0:03: Hello and welcome to revolutionise your love life.
0:07: Do you want to know more about love relationships?
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0:36: revolutionise your love life is a fortnightly podcast where you will access the knowledge and wisdom of love experts and relationship coaches from across the world to help you find true fulfilment in love.
0:50: I am your host, Heather Garbutt.
0:53: Welcome.
0:55: Hello everybody.
0:56: Today I'm here with Laura Deahart, and she is an amazing nutritionist and a good friend of mine.
1:05: I've invited her on really today to talk about the menopause.
1:08: This is part of the intermittent series that I'm doing on relationships with ourselves, and as we're mostly a women's audience, this is going to be really good for us.
1:21: Welcome, Laura.
1:22: Oh, it's lovely to see you, Heather.
1:25: So let me tell everybody a bit about you.
1:28: So we we know very well because we're in an Athena networking group together.
1:37: Laura worked in corporate IT for 15 years.
1:42: She's been a nutritional therapist since 2006.
1:46: She appeared as a nutrition and wellness expert on many, many stations.
1:50: BBC, Sky News, BBC News specifically, ITV News, and the Victoria Derbyshire Show, amongst others.
1:59: She's been on Radio 5 Live, The Midnight Expert, and is a Kennet radio presenter.
2:06: She's the health and wellbeing seminars and webinars leader.
2:11: A member of the Institute for Functional medicine and is a qualified DNA life practitioner.
2:19: Metabolic balance practitioner and a weight loss coach since 2011.
2:26: In her personal life, she has three grown up children, all in their 20s.
2:32: She recently remarried in 2025.
2:36: Very joyful occasion.
2:38: I've seen all the pictures.
2:40: Really nice.
2:42: And she had thyroid cancer in the middle of her menopause.
2:46: So this is why this subject is particularly powerful for her.
2:52: So tell us, Laura, what is menopause?
2:57: Well, I think, you know, we used to think menopause was something that happened 11 morning we woke up and thought, oh, we, we've reached menopause.
3:05: , but now we're realising actually menopause or perimenopause can take as much as 15 years to go through.
3:13: , but menopause, strictly medically is when you've no longer had a menstrual cycle for 12 consecutive months.
3:22: That's when they say you are in the menopause, because towards the end, some women might get a period every, I don't know, every 4 months, for example, but until that's moved to, to 12 months, they would say, no, you're not, you're not actually through the menopause and you're, you're not yet post menopause.
3:41: Got you.
3:42: Got you.
3:44: So tell us some of the symptoms that women experience.
3:49: Well, I think now there's something like 40 different symptoms that women could get.
3:58: The, the obvious ones we all talk about are things like hot flushes, night, night sweats, , insomnia, depression, libido changing, vaginal dryness, periods becoming erratic, , periods becoming heavier.
4:16: Weight gain.
4:17: Most women will start to feel a bit of weight around the middle that they didn't used to have and find that they can't, , shift that weight as quickly as they used to be able to.
4:28: I personally had weird things like two frozen shoulders.
4:33: Oh, , so the reason for that is as the hormones are dropping, oestrogen and testosterone, particularly, they are both anti-inflammatory.
4:44: So as they are dropping we are losing our ability to get rid of inflammation in our bodies.
4:50: And so for me, it, the inflammation all turned up in my, my shoulders.
4:55: So over kind of 3 years, I, one went for 18 months and, and then the other one decided to, to have a go as well and.
5:03: It's, you know, you sort of think, well, what is a frozen shoulder, but it, it meant that I could move my arm about.
5:10: 4 centimetres from my side.
5:14: So the front, to the side and to the back.
5:16: That was it.
5:18: , and if I accidentally moved it further than that, the pain was excruciating.
5:23: So anyone that's had one will know how, how awful it can feel.
5:28: But at the time, I just thought, oh, it's one of those things you have in your 40s.
5:32: I've overexercised, I've done myself some damage, but actually now it is one of those 40, 40 symptoms.
5:39: Right?
5:40: Right.
5:40: And I know from my, , experiences in mental health and for myself, you know.
5:46: Anxiety.
5:47: Oh gosh, yes.
5:49: Yes, absolutely.
5:50: , and I can remember again, I was, I was always a very confident driver to drive anywhere on my own quite happily.
5:57: If anything, it was a bit of an adventure going, going in the car, , and I can remember driving home one evening and having to phone Leslie and say, I, I'm just really anxious and I just need you to stay on the phone while I, while I, while I get home on the motorway.
