy Guy, like A, it was like one shot of him playing the guitar, and you're like, oh, this guy turned out to be Buddy Guy, then it's like the credit star. And you're like, that was the end. And then Buddy Guy's credited, I'm like, they gave him an acting credit for that. And then we come back for this whole scene. But part of me was like, he knows that there are vampires out there. He's prepared. Perhaps Buddy Guy has rigged his blues joint up as a vampire trap. And he's going to flip some switch and turn on some solar lights like Blade. And actually he's got some kind of a weapon hidden inside his guitar. He's been waiting for this the whole time.

Yeah, none of these people in my band are real. They just fall. They're just cardboard cutouts that fall forward.

This band has been a front for 40 years.

They're just my stakeholders.

Pat and I did have a movie idea that are we all familiar with Bob Seeger and the Silver Bullet Band?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, totally.

How dare you ask us that?

Just do a movie where it's revealed that the whole band is just a bunch of vampire hunters.

Or werewolf hunters, yeah.

Although you also need silver to kill vampires and some vampires.

That's true. They could be just battling monsters in general, but like the band.

It was supposed to be werewolves.

Is like a cover for them to travel the world having these adventures. But you got to be proficient in vampire and werewolf hunting. But you also have to be able to play your instrument good. It's like a similar concept as Buckaroo Banzai.

Just some guys at like a stage. This is the heaviest amps I've ever moved in here. You know what I mean? No questions. Don't worry about it. There's only two problems I have with that alternate ending.

My idea is bad. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that.

But that is the idea though. I'm not still waiting for it.

No, no.

That was the end. Okay. My only problem with that is that we mentioned it before we got in the air. But return to Salem's Law, we've already have old ass guy hunting a vampire and it's the best, because he's actually just a Nazi hunter and it's amazing.

Played by director Sam Fuller, right?

Yeah. Sam Fuller and Moriarty get after it.

Michael Moriarty.

Not Moriarty from Sherlock Holmes.

Yeah.

No relation.

They should have done a movie where Michael Moriarty played Professor Moriarty.

Maybe they did.

They probably did. It seems like he was doing. For a guy who's like just Bill Burr with the time machine, like he did have a lot of work.

Bill Burr would kill about that.

No, Bill Burr should play Moriarty. I wish Michael Moriarty was big enough that we would get a Bill Burr biopic.

Now I want to remake Q the winged serpent, but with Bill Burr playing the Michael Moriarty part.

That's how I watched it, dude. I watched Q after already knowing Bill Burr, so I'm like, that's just Bill Burr. There's that, and then I forgot the other reason why. The other reason is nice. I am glad there was no real undercut to the sentiment that it was the best day of all our lives.

Yeah, that's why my idea would have ruined the end.

Yeah, that I thought was real nice.

You're not selling this idea, Pat.

You undercut yourself there, man.

I get that because I prefer not undercutting stuff because I so often undercut things. So it's like I look for the undercut or I do the undercut. And so when I see someone not do it, I'm like, oh, it's brave, brave son of a bitch. And it's like, it works better every time. Like just to be sentimental is really nice.

But like at the same buddy guy, he's been walking around his whole life. He became a big music star and he knows they're fucking vampires out there. He's got to think about that every day.

For all we know, every one of his songs in that universe was like they're real, vampires are real.

Another vampire song, dude.

And it was like, really? Nobody's even asking for these vampire songs. It's like they're going to be using them one day. Because if you listen to all these albums in a row, it tells you how to find them, how to get rid of them.

I love it.

Yeah. So Jackson, you haven't said much. Did you hate this film?

I mean, the one thing.

He's talking about vampires after your podcast.

Yeah. He is sick of talking about vampires.

He was talking about vampires the other week. No. I mean, the main movie I was thinking of watching, it was The Great Ernest Dickerson's.

Demon Night.

Demon Night.

Yeah.

I was thinking about Demon Night too.

Shit. I haven't seen it.

