Caitlin Van Mol: This episode contains descriptions of
violence. Listener discretion is advised. This episode is also
the first international interview I've done for this
show, which is really cool, but also means I couldn't send a
microphone out. So just want to say I did my best with the audio
here. Okay,
Peter: here's the show, because he certainly didn't want to be
charged with a murder
Caitlin Van Mol: in 2008 Peter Brandt was living on Whitby
Island, which is just north of Seattle, Washington,
Peter: and the only in and out was by ferry. I was a commercial
real estate investor, managing apartments and acquiring
properties. I had purchased a home that was in need of
completing a Boeing and Microsoft couple had worked over
the years on weekends, fixing up this house, and it didn't have
any interior finishes. It had plumbing but no electrical. It
had a roof and it had landscaping, and nobody could
get financing for it, but with my expertise and my real estate
license and so on, the bank agreed that I was capable of
managing the project, and they loaned me the money with
Caitlin Van Mol: financing secured, Peter needed to find
someone to actually do the work. While I was
Peter: preparing to find a builder or contractor to assist
me on the project, Brent Decker was working with a local friend
of mine on replacing a floor the bedroom. And as I was there, he
was doing the work, we kind of hit it off. And at some point,
you know, he he realized that I had a house that I was going to
fix up, and so he wanted to see it. And I took him over there,
and he had all kinds of ideas. And he turned out to be quite
dynamic. He showed me a portfolio that was had custom
homes that he had done in in California, and they were really
tasteful. He put me on the phone one time when he was talking to
this guy who you know, and he he was a reference, and he said,
you know, this guy is, is really, really good. He's done a
lot of work for me. He's like a master builder. He can design
without a plan and build it right then and there. I mean,
custom cabinetry and sound systems. He was a renaissance
man. What did he look like? You know, he looked a little a
little bit skittish at time 10, he was a motor mouth. I mean, he
he would, he could talk on any subject. I said to myself, This
guy's a cross between Michelangelo and Da Vinci.
Caitlin Van Mol: Once they got electricity working, Peter moved
in and lived there full time while work was still being
completed on the house.
Peter: And not only that, it turned out, in conversation with
him that he had worked as a chef at one time. So he said, Man, I
love working for you, with you so much, I'm going to bless you
with my cooking. And it really was fantastic. You know, it was
certainly a bonus having them around, you know, it wasn't
something that you expect from your contractor.
Caitlin Van Mol: Yeah, I wouldn't expect to be fed
dinner,
Peter: but it was taking them some time to, you know, because
he was coming from, I'm going to say, you know, maybe 50 miles
away, including a ferry trip. And if there was traffic, which,
you know, there usually was, then it would really limit the
amount of time that he had to work, you know. And so finally,
you know, I said, you know, wouldn't it make sense? How
about if you stayed here a couple nights a week so we could
get more production done? And he said, some reason he was going
to have to to move. But he told me, you know, it'd be, it'd be
better if I just lived here and you know, there, there'd be no
commute at any time. We just get her, get her done. And I said,
Okay, that's that works for me.
Caitlin Van Mol: So Brent moved in to finish the job, but
letting Brent this far into Peter's life would change
everything. This is lived to tell the podcast where I talk to
some of the bravest people who have been through the most
horrifying things and lived to tell the tale. I'm Caitlin Van
Mol I just want to ask about what your relationship with him
is. Are you friends? Do you guys hang outside of the house?
Peter: Well, we would mainly just to get supplies and
everything. I I generally wouldn't, wouldn't socialize
with him, you know, because I had to keep. A as best I could,
a business relationship. So we didn't hang out all the time
together, but we might take a trip, you know, about 45 minute
trip to a Home Depot, get supplies, you know, run some
errands and and then
Caitlin Van Mol: drive back to the friendly, but not friends,
Peter: yeah, that would be a good description. And then in
the evenings, he would do art and play his artwork. And it
seemed like he was he'd stay up a good part of the night. And
you know, I thought, God, that's kind of weird. I hear movement
around at night. Well, I can't really sleep that well. And you
know, I hope I'm not disturbing you. And then another thing was
when the Mormons would proselytize in the area, and
when they would come to the door, he would engage them with
questions that they would have to go to Salt Lake City
administrators to answer. And like, what? Like, you know, what
is the Mormon Church's perspective on anything, you
know, abortion and this and that, and then he was a good
debater. So eventually, like, three or four of them were
coming at a time, you know, because they were really serious
about answering every question he had, and he loved it. And by
the end, you know, there, I think the one day, there was
five people. And he said, he told them before they came, he
said, Look, I've been listening to you now for several months.
