tallgirl: welcome back to sense, sensibility and chaos. The podcast that believes I'm not coming is sometimes the most romantic thing. You can say.

Busy: I'm busy. I once, RSVP'd. Yes, to a wedding, just to cancel the day before with an elaborate food poisoning backstory. I regret nothing except the part where I actually got food poisoning later, because Karma.

WellRead: I am well read. I used to make excuses now. I just say my spirit is not aligned. If you think that's unhinged, you're not wrong, but neither am I.

tallgirl: And I'm tall, girl, if I ever told you, maybe next time I meant never.

tallgirl: But with kindness. Today we're tackling the ultimate adulting challenge. How do you say? No, without spiraling into guilt, shame, or fake calendar entries.

Busy: Oh, I'm I love this one. It is something I've been working with.

WellRead: Whole life you've been working on this.

WellRead: Whole life you've been working on this.

Busy: What?

WellRead: Your whole life you've been working on this, tearing down.

Busy: Better than you think, because there are some people who never do it.

WellRead: and I pity them.

tallgirl: So one time, when I was trying to understand the sports things, I had downloaded the Yankees

tallgirl: team schedule to my calendar and I had a color coded blue, and everything else was in pink.

tallgirl: and somebody was like, Oh, let's find a date. And what they were seeing in my calendar was the Yankees baseball schedule, and they're like, Oh, my God, you're so busy! Maybe we should like maybe we should plan this for, like you know, like in the fall or something, and I was like note to self. Maybe I should just continuously download sports schedules to my calendar. So it looks.

WellRead: I mean.

tallgirl: And it is.

WellRead: So people don't try and interlope on your free time. I'm down with that idea.

Busy: So why do we think.

Busy: do we think it's become a generational thing like where our parents and older generations? Okay, say, no. Are we trying not to offend too much? We feel like we're attacking people or like.

Busy: what? What do we think our hangup is with saying, No.

WellRead: I think that it has to do with being direct.

WellRead: I think at least part of it has to do with being direct, like we're not taught to be direct.

WellRead: at least

WellRead: people who are female, socialized. We're not taught to be direct about a yes or a no. We're we're taught to consider everybody's feelings.

WellRead: and you know, make sure that everybody is

WellRead: in the right place, and then maybe you can say no. But you have to say it kindly, and you have to say it with, you know. Great thought

WellRead: before yes or no.

Busy: There are also people who are not taught to handle a no. So even when you say like.

WellRead: Maybe that's fine.

tallgirl: Like, even if you do it with as much grace and tact as possible, even if you do have 22 children, and absolutely cannot make it

tallgirl: when you are bold-faced, honest to people it's still like, oh, so like you don't want to have the best time of your life at my like Mlm, you know, it's gonna cost you $300 to attend a party.

Busy: I think sometimes also, it depends on

Busy: why you're saying no. So sometimes

Busy: I think for me, like I went through my early.

Busy: You know post college years, and I just felt like

Busy: I had to be there for everyone and everything.

Busy: So I was always running around

Busy: going from like I I literally had. One time. I think it was 17 months

Busy: of being in a wedding party straight 1718 months, because literally the weekend the one wedding happened. I started planning for the next one. So

Busy: I think that having like.

Busy: sometimes you feel like you have to be there for everyone in your life. And that's another topic, or you have a fear of missing out. So sometimes you don't say no, not because you don't want to, because you are trying to be everything to everyone or being everything.

tallgirl: Oh, it was real obligation is real, but also I think you need the burnout of your twenties.

tallgirl: because when you burn out in your twenties, it becomes easier to say no like

tallgirl: things you would say yes to at 21 at 25. You're like, Do I want to? Yeah, I still have to go and like by 27, you're like, you know what I'm gonna schedule the 3rd September and October as like that's mine like that's that's my weekend. That's a me we used to have like for us. We would just plan, like girl Saturdays, where we basically just sit around, sleep over like, eat food, read books

tallgirl: like we would intentionally schedule something amongst ourselves in order to be able to be like, I have plans. I have plans that just don't involve anybody but you 2 who will bring me no stress.

