men are so simple and so much inclined

to obey immediate needs that a deceiver

will never lack victims for his

deceptions Nicolo

Machavelli Have you ever felt like a

porn in somebody else's game like you

were never the main character in your

own story but a supporting role in

theirs maybe it was someone you trusted

a friend a partner and maybe you didn't

even realize it until it was too late

until you were drained used and

discarded The truth is whether we like

to admit it or not most of us have

played this role at some point We've all

been tools used to serve someone else's

ambition ego or

desire And it hurts Not because it

surprises us but because deep down we

hope we meant

more The feeling of being used can leave

a bitter taste A mixture of anger

confusion and a deep lingering sense of

worthlessness Like being a ghost in your

own life present but

invisible And what's worse is that this

isn't even some rare occurrence It's

everywhere At work in friendships even

in love Because not everyone sees people

as people Some people see people as

means Means to an end And in their eyes

you're only useful until you're not

Centuries ago in the heart of the

Renaissance one man pulled back the

curtain on this brutal reality His name

was Nicolo Machaveli a political

philosopher who dared to speak the truth

about human nature He wasn't cynical He

was realistic He didn't believe people

were evil but he did believe most people

act out of

self-interest In his legendary book The

Prince Machaveli doesn't tell us to be

cruel He tells us to open our eyes and

see that the world isn't ruled by

kindness or fairness but by strategy by

power and by

survival He never actually said the ends

justify the means but his philosophy

danced dangerously close to it To

Machaveli if achieving power required

cruelty manipulation or deceit so be it

What mattered was the result And while

his book was intended for monarchs his

ideas seep into modern life more than

we'd like to admit Because in today's

world power doesn't always wear a crown

Sometimes it wears a smile Sometimes it

sits across from you asking for favors

Sometimes it's that friend who only

calls when they need something Machaveli

showed us how to recognize when we're

being used and more importantly how to

stop it Because once you see the game

for what it is you stop being the porn

So in this video we're going to dive

into Machaveli's brutal wisdom Not to

become cold or cynical but to become

aware to protect our energy our

boundaries and our

worth Number one understand that people

are

self-interested Before we can ever stop

being used we need to understand

something fundamental Something

Machaveli didn't sugarcoat People are

self-interested Now he didn't say this

out of cynicism He said it because it

was true then and it's still true today

Most people act based on one principle

their own advantage Not love not loyalty

not fairness just

interest Machaveli believed that beneath

the surface of our social lives our

friendships our workplaces even our

families people are

calculating This is the first step to

never being used again You must stop

expecting people to always have good

intentions Not everybody wishes you harm

but most people will prioritize

themselves when given the choice Now

that doesn't mean we should be paranoid

It means we should be

aware But here's the nuance even Maveli

wouldn't deny Not everyone is

manipulative There are a rare few

friends lovers mentors who act with true

care But even then Machaveli would warn

"Do not judge their loyalty by their

words but by what they sacrifice for you

when it costs them something." Because

here's the twist Most people hide this

self-interest They wear masks They

project warmth generosity and concern

But Machaveli reminds us that this is

often

performance So how do you protect

yourself

you pay

attention If someone is being overly

kind ask yourself why now what do they

gain from this is this generosity or

strategy machaveli would argue if their

kindness serves a purpose it's not

kindness it's

currency And once you start thinking

this way not bitterly but clearly you

begin to set boundaries

You no longer give your time your trust

or your energy away freely and you stop

explaining yourself to

everyone Number two set and enforce your

boundaries Why do people take advantage

of us often it's not because they're

evil It's because we never said no We

left the door open and they walked right

through Machaveli observed that most

people don't protect their time their

energy nor their emotional space They

allow others to pull them in every

direction doing favors solving problems

absorbing complaints They say yes when

they want to say no And so they're used

not once but over and over again But

here's the thing people only take what

you let them take If someone is

constantly asking for help leaning on

you for support or even playing the

victim to get your sympathy it's because

they've learned you'll say yes You've

trained them to expect it And over time

they gain power over your schedule your

emotions your peace of mind While you on

the other hand become powerless just

following their requests meeting their

needs while yours are forgotten This is

why boundaries aren't just helpful

they're

essential Think of them like a soldier's

shield in battle No soldier goes to war

without one The shield blocks the arrows

It protects It defines the line between

me and not me In the same way your

boundaries block the constant demands

the manipulation the guilt tripping They

create space between you and those who

would drain your energy Not because you

hate them but because you finally value

yourself This Machaveli would say is the

first real act of strength To stop

waiting for others to respect you and to

start enforcing that respect yourself

Because here's the hard truth People

don't act from goodwill They act from

self-interest And if using you helps