6:13: I just Yeah, I've never ever experienced that with driving before.
6:18: So, , and then we, we're trying, we're sort of second guessing ourselves, aren't we, as to, well, Why, why is that suddenly happening?
6:25: What, what else is happening?
6:26: And, you know, I think it's, , yeah, it's, as you say, it's a huge one.
6:31: yeah, yeah, and it comes out of left field like you say.
6:35: Yeah, yeah, not expecting it.
6:37: So from, , a nutrition point of view.
6:41: How can we alleviate some of these symptoms?
6:46: So I think what we find is that, , we become what we call more insulin resistant, so it's a bit of a techie term.
6:54: I think we're all hearing it more and more in the press these days, but in other words, we're not processing our sugars and carbohydrates as well as we used to.
7:02: We're just not as sensitive to them, so our body just doesn't.
7:07: Process them, burn them as well as it used to.
7:10: , so that's one of the big changes where someone might have been able to eat quite a high carb diet and feel great.
7:16: Now they start to gain weight from it, they might start to feel tired, sleepy, have blood sugar crashes.
7:23: So actually what we eat, if we look at it at a macro level, , we'll change.
7:28: So we still need carbohydrates, but we probably don't need as many.
7:32: , so we're probably better sticking to nature's carbs like, , root veg and pulses and things like that.
7:40: So we're getting all that good fibre and, and stuff.
7:43: .
7:44: But we might also look at foods that are perhaps rich in estrogens and progesterones depending on the time of the month, we might eat different seeds, for example.
7:54: So flax seeds are very good for the first half of the month, as are pumpkin seeds.
7:59: Second half of the month, we might be focusing on sunflower and sesame seeds because they do, they provide different nutrients for different parts of the month.
8:07: So.
8:09: Yeah, and it, it always comes down to the individual.
8:11: So sometimes we're, we're tweaking, sometimes it's a major over.
8:16: It's just really depends on what people have been able to get away with that maybe now their body says, mm mm, that, that kind of diet and lifestyle, it's not going to work anymore.
8:27: Certainly for me, I found I couldn't eat carbs, I didn't want them.
8:32: Yeah.
8:33: Quite strange.
8:34: Just wanted protein and vegetables.
8:36: Mhm, absolutely.
8:37: And I think alcohol is another one where, , actually alcohol for a lot of women will trigger, , hot flushes.
8:46: The alcohol doubles your oestrogen level very briefly and then it crashes back down and it's the crash of oestrogen that causes the hot flush.
8:54: So it's, and, and, you know, some women then find they don't sleep well at night.
8:59: After alcohol as well, so where perhaps they could have enjoyed a couple of glasses of wine, they're suddenly finding it's not really their friend anymore.
9:05: So, you know, as you say with the carbs, suddenly you feel differently about certain foods and and and things you're drinking.
9:12: Mm.
9:13: I can really identify with that.
9:15: I mean, I know I'm well past the, the perimenopause and menopause, but certainly, , drinking alcohol.
9:22: I love the taste of a nice red wine.
9:24: I only want to have the taste of it.
9:26: I don't want to take in the.
9:29: No.
9:31: No, absolutely.
9:32: And, yes, I think, you know, I think obviously there are some women that, that can tolerate it, but, you know, we know that it really increases our risk of breast cancer as well, as we, as we're ageing.
9:42: So I think it's worth having a review of where we are with our, our relationship with alcohol as, as we're going through the perimenopause, menopause years, definitely.
9:53: Absolutely.
9:54: I hadn't realised there were other serious consequences if you've got those off the top of your head to add.
10:00: Absolutely, but it's something like, you know, even, even 2 glasses of wine a day really increases your risk of breast cancer.
10:07: So, yeah, definitely, you know, again, we're not saying zero, but we're just saying moderation, aren't we, as always, just maybe once a week or something.
10:16: Yeah, be careful.
10:17: Yeah.
10:18: , and the other thing that people tell me about quite a lot, .
10:22: Cause I, I generally work with people over 30 and yeah, likely in their 40s, 50s and 60s, so it's really relevant.
10:31: They get brain fog.
10:33: Yes.
10:35: Yes, so I think there's a whole host of things going on with that, .
10:40: You know, some of it is definitely, , the hormones, so we know oestrogen is really, , protective of things like Alzheimer's.