And he he'd gone to a potluck dinner at the Mormon church with
them. And you know, they were friendly towards each other, but
they came and, you know, for the final time, and he said, I I'm
gonna perform a concert for you, because, you know, you're
always, you know, telling me your philosophies and, you know,
the religious parts of it. And so he got on his guitar, he had
an amp set up in the living room, and he actually played a
concert for him. And it was just surreal. I'm going, this is just
weird.
Caitlin Van Mol: What kind of music did he play? It was,
Peter: it was some kind of rock and roll, you know. I mean, it
was really heavy, you know, probably nearing on heavy metal
electric guitar.
Caitlin Van Mol: Yes, famously, the Mormons favorite heavy metal
Peter: can you imagine the picture? I mean, I actually went
outside at some point, because it was just like, this is over
the top for me.
Caitlin Van Mol: But once the work was complete, Brent didn't
seem to be in a hurry to move on.
Peter: The project was already complete, and I was trying to
point him towards, okay, now you know it's time, you know it's
time for you to move on. The project's done. He had fallen in
love with my H I had an HD video camera that he really liked, and
he liked working with me, and he wanted to shoot vignettes of
Whidbey Island to sell to people that wanted to retire there so
they could actually feel what the island was like and the
beauty and so on. And he was really good at it, but I didn't
want him living there anymore. So I, you know, I had told him,
you know, okay, you need to start looking. I didn't want to
push it too hard, but, you know, I was in the process of saying,
Okay, it's time
Caitlin Van Mol: to move along. Was he paying rent at all?
Peter: He didn't pay rent. Hmm,
Caitlin Van Mol: was that ever discussed?
Peter: No, I didn't. I don't know whether he would have
agreed to that, but my you know, when you're working with a bank,
you don't want to be slow on on the project. So I wanted to be
able to show progress and not not have them question. You
know, the viability of the project, by
Caitlin Van Mol: June 11, 2008 Brent had really worn out his
welcome.
Peter: He had been a woman on the bus on the island, and he
told me that day, man, I met this gal, and I think she's
pretty cool. She's quite special. Then I think a day or
so later, he said, Hey, would you mind if my gal came over
and, you know, so she could see the project? I said, No, that'd
be fine. So she lived in Seattle, which was about an hour
away, and and, you know, well, would it be okay if she spent
the night? Okay? You know, I met her, and she was very nice, and
everything was cool. She stayed the night, and in the morning,
I'm hearing Stern, almost arguing, I guess that you would
call it, and to the point where I said, Excuse me, but you can't
raise your voice here. In my house, so one of you is going to
have to step out. Well, she agreed to step out, and while
she was outside, I told her, I said, I think that you better
go, and I would suggest that you don't come back here. This guy's
being a little over aggressive with you, and I don't want that
to happen in my house. And I said, I'm on my I'm going to be
on my way soon here to go to my real estate office, which is
right near the ferry dock, so I'll be glad to drop you out
there. She said, Okay. And then I went back in the house, and
there he was, and he said, she's probably going to ask you for a
ride to the ferry dock. And, you know, I didn't acknowledge that
she had done that. Instead, she got her things and got in my car
and we went on the way to the ferry, and along the way, I got
a phone call from him on my cell phone, and he said, Peter, your
HD video camera is missing, and we both were using it. And so,
you know, essentially, you know, I'm acknowledging that. You
know, both of us know that it was there this morning, so you
need to check her belongings. I first explained to her, you
know, what was going on, and she she agreed to be checked, and I
didn't come up with anything. So I said, took her to the ferry
and dropped her off, and she got on the ferry, and off she went.
