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I just feel like we need to just start

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talking because I would feel like we don't

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really need to introduce it because I feel

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like that's so informal for us, for me

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to be like, Hey, y welcome to the class.

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Tell everyone about yourself.

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Yeah.

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It does feel weird for me to be like,

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Hey, I'm so and so, 'cause I'm, Yvette.

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And that's more than enough.

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Like we're not gonna introduce

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ourselves and then we're just doing it.

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I just wanna be more

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casual on these podcasts.

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I feel like because of where I came

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from with doing like, the podcast

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before, I don't know if people listening

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know, like, I used to work for like a

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mommy brand and so I did a podcast and

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so it was very formal 'cause it was

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for like a brand that I worked for.

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And so I'm so used to like doing that

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now and I'm like, I just wanna hang out

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with people when they come on, you know?

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Yeah, yeah.

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Could have been recording

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the whole time.

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I know we talked about so many things.

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We'll see if they come up again.

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I'm sure they will, but I was just like,

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oh, it's getting late and we're chatting.

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We should probably just start.

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Yeah.

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Thanks for coming back on.

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Thanks for having me again.

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I'm excited.

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that was on, I don't even know.

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What month are we?

39
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It's July now.

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Yeah.

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This doesn't come out until

42
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August or September, but,

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yeah, it was last fall I think.

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Definitely.

45
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Right.

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Last fall.

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No, this is Jan.

48
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Nevermind.

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This has only been a year in the

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making.

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Not even.

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yeah, I think I started

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this podcast in January.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Yeah.

56
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You got me so confused.

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My, it's my brain.

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I know my husband and I always say my

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husband, don't even talk to you like that.

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My husband Zach and I, I

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don't know who that is.

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I know you're like, no idea what that is.

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Zach and I are always

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like, time is so weird.

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'cause like, we'll look at

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pictures of my daughter.

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I just, her privacy stuff.

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and she was a full on baby last year.

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Like now she's like a kid.

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Mm-hmm.

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I know you sent Well Matt, my husband sent

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the picture of her and I was like, what?

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Who is that?

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She's

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like a kid.

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She's a kid.

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I know.

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She's like full on thoughts and stuff.

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It's so weird how they

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just grow up so fast.

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I love that she's into Spider-Man though.

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'cause definitely went through her

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Spider-Man phase and they were so excited

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when we went to go see the exhibit.

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Yeah.

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So they loved it.

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Good stuff.

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I love that.

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It feels like just yesterday you were

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pregnant at my wedding with Bria.

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Yeah.

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It was cute.

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We were at the exhibit and she's

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like, mom, I was taking a picture.

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She's like, mom, I, can't do it.

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And she's like, trying to figure it out.

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She's like, holier

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with those fingers.

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Yeah, with her other

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hand.

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It's like, whew.

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Like, you got it girl.

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You got it.

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We'll have to teach the baby.

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Yeah.

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I'm like weird.

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Like, it doesn't even like

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matter if people know her name.

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I'm just like, I think what I'm afraid

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of, and this is me being vulnerable,

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I never want people to say negative

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comment about her in any way.

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You know what I'm saying?

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Mm-hmm.

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I don't know, I just feel very

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like, protective about it.

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'cause I've seen people like post about

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like, oh, these are my kids or something.

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And someone will be like,

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that's a weird name.

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Or that's, oh, why would you let

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your kid wear that or do that?

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And I'm like.

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I know I'm sensitive and if

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anyone had say anything about

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my child, they'd be like, wow.

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Like, mm-hmm.

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So props to like all the

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moms out there that just

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I remember like, when Paris Hilton had her

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baby and people were being so mean about

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her son, and I was like, that is awful.

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Mm-hmm.

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And I feel like it happens all the time.

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Yeah.

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Oh, I think it's terrible.

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Yeah.

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And I think one of the things too that you

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keep seeing is now with like, I wonder if

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in your profession too, it's like, because

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there's so much more awareness of like.

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special needs or autism

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or, you different things.

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I feel like people are so quick

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to like diagnose other people.

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I've seen it online.

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someone will post their child and

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they're like, oh, have you got them

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checked for this, blah, blah, blah.

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And it's like, don't say that

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out someone else's child.

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Like, don't label 'em.

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Yeah, don't label.

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Like obviously if you see like

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a spot on their back and you're

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like, that might be melanoma.

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Yeah.

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Let's like, maybe have them look in.

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I've heard of that happening

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where people get checked then.

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I don't know.

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I guess that's why I'm

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the way I am about stuff.

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I don't even know what

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we're talking about.

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we're just talking to just start talking.

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I was telling Yvette before we started

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that I was recording with, this girl

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Katie, that was on my podcast and we were

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talking, she's like, just start recording.

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Mm-hmm.

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And I still felt so weird doing

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it 'cause I was like, I felt like

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I still need to introduce her.

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And she's like, let's

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just see what happens.

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And I was like.

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Yeah, so we were talking about this

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and like, I feel like outta sorts,

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like the planner in me is like,

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oh my gosh,

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but

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do I have to do this?

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I have to do that.

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Where do we go next?

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Yeah.

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It's so weird.

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I don't know,

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it's good to be like authentic

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in it and just go for it.

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Yeah.

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That's true.

193
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Mm-hmm.

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Which I could just like turn

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off the part of my brain

196
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that's like, it doesn't matter.

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Just be you girl.

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I dunno.

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Okay, last time you were here,

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we did something similar.

201
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We were kind of doing like crazy stories.

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Mm-hmm.

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And we're gonna react to one

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of course, like we always do.

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But I was thinking too, I'm like, I

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feel like we could tell so much more.

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I don't even know what

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I'm saying right now.

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Did you plan for this?

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No, I have my talking

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points and that's it.

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Okay.

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I just went on a walk and so I

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feel like my allergies are so bad.

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Oh, no.

216
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Yeah.

217
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Yeah.

218
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I don't have that problem.

219
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I'm sorry.

220
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I can't relate, but my husband

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has that problem and he's,

222
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I'm always like, are you okay?

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He's like, oh, my allergies are so bad.

224
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I'm like, I don't, get it.

225
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I'm fine.

226
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I know.

227
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I usually don't have 'em.

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This is the first year.

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Oh,

230
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really?

231
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Yeah.

232
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So they could still be coming.

233
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You're young.

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Just wait.

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I used to have 'em when I was

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like in middle school for like

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two years and then never again.

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Really?

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So fingers crossed it stays that way.

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It'll stay that way.

241
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You'll get lucky.

242
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no, I know what I was gonna say, but I was

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trying to like protect myself, you know?

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That's when I was like, when you start

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00:05:26,399 --> 00:05:27,509
talking with someone, you're like,

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okay, wait, should I say that or not?

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Mm. With Zach.

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He was on a Patreon episode and we

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were talking about groomsmen stories.

250
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Mm. after we like finished recording

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recently, I was like, Zach, you

252
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have crazy groomsmen stories,

253
00:05:44,140 --> 00:05:45,614
that like you didn't talk about.

254
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And then I was like, thinking

255
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about when you were on, I'm

256
00:05:47,950 --> 00:05:49,440
like, you are my maid of honor.

257
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:50,597
I was like, I wonder if you

258
00:05:50,597 --> 00:05:53,010
have any like crazy stories or

259
00:05:53,299 --> 00:05:54,190
about you?

260
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,944
No, I can just, Krista,

261
00:05:57,105 --> 00:05:58,834
she comes off really sweet.

262
00:05:58,834 --> 00:06:02,584
But she was the biggest bridezilla ever.

263
00:06:04,389 --> 00:06:05,444
No, actually, literally

264
00:06:05,474 --> 00:06:06,494
quite the opposite.

265
00:06:06,494 --> 00:06:07,760
You were like, oh yeah, I don't care if

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you wear white at my bachelorette party.

267
00:06:08,990 --> 00:06:09,590
I'm like, what?

268
00:06:09,650 --> 00:06:11,480
No, they cannot wear white.

269
00:06:11,481 --> 00:06:12,504
Like, that's for you.

270
00:06:12,865 --> 00:06:14,185
I feel like at that point I was

271
00:06:14,185 --> 00:06:15,595
just like, everybody's here.

272
00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:17,959
why does it matter what people wear?

273
00:06:18,199 --> 00:06:18,409
Yeah.

274
00:06:18,409 --> 00:06:21,095
Also it's so awkward, maybe this is me

275
00:06:21,095 --> 00:06:23,066
too, but you like think of that moment

276
00:06:23,066 --> 00:06:24,776
of like, oh, cool, it's my bachelorette.

277
00:06:24,776 --> 00:06:26,276
It's like my party.

278
00:06:26,276 --> 00:06:27,956
But then when you're the one in white

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00:06:27,956 --> 00:06:29,186
and everyone's wearing black, you're

280
00:06:29,186 --> 00:06:32,170
like, for the attention please.

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00:06:32,170 --> 00:06:32,770
Like, yeah.

282
00:06:32,770 --> 00:06:33,776
It's fun to kind of like

283
00:06:33,776 --> 00:06:35,550
notice oh, you're the bride.

284
00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:37,250
But then it's like, also

285
00:06:37,483 --> 00:06:38,914
please look at my friends.

286
00:06:38,950 --> 00:06:40,090
they're awesome.

287
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:40,606
Yeah.

288
00:06:40,606 --> 00:06:41,926
For my bachelorette party, we went

289
00:06:41,926 --> 00:06:44,723
to, a drag show they were calling me

290
00:06:44,723 --> 00:06:47,016
out because I was a bride, but they

291
00:06:47,016 --> 00:06:48,786
didn't quite know who was a bride

292
00:06:48,786 --> 00:06:50,106
and they're all like, it's this one.

293
00:06:50,106 --> 00:06:51,502
And I was wearing white and I was like,

294
00:06:51,502 --> 00:06:54,516
okay, not your typical, full on, you know?

295
00:06:54,770 --> 00:06:55,250
Yeah.

296
00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:56,193
So fun.

297
00:06:56,384 --> 00:06:56,730
Yeah.

298
00:06:57,028 --> 00:06:58,046
Part of me wishes.

299
00:06:58,163 --> 00:06:59,933
I think the second day of my

300
00:06:59,933 --> 00:07:02,260
bachelorette, I was feeling really

301
00:07:02,260 --> 00:07:04,890
tired I feel so old right now.

302
00:07:05,014 --> 00:07:06,293
I don't know if I was hungover or

303
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:07,613
what, but I remember we were doing

304
00:07:07,613 --> 00:07:10,953
the, like, the pedal bus oh yeah.

305
00:07:11,048 --> 00:07:13,343
I was like, girl, wake up.

306
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:15,623
I didn't know that.

307
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:16,793
Gosh, I thought you were just like

308
00:07:16,793 --> 00:07:17,650
having the

309
00:07:17,650 --> 00:07:18,610
best time ever.

310
00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:20,784
I was having the best time ever, it was

311
00:07:20,784 --> 00:07:22,104
like one of those where I was like, I

312
00:07:22,104 --> 00:07:23,994
feel like I'm in my thirties right now.

313
00:07:25,284 --> 00:07:25,791
Yeah.

314
00:07:26,084 --> 00:07:28,648
you said like if I had any crazy stories,

315
00:07:28,648 --> 00:07:30,448
this is not like I just had a friend

316
00:07:30,448 --> 00:07:33,264
over who I grew up with, but she's

317
00:07:33,264 --> 00:07:34,734
currently living in Texas, so she stopped

318
00:07:34,734 --> 00:07:36,938
by, the other day and she's planning,

319
00:07:36,938 --> 00:07:38,794
so her sister's getting married she

320
00:07:38,794 --> 00:07:40,804
was planning kind of like a surprise

321
00:07:41,064 --> 00:07:42,114
bachelorette party kind of thing.

322
00:07:42,381 --> 00:07:44,061
Well, part of it was all planned out.

323
00:07:44,258 --> 00:07:45,959
It was just like her cousins and really

324
00:07:45,959 --> 00:07:48,059
good friends and like the bridal party,

325
00:07:48,271 --> 00:07:51,143
but they were at this beach and then all

326
00:07:51,143 --> 00:07:53,573
of a sudden all of these women, so her

327
00:07:53,633 --> 00:07:56,213
aunts, her mom, her grandma, they all

328
00:07:56,213 --> 00:07:59,063
came in their original wedding dress,

329
00:07:59,258 --> 00:08:01,678
their wedding dresses, with the big poofy

330
00:08:01,678 --> 00:08:03,868
sleeves and everything and the veils.

331
00:08:03,868 --> 00:08:05,158
And they all surprised her.

332
00:08:05,343 --> 00:08:07,041
And then they went out to all these and

333
00:08:07,041 --> 00:08:09,111
all the women were like in their wedding

334
00:08:09,111 --> 00:08:09,651
gowns.

335
00:08:09,711 --> 00:08:11,979
And I'm like, that is so funny.

336
00:08:13,011 --> 00:08:13,809
I love that.

337
00:08:13,839 --> 00:08:15,429
Did you see that trend a while back?

338
00:08:15,429 --> 00:08:17,649
That was like, you go to Goodwill

339
00:08:17,649 --> 00:08:19,449
and you buy like an old lady dress?

340
00:08:19,644 --> 00:08:20,739
No, but I've always wanted to do

341
00:08:20,739 --> 00:08:21,159
that.

342
00:08:21,219 --> 00:08:21,819
Yes.

343
00:08:21,909 --> 00:08:22,299
Oh my gosh.

344
00:08:22,299 --> 00:08:24,889
Why didn't we do that for this podcast?

345
00:08:25,159 --> 00:08:25,549
I don't

346
00:08:25,549 --> 00:08:25,819
know.

347
00:08:26,269 --> 00:08:27,049
We just like wearing

348
00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:28,729
eighties wedding dresses.

349
00:08:28,963 --> 00:08:29,556
Oh my gosh.

350
00:08:29,579 --> 00:08:30,539
That would've been so funny.

351
00:08:30,539 --> 00:08:31,979
It's funny you say that actually,

352
00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:33,689
because right before I was getting

353
00:08:33,689 --> 00:08:35,513
ready to come on, I was like, oh, we

354
00:08:35,513 --> 00:08:36,833
should have done a theme and like.

355
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,323
Or something, but I was

356
00:08:38,323 --> 00:08:39,806
like, you literally see like

357
00:08:39,806 --> 00:08:42,536
this far up in my head, so

358
00:08:42,746 --> 00:08:42,986
yeah.

359
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,096
That's so funny.

360
00:08:44,313 --> 00:08:44,603
I know.

361
00:08:44,603 --> 00:08:45,773
That would've been really funny if we

362
00:08:45,773 --> 00:08:47,520
just like, we like didn't talk about it.

363
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:48,481
we just came out and

364
00:08:48,481 --> 00:08:49,536
like acted like, yeah.

365
00:08:49,536 --> 00:08:51,091
Like it was totally normal.

366
00:08:51,271 --> 00:08:52,551
Next time I might need

367
00:08:52,551 --> 00:08:53,421
some wine if we do that.

368
00:08:53,421 --> 00:08:55,318
Speaking of, I don't think

369
00:08:55,318 --> 00:08:56,728
I'm a wine person anymore.

370
00:08:57,011 --> 00:08:57,378
I don't know.

371
00:08:58,354 --> 00:08:59,671
I bought a bottle of wine.

372
00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:00,191
Yeah.

373
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:03,198
and my husband Zach was somewhere last

374
00:09:03,198 --> 00:09:04,778
night, he was at a friend's house and

375
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,624
I like poured a glass I texted him,

376
00:09:06,624 --> 00:09:08,294
I was like, I'm pouring this out.

377
00:09:08,294 --> 00:09:09,014
This is like this.

378
00:09:09,293 --> 00:09:09,941
I just can't,

379
00:09:10,219 --> 00:09:11,419
is it the sugar free

380
00:09:11,419 --> 00:09:11,869
wine.

381
00:09:12,148 --> 00:09:12,876
Oh, okay.

382
00:09:13,056 --> 00:09:14,886
Is it because like, do

383
00:09:14,886 --> 00:09:15,816
you drink other stuff or?

384
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:16,236
No,

385
00:09:16,446 --> 00:09:17,616
I honestly couldn't tell you

386
00:09:17,616 --> 00:09:19,056
the last time I had a drink.

387
00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:19,786
Wow.

388
00:09:19,786 --> 00:09:20,536
I am so.

389
00:09:20,798 --> 00:09:21,848
I'm just proud of you guys

390
00:09:21,848 --> 00:09:23,918
because  Zach doesn't drink

391
00:09:23,918 --> 00:09:25,898
and now you are not drinking.

392
00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:26,258
And I'm,

393
00:09:26,797 --> 00:09:27,397
it's not like that.

394
00:09:27,397 --> 00:09:29,580
I'm not, like, if I was at a social

395
00:09:29,580 --> 00:09:31,530
event, I would maybe have a drink.

396
00:09:31,833 --> 00:09:32,673
I'm trying to think.

397
00:09:32,988 --> 00:09:34,538
Have I been anywhere now?

398
00:09:34,538 --> 00:09:35,018
I can't remember.

399
00:09:35,018 --> 00:09:36,008
I feel like there was somewhere I

400
00:09:36,008 --> 00:09:37,448
was at recently and I had a drink.

401
00:09:37,715 --> 00:09:39,288
Anyways, we're getting off topic again.

402
00:09:39,318 --> 00:09:40,458
I don't even know if there is a topic.

403
00:09:40,458 --> 00:09:40,788
Okay.

404
00:09:41,068 --> 00:09:42,748
I feel like I always think of crazy

405
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,068
stories that I wanna tell later.

406
00:09:44,068 --> 00:09:45,568
So if as it comes up, it, maybe it'll,

407
00:09:46,099 --> 00:09:47,079
We're gonna switch things up this

408
00:09:47,079 --> 00:09:49,989
week and we are gonna do rapid fire.

409
00:09:50,245 --> 00:09:50,332
Mm-hmm.

410
00:09:50,572 --> 00:09:52,672
So this is gonna be a this or that.

411
00:09:52,672 --> 00:09:54,832
So some wedding chaos addition.

412
00:09:54,832 --> 00:09:56,222
So, just like for different,

413
00:09:56,222 --> 00:09:56,972
like wedding things.

414
00:09:57,002 --> 00:09:57,302
Okay.

