Niccolò Machiavelli was an influential author, philosopher, and historian during the Italian
Renaissance. Often called the father of modern political philosophy and political science,
he is best known for his work, "The Prince." This book serves as a practical guide for new rulers,
offering realistic advice on governance. Machiavelli changed the way people thought about
politics by separating it from ethics. Before him, politics was seen as part of moral behavior
but Machiavelli focused on what really works in politics, not on how things should ideally
be. This approach is called political realism and it emphasizes practical and effective governance.
The lessons in "The Prince" are not just for political leaders—they can be applied
to everyday life as well. And not just in Machiavelli’s time - It's still important
today because it provides deep insights into human nature and power. Machiavelli believed that people
are naturally self-interested and unreliable. In "The Prince," Machiavelli introduced the ideas
of virtù and fortuna. Virtù refers to skill and cleverness, while fortuna means luck and
chance. According to Machiavelli, a successful ruler needs virtù to navigate the unpredictable
nature of fortuna. This involves having foresight and being effective, which are crucial for
maintaining power in ever-changing situations. Virtù is not about being morally good;
it's about being effective and capable. It includes qualities like courage, wisdom,
decisiveness, and adaptability. A leader with virtù can shape their destiny and make tough
decisions when necessary. This earns them respect because people trust leaders who are thoughtful
and strategic in protecting their interests and handling challenges, rather than those who are
overly generous or desperate for approval. In society, just as there are financial
hierarchies, there is also a hierarchy of respect and reputation. By understanding
and applying Machiavelli's ideas, whether you're dealing with colleagues, friends,
or even family, these strategies can help you command respect. Let’s see what his teachings are.
1. It’s Important How Other People Perceive You
Machiavelli says "Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are.”
Machiavelli believed that how others perceive you is far more important
than what’s actually true about you. It might sound surprising,
but perception is the most important thing when it comes to gaining respect from others.
Think about it - have you ever met someone who may not be the kindest or most honest,
but somehow still commands respect? Maybe they appear wise, fair, or courageous. That’s the
power of perception. It’s not about who you really are; it’s just about how you’re seen by others.
In the real world, perception is everything. Just think about social media—how many times have you
scrolled through pictures of people having the time of their lives? We can’t know the full story
behind those pictures, but they certainly look like they’re living an amazing life,
right? Well, maybe they are, maybe they aren’t, but because they’re presenting that image,
they often gain more respect than others who don’t show off their lives in the same way.
That is why Machiavelli said that the first step to gaining respect is to shape the image
you present to the world. Here are a few tips from Machiavelli on how to manage your image:
1. Project Confidence: Even when you feel unsure,
act confident. People trust those who appear capable, even if they're facing challenges.
2. Show Virtue: Be seen as fair, honest, and courageous. These
are qualities that make people respect you. 3. Control Your Emotions: In tough situations,
staying calm makes you look wise and strong. People admire those who keep their cool.
4. Be Consistent: Make sure your actions consistently align with the image you
want to project. Consistency builds trust. 5. Build Relationships with Respected People:
Surrounding yourself with respected individuals can improve your own image, and finally
6. Show, Don’t Brag: Let your successes speak for themselves. It’s about appearing accomplished,
not boasting about your achievements By managing how others see you, you can
build a strong, respected image of yourself and the best part is—you’re in control of it.
2. Be decisive In the words of Machiavelli
“All courses of action are risky, so prudence is not in avoiding danger, it’s impossible,
but calculating risk and acting decisively. Make mistakes of ambition and not mistakes of
sloth. Develop the strength to do bold things, not the strength to suffer.”
Decisiveness is all about making decisions quickly and confidently. It’s not just about
making choices—it’s about making the right ones and acting on them. When you’re decisive,
you're not just reacting to life around you; you’re taking control of your future.
Think about it: every decision involves some level of risk. But a decisive person understands that
and still takes action. It’s better to make mistakes while trying to achieve something
big than to make mistakes by not doing anything at all. Not everyone has this skill naturally.
But according to Machiavelli, it’s essential for gaining respect and
being valued in society. Decisiveness is a trait that’s highly prized in leadership.
We’ve all encountered someone who seems uncertain, constantly hesitating on decisions. How does that
make you feel? It can be frustrating, right? Most of us prefer being around people who are
confident and decisive. In fact, studies show that those who demonstrate strength
and decisiveness often rise to the top of social hierarchies. This isn’t by chance—it’s rooted
in our evolution. Historically, those who made quick, effective decisions had a better
chance of survival. Being decisive saves time and shows our ability to act swiftly, a vital trait
for navigating challenges. On the other hand, indecisiveness wastes valuable time—a resource
we can never get back. This principle applies not just to humans but to the animal kingdom as well.
When we make decisions confidently, it’s a clear sign of strength, which is why people
naturally respect those who take charge. Acting decisively tells others that we trust ourselves,
and this confidence earns respect which is why people admire leaders who are certain
in their choices and are more likely to follow someone who embodies that strength.
