men are so simple and so much inclined
to obey immediate needs that a deceiver
will never lack victims for his
deceptions Nicolo
Machavelli Have you ever felt like a
porn in somebody else's game like you
were never the main character in your
own story but a supporting role in
theirs maybe it was someone you trusted
a friend a partner and maybe you didn't
even realize it until it was too late
until you were drained used and
discarded The truth is whether we like
to admit it or not most of us have
played this role at some point We've all
been tools used to serve someone else's
ambition ego or
desire And it hurts Not because it
surprises us but because deep down we
hope we meant
more The feeling of being used can leave
a bitter taste A mixture of anger
confusion and a deep lingering sense of
worthlessness Like being a ghost in your
own life present but
invisible And what's worse is that this
isn't even some rare occurrence It's
everywhere At work in friendships even
in love Because not everyone sees people
as people Some people see people as
means Means to an end And in their eyes
you're only useful until you're not
Centuries ago in the heart of the
Renaissance one man pulled back the
curtain on this brutal reality His name
was Nicolo Machaveli a political
philosopher who dared to speak the truth
about human nature He wasn't cynical He
was realistic He didn't believe people
were evil but he did believe most people
act out of
self-interest In his legendary book The
Prince Machaveli doesn't tell us to be
cruel He tells us to open our eyes and
see that the world isn't ruled by
kindness or fairness but by strategy by
power and by
survival He never actually said the ends
justify the means but his philosophy
danced dangerously close to it To
Machaveli if achieving power required
cruelty manipulation or deceit so be it
What mattered was the result And while
his book was intended for monarchs his
ideas seep into modern life more than
we'd like to admit Because in today's
world power doesn't always wear a crown
Sometimes it wears a smile Sometimes it
sits across from you asking for favors
Sometimes it's that friend who only
calls when they need something Machaveli
showed us how to recognize when we're
being used and more importantly how to
stop it Because once you see the game
for what it is you stop being the porn
So in this video we're going to dive
into Machaveli's brutal wisdom Not to
become cold or cynical but to become
aware to protect our energy our
boundaries and our
worth Number one understand that people
are
self-interested Before we can ever stop
being used we need to understand
something fundamental Something
Machaveli didn't sugarcoat People are
self-interested Now he didn't say this
out of cynicism He said it because it
was true then and it's still true today
Most people act based on one principle
their own advantage Not love not loyalty
not fairness just
interest Machaveli believed that beneath
the surface of our social lives our
friendships our workplaces even our
families people are
calculating This is the first step to
never being used again You must stop
expecting people to always have good
intentions Not everybody wishes you harm
but most people will prioritize
themselves when given the choice Now
that doesn't mean we should be paranoid
It means we should be
aware But here's the nuance even Maveli
wouldn't deny Not everyone is
manipulative There are a rare few
friends lovers mentors who act with true
care But even then Machaveli would warn
"Do not judge their loyalty by their
words but by what they sacrifice for you
when it costs them something." Because
here's the twist Most people hide this
self-interest They wear masks They
project warmth generosity and concern
But Machaveli reminds us that this is
often
performance So how do you protect
yourself
you pay
attention If someone is being overly
kind ask yourself why now what do they
gain from this is this generosity or
strategy machaveli would argue if their
kindness serves a purpose it's not
kindness it's
currency And once you start thinking
this way not bitterly but clearly you
begin to set boundaries
You no longer give your time your trust
or your energy away freely and you stop
explaining yourself to
everyone Number two set and enforce your
boundaries Why do people take advantage
of us often it's not because they're
evil It's because we never said no We
left the door open and they walked right
through Machaveli observed that most
people don't protect their time their
energy nor their emotional space They
allow others to pull them in every
direction doing favors solving problems
absorbing complaints They say yes when
they want to say no And so they're used
not once but over and over again But
here's the thing people only take what
you let them take If someone is
constantly asking for help leaning on
you for support or even playing the
victim to get your sympathy it's because
they've learned you'll say yes You've
trained them to expect it And over time
they gain power over your schedule your
emotions your peace of mind While you on
the other hand become powerless just
following their requests meeting their
needs while yours are forgotten This is
why boundaries aren't just helpful
they're
essential Think of them like a soldier's
shield in battle No soldier goes to war
without one The shield blocks the arrows
It protects It defines the line between
me and not me In the same way your
boundaries block the constant demands
the manipulation the guilt tripping They
create space between you and those who
would drain your energy Not because you
hate them but because you finally value
yourself This Machaveli would say is the
first real act of strength To stop
waiting for others to respect you and to
start enforcing that respect yourself
Because here's the hard truth People
don't act from goodwill They act from
self-interest And if using you helps