10:49: , so that's why, you know, it's, if women can tolerate HRT that and can take it till at least they're 60, that can really help protect their brain.
10:58: So I think some of it is just the drop of, and testosterone as well.
11:02: The drop of those two hormones, , can start to bring about the brain fog.
11:08: , but there can be other factors going on as well, you know, maybe the gut microbiome is not quite right.
11:13: Maybe they've got a bit of an overgrowth of Candida and things like that might, might be contributing to the brain fog.
11:19: , your thyroid often gets knocked in the perimenopause, menopause, and again, that can slow everything down a little bit.
11:27: So maybe that means that our, our thoughts aren't going through quite as quickly as they used to.
11:32: It's that whole thing of you can't quite remember the name of somebody.
11:36: I, I play this game sometimes where I think it's like it's, it's an actor of a film.
11:41: I've got to put like 6 films I've seen them in and eventually someone will know the actor, the actor I'm talking about.
11:48: Yes, I get that.
11:51: , yeah, so I think that, that recall is part of those, those hormones dropping, definitely.
11:57: Right, that's really useful to know.
11:59: And so those other things like the, the sesame seeds and the sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds at the different times of the month could be really helpful there.
12:08: Yes, yes, to, to actually encourage your own your own oestrogen to keep keep on being there.
12:15: , and we know stress.
12:18: Kind of like an overarch of kind of stopping us from making our own hormones.
12:23: So when we eventually go through the menopause, our adrenal glands that sit just above our kidneys, they take over the job of releasing some sex hormones for us.
12:33: So we still do make some, it's just not from the ovaries anymore.
12:36: , but if those adrenals are busy making adrenaline and cortisol, which are our two stress hormones that we absolutely need.
12:44: But if we're, if we're demanding too much of those, then it will unprioritize those other sex hormones, the oestrogen, testosterone, , and progesterone.
12:54: And actually, some women might identify with, if they're, they're a bit stressed, stressed and they're kind of.
13:02: Rushing about, call it rushing women's syndrome, don't we?
13:05: They're rushing about, , they might suddenly have a hot flush.
13:09: And it's almost like your body's gone, right, OK, we're stopping oestrogen for a moment, we're starting cortisol and that little drop.
13:18: In the oestrogen, the hot flush appears.
13:22: Oh, gosh, I wish I'd known you years ago.
13:26: So, yeah, one of my clients, she was like, you know, if I just get ready for work really slowly and carefully and don't worry about what the traffic might be like and just do things in a nice steady pace, don't have a hot flush.
13:38: If I'm rushing through the house, worrying about the traffic and have I forgotten everything, yes, bang, hot flush.
13:47: So, yeah, it's, it's just looking out for some of these cues, isn't it, from your body.
13:52: Yeah.
13:53: To, to say, OK, I, I can control some of this.
13:57: I, I can decide how I'm going to respond to stressful situations.
14:01: If I try and stay calm.
14:03: And my hormones will, will stay calm too kind of thing.
14:07: Great.
14:07: So yeah, meditative peace and yes, calming self talk.
14:12: Absolutely and Definitely, , relaxation, looking after yourself, breathing, walking in green space, whatever it is that really for you makes you feel, do that whole, that relaxation, that kind of gabba release that we're getting, , which often we try and get from wine.
14:36: , we get that GABA release, but we want it really from all those other things that we know also feel great.
14:42: Might be putting a few.
14:43: Candles out at night or, as I say, some breathing, some nice music, whatever works for you really, you know, because I think we're all very different, aren't we in that.
14:53: We are, we are, yes, yes.
14:56: You got to choose your own path there.
14:59: Completely.
15:00: So, let's move on a little bit and talk about metabolic balance and gut health and its role in perimenopause and menopause.
15:09: Yeah.
15:10: So, as I said, you know, .
15:13: The gut microbiome changes as well, of course.
15:16: This just keeps on giving, doesn't it?
15:18: It's the way I look at it.
15:20: The gut microbiome also changes in those perimenopause, menopause years.
15:24: , so there might be foods that before you could tolerate that suddenly don't feel great.
15:30: I know you and I have both done the Zoe programme, so we, we've got to know our food lists in terms of what our gut would like at the moment, and I would imagine that would be quite different if someone was to do it at, say, at 40 then at 45 and 50, I'd imagine that, that might change quite a bit.
15:47: .
15:48: So definitely looking after our gut, at the end of the day, everything starts there, doesn't it, whether it's our Our neurotransmitters are, you know, are, that anxiety even starts there, doesn't it?