them get ahead they will But the moment

you set a boundary you interrupt that

pattern you take back control and you

tell the world "You don't get to decide

my limits I do." And it can start small

The next time someone asks for a favor

ask yourself Do I truly want to do this

is this fair or is this another ask in a

long long line of taking and if the

answer is no say no Even if your voice

trembles even if they get upset say it

with calm say it with clarity and say it

without guilt You don't owe anyone your

time your energy or your peace

Especially if it comes at the cost of

your own well-being Because the moment

you start saying no you're not just

setting a boundary You're sending a

message a message that you'll no longer

be used that you're not a tool a

resource or a safety net You are a

person with limits with value with power

And in reclaiming that power you take

the first step back to

yourself Number three control the image

that others have of you Machaveli

teaches us that perception shapes

reality The way people treat you the

respect they give the boundaries they

cross the value they place on your time

all stem from one thing The image you've

allowed them to form of you If you

appear soft naive or overly trusting

people won't hesitate They'll use you

Not necessarily because they're bad but

because you've shown them it's possible

And in a world driven by self-interest

that's all it takes This is why Mcaveli

famously said "It's better to be feared

than loved if you cannot be both." Now

he wasn't telling us to become tyrants

He was revealing a hard truth Power

comes from perception and perception

comes from how you carry yourself If

you're always available always forgiving

always the one bending over backward to

please people will start to see you as a

tool not a person they'll smile they'll

thank you but deep down they'll assume

you're easy to

control But if you walk with calm

confidence if you speak with intention

if you maintain a sense of self-respect

and dare I say it mystery people take

notice

They step more carefully not because

they fear your cruelty but because they

respect your strength And this strength

doesn't scream It doesn't need to It

shows itself in its restraint Machaveli

said "Control your image by controlling

your reactions The more emotionally

reactive you are the easier you are to

read and to manipulate Just ask any

poker player People who lose their cool

who overshare who make their pain

visible to the world they hand others

the playbook on how to use them So pause

before you

respond Breathe before you speak Hold

back when you feel the urge to spill

everything You don't owe anyone access

to your inner world And the more they

don't know the less power they have

Mystery creates

leverage Before sharing a personal

detail ask yourself does this strengthen

my position or weaken it if you're

unsure say nothing Let silence be your

strategy Machaveli believed that those

who are hard to predict become hard to

control If people can't anticipate your

next move they can't prepare their

advantage That uncertainty is power It

keeps them cautious It keeps you in

control So don't just protect your time

Protect your presence Don't just build

boundaries Build mystique And never

forget in a world where everyone is

trying to get something the person who

controls their image controls the game

Number four practice generosity in a

measured

way Generosity is a beautiful thing when

done right It can show appreciation

build trust open hearts But as Machaveli

warns us too much generosity can become

your

downfall Why because people don't just

receive generosity they get used to it

And the moment something becomes

expected it stops being a gift and

becomes a demand Machaveli saw this

clearly He wrote that while generosity

can win favor it must be used wisely not

out of guilt not out of impulse and

definitely not out of habit Because when

you're always the one paying always the

one helping always the one giving

without pause you're not seen as kind

you're seen as a provider a resource a

means to an end And soon instead of

being grateful for your kindness they

start to treat it as an expected level

of service And when you finally say no

they won't thank you for all the times

you did say yes Instead they'll feel

offended betrayed as if you've taken

something from them That's the danger

This is why Machaveli believed that

generosity should be strategic not

manipulative not selfish but measured

You give when it matters You give with

intention You give on your terms not

theirs Because if you're too quick to

give people won't see it as a reflection

of your character They'll see it as a

weakness they can exploit Instead give

in a way that maintains your

power Be generous but remain

unpredictable Be kind but stay

discerning Give but don't bleed yourself

dry Think of it like this If a king gave

away gold every time someone asked soon

there'd be no kingdom left But if he

gave gold during moments of strategy

during alliances negotiations times when

it truly meant something then his

generosity would carry weight It would

mean something So the next time you're

about to offer something your time your

money your energy ask yourself does this

serve a purpose am I giving to build

strength or am I giving because I don't

know how to say no will this be

remembered or will it be expected again

and again if the answer doesn't serve

your long-term well-being hold back

Because real generosity doesn't come

from giving everything it comes from

giving the right thing at the right

moment to the right person And when you

do that your generosity becomes rare

valued

respected

powerful Number five appear virtuous but

be

strategic Among all of Machaveli's

teachings one rule stands out

Misunderstood by many yet powerful in

its simplicity He wrote "It's better to

appear virtuous than to actually be

virtuous."

