SLOS 9
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[00:00:00]

jacob: Hello everyone. Welcome back. Or

sage: welcome to another Day in

jacob: Our Lives. Yeah,

sage: another day, another Demon Fest.

jacob: another day in the Secret Lives of Sommeliers episode. I don't even know anymore. I lost track Really? Mm-hmm. Oh my God. We're almost at 10. Wait, don't we get, don't don't we have like points like built up?

Oh yeah. Are we, are we gonna get like a discount or a next,

sage: get a discount on our recording

jacob: studio. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Okay. Love. And that's what's important. What a fun milestone. Yes.

sage: We're gonna get a whole $7 off.

jacob: Okay. Well, speaking of milestones, um, this is the first time we have had Slovakian wine ever.

So it's a dry Riesling, I'm assuming from Slovakia.

sage: We're about to find out,

jacob: And we just learned where it is. It is north of Hungary, east of Austria, and also east of. Czech Czechoslovakia?

sage: Yeah, we,

jacob: it's called the

sage: Czech Republic.

jacob: Czech Republic, okay. It was Czechoslovakia? I think so. And it became the Czech [00:01:00] Republic in Slovakia.

sage: I used to really know all of this.

Um, I'm sorry, Ms. Erickson, I

jacob: forgot.

sage: I had to be like tested on European geography in high school.

jacob: Oh, it was probably different back then though, right?

sage: I don't think it's changed that much in like,

jacob: Well, but like seven years, the Czechoslovakia and then the split, I think

sage: to be one country and then it became Czech Republic and Slovakia, and they just, they should have come up with

jacob: new names. Yeah. Well, regardless, try it for me checking to see if it's corked.

sage: no, it's good

jacob: Delicious window.

sage: I will call it like off dry though.

jacob: Really?

sage: Mm-hmm. It's definitely on the sweeter side.

jacob: It has so much alcohol in it.

Thoughs

sage: That's what we want.

jacob: Okay. Yeah. You're not wrong.

sage: Well here, we'll explain that to the people. Normally when, a Riesling. Has a high alcohol content, that means it's a dry riesling because the yeast ate all of the sugar and made it dry.

But when yeast consumes, it creates alcohol. So I don't know how this happened, but [00:02:00] it's 14%, which is high, especially for a reisling .

jacob: Would you say it's more sweet or more acidic?

sage: It's both,

jacob: really.

sage: I, I mean,

jacob: my humble opinion,

I mean, yeah. That is good though. Yeah. That's good. Delish, um, approved. Okay. What do you wanna talk about? Where start, where do you wanna start? You should start with your PI investigation that you were Oh, telling me about.

sage: Well, okay, so I think I've brought this up a bunch before, but it's a hobby, pastime of mine to stalk people, but only legally and online.

Like I'm not stalking people in person. Nobody's life is threatened. I just look through public information and find information that I want.

jacob: Don't you also pay for like a monthly subscription

sage: I do. Pay for Spokeo Premium

jacob: It makes it a little bit easier, but you know,

sage: But it isn't helping in this case.

And I've been on this shit for like a week now. When I have like downtime, whatever, other people maybe watch some tv, I'm like, no, [00:03:00] it's time to stalk. Yeah. So I've been after somebody that I was friends with in high school. And he seemingly fell off the face of the social media planet

jacob: in 2022.

'cause that's

sage: like the latest post I can find. But normally even when people are like offline, social media wise, I can still find information about them. Like, your digital footprint is bigger than you think it is. Try Googling your own name. Like I can find like employment information, like if you're featured on somebody's website, I can find where you live.

Usually your phone number.

jacob: I mean, like, unless if you have a super common name

sage: Yeah. You're kind of protected. 'cause you have a pretty common name. Yeah. But his name isn't that common. But he lives in another country now. And so I think that that's where it's kind of falling apart is that like I have access, like it like Spokeo is only America and so like I have, I found like his dated information from when he lived in America, but I can't find the current information and it's driving me fucking insane.

But I think I found his phone number.

jacob: [00:04:00] You just gotta, I don't know, like get a VPN and like find a different version of Spokeo that's like,

sage: well, I found like the, the, I don't know if I should say the country, this country's version of Spokeo. Oh. And I use that, but I guess this country values privacy more than America.

'cause there wasn't as much, like, I could only find like first, initial, last name. But I found first, initial last name all like three phone numbers associated together. And it was his initial and then the correct initials of his parents' names. And so I think, and that, that led me to a phone number. So I think, but I don't have any way of verifying it because they also don't have Venmo and Cash app in this country.

Because usually if, if I can find the phone number, I can find a name from Venmo. Like searching the number on Venmo or Cash app.

jacob: That's usually

sage: That's usually, that's usually how I do it.

jacob: Oh my God.

sage: And if that doesn't work, then Spokeo Premium.

jacob: Okay. Wait, so you know he's in this country said country. [00:05:00] sure. I mean like, i's a job well done? No. Or did you not buy enough information?

sage: I already knew he moved.

jacob: Well, I know, but like you said, you've been trying so hard to find, it sounds like you already found him.

sage: Well, I don't know. I don't have any way of contacting him though. 'cause like, even though I think I found the phone number, what am I gonna do?

Text him and be like, Hey, this is Sage. We haven't talked in seven years and I spent the last week trying to locate you and I think this might be your number. Like, that's creepy as fuck.

jacob: I would argue it's creepy in the first place to be searching. So why are you even searching for this man so hard and stead Fastly?

sage: I don't know. I, I want to talk to him.

jacob: Okay. Totally not a stalker answer. I don't know. Well, it's, I just wanna

sage: I don't, I don't think that. I think that it only qualifies as stalking if you're like If, if, if you're like doing with mal intent, like I just wanna like say hi, you know?