The next thing was that I, instead of going to my real
estate office, as I had intended, I felt as if I needed
to settle the camera situation with Brent back at the house. So
I drive back, I go walk in the door, and he goes, would you Did
you find anything? I said, No. I said, she said she didn't have
it. You say you don't know where it is. And I said, I'm going to
do what people do when they're in a situation like that, is,
I'm just going to have the police investigate it,
Caitlin Van Mol: bringing up, going to the police. Snapped
something in Brent when
Peter: I said that, all of a sudden, I was hit multiple,
multiple times with about a three foot piece of hardwood. In
fact, it was coming at me so fast, over my head and my
shoulders and my body that I couldn't even put together what
was happening. It just was a moment that you know, what is
this? Why? And I passed out, and I don't know how long I was out,
but when I came to I thought, this is a very dangerous moment.
What am I going to do? I have got to be as creative as I've
ever been in my life, and I'm going to have to extricate
myself with this. So I thought, well, I'll just run next door to
a neighbor.
Caitlin Van Mol: Where are you in the house? At this point,
we're in an on an
Peter: upper floor, and there's a stairway nearby, and we tussle
going down a staircase to the kitchen, and I can't seem to get
out of his grip. And when he gets me to the kitchen, he puts
me in a position on my back, where I'm next to the set of
drawers that had a cutlery drawer, and he pulls out a two
pronged Turkey fork, and he's just about ready to drive it
through my heart. He's got it over his head. And I said, Is
there any reason why somebody needs to die here? I said, we
both have sons. I'd certainly want to see my son. I'm sure
you'd want to see yours too. I said, I will I forgive you and I
will help you in any way I can. That was my light bulb moment. I
thought, you know, when I was thinking about how to handle
this, I thought, I'll forgive him.
Caitlin Van Mol: What made you say that I
Peter: I knew that there was a good possibility that I was
going to be killed, because I there was no way that he could
have predicted that I would live with how hard he was hitting me.
I mean, I had head injuries. I could feel where I'd been hit on
the shoulders. I had to do something unusual, and I was
afraid to be physically violent. Because, even if, if I could
have, because I, in my mind, I pictured being in a courtroom,
and it's my word against his, and he's dead, and how do I
explain that to somebody? I just wanted to resolve this without
physical you know, any more? Physical conflict. And so when I
told him I forgave him, his eyes went from the look of the devil.
Have you ever seen that in someone where they just look
like the devil has temporarily got a hold of him? That's what
he looked like. And when I said, I forgive you, he melted, and
late later, he told me. He said, If you hadn't forgiven me, I
would have killed you, because no one in my life has ever
forgiven me. Turned out, you know, I found out later that, I
think by about age 12, he was living on the street is he felt
the need to go on his own at that age, so he was apparently
street wise and and could certainly take care of himself.
Caitlin Van Mol: But street smarts can only take you so far
after you've attacked your employer and now have to deal
with a mess of blood all over the house.
Peter: He sit back, and he goes, this is a heinous crime. You
looked around and said, We gotta, we've gotta get out of
here. And I said, Well, you know, I've got somebody that's,
you know, that's coming over, and I'm not sure exactly when.
And he said, Hey, if anybody walks in this house or knocks at
the door there, they will be killed, and I'm going to bury
him under the patio deck. I'm like, Whoa, let's get out of
here to them, because I really don't want anybody else to have
to go through this. Yeah, he took me up to the upstairs
bathroom, and He nursed my wounds. He he had a first aid
kit. He cleaned, you know, head injuries with alcohol and
wrapped my head. It's like, God, one minute you're, you know,
you're this evil person, and the next minute you're, you're
nursing my wound. It was kind of hard to wrap my head around that
Caitlin Van Mol: Peter was doing his best to be cooperative.