415
00:09:57,612 --> 00:09:59,949
Would you rather cry in the bridal

416
00:09:59,949 --> 00:10:02,686
suite over a seating chart or cry on

417
00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:04,576
the dance floor in front of everybody?

418
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:05,916
Cry in private.

419
00:10:06,187 --> 00:10:07,067
Is it my wedding?

420
00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:08,960
if it's my wedding, I can cry.

421
00:10:08,990 --> 00:10:11,217
I don't care if it's not my wedding.

422
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,233
I'm not crying and making it about me.

423
00:10:13,323 --> 00:10:14,283
This is about them.

424
00:10:14,493 --> 00:10:14,853
Yeah.

425
00:10:15,133 --> 00:10:16,873
I think these are for your wedding.

426
00:10:16,933 --> 00:10:17,413
I don't know.

427
00:10:17,725 --> 00:10:18,173
Hmm.

428
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:18,473
I

429
00:10:18,473 --> 00:10:19,823
mean, whatever, whatever you're thinking.

430
00:10:20,031 --> 00:10:20,373
Yeah.

431
00:10:20,648 --> 00:10:22,718
would you rather have one therapy session

432
00:10:22,718 --> 00:10:24,068
before your wedding planning starts?

433
00:10:24,098 --> 00:10:25,958
Or unlimited venting voice

434
00:10:26,018 --> 00:10:27,398
notes from your best friend?

435
00:10:27,654 --> 00:10:30,638
I would see a therapy session

436
00:10:30,638 --> 00:10:33,555
every week leading up to a

437
00:10:33,555 --> 00:10:35,445
marriage, and then after, no,

438
00:10:35,715 --> 00:10:37,481
yeah, I have to say therapy.

439
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:38,020
Mm-hmm.

440
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:38,940
Mm-hmm.

441
00:10:39,025 --> 00:10:39,105
Mm-hmm.

442
00:10:39,918 --> 00:10:40,365
Okay.

443
00:10:40,395 --> 00:10:42,075
Would you rather have a mother-in-law

444
00:10:42,105 --> 00:10:43,965
who overs, shares everything, or

445
00:10:43,965 --> 00:10:46,065
one who silently judges everything.

446
00:10:46,335 --> 00:10:48,095
Oh, overshare, please.

447
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:49,605
I wanna be comfortable.

448
00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:50,025
And

449
00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:52,025
you want someone that overs, shares

450
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,051
like my stuff?

451
00:10:53,441 --> 00:10:53,741
Yeah.

452
00:10:54,061 --> 00:10:55,591
Mm. I don't care.

453
00:10:55,591 --> 00:10:56,671
I'm pretty vulnerable.

454
00:10:56,868 --> 00:10:57,858
what would she share?

455
00:10:57,895 --> 00:11:00,868
Like let's say If I was pregnant and she

456
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,968
was like telling people I'd be pissed.

457
00:11:02,998 --> 00:11:04,095
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

458
00:11:04,095 --> 00:11:04,335
Oh yeah, no.

459
00:11:04,565 --> 00:11:06,128
Or like maybe you've been having really

460
00:11:06,128 --> 00:11:07,478
bad pain and you've been going to

461
00:11:07,478 --> 00:11:08,858
see the doctor and she's like telling

462
00:11:08,858 --> 00:11:10,508
everybody at church or something.

463
00:11:11,285 --> 00:11:12,731
Oh, and what was my other option?

464
00:11:12,988 --> 00:11:14,325
Or silently judges you.

465
00:11:14,605 --> 00:11:16,655
I think everyone judges, right?

466
00:11:16,891 --> 00:11:17,051
Yeah.

467
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:17,321
So

468
00:11:17,501 --> 00:11:18,371
I'm sure everyone like

469
00:11:18,461 --> 00:11:20,325
has, I guess that's fine.

470
00:11:20,595 --> 00:11:20,760
Yeah.

471
00:11:20,765 --> 00:11:21,175
Yeah.

472
00:11:21,371 --> 00:11:22,461
Now that you say it that way, like

473
00:11:22,461 --> 00:11:24,181
I'd rather her just be like, Ugh.

474
00:11:24,385 --> 00:11:25,718
And she's not sharing with

475
00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:26,858
people, so that's fine.

476
00:11:27,115 --> 00:11:27,438
Yeah.

477
00:11:28,918 --> 00:11:30,198
Keep it an all to ourselves.

478
00:11:30,828 --> 00:11:31,188
Yeah.

479
00:11:31,521 --> 00:11:32,891
would you rather forget your

480
00:11:32,891 --> 00:11:35,395
vows or say them perfectly while

481
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,405
having a visible panic sweat?

482
00:11:37,915 --> 00:11:38,905
I would forget my vows.

483
00:11:39,468 --> 00:11:42,450
Because I would be able to say great

484
00:11:42,450 --> 00:11:44,040
things about my partner either way.

485
00:11:44,250 --> 00:11:44,460
Mm-hmm.

486
00:11:45,020 --> 00:11:45,290
Yeah.

487
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:45,951
There you go.

488
00:11:46,191 --> 00:11:48,336
I'll get you so well spoken.

489
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:50,016
Oh my gosh.

490
00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:52,313
Yeah, I agree with that Would you rather

491
00:11:52,313 --> 00:11:54,533
lose your cool during a dress fitting

492
00:11:54,765 --> 00:11:57,236
or during your rehearsal dinner speech?

493
00:11:57,489 --> 00:11:59,266
Wait, I'm laughing because I just realized

494
00:11:59,266 --> 00:12:00,946
we never talked about my dress fitting.

495
00:12:01,156 --> 00:12:02,086
Should we talk about it?

496
00:12:02,261 --> 00:12:03,496
I, I just thought about that.

497
00:12:03,496 --> 00:12:03,976
Yes.

498
00:12:03,976 --> 00:12:05,596
Tell the story please.

499
00:12:05,596 --> 00:12:08,056
Because I immediately thought about that.

500
00:12:08,146 --> 00:12:09,256
Oh my gosh.

501
00:12:09,346 --> 00:12:09,796
Okay.

502
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:11,383
So I can believe I've never

503
00:12:11,383 --> 00:12:12,403
like, shared this before.

504
00:12:12,729 --> 00:12:14,349
was it my first dress fitting?

505
00:12:14,591 --> 00:12:16,745
No, I think it was your second.

506
00:12:17,229 --> 00:12:18,839
So it was to try it on.

507
00:12:18,869 --> 00:12:20,429
So I went into my dress fitting

508
00:12:20,642 --> 00:12:23,609
and I think for that one it was

509
00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:25,102
no 'cause you had already been

510
00:12:25,102 --> 00:12:25,822
there before.

511
00:12:26,065 --> 00:12:26,569
Yeah, this was,

512
00:12:26,957 --> 00:12:27,309
yeah.

513
00:12:27,309 --> 00:12:28,659
So this is your second time.

514
00:12:28,839 --> 00:12:31,059
So I must have gone, did I go by myself?

515
00:12:31,321 --> 00:12:33,085
I think Jordan went with you

516
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,315
the first time, didn't she?

517
00:12:34,345 --> 00:12:36,195
And then I went with you the second time.

518
00:12:36,430 --> 00:12:36,784
Okay.

519
00:12:36,844 --> 00:12:38,104
Jordan and my mother-in-law, I

520
00:12:38,104 --> 00:12:39,874
think went the first time maybe.

521
00:12:40,113 --> 00:12:41,644
Yeah, pretty sure.

522
00:12:41,649 --> 00:12:41,839
Yeah.

523
00:12:42,064 --> 00:12:42,544
Yeah.

524
00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:46,468
And so I go and first okay me,

525
00:12:46,468 --> 00:12:48,088
you and my mom pull up, or no, you

526
00:12:48,088 --> 00:12:49,318
are maybe behind us or something.

527
00:12:49,318 --> 00:12:50,814
We pull up and I called the

528
00:12:50,814 --> 00:12:52,790
woman and she was like, I don't

529
00:12:52,790 --> 00:12:53,780
have any appointments today.

530
00:12:53,780 --> 00:12:55,443
And I'm like, yeah, you

531
00:12:55,443 --> 00:12:56,223
have an appointment.

532
00:12:56,223 --> 00:12:57,543
Like, we're outside.

533
00:12:57,793 --> 00:12:59,016
and she's like, Nope,

534
00:12:59,046 --> 00:12:59,886
I'm looking at the books.

535
00:12:59,886 --> 00:13:00,606
I don't have anything.

536
00:13:00,606 --> 00:13:01,476
She's like, can you come back?

537
00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:03,373
And I was like, well, my maid

538
00:13:03,373 --> 00:13:05,258
of honor and my mom or are here

539
00:13:05,293 --> 00:13:06,493
and they live an hour away.

540
00:13:06,493 --> 00:13:07,300
Like, we can't really

541
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:08,440
just reschedule today.

542
00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:09,776
And she's like, oh, okay, I'll,

543
00:13:09,776 --> 00:13:11,493
be there in like 30 minutes.

544
00:13:11,493 --> 00:13:13,083
Can you just go to the local coffee shop?

545
00:13:13,317 --> 00:13:14,413
Which ended up being really cool.

546
00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:15,763
That's a great experience.

547
00:13:15,943 --> 00:13:17,563
It was really great 'cause it was friends

548
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:19,363
theme and we're big fans of friends

549
00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:21,336
around here, so that was really cute.

550
00:13:21,613 --> 00:13:22,680
But we go back and she's

551
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:23,820
like, still not there.

552
00:13:24,077 --> 00:13:24,606
And then she like.

553
00:13:24,867 --> 00:13:26,647
Quickly comes around the front lets us in.

554
00:13:26,897 --> 00:13:28,050
No, she doesn't even let us in.

555
00:13:28,050 --> 00:13:29,550
I think we let ourselves in.

556
00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:31,047
She's in the back, doesn't

557
00:13:31,047 --> 00:13:32,547
even come out to say anything.

558
00:13:32,793 --> 00:13:33,597
And you can just like hear

559
00:13:33,597 --> 00:13:34,587
her back there and she's like,

560
00:13:34,587 --> 00:13:35,557
yeah, I'll, be out in a second.

561
00:13:35,557 --> 00:13:36,577
And I was like, okay.

562
00:13:36,812 --> 00:13:39,387
It was like another, what, 20 minutes?

563
00:13:39,447 --> 00:13:39,897
Yeah.

564
00:13:39,957 --> 00:13:41,697
We were waiting for a while.

565
00:13:41,847 --> 00:13:42,087
Yeah.

566
00:13:42,472 --> 00:13:43,922
she was a grandma, right?

567
00:13:44,045 --> 00:13:44,195
Mm-hmm.

568
00:13:44,255 --> 00:13:46,865
So she had, was it one grand baby or two?

569
00:13:46,895 --> 00:13:48,305
Just the one, I think one was there and

570
00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,908
she was like, toddler, she was a toddler.

571
00:13:51,078 --> 00:13:53,172
this woman is stressed out, sweating.

572
00:13:53,172 --> 00:13:55,628
I can hear like, like in the back,

573
00:13:55,628 --> 00:13:57,645
things falling down, being knocked over.

574
00:13:57,813 --> 00:13:58,508
I mean, I feel

575
00:13:58,718 --> 00:13:58,808
the

576
00:13:58,808 --> 00:14:00,428
tense, like tension?

577
00:14:00,670 --> 00:14:01,271
Yes.

578
00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:03,841
And the kid's like grandma or

579
00:14:03,841 --> 00:14:04,771
I don't even know what it was.

580
00:14:04,771 --> 00:14:06,061
And here I am like playing, I

581
00:14:06,061 --> 00:14:07,301
think, the little kid had like

582
00:14:07,331 --> 00:14:09,071
Easter eggs, like little eggs with

583
00:14:09,071 --> 00:14:10,421
like stuff in it or something.

584
00:14:10,421 --> 00:14:11,021
That's what I remember.

585
00:14:11,021 --> 00:14:11,291
Oh wow.

586
00:14:11,291 --> 00:14:12,161
I don't even remember that.

587
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,520
I was just trying to like, yeah, I don't

588
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,290
know, make the situation a little bit

589
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:18,900
better and entertain the kid, but yes.

590
00:14:18,930 --> 00:14:19,830
So keep going.

591
00:14:20,395 --> 00:14:22,995
So then she was like, what was your name?

592
00:14:23,171 --> 00:14:24,461
I was like, Krista.

593
00:14:24,461 --> 00:14:25,691
And like, she was like flipping through

594
00:14:25,691 --> 00:14:28,395
pages back there in this room in the back.

595
00:14:28,562 --> 00:14:29,508
And she's like, yeah,

596
00:14:29,538 --> 00:14:30,678
okay, we've got your dress.

597
00:14:30,678 --> 00:14:31,465
we'll get it on.

598
00:14:31,645 --> 00:14:33,045
And she comes rushing out

599
00:14:33,218 --> 00:14:35,005
and puts it in the room.

600
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:37,278
And I like go in there by myself.

601
00:14:37,278 --> 00:14:38,852
I like, shut the door or

602
00:14:38,852 --> 00:14:40,052
did I go in there by myself?

603
00:14:40,052 --> 00:14:40,922
No, I can't remember.

604
00:14:41,145 --> 00:14:41,912
And then I like slowly

605
00:14:41,912 --> 00:14:42,662
open it or something.

606
00:14:42,662 --> 00:14:44,012
And I was like, Eva, come here.

607
00:14:44,215 --> 00:14:44,932
And you're like, what?

608
00:14:45,095 --> 00:14:46,128
And like, so you and my mom

609
00:14:46,128 --> 00:14:47,798
came in and I was like, there's

610
00:14:47,798 --> 00:14:49,785
blood all over the dress.

611
00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:50,638
Mm-hmm.

612
00:14:50,745 --> 00:14:53,078
it wasn't just like a couple spots, it

613
00:14:53,078 --> 00:14:55,998
was all over, underneath the layers.

614
00:14:56,052 --> 00:14:57,918
Like a trail of everywhere she

615
00:14:57,918 --> 00:14:59,602
was touching, which is the whole.

616
00:14:59,602 --> 00:15:02,393
Dress, she was leaving blood everywhere.

617
00:15:02,492 --> 00:15:03,146
Yes.

618
00:15:03,328 --> 00:15:05,470
And I feel like she like overheard me

619
00:15:05,470 --> 00:15:07,150
say that and then like kind of came back

620
00:15:07,150 --> 00:15:08,560
and she's like, oh, it's just a spot.

621
00:15:08,762 --> 00:15:10,623
And then just quickly sprayed and wiped.

622
00:15:10,623 --> 00:15:12,840
And I was like, internally panicking

623
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,694
because like in that point of course,

624
00:15:14,717 --> 00:15:16,337
sure most things can come out, but it's

625
00:15:16,337 --> 00:15:18,137
just like a kind of a weird thing to be

626
00:15:18,137 --> 00:15:19,847
like there's someone else's blood on your

627
00:15:19,847 --> 00:15:21,497
dress when you're like here to try it on.

628
00:15:21,705 --> 00:15:21,841
Yeah.

629
00:15:22,664 --> 00:15:23,414
I think she was like

630
00:15:23,534 --> 00:15:24,811
panicked doing it fast.

631
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:25,964
Like really fast.

632
00:15:25,964 --> 00:15:26,054
Mm-hmm.

633
00:15:26,165 --> 00:15:27,907
And I was like, okay, you know what?

634
00:15:28,185 --> 00:15:29,587
They said something's gonna happen

635
00:15:29,587 --> 00:15:31,087
wrong during your wedding planning.

636
00:15:31,087 --> 00:15:32,671
And I said, this is the thing.

637
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:34,284
And I'm just glad it's

638
00:15:34,524 --> 00:15:36,144
my dress and it's early.

639
00:15:36,358 --> 00:15:38,374
And I think I was internally panicking,

640
00:15:38,374 --> 00:15:39,540
but I think at that point you kind

641
00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:40,590
of took the lead and you were just

642
00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:42,090
like, okay, what's going on here?

643
00:15:42,090 --> 00:15:42,522
Like mm-hmm.

644
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,074
And you were like, just, kind, but

645
00:15:44,074 --> 00:15:45,124
you were very like, firm with her.

646
00:15:45,124 --> 00:15:46,564
Like, okay, what are we doing here?

647
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,045
And she's like, I don't know.

648
00:15:48,045 --> 00:15:49,781
And then she held her hands up and her

649
00:15:49,781 --> 00:15:52,554
hands had cuts all over them, almost

650
00:15:52,554 --> 00:15:54,414
like she was just moving really fast.

651
00:15:54,779 --> 00:15:55,859
So I think what happened is she

652
00:15:55,859 --> 00:15:57,479
had me down for the wrong date.

653
00:15:57,704 --> 00:15:58,732
And then when I called and said I

654
00:15:58,732 --> 00:16:01,189
was outside, she panicked and was

655
00:16:01,189 --> 00:16:02,779
like, I have to do this right now.

656
00:16:02,779 --> 00:16:04,897
Which if she just said, I forgot,

657
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,414
I would've been like, don't worry.

658
00:16:06,686 --> 00:16:07,234
Yes.

659
00:16:07,264 --> 00:16:07,534
If we

660
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,587
would've known, like it wasn't just,

661
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:12,117
oh, I don't have, anything booked,

662
00:16:12,117 --> 00:16:13,654
but like, it's actually not done.

663
00:16:13,911 --> 00:16:16,551
even after that, you are so understanding.

664
00:16:16,604 --> 00:16:18,581
I was shocked.

665
00:16:18,796 --> 00:16:20,052
I saw everything happen.

666
00:16:20,052 --> 00:16:23,069
Like, okay, late stress is going up.

667
00:16:23,136 --> 00:16:23,646
she's.

668
00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:25,686
In the bath, you can feel the tension.

669
00:16:25,686 --> 00:16:26,916
Your stress level's going up.

670
00:16:26,916 --> 00:16:27,546
Oh my gosh.

671
00:16:27,576 --> 00:16:29,796
Your dress, your wedding dress is covered

672
00:16:29,796 --> 00:16:32,256
in blood stress is like up at the top.

673
00:16:32,503 --> 00:16:34,532
But then once I like talked

674
00:16:34,532 --> 00:16:36,649
to her, you talked to her.

675
00:16:36,866 --> 00:16:38,886
I think your mom too maybe.

