Caitlin Van Mol: This episode contains descriptions of

violence. Listener discretion is advised. This episode is also

the first international interview I've done for this

show, which is really cool, but also means I couldn't send a

microphone out. So just want to say I did my best with the audio

here. Okay,

Peter: here's the show, because he certainly didn't want to be

charged with a murder

Caitlin Van Mol: in 2008 Peter Brandt was living on Whitby

Island, which is just north of Seattle, Washington,

Peter: and the only in and out was by ferry. I was a commercial

real estate investor, managing apartments and acquiring

properties. I had purchased a home that was in need of

completing a Boeing and Microsoft couple had worked over

the years on weekends, fixing up this house, and it didn't have

any interior finishes. It had plumbing but no electrical. It

had a roof and it had landscaping, and nobody could

get financing for it, but with my expertise and my real estate

license and so on, the bank agreed that I was capable of

managing the project, and they loaned me the money with

Caitlin Van Mol: financing secured, Peter needed to find

someone to actually do the work. While I was

Peter: preparing to find a builder or contractor to assist

me on the project, Brent Decker was working with a local friend

of mine on replacing a floor the bedroom. And as I was there, he

was doing the work, we kind of hit it off. And at some point,

you know, he he realized that I had a house that I was going to

fix up, and so he wanted to see it. And I took him over there,

and he had all kinds of ideas. And he turned out to be quite

dynamic. He showed me a portfolio that was had custom

homes that he had done in in California, and they were really

tasteful. He put me on the phone one time when he was talking to

this guy who you know, and he he was a reference, and he said,

you know, this guy is, is really, really good. He's done a

lot of work for me. He's like a master builder. He can design

without a plan and build it right then and there. I mean,

custom cabinetry and sound systems. He was a renaissance

man. What did he look like? You know, he looked a little a

little bit skittish at time 10, he was a motor mouth. I mean, he

he would, he could talk on any subject. I said to myself, This

guy's a cross between Michelangelo and Da Vinci.

Caitlin Van Mol: Once they got electricity working, Peter moved

in and lived there full time while work was still being

completed on the house.

Peter: And not only that, it turned out, in conversation with

him that he had worked as a chef at one time. So he said, Man, I

love working for you, with you so much, I'm going to bless you

with my cooking. And it really was fantastic. You know, it was

certainly a bonus having them around, you know, it wasn't

something that you expect from your contractor.

Caitlin Van Mol: Yeah, I wouldn't expect to be fed

dinner,

Peter: but it was taking them some time to, you know, because

he was coming from, I'm going to say, you know, maybe 50 miles

away, including a ferry trip. And if there was traffic, which,

you know, there usually was, then it would really limit the

amount of time that he had to work, you know. And so finally,

you know, I said, you know, wouldn't it make sense? How

about if you stayed here a couple nights a week so we could

get more production done? And he said, some reason he was going

to have to to move. But he told me, you know, it'd be, it'd be

better if I just lived here and you know, there, there'd be no

commute at any time. We just get her, get her done. And I said,

Okay, that's that works for me.

Caitlin Van Mol: So Brent moved in to finish the job, but

letting Brent this far into Peter's life would change

everything. This is lived to tell the podcast where I talk to

some of the bravest people who have been through the most

horrifying things and lived to tell the tale. I'm Caitlin Van

Mol I just want to ask about what your relationship with him

is. Are you friends? Do you guys hang outside of the house?

Peter: Well, we would mainly just to get supplies and

everything. I I generally wouldn't, wouldn't socialize

with him, you know, because I had to keep. A as best I could,

a business relationship. So we didn't hang out all the time

together, but we might take a trip, you know, about 45 minute

trip to a Home Depot, get supplies, you know, run some

errands and and then

Caitlin Van Mol: drive back to the friendly, but not friends,

Peter: yeah, that would be a good description. And then in

the evenings, he would do art and play his artwork. And it

seemed like he was he'd stay up a good part of the night. And

you know, I thought, God, that's kind of weird. I hear movement

around at night. Well, I can't really sleep that well. And you

know, I hope I'm not disturbing you. And then another thing was

when the Mormons would proselytize in the area, and

when they would come to the door, he would engage them with

questions that they would have to go to Salt Lake City

administrators to answer. And like, what? Like, you know, what

is the Mormon Church's perspective on anything, you

know, abortion and this and that, and then he was a good

debater. So eventually, like, three or four of them were

coming at a time, you know, because they were really serious

about answering every question he had, and he loved it. And by

the end, you know, there, I think the one day, there was

five people. And he said, he told them before they came, he

said, Look, I've been listening to you now for several months.