I just re-watched that or I put it on last night in preparation for this and man, that movie is so fucking good.

Well, I haven't seen it. I'm sure some people who are listening haven't seen it. Give us the quick, what's the run? What is this movie about?

You explain it in the Crypt Keeper voice.

Yeah. Another, wasn't he on 12DD? Yeah.

He was. The voice of the Crypt Keeper, John Cassier.

Yeah. There we go.

All connected.

It does a similar thing where it's like, apart from the Crypt Keeper intro, the start of it is like, oh, there's a chase and you're following William Sadler, who is the bad guy in every movie you've seen up to that point, and square jawed, super handsome, Billy Zane chasing after him. Then you're like, oh, is it some crime movie? Did this guy do something bad? Then you get a little further into it, and the big reveal is like, oh, he's there to arrest him, and then they find out there's something shady about the Billy Zane character. He ends up punching a hole through a woman's face, and you reveal he's a demon. Whoa. Yeah, and it's like-

I like that response.

Well, a woman's face was not at all what I thought the end of that sentence is going to be.

No, I know. Well, yeah. Or I think it's a guy's face. Sorry, I'm out now.

I'm out. I'm not interested anymore.

But anyway, if you didn't have the intro with The Cryptkeeper, it would be very much like one of these huge left turn genre shifts, and one of the things I really liked in that movie, which I wish they did a little more of in this, is every person you think is going to make it out of that movie, the order is like completely fucked. You're just like, oh, like, CCH Pounder is probably going to die pretty early, and it's like, no, she makes it like basically to the end of the movie. Jada Pinkett Smith is like the heroine. It's just all the people.

Jada Pinkett Smith looks like a newer movie, at least from the 90s on.

Look, it was pre the Smith part of her name.

Yeah, it was Jada Pinkett Smith.

It falls into the same subgenre as Sinners in that ultimately, it's about this motley crew hold up in a place where they're like, how do we defend ourselves from the supernatural monsters that are trying to get in here?

Got you.

The demons can't get in because they have this protection barrier from this magic potion that William Sadler puts down and seals off the doors, but it's like he's running out of it. And I did sort of wish there was like something like that rather than just like you just say, hey, get in here, come on in. And that counts as your invite. And then they can all enter.

That's the mythology.

I was about to say, yeah.

That's what I mean. Like it just kind of was just like, oh, okay. Just one person like crazy.

I mean, that part of the movie feels a little rushed.

I think, understandably, I think there was no finite amount of magic juice they had to use on the doors because the way you describe that other movie, and in some ways you could describe this movie is as people are locked in a place and they're surrounded by a monster. But this movie isn't that. It isn't that until it is for a minute. And I feel like these other movies, including Dust Till Dawn and stuff, there is no world I give a shit outside of that fucking sin that like that theater, that juke joint, that fucking titty twister, the titty twister. Yeah, like whatever it is, I don't get my world is inside of this for the next however long where, like I said, I was really fucking glued to my, to my seat with like just the world building of a world where we're never gonna spend any more time in at the end of this movie, which is upsetting a little bit to me. There's a fucking motorcycle outside. It's very annoying, but it's on, it's on.

I didn't even hear it.

I didn't hear it.

Well, it might have been a dog. That said-

Dog riding a motorcycle?

Yeah, I think it was a dog riding. It was Poochie's going back to his planet. No, so yes, I bring this up because what did you guys think about the first hour and change the movie? Like I, and I, it was one of those things where afterwards, I found out that like the Asian family owning the two stores across from each other is like a real thing. It's like based on a real place in the south somewhere, I forgot what the town was.

Based on like a real family that owned two stores across?

Okay.

Not like that's like a thing, like all Asian families own two stores on opposite sides of the street.