676
00:16:38,886 --> 00:16:40,836
I can't really remember, but I feel like

677
00:16:40,836 --> 00:16:42,891
your stress level was going down and

678
00:16:42,891 --> 00:16:45,598
then I feel like at the end of it, did

679
00:16:45,598 --> 00:16:47,861
you hug her or is that my imagination?

680
00:16:48,734 --> 00:16:49,124
Yeah.

681
00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:50,009
So you hugged

682
00:16:50,024 --> 00:16:50,354
her?

683
00:16:50,474 --> 00:16:53,894
I could tell she was so like embarrassed

684
00:16:54,009 --> 00:16:54,939
cause I feel like there's people on

685
00:16:54,939 --> 00:16:56,469
the internet that like here, like, oh,

686
00:16:56,469 --> 00:16:57,849
you're an empath, blah, blah, blah.

687
00:16:58,071 --> 00:17:00,959
But like I can sense, and some

688
00:17:00,959 --> 00:17:02,009
people out there might agree, they

689
00:17:02,009 --> 00:17:03,299
might call me weird, whatever.

690
00:17:03,530 --> 00:17:04,849
But when there's tension or I can

691
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,643
tell someone's trying to hold in.

692
00:17:06,643 --> 00:17:08,703
Like if they're upset, I can sense it.

693
00:17:08,703 --> 00:17:10,623
I swear to God it's like a sixth sense.

694
00:17:11,336 --> 00:17:12,536
I just felt like I believe that.

695
00:17:12,566 --> 00:17:12,926
Yeah.

696
00:17:13,046 --> 00:17:15,176
So even when she got like the spots,

697
00:17:15,213 --> 00:17:16,533
she got most of the spots out.

698
00:17:16,533 --> 00:17:17,438
She was spraying it and then

699
00:17:17,443 --> 00:17:18,802
I finally tried it on, right?

700
00:17:19,060 --> 00:17:20,325
So I'm staying in the mirror and

701
00:17:20,325 --> 00:17:21,315
she's doing her normal thing.

702
00:17:21,315 --> 00:17:22,095
But you can tell like

703
00:17:22,095 --> 00:17:23,710
she's holding back tears.

704
00:17:23,715 --> 00:17:25,520
Like I could tell and this

705
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,325
poor woman, like you could tell

706
00:17:27,325 --> 00:17:28,435
she does not do this normally.

707
00:17:28,435 --> 00:17:29,415
She kept saying, I've

708
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:30,165
never done this before.

709
00:17:30,165 --> 00:17:31,215
I've been in business for this

710
00:17:31,215 --> 00:17:32,115
long, I've never done this before.

711
00:17:32,115 --> 00:17:32,775
I'm so sorry.

712
00:17:32,835 --> 00:17:33,795
Kept saying sorry.

713
00:17:34,043 --> 00:17:35,295
And like, we've all been in shitty

714
00:17:35,295 --> 00:17:36,525
positions where like we either

715
00:17:36,525 --> 00:17:38,775
forget something or we mess up

716
00:17:38,775 --> 00:17:40,215
something, we're late to something.

717
00:17:40,368 --> 00:17:41,508
we've all done that.

718
00:17:41,508 --> 00:17:43,485
And so like I could tell even when she was

719
00:17:43,510 --> 00:17:44,835
looking at the dress and I was standing on

720
00:17:44,835 --> 00:17:46,305
the podium or whatever, whatever you wanna

721
00:17:46,305 --> 00:17:48,522
call it, she was like holding back tears.

722
00:17:48,522 --> 00:17:50,232
And I think she felt so embarrassed.

723
00:17:50,398 --> 00:17:51,452
And so then when we were booking the

724
00:17:51,452 --> 00:17:53,132
next appointment, she was like shaking.

725
00:17:53,132 --> 00:17:54,512
I remember seeing her hand shake

726
00:17:54,542 --> 00:17:55,592
'cause she was so embarrassed.

727
00:17:55,829 --> 00:17:57,778
And I go, Hey, it's okay.

728
00:17:58,032 --> 00:17:59,063
I was like, it's fine.

729
00:17:59,343 --> 00:18:00,008
we are good.

730
00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:01,178
You did a great job.

731
00:18:01,409 --> 00:18:02,874
And I was like, can I hug you?

732
00:18:02,904 --> 00:18:04,609
And I was like, I remember that.

733
00:18:04,846 --> 00:18:05,458
I don't even know what she

734
00:18:05,458 --> 00:18:06,874
said, I was like teary-eyed

735
00:18:06,971 --> 00:18:08,383
I feel like the tears coming right

736
00:18:08,383 --> 00:18:10,923
now because no bride does that.

737
00:18:10,973 --> 00:18:13,113
just says so much about your character

738
00:18:13,113 --> 00:18:15,586
and not to like, whatever, kiss your butt.

739
00:18:15,586 --> 00:18:17,323
But no, seriously, like.

740
00:18:17,493 --> 00:18:19,014
It's your wedding dress.

741
00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:20,874
Every little girl dreams about getting

742
00:18:20,874 --> 00:18:22,584
married and like having the perfect

743
00:18:22,584 --> 00:18:24,854
dress and you have a situation and at

744
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,906
the end of it, instead of, taking your

745
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,346
dress, going somewhere else, you're

746
00:18:28,346 --> 00:18:29,669
being like, I better get this for free.

747
00:18:29,739 --> 00:18:30,429
none of that.

748
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,742
It was, Hey, you did a great job.

749
00:18:32,772 --> 00:18:34,422
And I remember you asked her

750
00:18:34,422 --> 00:18:36,696
for a hug and she was like, yes.

751
00:18:36,696 --> 00:18:38,249
And I saw you guys hugging and I

752
00:18:38,249 --> 00:18:39,869
remember looking at your mom and we

753
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:42,552
were both like, just so moved by that.

754
00:18:42,552 --> 00:18:44,442
And it was just so sweet to

755
00:18:44,442 --> 00:18:46,952
see  and yeah, such a good story.

756
00:18:46,952 --> 00:18:48,242
And when we left, there was

757
00:18:48,242 --> 00:18:49,532
still blood on the dress.

758
00:18:49,532 --> 00:18:51,051
Like you said that she cleaned it all up.

759
00:18:51,106 --> 00:18:52,066
She didn't get it all off.

760
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:53,497
there was still blood on the dress.

761
00:18:53,497 --> 00:18:54,277
Do you remember that?

762
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:55,627
A lot of spots, I think.

763
00:18:55,627 --> 00:18:55,927
Yes.

764
00:18:56,287 --> 00:18:57,877
Yeah, I think 'cause I was just like.

765
00:18:58,106 --> 00:18:59,434
Why, and I don't know where

766
00:18:59,434 --> 00:19:00,394
this comes from, but I'm like,

767
00:19:00,394 --> 00:19:02,854
why make someone feel worse?

768
00:19:03,044 --> 00:19:05,097
she probably feels terrible right now

769
00:19:05,097 --> 00:19:07,387
that she like messed up or forgot or,

770
00:19:07,387 --> 00:19:09,341
you know, she's so embarrassed because I

771
00:19:09,431 --> 00:19:11,411
read these stories with these bridezillas

772
00:19:11,639 --> 00:19:14,161
and honestly, most stories that get

773
00:19:14,161 --> 00:19:15,841
sent to me aren't bridezilla stories.

774
00:19:15,841 --> 00:19:16,591
They're mostly like

775
00:19:16,591 --> 00:19:17,911
family related, whatever.

776
00:19:18,077 --> 00:19:19,517
but you read them and you're like,

777
00:19:19,747 --> 00:19:21,801
why make someone feel bad for like

778
00:19:21,801 --> 00:19:24,219
a mistake or an accident or I've

779
00:19:24,219 --> 00:19:25,299
worked in the restaurant industry,

780
00:19:25,299 --> 00:19:26,499
I know you have two and it's like

781
00:19:26,529 --> 00:19:27,609
you've seed stuff like that too.

782
00:19:27,609 --> 00:19:28,869
People are terrible to people

783
00:19:28,869 --> 00:19:29,949
in the service industry.

784
00:19:29,949 --> 00:19:31,702
People are terrible to anyone

785
00:19:31,702 --> 00:19:33,112
that's just trying to help them out.

786
00:19:33,112 --> 00:19:35,772
And I'm like, I would feel awful

787
00:19:35,972 --> 00:19:37,314
leaving knowing that she was

788
00:19:37,446 --> 00:19:39,126
crying because of that situation.

789
00:19:39,126 --> 00:19:40,086
I want her to be like, no.

790
00:19:40,332 --> 00:19:41,602
I'm still your customer.

791
00:19:41,829 --> 00:19:42,539
you're busy.

792
00:19:42,622 --> 00:19:43,949
You do a great job.

793
00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:45,286
I obviously came to you because

794
00:19:45,286 --> 00:19:46,636
you were recommended by me.

795
00:19:46,862 --> 00:19:47,642
I'm not gonna leave like

796
00:19:47,642 --> 00:19:48,902
a bad review or anything.

797
00:19:49,069 --> 00:19:50,781
The dress ended up looking gorgeous.

798
00:19:50,781 --> 00:19:52,266
Like, I loved that dress.

799
00:19:52,266 --> 00:19:53,076
I still love it.

800
00:19:53,342 --> 00:19:54,989
there's so many heightened emotions

801
00:19:54,989 --> 00:19:56,489
around weddings and I feel like

802
00:19:56,719 --> 00:19:58,366
it's so easy to lose your cool.

803
00:19:58,366 --> 00:20:00,106
Of course, like you hear about it all

804
00:20:00,106 --> 00:20:01,826
the time, but you to remember like the

805
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,536
people you're working with are human too.

806
00:20:03,686 --> 00:20:04,819
Like they're allowed to make this.

807
00:20:05,526 --> 00:20:06,806
Yeah, absolutely.

808
00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:07,412
Yeah.

809
00:20:07,622 --> 00:20:08,402
I'll never forget it.

810
00:20:08,432 --> 00:20:09,392
Yeah, I knew, I was

811
00:20:09,392 --> 00:20:10,472
like, no, she hugged her.

812
00:20:10,532 --> 00:20:12,429
I remember she asked for a hug,

813
00:20:12,719 --> 00:20:14,396
and honestly, that's kind of, I

814
00:20:14,396 --> 00:20:15,656
shouldn't say out of my character to

815
00:20:15,656 --> 00:20:17,826
ask someone for a hug, like a stranger.

816
00:20:17,826 --> 00:20:18,666
I know Something came over

817
00:20:18,666 --> 00:20:19,916
me and I was just like, she

818
00:20:19,916 --> 00:20:21,416
really needs a hug right now.

819
00:20:21,612 --> 00:20:22,676
And I just felt, 'cause I just, I

820
00:20:22,676 --> 00:20:23,996
remember just seeing her handshake

821
00:20:23,996 --> 00:20:25,226
as she was like writing the next

822
00:20:25,226 --> 00:20:27,002
appointment and I go, Hey, it's okay.

823
00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:27,891
We're fine.

824
00:20:27,896 --> 00:20:28,641
Yeah, yeah.

825
00:20:28,641 --> 00:20:29,781
Wedding day will be great.

826
00:20:29,781 --> 00:20:30,494
Like, honestly.

827
00:20:30,494 --> 00:20:31,754
And she was like so sweet and

828
00:20:31,754 --> 00:20:32,984
she was like, send me pictures

829
00:20:32,984 --> 00:20:35,316
of the dress and, all that.

830
00:20:35,579 --> 00:20:36,479
yeah, I don't know.

831
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:37,829
I just, she probably went home that

832
00:20:37,829 --> 00:20:39,929
day to like tell her family and then

833
00:20:40,071 --> 00:20:41,836
she probably said how great you were.

834
00:20:41,926 --> 00:20:43,226
And like, I can't believe it.

835
00:20:43,226 --> 00:20:45,854
She hugged me at the end, I felt so bad.

836
00:20:45,854 --> 00:20:47,071
And, thank God she was a good

837
00:20:47,071 --> 00:20:48,961
bride, like a sweet person.

838
00:20:49,294 --> 00:20:49,694
yeah,

839
00:20:50,084 --> 00:20:50,684
I don't know.

840
00:20:51,024 --> 00:20:51,617
she was great.

841
00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:53,377
and then I recommended, I feel like

842
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,147
there's a few groomsmen in her wedding

843
00:20:55,147 --> 00:20:57,811
that went to her and Bridesmaids.

844
00:20:57,841 --> 00:20:59,264
'cause I was like, go to her.

845
00:20:59,264 --> 00:20:59,834
She's great.

846
00:20:59,834 --> 00:21:01,454
She's local for some of us

847
00:21:01,454 --> 00:21:02,984
and yeah, she was awesome.

848
00:21:03,224 --> 00:21:04,311
Yeah, like you said, she was a

849
00:21:04,311 --> 00:21:05,631
grandmother, so she's very grandmother

850
00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:07,041
like, motherly, like very sweet.

851
00:21:07,041 --> 00:21:07,431
Like that.

852
00:21:07,431 --> 00:21:08,931
And I was like, I'm not about to

853
00:21:08,931 --> 00:21:10,851
make someone feel bad for that.

854
00:21:10,851 --> 00:21:11,121
Yeah.

855
00:21:11,181 --> 00:21:11,691
It's crazy.

856
00:21:11,691 --> 00:21:12,741
I've like really never talked

857
00:21:12,741 --> 00:21:13,791
about it just 'cause like.

858
00:21:14,036 --> 00:21:15,866
I never would want it to get back to her

859
00:21:15,866 --> 00:21:17,996
like I was like talking about a mistake.

860
00:21:18,297 --> 00:21:18,626
Mm-hmm.

861
00:21:18,980 --> 00:21:19,866
But obviously I'm not gonna say

862
00:21:19,866 --> 00:21:20,976
the name or anything, but that.

863
00:21:21,006 --> 00:21:21,966
She was amazing

864
00:21:22,202 --> 00:21:22,562
Yeah.

865
00:21:22,643 --> 00:21:23,120
I remember that.

866
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:23,735
Mm-hmm.

867
00:21:31,109 --> 00:21:31,477
Okay.

868
00:21:31,477 --> 00:21:34,237
Would you rather relive wedding planning

869
00:21:34,237 --> 00:21:36,307
with your current emotional tools?

870
00:21:36,307 --> 00:21:37,447
Or do it all again with

871
00:21:37,447 --> 00:21:39,007
zero coping skills?

872
00:21:39,759 --> 00:21:41,017
These are so wild.

873
00:21:41,330 --> 00:21:41,720
No.

874
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:42,200
Why?

875
00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:42,860
Yeah.

876
00:21:42,980 --> 00:21:43,940
Do it now.

877
00:21:44,030 --> 00:21:45,860
I would do things so differently now.

878
00:21:45,950 --> 00:21:46,850
What would you do different?

879
00:21:47,147 --> 00:21:49,585
I try to set myself up for like

880
00:21:49,675 --> 00:21:52,925
successful marriage, but a part of me.

881
00:21:53,135 --> 00:21:55,201
I feel like I did like 80% of the

882
00:21:55,201 --> 00:21:56,881
things that I wanted, but I feel like I

883
00:21:56,881 --> 00:21:58,968
could have fought a little bit harder,

884
00:21:58,968 --> 00:22:00,438
like stood my ground on like, the

885
00:22:00,438 --> 00:22:03,178
20% of the things that I really was

886
00:22:03,178 --> 00:22:04,591
like, I need to make sure I do this.

887
00:22:04,591 --> 00:22:06,541
Like, I wish I would've incorporated,

888
00:22:06,808 --> 00:22:10,138
more like family in our ceremony.

889
00:22:10,418 --> 00:22:13,438
or, like more, cultural traditions,

890
00:22:13,438 --> 00:22:14,638
although I did have those kind of

891
00:22:14,638 --> 00:22:16,588
elements, but even more of that and

892
00:22:16,588 --> 00:22:19,074
like embraced it and took pride in it.

893
00:22:19,331 --> 00:22:21,141
but it's all like a growth process.

894
00:22:21,141 --> 00:22:22,241
Like you're growing, right?

895
00:22:22,241 --> 00:22:24,101
You get married at some people,

896
00:22:24,101 --> 00:22:25,721
20 some people, thirties, but

897
00:22:25,922 --> 00:22:26,882
you're gonna be different in

898
00:22:26,882 --> 00:22:28,352
your twenties from your thirties.

899
00:22:28,352 --> 00:22:29,429
So yeah.

900
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:30,509
Great.

901
00:22:30,569 --> 00:22:31,199
Obviously.

902
00:22:31,453 --> 00:22:32,629
Yeah, I think about that

903
00:22:32,629 --> 00:22:33,199
too every once in a while.

904
00:22:33,199 --> 00:22:34,159
Like, what would I change?

905
00:22:34,851 --> 00:22:36,909
Honestly, I think most everything

906
00:22:37,175 --> 00:22:39,005
I'm still pretty happy with,

907
00:22:39,005 --> 00:22:41,125
but I feel like I was really.

908
00:22:41,430 --> 00:22:42,880
Not concerned is the wrong word,

909
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:44,200
but with like the guest lists and

910
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,747
stuff, like where I made cuts, I'm

911
00:22:46,747 --> 00:22:48,247
proud of how we were with some of it.

912
00:22:48,277 --> 00:22:49,687
'cause I'm like, oh, if Zach and I had

913
00:22:49,687 --> 00:22:51,247
gotten married, like when we first started

914
00:22:51,247 --> 00:22:53,631
dating, let's say 23, 24, it would've

915
00:22:53,631 --> 00:22:55,581
been a completely different guest list.

916
00:22:55,765 --> 00:22:56,994
I think way bigger.

917
00:22:57,256 --> 00:22:58,636
I was gonna say your guest

918
00:22:58,696 --> 00:23:00,196
list would've been huge.

919
00:23:00,286 --> 00:23:00,886
Yeah.

920
00:23:00,946 --> 00:23:02,116
I just feel like, 'cause at that point

921
00:23:02,116 --> 00:23:03,856
it's like everyone's your best friend.

922
00:23:03,856 --> 00:23:05,116
I feel like wedding party

923
00:23:05,116 --> 00:23:06,316
would've been way different.

924
00:23:06,316 --> 00:23:09,309
I feel like more of a yes girl.

925
00:23:09,523 --> 00:23:11,134
okay, yeah, yeah, let's do that.