them get ahead they will But the moment
you set a boundary you interrupt that
pattern you take back control and you
tell the world "You don't get to decide
my limits I do." And it can start small
The next time someone asks for a favor
ask yourself Do I truly want to do this
is this fair or is this another ask in a
long long line of taking and if the
answer is no say no Even if your voice
trembles even if they get upset say it
with calm say it with clarity and say it
without guilt You don't owe anyone your
time your energy or your peace
Especially if it comes at the cost of
your own well-being Because the moment
you start saying no you're not just
setting a boundary You're sending a
message a message that you'll no longer
be used that you're not a tool a
resource or a safety net You are a
person with limits with value with power
And in reclaiming that power you take
the first step back to
yourself Number three control the image
that others have of you Machaveli
teaches us that perception shapes
reality The way people treat you the
respect they give the boundaries they
cross the value they place on your time
all stem from one thing The image you've
allowed them to form of you If you
appear soft naive or overly trusting
people won't hesitate They'll use you
Not necessarily because they're bad but
because you've shown them it's possible
And in a world driven by self-interest
that's all it takes This is why Mcaveli
famously said "It's better to be feared
than loved if you cannot be both." Now
he wasn't telling us to become tyrants
He was revealing a hard truth Power
comes from perception and perception
comes from how you carry yourself If
you're always available always forgiving
always the one bending over backward to
please people will start to see you as a
tool not a person they'll smile they'll
thank you but deep down they'll assume
you're easy to
control But if you walk with calm
confidence if you speak with intention
if you maintain a sense of self-respect
and dare I say it mystery people take
notice
They step more carefully not because
they fear your cruelty but because they
respect your strength And this strength
doesn't scream It doesn't need to It
shows itself in its restraint Machaveli
said "Control your image by controlling
your reactions The more emotionally
reactive you are the easier you are to
read and to manipulate Just ask any
poker player People who lose their cool
who overshare who make their pain
visible to the world they hand others
the playbook on how to use them So pause
before you
respond Breathe before you speak Hold
back when you feel the urge to spill
everything You don't owe anyone access
to your inner world And the more they
don't know the less power they have
Mystery creates
leverage Before sharing a personal
detail ask yourself does this strengthen
my position or weaken it if you're
unsure say nothing Let silence be your
strategy Machaveli believed that those
who are hard to predict become hard to
control If people can't anticipate your
next move they can't prepare their
advantage That uncertainty is power It
keeps them cautious It keeps you in
control So don't just protect your time
Protect your presence Don't just build
boundaries Build mystique And never
forget in a world where everyone is
trying to get something the person who
controls their image controls the game
Number four practice generosity in a
measured
way Generosity is a beautiful thing when
done right It can show appreciation
build trust open hearts But as Machaveli
warns us too much generosity can become
your
downfall Why because people don't just
receive generosity they get used to it
And the moment something becomes
expected it stops being a gift and
becomes a demand Machaveli saw this
clearly He wrote that while generosity
can win favor it must be used wisely not
out of guilt not out of impulse and
definitely not out of habit Because when
you're always the one paying always the
one helping always the one giving
without pause you're not seen as kind
you're seen as a provider a resource a
means to an end And soon instead of
being grateful for your kindness they
start to treat it as an expected level
of service And when you finally say no
they won't thank you for all the times
you did say yes Instead they'll feel
offended betrayed as if you've taken
something from them That's the danger
This is why Machaveli believed that
generosity should be strategic not
manipulative not selfish but measured
You give when it matters You give with
intention You give on your terms not
theirs Because if you're too quick to
give people won't see it as a reflection
of your character They'll see it as a
weakness they can exploit Instead give
in a way that maintains your
power Be generous but remain
unpredictable Be kind but stay
discerning Give but don't bleed yourself
dry Think of it like this If a king gave
away gold every time someone asked soon
there'd be no kingdom left But if he
gave gold during moments of strategy
during alliances negotiations times when
it truly meant something then his
generosity would carry weight It would
mean something So the next time you're
about to offer something your time your
money your energy ask yourself does this
serve a purpose am I giving to build
strength or am I giving because I don't
know how to say no will this be
remembered or will it be expected again
and again if the answer doesn't serve
your long-term well-being hold back
Because real generosity doesn't come
from giving everything it comes from
giving the right thing at the right
moment to the right person And when you
do that your generosity becomes rare
valued
respected
powerful Number five appear virtuous but
be
strategic Among all of Machaveli's
teachings one rule stands out
Misunderstood by many yet powerful in
its simplicity He wrote "It's better to
appear virtuous than to actually be
virtuous."