Brent was being nice now, but obviously could become violent
any second while in the bathroom, Brent put zip ties
around Peter's ankles and wrists,
Peter: and he said, I'm going to take all my tools and all my
belongings and I'm going to put him in your van. And then he
said, we're going to go on the run. I'm going to hand you off
somebody in California. It's like some bikers or so, and then
I'll go into Mexico, and then I'll have them hand me off to
him, and then we'll be on the run in Mexico together. And I'm
like, holy shit. How's this gonna work? Yeah, I don't know
what to expect.
Caitlin Van Mol: It took Brent about an hour to pack everything
and load it into the van.
Peter: Eventually, he takes me out to the van, and there's the
van is, you know, is full of tools and his belongings, but
there's a shape in the middle of the cargo area that is about the
size of my body. I thought, Oh no, so I had to, I lay on my
back and he's going to drive the highway access to avoid the
ferry because he's afraid I might scream or yell when we're
on the ferry. So we, we our first stop is at a bank where he
demands my debit card and my pen, and he takes $500
Caitlin Van Mol: then Brent started driving south, out of
Washington and into California.
Peter: We started. We drove all night, and I was familiar with
highway 101, which is fairly desolate, and I kind of played,
I knew personally that I could open the van even if it was
locked from the inside. Then I thought, you know, middle of the
night, and I'm going to jump out of the van, and then, you know
what, if he catches up with me, and then certainly I'll be
finished if he catches me. So I thought, Okay, I'll just go with
the flow here, and I'm hoping that he's speeding, you know, so
that we maybe we could be stopped by a police why it's
Caitlin Van Mol: going through your mind? Because this is hours
and hours. I
Peter: am incredibly relaxed. I'm almost in a state of, I
would call it Nirvana, you know, I just was relaxed. I wasn't
gonna worry, you know, it's gonna, you know, there will be a
positive outcome. And I realized that anybody else that might be
in this position might be screaming, crying, yelling, you
know, and probably end up doing something stupid that will end
up having, you know, having you ended, yeah, so I don't know
where that came from, but people. Have told me in the past
that, you know, there could be a fire, they say, and you would be
the calmest person in the room.
Caitlin Van Mol: Peter started formulating a plan to get
himself out of this situation.
Peter: My next strategy was to feign near death. I was moaning
and grown, and it turned out to be quite effective. He stopped
at a gas station and he bought vitamins and he brought me
water. And again, that was that catch 22 thing where here's this
guy that's been your perpetrator is now aiding you in some way,
very confusing, but he says, I know a nurse along this highway,
and he said, I want to have her check your condition, because he
was afraid, you know, I was going to die based On my my
behavior, right? And so he says, Okay, we're here. I'm gonna run
in there and I'll be right back out. And when he came out, he
said, she won't see you for ethical reasons. So she says,
Just get him to a hospital. So he said, we're gonna go to
Sacramento, and I'm gonna drop off all my gear. I'm gonna leave
it with a mini storage and then we'll go straight to the
hospital after
Caitlin Van Mol: that. And shockingly, that's exactly what
they did.
Peter: And I think within 15 or 20 minutes, we were at UC Davis,
California. He stops next to the hospital parking lot. He's
driving, you know, my van. He's got my cell phone, he's got my
wallet. He says, I'm going to be monitoring my warrant, so don't
turn me in, but I'm going to let you go. You give me a 15 minute
head start, and after 15 minutes, you can go into the
hospital. And then he hands me all my belongings, and he
disappears.
Caitlin Van Mol: Peter didn't know anything about a warrant
out for Brent, and that was really the least of his worries
at the moment.
Peter: So after 15 minutes, I thought I better, better last
the full 15 minutes here, and after 15 minutes, I got up,
locked the van up, and I stood outside the hospital, and I
called my son. I said, Michael, this is your dad. I'm I'm here
in California. I've been kidnapped on the overnight, and
I've just been released in a hospital. He's like, what? So I
said, but I need to, you know, go get medical care. I just want
to let you know, and I'll be in bone touch with you. So I go
into the hospital, and it's so busy that their patients stacked
up in the hallways. It's crawling with police.
Caitlin Van Mol: When Peter told police the story. They told him
he needed to report the crime in Washington.