Busy: And we also schedule, so that not only that we are.

Busy: have time together, but we have it in a constructive downtime way.

Busy: And it's it allows us to

Busy: know that we're gonna be okay with other people who will

Busy: encourage us to slow down, to not have to talk to, not have to be on our. We could not wear our masks that we wear for everyone else.

Busy: Be us.

Busy: So

Busy: how? And I think it also depends on the environment. So I think sometimes family obligations, friends, obligations, work, obligations.

Busy: It all depends on where you are and what you're trying to do.

Busy: But I think a turning point for me.

Busy: and I know you 2 tease me about this. There are times when really I am not sure if I'm going to make something. So I will say, maybe because I'm not sure how things may play out, but I try to be more intentional now, because I know that people

WellRead: Oh, yes, I mean 61% of people admit

WellRead: to accepting social invitations just to avoid hurting somebody's feelings.

WellRead: So they have no intention of actually going to a thing.

WellRead: But this is why half your friends flake out, because.

tallgirl: Infinitely worse, because then somebody is sitting there like the day before, whatever. And it's just like, Oh, you know my cat, my dentist, my dog, my car, my! Whatever like.

tallgirl: I will admit I get invitations. I know I'm not gonna say yes to it, but I won't hit automatically. Decline within like the 5 min of seeing the invitation come through like, I'll circle back a day or 2 later, because, you know.

tallgirl: just to be nice, just to make it seem like I wasn't like oh, hell, no!

tallgirl: But I think it's infinitely kinder to say no upfront than to like, you know somebody who's waiting and planning on this kind of like.

tallgirl: somebody really wants to go to that restaurant. Everybody said yes, and then, like in the week and the day leading up to by the time it comes down to like dinner time.

tallgirl: You are sitting in the restaurant alone by yourself, and I'm like, why.

tallgirl: I've seen that happen with a couple of friends when they've planned stuff like that, and I always feel so bad.

Busy: I think also that one of the things I've someone in my life. And when I met

Busy: something happened, and I said to them, well, why didn't you just say no.

Busy: And it was such a far- They were just someone who always took care of everything in their friend group in their family.

Busy: I'm like, Yeah, I I get that. And there is absolutely value and a and a purpose for doing that.

Busy: But you are not meeting your own needs all the time like, if you need to

Busy: sleep, or you need to do chores at your house, or you need to. You know whatever they are. You're not meeting your own needs. And so how are you expecting yourself to be there for someone else?

Busy: And so now I've gotten them to saying no more.

Busy: We have to work on

Busy: that. Not everything needs an elaborate story. You could just say, Oh, I'm unable to do this, but thank you for the invite

Busy: or if you.

WellRead: Want to try like advanced-level boundary setting?

WellRead: I'm protecting my peace this week.

Busy: Yeah, I don't do that. I'm just no, that's

Busy: just say I need. I plan my time to be off, but

Busy: I can't do this when's the next time?

Busy: But I also think I I think there's also something generational, because when I tell.

Busy: like my parents or that generation no, or I can't

Busy: sometimes, especially if people are used to you, always saying yes, and bending over backwards for them, or always being at everything

Busy: the minute you don't show up to the family barbecue.

Busy: you know your cousin could constantly miss it, and no one says anything.

Busy: But I missed once in

Busy: X amount of years of my life, and all of a sudden it becomes, you know. Oh, my God! I think that is

Busy: problematic. I I'm lucky that I think it doesn't happen much

Busy: in my life, but I think that

Busy: I know others where it's a real big.

Busy: Well, what do you mean? You're not coming? Your siblings coming, why aren't you? You always come.