926
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:13,564
We probably would've had a, rely more on

927
00:23:13,594 --> 00:23:16,174
parents for help or for, different things.

928
00:23:16,386 --> 00:23:17,714
And I just feel like that

929
00:23:17,714 --> 00:23:18,704
changes as you get older.

930
00:23:18,704 --> 00:23:19,454
If you're like, you've been

931
00:23:19,454 --> 00:23:20,384
to more weddings, so you're

932
00:23:20,384 --> 00:23:21,494
like, okay, I like that.

933
00:23:21,494 --> 00:23:22,424
I don't like that.

934
00:23:22,649 --> 00:23:23,624
This is my style.

935
00:23:23,624 --> 00:23:25,950
That's not, but there were still

936
00:23:25,950 --> 00:23:27,480
outside of that, there were still like

937
00:23:27,660 --> 00:23:29,040
people that we invited and then we

938
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,960
were like, never talk to them again.

939
00:23:31,209 --> 00:23:31,400
Yeah.

940
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:31,815
And we were like.

941
00:23:32,582 --> 00:23:33,512
Just, we invited them 'cause they

942
00:23:33,512 --> 00:23:35,132
were like friends of a friend.

943
00:23:35,428 --> 00:23:36,946
And then looking back, so I was

944
00:23:36,946 --> 00:23:38,686
like really strict with like,

945
00:23:38,861 --> 00:23:40,266
other than our nieces and nephews,

946
00:23:40,266 --> 00:23:42,823
I didn't invite anyone under 21.

947
00:23:43,101 --> 00:23:44,346
And I had some cousins that

948
00:23:44,346 --> 00:23:46,403
were like middle teens.

949
00:23:46,617 --> 00:23:46,693
Mm-hmm.

950
00:23:46,933 --> 00:23:47,293
And I'm like, I wish I

951
00:23:47,293 --> 00:23:48,193
would've invited them.

952
00:23:48,223 --> 00:23:49,123
I don't know if a lot of them

953
00:23:49,123 --> 00:23:50,143
would've come 'cause they, like,

954
00:23:50,233 --> 00:23:51,613
they would've had a fly and stuff.

955
00:23:51,896 --> 00:23:52,296
Yeah.

956
00:23:52,356 --> 00:23:53,879
But I'm just like, I kind of wish

957
00:23:53,879 --> 00:23:55,679
I invited like all my cousins.

958
00:23:55,936 --> 00:23:56,363
Sure.

959
00:23:56,573 --> 00:23:57,323
That makes sense to

960
00:23:57,323 --> 00:23:57,593
me.

961
00:23:57,842 --> 00:23:59,186
Again, like yeah.

962
00:23:59,216 --> 00:24:00,446
Different, if they lived all here,

963
00:24:00,446 --> 00:24:01,969
I then, they would've all come, but

964
00:24:02,199 --> 00:24:02,386
Yeah.

965
00:24:02,386 --> 00:24:04,366
I definitely wish I would've had more

966
00:24:04,366 --> 00:24:06,976
of like my cousins in our wedding party.

967
00:24:07,199 --> 00:24:09,066
I have a little brother who's way

968
00:24:09,066 --> 00:24:11,193
younger than me, but all of Matt's

969
00:24:11,193 --> 00:24:13,443
siblings, they were in the wedding party.

970
00:24:13,443 --> 00:24:15,219
But I grew up with my cousins

971
00:24:15,219 --> 00:24:16,359
who were like my siblings.

972
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:19,047
So had one of my cousins in there,

973
00:24:19,047 --> 00:24:20,427
but I wish I would've had the

974
00:24:20,427 --> 00:24:21,837
other three siblings 'cause they're

975
00:24:21,837 --> 00:24:22,931
like my brothers and sisters.

976
00:24:22,931 --> 00:24:23,921
And that's something that

977
00:24:24,180 --> 00:24:25,098
I'm always like, Ugh.

978
00:24:25,148 --> 00:24:27,291
I asked actually my cousin last

979
00:24:27,291 --> 00:24:28,401
minute, I was like, please.

980
00:24:28,401 --> 00:24:29,061
He's like, okay, what

981
00:24:29,061 --> 00:24:30,411
do I need to bring Eva?

982
00:24:30,511 --> 00:24:31,475
what do I have to wear to

983
00:24:31,475 --> 00:24:32,875
match your bridal party?

984
00:24:32,875 --> 00:24:34,528
And so we made it work, but I

985
00:24:34,528 --> 00:24:35,338
wish I would've done it like

986
00:24:35,338 --> 00:24:36,658
the right way from the beginning

987
00:24:36,658 --> 00:24:38,068
so that they felt like special.

988
00:24:38,249 --> 00:24:38,758
Yeah.

989
00:24:38,999 --> 00:24:39,359
Yeah.

990
00:24:39,374 --> 00:24:40,769
How does it's like relationships

991
00:24:40,769 --> 00:24:43,476
change or you visualize it a certain

992
00:24:43,476 --> 00:24:45,208
way or, I feel like we get this idea

993
00:24:45,208 --> 00:24:46,408
in our head and then we're like,

994
00:24:46,618 --> 00:24:48,028
why am I making it such a big deal?

995
00:24:48,135 --> 00:24:50,011
just come in the wedding or, yeah.

996
00:24:50,011 --> 00:24:51,950
It's like, I totally agree with that.

997
00:24:52,177 --> 00:24:53,843
I think too, like, we had our nieces and

998
00:24:53,843 --> 00:24:55,813
nephews in the wedding and I'm like, our

999
00:24:55,813 --> 00:24:58,453
one niece that I think at the time was 13.

1000
00:24:58,687 --> 00:24:59,647
I wish I would've like.

1001
00:24:59,916 --> 00:25:01,857
Had her stand the whole time like,

1002
00:25:01,857 --> 00:25:03,147
with all the bridesmaids and done

1003
00:25:03,147 --> 00:25:04,467
something special like for her.

1004
00:25:04,693 --> 00:25:05,807
And then I wish our nephews

1005
00:25:05,807 --> 00:25:07,517
that weren't in the wedding had

1006
00:25:07,517 --> 00:25:09,137
a special role or something.

1007
00:25:09,347 --> 00:25:09,515
Yeah.

1008
00:25:09,995 --> 00:25:11,786
yeah, I think it's interesting, but

1009
00:25:12,020 --> 00:25:13,056
we always think about those things.

1010
00:25:13,106 --> 00:25:14,486
I think too, it probably changes

1011
00:25:14,486 --> 00:25:16,729
out that we're moms and like family.

1012
00:25:16,819 --> 00:25:17,569
You know what I mean?

1013
00:25:17,710 --> 00:25:18,046
Yeah.

1014
00:25:18,046 --> 00:25:18,227
Like family.

1015
00:25:18,581 --> 00:25:18,941
I dunno.

1016
00:25:18,976 --> 00:25:19,246
Yeah.

1017
00:25:19,246 --> 00:25:20,446
Maybe that's it too.

1018
00:25:20,572 --> 00:25:23,376
I still am very like firm on, ' cause

1019
00:25:23,376 --> 00:25:24,846
this is one of those most controversial

1020
00:25:24,846 --> 00:25:26,196
things, and this is a hot take.

1021
00:25:26,442 --> 00:25:27,991
I shouldn't say a hot take from my end,

1022
00:25:27,991 --> 00:25:30,411
but like what people, anytime I post

1023
00:25:30,411 --> 00:25:32,451
a video about kids at weddings mm-hmm.

1024
00:25:32,751 --> 00:25:35,121
It's so like controversial.

1025
00:25:35,121 --> 00:25:35,211
Mm-hmm.

1026
00:25:35,409 --> 00:25:36,804
There are people that say it's

1027
00:25:36,804 --> 00:25:38,274
not a wedding if kids are not

1028
00:25:38,274 --> 00:25:39,761
invited and there's people saying,

1029
00:25:39,978 --> 00:25:42,034
don't invite your kids or don't.

1030
00:25:42,252 --> 00:25:43,629
Bring your kids to my wedding

1031
00:25:43,659 --> 00:25:44,889
because I don't want them there.

1032
00:25:44,889 --> 00:25:45,099
You know?

1033
00:25:45,099 --> 00:25:46,509
So they're just like polar opposites.

1034
00:25:46,758 --> 00:25:48,556
I've been to weddings with no kids.

1035
00:25:48,762 --> 00:25:49,266
They've been fun.

1036
00:25:49,266 --> 00:25:50,466
I've been to weddings with tons

1037
00:25:50,466 --> 00:25:51,666
of kids and they've been fun.

1038
00:25:52,103 --> 00:25:52,193
Sure.

1039
00:25:52,253 --> 00:25:53,753
Neither of them are going to affect,

1040
00:25:53,963 --> 00:25:55,253
I feel like how the wedding is.

1041
00:25:55,313 --> 00:25:56,453
It's just like if the bride and

1042
00:25:56,453 --> 00:25:58,756
groom want them there, but I stand

1043
00:25:58,756 --> 00:26:02,906
is you don't need your bosses kids

1044
00:26:02,906 --> 00:26:04,915
there that you've never Right.

1045
00:26:05,198 --> 00:26:06,902
But if it's kids that are like in your

1046
00:26:06,902 --> 00:26:08,372
life and they're important to you, then

1047
00:26:08,372 --> 00:26:09,842
yeah, I feel like they should be there.

1048
00:26:10,082 --> 00:26:10,622
I feel like it should

1049
00:26:10,622 --> 00:26:11,552
be a relationship thing.

1050
00:26:11,552 --> 00:26:12,212
That's where I'm at.

1051
00:26:12,319 --> 00:26:13,799
' cause some people are like, well if their

1052
00:26:13,799 --> 00:26:14,999
kids are there, then mine should be there.

1053
00:26:14,999 --> 00:26:15,479
And it's like, well,

1054
00:26:15,479 --> 00:26:16,499
do they know your kids?

1055
00:26:16,703 --> 00:26:18,122
Have you brought them around?

1056
00:26:18,246 --> 00:26:19,392
Just because there are some

1057
00:26:19,392 --> 00:26:20,382
kids there doesn't mean that

1058
00:26:20,472 --> 00:26:21,852
everyone's kids should be there.

1059
00:26:22,069 --> 00:26:22,399
Yeah.

1060
00:26:22,562 --> 00:26:23,312
I get that.

1061
00:26:23,372 --> 00:26:23,882
Yeah.

1062
00:26:24,122 --> 00:26:25,865
That's my 2 cents on that, so.

1063
00:26:26,172 --> 00:26:26,502
Oh, yeah.

1064
00:26:26,532 --> 00:26:27,762
I agree a hundred percent.

1065
00:26:27,882 --> 00:26:28,032
Mm-hmm.

1066
00:26:28,332 --> 00:26:28,542
Yeah.

1067
00:26:28,789 --> 00:26:30,152
But I like, remember when my sister got

1068
00:26:30,152 --> 00:26:32,892
married, she didn't invite any kids,

1069
00:26:32,892 --> 00:26:34,752
so no one, like under 18, I think.

1070
00:26:34,979 --> 00:26:37,174
And there were like certain family members

1071
00:26:37,264 --> 00:26:40,354
that like, called my grandma, not even

1072
00:26:40,354 --> 00:26:42,094
like my mom, but called like my grandma.

1073
00:26:42,094 --> 00:26:43,564
And we're like, why aren't kids invited?

1074
00:26:43,564 --> 00:26:44,824
and we're talking like distant

1075
00:26:44,824 --> 00:26:46,131
family members, we're talking

1076
00:26:46,131 --> 00:26:48,261
like my mom's cousin mm-hmm.

1077
00:26:48,501 --> 00:26:49,191
Talking about their kids

1078
00:26:49,191 --> 00:26:50,511
who like, we barely saw.

1079
00:26:50,511 --> 00:26:50,811
Right.

1080
00:26:50,998 --> 00:26:51,804
And they were like, well, when

1081
00:26:51,804 --> 00:26:52,811
are the kids getting invited?

1082
00:26:52,811 --> 00:26:53,948
And we're like, when's the last

1083
00:26:53,948 --> 00:26:55,568
time they like talked to my sister?

1084
00:26:55,568 --> 00:26:56,481
You things like that were

1085
00:26:56,481 --> 00:26:58,198
kind of weird, but, yeah.

1086
00:26:58,436 --> 00:26:58,924
I don't know.

1087
00:26:59,203 --> 00:27:00,691
It's interesting how people,

1088
00:27:01,126 --> 00:27:02,986
yeah, you just gotta respect what

1089
00:27:02,986 --> 00:27:04,276
the brain groom want, I guess.

1090
00:27:04,396 --> 00:27:04,666
Mm-hmm.

1091
00:27:05,146 --> 00:27:05,429
Okay.

1092
00:27:05,716 --> 00:27:07,596
Before we get too far into this,

1093
00:27:07,596 --> 00:27:09,173
let me read, don't worry, this,

1094
00:27:09,253 --> 00:27:11,083
story is not as long as last ones.

1095
00:27:11,083 --> 00:27:12,733
I know Last time our story

1096
00:27:12,733 --> 00:27:15,373
was so long, so, so long.

1097
00:27:15,626 --> 00:27:16,089
Here we go.

1098
00:27:16,367 --> 00:27:17,466
We almost, it was so long.

1099
00:27:17,466 --> 00:27:18,726
You're like, should we stop now

1100
00:27:18,726 --> 00:27:19,866
and record the other half later?

1101
00:27:20,376 --> 00:27:22,056
No, I was like, do we need a part two?

1102
00:27:22,297 --> 00:27:23,073
Because so much happened.

1103
00:27:23,073 --> 00:27:24,573
That was with that one.

1104
00:27:24,820 --> 00:27:25,150
Oh gosh.

1105
00:27:25,150 --> 00:27:26,050
If you guys haven't listened all

1106
00:27:26,050 --> 00:27:27,190
last episode with Eva, I don't

1107
00:27:27,190 --> 00:27:28,510
even remember what number it was.

1108
00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:29,480
I should look it up.

1109
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,750
But it was the craziest story.

1110
00:27:32,991 --> 00:27:34,680
it was like about a wedding influencer.

1111
00:27:34,923 --> 00:27:35,163
Mm-hmm.

1112
00:27:35,553 --> 00:27:37,419
And it was like she was using

1113
00:27:37,419 --> 00:27:39,159
everything for her content.

1114
00:27:39,414 --> 00:27:39,634
Yes.

1115
00:27:40,196 --> 00:27:40,524
Mm-hmm.

1116
00:27:40,864 --> 00:27:41,084
Yes.

1117
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,142
That was an insane story.

1118
00:27:43,142 --> 00:27:46,022
So guys, go back and listen to episode 12.

1119
00:27:46,052 --> 00:27:46,832
If you haven't.

1120
00:27:47,084 --> 00:27:47,870
cause it's wild.

1121
00:27:48,067 --> 00:27:48,434
Okay.

1122
00:27:48,494 --> 00:27:50,287
This week's story, this is about

1123
00:27:50,287 --> 00:27:52,687
my sister, the bride, and how

1124
00:27:52,687 --> 00:27:55,424
one joke she made and did with

1125
00:27:55,424 --> 00:27:57,434
me not showing up to her wedding.

1126
00:27:57,724 --> 00:28:00,544
Ooh, ooh, this is getting spicy.

1127
00:28:00,604 --> 00:28:01,084
Okay.

1128
00:28:01,367 --> 00:28:03,864
I've never heard it from this perspective.

1129
00:28:03,864 --> 00:28:05,064
It's always interesting hearing from a

1130
00:28:05,064 --> 00:28:07,110
different perspective because, so many

1131
00:28:07,110 --> 00:28:08,850
times I post stories and people are like,

1132
00:28:09,057 --> 00:28:10,700
you're only getting one side of things.

1133
00:28:10,700 --> 00:28:11,300
I'm like, yeah, well, it's

1134
00:28:11,300 --> 00:28:12,530
usually how stories work, right?

1135
00:28:12,530 --> 00:28:13,820
You only get one side.

1136
00:28:13,820 --> 00:28:15,269
So I just have to take what I can.

1137
00:28:15,515 --> 00:28:16,336
So it's interesting to kind

1138
00:28:16,336 --> 00:28:17,686
of hear from another person.

1139
00:28:17,936 --> 00:28:19,192
Honestly, I've gone back and forth

1140
00:28:19,192 --> 00:28:21,186
about whether to even share this,

1141
00:28:21,408 --> 00:28:22,833
but I've been sitting heavy on it.

1142
00:28:23,061 --> 00:28:24,178
And I just need to get it out.

1143
00:28:24,418 --> 00:28:25,068
I've been dealing with

1144
00:28:25,068 --> 00:28:26,908
depression for years, a therapy

1145
00:28:26,908 --> 00:28:28,728
meds, good days and bad days.

1146
00:28:28,818 --> 00:28:30,514
The whole thing my family knows,

1147
00:28:30,514 --> 00:28:32,531
especially my parents, but I don't

1148
00:28:32,531 --> 00:28:33,851
really talk about it too much.

1149
00:28:33,881 --> 00:28:34,751
It's just a lot.

1150
00:28:34,974 --> 00:28:36,444
Anyway, my older sister

1151
00:28:36,444 --> 00:28:37,464
got married recently.

1152
00:28:37,651 --> 00:28:39,114
She's always been the golden child,

1153
00:28:39,204 --> 00:28:41,658
super loud, super confident, always

1154
00:28:41,658 --> 00:28:43,728
the fun one at family gatherings.

1155
00:28:43,954 --> 00:28:44,671
I've always been more

1156
00:28:44,671 --> 00:28:45,961
low key, kind of quiet.

1157
00:28:46,171 --> 00:28:47,288
She doesn't really understand

1158
00:28:47,288 --> 00:28:48,218
mental health stuff.

1159
00:28:48,248 --> 00:28:49,778
Never really tried to, but I

1160
00:28:49,778 --> 00:28:51,338
didn't expect her to be cruel.

1161
00:28:51,574 --> 00:28:53,498
A few weeks before the wedding, we had

1162
00:28:53,498 --> 00:28:55,538
the rehearsal dinner at a restaurant.

1163
00:28:55,738 --> 00:28:56,501
Why is the rehearsals

1164
00:28:56,501 --> 00:28:58,198
dinner a few weeks before?

1165
00:28:58,258 --> 00:28:59,268
That's interesting to me.