16:00: For a lot of people, it starts in the gut, that old gut feeling that we talk about.
16:04: , you know, we're clearing out old hormones through the gut.
16:08: So if we are constipated, for example, , actually when we're retoxifying ourselves with our old hormones as much as everything else, and we're probably not making as much serotonin either, so that's our happy hormone.
16:22: Which then converts into melatonin at night, which allows us to sleep.
16:28: So sometimes when I see people and I find out that the bowels aren't right, actually, I, I know why they're not sleeping and why they're a little bit low in mood and all these things, you know, there's a real big knock-on, so getting the gut.
16:42: Working, moving nicely, comfortably, you know, in a very regular fashion is kind of what we're looking for, so a lot of work to do there for a lot of people.
16:52: , and then metabolic balance, which I is in my bio as well, , is a, A, a minimum of a 12 week programme, but really it's ideally, it's a change for life, which is we are, we're taking people's bloods and we are feeding that into metabolic balance, the system, which is a German developed programme with their health history and out comes their personalised food list.
17:18: , what's really interesting is when I looked at my food list from that and then keyed it into Zoe.
17:26: , I scored 90 most days with that food list, and anyone that knows Zoe knows that you're looking for 70 to 80, 90, but honestly spot on 90 most days.
17:38: So that really filled me with a lot of confidence that actually, even though they're they're coming at it from a completely different perspective, they were in harmony with each other.
17:49: , so a lot of people do metabolic balance to lose weight.
17:54: Because again, a lot of women, as I say, will be struggling to get that bit round the middle gone, , and, and as I say, the old strategies just aren't working anymore.
18:04: But what I've loved to see with it is that women's hot flushes have gone.
18:09: , their migraines have gone, their blood pressure is improving.
18:15: , their skin, their eyes look really bright.
18:18: There's, their sleep's better, energy's better.
18:22: So they just feel so much better about themselves throughout, and then the weight loss is probably a bonus, really, because You know, they, they just can feel good about themselves as a whole, as opposed to if you just lose weight, sometimes you still don't feel great.
18:41: No, certainly not.
18:42: I mean, apart from anything else, you can feel deprived and it feels a negative thing rather than a positive thing.
18:49: Absolutely, yeah, I completely agree.
18:52: Yeah, and, and, you know, not everyone will do metabolic balance with me because sometimes people aren't ready, you know, maybe they are still dependent on alcohol or on sweet foods or emotionally they haven't quite got themselves in a good place to not be using food as a comfort.
19:08: So sometimes there's work to be done with someone else before they're kind of ready to make that, that change.
19:14: But it is a change for life really.
19:15: It's a really positive change to kind of prepare your body for menopause or, you know, I have people doing it in their 60s and 70s as well, you know, so it's not just a, you've got to do it by this age or, or it's too late.
19:29: , but yeah, I've seen some amazing changes in people.
19:33: So what, what more can we do to prepare in advance for the menopause?
19:39: So, there are some tests you can do, , excuse me.
19:43: There's some, there's one called the Dutch test.
19:47: So, the Dutch test stands for dry urine test.
19:51: I always forget what the CH is, but anyway, it's a, it's a really comprehensive test.
19:57: , and we take some urine samples throughout, throughout a 24 hour period, , and you're dunking bits of paper in it which dry out.
20:07: Which hence the dry urine, and it gets post off, posted off in through the post box.
20:12: So nice and easy, doing it at home.
20:15: , and out of that, we, we can extract and kind of retrofit what your oestrogen levels are currently, what your testosterone is, your progesterone, and then all the conversions as well, all the way through.
20:29: Where this is really helpful is some women's hormones are lower than they realise, so that's.
20:36: Why they're not feeling as great as they ought to.
20:39: Maybe things have dropped sooner than they thought.
20:41: But also with estrogens, we've got 3 different routes for our bodies to clear them out of our system.
20:49: , And this then ties into risk of breast cancer and other cancers, , because if we're not clearing them in a healthy way, we're sending them down a route which maybe would contribute to cancers.
21:07: So where this can be really helpful is if you've got a woman who would love to go on HRT.
21:13: But she's really worried because she's got a family history of breast cancer.
21:18: She's really quite concerned and, and quite rightly, it's not a decision to take lightly.
21:24: , and also the medical world may well be concerned as well, but this test can show you how you're clearing your estrogens.