No, and I think the most interesting thing that I think this showed, I don't remember if this movie does that in this, or if it's highlighted in a way that I noticed, but I think in the real one, this like Asian family who owned the two stores, they had like a whites only store directly across the street from the black store. But then I thought about that because there is a thing where it's like, hey, go get your dad or whatever, and the girl has to go to the store across the street to get the other parent, the mom, the mom, to make the sign. And so I was like, but I didn't see any of that kind of like in your face imagery about whether or not it was segregated. But I was like, oh, so that's really interesting. Like he was pulling from all these like real historical things about that time period and opening a business and owning land and who would have been the shopkeepers at that time in that part of the country. And so I was like, oh, there's a lot of like historically smart and interesting and cool things that I would have to look up later. And then vampires, which I already knew about.

I mean, it had like a super long act one, which I feel like probably like if we wrote an act one that long, we'd get a ton of pushback, but Cougar had total control. So he was just like, fuck off, I'm doing this and it totally works because it was all really interesting and you were with the characters and just like stuff like haggling over whatever, like when he gets the little girl to like watch his truck.

Yeah, that's awesome.

And he's like, you should haggle with me, like demand more.

Which I think is also probably on point for the themes they're building, especially since right after that, the Asian storekeeper lady haggles with them like super hard. So there's a lot of stuff for me that was great in terms of, yeah, there's if you and I wrote any of those scenes, they'd be like, there's no need to waste time and money on the girl haggle, you can just see it inside. But also we had to shoot those guys outside the show, they're serious, which is part of that little girl moment. The only part that didn't track for me, or at least I misread it or something, I didn't understand, I feel like, it's been a little while since I've seen the movie, I feel like the cousin or the nephew, whatever the fuck it is, is asking about how one of my group, how the DeJordans' father died. He's like, oh, could you finally tell me now? And he's like, oh yeah, my brother beat the shove, killed him or whatever. And then I want to say the very next scene was the other Michael B. Jordan at that grave outside. And I didn't know that was for his kid at all.

No, we weren't supposed to know at first, you figure that out later, I think.

Because it's got a little kid hand and stuff, but I genuinely thought it was his father's grave because they literally just went from, I killed my dad, duped someone at a grave. And I was like, oh, I guess he feels bad for killing his dad. He still has remorse in some way for that. And now he's, but also why would you put a little kid's hand on your dad's grave? I was so confused. Thank God that woman came in to be like, what are you doing here? Cause I was like, I can't be confused for one more second.

Is dad of a tiny hand?

That's all the shit I was like, dude, man.

He's like Chris Elliot in Scary Movie too.

Yeah.

He's the little one, it's stronger.

Yeah, exactly, dude. I thought it was like, oh, you beat the shot of your dad, but he was like a little kid. That's not that impressive now.

You can write that movie, Ed.

Yeah. That was the only part that I was confused, but then I figured it out at the end. Because then later I was like, why is there a baby at this battle right now? It's Tommy Gun Battle.

It's Smoke and Stack just being gangsters the way they were. They reminded me of the Shelby Brothers and Peaky Blinders too. They had the same backstory being like World War I heroes who came back, but they're part of a despised minority, so they got to become gangsters instead.

It feels very Fargo too, like the show, Fargo the Show. Those could have been Fargo characters.

I can see it.

Yeah.

Fargo's... I want to see a vampire season of Fargo.

I mean, I want to see a Fargo season that takes place in the 20s, like the Twin Cities, Minneapolis and St. Paul were big gangster cities during Prohibition.

What was the Chris Rocks series? Wasn't that like from the 60s or something or... The Chris Rocks season was, I think, like a period piece.

It was a period piece, but it wasn't... A, it wasn't in the Twin Cities. It was in Kansas City, I think.

Okay.

It was in like the 50s or whatever. I want specifically the 1912s in St. Paul.

We are getting real off topic of vampires.

No, we're not because we got into this.

Fargo, the TV show season idea.

But it came with the vampires, you know what I'm saying? I mean, if you want to talk vampires, we can talk about the kid from The Big Green and Sandlot playing a vampire in X-Files.