And he he'd gone to a potluck dinner at the Mormon church with

them. And you know, they were friendly towards each other, but

they came and, you know, for the final time, and he said, I I'm

gonna perform a concert for you, because, you know, you're

always, you know, telling me your philosophies and, you know,

the religious parts of it. And so he got on his guitar, he had

an amp set up in the living room, and he actually played a

concert for him. And it was just surreal. I'm going, this is just

weird.

Caitlin Van Mol: What kind of music did he play? It was,

Peter: it was some kind of rock and roll, you know. I mean, it

was really heavy, you know, probably nearing on heavy metal

electric guitar.

Caitlin Van Mol: Yes, famously, the Mormons favorite heavy metal

Peter: can you imagine the picture? I mean, I actually went

outside at some point, because it was just like, this is over

the top for me.

Caitlin Van Mol: But once the work was complete, Brent didn't

seem to be in a hurry to move on.

Peter: The project was already complete, and I was trying to

point him towards, okay, now you know it's time, you know it's

time for you to move on. The project's done. He had fallen in

love with my H I had an HD video camera that he really liked, and

he liked working with me, and he wanted to shoot vignettes of

Whidbey Island to sell to people that wanted to retire there so

they could actually feel what the island was like and the

beauty and so on. And he was really good at it, but I didn't

want him living there anymore. So I, you know, I had told him,

you know, okay, you need to start looking. I didn't want to

push it too hard, but, you know, I was in the process of saying,

Okay, it's time

Caitlin Van Mol: to move along. Was he paying rent at all?

Peter: He didn't pay rent. Hmm,

Caitlin Van Mol: was that ever discussed?

Peter: No, I didn't. I don't know whether he would have

agreed to that, but my you know, when you're working with a bank,

you don't want to be slow on on the project. So I wanted to be

able to show progress and not not have them question. You

know, the viability of the project, by

Caitlin Van Mol: June 11, 2008 Brent had really worn out his

welcome.

Peter: He had been a woman on the bus on the island, and he

told me that day, man, I met this gal, and I think she's

pretty cool. She's quite special. Then I think a day or

so later, he said, Hey, would you mind if my gal came over

and, you know, so she could see the project? I said, No, that'd

be fine. So she lived in Seattle, which was about an hour

away, and and, you know, well, would it be okay if she spent

the night? Okay? You know, I met her, and she was very nice, and

everything was cool. She stayed the night, and in the morning,

I'm hearing Stern, almost arguing, I guess that you would

call it, and to the point where I said, Excuse me, but you can't

raise your voice here. In my house, so one of you is going to

have to step out. Well, she agreed to step out, and while

she was outside, I told her, I said, I think that you better

go, and I would suggest that you don't come back here. This guy's

being a little over aggressive with you, and I don't want that

to happen in my house. And I said, I'm on my I'm going to be

on my way soon here to go to my real estate office, which is

right near the ferry dock, so I'll be glad to drop you out

there. She said, Okay. And then I went back in the house, and

there he was, and he said, she's probably going to ask you for a

ride to the ferry dock. And, you know, I didn't acknowledge that

she had done that. Instead, she got her things and got in my car

and we went on the way to the ferry, and along the way, I got

a phone call from him on my cell phone, and he said, Peter, your

HD video camera is missing, and we both were using it. And so,

you know, essentially, you know, I'm acknowledging that. You

know, both of us know that it was there this morning, so you

need to check her belongings. I first explained to her, you

know, what was going on, and she she agreed to be checked, and I

didn't come up with anything. So I said, took her to the ferry

and dropped her off, and she got on the ferry, and off she went.