Peter: And they extend a hospital spokesperson, and they
come up to me and they say, hey. They said, can we get you a, you
know, book a hotel room for you? And I said, No, I don't want to
be here any longer than I need to, you know? I want to have my
medical assistance, and then I want to go home. Drive home. I
said, Okay, so I was in there probably at 1pm and at 10, just
up around 10 of 10pm I was released. I had staples put in
my head, you know, they they took some X rays and did a bunch
of things.
Caitlin Van Mol: Peter didn't want to stay in the hospital a
single second longer than was necessary, so he left and tried
to find something to eat.
Peter: And I found an Italian restaurant. Man, that sounds
really great. So I parked there and saunter into the restaurant,
but I was still in my my victim clothes. You know, I had blood
spattered clothing. Yeah, I know I now was going on the second
day without shaving,
Caitlin Van Mol: and I'm sure there's blood in your hair. And,
Peter: yeah, and they're just locking the front door. It's,
it's closing time. And the guy looks up at me, and he goes, My
God, what in the world happened to you? And I said, Well, I'm
the victim of a kidnapping, you know. And I shared the story
with him, and he said, Well, it's your lucky day. Dinner's on
us, and we're going to stay open for you. Oh, thank you very
much.
Caitlin Van Mol: After dinner, Peter went to a mall parking lot
for the night,
Peter: and I locked myself in the cargo compartment of the van
under a bright series of street lights, and I sat. My alarm for
5am well,
Caitlin Van Mol: why? Why didn't you stay at a hotel?
Peter: Because I want, I want, you know, I wanted to be with my
kinfolk. Yeah,
Caitlin Van Mol: you know, I don't know. Just instead of
sleeping in your car, I
Peter: wasn't really in the mood to be exploring for anything
other than an Italian restaurant.
Caitlin Van Mol: The next morning, Peter woke up and
started driving home.
Peter: I call my former wife, and she's a great communicator
and really very responsive in emergent situations. And you
know, she says, Look, you need to find a place where you can
buy some clothes, and then you need, before you get to Seattle,
you need to stop at a truck stop, take a shower, change into
new clothes, so you don't brighten your sun. And I'm so
excited to be, you know, headed towards home,
Caitlin Van Mol: but before he could get to a truck stop and
get himself cleaned up, he got pulled over by a police officer.
Peter: He says, Sir, do you know how fast you were driving? And I
said, No, sir, I'm sorry. I'm just, you know, recovering from
a kidnapping, and I wasn't really paying attention my
speedway. Well, you were 30 miles an hour over the speed
limit. And he said, But hold on a second. And he ran back to his
squad car, you know, he rang my ran my ID, and he came back,
back to the car. He goes, get out of here. Go report this, you
know, go to your home area and, you know, report this. And that
was the end of that. So it's just like, Get out of here. Kid,
you know,
Caitlin Van Mol: right? Yeah, I'm sure he saw the state of
you, and was like, I don't want to be,
Peter: yeah, because I was afraid. I was afraid they were,
you know, they wouldn't believe the story. You know that they
did. He did.
Caitlin Van Mol: So Peter kept driving and stopped at a truck
stop to take a quick shower, then drove the rest of the way
to his ex wife's house. How did you feel being back surrounded
by people that you knew and trusted?
Peter: Oh, it's great. I mean, it's what you it's what you
need. I mean, you can imagine, you sort of lose a little sense
of, you know, the hope for mankind. You know when something
like this happens? I mean, the worst. You know that you can
observe the
Caitlin Van Mol: next morning, Peter went to the sheriff's
office to report the kidnapping. Again,
Peter: it's a Saturday morning, and there's hardly anybody at
the counter, and when I finally aroused somebody, the guy says,
Oh, I'm sorry. We can't take a report. The sheriff is home, and
he's asked not to be disturbed. So I can't, I can't contact him.
So I suggest that you would. There's another precinct where
there's one sergeant station about 10 miles from here. So I
suggest you go there, and what I'm like, okay, buddy. Now it's
been a couple of days, and this is a federal crime, and I can't
talk to your sheriff,
Caitlin Van Mol: so Peter drove to the other station to try
again.