At first it sounds like a betrayal of

everything we're taught like he's

encouraging us to be fake or

manipulative But that's not what Mcaveli

meant He wasn't dismissing the

importance of goodness He was exposing a

harsh truth In a world where people are

always watching judging and competing

your virtue can be turned against you

Not because kindness is wrong but

because kindness without caution becomes

predictable And in the real world

predictable people get played

Machaveli's lesson wasn't to abandon

virtue but to protect it He was telling

us to wear our goodness like a shield

not to expose it completely

Let others see your generosity your

fairness and your integrity but never

give them full access to your intentions

When people know you'll always say yes

always help always forgive they stop

seeing that as strength and instead

start seeing it as weakness And that's

when you get used Take this typical

workplace example You want to succeed so

you go the extra mile You share your

ideas You support everyone hoping for

that pay rise or promotion you've proven

you so deserve But instead your manager

seeing you're able to handle your

workload effectively just gives you more

work to do and more

responsibilities but no more money or

better job title just greater

expectations for the same reward and

you're left wondering what you did wrong

The truth is you were too open too eager

to please too easy to read That's why

Machaveli would say "Be virtuous but not

naive Be kind but not predictable Show

your character but never reveal your

entire strategy." Learn the art of

restraint Before you speak ask yourself

does this person need to know this or am

I just giving too much away because true

strength isn't loud it's measured

Maveli's lesson here is about being wise

guarded aware In a world full of

opportunities loud goodness is often the

first to be taken for granted So yes

wear the mask of virtue but always think

like a strategist That's how you stay

respected That's how you stay

protected Number six keep your powers

hidden If Machaveli warned us not to be

too openly good he also warned us not to

reveal all our strengths or plans In the

prince he writes "A prudent man should

always follow in the footsteps of great

men and imitate those who have been

supreme." While it sounds like a call to

imitate the greats Machaveli is pointing

towards something far more strategic

He's telling us to study the great minds

of history not just for inspiration but

for insight into how they kept their

power And one of the things they rarely

did reveal their full

hand Mcaveli understood a timeless truth

Mystery is power The more people know

about you your goals your next moves

your emotional triggers the easier it is

to manipulate you But when they're

unsure of your capabilities or your

intentions they tread carefully You

create an advantage simply by being

unpredictable

This is why Machaveli warns against

always announcing your ambitions or

showing the full extent of your

abilities In fact the most powerful

people are often underestimated And that

works in their favor If no one sees you

coming they can't stop you If no one

knows your weaknesses they can't exploit

them Discretion becomes a shield and

silence a weapon Whether it's in your

career or your relationships be

selective about what you share and with

whom Not everyone deserves access to

your inner world Machaveli again reminds

us here most people are driven by

self-interest So before you trust anyone

with your goals or

vulnerabilities ask yourself what do

they want in return what's the reason

behind their support or their curiosity

sometimes people offer kindness just to

get close enough to extract something

from you information favors influence

That's why it's crucial to keep a part

of yourself guarded You don't need to be

cold or distant but you should always

maintain a layer of strategic reserve So

keep your plans close Let your actions

speak louder than your words Move

quietly but deliberately

When you hold some of your strength in

reserve people won't know what to expect

from you and that

unpredictability keeps you powerful In

the end Machaveli's advice is simple but

profound Never be completely readable

Power lies in being respected not fully

understood And the less people know

about how you think feel or plan the

harder it is for them to play games with

your life

Number seven command respect not

likability Machaveli wasn't interested

in winning a popularity contest He was

interested in winning

Period And here's what he saw The

desperate need to be liked makes people

weak They say yes to everything avoid

conflict and become so agreeable that

they lose their edge Machaveli warns us

that this is the fastest way to be used

ignored and forgotten because while

being liked is nice being respected is

essential This ties directly to his

famous principle we discussed earlier

It's better to be feared than loved if

you cannot be both But let's be clear he

wasn't telling us to become cruel or

heartless tyrants He wasn't preaching