1166
00:29:00,724 --> 00:29:04,291
Or the week of, just close friends,

1167
00:29:04,291 --> 00:29:06,301
family and her fiance's family.

1168
00:29:06,567 --> 00:29:08,751
She got out to do a test run of her

1169
00:29:08,751 --> 00:29:10,881
thank you speech, trying to be funny.

1170
00:29:11,204 --> 00:29:11,654
I don't know.

1171
00:29:11,895 --> 00:29:12,918
Then she said this.

1172
00:29:13,205 --> 00:29:14,721
Huge thanks to my sister

1173
00:29:14,721 --> 00:29:15,861
for showing up tonight.

1174
00:29:16,088 --> 00:29:17,174
We were starting to think they'd

1175
00:29:17,174 --> 00:29:19,694
never crawl out of their sad little

1176
00:29:19,694 --> 00:29:22,764
dungeon depression Boss level.

1177
00:29:22,794 --> 00:29:24,234
Finally defeated.

1178
00:29:24,503 --> 00:29:25,461
What?

1179
00:29:25,713 --> 00:29:27,191
No.

1180
00:29:27,694 --> 00:29:28,580
What?

1181
00:29:28,870 --> 00:29:29,108
No.

1182
00:29:29,558 --> 00:29:32,138
That is terrible.

1183
00:29:32,427 --> 00:29:32,641
Yeah.

1184
00:29:32,641 --> 00:29:34,351
That's so many different.

1185
00:29:34,501 --> 00:29:35,821
That's so bad.

1186
00:29:35,821 --> 00:29:37,818
They dungeon  depression.

1187
00:29:39,256 --> 00:29:39,546
Yeah.

1188
00:29:40,091 --> 00:29:41,441
so she's basically calling

1189
00:29:41,441 --> 00:29:43,151
you out in front of everybody.

1190
00:29:43,206 --> 00:29:43,476
Mm-hmm.

1191
00:29:43,806 --> 00:29:44,916
And especially the fact that she

1192
00:29:44,916 --> 00:29:46,536
never even tried to understand your

1193
00:29:46,536 --> 00:29:48,636
depression or talk to you about

1194
00:29:48,636 --> 00:29:50,826
it or like be a sister to you.

1195
00:29:51,015 --> 00:29:51,372
Yeah.

1196
00:29:51,372 --> 00:29:52,002
And instead is just

1197
00:29:52,002 --> 00:29:53,202
trying to embarrass you.

1198
00:29:53,485 --> 00:29:54,382
Oh my gosh.

1199
00:29:54,442 --> 00:29:54,922
Okay.

1200
00:29:55,191 --> 00:29:56,279
Everyone left.

1201
00:29:56,521 --> 00:29:59,457
Full on left and I just sat there frozen,

1202
00:29:59,671 --> 00:30:01,214
literally didn't know what to say.

1203
00:30:01,458 --> 00:30:02,014
After dinner.

1204
00:30:02,014 --> 00:30:03,334
I pulled her aside and told her

1205
00:30:03,334 --> 00:30:04,954
straight up, Hey, that wasn't okay.

1206
00:30:04,954 --> 00:30:05,674
That joke hurt.

1207
00:30:05,674 --> 00:30:07,097
And she goes, oh my God,

1208
00:30:07,097 --> 00:30:08,147
are you serious right now?

1209
00:30:08,147 --> 00:30:09,047
It's just a joke.

1210
00:30:09,047 --> 00:30:09,797
Get over it.

1211
00:30:09,797 --> 00:30:10,577
You act like you're the

1212
00:30:10,577 --> 00:30:12,137
only one with problems.

1213
00:30:12,358 --> 00:30:13,771
I didn't even reply.

1214
00:30:13,771 --> 00:30:14,911
I just left.

1215
00:30:15,162 --> 00:30:15,568
Okay.

1216
00:30:15,842 --> 00:30:17,714
There's like a lot, but that's that

1217
00:30:17,714 --> 00:30:20,237
kind of attitude of like, get over it.

1218
00:30:20,387 --> 00:30:22,127
Mental health's not real.

1219
00:30:22,187 --> 00:30:22,967
You're fine.

1220
00:30:22,967 --> 00:30:24,227
We all have issues.

1221
00:30:24,227 --> 00:30:24,947
You know, it's like

1222
00:30:25,198 --> 00:30:25,334
I

1223
00:30:25,334 --> 00:30:25,544
just

1224
00:30:25,544 --> 00:30:27,764
feel like all of her sister's hard work.

1225
00:30:27,764 --> 00:30:29,984
If you already know, like if you know

1226
00:30:29,984 --> 00:30:32,434
that, okay, I can't believe you're here.

1227
00:30:32,434 --> 00:30:33,364
I'm shocked that you left

1228
00:30:33,364 --> 00:30:34,234
your dungeon, whatever.

1229
00:30:34,234 --> 00:30:35,404
I'm shocked you left your bedroom.

1230
00:30:35,650 --> 00:30:37,632
What makes you think that saying that

1231
00:30:37,632 --> 00:30:39,069
is gonna make her come out again like

1232
00:30:39,069 --> 00:30:41,649
that probably took so much courage

1233
00:30:41,801 --> 00:30:45,212
and shows, oh, I love you, so I'm

1234
00:30:45,212 --> 00:30:47,372
coming to support you, my sister.

1235
00:30:47,557 --> 00:30:48,999
And that's how you repay

1236
00:30:48,999 --> 00:30:50,979
her by making fun of it.

1237
00:30:50,979 --> 00:30:51,549
So what?

1238
00:30:51,549 --> 00:30:53,919
So you can get a couple laughs in at your

1239
00:30:53,919 --> 00:30:55,959
wedding and make you look funny, make

1240
00:30:55,959 --> 00:30:58,032
you look good on your wedding day and now

1241
00:30:58,032 --> 00:30:59,906
look at that now your sister's not there.

1242
00:31:00,261 --> 00:31:00,551
Yeah.

1243
00:31:01,016 --> 00:31:03,719
So I know it's like they say your, friends

1244
00:31:03,719 --> 00:31:05,549
are sometimes your, like first bullies.

1245
00:31:05,964 --> 00:31:06,744
I've never heard that, but

1246
00:31:06,744 --> 00:31:07,854
that makes a lot of sense.

1247
00:31:07,884 --> 00:31:08,784
I see that all the time

1248
00:31:08,784 --> 00:31:10,461
because maybe I made up that.

1249
00:31:10,767 --> 00:31:12,574
Tell me if I took that from somebody

1250
00:31:12,816 --> 00:31:13,941
I would always say my friends were

1251
00:31:13,941 --> 00:31:16,306
my first bullies friends, that

1252
00:31:16,311 --> 00:31:18,135
I had in like elementary school,

1253
00:31:18,135 --> 00:31:19,725
specifically one in high school.

1254
00:31:19,725 --> 00:31:21,955
We can get to that because she

1255
00:31:21,955 --> 00:31:24,625
always pretended to care about me.

1256
00:31:24,856 --> 00:31:25,837
but she was the first one

1257
00:31:25,837 --> 00:31:26,866
to put me down in a group.

1258
00:31:27,122 --> 00:31:28,370
She was the first one to make fun

1259
00:31:28,370 --> 00:31:30,410
of me, first one to leave me out.

1260
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,050
First one I remember being at a friend's

1261
00:31:33,050 --> 00:31:34,430
house and they were all drinking and I

1262
00:31:34,430 --> 00:31:36,963
wasn't, and she literally made fun of me

1263
00:31:36,963 --> 00:31:38,790
and then went back to school and said that

1264
00:31:38,790 --> 00:31:41,250
I was an like a narc for not drinking.

1265
00:31:41,559 --> 00:31:44,848
Yeah, as therapist, being in that world

1266
00:31:44,848 --> 00:31:46,612
and having adolescents come to me, I hear

1267
00:31:46,612 --> 00:31:49,239
that all the time, makes perfect sense.

1268
00:31:49,239 --> 00:31:50,139
Like, your closest friends

1269
00:31:50,139 --> 00:31:52,045
are your first bullies or like

1270
00:31:52,045 --> 00:31:53,262
your friends are your, bullies.

1271
00:31:53,499 --> 00:31:55,929
And it's like, it's almost more dangerous.

1272
00:31:56,149 --> 00:31:58,524
because some people don't recognize

1273
00:31:58,524 --> 00:32:00,487
it because it's like, oh, they're my

1274
00:32:00,487 --> 00:32:02,820
friend they're obviously not actually

1275
00:32:02,820 --> 00:32:05,180
bullying me, but yes, a hundred percent.

1276
00:32:05,384 --> 00:32:06,524
So it sounds like, yeah, the sister's

1277
00:32:06,524 --> 00:32:08,714
definitely the bully in the situation

1278
00:32:08,714 --> 00:32:11,074
and yeah, she has to pay the price.

1279
00:32:11,347 --> 00:32:13,089
no, I was just say because yeah, I feel

1280
00:32:13,095 --> 00:32:14,322
like you said, it is more dangerous

1281
00:32:14,322 --> 00:32:16,557
because that's striving to be liked,

1282
00:32:16,557 --> 00:32:18,027
especially depending on the age.

1283
00:32:18,027 --> 00:32:19,917
Like you're striving so hard to be liked

1284
00:32:19,917 --> 00:32:22,753
and you want that relationship, right?

1285
00:32:22,753 --> 00:32:24,043
And so you see the good times

1286
00:32:24,043 --> 00:32:24,913
with this person, or they're

1287
00:32:24,913 --> 00:32:26,473
including you in things, right?

1288
00:32:26,678 --> 00:32:28,563
So you're unable to see like, oh,

1289
00:32:28,563 --> 00:32:30,033
they're including me because I'm the

1290
00:32:30,033 --> 00:32:32,297
butt of the joke, or, you know, right.

1291
00:32:32,297 --> 00:32:34,138
Is it's like if you're in a bad

1292
00:32:34,138 --> 00:32:35,728
relationship with someone you can

1293
00:32:35,728 --> 00:32:37,448
see the good moments and you're

1294
00:32:37,448 --> 00:32:38,985
like, push past the bad moments,

1295
00:32:38,985 --> 00:32:41,362
like toxic or abusive or something.

1296
00:32:41,362 --> 00:32:42,532
You're like, oh, but he brought

1297
00:32:42,532 --> 00:32:43,702
me flowers the next day.

1298
00:32:43,945 --> 00:32:45,308
So it's like a friend like that,

1299
00:32:45,431 --> 00:32:46,601
that friend I had in high school,

1300
00:32:46,601 --> 00:32:48,545
it when I was the only one, oh my

1301
00:32:48,545 --> 00:32:50,615
gosh, there's Krista, oh hey girl.

1302
00:32:50,615 --> 00:32:51,875
Oh, you wanna go shopping tonight?

1303
00:32:51,905 --> 00:32:51,995
Oh yeah.

1304
00:32:52,475 --> 00:32:53,885
But then if there was other people around,

1305
00:32:53,885 --> 00:32:56,258
I was like pushed aside, I was made fun

1306
00:32:56,258 --> 00:32:58,118
of, I was talked about behind my back.

1307
00:32:58,361 --> 00:32:59,873
I mean, she doesn't say that she has

1308
00:32:59,873 --> 00:33:01,686
any kind of relationship with her.

1309
00:33:01,940 --> 00:33:02,096
Right.

1310
00:33:02,306 --> 00:33:04,256
So it sounds like they just are

1311
00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:06,763
completely different personalities.

1312
00:33:07,283 --> 00:33:08,603
okay, so she says.

1313
00:33:08,856 --> 00:33:09,941
I didn't even reply.

1314
00:33:09,941 --> 00:33:11,285
I just left a couple

1315
00:33:11,285 --> 00:33:12,215
days before the wedding.

1316
00:33:12,215 --> 00:33:13,115
I texted her and said

1317
00:33:13,115 --> 00:33:13,955
I wouldn't be coming.

1318
00:33:14,183 --> 00:33:14,945
Kept it short.

1319
00:33:15,206 --> 00:33:16,328
Told her I wasn't feeling well,

1320
00:33:16,328 --> 00:33:17,468
and wished her a beautiful day.

1321
00:33:17,700 --> 00:33:19,838
She called me immediately flipping out.

1322
00:33:20,073 --> 00:33:22,551
See, it's like now she wants her there.

1323
00:33:22,761 --> 00:33:24,291
She wants that body there.

1324
00:33:24,526 --> 00:33:26,475
Yeah, because it looks bad if

1325
00:33:26,475 --> 00:33:27,615
she doesn't have her sister.

1326
00:33:27,615 --> 00:33:29,835
Like why doesn't she mm-hmm.

1327
00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:30,615
Have that person?

1328
00:33:30,870 --> 00:33:32,368
She said I was being selfish

1329
00:33:32,398 --> 00:33:35,065
making her wedding about me, and

1330
00:33:35,065 --> 00:33:36,775
that I ruined everything over.

1331
00:33:36,775 --> 00:33:38,065
One little comment.

1332
00:33:38,283 --> 00:33:39,861
Now my parents are mad too.

1333
00:33:39,921 --> 00:33:41,661
Apparently I'm the bad guy.

1334
00:33:41,903 --> 00:33:43,018
The fact that her parents didn't even

1335
00:33:43,018 --> 00:33:44,901
back her up or be like, Hey, maybe

1336
00:33:44,906 --> 00:33:46,288
don't, say that about your sister.

1337
00:33:46,591 --> 00:33:48,012
yeah, it's problematic because

1338
00:33:48,179 --> 00:33:49,439
it sounds like this other sister

1339
00:33:49,439 --> 00:33:51,705
gets her way quite a bit like.

1340
00:33:51,890 --> 00:33:52,897
she's like the life of

1341
00:33:52,897 --> 00:33:54,187
the party kind of thing.

1342
00:33:54,187 --> 00:33:56,130
And she probably like, not sneaky here

1343
00:33:56,130 --> 00:33:57,843
and there, but she just like makes light

1344
00:33:57,843 --> 00:34:00,123
of all the situations to get a laugh.

1345
00:34:00,222 --> 00:34:00,762
the parents are probably

1346
00:34:00,762 --> 00:34:01,482
like, oh, it's fine.

1347
00:34:01,482 --> 00:34:02,622
Like, you know, your sister,

1348
00:34:02,622 --> 00:34:04,242
but that doesn't make it okay.

1349
00:34:04,462 --> 00:34:05,802
because you're used to certain

1350
00:34:05,802 --> 00:34:07,572
patterns or someone's behavior

1351
00:34:07,764 --> 00:34:09,716
does not mean that it is okay.

1352
00:34:09,937 --> 00:34:10,747
poor girl.

1353
00:34:11,107 --> 00:34:11,527
Yeah.

1354
00:34:11,527 --> 00:34:12,374
I think too, if the other

1355
00:34:12,374 --> 00:34:13,694
sister's the golden child, 'cause

1356
00:34:13,694 --> 00:34:15,494
she's like, well liked quote

1357
00:34:15,494 --> 00:34:18,134
unquote, and like very outgoing.

1358
00:34:18,134 --> 00:34:19,454
Maybe she's more friends

1359
00:34:19,454 --> 00:34:20,594
and gets out and does stuff.

1360
00:34:20,858 --> 00:34:21,724
They kind of put her on

1361
00:34:21,724 --> 00:34:22,894
this pedestal, right?

1362
00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:24,888
So like whatever she does can go, but

1363
00:34:24,888 --> 00:34:26,472
I'm like, can't you see your other

1364
00:34:26,472 --> 00:34:28,625
daughter is like suffering right now?

1365
00:34:28,625 --> 00:34:29,443
And like mm-hmm.

1366
00:34:29,718 --> 00:34:29,838
I

1367
00:34:29,838 --> 00:34:29,958
don't

1368
00:34:29,958 --> 00:34:30,198
know.

1369
00:34:30,502 --> 00:34:30,798
That would be

1370
00:34:30,798 --> 00:34:31,668
really, and it's funny that you

1371
00:34:31,668 --> 00:34:33,392
said what the sister said was.

1372
00:34:33,655 --> 00:34:34,675
Oh, I can't believe, like,

1373
00:34:34,795 --> 00:34:35,725
did you say she's making it

1374
00:34:35,725 --> 00:34:36,805
about herself or something?

1375
00:34:36,805 --> 00:34:38,967
Like you would think she would apologize?

1376
00:34:39,207 --> 00:34:39,597
Mm-hmm.

1377
00:34:39,807 --> 00:34:41,020
Like, I'm sorry, but I didn't

1378
00:34:41,020 --> 00:34:42,220
hear an apology at all.

1379
00:34:42,220 --> 00:34:43,270
It was all about like,

1380
00:34:43,720 --> 00:34:44,140
yeah,

1381
00:34:44,350 --> 00:34:44,560
yeah,

1382
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:45,010
no.

1383
00:34:45,015 --> 00:34:45,305
Mm-hmm.

1384
00:34:45,310 --> 00:34:46,450
Yeah, because she doesn't care.

1385
00:34:46,697 --> 00:34:48,107
I keep replaying it all

1386
00:34:48,137 --> 00:34:49,869
like maybe, did I overreact?

1387
00:34:50,065 --> 00:34:50,629
I don't know.

1388
00:34:50,749 --> 00:34:53,005
But also I was already struggling,

1389
00:34:53,185 --> 00:34:54,415
and then to be laughed at like

1390
00:34:54,415 --> 00:34:56,205
that in front of everyone, it

1391
00:34:56,205 --> 00:34:57,405
just broke something in me.

1392
00:34:57,465 --> 00:34:58,425
I couldn't fake it.

1393
00:34:58,425 --> 00:34:59,595
I couldn't go and pretend

1394
00:34:59,595 --> 00:35:00,795
everything was fine just to

1395
00:35:00,795 --> 00:35:03,085
protect her perfect day, honestly.

1396
00:35:03,370 --> 00:35:04,565
I always talk about protecting your

1397
00:35:04,565 --> 00:35:06,995
peace and if someone's gonna bully you

1398
00:35:07,216 --> 00:35:09,062
and say something like that to you.

1399
00:35:09,092 --> 00:35:09,452
Yeah.

1400
00:35:09,452 --> 00:35:10,922
It's like you have to.

1401
00:35:11,190 --> 00:35:12,227
I feel like she was doing

1402
00:35:12,227 --> 00:35:13,577
the opposite, honestly.