Busy: so give me a breather, then let me have that time off.

tallgirl: It's almost like punishing. If you're a flake, you're excused. If you are consistent, you are. If you're 10 min late, I have, like a 2 flake strike policy going if you flake on me twice.

tallgirl: and for like stupid reasons. And I think people forget social media exists. Oh, I have the worst migraine ever like. Oh, my God! The blood is gushing like whatever it is. And then, 20 min later, you're posting about like, Oh, my God! This ice cream is the best thing ever I'm like.

tallgirl: Stupid.

tallgirl: I have a 2 flake strike policy. I'd rather you be honest and be like I I know I go to things that people are not enthused about. I will invite people to stuff if you don't want to go. Just say you don't want to go

tallgirl: if you come up with like, Oh, you know, Timmy has the flu, and I'm like, Okay, but you don't have kids, and even if you did, neither of them would be named Timmy like don't lie.

tallgirl: but I just 2 flakes, and you're out kind of deal.

tallgirl: but also like, read the room, you know, like, Oh, my God, we should do this, and nobody in the group text writes back.

tallgirl: read the room.

tallgirl: Nobody wants to do a thing.

tallgirl: Nobody wants to do the thing.

Busy: I think how you you ask it, and not just say we automatically should do this. But just I think, if you you approach the. Is anyone interested in this.

Busy: And I I think it's so then, this way, it gives people the chance to say, Yes, I am. No, I'm not.

Busy: and not feel like they are crushing your soul.

tallgirl: Oh, I mean, we know I don't love country music still.

Busy: That's fair. None of us do.

tallgirl: Well, like, well, there are people.

Busy: No, no, I meant us 3.

tallgirl: Yeah, there's a demographic before our listeners come for us like people love Garth Brooks.

Busy: We are not those people.

tallgirl: No, but like I will send invitation every once in a while. I'm surprised by who's like, Yeah, you know, I'll go to that. And I'm like, Oh, okay.

tallgirl: but like a yes or no. But when the people who say no like when they mean it.

tallgirl: or 72 h in advance like I'm not feeling good like I don't want to hang out with you. I have a cold kind of thing. I'd rather hear 72 h in advance.

Busy: Or give me a heads up, hey? I'm not feeling well. I'm not sure how I'll be in a few days, but I wanted to let you know like, especially if we bought a ticket for something like if I think there's a

Busy: Hi Mike on death's door right now, and we have 2 days before an event.

Busy: There's probably a good chance. I'm not gonna make it. If you know that recovery, I'd rather you have time to try and find someone to go with you or just your plans accordingly. Now, if I'm feeling a little sniffle, and it's 72 h away.

Busy: and I don't think it's anything, major, or developing into anything, Major. Then, yeah. But hey, just listen. I'm I'm dealing with this right now, but I should be good to go by Friday.

Busy: Just tell me.

tallgirl: I will also say, like one of the biggest shutdowns, and the easiest way to say No is like this is out of my price range like I cannot make this fit my budget.

tallgirl: I know some people feel awkward about that, because they don't want to have to explain their finances, but like this is the 17th concert this month. Like every concert ticket's a hundred bucks. I just don't have it like, you know, like I can't afford it not in my budget like. It's a very easy way to get out of stuff, and I don't.

Busy: And I, I think how you and I agree with that as as being upfront and honest, I I've told people flat out. But listen right now. I can't swing it, and

Busy: but maybe another time, or I can't do it this year.

WellRead: Maybe plan differently and.

Busy: I've never had anyone give me slack about, thank God, and, like my friends or family, are like All right cool, and people might say, well, I can cover you, and you know if it's something small, maybe I will, but it might, you know. And I said, or I said, I appreciate that, and that's generous of you. But I don't want to.

Busy: you know. I don't want you to put that away. I appreciate you offering that. And again. They're also good. With that I've understand that I appreciate them offering, but I don't always want to have someone covering my way.

Busy: and I think how you do things, and how you say it.

WellRead: Yep, I think that how you say it is 90% of the battle, you know.

WellRead: I think we

WellRead: have this bias in our heads that people are going to get angry. People are going to

WellRead: reject us if we say No to an event.