So, how can we apply this in our own lives? It’s about practicing decisiveness. At work, for
example, you can take the lead when it’s time to make an important decision. Even if you’re unsure,
speak up and share your opinion. Your team will respect you for stepping up. And in
personal relationships, be clear about your choices. You don’t have to have all the answers,
but being direct and confident will help you earn respect. People appreciate when
you know what you want and stand by it. If you're someone who struggles with
making decisions, that’s okay! Start small. Practice making quick, confident choices,
and over time, you’ll see how this shapes the way people see you—more as a leader,
someone others naturally respect. So, as you move forward today, think about how you can apply
this. Whether at work or in your personal life, make those decisions quickly and confidently.
3. Balance between fear and love
Machiavelli believed "It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both."
According to Machiavelli, leaders can maintain power by balancing fear and love.
It’s a delicate balance, but one that he says is crucial for gaining and maintaining respect.
But before we dig any deeper, it’s worth remembering that Machiavelli
lived over 500 years ago, and this is Philosophies For Life today,
so while there absolutely are great lessons to be learned, which we will get into shortly,
they do require some nuance and reframing to make them practically applicable in modern life.
What Machiavelli argued is that while it's ideal for a ruler to be both feared and loved,
achieving both at the same time is really tough. So if a leader must choose, he believes it’s safer
to be feared than loved. Why? Because fear is a more reliable way to keep control. People might
stop loving a leader when things go wrong, but fear of punishment keeps them loyal.
Now, that might sound like Machiavelli believes in ruling with an iron fist,
however, this seems unlikely as Machiavelli also warns that a leader should avoid being hated.
Hate can lead to rebellion and, ultimately, a loss of power. So, it's all about finding that balance,
the balance between kindness and firmness. Let’s take a modern day workplace example.
A good boss shows appreciation for great work. They recognize effort and reward success. That’s
the “love” part—making employees feel valued and appreciated. But here is the key point:
there are times when the boss also needs to be firm. Imagine a boss who’s always
praising employees for hitting their targets and offering support and guidance whenever
they need it. That creates a positive atmosphere and a leader people want to
follow. But if an employee keeps missing deadlines or upsetting their colleagues,
that’s when it affects the business. And that's when the boss has to step in,
set clear, reasonable expectations, and enforce the rules. It’s about fairness and consistency.
By rewarding good behavior while addressing bad behavior, you make sure people know what
to expect from you. You build trust and respect because you’re seen as reliable and fair. But
if your actions are unpredictable or unjust, it can lead to resentment and, ultimately, a loss of
respect - Something every good leader should fear. The same balance applies in your personal
relationships. To build love, show you care, be supportive, and spend quality
time with those you care about. But also, to maintain respect, it’s important to set
clear boundaries. If a friend keeps borrowing things without asking and doesn’t return them,
you have to speak up. Address the issue directly, explain how it bothers you, but do it in a kind,
understanding way. It’s all about standing up for yourself while still being considerate.
And that brings us to a powerful point—saying “no.” If you’re always saying “yes” to others,
people will start to see you as someone who just goes along with whatever they want.
Saying “no” when it counts shows strength and confidence. It can actually make people respect
you more because they know you have your boundaries.If you’re always on autopilot,
constantly agreeing to things, you risk giving away your power. But when you stand up for
yourself and say “no,” you change how people see you. You’re confident and assertive in a way
people respect, or in Machiavellian terms, fear. Saying “no” when you truly believe it’s the right
choice can make people rethink their approach, and in turn, they’ll respect you more. Remember,
you’re the one in charge of you. You control whether you give or own that
power. And once you establish that, people will understand where you stand - And respect it.
So, whether you're leading a team at work or navigating personal relationships, balancing
kindness with firmness helps you maintain control while building positive, strong connections and
it’s this balance that gains respect. So, next time you find yourself in a situation where you
need to show leadership or enforce boundaries, think about how you can strike that balance.
4. Strategically Adapt Yourself To quote Machiavelli "The lion
cannot protect himself from traps, and the fox cannot defend himself from wolves. One
must therefore be a fox to recognize traps, and a lion to frighten wolves.”
Machiavelli believed that a great leader is someone who is ready to change strategies
when needed. Sticking to one approach can lead to failure, especially when circumstances shift.
Think about this—gaining respect isn't just about creating a strong image in people's minds,
it’s about maintaining that image, too. And when unexpected situations pop up,
how we handle them is crucial. If we show fear or get thrown off by surprises, it can
damage the image we've worked hard to build. It’s all about flexibility. You have to be
willing to adapt to the moment. Machiavelli used a metaphor to explain this—he talked about the
lion and the fox. A ruler, he said, needs to be strong like a lion to defend against enemies,
but also clever like a fox to avoid traps. Versatility is the key. Think about a leader
who starts off being tough, like a lion, but then switches gears to diplomacy and alliances,
like a fox, when things change. It's about knowing when to use strength and when to use strategy,
and this applies to us in everyday life, too. If you’re always sticking to the same routine,
people might start seeing you as outdated or disconnected from what's going on around you.