The next thing was that I, instead of going to my real

estate office, as I had intended, I felt as if I needed

to settle the camera situation with Brent back at the house. So

I drive back, I go walk in the door, and he goes, would you Did

you find anything? I said, No. I said, she said she didn't have

it. You say you don't know where it is. And I said, I'm going to

do what people do when they're in a situation like that, is,

I'm just going to have the police investigate it,

Caitlin Van Mol: bringing up, going to the police. Snapped

something in Brent when

Peter: I said that, all of a sudden, I was hit multiple,

multiple times with about a three foot piece of hardwood. In

fact, it was coming at me so fast, over my head and my

shoulders and my body that I couldn't even put together what

was happening. It just was a moment that you know, what is

this? Why? And I passed out, and I don't know how long I was out,

but when I came to I thought, this is a very dangerous moment.

What am I going to do? I have got to be as creative as I've

ever been in my life, and I'm going to have to extricate

myself with this. So I thought, well, I'll just run next door to

a neighbor.

Caitlin Van Mol: Where are you in the house? At this point,

we're in an on an

Peter: upper floor, and there's a stairway nearby, and we tussle

going down a staircase to the kitchen, and I can't seem to get

out of his grip. And when he gets me to the kitchen, he puts

me in a position on my back, where I'm next to the set of

drawers that had a cutlery drawer, and he pulls out a two

pronged Turkey fork, and he's just about ready to drive it

through my heart. He's got it over his head. And I said, Is

there any reason why somebody needs to die here? I said, we

both have sons. I'd certainly want to see my son. I'm sure

you'd want to see yours too. I said, I will I forgive you and I

will help you in any way I can. That was my light bulb moment. I

thought, you know, when I was thinking about how to handle

this, I thought, I'll forgive him.

Caitlin Van Mol: What made you say that I

Peter: I knew that there was a good possibility that I was

going to be killed, because I there was no way that he could

have predicted that I would live with how hard he was hitting me.

I mean, I had head injuries. I could feel where I'd been hit on

the shoulders. I had to do something unusual, and I was

afraid to be physically violent. Because, even if, if I could

have, because I, in my mind, I pictured being in a courtroom,

and it's my word against his, and he's dead, and how do I

explain that to somebody? I just wanted to resolve this without

physical you know, any more? Physical conflict. And so when I

told him I forgave him, his eyes went from the look of the devil.

Have you ever seen that in someone where they just look

like the devil has temporarily got a hold of him? That's what

he looked like. And when I said, I forgive you, he melted, and

late later, he told me. He said, If you hadn't forgiven me, I

would have killed you, because no one in my life has ever

forgiven me. Turned out, you know, I found out later that, I

think by about age 12, he was living on the street is he felt

the need to go on his own at that age, so he was apparently

street wise and and could certainly take care of himself.

Caitlin Van Mol: But street smarts can only take you so far

after you've attacked your employer and now have to deal

with a mess of blood all over the house.

Peter: He sit back, and he goes, this is a heinous crime. You

looked around and said, We gotta, we've gotta get out of

here. And I said, Well, you know, I've got somebody that's,

you know, that's coming over, and I'm not sure exactly when.

And he said, Hey, if anybody walks in this house or knocks at

the door there, they will be killed, and I'm going to bury

him under the patio deck. I'm like, Whoa, let's get out of

here to them, because I really don't want anybody else to have

to go through this. Yeah, he took me up to the upstairs

bathroom, and He nursed my wounds. He he had a first aid

kit. He cleaned, you know, head injuries with alcohol and

wrapped my head. It's like, God, one minute you're, you know,

you're this evil person, and the next minute you're, you're

nursing my wound. It was kind of hard to wrap my head around that

Caitlin Van Mol: Peter was doing his best to be cooperative.