Peter: So I drive up to this little precinct, you know, which
is essentially a hole in the wall, and there's this crusty
old sergeant sitting there, you know, after about 10 seconds,
you know, he looks up, what can I do to help you? Well, I wanted
to report a kidnapping, and he said, of who I said, of me. So
he listened to my story, you know, about three minutes of a
story, and he goes, You know what? I don't believe you.
Caitlin Van Mol: Oh my gosh.
Peter: I said, Why don't you, why don't you jump in your
little squad car and follow me out to the house, and I'll show
you the DNA evidence of the crime. How about that? So he
follows me to my house, and we get there, he pulls out a little
Brownie camera, you know, like it looked like it was about 25
years old, you know, no focus or anything. You know, he's taking
pictures of a crime scene. He looks at me very apologetically,
and he says, I believe you now, and I'm very sorry that i He
said, We got people that report the craziest things, and this
had some of the markings So, but it was Saturday. By that time,
he says, I can't get a detective out here for until Tuesday. So
he says, take this form and fill out a report and bring that, you
know, hand it over to the detective when you meet on
Tuesdays.
Caitlin Van Mol: Does crime just not happen there on weekends?
Like, why is no one working?
Peter: The light isn't on, you know? I mean, in other words, if
it happened in Seattle, you know, I was told that, you know,
there would have been all kinds of advocacy, but, but there.
Sure it's like, you know, Sorry, we're closed.
Caitlin Van Mol: So finally, on a weekday, Peter was able to
meet with a detective.
Peter: On Tuesday, I get a call from the detective, and he goes,
you want to meet at your house? Or I said, How about if we meet
at a coffee shop? And so, you know, 20 minutes later, we're
sitting over a cup of coffee, and I tell him the story, and he
goes, I got one answer for this. What's that? F, B, I. They go,
really? They happen to have an office in Everett, Washington,
which was just across the Puget Sound. So they were just there.
Oh, and it was a moment where you were just proud to be an
American, because they were collecting DNA. And he said, he
said, Do you know how lucky you are? Normally, when we
investigate a kidnapping, we're we're sifting through evidence.
There's no person to talk to Yeah, that person was dead, and
he said, This is a movie. You've got to make sure this makes it
to the movie screen.
Caitlin Van Mol: If this was a movie, the investigation
probably would be wrapped up in a neat little bow in a few days.
But in reality, it took nearly two and a half years to catch
Brent. Even though the FBI was actively looking for him, Peter
didn't feel safe with him still out there.
Peter: The last thing he told me is, you know, if you report me,
I'll be monitoring my warrants, and if, if you report me, I'll
either kill you, or have you killed? You understand that. So
during that time, here I am on this island, and anytime
somebody would knock on the door, or I'd receive a phone
call, you know, where there wasn't anybody on the other end
of the line, I would just sweat. You know, it just made me very
anxious. Later, I realized I was diagnosed as having PTSD from
the incident.
Caitlin Van Mol: When did you first start experiencing
symptoms?
Peter: Well, right away. I mean, I had been working in a real
estate office on my own account. I was investing in multifamily
properties. I was managing my portfolio. And when I would go
into that office, you know, I'm just, I just, I'm sitting there
in the office, and I'm just thinking, what's it all about
Alfie? It's like, what's important? I mean, the only
things that are important are human relationships and doing
the right thing. And, you know, living your life with honor and
all the rest is just cake decoration, right? I was so
anxious I couldn't sit in that real estate office and pretend
like I cared about the work, because it didn't really matter.
Coincidentally, the world downturn was happening. Yeah,
this is 2008 Yeah, at the same time. So fortunately, I've been
able to sell my properties when they were at the peak of the
market, so I had funds to live on, and I could live throughout
the entire economic counter. Otherwise I would have had a
double whammy. I would have been dealing with my PTSD and trying
to figure out how to work. It took two and a half years to
catch this guy. The FBI finally caught him in the act.