evil What he was teaching is something

most people never learn That love is

fickle but respect

lasts You don't gain respect by trying

to please everyone You gain it by

standing your ground Think about it The

people you truly admire are they the

ones who always say yes are they the

ones who give in stay silent or twist

their values just to fit in of course

not You respect them because they have a

backbone because they have boundaries

and because they know when to say no

That's what Machaveli was getting at If

you chase approval people will step over

you But if you command respect they'll

think twice before crossing you So how

do you earn that kind of respect by

being firm consistent and

grounded When people see that your

values don't shift with the wind When

they realize you aren't easily swayed by

guilt or flattery that's when they start

to take you seriously That's when you

become someone they don't just like but

respect We've all been there trying to

fit in to be liked to keep the peace

even when it costs us our dignity But

there comes a point where you have to

stop bending and return to yourself to

your principles to the line you refuse

to cross Because when you respect

yourself others will follow When you

stand tall others adjust their posture

And when you show that your kindness has

limits people pay

attention Machaveli's message isn't

about ruling with fear or harshness It's

about carrying yourself with

authority So yes be kind Be fair Be

generous but never at the cost of your

self-respect Let people know that you're

willing to help but not to be used That

you'll listen but not be

manipulated That you're good but not a

pushover Because in the end it's not the

like to lead it's the respected And as

Machaveli would say that's the

difference between being admired and

being

remembered Number eight stay

independent In the prince Mchaveli gives

a striking warning He who builds on the

people builds on the mud In other words

if your strength relies on someone else

whether that's emotionally financially

or socially you're standing on shaky

ground The moment your foundation is

outside of yourself you're exposed You

become vulnerable Machaveli's solution

build yourself in a way that you don't

have to lean on anyone That's where real

power comes from self-sufficiency

And in today's world this idea is more

relevant than ever It's not just about

financial independence though that's

important too It's also about emotional

and social

independence These are the foundations

you need to work on first Because if you

constantly rely on others for validation

comfort or a sense of belonging you give

away your control But if you develop

your own sense of confidence your own

support systems and your own internal

strength no one can take that away from

you That's why Mcaveli believed you must

focus on building

yourself That means developing your

skills learning useful knowledge and

cultivating emotional strength The less

you need from others the less control

they can exert over you And no this

doesn't mean you shut everyone out or

become a lone wolf It just means that

you're in charge of your own well-being

You make the rules You call the

shots This principle can be applied to

almost every part of your life In your

career if you're stuck in a job that you

hate but can't leave because you depend

on that paycheck you're giving away your

power In relationships if you rely on

someone else to feel whole or

emotionally balanced they now hold the

key to your happiness Machaveli's

insight here is simple but profound True

power is the ability to walk away when

needed And you can only do that when

you're not dependent on anyone else to

survive or to feel whole So if

independence is something you're

currently struggling with it might be

time to take a step back and

reflect Where do you feel the most

dependent start your transformation

there If you feel like you lack real

world skills that can help you earn on

your own consider investing your time in

learning Take a course pick up a trade

or develop a monetizable talent But be

patient Mastery doesn't come overnight

but with time and

consistency And from there financial

freedom will follow If it's emotional

dependence that holds you back on your

partner your family or your social

circle try to uncover the root cause Ask

yourself where does this need come from

why do I feel incomplete without them

don't see it as a weakness See it as a

challenge an opportunity to grow Because

once you develop your emotional core

once you become grounded in yourself you

become

untouchable In the end independence

isn't just about freedom It's about

protection Because when you're

independent people can't use you They

can't manipulate or control you You

become solid like a fortress built on

stone That's what Machaveli meant True

strength comes from within And the more

self-reliant you are the more powerful

respected and unshakable you'll

become If you enjoyed this video please

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