21:32: So it may be that you're clearing them really healthily.
21:37: Which might give you a different risk to your mother or whoever it was in your family that, that had breast cancer.
21:44: So we can just give you more information to know.
21:49: Is HRT a possibility or not?
21:53: That's really useful.
21:55: That's yeah, it, it is because, you know, I'm, I'm a firm believer in.
22:01: How you get through menopause is your choice.
22:05: You know, so I'm not anti-HRT.
22:07: I'm not pro HRT.
22:09: It's, to me, it's an informed choice about, does this make you feel better?
22:15: For one, you know, does it relieve the brain fog, you know, your symptoms improving?
22:21: And also, does it keep you healthy, , you know, because we know.
22:25: , our hormones also protect our bones.
22:28: So if you've got a risk of osteoporosis in your family, where your bones are getting weaker and weaker and you're more likely to break a bone if you, you know, you, you fall over and you, you break your wrist, you know that maybe your, your family, you know, your family history is more of an osteoporosis risk than breast cancer.
22:46: So HRT can be really quite protective.
22:49: So I actually did have a lady, gosh, it must be about 8 years ago now, she'd had a hysterectomy because she had wound cancer.
22:57: , so she'd had ovaries removed as well.
23:01: So her risk for osteoporosis was high, and when they'd done scans, it wasn't looking good.
23:09: But she wanted to avoid, , the really strong bisphosphonate type medications that you can take, , to protect your bones.
23:18: She just said, I want to do everything else I can before I decide to do that because they're quite caustic.
23:24: They, they, you have to be very careful swallowing them.
23:27: , and so she was just, I just want to do anything else that I can.
23:30: So we've been working together for 78 years now.
23:34: We've We did a DNA test, which, , to see what her osteoporosis risk was.
23:40: , we did the Dutch test to see about where her hormones were going.
23:45: And obviously we did vitamin D and calcium and all those obvious bone, bone things.
23:50: And so we put together a supplement plan to make sure she got all the nutrients for her bones.
23:55: , we encouraged exercise that that put, , Energy through the bone, so whether that's a rebounder or jumping or you know, there's vibration plates and things you can get .
24:10: And actually she found a doctor who put her on a low dose of HRT.
24:16: OK.
24:17: , because they decided that the, the risk.
24:21: It was such that they felt that was the better way to go.
24:24: , and her bones have not changed in the last 8 years.
24:29: So we had, she hasn't had any further bone loss in that time.
24:33: That's.
24:34: And in fact, she fell down the stairs and we thought, oh my goodness, here we go again, no broken bones.
24:40: , so, as I say, so it, you know, you've always got to look at the person and figure out what's the priority for your, your body, you know?
24:50: Yes, of course.
24:52: Yes, of course, we're not all made the same, are we?
24:54: We're really not because other people, , their collagen is in there.
24:59: is in their bones and not much in their ligaments and tendons, so those people will often go over on their ankle.
25:06: Yeah, but they've got strong bones, so they don't break, but they don't break.
25:10: They get just of the soft tissue injury.
25:13: Exactly, exactly that, so they're gonna have exactly that.
25:16: They're gonna have soft tissue injury, but probably not bone injury.
25:21: Mhm.
25:22: So just going back to the food, yes, there's, there's a fashion at the moment for intermittent fasting.
25:29: Can you explain what that is and how useful or not it might be in the menopause?
25:32: Yes, yeah.
25:34: So intermittent fasting, probably gosh since probably Michael Moseley.
25:39: Brought about his 5-2 diet is kind of where we all heard of it.
25:43: But there is some evidence to say that if we are varying the amount of time that we're eating versus not eating, that can give us some health benefits.
25:54: , so you and I were talking about sort of feeding windows and fastening windows and stuff, weren't we, a few weeks ago.
26:01: , so yes, so the idea is you split out your day between the period that you're going to eat, which we call our eating window, and the period we're not going to eat, which we tend to call our fasting window.
26:14: , and so people will have heard of things like the 168.
26:17: So in other words, we're fasting for 16 hours and we're eating in an 8-hour feeding window.
26:23: , and then there are longer ones, , so some people might do an 186, a 24.
26:30: Some people do one meal a day.
26:32: Some people do alternate day fasting where they might, a bit like the 52, they might just have 500 calories one day and then eat 2000 the next day.
26:41: So there's all different ways to do it, and they all confer different health benefits, .