1403
00:35:13,796 --> 00:35:13,867
Mm-hmm.

1404
00:35:13,867 --> 00:35:15,247
She wasn't making it about herself.

1405
00:35:15,277 --> 00:35:16,807
She's like, I'm gonna excuse myself

1406
00:35:16,807 --> 00:35:19,724
from this because if I go, I risk

1407
00:35:19,724 --> 00:35:21,584
the chance of being humiliated again.

1408
00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:22,924
Maybe someone comes up to me

1409
00:35:22,924 --> 00:35:24,454
and says, Hey, that speech was

1410
00:35:24,454 --> 00:35:25,834
really funny from your sister.

1411
00:35:26,074 --> 00:35:26,164
Mm-hmm.

1412
00:35:26,164 --> 00:35:27,610
Or, Hey, how's that whole you

1413
00:35:27,610 --> 00:35:28,720
know, like there, it gives people

1414
00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:30,250
permission then to keep going.

1415
00:35:30,519 --> 00:35:30,703
Yeah.

1416
00:35:30,703 --> 00:35:31,393
I'm proud of her.

1417
00:35:31,393 --> 00:35:32,623
Good for you for standing

1418
00:35:32,623 --> 00:35:33,763
your ground lady.

1419
00:35:34,303 --> 00:35:34,603
Yeah.

1420
00:35:35,173 --> 00:35:35,704
I agree.

1421
00:35:35,704 --> 00:35:36,847
And it's like, complicated,

1422
00:35:36,887 --> 00:35:37,487
all this stuff.

1423
00:35:37,487 --> 00:35:39,017
Again, we're only seeing and hearing

1424
00:35:39,017 --> 00:35:41,184
one side, if the sister were to write

1425
00:35:41,184 --> 00:35:43,164
in, I'm sure she would say, right.

1426
00:35:43,704 --> 00:35:44,874
I did, I did apologize.

1427
00:35:44,874 --> 00:35:45,564
It was just a joke.

1428
00:35:46,164 --> 00:35:46,854
Mm-hmm.

1429
00:35:47,167 --> 00:35:49,327
And anyone that, even if it was just

1430
00:35:49,327 --> 00:35:51,420
a joke, right, if someone's calling

1431
00:35:51,420 --> 00:35:52,530
to you and saying, your joke hurt

1432
00:35:52,530 --> 00:35:54,630
my feelings and you can't apologize.

1433
00:35:54,886 --> 00:35:56,885
You're the problem That is a problem.

1434
00:35:56,890 --> 00:35:57,106
Mm-hmm.

1435
00:35:57,240 --> 00:35:58,745
Because like even if I were to be like,

1436
00:35:58,745 --> 00:36:00,125
make a joke to you right now, and I

1437
00:36:00,125 --> 00:36:01,265
could tell it hurt your feelings, I'd

1438
00:36:01,265 --> 00:36:03,029
be like, oh, I'm sorry I was Yeah.

1439
00:36:03,089 --> 00:36:03,779
Joking at me in that way.

1440
00:36:03,779 --> 00:36:05,565
Like, I would never want to hurt

1441
00:36:05,565 --> 00:36:07,275
someone's feelings that I care about.

1442
00:36:07,519 --> 00:36:07,759
Mm-hmm.

1443
00:36:08,172 --> 00:36:09,838
my thing is something that I've learned

1444
00:36:09,838 --> 00:36:12,095
to do for, just in general, when someone

1445
00:36:12,095 --> 00:36:15,601
does make a joke that to me is not funny.

1446
00:36:15,881 --> 00:36:17,051
instead of standing my ground

1447
00:36:17,051 --> 00:36:18,041
or like defending myself,

1448
00:36:18,041 --> 00:36:19,541
I'm like, why is it funny?

1449
00:36:19,814 --> 00:36:20,797
tell me why that's funny.

1450
00:36:20,797 --> 00:36:22,370
And then they're like, oh, and then they

1451
00:36:22,370 --> 00:36:24,760
feel because they realize like, oh, I

1452
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:26,050
was actually being an asshole, or I was

1453
00:36:26,050 --> 00:36:27,880
kinda being a bitch about the situation.

1454
00:36:28,134 --> 00:36:29,775
No, I've actually heard that a lot and

1455
00:36:29,775 --> 00:36:30,935
I've had to do that a couple times.

1456
00:36:30,935 --> 00:36:32,999
When people say sexist or racist

1457
00:36:32,999 --> 00:36:34,605
things, I go, I don't understand.

1458
00:36:34,605 --> 00:36:34,965
Tell me why.

1459
00:36:34,965 --> 00:36:35,625
That's funny.

1460
00:36:35,870 --> 00:36:37,390
Oh, yeah, that's what I mean all the time.

1461
00:36:37,390 --> 00:36:38,680
I'm like, oh, why is that funny?

1462
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:39,490
Tell it's funny.

1463
00:36:39,495 --> 00:36:39,895
Mm-hmm.

1464
00:36:39,980 --> 00:36:40,270
Yeah.

1465
00:36:40,525 --> 00:36:40,893
Yeah.

1466
00:36:41,101 --> 00:36:42,486
I actually had do that not that long ago.

1467
00:36:42,516 --> 00:36:43,746
Someone was making a joke and

1468
00:36:43,746 --> 00:36:45,156
I was like, I don't understand.

1469
00:36:45,156 --> 00:36:46,146
And then they like didn't know

1470
00:36:46,146 --> 00:36:47,526
what to say because then when

1471
00:36:47,526 --> 00:36:48,606
they have to break it down, they

1472
00:36:48,606 --> 00:36:52,883
realize how d offensive, ignorant.

1473
00:36:52,883 --> 00:36:53,303
Yeah.

1474
00:36:53,303 --> 00:36:53,993
Whatever.

1475
00:36:53,993 --> 00:36:53,994
Yeah.

1476
00:36:54,208 --> 00:36:56,352
and I think people learn then not

1477
00:36:56,352 --> 00:36:58,452
to say stuff around me and like, I

1478
00:36:58,452 --> 00:37:00,012
just don't put up with it anymore.

1479
00:37:00,432 --> 00:37:00,762
Yeah.

1480
00:37:01,002 --> 00:37:01,572
Good for you.

1481
00:37:01,842 --> 00:37:02,862
The world's full of enough

1482
00:37:02,862 --> 00:37:04,092
hate, like I need to make it

1483
00:37:04,092 --> 00:37:06,162
clear where I stand and I, yes.

1484
00:37:06,623 --> 00:37:07,283
Joke like that.

1485
00:37:07,601 --> 00:37:08,590
Chris is a girl's girl,

1486
00:37:08,590 --> 00:37:10,797
everyone, so always love.

1487
00:37:11,131 --> 00:37:11,478
Yeah.

1488
00:37:11,608 --> 00:37:12,542
we don't make sexist or

1489
00:37:12,542 --> 00:37:13,682
racist jokes around here.

1490
00:37:14,126 --> 00:37:14,366
Yeah.

1491
00:37:14,366 --> 00:37:15,566
Is that how the kids do it now?

1492
00:37:15,848 --> 00:37:16,206
Yeah.

1493
00:37:16,236 --> 00:37:17,556
Wait, how is it this?

1494
00:37:17,888 --> 00:37:18,079
No.

1495
00:37:18,409 --> 00:37:19,369
Oh gosh.

1496
00:37:19,575 --> 00:37:19,932
Wait.

1497
00:37:20,201 --> 00:37:21,129
Oh, this.

1498
00:37:21,371 --> 00:37:22,552
I can't even do that.

1499
00:37:22,795 --> 00:37:23,059
Yeah.

1500
00:37:23,328 --> 00:37:24,439
If you guys are just listening,

1501
00:37:24,439 --> 00:37:25,159
we're trying to do this.

1502
00:37:25,159 --> 00:37:25,279
Girl.

1503
00:37:27,068 --> 00:37:28,838
I'm just gonna stick the T Swift part.

1504
00:37:28,898 --> 00:37:29,318
I know

1505
00:37:29,318 --> 00:37:29,528
my

1506
00:37:29,528 --> 00:37:32,018
daughter, she does this because T

1507
00:37:32,018 --> 00:37:32,408
Swift,

1508
00:37:32,413 --> 00:37:32,888
so she, I love

1509
00:37:32,888 --> 00:37:33,068
it.

1510
00:37:33,381 --> 00:37:35,162
It's funny, like the thing about

1511
00:37:35,162 --> 00:37:37,742
ask your kids to hold up a phone.

1512
00:37:37,742 --> 00:37:37,832
Mm-hmm.

1513
00:37:38,605 --> 00:37:40,468
my daughter started playing with,

1514
00:37:40,548 --> 00:37:41,718
like pretending to do phone calls.

1515
00:37:41,718 --> 00:37:42,828
She has a fake phone.

1516
00:37:43,203 --> 00:37:43,283
Yeah.

1517
00:37:43,283 --> 00:37:43,563
Phone.

1518
00:37:43,568 --> 00:37:44,588
She goes like this.

1519
00:37:44,948 --> 00:37:47,285
She goes, and she'll be

1520
00:37:47,285 --> 00:37:49,835
like, she's like, hi, spidey.

1521
00:37:50,105 --> 00:37:50,435
Hi.

1522
00:37:50,795 --> 00:37:51,185
It's me.

1523
00:37:51,575 --> 00:37:51,875
Bye.

1524
00:37:53,410 --> 00:37:53,940
I love that.

1525
00:37:54,728 --> 00:37:56,008
I'm like, oh my gosh, what happened?

1526
00:37:56,458 --> 00:37:56,758
This,

1527
00:37:56,908 --> 00:37:57,388
I'm still

1528
00:37:57,388 --> 00:37:59,978
like, like the rotary?

1529
00:38:00,308 --> 00:38:00,548
Yeah.

1530
00:38:01,031 --> 00:38:01,415
Oh my gosh.

1531
00:38:01,415 --> 00:38:02,855
My parents had a rotary in their room

1532
00:38:02,855 --> 00:38:04,852
growing up and I'd be like, oh my gosh.

1533
00:38:04,852 --> 00:38:05,032
Those

1534
00:38:05,032 --> 00:38:05,542
things were so

1535
00:38:05,542 --> 00:38:06,502
fun to play with.

1536
00:38:06,502 --> 00:38:06,802
I know.

1537
00:38:07,132 --> 00:38:07,717
They were fun.

1538
00:38:07,912 --> 00:38:08,812
I kind of wish we still

1539
00:38:08,812 --> 00:38:09,652
had house phones, to be

1540
00:38:09,652 --> 00:38:10,342
honest.

1541
00:38:10,402 --> 00:38:12,382
I keep telling Matt, my husband

1542
00:38:12,382 --> 00:38:14,152
that we need a house phone back.

1543
00:38:14,391 --> 00:38:16,568
Yeah, there's like pros and cons.

1544
00:38:16,568 --> 00:38:17,888
Like, I like being able to have a phone,

1545
00:38:17,888 --> 00:38:19,558
like when we go on a walk or I don't know.

1546
00:38:19,558 --> 00:38:20,848
We are driving somewhere.

1547
00:38:20,848 --> 00:38:21,473
Right, sure.

1548
00:38:21,473 --> 00:38:23,498
It's like safety reasons, I think

1549
00:38:23,498 --> 00:38:24,788
I've told you this before too, 'cause

1550
00:38:24,788 --> 00:38:26,108
like you've apologized like, oh sorry.

1551
00:38:26,108 --> 00:38:26,828
And I'm like, Yvette, you

1552
00:38:26,828 --> 00:38:27,878
never have to apologize.

1553
00:38:27,938 --> 00:38:28,868
You're busy.

1554
00:38:29,107 --> 00:38:29,705
I get it.

1555
00:38:29,765 --> 00:38:31,245
Like I never want someone to think

1556
00:38:31,245 --> 00:38:32,985
that like this is a walkie talkie

1557
00:38:33,190 --> 00:38:34,835
and that like when I text you,

1558
00:38:34,835 --> 00:38:36,125
you have to respond right away.

1559
00:38:36,125 --> 00:38:37,445
Like, I'm not summoning you.

1560
00:38:37,644 --> 00:38:38,302
But I feel like there's like

1561
00:38:38,302 --> 00:38:39,722
this, power phones have over

1562
00:38:39,722 --> 00:38:41,102
us where we feel like, ah.

1563
00:38:41,347 --> 00:38:42,457
Someone texts me like, I

1564
00:38:42,457 --> 00:38:43,357
need to get back to them.

1565
00:38:43,357 --> 00:38:44,937
And like, Zach has that where he's

1566
00:38:44,937 --> 00:38:46,187
like, if I don't text them back,

1567
00:38:46,187 --> 00:38:47,756
I feel like I'm letting them down.

1568
00:38:47,756 --> 00:38:49,239
I'm like, people will live.

1569
00:38:49,479 --> 00:38:51,099
if it's not an urgent request,

1570
00:38:51,129 --> 00:38:53,139
you can give it a day or two.

1571
00:38:53,316 --> 00:38:54,266
And isn't that crazy how

1572
00:38:54,266 --> 00:38:55,946
that seems long for a text?

1573
00:38:56,190 --> 00:38:57,390
yeah, for me it takes me

1574
00:38:57,390 --> 00:38:59,100
ages, so I'm like, whatever.

1575
00:38:59,318 --> 00:39:00,826
But yeah, I hate my phone.

1576
00:39:00,826 --> 00:39:02,416
I feel like we just need to like, put

1577
00:39:02,416 --> 00:39:04,126
our phones away as soon as we get home.

1578
00:39:04,340 --> 00:39:05,716
don't use 'em at the same time.

1579
00:39:05,716 --> 00:39:07,070
I'm addicted to them, I

1580
00:39:07,070 --> 00:39:09,550
hate texting because I like.

1581
00:39:09,773 --> 00:39:12,405
Connection with people and texting is so

1582
00:39:12,435 --> 00:39:15,045
impersonal that I'm like, I don't like it.

1583
00:39:15,273 --> 00:39:17,883
I would much rather do this FaceTime

1584
00:39:17,883 --> 00:39:20,493
you call you, even like hear your voice.

1585
00:39:20,716 --> 00:39:22,450
I would much rather prefer that I'm

1586
00:39:22,450 --> 00:39:23,980
like old school when it comes to that.

1587
00:39:24,204 --> 00:39:25,166
Yeah, I agree.

1588
00:39:25,300 --> 00:39:26,620
I don't wanna tell big news

1589
00:39:26,620 --> 00:39:28,336
or hear big news via text.

1590
00:39:28,590 --> 00:39:29,760
And so I feel like, especially

1591
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:30,696
like with you, I feel like we'll

1592
00:39:30,696 --> 00:39:32,553
catch up sometimes I'd rather like

1593
00:39:32,763 --> 00:39:34,549
really catch up like in person and

1594
00:39:34,549 --> 00:39:35,943
like have our, deep one-on-ones.

1595
00:39:35,943 --> 00:39:37,196
'cause I'm like, texting.

1596
00:39:37,196 --> 00:39:37,976
How's it going?

1597
00:39:37,976 --> 00:39:40,286
Is for like acquaintances?

1598
00:39:40,346 --> 00:39:41,096
Yes.

1599
00:39:41,356 --> 00:39:42,213
Like, hey, how's it going?

1600
00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:43,069
Oh, how's everything?

1601
00:39:43,069 --> 00:39:43,729
Okay, great.

1602
00:39:44,029 --> 00:39:45,529
It feels so not real.

1603
00:39:45,649 --> 00:39:46,459
And I'm like, wait.

1604
00:39:46,459 --> 00:39:46,669
Yeah.

1605
00:39:46,986 --> 00:39:47,823
I wanna talk to you.

1606
00:39:47,823 --> 00:39:48,483
I wanna see you.

1607
00:39:48,483 --> 00:39:49,113
I miss you.

1608
00:39:49,593 --> 00:39:50,013
Yeah,

1609
00:39:50,073 --> 00:39:51,093
yeah, exactly.

1610
00:39:51,123 --> 00:39:53,253
Let's go beyond the surface.

1611
00:39:53,474 --> 00:39:54,254
yeah, yeah.

1612
00:39:54,316 --> 00:39:54,706
Okay.

1613
00:39:54,964 --> 00:39:56,400
There's a little bit more of the story.

1614
00:39:56,620 --> 00:39:56,893
okay.

1615
00:39:56,893 --> 00:39:59,293
It says, now she isn't talking to me.

1616
00:39:59,353 --> 00:40:00,613
It's been a few weeks.

1617
00:40:00,747 --> 00:40:02,413
No apology, nothing.

1618
00:40:02,563 --> 00:40:03,523
Just silence.

1619
00:40:03,721 --> 00:40:05,323
I keep wondering if I should have just

1620
00:40:05,323 --> 00:40:06,853
sucked it up and gone for the sake

1621
00:40:06,853 --> 00:40:08,833
of family peace or avoid the drama.

1622
00:40:09,057 --> 00:40:10,840
But at the same time, I know how

1623
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:12,220
low I felt after that dinner.

1624
00:40:12,467 --> 00:40:13,900
I know how hard I worked to just

1625
00:40:13,900 --> 00:40:15,040
show up that night, like you were

1626
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:16,983
saying, and then to have her turn me

1627
00:40:16,983 --> 00:40:19,330
into a punchline, like my pain was

1628
00:40:19,330 --> 00:40:21,360
entertainment and the worst part,

1629
00:40:21,626 --> 00:40:23,396
I'm the one everyone's upset with.

1630
00:40:23,486 --> 00:40:24,986
My parents say I embarrassed the

1631
00:40:24,986 --> 00:40:26,816
family that I should have put my

1632
00:40:26,816 --> 00:40:28,690
feelings aside for one day, but

1633
00:40:28,690 --> 00:40:30,820
no one's asking how I felt being

1634
00:40:30,820 --> 00:40:32,650
laughed at in a room full of people.

1635
00:40:32,814 --> 00:40:34,036
No one's asking how hard

1636
00:40:34,036 --> 00:40:35,206
it was to just be there.

1637
00:40:35,442 --> 00:40:36,993
I don't know what's gonna happen with us.

1638
00:40:37,125 --> 00:40:37,716
Maybe we'll talk

1639
00:40:37,716 --> 00:40:39,276
eventually, maybe we won't.