That was a good episode. Yeah.

Wow.

That was one of the all-time great episodes of X-Files.

I like that you're like, if you want to talk vampires, we can talk about.

One episode of X-Files.

One episode of the X-Files.

Guys, well, I mean, okay, so let's round this.

Near Dark was the other vampire movie that Sid just made me think about.

I love Near Dark and people hate on it hard for some reason. Yeah.

That's crazy.

Yeah, people do.

You should not be friends with those people, Ed.

People find that movie boring.

I don't like this evil, dude.

Yeah. People, they find it boring.

No, they don't.

No, they do.

They don't. No.

They hate our way of life. They hate our way of life, dude. They don't like that we like to watch that movie. Isn't it Soundtrack by Tangerine Dream?

It is.

Yeah, it fucking rules.

Yeah, that movie slaps and they fucking.

They're just like putting vampires in the south, that very American wide open spaces kind of thing, that vampire western.

Well, Salem's Lot.

The other Josh Miller exploding in the sun.

Yes.

Oh yeah. Other Josh Miller.

The goat.

Well, since we're getting towards the end of where we want to take up your time. We've all seen Sinners. We all like Sinners. We have complaints about it because that's just what you do when you leave a theater. You're going to talk about movies and just mine.

I don't think we're even complaints. They're just questions.

Yeah, exactly.

Topics.

It was very fun. I'm excited that there's, you know, obviously there's the, the idea that a, an original rated R movie did well. That's always good for everyone. But now where would you, it's too fresh, but I'm saying where, where are we putting Sinners on? Like, like I would watch it again when that doesn't happen with movies that often these days, I do want to see it again, maybe even in theaters before it leaves. But like, um, is it going to be a top five vampire movie for you guys? Or is that not even anywhere near that?

I don't know, because it's funny, because like of movies that have vampires in them from Dusk till Dawn is probably one of my favorites. But if you really wanted me to rank like my favorite vampire movies, I would almost disqualify it in a sense. Yeah, like, I don't know. It's like not because it's basically just they get trapped with vampires and then halfway through the movie. Then it just turns into an endless action scene. Like it's not even though it does do stuff of like Thomas Avini getting bit and like trying to hide it and stuff. So it's kind of doing a lot.

I was like a bit more like a zombie movie bit really.

I mean, like, it's not really running through like what I think of as classic vampire movie tropes and things in the same way that even kind of like a modern, you know, like Fright Night, which is, you know, classic vampire movie because it's modern day and it's in the suburbs and I do love hurting things. But it's still doing all the like basic vampire movie things. And I kind of feel the same way.

Fright Night has got the great like sort of seduction storyline going on with the girlfriend.

I mean, Sinners is sexy. So it has that vampire thing covered.

They both, they are both sexy.

But the vampires aren't really sexy.

Yeah, but you're right.

Humans are boning all over the place.

There's not a lot of agency. I guess this movie doesn't give a lot of agency to the idea of we need to defeat vampires. And I think that's what makes a vampire movie a vampire movie a little bit, where I got to find a mentor, I got to make tools, I need to build plans. We have a vampire problem. And where this was like our bar is not having the opening we'd hoped for.

It's kind of opening a small business movie.

The Native American Vampire Hunters were going to like come back in Act Three.

Yeah, that's what I think.

I wonder though, like now that this is such a big hit.

No, we're going to get our like Furiosa like prequel movie.

I forgot they existed, honestly, guys, until right until you just said that.

Yeah, because I was like, oh, they're coming back in the end.

And then it was like, no, like in the morning, maybe they were going to show up and help clean up or whatever. I wonder now this is such a big hit if there will be some kind of sequel or maybe a spinoff about them.

I'm saying a Furiosa prequel.

I mean, they're sure they're going to do the like 90s SATT sequel with Michael B. Jordan and Haley Steinfeld.

Maybe where he's wearing like the Dwayne Wayne flip up sunglasses.