WellRead: and it turns out that people are actually much more responsive when you're honest about the thing like

WellRead: I can't afford that right now is way more acceptable than at the last minute.

WellRead: I'm I'm sick. I can't go

WellRead: like it's you. Just say, you know.

WellRead: 90% of the time. It is what you say and how you say it.

Busy: And I do think that there are people in our lives. I I think we're talking about like

Busy: 95% of the people in our lives. I think that sure everyone in their life has one or 2 people hopefully, not more than that. Who

Busy: you kind of have to skirt the truth because they're not emotionally, or, you know.

Busy: emotionally able to process that, and they make it bigger than what it needs to be. So we, I think this is for normal level, level headed situations. If it's something like that, then you do what you need to keep your piece and make it easy. So that's a, you know, different and separate.

Busy: But I also I don't know about you. I've tried to

Busy: when I have younger people in my life who will say no.

Busy: and I could see that they feel guilty

Busy: or, you know, like, or even like giving back a gift or something like I I bought a shirt

Busy: for one of my, my, the young people in my life, and they loved it. It just didn't fit well, and

Busy: they didn't want their parent to return it

Busy: because they felt that then I was gonna feel like they didn't want it.

Busy: And I I reached out. I was like, Hey, I hear it doesn't fit. I'm sorry, doesn't, but let's return it so you can get something you like

Busy: that does fit the way you want it.

Busy: And you know, or I'll ask like, Hey, I'm going out. Do you want to come with me? And if they say Well, I don't, I I don't want you to be mad. No, I'm not gonna mad. Just tell me, and then they'll say No, but thank you for telling me, and I want to reward them. So they not only they know that I'm okay with you, saying, No.

Busy: but

Busy: this is what you should expect in your life for people to be okay with your boundaries, and setting them.

tallgirl: I will say I am. When I find events I tend to send them to you guys pretty quickly, but it's also like, if this is a reoccurring event like, how about 2026 like

tallgirl: push it off, or like, if you invite me to a dinner party, and I can't stand your friends like. Oh, I can't make it. But like, what if we go to brunch like next, you know, next Saturday, or something like I can't make this date like truthfully, I can. I don't want to hang out with

tallgirl: the evil ones, but, like I'll pitch, you know, like an alternative idea, or like, you know, I'll host next time, or something just to

tallgirl: it's not that I don't want to hang with you. I don't want to be part of the situation, but I also don't want to make you feel bad like I can't stand your friends. I don't need to bring extra drama to like your.

tallgirl: I can't spend another night talking about like Russian literature with those people like I love you. I can't stand them, and no, so I'll just politely like pitch another idea, or whatever else. But we've started doing that stuff on the calendar like this seems like a 2027 thing like it's great. We love it.

tallgirl: It also seems like something we have no capacity for. So like, you know, every year we kind of know that between our friends we do like a cookie swap like other like I have friendsgiving with other friends kind of stuff like

tallgirl: there's stuff that's coming up, and it's like, No, you know, the I've now learned like the day or 2 before Cookie swap like I have to not say yes to anything, because.

WellRead: Otherwise.

tallgirl: I'll never get the cookies made.

WellRead: Mhm yep.

tallgirl: And that's 1 of those like. I used to come home from a concert Friday night, and then, like bake all the way until Saturday for cookie swap, and with age it's just like I can't be making cookies at 7 Am. Anymore, like.

WellRead: I need to sleep.

tallgirl: Bake through the night

tallgirl: like, I love you guys, I love hanging out with you guys. I also desperately want to nap on the couch, especially after like a sugar high. Of all the cookies like the drive home, is like.

WellRead: Yeah, no, I've I've definitely planned to not go to Cookie Swap for reasons that I was busy

WellRead: right before it. And then I knew I couldn't make the commitment to making all those cookies. So I think, yeah, it's it all comes down to.

WellRead: What do we have the capacity for right now, is it something feasible? Is it not feasible? And we are getting really good about saying, well, maybe next year.

WellRead: next year in Malta.