At first it sounds like a betrayal of
everything we're taught like he's
encouraging us to be fake or
manipulative But that's not what Mcaveli
meant He wasn't dismissing the
importance of goodness He was exposing a
harsh truth In a world where people are
always watching judging and competing
your virtue can be turned against you
Not because kindness is wrong but
because kindness without caution becomes
predictable And in the real world
predictable people get played
Machaveli's lesson wasn't to abandon
virtue but to protect it He was telling
us to wear our goodness like a shield
not to expose it completely
Let others see your generosity your
fairness and your integrity but never
give them full access to your intentions
When people know you'll always say yes
always help always forgive they stop
seeing that as strength and instead
start seeing it as weakness And that's
when you get used Take this typical
workplace example You want to succeed so
you go the extra mile You share your
ideas You support everyone hoping for
that pay rise or promotion you've proven
you so deserve But instead your manager
seeing you're able to handle your
workload effectively just gives you more
work to do and more
responsibilities but no more money or
better job title just greater
expectations for the same reward and
you're left wondering what you did wrong
The truth is you were too open too eager
to please too easy to read That's why
Machaveli would say "Be virtuous but not
naive Be kind but not predictable Show
your character but never reveal your
entire strategy." Learn the art of
restraint Before you speak ask yourself
does this person need to know this or am
I just giving too much away because true
strength isn't loud it's measured
Maveli's lesson here is about being wise
guarded aware In a world full of
opportunities loud goodness is often the
first to be taken for granted So yes
wear the mask of virtue but always think
like a strategist That's how you stay
respected That's how you stay
protected Number six keep your powers
hidden If Machaveli warned us not to be
too openly good he also warned us not to
reveal all our strengths or plans In the
prince he writes "A prudent man should
always follow in the footsteps of great
men and imitate those who have been
supreme." While it sounds like a call to
imitate the greats Machaveli is pointing
towards something far more strategic
He's telling us to study the great minds
of history not just for inspiration but
for insight into how they kept their
power And one of the things they rarely
did reveal their full
hand Mcaveli understood a timeless truth
Mystery is power The more people know
about you your goals your next moves
your emotional triggers the easier it is
to manipulate you But when they're
unsure of your capabilities or your
intentions they tread carefully You
create an advantage simply by being
unpredictable
This is why Machaveli warns against
always announcing your ambitions or
showing the full extent of your
abilities In fact the most powerful
people are often underestimated And that
works in their favor If no one sees you
coming they can't stop you If no one
knows your weaknesses they can't exploit
them Discretion becomes a shield and
silence a weapon Whether it's in your
career or your relationships be
selective about what you share and with
whom Not everyone deserves access to
your inner world Machaveli again reminds
us here most people are driven by
self-interest So before you trust anyone
with your goals or
vulnerabilities ask yourself what do
they want in return what's the reason
behind their support or their curiosity
sometimes people offer kindness just to
get close enough to extract something
from you information favors influence
That's why it's crucial to keep a part
of yourself guarded You don't need to be
cold or distant but you should always
maintain a layer of strategic reserve So
keep your plans close Let your actions
speak louder than your words Move
quietly but deliberately
When you hold some of your strength in
reserve people won't know what to expect
from you and that
unpredictability keeps you powerful In
the end Machaveli's advice is simple but
profound Never be completely readable
Power lies in being respected not fully
understood And the less people know
about how you think feel or plan the
harder it is for them to play games with
your life
Number seven command respect not
likability Machaveli wasn't interested
in winning a popularity contest He was
interested in winning
Period And here's what he saw The
desperate need to be liked makes people
weak They say yes to everything avoid
conflict and become so agreeable that
they lose their edge Machaveli warns us
that this is the fastest way to be used
ignored and forgotten because while
being liked is nice being respected is
essential This ties directly to his
famous principle we discussed earlier
It's better to be feared than loved if
you cannot be both But let's be clear he
wasn't telling us to become cruel or
heartless tyrants He wasn't preaching