26:46: And I think when you're becoming more insulin resistant, It can really help to have a longer window where you're not eating.
26:58: That seems to be part of what goes on, so I think the fasting can really help to make your body more insulin sensitive again.
27:05: Obviously some people are using it to help with their weight.
27:09: , but also it helps with sleep.
27:12: Right.
27:13: You know, because the nearer we eat to going to sleep, the more likely we are, we are to have interrupted sleep.
27:21: Because our digestive system's awake doing its job when it really should have finished 23 hours ago.
27:26: So, you know, I encourage people to finish eating by sort of 6 or 7, to then go to bed maybe 1011.
27:32: So they've really got that nice.
27:35: Period of time where their their body's just focusing on doing the other jobs.
27:39: It's overnight processing that it needs to do, like, like washing your brain with melatonin and detoxifying the liver doing its work and the bowel is doing its work ready for the morning bowel movement.
27:51: All these things, if we've eaten really late, they all get kind of pushed back.
27:57: Right, so we're interrupted and out of step.
28:01: Yes.
28:02: Yes, we are, and I'm trying to think of it again in my brain.
28:05: I'm trying to think of the, there's a sketch.
28:07: , I Love Lucy, so it's a very old sketch where she's in a factory.
28:12: And they're meant to be putting chocolates in a chocolate box, but she's out of sync with the chocolates, so she's eating them because she can't get them in the box quick enough.
28:22: And it's kind of like that with our body is that if, if the system's going along and it's supposed, you're supposed to be putting certain things, but, but you're demanding too much, where else are you going to put it unless you stop the conveyor belt?
28:35: You know, so it's just kind of understanding that your body needs to do things at different times.
28:42: So the eating window definitely helps, .
28:46: And then I think what you eat, as you mentioned, can also change because.
28:51: You know, we maybe we don't need as much carbohydrate, we need some, but we don't need as much.
28:55: So maybe, again, we feel more satisfied with protein and vegetables.
29:01: , and so actually that's enough fuel to keep us going those 1617, 18 hours.
29:08: You know, that we're, that we're gonna do.
29:11: Yes.
29:12: And is it important to keep the same routine of Windows or is it important to vary it?
29:17: I think it's important to vary it, and I'd say people are starting out really just extend your breakfast out by an hour.
29:25: So if you'd normally have breakfast at 8, maybe have it at 9.
29:28: So just slowly bring it out.
29:31: But then, you know, life throws different days at us, doesn't it?
29:33: So there might be a day where Well, I love it if I can have a weekend where I'm not getting up till maybe 10 or 11 on the odd Saturday or Sunday.
29:42: , so I'm not gonna have anything to eat until I get up, so that might be 12.
29:47: , other days I might be going up to London or something.
29:50: I've got to think, right, OK, I need to eat before I go.
29:52: So that might be an 8 o'clock breakfast, and I think our body likes variety.
29:58: Because we keep it surprised.
30:00: , if we're not surprising it, it goes, Oh, it's this one, we'll do this again.
30:04: OK.
30:05: So we don't get quite as much benefit from it as if we are bringing the changes a bit like going to the gym and doing the same exercise over and over again, we start to find diminishing returns from it.
30:17: Got you, that makes really good sense to me.
30:20: Yeah.
30:21: And the more delicate question I want to ask really is how might the the difference in hormones in menopause affect your relationship life?
30:33: Yes.
30:34: I, I think first and foremost, I think men are not educated on the menopause.
30:41: , I recorded a, , , a webinar a few years back and I put it onto, , YouTube.
30:48: It's not, it's, it's still there, I think.
30:51: Anyway, , a friend of mine, she's like, I just don't know what to do.
30:54: My partner just does not understand what's happening to me.
30:58: So I sent her a link and she got him to watch it.
31:02: And then he was like, right, OK, now, now I'm starting to understand what's going on.
31:07: So I think that's job one is to educate men.
31:10: , but yes, for women, a lot can change.
31:13: I think self-image.
31:16: , and I think, you know, we are very much driven by our hormones in terms of our sex drive, for example.
31:22: So, you know, the.
31:24: The body is very clever.
31:26: If you look at the cycles, you know, the first half of the month is oestrogen.
31:31: And then towards ovulation, testosterone starts to go up a bit, and that is driving our sex drive heavily because nature is saying, well, I need you to want to conceive as well.