Busy: Next year Malta fingers crossed.

tallgirl: I don't think I've ever really, except for, like a couple of bachelorette things where people are like. It was always motivated by like they wanted something to happen the few times I've said no, and people like, Oh, my God, how could you?

tallgirl: And I'm like, and of those times I'm like best thing I ever did was say no, and find out how terrible you are like. Oh, I saved myself so much like the fear of like. Won't they be mad? They're going to hold this against me, whatever whatever like.

tallgirl: Honestly, I get invited to like pampered chef stuff, and I'm like

tallgirl: I have a garlic peeler from pampered chef like there's nothing else I can bring to this party like. I don't want to spend the money on your Mlm, and I've really like gotten okay with saying that one because it's like, Oh, but if you show up I get money. I'm like you get

tallgirl: you get a free.

WellRead: From me.

tallgirl: I have to drive 2 and a half hours, and then I have to sit there through the whole pitch.

tallgirl: I'm good like this is not.

tallgirl: Can I just mail you $23 like.

Busy: And if there is something, even if it's something I like

Busy: I don't want. And I had to keep on a budget

Busy: like cause. I know that. And that's why they know they have those parties. You're gonna spend more. When you're there, you get wrapped up in the excitement. All that stuff. That's great. I if you want to do that wonderful. But I know that like, yeah, I may enjoy stuff.

Busy: I really don't have the time, or I really don't want to spend more than what I need to

Busy: like. All right, I will help. I will buy one thing, and

Busy: I will contribute and support and move on.

tallgirl: Like? Is there a link? Can can I skip all of this? If there's a link.

Busy: We love a link.

tallgirl: They used to make these little like salad dressing containers that you could like bring salad dressing to work in, that were sold by like Tupperware

tallgirl: every couple years when somebody had a Tupperware party. I'm like, put me down for the little salad dressing bottles. I need new ones, but like I will not be coming to your Tupperware party. That's just.

tallgirl: I will also say no like, and this is a life lessons. I will say no to 1st birthdays.

tallgirl: I can't.

tallgirl: I can't see another smash cake, like

tallgirl: all the non parents are outside drinking. All the parents are inside drinking. The Kid has no idea. And I'm like, why are we doing this.

Busy: Think I don't know about you.

Busy: but I both. I don't know. Maybe in my personal life I see a lot more. People don't have

Busy: like from growing up like 1st birthdays and kids like was all with your family. You just have like family dinner with a cake.

Busy: And then, when you got to a certain age, then you may have had your own.

WellRead: You got to school age. And you you have your own party, or you have a party with somebody else, whose birthday is close to you or yeah, something along those lines. But

WellRead: yeah, 1st birthdays weren't a thing

WellRead: when we were kids. And now they kind of are. And it's weird.

tallgirl: When we have party on top of party, like the gender, reveal the pre-gender, reveal the pre like everybody comes to town, the wedding dinner the whatever dinner

tallgirl: like. There's the push gift. Now there's the push party where you basically celebrate the fact that they got the push gift. I'm like we are. We are finding too many reasons to party like it's great. There's a theme, there's balloons. There's a whatever

tallgirl: divorce parties. The 1st time I got invited to a divorce party. I was like, you have to be kidding me. I bought you a toaster.

tallgirl: Your marriage didn't work out. Now. You're inviting me to another party, where you've registered again for a toaster.

Busy: Oh, no, not that! I.

tallgirl: I like. I want to be supportive, and you're a friend, but I cannot keep on buying you appliances for every major life event.

Busy: Divorce party to celebrate the divorce, and we're going out for drinks.

tallgirl: Oh, the period! Parties for my godchildren! I am down. You need a blood red cake with blood red icing. You need a sanitary pad theme. I am here for you. But the the gender reveal anniversary.

tallgirl: and that one really I was like a we should not be doing Gender reveals - gender, reveal anniversary.