Caitlin Van Mol: Brent was arrested in California for
failing to register as a sex offender. According to court
reports, Brent had committed three armed robberies and
attempted to escape from prison before he entered his 20s. After
Brent was released from prison for the robberies. He raped and
strangled his wife. His wife survived the ordeal, and Brent
returned to prison upon his release. This time, Brent needed
to register as a sex offender, which he did not when he was
arrested after kidnapping Peter. It had been his third time
failing to register. Brent pled guilty to the kidnapping.
Peter: You know, eventually they say, you know, he's, he's
admitted to this thing, and he's, he's willing to cop a
plea. And, you know, I asked him, I said, I don't really want
to go to a hearing. I don't want I don't have anything to do with
them. I don't want to see him. They said, Well, we've got to
deal with him. He'll serve 14 and a half years. And I said,
Okay, let's go ahead and do that, and I don't want to attend
the proceeding. And they said, Okay, that's fine.
Caitlin Van Mol: Why didn't you want to go?
Peter: I just didn't need, you know, I'd already experienced
the crime. There just was no need to be there other than
maybe for some kind of ego gratification. But I didn't need
that, right? So why go? I think the guy was about maybe 38 years
old, and they, you know, they, the judge said, you know, by the
time he's released from prison, he'll be, you know, an aging
man, and all the piss and vinegar will probably be out of
them.
Caitlin Van Mol: Brent Decker is still in federal prison, but
Peter still had to live with the consequences of what happened to
him, which included the need for a new job.
Peter: You know, the state asked me, What can we do for you?
Okay, I need to be connected, reconnected with a vocation
where I can do something that's doesn't make me anxious, and one
of the first places they referred me to was Starbucks was
offering a position. And I'm going, when I go at a Starbucks
and I see people ordering, you know, double double latte with
cornstarch whip, I'm like, There's no way I can keep up
with all those descriptions. I said I'd last there about one
day. The good thing about it was I got there was a counselor
there with the state that was really understanding the
situation. What they gave me was understanding and communication
with the seriousness of what had happened and how to, you know,
build back and and that really helped. Because, you know, even
from people that I knew, you know, some people were like, Why
can't you just get over this, you know, like, somehow you can
just, you know, unplug a circuit, and then, you know, the
whole thing goes away. There has to be some grieving period.
Caitlin Van Mol: Yeah, you have to kind of come to terms with
this whole new life.
Peter: Yeah. So one that was really helpful, the state had
recommended, you know, that I there was a job fair that I
should go to, and I meet this lady who was, she said she
represented the Mormon church and that they had an employment
agency. And she says you don't need to be religious to be part
of our service. And she says it's a worldwide network, and we
have a global curriculum. They had a classroom computers, and
that every they would meet every single weekday, and there would
be a couple people from the agency there. And so that that
structure really helped me in a time where, you know, I was
struggling to find, you know how to
Unknown: cope. What did you do for work? I had an associate
Peter: that was a also a property owner, and so I, I was
involved in managing some of the properties, and then I also did
some work at Home Depot and Macy's as a cashier. Okay, you
know it was, it wasn't, it didn't fulfill who I was, but it
was, you know, a routine. And you know, I could go through the
motions
Caitlin Van Mol: while his routine was really helpful for
Peter to manage his PTSD, something would come along that
would completely disrupt that
Peter: love. Ultimately, I met a woman that was Filipino and is
very understanding and has a lot of empathy, and we turned out to
be a great match. So I, I ended up retiring at age 63 you know,
we had decided to marry, and then I was able to leave the US
and put all this behind me today.
Caitlin Van Mol: Peter happily lives in the Philippines with
his wife, and
Peter: then I got involved with Zumba, of all things. Oh, I was
told, you know, you really, you really enjoy this. If you like
music and you want to dance, you're gonna love this. Okay,
I'll give it a try. The Zumba takes place in the local malls,
and it's actually entertainment at the mall. Oh, so I'm dancing.
I'm dancing, like with 100 Filipino women, and then there's
me.
Caitlin Van Mol: This is live to tell. I'm Caitlin Van Mol you
can follow the show on Instagram and Tiktok at live to tell
podcast. If you enjoy today's episode, please rate, review and
subscribe. It really helps the show. I'll see you in two weeks.
You.