Brent was being nice now, but obviously could become violent

any second while in the bathroom, Brent put zip ties

around Peter's ankles and wrists,

Peter: and he said, I'm going to take all my tools and all my

belongings and I'm going to put him in your van. And then he

said, we're going to go on the run. I'm going to hand you off

somebody in California. It's like some bikers or so, and then

I'll go into Mexico, and then I'll have them hand me off to

him, and then we'll be on the run in Mexico together. And I'm

like, holy shit. How's this gonna work? Yeah, I don't know

what to expect.

Caitlin Van Mol: It took Brent about an hour to pack everything

and load it into the van.

Peter: Eventually, he takes me out to the van, and there's the

van is, you know, is full of tools and his belongings, but

there's a shape in the middle of the cargo area that is about the

size of my body. I thought, Oh no, so I had to, I lay on my

back and he's going to drive the highway access to avoid the

ferry because he's afraid I might scream or yell when we're

on the ferry. So we, we our first stop is at a bank where he

demands my debit card and my pen, and he takes $500

Caitlin Van Mol: then Brent started driving south, out of

Washington and into California.

Peter: We started. We drove all night, and I was familiar with

highway 101, which is fairly desolate, and I kind of played,

I knew personally that I could open the van even if it was

locked from the inside. Then I thought, you know, middle of the

night, and I'm going to jump out of the van, and then, you know

what, if he catches up with me, and then certainly I'll be

finished if he catches me. So I thought, Okay, I'll just go with

the flow here, and I'm hoping that he's speeding, you know, so

that we maybe we could be stopped by a police why it's

Caitlin Van Mol: going through your mind? Because this is hours

and hours. I

Peter: am incredibly relaxed. I'm almost in a state of, I

would call it Nirvana, you know, I just was relaxed. I wasn't

gonna worry, you know, it's gonna, you know, there will be a

positive outcome. And I realized that anybody else that might be

in this position might be screaming, crying, yelling, you

know, and probably end up doing something stupid that will end

up having, you know, having you ended, yeah, so I don't know

where that came from, but people. Have told me in the past

that, you know, there could be a fire, they say, and you would be

the calmest person in the room.

Caitlin Van Mol: Peter started formulating a plan to get

himself out of this situation.

Peter: My next strategy was to feign near death. I was moaning

and grown, and it turned out to be quite effective. He stopped

at a gas station and he bought vitamins and he brought me

water. And again, that was that catch 22 thing where here's this

guy that's been your perpetrator is now aiding you in some way,

very confusing, but he says, I know a nurse along this highway,

and he said, I want to have her check your condition, because he

was afraid, you know, I was going to die based On my my

behavior, right? And so he says, Okay, we're here. I'm gonna run

in there and I'll be right back out. And when he came out, he

said, she won't see you for ethical reasons. So she says,

Just get him to a hospital. So he said, we're gonna go to

Sacramento, and I'm gonna drop off all my gear. I'm gonna leave

it with a mini storage and then we'll go straight to the

hospital after

Caitlin Van Mol: that. And shockingly, that's exactly what

they did.

Peter: And I think within 15 or 20 minutes, we were at UC Davis,

California. He stops next to the hospital parking lot. He's

driving, you know, my van. He's got my cell phone, he's got my

wallet. He says, I'm going to be monitoring my warrant, so don't

turn me in, but I'm going to let you go. You give me a 15 minute

head start, and after 15 minutes, you can go into the

hospital. And then he hands me all my belongings, and he

disappears.

Caitlin Van Mol: Peter didn't know anything about a warrant

out for Brent, and that was really the least of his worries

at the moment.

Peter: So after 15 minutes, I thought I better, better last

the full 15 minutes here, and after 15 minutes, I got up,

locked the van up, and I stood outside the hospital, and I

called my son. I said, Michael, this is your dad. I'm I'm here

in California. I've been kidnapped on the overnight, and

I've just been released in a hospital. He's like, what? So I

said, but I need to, you know, go get medical care. I just want

to let you know, and I'll be in bone touch with you. So I go

into the hospital, and it's so busy that their patients stacked

up in the hallways. It's crawling with police.

Caitlin Van Mol: When Peter told police the story. They told him

he needed to report the crime in Washington.