31:43: , and then second half is progesterone, which is either Keeping that that lining of the womb nice and thick for the egg to embed into, or it's saying, OK, we didn't concede this month, we'll shed that and it's helping to, to thin that back before we actually have a bleed.
32:02: So once a woman's cycle starts to change, these normal periods of the month where a woman would be interested in sex, would be feeling attractive, they start to change.
32:15: , and also as oestrogen drops.
32:19: We lose moisture, so women will often experience dry eyes, itchy ears, mouth might be dry, we might also be dry down below.
32:30: So that might make sex uncomfortable.
32:34: Painful.
32:36: It might be that, you know, if you, if you're starting to associate.
32:40: It with pain, it's no longer with pleasure.
32:45: That's, that's going to make a big difference.
32:48: So it's, it's then about the couple being able to talk about that, isn't it?
32:53: Yes, and not take it personally.
32:55: Exactly, exactly that.
32:57: Yes, completely, completely that, , and understanding that, you know, I'm sure there are plenty of ways to support each other through that change, you know, , people can be very, , can be more adventurous sometimes than perhaps they were before.
33:14: They can experiment with different things that maybe both are pleasurable for them that maybe they hadn't thought about before.
33:21: , maybe they need to take more time about things.
33:25: Yeah, you know, , whereas before, maybe the things were rushed and that was OK earlier on, but now it's not.
33:32: So I think it is really that, that conversation, isn't it, between the two to understand what what's going on, .
33:40: You know, some women I see, I'll, I'll ask them about libido, and they're just like, well, it's gone completely, you know.
33:47: Other women, that's not the case.
33:49: Other women, it's, they're almost kind of coming into their own, , mid-forties.
33:54: , so I, you know, there, there isn't a right, again, no right or wrong, how someone's going to feel, but, , it's, it's understanding what, what's going on, you know, .
34:05: Part of also what might start happening and I do see is urinary tract infections going up.
34:11: So UTIs for short.
34:14: , because oestrogen is also making that area acidic.
34:21: And that protects us from bacterial, , overgrowths, yeast overgrowths, etc.
34:29: And so when that's starting to drop.
34:32: We've become more vulnerable to things like a urinary tract infection.
34:37: So that can also be a sign for some women that things are changing.
34:40: , so they might get from their GP, , some, , oestrogen pessaries, for example.
34:48: To just directly put more oestrogen into that area.
34:52: I also recommend probiotics that are specific for the bladder and the vagina, which can help too.
34:59: , and we know that semen and saliva are both alkali.
35:04: So they're not helping to keep that area acidic.
35:09: yeah.
35:10: So, so again, you know, you, you, you might be thinking, is my partner causing this?
35:14: Because it's often after sex that it happens, but it's just that shift of acid alkali, potentially, you know, so, and probiotics are acidic, but also things like vitamin C, , you know, citrus fruits, all of that kind of stuff can help improve the acidity.
35:34: To, so, you know, so that's a good piece of dietary stuff, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah.
35:42: Oh, this is lovely, thank you.
35:45: So finally, how can people get in contact with you?
35:49: So my website is, , nutritionalbenefits.co.uk.
35:54: , you can book a discovery call with me from there.
35:57: , I do a 15-minute call.
35:59: You'll also find me on Instagram.
36:01: I think I'm just Laura DLHO one on that one.
36:03: Nothing particularly sexy on there.
36:06: , and I'm also on Facebook and LinkedIn.
36:09: , so you'll find me on all of those.
36:11: And of course, I've confused matters hugely, haven't I, because my new married name is Laura Deho, not Laura Dellaharp.
36:17: So you might find me as Laura Deho on certain places and De laharp on others, but trust me, I'm the same person.
36:25: Yeah, and congratulations on your mother you.
36:29: Thank you.
36:30: Yeah.
36:31: Thank you so much, Laura, and hopefully you'll come back and talk to us some more.
36:36: Absolutely would love it.
36:37: Thank you, Heather.
36:38: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of revolutionise your love life.
36:44: I'd like to know what has been your biggest takeaway from this conversation.
36:50: Do take a minute and share this with us and visit us on our Facebook page.
36:55: You can connect with me personally on my email at heather@heather Garber.com.
37:01: If you can think of someone who will benefit from listening to this podcast, please do share it with them.
37:08: If you have any feedback on how I can improve it, please do reach out to me as I'm always keen to learn more.
37:17: Thank you so much again for listening.
37:20: And we'll meet again on the next episode of revolutionise your love life.