Busy: So if we reveal that we're having a boy in 2024 2025, we're doing an anniversary from each

tallgirl: Like

tallgirl: memory of the greatest moment, like, you know, before we knew you kind of thing like it's it's an excuse to have a pre party 3 months before his 1st birthday kind of thing, and I'm like we are

tallgirl: used to go word.

WellRead: It's an excuse to get more out of the people in your life that is monetary and physical as opposed to more out of them emotionally.

Busy: I feel it's also an excuse to make yourself feel relative.

WellRead: Relevant.

Busy: Relevant, that's what. Yes, thank you.

tallgirl: Relative to, but you know.

Busy: But, like listen, I am all for certain celebrations. I I know that there's, you know, if let's say, with engagements, people have

Busy: they got engaged, some people having a party.

Busy: and then you might have a you know, if a shower

Busy: for items, you know, depending on what part of the world you are. Some people just bring it to the wedding. Okay, whatever your your customs, your area, and all that. But all these extra extra like. No.

Busy: no.

Busy: it is. I'm so grateful that none of us, or like our friends, I don't have any friends who are doing an anniversary to the gender reveal. I'm also so grateful. I have 2 cousins pregnant right now. One is due next month. One is due

Busy: towards the end of the year, and

Busy: we are family on that side of family who likes to wait until the baby's born.

Busy: We don't know what the gender is, and I'm like we're doing a guessing game right now. We're filling out a calendar to guess who we are. But we're not, you know, and if we and their family members who do do that. That's fine. But like it, is not this.

Busy: not everything. I'm okay with some, not every. Some of this is becoming like a halfway to their one birthday. No.

tallgirl: My child, is not 6 month anniversary. Yeah.

Busy: Get out of here.

tallgirl: Anniversary. I got invited to 2 divorce signing parties, the couple apparently I wasn't split in their split. I got invited to both their divorce signing parties, and I'm like.

tallgirl: so this is just a test to see who says yes or no to like. Well, Amy chose to come to my divorce signing party, and I'm like I

tallgirl: I got.

tallgirl: Oh.

tallgirl: I got like I just I can't. The more the parties for the events that are like he he did his 1st dookie outside of a diaper like that. That's not a party I'm going to.

tallgirl: I had 3 rooms built, not.

WellRead: I know I actually, really, I'm not a huge fan of sex and the city. But I did like

WellRead: one of the responses

WellRead: to all of these parties that you get invited to where you have to bring a gift.

WellRead: She threw herself a party, and she was on a registry, so you gotta

WellRead: gotta get me a gift for just being alive.

tallgirl: No, honestly, sometimes my gift is my presence. I'm not also like buying you an $80 item like, Choose wisely. Do you want my presence? Or do you want a present like.

Busy: Yeah, what is maybe, before you were comfortable, saying, No, what have been some of the more elaborate

Busy: or outlandish ways that you've said no, to anyone in any situation.

WellRead: I've never gotten elaborate.

WellRead: I mean, most of the time in my early years. It was

WellRead: I couldn't go because of work, and that was the god's honest truth.

Busy: Yep.

WellRead: I, you know, was working retail or working more than one job or waitressing whatever

WellRead: so I couldn't, couldn't go, and I had that as the excuse, and I got comfortable with saying No from that.

WellRead: so I don't really get elaborate.

Busy: Tallgirl! Anything from your end?

tallgirl: When I used to have to say no, and I wasn't.

tallgirl: Whatever I would use other people's drama stories. I would just use them at a later date.

tallgirl: If there was a good drama story like I had an admin for a while that she just

tallgirl: things happened to her, and drama just followed her, and there were always elaborate blow-ups, and every once in a while be like

tallgirl: this would make a good excuse story. And this is unique, and this is creative, and I would just kind of put it in a vault for later, and then be like my pet tiger attacked my grandma.

tallgirl: It's not a lie. There's a backstory. There's information, there's resources.