Peter: And they extend a hospital spokesperson, and they

come up to me and they say, hey. They said, can we get you a, you

know, book a hotel room for you? And I said, No, I don't want to

be here any longer than I need to, you know? I want to have my

medical assistance, and then I want to go home. Drive home. I

said, Okay, so I was in there probably at 1pm and at 10, just

up around 10 of 10pm I was released. I had staples put in

my head, you know, they they took some X rays and did a bunch

of things.

Caitlin Van Mol: Peter didn't want to stay in the hospital a

single second longer than was necessary, so he left and tried

to find something to eat.

Peter: And I found an Italian restaurant. Man, that sounds

really great. So I parked there and saunter into the restaurant,

but I was still in my my victim clothes. You know, I had blood

spattered clothing. Yeah, I know I now was going on the second

day without shaving,

Caitlin Van Mol: and I'm sure there's blood in your hair. And,

Peter: yeah, and they're just locking the front door. It's,

it's closing time. And the guy looks up at me, and he goes, My

God, what in the world happened to you? And I said, Well, I'm

the victim of a kidnapping, you know. And I shared the story

with him, and he said, Well, it's your lucky day. Dinner's on

us, and we're going to stay open for you. Oh, thank you very

much.

Caitlin Van Mol: After dinner, Peter went to a mall parking lot

for the night,

Peter: and I locked myself in the cargo compartment of the van

under a bright series of street lights, and I sat. My alarm for

5am well,

Caitlin Van Mol: why? Why didn't you stay at a hotel?

Peter: Because I want, I want, you know, I wanted to be with my

kinfolk. Yeah,

Caitlin Van Mol: you know, I don't know. Just instead of

sleeping in your car, I

Peter: wasn't really in the mood to be exploring for anything

other than an Italian restaurant.

Caitlin Van Mol: The next morning, Peter woke up and

started driving home.

Peter: I call my former wife, and she's a great communicator

and really very responsive in emergent situations. And you

know, she says, Look, you need to find a place where you can

buy some clothes, and then you need, before you get to Seattle,

you need to stop at a truck stop, take a shower, change into

new clothes, so you don't brighten your sun. And I'm so

excited to be, you know, headed towards home,

Caitlin Van Mol: but before he could get to a truck stop and

get himself cleaned up, he got pulled over by a police officer.

Peter: He says, Sir, do you know how fast you were driving? And I

said, No, sir, I'm sorry. I'm just, you know, recovering from

a kidnapping, and I wasn't really paying attention my

speedway. Well, you were 30 miles an hour over the speed

limit. And he said, But hold on a second. And he ran back to his

squad car, you know, he rang my ran my ID, and he came back,

back to the car. He goes, get out of here. Go report this, you

know, go to your home area and, you know, report this. And that

was the end of that. So it's just like, Get out of here. Kid,

you know,

Caitlin Van Mol: right? Yeah, I'm sure he saw the state of

you, and was like, I don't want to be,

Peter: yeah, because I was afraid. I was afraid they were,

you know, they wouldn't believe the story. You know that they

did. He did.

Caitlin Van Mol: So Peter kept driving and stopped at a truck

stop to take a quick shower, then drove the rest of the way

to his ex wife's house. How did you feel being back surrounded

by people that you knew and trusted?

Peter: Oh, it's great. I mean, it's what you it's what you

need. I mean, you can imagine, you sort of lose a little sense

of, you know, the hope for mankind. You know when something

like this happens? I mean, the worst. You know that you can

observe the

Caitlin Van Mol: next morning, Peter went to the sheriff's

office to report the kidnapping. Again,

Peter: it's a Saturday morning, and there's hardly anybody at

the counter, and when I finally aroused somebody, the guy says,

Oh, I'm sorry. We can't take a report. The sheriff is home, and

he's asked not to be disturbed. So I can't, I can't contact him.

So I suggest that you would. There's another precinct where

there's one sergeant station about 10 miles from here. So I

suggest you go there, and what I'm like, okay, buddy. Now it's

been a couple of days, and this is a federal crime, and I can't

talk to your sheriff,

Caitlin Van Mol: so Peter drove to the other station to try

again.