1640
00:40:39,559 --> 00:40:40,940
That makes me really sad.

1641
00:40:41,202 --> 00:40:42,313
It's so hard

1642
00:40:42,313 --> 00:40:44,491
because  I see both sides a little

1643
00:40:44,491 --> 00:40:46,541
bit now because it is your big day.

1644
00:40:46,541 --> 00:40:48,604
You want your sister, but like,

1645
00:40:48,634 --> 00:40:50,108
if that would've been the case,

1646
00:40:50,138 --> 00:40:52,178
then you would've apologized and

1647
00:40:52,178 --> 00:40:53,644
you would've been like, I'm sorry.

1648
00:40:54,334 --> 00:40:56,128
You would've said, I'm sorry.

1649
00:40:56,304 --> 00:40:58,794
And try to mend the relationship so that

1650
00:40:58,794 --> 00:41:00,324
your sister could go to the wedding.

1651
00:41:00,589 --> 00:41:02,774
But I'm on her side, you

1652
00:41:02,774 --> 00:41:05,114
should not feel bad about this.

1653
00:41:05,353 --> 00:41:06,704
I'm so proud of you again,

1654
00:41:06,704 --> 00:41:07,634
for standing your ground.

1655
00:41:07,634 --> 00:41:09,154
And like you said, they no longer

1656
00:41:09,154 --> 00:41:11,434
have any ammo to keep doing this

1657
00:41:11,434 --> 00:41:13,804
to you because now everyone can

1658
00:41:13,804 --> 00:41:16,504
recognize like, oh no, she's serious.

1659
00:41:16,728 --> 00:41:17,568
and good for you.

1660
00:41:17,823 --> 00:41:19,402
there's this thing, the Let Them theory

1661
00:41:19,402 --> 00:41:20,536
or like the book, let them, yeah.

1662
00:41:20,566 --> 00:41:21,646
And it's a little like,

1663
00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:22,936
just let them, that's okay.

1664
00:41:23,111 --> 00:41:24,366
And they'll live.

1665
00:41:24,366 --> 00:41:25,026
You'll live.

1666
00:41:25,026 --> 00:41:27,640
And hopefully in the future, if it's

1667
00:41:27,700 --> 00:41:30,010
supposed to be fixed, it will be fixed.

1668
00:41:30,010 --> 00:41:32,460
And I hope that you get your

1669
00:41:32,460 --> 00:41:34,451
apology, but you might not.

1670
00:41:34,451 --> 00:41:37,821
But what I hope for most is that

1671
00:41:38,046 --> 00:41:39,883
you can forgive your sister which

1672
00:41:39,883 --> 00:41:41,704
takes a of work, but you don't

1673
00:41:41,704 --> 00:41:43,894
need an apology to forgive someone.

1674
00:41:44,014 --> 00:41:45,634
But if you don't forgive someone.

1675
00:41:45,839 --> 00:41:47,682
It's gonna be eating at eu, that

1676
00:41:47,682 --> 00:41:49,122
other person's gonna be living their

1677
00:41:49,122 --> 00:41:51,132
life not even thinking about it.

1678
00:41:51,522 --> 00:41:52,182
Does that make sense?

1679
00:41:52,422 --> 00:41:52,752
Yeah.

1680
00:41:52,752 --> 00:41:54,282
And that's why you're the professional.

1681
00:41:54,596 --> 00:41:54,899
Yeah.

1682
00:41:54,959 --> 00:41:55,949
I'm just here to chat.

1683
00:41:55,949 --> 00:41:58,159
And you like guys, Yvette

1684
00:41:58,159 --> 00:42:00,109
is, an official, like you

1685
00:42:00,109 --> 00:42:01,759
are official.

1686
00:42:01,759 --> 00:42:03,859
I got my certificate in the mail.

1687
00:42:03,859 --> 00:42:04,789
I'm like, yay.

1688
00:42:05,629 --> 00:42:06,049
Yes.

1689
00:42:06,049 --> 00:42:07,889
What's your like, official title

1690
00:42:07,966 --> 00:42:08,759
for everyone that's listening?

1691
00:42:08,759 --> 00:42:10,259
Licensed professional counselor.

1692
00:42:10,472 --> 00:42:12,472
So she can give actual advice.

1693
00:42:12,472 --> 00:42:13,544
I mean, I'm sure like there's

1694
00:42:13,544 --> 00:42:15,230
stipulations that you can't give.

1695
00:42:15,483 --> 00:42:15,970
Yes.

1696
00:42:15,970 --> 00:42:16,270
You're right.

1697
00:42:16,270 --> 00:42:17,380
Like this is general.

1698
00:42:17,380 --> 00:42:17,410
I

1699
00:42:17,410 --> 00:42:19,090
actually can't give advice.

1700
00:42:19,317 --> 00:42:20,120
I'm more like, you go

1701
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:21,230
girl, what are we doing?

1702
00:42:21,230 --> 00:42:22,010
What are you In general?

1703
00:42:22,010 --> 00:42:22,430
Yeah.

1704
00:42:22,577 --> 00:42:23,597
they're not your client.

1705
00:42:23,597 --> 00:42:25,477
You're just giving your professional.

1706
00:42:25,477 --> 00:42:25,777
Yeah.

1707
00:42:25,996 --> 00:42:26,626
I love that.

1708
00:42:26,832 --> 00:42:28,632
Because I can listen to this story, right.

1709
00:42:28,632 --> 00:42:29,952
And I can be like, I know what I

1710
00:42:29,952 --> 00:42:32,232
would do in certain situations, right?

1711
00:42:32,322 --> 00:42:33,352
Well, one, I wanna be the

1712
00:42:33,352 --> 00:42:34,372
little sister that would bully.

1713
00:42:34,372 --> 00:42:35,902
I would never call someone out like that.

1714
00:42:36,157 --> 00:42:36,359
Yeah.

1715
00:42:36,579 --> 00:42:37,926
but yeah, I get what you're saying too.

1716
00:42:37,926 --> 00:42:39,482
It's like I've been the people

1717
00:42:39,482 --> 00:42:40,682
pleaser before too, where you

1718
00:42:40,682 --> 00:42:42,392
just suck it up and you attend.

1719
00:42:42,561 --> 00:42:43,829
It is more complicated when

1720
00:42:43,829 --> 00:42:45,599
it's a sister versus a friend.

1721
00:42:45,599 --> 00:42:47,129
Like, yeah, 100%.

1722
00:42:47,129 --> 00:42:48,179
If a friend treated me like

1723
00:42:48,179 --> 00:42:49,452
that, I'd be like, I don't

1724
00:42:49,452 --> 00:42:50,142
think I can go to the wedding.

1725
00:42:50,172 --> 00:42:51,522
I mean, everything's so complicated.

1726
00:42:51,757 --> 00:42:52,571
It's like Right.

1727
00:42:52,961 --> 00:42:53,441
The whole story.

1728
00:42:53,441 --> 00:42:54,641
We don't know the details.

1729
00:42:54,807 --> 00:42:55,377
We're not her.

1730
00:42:55,377 --> 00:42:56,427
And the fact is that she

1731
00:42:56,427 --> 00:42:58,107
made the best choice for her.

1732
00:42:58,316 --> 00:43:00,467
And right now it's gonna be hard looking

1733
00:43:00,467 --> 00:43:02,777
back and being like, did I overreact?

1734
00:43:03,077 --> 00:43:04,127
Why do they all act like

1735
00:43:04,157 --> 00:43:05,237
I'm the villain now?

1736
00:43:05,237 --> 00:43:06,437
Because I didn't show up.

1737
00:43:06,437 --> 00:43:08,501
But in reality, she stuck it to

1738
00:43:08,501 --> 00:43:09,951
like, I mean, she really held

1739
00:43:09,951 --> 00:43:11,578
from on her boundaries, which

1740
00:43:11,578 --> 00:43:13,108
not a lot of people can say.

1741
00:43:13,346 --> 00:43:14,998
I don't think I would've been that strong.

1742
00:43:15,073 --> 00:43:15,133
Yeah.

1743
00:43:16,106 --> 00:43:17,246
Someone did that to me.

1744
00:43:17,459 --> 00:43:18,783
I'm like, trying to think if, only taking

1745
00:43:18,783 --> 00:43:20,823
this information right here, I probably

1746
00:43:20,823 --> 00:43:22,083
still would've gone to the wedding.

1747
00:43:22,378 --> 00:43:23,523
And I would've probably gone.

1748
00:43:23,528 --> 00:43:24,933
That's the people pleaser coming out.

1749
00:43:25,743 --> 00:43:27,058
And I am, that way too.

1750
00:43:27,058 --> 00:43:28,828
And it's funny that I say that 'cause I

1751
00:43:28,828 --> 00:43:32,054
don't think, I really don't, I feel like

1752
00:43:32,114 --> 00:43:33,944
you say, oh, I used to be such a people

1753
00:43:33,944 --> 00:43:36,621
pleaser, but I've seen you work so hard on

1754
00:43:36,621 --> 00:43:38,421
your boundaries, like setting boundaries

1755
00:43:38,421 --> 00:43:40,614
and being like, I know your boundaries.

1756
00:43:40,614 --> 00:43:42,361
So I know like, I don't wanna say like

1757
00:43:42,361 --> 00:43:43,501
what I can get away with or what I

1758
00:43:43,501 --> 00:43:46,181
not, but like I know what's acceptable

1759
00:43:46,181 --> 00:43:48,111
and what's not acceptable, around you.

1760
00:43:48,111 --> 00:43:50,031
And I respect it even more for that.

1761
00:43:50,121 --> 00:43:50,301
What

1762
00:43:50,301 --> 00:43:51,616
boundaries do I have that

1763
00:43:51,616 --> 00:43:51,617
you

1764
00:43:51,771 --> 00:43:52,416
can't do around me?

1765
00:43:52,416 --> 00:43:53,151
Um, oh no.

1766
00:43:53,151 --> 00:43:55,388
Uh, I feel like with, not really with me.

1767
00:43:55,388 --> 00:43:55,868
I just

1768
00:43:56,058 --> 00:43:57,831
Respect your privacy, respect that

1769
00:43:57,987 --> 00:43:59,437
you're protective over your daughter

1770
00:43:59,437 --> 00:44:01,624
and it makes me respect you more, but

1771
00:44:01,624 --> 00:44:03,674
also with like, family dynamics or

1772
00:44:03,674 --> 00:44:05,491
like friend, you know what I mean?

1773
00:44:05,491 --> 00:44:06,631
Like different kind of things.

1774
00:44:06,631 --> 00:44:07,831
Like you're firm in that and

1775
00:44:07,831 --> 00:44:09,541
I'm like, I love you for that.

1776
00:44:09,571 --> 00:44:10,771
So that's, yeah.

1777
00:44:10,771 --> 00:44:10,981
Yeah.

1778
00:44:11,264 --> 00:44:12,554
I always try to say like, I'm a recovering

1779
00:44:12,554 --> 00:44:15,031
people pleaser, I'm better saying like,

1780
00:44:15,324 --> 00:44:17,746
no to things or like, I know right off

1781
00:44:17,746 --> 00:44:19,960
the bat, if Zach's like, oh, we were

1782
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:21,950
invited to this and this, and I'll be

1783
00:44:21,950 --> 00:44:23,788
like, that doesn't sound like something

1784
00:44:23,815 --> 00:44:25,225
that would interest me, or I wanna spend

1785
00:44:25,225 --> 00:44:26,835
my time doing, like, we were talking

1786
00:44:26,835 --> 00:44:28,662
today about valuable friendships or

1787
00:44:28,662 --> 00:44:30,312
like where we wanna spend our time.

1788
00:44:30,312 --> 00:44:30,612
Right?

1789
00:44:30,813 --> 00:44:32,243
and this is not to sound in a certain

1790
00:44:32,243 --> 00:44:33,917
way, but like, if it's, let's say

1791
00:44:33,917 --> 00:44:35,237
it's like an old friend of Zach's

1792
00:44:35,237 --> 00:44:36,557
that I never met from years ago.

1793
00:44:36,557 --> 00:44:38,087
It's like, let's catch up and get dinner.

1794
00:44:38,267 --> 00:44:39,720
I'm like, you go have fun.

1795
00:44:39,780 --> 00:44:40,910
Like you take all night.

1796
00:44:41,157 --> 00:44:42,667
Do your thing, I'll stay home.

1797
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:45,600
for me, that's just, I'd rather be home.

1798
00:44:45,827 --> 00:44:47,717
But if it's like, let's catch up with our

1799
00:44:47,747 --> 00:44:49,547
good friends and like have a date night.

1800
00:44:49,607 --> 00:44:50,057
Yeah.

1801
00:44:50,057 --> 00:44:50,537
I'm in.

1802
00:44:50,537 --> 00:44:50,597
Yeah.

1803
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:52,437
So it's like really like spending time

1804
00:44:52,437 --> 00:44:54,507
of what's gonna bring you joy cause I

1805
00:44:54,507 --> 00:44:55,797
feel like a lot of times in my twenties,

1806
00:44:56,003 --> 00:44:57,563
I would just say yes to things because

1807
00:44:57,677 --> 00:44:59,477
someone would invite us and we'd go Yeah.

1808
00:44:59,562 --> 00:45:00,797
And I'd be like, I wanted to stay

1809
00:45:00,797 --> 00:45:02,267
home and I didn't listen to myself.

1810
00:45:03,023 --> 00:45:03,113
Yeah.

1811
00:45:03,683 --> 00:45:04,553
And now I'm just like,

1812
00:45:04,790 --> 00:45:06,173
no, I wanna do this.

1813
00:45:06,173 --> 00:45:07,130
Or yeah.

1814
00:45:07,233 --> 00:45:08,967
I feel like it's just we have

1815
00:45:08,967 --> 00:45:10,233
to listen to those gut feelings

1816
00:45:10,233 --> 00:45:11,403
'cause they're there for a reason.

1817
00:45:11,713 --> 00:45:11,820
yeah.

1818
00:45:11,820 --> 00:45:12,390
That's good.

1819
00:45:12,697 --> 00:45:12,937
Yeah.

1820
00:45:12,937 --> 00:45:14,640
I think I say something else.

1821
00:45:14,670 --> 00:45:15,960
You were saying something else and I

1822
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:17,750
was like, oh yeah, that's a good point.

1823
00:45:17,980 --> 00:45:19,375
I think too well, yeah, about

1824
00:45:19,375 --> 00:45:20,365
like boundaries and stuff.

1825
00:45:20,365 --> 00:45:21,985
Like, so many times people think like if

1826
00:45:21,985 --> 00:45:23,545
you have a boundary, you're like rude.

1827
00:45:23,545 --> 00:45:24,175
And I think that's what I

1828
00:45:24,175 --> 00:45:26,098
told myself this whole life.

1829
00:45:26,098 --> 00:45:27,185
When I was younger, like I

1830
00:45:27,185 --> 00:45:29,105
didn't know what boundaries were.

1831
00:45:29,105 --> 00:45:29,375
Right?

1832
00:45:29,375 --> 00:45:30,275
And I thought, like if people

1833
00:45:30,275 --> 00:45:32,015
said no, like you're rude, like

1834
00:45:32,158 --> 00:45:33,655
they're gonna talk bad about you.

1835
00:45:33,928 --> 00:45:35,478
But in reality, like if you just say

1836
00:45:35,478 --> 00:45:37,330
things respectfully or you just carry

1837
00:45:37,330 --> 00:45:39,340
yourself in a certain way, people then

1838
00:45:39,340 --> 00:45:41,188
just kind of like learn is okay with

1839
00:45:41,188 --> 00:45:42,998
this person or just don't, say this

1840
00:45:42,998 --> 00:45:45,007
around this person or that kind of thing.

1841
00:45:45,101 --> 00:45:45,391
Like,

1842
00:45:45,446 --> 00:45:47,130
back to what I said, I think when

1843
00:45:47,130 --> 00:45:49,790
you start to implement boundaries in

1844
00:45:49,790 --> 00:45:52,318
your life, it equals respect because

1845
00:45:52,525 --> 00:45:54,719
people recognize like, oh, they respect

1846
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:56,879
themselves enough to like stand up

1847
00:45:56,879 --> 00:45:58,965
for themselves, that it makes them.

1848
00:45:59,175 --> 00:46:00,265
Hopefully respect them, and if

1849
00:46:00,265 --> 00:46:01,495
not, like, then they're cut off.

1850
00:46:01,525 --> 00:46:02,185
You know what I mean?

1851
00:46:02,185 --> 00:46:03,493
But  essentially, like what

1852
00:46:03,493 --> 00:46:05,483
it does is it builds respect

1853
00:46:05,694 --> 00:46:07,194
Because yeah, I think if this happened

1854
00:46:07,194 --> 00:46:08,814
to me in my twenties or something,

1855
00:46:08,814 --> 00:46:11,517
whether it was like my sister or a

1856
00:46:11,517 --> 00:46:12,837
friend of mine or something, right.

1857
00:46:13,102 --> 00:46:15,150
I think I would've gone, and then I

1858
00:46:15,150 --> 00:46:16,860
would've like let it eat at me and

1859
00:46:16,860 --> 00:46:18,330
I would've just held onto this, like

1860
00:46:18,330 --> 00:46:20,267
you said, it would just affect you.

1861
00:46:20,297 --> 00:46:21,647
Like you would just hold onto it.

1862
00:46:21,647 --> 00:46:22,787
And then like every little thing they

1863
00:46:22,787 --> 00:46:24,227
would do would probably make me mad

1864
00:46:24,227 --> 00:46:25,807
or I would just hold onto this grudge

1865
00:46:25,807 --> 00:46:27,110
and it would probably just be bigger.

1866
00:46:27,357 --> 00:46:28,354
and yeah.

1867
00:46:28,384 --> 00:46:29,254
'cause there were friendships I

1868
00:46:29,254 --> 00:46:31,264
held onto for a long time that

1869
00:46:31,264 --> 00:46:33,217
were like, they were awful to me.

1870
00:46:33,384 --> 00:46:34,184
I can still think about

1871
00:46:34,184 --> 00:46:34,874
all the things I did.

1872
00:46:35,110 --> 00:46:36,427
And then literally, it was like one

1873
00:46:36,427 --> 00:46:38,347
day in my like mid twenties, I was just

1874
00:46:38,347 --> 00:46:40,300
like, I'm not gonna call that person.