The world is constantly changing, and if we don’t adapt, we risk being left behind.
Let’s take a business leader, for example. In a fast-moving industry, they might start with
a strategy of rapid growth. But if the market shifts or new competitors emerge, sticking to
that plan could be a disaster. Instead, they might need to innovate, cut costs, or form new
partnerships. This kind of adaptability helps the business survive and shows others that the
leader can handle uncertainty. It’s all about handling change with confidence. When you adapt,
you not only protect your reputation, but you also gain respect from those around you—whether
it's employees, investors, or anyone else. People respect leaders who can navigate
through challenges and adjust when needed. So, if you're facing unexpected challenges in your
life, don’t resist them. Embrace them! Remember, the only constant in life is change. By adapting
your strategies to fit the new situation, you’ll not only keep your image intact but also ensure
that others continue to respect you as someone who can handle anything that comes your way.
5. Show Generosity in a Measured Way Machiavelli once wrote “It is wiser
to have a reputation for meanness which brings reproach without hatred,
than to be compelled through seeking a reputation for liberality
to incur a name for rapacity which begets reproach with hatred.”
Now, this may sound confusing at first, but if we translate this into modern English,
all Machivelli is saying is “It’s better to be known for being mean,
which brings criticism without hatred, than to be compelled through seeking a reputation
for openness to suffer a name for greed which brings about criticism with hatred.”
Surely everyone watching this video can think of someone you know who struggles
with being selective when showing generosity. How much respect do they command in your circle?
They might be loved for many reasons, but in terms of respect, it often falls short. Now,
why is that? The answer lies in how generosity is linked to respect. When you're overly generous,
it can reflect poorly on your values and your ability to be discerning. It suggests
that you're willing to reward anyone, which can lower the respect others have for you. People
might think they can get by with doing the bare minimum and still receive rewards. Machiavelli
also warns that excessive generosity, even if well-intentioned, can lead to being exploited
or running out of resources. Instead, he advises being strategic—knowing when and how much to give.
This showing generosity in a measured way can actually increase admiration and loyalty. Let’s
put this into perspective. Imagine a manager who rewards employees thoughtfully. Instead of handing
out praise or bonuses to everyone, they recognize those who have shown exceptional dedication. This
not only motivates the team but also earns the manager respect for their fair leadership. When
your generosity is measured, it shows you act with intention and control, rather than trying
to win favor through grand gestures. People respect leaders who are thoughtful in their
actions because it signals maturity and strength. Excessive generosity, on the other hand, can make
you seem desperate for approval, potentially reducing the respect others have for you.
And there's more to it. Practicing measured generosity helps people appreciate what they
receive rather than expecting it constantly, which can lead to entitlement. So, next time
you feel the urge to be generous, ask yourself a few key questions. Who truly deserves it? Who
has shown genuine loyalty? Identify those who are most deserving and show your appreciation
through thoughtful comments, affirmations of their hard work, or symbolic gifts. Also,
consider who you care about the most. Focus on rewarding these individuals. By asking these
questions, you can practice generosity in a measured way, just as Machiavelli suggests.
This technique will help you choose wisely and maintain the respect of those around you.
6. Have Reliance on your own arms
In our final quote from Machiavelli for this video, he says “He who is
the cause of another becoming powerful is the cause of his own destruction;
for he loses his dominion by showing that he is dependent on the other.”
Machiavelli talks about how important it is for a ruler to rely on their own strength, or
"arms," instead of using hired soldiers or forces borrowed from other rulers. He says that when a
leader has their own trained, loyal army, they are much stronger and more secure. Mercenaries,
on the other hand, aren’t as dependable because they fight for money, not loyalty. They might
not care about the leader’s cause and could even turn against them if the price is right,
while native soldiers, who are invested in the leader’s success, are much more reliable.
Thus having a loyal, native force gives a ruler a more stable and lasting power and relying on
your own forces shows strength and independence, which earns respect from both friends and enemies.
In today's world, we can apply Machiavelli’s idea of "relying on one’s own arms" by being
self-reliant and capable, and by building the right support system around us. Instead of
depending on others to solve our problems, we can develop our own skills. This might involve
improving your education, learning new things, or becoming an expert in
your job or passion. By doing this, you make yourself less dependent on others. Similarly,
just as a leader surrounds themselves with loyal soldiers, we can build a strong support
system of friends, family, or co-workers who are dependable and supportive of our goals.
Another way to achieve this is through financial independence. By managing your money well, saving,
and investing wisely, you don’t have to rely on loans or handouts. This gives
you more freedom to make decisions on your own terms. Taking responsibility for your
actions is also a key part of self-reliance. Instead of blaming others when things go wrong,
you own up to your mistakes and learn from them. It’s about controlling your own fate,
rather than relying on external factors to fix things for you. Just as having a loyal native
force gives a ruler long-term stability, being self-reliant builds long-term respect. People are
more likely to respect someone who consistently shows they are capable and dependable over time,
rather than someone who occasionally shows competence but often relies on others.
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