Peter: So I drive up to this little precinct, you know, which

is essentially a hole in the wall, and there's this crusty

old sergeant sitting there, you know, after about 10 seconds,

you know, he looks up, what can I do to help you? Well, I wanted

to report a kidnapping, and he said, of who I said, of me. So

he listened to my story, you know, about three minutes of a

story, and he goes, You know what? I don't believe you.

Caitlin Van Mol: Oh my gosh.

Peter: I said, Why don't you, why don't you jump in your

little squad car and follow me out to the house, and I'll show

you the DNA evidence of the crime. How about that? So he

follows me to my house, and we get there, he pulls out a little

Brownie camera, you know, like it looked like it was about 25

years old, you know, no focus or anything. You know, he's taking

pictures of a crime scene. He looks at me very apologetically,

and he says, I believe you now, and I'm very sorry that i He

said, We got people that report the craziest things, and this

had some of the markings So, but it was Saturday. By that time,

he says, I can't get a detective out here for until Tuesday. So

he says, take this form and fill out a report and bring that, you

know, hand it over to the detective when you meet on

Tuesdays.

Caitlin Van Mol: Does crime just not happen there on weekends?

Like, why is no one working?

Peter: The light isn't on, you know? I mean, in other words, if

it happened in Seattle, you know, I was told that, you know,

there would have been all kinds of advocacy, but, but there.

Sure it's like, you know, Sorry, we're closed.

Caitlin Van Mol: So finally, on a weekday, Peter was able to

meet with a detective.

Peter: On Tuesday, I get a call from the detective, and he goes,

you want to meet at your house? Or I said, How about if we meet

at a coffee shop? And so, you know, 20 minutes later, we're

sitting over a cup of coffee, and I tell him the story, and he

goes, I got one answer for this. What's that? F, B, I. They go,

really? They happen to have an office in Everett, Washington,

which was just across the Puget Sound. So they were just there.

Oh, and it was a moment where you were just proud to be an

American, because they were collecting DNA. And he said, he

said, Do you know how lucky you are? Normally, when we

investigate a kidnapping, we're we're sifting through evidence.

There's no person to talk to Yeah, that person was dead, and

he said, This is a movie. You've got to make sure this makes it

to the movie screen.

Caitlin Van Mol: If this was a movie, the investigation

probably would be wrapped up in a neat little bow in a few days.

But in reality, it took nearly two and a half years to catch

Brent. Even though the FBI was actively looking for him, Peter

didn't feel safe with him still out there.

Peter: The last thing he told me is, you know, if you report me,

I'll be monitoring my warrants, and if, if you report me, I'll

either kill you, or have you killed? You understand that. So

during that time, here I am on this island, and anytime

somebody would knock on the door, or I'd receive a phone

call, you know, where there wasn't anybody on the other end

of the line, I would just sweat. You know, it just made me very

anxious. Later, I realized I was diagnosed as having PTSD from

the incident.

Caitlin Van Mol: When did you first start experiencing

symptoms?

Peter: Well, right away. I mean, I had been working in a real

estate office on my own account. I was investing in multifamily

properties. I was managing my portfolio. And when I would go

into that office, you know, I'm just, I just, I'm sitting there

in the office, and I'm just thinking, what's it all about

Alfie? It's like, what's important? I mean, the only

things that are important are human relationships and doing

the right thing. And, you know, living your life with honor and

all the rest is just cake decoration, right? I was so

anxious I couldn't sit in that real estate office and pretend

like I cared about the work, because it didn't really matter.

Coincidentally, the world downturn was happening. Yeah,

this is 2008 Yeah, at the same time. So fortunately, I've been

able to sell my properties when they were at the peak of the

market, so I had funds to live on, and I could live throughout

the entire economic counter. Otherwise I would have had a

double whammy. I would have been dealing with my PTSD and trying

to figure out how to work. It took two and a half years to

catch this guy. The FBI finally caught him in the act.