1875
00:46:40,300 --> 00:46:41,260
And then they didn't call me and it was

1876
00:46:41,260 --> 00:46:43,180
just kind of just like, yeah, hard time.

1877
00:46:43,454 --> 00:46:44,849
after her kind of describing

1878
00:46:44,849 --> 00:46:46,529
how she all felt after it.

1879
00:46:46,559 --> 00:46:47,969
I don't blame her one bitch.

1880
00:46:47,976 --> 00:46:49,275
She knew what she needed to do to

1881
00:46:49,275 --> 00:46:52,612
protect her peace in that moment, and if

1882
00:46:52,612 --> 00:46:54,642
I were her, I won't expect An apology.

1883
00:46:54,642 --> 00:46:54,732
Mm-hmm.

1884
00:46:54,894 --> 00:46:55,702
It doesn't sound like the

1885
00:46:55,702 --> 00:46:57,412
sisters want to apologize if she

1886
00:46:57,412 --> 00:46:59,212
can't see why you're hurt now.

1887
00:46:59,438 --> 00:47:00,655
Unless she grows a lot

1888
00:47:00,655 --> 00:47:02,582
over the next, year or so.

1889
00:47:02,802 --> 00:47:03,023
Maybe

1890
00:47:03,023 --> 00:47:04,463
it'll happen, you know, that there's

1891
00:47:04,463 --> 00:47:07,643
gonna be some kind of conversation in

1892
00:47:07,643 --> 00:47:09,413
the future about this, your sisters,

1893
00:47:09,643 --> 00:47:10,063
yeah.

1894
00:47:10,620 --> 00:47:10,920
Yeah.

1895
00:47:11,153 --> 00:47:11,595
It's not

1896
00:47:11,595 --> 00:47:11,835
happen.

1897
00:47:12,220 --> 00:47:13,180
It's complicated.

1898
00:47:13,420 --> 00:47:14,080
Mm-hmm.

1899
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:14,698
All right.

1900
00:47:14,938 --> 00:47:17,038
That was a crazy story, and that was sad.

1901
00:47:17,038 --> 00:47:18,298
Sometimes they end and they're sad, and

1902
00:47:18,298 --> 00:47:20,427
I'm just like, I make these skits online

1903
00:47:20,427 --> 00:47:21,597
and they're so like, drama filled and

1904
00:47:21,597 --> 00:47:23,777
they're entertainment, but like, deep

1905
00:47:23,777 --> 00:47:25,127
down, a lot of these stories, there's

1906
00:47:25,127 --> 00:47:27,107
so much like heartbreak and hurt.

1907
00:47:27,107 --> 00:47:28,517
Like I make them in an entertaining

1908
00:47:28,517 --> 00:47:29,987
way that's like goofy characters.

1909
00:47:30,047 --> 00:47:30,647
Right, right.

1910
00:47:30,830 --> 00:47:32,154
But there's so much heartbreak and

1911
00:47:32,154 --> 00:47:33,504
hurt in a, all of these stories that

1912
00:47:33,504 --> 00:47:35,467
it's just like to go through this.

1913
00:47:35,467 --> 00:47:36,577
Like, I don't know how some

1914
00:47:36,577 --> 00:47:37,297
of these people go through

1915
00:47:37,297 --> 00:47:38,947
these things and just move on.

1916
00:47:38,947 --> 00:47:40,481
Like how family members are

1917
00:47:40,481 --> 00:47:41,501
terrible to them and they have

1918
00:47:41,501 --> 00:47:43,251
to like show a brave face.

1919
00:47:43,478 --> 00:47:44,978
I don't know how they do it because

1920
00:47:45,319 --> 00:47:46,669
I feel very lucky that I've never

1921
00:47:46,669 --> 00:47:48,732
had to deal with something like

1922
00:47:48,997 --> 00:47:51,086
super intense, like these stories.

1923
00:47:51,334 --> 00:47:51,752
Yeah.

1924
00:47:51,842 --> 00:47:52,082
Yeah.

1925
00:47:52,082 --> 00:47:52,412
Same.

1926
00:47:52,604 --> 00:47:53,804
I don't think I've had anything

1927
00:47:53,804 --> 00:47:55,424
too crazy like that either.

1928
00:47:55,672 --> 00:47:57,148
I can sit here and  at my life

1929
00:47:57,148 --> 00:47:58,408
and complain about this, this,

1930
00:47:58,408 --> 00:48:00,751
and that, but in reality, no.

1931
00:48:00,781 --> 00:48:01,051
Like.

1932
00:48:01,074 --> 00:48:03,384
My parents, my extended family, my

1933
00:48:03,384 --> 00:48:06,624
immediate family, my husband, my in-laws,

1934
00:48:06,772 --> 00:48:08,542
they're actually really good to me.

1935
00:48:08,777 --> 00:48:09,647
really lucky.

1936
00:48:09,894 --> 00:48:10,421
Yeah.

1937
00:48:10,421 --> 00:48:10,422
Yeah.

1938
00:48:10,841 --> 00:48:11,111
Mm-hmm.

1939
00:48:11,531 --> 00:48:12,161
That's awesome.

1940
00:48:19,422 --> 00:48:21,456
All right, let's end on some

1941
00:48:21,456 --> 00:48:23,916
weekly confessions here.

1942
00:48:23,916 --> 00:48:24,696
I've been on a high note.

1943
00:48:25,405 --> 00:48:26,925
I mean, we'll say these confessions

1944
00:48:26,925 --> 00:48:29,000
go, but we can, I know you're fine.

1945
00:48:29,302 --> 00:48:29,692
Okay.

1946
00:48:29,955 --> 00:48:32,052
my husband's mom walked around,

1947
00:48:32,052 --> 00:48:33,252
I'm guessing at their wedding,

1948
00:48:33,312 --> 00:48:34,782
telling everyone she wasn't

1949
00:48:34,782 --> 00:48:35,952
taking pictures with me.

1950
00:48:35,952 --> 00:48:36,012
I

1951
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:38,819
Why?

1952
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:41,389
What bit, why deliberately do that though?

1953
00:48:41,569 --> 00:48:43,549
You just want someone to ask questions.

1954
00:48:43,549 --> 00:48:45,725
Like, why, why don't you like her?

1955
00:48:45,995 --> 00:48:46,655
Yes.

1956
00:48:46,715 --> 00:48:47,795
She's evil.

1957
00:48:47,825 --> 00:48:48,174
what is it?

1958
00:48:48,174 --> 00:48:48,984
Momzilla?

1959
00:48:49,255 --> 00:48:49,817
Yeah.

1960
00:48:50,074 --> 00:48:50,567
Yeah.

1961
00:48:50,687 --> 00:48:52,350
Mm. Monster in-law.

1962
00:48:52,717 --> 00:48:53,197
Monster.

1963
00:48:53,202 --> 00:48:54,080
That's what it is.

1964
00:48:54,260 --> 00:48:55,154
why are they like that?

1965
00:48:55,450 --> 00:48:57,460
this one says, I wish I'd had the guts to

1966
00:48:57,460 --> 00:49:00,520
tell my bestie not to bring his attention.

1967
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:01,960
Seeking girlfriend.

1968
00:49:02,257 --> 00:49:02,497
Oof.

1969
00:49:02,870 --> 00:49:04,160
That's complicated.

1970
00:49:04,407 --> 00:49:05,797
That's complicated.

1971
00:49:05,797 --> 00:49:05,798
Complicated.

1972
00:49:06,110 --> 00:49:07,040
We'll leave it at that.

1973
00:49:07,550 --> 00:49:08,270
Yeah.

1974
00:49:08,507 --> 00:49:09,470
I just read a story.

1975
00:49:09,470 --> 00:49:11,330
I think it's coming out in a well, by

1976
00:49:11,330 --> 00:49:12,710
the time your episode comes out, it'll

1977
00:49:12,710 --> 00:49:15,450
already be out, but it's a similar story.

1978
00:49:15,510 --> 00:49:17,130
Well, I mean, this one's really short, but

1979
00:49:17,340 --> 00:49:19,844
where it's like a guy, girl best friend.

1980
00:49:19,874 --> 00:49:21,044
They like say best friends for years

1981
00:49:21,044 --> 00:49:22,634
through marriage and like kids.

1982
00:49:22,854 --> 00:49:22,944
Mm-hmm.

1983
00:49:23,254 --> 00:49:24,904
on her side, marriage and kids.

1984
00:49:25,017 --> 00:49:26,277
And then when he goes to get married,

1985
00:49:26,277 --> 00:49:28,497
it's like a girl that like hates her

1986
00:49:28,720 --> 00:49:30,314
and it's like this weird relationship.

1987
00:49:30,314 --> 00:49:31,154
And so like, I feel like that's

1988
00:49:31,196 --> 00:49:33,612
complicated and it's like, hmm.

1989
00:49:33,912 --> 00:49:34,212
Okay.

1990
00:49:34,546 --> 00:49:35,709
Last confession.

1991
00:49:35,739 --> 00:49:37,929
My flower girl was absolutely

1992
00:49:37,959 --> 00:49:39,759
out of control at my wedding.

1993
00:49:39,966 --> 00:49:41,382
Her parents did nothing.

1994
00:49:41,642 --> 00:49:43,002
Watch your kids.

1995
00:49:43,226 --> 00:49:43,484
Ugh.

1996
00:49:44,055 --> 00:49:45,588
I get that.

1997
00:49:45,838 --> 00:49:47,281
Like a kid's gonna be a kid.

1998
00:49:47,418 --> 00:49:49,957
Sure, but you gotta watch your kids.

1999
00:49:50,197 --> 00:49:51,427
a kid's gonna be a kid, but

2000
00:49:51,427 --> 00:49:52,657
the parent has to be a parent.

2001
00:49:52,657 --> 00:49:53,677
Like you wanted a kid,

2002
00:49:53,677 --> 00:49:54,697
you gotta parent the kid.

2003
00:49:54,937 --> 00:49:56,374
That's one of the biggest things I see

2004
00:49:56,374 --> 00:49:58,634
is like the kids aren't the problem.

2005
00:49:58,694 --> 00:49:59,684
It's when the parents don't

2006
00:49:59,684 --> 00:50:00,854
watch the kids at the wedding.

2007
00:50:00,854 --> 00:50:01,544
That's the problem.

2008
00:50:01,882 --> 00:50:03,271
all circumstances, right?

2009
00:50:03,271 --> 00:50:03,901
It's like.

2010
00:50:04,183 --> 00:50:06,514
I could go to a restaurant with my

2011
00:50:06,514 --> 00:50:09,633
child and she could pick up like a box

2012
00:50:09,633 --> 00:50:11,163
of creams and just throw it all over.

2013
00:50:11,163 --> 00:50:11,943
And I just look at them.

2014
00:50:11,943 --> 00:50:12,603
I'm like, whatever.

2015
00:50:12,603 --> 00:50:13,173
She's a kid.

2016
00:50:13,362 --> 00:50:14,456
Or I'm like, no, we're

2017
00:50:14,456 --> 00:50:15,146
gonna get on the floor.

2018
00:50:15,146 --> 00:50:16,016
We're gonna pick 'em up.

2019
00:50:16,016 --> 00:50:16,377
Right, right.

2020
00:50:16,382 --> 00:50:18,481
And so it's like showing her, was just

2021
00:50:18,481 --> 00:50:19,411
telling my husband, like, we were at

2022
00:50:19,411 --> 00:50:21,219
the library and like I don't want this

2023
00:50:21,219 --> 00:50:22,779
to come off like I'm judging because

2024
00:50:23,013 --> 00:50:24,579
we've all been in situations where

2025
00:50:24,579 --> 00:50:26,229
like, we've left a place and we're just

2026
00:50:26,229 --> 00:50:27,754
like, wait, did I pick up whatever?

2027
00:50:28,029 --> 00:50:29,621
But like, we were at the library

2028
00:50:29,621 --> 00:50:31,901
and this little boy's just throwing

2029
00:50:31,901 --> 00:50:33,671
stuff, like literally throwing

2030
00:50:33,856 --> 00:50:35,086
there's like a crate of toys.

2031
00:50:35,303 --> 00:50:36,466
He's in there throwing it.

2032
00:50:36,706 --> 00:50:37,576
The mom's like kind of

2033
00:50:37,576 --> 00:50:38,986
around, kind of on her phone.

2034
00:50:38,986 --> 00:50:40,216
Phone, yeah.

2035
00:50:40,426 --> 00:50:41,003
Walking around.

2036
00:50:41,056 --> 00:50:42,733
and then she finally sees him and I'm

2037
00:50:42,733 --> 00:50:44,673
there with like my friend and our, kids

2038
00:50:44,673 --> 00:50:46,083
and we're like reading a book to them.

2039
00:50:46,333 --> 00:50:47,479
And he's throwing stuff.

2040
00:50:47,479 --> 00:50:48,409
It's like hitting the girls and

2041
00:50:48,409 --> 00:50:49,519
I'm like just kind of grabbing it.

2042
00:50:49,519 --> 00:50:50,299
I'm like, oh, ha ha.

2043
00:50:50,299 --> 00:50:51,663
Like trying to make light of it.

2044
00:50:51,889 --> 00:50:53,233
She walks over, finally sees him and

2045
00:50:53,233 --> 00:50:54,913
she's like, oh, you made a mess over here.

2046
00:50:54,913 --> 00:50:56,353
So I'm thinking she's gonna sit there

2047
00:50:56,353 --> 00:50:57,703
and be like, this is how we clean up.

2048
00:50:57,919 --> 00:50:59,133
All of a sudden they're just gone

2049
00:50:59,413 --> 00:51:00,223
they're on the other side of the

2050
00:51:00,223 --> 00:51:01,393
library, so they're still there.

2051
00:51:01,543 --> 00:51:02,555
Like, Hey, you got this, or

2052
00:51:02,853 --> 00:51:03,273
Thank you.

2053
00:51:03,453 --> 00:51:05,126
Literally it was like, you're fine.

2054
00:51:05,156 --> 00:51:06,673
And then like a minute later, then he's

2055
00:51:06,673 --> 00:51:08,173
like pulling books off the shelves and

2056
00:51:08,173 --> 00:51:09,703
he was like old enough to know better.

2057
00:51:09,703 --> 00:51:11,428
Like it wasn't like a one or 2-year-old.

2058
00:51:11,428 --> 00:51:12,103
Yeah, and so it was one of

2059
00:51:12,103 --> 00:51:12,793
those things where I'm just

2060
00:51:12,793 --> 00:51:14,023
like, kids are gonna be kids.

2061
00:51:14,130 --> 00:51:14,653
Absolutely.

2062
00:51:14,653 --> 00:51:16,423
Like I would never fault a kid for like

2063
00:51:16,453 --> 00:51:18,043
throwing stuff or like pulling books

2064
00:51:18,043 --> 00:51:19,763
off, but it's like, take that risk step.

2065
00:51:19,763 --> 00:51:21,194
So that is kind of the risk you

2066
00:51:21,284 --> 00:51:22,814
have with having a flower girl, but

2067
00:51:22,814 --> 00:51:24,950
also like the parents are there.

2068
00:51:25,224 --> 00:51:25,684
Yeah.

2069
00:51:25,894 --> 00:51:26,824
Step in a little bit.

2070
00:51:27,107 --> 00:51:27,454
Yeah.

2071
00:51:27,670 --> 00:51:29,494
And moving forward your next wedding.

2072
00:51:29,494 --> 00:51:32,546
No, but like, just a tip for other people

2073
00:51:32,546 --> 00:51:35,650
is like having guidelines for the parents.

2074
00:51:35,650 --> 00:51:37,523
Like, Hey, she's a little young.

2075
00:51:37,523 --> 00:51:39,023
could you, like, if you see her maybe

2076
00:51:39,023 --> 00:51:40,930
like doing this or that, could you

2077
00:51:40,930 --> 00:51:42,881
kind of redirect her and help her out?

2078
00:51:43,088 --> 00:51:43,911
That would be like a good

2079
00:51:43,911 --> 00:51:44,991
conversation to have.

2080
00:51:45,221 --> 00:51:45,411
Yeah.

2081
00:51:45,411 --> 00:51:46,071
Definitely.

2082
00:51:46,384 --> 00:51:46,761
All right.

2083
00:51:46,761 --> 00:51:49,371
Well that is all we have for this week.

2084
00:51:49,948 --> 00:51:52,118
what exciting things do you want to share?

2085
00:51:52,421 --> 00:51:53,202
what's going on?

2086
00:51:53,742 --> 00:51:55,482
I'm going to Norway.

2087
00:51:55,717 --> 00:51:57,078
I'm so excited for you.

2088
00:51:57,798 --> 00:51:58,368
You knew that.

2089
00:51:58,641 --> 00:51:58,978
Yeah.

2090
00:51:59,241 --> 00:52:01,068
If you didn't know that, I did know that.

2091
00:52:01,248 --> 00:52:02,178
That'd be really bad.

2092
00:52:02,474 --> 00:52:03,914
Thank you so much for coming on.

2093
00:52:04,124 --> 00:52:04,844
It's always so funny.

2094
00:52:04,844 --> 00:52:06,087
You know, it's fun.

2095
00:52:06,431 --> 00:52:07,751
this was like three months

2096
00:52:08,048 --> 00:52:09,308
Oh, you came on last fall.

2097
00:52:09,368 --> 00:52:09,788
Remember?

2098
00:52:10,046 --> 00:52:10,555
Yes.

2099
00:52:10,555 --> 00:52:11,515
Before you even

2100
00:52:11,515 --> 00:52:12,655
had a podcast.

2101
00:52:12,851 --> 00:52:13,332
Yeah, we

2102
00:52:13,337 --> 00:52:14,186
got this last year.

2103
00:52:14,531 --> 00:52:15,881
We like did it in the future.

2104
00:52:16,155 --> 00:52:17,955
all right, well, I guess this is it.

2105
00:52:18,075 --> 00:52:18,615
Thanks for having me.

2106
00:52:18,615 --> 00:52:19,575
How do we say goodbye?

2107
00:52:19,805 --> 00:52:21,028
I'll see you soon in person.

2108
00:52:21,028 --> 00:52:21,778
Can't wait.

2109
00:52:22,008 --> 00:52:22,218
Oh, yeah.

2110
00:52:22,218 --> 00:52:23,118
I'll see you next weekend.