evil What he was teaching is something
most people never learn That love is
fickle but respect
lasts You don't gain respect by trying
to please everyone You gain it by
standing your ground Think about it The
people you truly admire are they the
ones who always say yes are they the
ones who give in stay silent or twist
their values just to fit in of course
not You respect them because they have a
backbone because they have boundaries
and because they know when to say no
That's what Machaveli was getting at If
you chase approval people will step over
you But if you command respect they'll
think twice before crossing you So how
do you earn that kind of respect by
being firm consistent and
grounded When people see that your
values don't shift with the wind When
they realize you aren't easily swayed by
guilt or flattery that's when they start
to take you seriously That's when you
become someone they don't just like but
respect We've all been there trying to
fit in to be liked to keep the peace
even when it costs us our dignity But
there comes a point where you have to
stop bending and return to yourself to
your principles to the line you refuse
to cross Because when you respect
yourself others will follow When you
stand tall others adjust their posture
And when you show that your kindness has
limits people pay
attention Machaveli's message isn't
about ruling with fear or harshness It's
about carrying yourself with
authority So yes be kind Be fair Be
generous but never at the cost of your
self-respect Let people know that you're
willing to help but not to be used That
you'll listen but not be
manipulated That you're good but not a
pushover Because in the end it's not the
like to lead it's the respected And as
Machaveli would say that's the
difference between being admired and
being
remembered Number eight stay
independent In the prince Mchaveli gives
a striking warning He who builds on the
people builds on the mud In other words
if your strength relies on someone else
whether that's emotionally financially
or socially you're standing on shaky
ground The moment your foundation is
outside of yourself you're exposed You
become vulnerable Machaveli's solution
build yourself in a way that you don't
have to lean on anyone That's where real
power comes from self-sufficiency
And in today's world this idea is more
relevant than ever It's not just about
financial independence though that's
important too It's also about emotional
and social
independence These are the foundations
you need to work on first Because if you
constantly rely on others for validation
comfort or a sense of belonging you give
away your control But if you develop
your own sense of confidence your own
support systems and your own internal
strength no one can take that away from
you That's why Mcaveli believed you must
focus on building
yourself That means developing your
skills learning useful knowledge and
cultivating emotional strength The less
you need from others the less control
they can exert over you And no this
doesn't mean you shut everyone out or
become a lone wolf It just means that
you're in charge of your own well-being
You make the rules You call the
shots This principle can be applied to
almost every part of your life In your
career if you're stuck in a job that you
hate but can't leave because you depend
on that paycheck you're giving away your
power In relationships if you rely on
someone else to feel whole or
emotionally balanced they now hold the
key to your happiness Machaveli's
insight here is simple but profound True
power is the ability to walk away when
needed And you can only do that when
you're not dependent on anyone else to
survive or to feel whole So if
independence is something you're
currently struggling with it might be
time to take a step back and
reflect Where do you feel the most
dependent start your transformation
there If you feel like you lack real
world skills that can help you earn on
your own consider investing your time in
learning Take a course pick up a trade
or develop a monetizable talent But be
patient Mastery doesn't come overnight
but with time and
consistency And from there financial
freedom will follow If it's emotional
dependence that holds you back on your
partner your family or your social
circle try to uncover the root cause Ask
yourself where does this need come from
why do I feel incomplete without them
don't see it as a weakness See it as a
challenge an opportunity to grow Because
once you develop your emotional core
once you become grounded in yourself you
become
untouchable In the end independence
isn't just about freedom It's about
protection Because when you're
independent people can't use you They
can't manipulate or control you You
become solid like a fortress built on
stone That's what Machaveli meant True
strength comes from within And the more
self-reliant you are the more powerful
respected and unshakable you'll
become If you enjoyed this video please
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