I would love to see that cool, like Belbit Devoe look that he had.

I just don't know what that is. Like what is that? What would that movie be? It would just be them two being like, should we go see Buddy Guy today? And they go, no, not yet.

Maybe they got to fight some other kind of monsters.

Probably like right after that, it'd be like, oh, maybe it's like a getaway kind of thing, like with Steve McQueen and Allie McGrath.

It has to have a musical element.

It has to have thematic elements about race in America, which I feel like we're not qualified to come up with that, but Coogler is.

But what a good time to do it though, with the Rodney King stuff that was right around then.

Yeah, dude, those white caps were all vampires probably when you think about it.

Well, in that case, they would be buds.

I don't know, guys. I think I'm gonna do a Some Like It Hot situation where they have to make believe their ladies at the Copacabana style place.

Wow, left field pitch.

Well, I only thought about it because I don't know if you guys have seen this film.

Some Like It Hot.

I haven't really seen it. Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

So do you remember the opening of Some Like It Hot, which is fucking rules?

We're screenwriter extraordinaires, Ed.

Yeah, it's true. So you should know. Then you remember the opening of Some Like It Hot. They witness a fucking gangland mafia murder.

Massacre, right?

Yeah. And it's like that movie opens and it whomps from the get, dude. And it's a totally different movie until it becomes a comedy. It really opens hard as hell. And there's violence and awesome shots of that car. You don't know what the fuck's going on. And then they're like, Mrs. Doubtfire and the rest of the movie, you know, drive by fucking fruitings and shit the rest of the film. But like it opens so hard. And I actually did think of that movie at the opening of this movie because it opens hard. Like the dude showing up in the car, like busted up ass car and he's holding like half a guitar and what the fuck has happened to this dude. So yeah, I like, was it, who was it? Brian De Palma, who was, who hates, just fucking hates any movie that opens with the skyline. He's like, it's the worst possible way you can open a movie. Like don't just fucking show us this. He's like, it's your one opportunity to like just confuse people, I guess. It's your one opportunity to do something. And it's like, you can open like, and I think because it was De Palma who did the blow up remake, the blow out, which fucking rules. And that movie opens with a fucking different movie entirely than you realize they're editing it. And that's very like his, his thing.

That one, that piece of guitar at the beginning, I thought at the end that he was going to stake the vampire with the guitar neck.

Me too, me too. But he didn't.

Now I just want to make a movie that opens with a skyline shot that's fucking awesome. Prove him wrong.

It's in a different universe too, the city. It's like, here we are in downtown De Palma. Like, De Palma fucking Minnesota.

Absolutely.

So it's insult to injury. Well anyway, this was fun. I think we all saw a movie separately. And then we talked about it for a podcast that has nothing to do with movies and less to do with vampires. But it just felt weird to not talk about it. So thanks for taking the time guys. And next time, yeah, thank you. Next time, Chris will be here to have some semblance of like organization because I don't know how to do that.

I think you did great, Ed.

I think you're a podcast host extraordinaire.

Well, thanks. Yeah. So everyone, this is the first installment and only installment of Evening With The Fang Bois recorded at five in the afternoon with sunlight in every one of our windows just to keep the vampires away.

We got to do it again. Keep talking about vampire movies.

Well, yeah, I think I'm happy to do it. If people like this, let us know if people had it. They'll have it. Jesus Christ. If people had it, then now I'm keeping it, you jerks. If people had it, also, they'll let us know.

So they're going to want to hear more of our ideas for Fargo seasons.

Oh, maybe we can start just doing that. Fang Bois on Fargo. The Fang Bois on Fargo is going to be top the fucking charts on iTunes soon. Yeah, guys.

Thanks for having us.

Thanks for coming out. I know you guys are all real, real busy. So that's real. I said that. That was not sarcasm. I know you guys are really busy. All right. I'm going to hit stop here.

We did it.

We did it.

===TRANSCRIPT END===