WellRead: You are the Tiger King, apparently.

tallgirl: Huh!

tallgirl: I mean, I also used to travel a lot. So it was literally like the answer usually was like.

tallgirl: I mean legit, like I would. I would love to be at your party, and I know I. Rsvp. Yes, but I don't land for another 2 h because of delay. Kind of thing. So that's kind of.

Busy: Yeah.

WellRead: How about you busy? Anything elaborate that you've.

Busy: Not that I could think of, I mean, I think I've just sometimes said like.

Busy: Oh, I already have something when I didn't, but nothing too like crazy, because then.

tallgirl: When I tell the truth that people are like no way. And I'm like photo of me with broken toe in er like, did you really think we're gonna question? It's when I tell the truth of like, why, I don't want to. People like you could just say, and I'm like.

Busy: It. This is. This is why.

tallgirl: You know, it's been years since I've like. I tend to say no without explanation, more so than like.

tallgirl: and I like the learning to make an alternative date like, I don't want to go with you and your 6 friends, because I can't stand your 6 friends like as soon as I figured out to just like pitch an alternate idea like, Why don't we just grab drinks next Thursday instead?

tallgirl: I think that was like the last moment, and then, when it came down to like the divorce parties and the like, you know, semi bump push parties. I was just like I saw the invitation. I saw that it was made by hallmark, and I was like, no, this is an automatic. No, just

tallgirl: the fact that hallmark makes a card for this. I feel like morally, I just have to say no.

Busy: Mentally, I just have to say, no like this is not within my bandwidth.

WellRead: I am protecting my peace.

tallgirl: I didn't pretend my sanity, my peace. You know the the

tallgirl: I am protecting the local police department for not having to show up when I just lose it on this like.

tallgirl: And there are certain things like, I'm not going to your briss. I don't.

tallgirl: I can celebrate you in different ways. I don't need to see your foreskin cut off like I'm just. There are events that I'm clear that I don't want to attend. I I don't even need to lie. I don't want to see your foreskin removed.

WellRead: I think that's fair.

tallgirl: I don't care how good the Bagels are. Just. No, thank you.

Busy: Not even coming later.

tallgirl: Well, I mean, like

tallgirl: I've had coworkers invite me to stuff that. I'm just like. I think we rank each other differently and importance like I wouldn't.

tallgirl: I wouldn't invite you to like my wedding so like the fact that I'm being invited to your like father's funeral. I'm like

tallgirl: I don't.

tallgirl: I don't think that's a thing.

Busy: I don't think I've been invited to funerals necessarily.

tallgirl: People will send me links, and I'm just like that. That's nice. I'll like. I'll send flowers. I can't imagine why you like. I've never met your dad. We are coworkers like. I can't imagine why you think

tallgirl: I can't imagine why you think I would

tallgirl: be appropriate at this time or event.

tallgirl: I will admit I'm entertaining. I've been invited to weddings that I definitely shouldn't have been at, but they're like we like you. Come drink with us.

tallgirl: I don't know. So basically we are. We are people who've learned to say no pretty quickly.

WellRead: Which will surprise nobody in the audience.

tallgirl: Never know. Somebody could have randomly tripped over the podcast these sound like.

WellRead: No, I'm just a girl who can't say no.

tallgirl: Unless it's a hallmark. Printed invitation.

Busy: Absolutely not. I will. No, no, no, yeah, my sign is no.

tallgirl: My name is no, my number is.

tallgirl: So that's it. For episode 18. Whether your social battery is full, flashing, red, or completely unplugged, you're allowed to say no.

Busy: Next week we're diving into money.

Busy: Why, budgeting is hard spending, spending is emotional, and none of us needed that candle.

WellRead: If you enjoyed this episode, rate, review, or send it to the friend who always cancels, but somehow never loses your love. We see you.

tallgirl: Or send it to the friend who needs permission to opt out of brunch. This is your sign.

Busy: Until then. Guys, stay sensible.

WellRead: Or embrace the chaos.

tallgirl: Preferably both.

tallgirl: Do, do, do, do.

Busy: It's seriously, it's like the stop recording. It's like the.