Caitlin Van Mol: Brent was arrested in California for

failing to register as a sex offender. According to court

reports, Brent had committed three armed robberies and

attempted to escape from prison before he entered his 20s. After

Brent was released from prison for the robberies. He raped and

strangled his wife. His wife survived the ordeal, and Brent

returned to prison upon his release. This time, Brent needed

to register as a sex offender, which he did not when he was

arrested after kidnapping Peter. It had been his third time

failing to register. Brent pled guilty to the kidnapping.

Peter: You know, eventually they say, you know, he's, he's

admitted to this thing, and he's, he's willing to cop a

plea. And, you know, I asked him, I said, I don't really want

to go to a hearing. I don't want I don't have anything to do with

them. I don't want to see him. They said, Well, we've got to

deal with him. He'll serve 14 and a half years. And I said,

Okay, let's go ahead and do that, and I don't want to attend

the proceeding. And they said, Okay, that's fine.

Caitlin Van Mol: Why didn't you want to go?

Peter: I just didn't need, you know, I'd already experienced

the crime. There just was no need to be there other than

maybe for some kind of ego gratification. But I didn't need

that, right? So why go? I think the guy was about maybe 38 years

old, and they, you know, they, the judge said, you know, by the

time he's released from prison, he'll be, you know, an aging

man, and all the piss and vinegar will probably be out of

them.

Caitlin Van Mol: Brent Decker is still in federal prison, but

Peter still had to live with the consequences of what happened to

him, which included the need for a new job.

Peter: You know, the state asked me, What can we do for you?

Okay, I need to be connected, reconnected with a vocation

where I can do something that's doesn't make me anxious, and one

of the first places they referred me to was Starbucks was

offering a position. And I'm going, when I go at a Starbucks

and I see people ordering, you know, double double latte with

cornstarch whip, I'm like, There's no way I can keep up

with all those descriptions. I said I'd last there about one

day. The good thing about it was I got there was a counselor

there with the state that was really understanding the

situation. What they gave me was understanding and communication

with the seriousness of what had happened and how to, you know,

build back and and that really helped. Because, you know, even

from people that I knew, you know, some people were like, Why

can't you just get over this, you know, like, somehow you can

just, you know, unplug a circuit, and then, you know, the

whole thing goes away. There has to be some grieving period.

Caitlin Van Mol: Yeah, you have to kind of come to terms with

this whole new life.

Peter: Yeah. So one that was really helpful, the state had

recommended, you know, that I there was a job fair that I

should go to, and I meet this lady who was, she said she

represented the Mormon church and that they had an employment

agency. And she says you don't need to be religious to be part

of our service. And she says it's a worldwide network, and we

have a global curriculum. They had a classroom computers, and

that every they would meet every single weekday, and there would

be a couple people from the agency there. And so that that

structure really helped me in a time where, you know, I was

struggling to find, you know how to

Unknown: cope. What did you do for work? I had an associate

Peter: that was a also a property owner, and so I, I was

involved in managing some of the properties, and then I also did

some work at Home Depot and Macy's as a cashier. Okay, you

know it was, it wasn't, it didn't fulfill who I was, but it

was, you know, a routine. And you know, I could go through the

motions

Caitlin Van Mol: while his routine was really helpful for

Peter to manage his PTSD, something would come along that

would completely disrupt that

Peter: love. Ultimately, I met a woman that was Filipino and is

very understanding and has a lot of empathy, and we turned out to

be a great match. So I, I ended up retiring at age 63 you know,

we had decided to marry, and then I was able to leave the US

and put all this behind me today.

Caitlin Van Mol: Peter happily lives in the Philippines with

his wife, and

Peter: then I got involved with Zumba, of all things. Oh, I was

told, you know, you really, you really enjoy this. If you like

music and you want to dance, you're gonna love this. Okay,

I'll give it a try. The Zumba takes place in the local malls,

and it's actually entertainment at the mall. Oh, so I'm dancing.

I'm dancing, like with 100 Filipino women, and then there's

me.

Caitlin Van Mol: This is live to tell. I'm Caitlin Van Mol you

can follow the show on Instagram and Tiktok at live to tell

podcast. If you enjoy today's episode, please rate, review and

subscribe. It really helps the show. I'll see you in two weeks.

You.