And like obviously if he didn't, like if I found an Instagram that was active and DMed him and then he didn't respond, I would just be like, okay, like moving on.

jacob: You can't find an [00:06:00] Instagram with a phone number.

sage: No. And also I found his accounts, but they're all old. Like I found multiple Instagrams, but I think he like went offline a few years ago, which is fine, but I should still be able to find information.

jacob: And

sage: this is really a challenge for me

jacob: cause you don't get what you want.

You're not getting what you want. What I want. Yeah. The world is telling you no and you are going against the grain.

sage: Um, and that's on manifesting.

jacob: Mm-hmm. Work well.

sage: well. yeah, I mean, I, if I, if I like, get the balls enough to call the number, I'll let you guys

jacob: know you should name drop.

sage: Yeah. I mean w

jacob: What if, what if, what if they watch this?

sage: I don't think that he will, but his sister will because we follow each other on TikTok and she'll probably know I'm talking about him,

jacob: so. Yeah. Especially if you drop his name.

sage: Yeah. Well, I, I don't need to, like, I've, I've given enough details that if she watches this, she'll know, because like, there wasn't that many people in my high school that have now moved to another country that like have a sister [00:07:00] that I

jacob: like.

She,

sage: she would put the piece together. She's a smart girl.

jacob: Okay.

sage: Okay. Anyway, I might be contacting, uh, you said sister for information because, um, this is driving me

jacob: crazy.

sage: I'm like, did he die? Did he get arrested?

jacob: I mean, I would hope not. Since you still found, if you found information on him. I

sage: yeah, but it was in 2022.

Yeah. I didn't find an obituary. You know, and

jacob: like, yeah,

sage: yeah, there would be

jacob: an obituary if he died. So

sage: I found another obituary

jacob: somebody

sage: with the same name, but

jacob: the parents' names were different probably.

sage: It was like the person died. The person whose obituary it was

jacob: died when he was like five. Oh, so didn't, didn't make it.

Process of elimination. Yeah. Yeah.

sage: Um, anyway, moving on from my psychotic episode of

jacob: the week, moving on to my psychotic episode of the week. I am finally on TikTok.

sage: Hell yeah.

jacob: He been sending

sage: me tiktoks at four in the morning.

jacob: Yeah, that was, well this was as of what, that was two days ago. Yeah. So two days ago I started my [00:08:00] TikTok journey and I was just scrolling in bed until 4, 4 30 in the morning because I couldn't go to sleep.

And I just didn't want to keep watching YouTube anymore. And. I got involved in quite, quite a few different sides of TikTok. I mean, um, I think my favorite TikTok realm is the tiktoks that are so out of pocket and out of context and just don't make any sense. But they're so hilarious that like you just can't do anything but like, and save them.

Can you example, it just wouldn't make any sense for me to even like describe it, like it was just, seemed this video, it was, it seemed like it was filmed in like Eastern Europe.

sage: Okay. Because I

jacob: saw like a babushka looking like grandmotherly figure in the

sage: Hell yeah. That

jacob: And um, she like threw this glass jar at a door and it shattered everywhere.

And then immediately the camera pans to, I'm assuming what is like the granddaughter, she's like struggling to open a glass [00:09:00] jar with like a can opener. And then she drops it on the floor trying to open it and it shatters. And then the camera pans to what I assume is the grandson riding a broken bike.

And it's just like, he can't even, he can barely get it to move. And then he falls over and like knocks over like, I don't know, like a pile of wood into like a bush. And then it, the video just cuts off there, I think. And it literally had only like. 800 likes. And I was like, this is so random and stupid and funny.

sage: like, hell

jacob: I'm, yeah. I'm liking this and saving it. It's great.

sage: Um, yeah, I think you're like two steps away from Brain Rott, because I wouldn't consider that Brain Rott. That's just like a funny video.

jacob: yeah, like

sage: I can't

jacob: wait for you to get to brain rot

sage: TikTok, like go to the Nutter Butters account.

jacob: Like, Look

sage: it up. Right? Look it up right

jacob: now. Why?

sage: Why? Because it's

jacob: But I don't want brain rot on my, I don't wanna look it up. 'cause then it's gonna like send me brain rot. Shit. I don't want brain rot.

sage: brain rock's fun.

jacob: Mm.

sage: I have like a good mix. Um,

jacob: I mean, I'm just scared to look anything up. 'cause then I don't wanna learn all about it.

[00:10:00] Like I looked up, oh my God. Wait, the first, I told you this earlier. Yeah.

sage: The cooking videos,

jacob: Well, cooking videos. But no, on the beginning of my deep dive into TikTok two days ago was the Hailey, Selena, Justin Bieber. Oh yes. Benny Blanco drama.

sage: Well, tell us about that. 'cause I don't really

jacob: know. Well, so I only watched three or four parts of the seven part series because I just wanted to move on to a different realm.

And, it started off with this one creator. I'm not sure if she's like, I didn't follow her or anything. She just kind of like was the gateway into this whole series for me. But, uh, she was in her bonnet just like recording herself in bed in the middle of the night. And I was laying in my bed in the middle of the night wearing my bonnet.

And party and I, yeah. And I was just like, you know what? This girl probably has like some really interesting things to say. And all of a sudden she just says, oh. Hailey Bieber's crazy. Like you guys, I thought you were just like trying to be like nonchalant and like cutesy and like piss her off. But like, no, she's like clinically [00:11:00] insane.

Didn't she

sage: stalk Justin Bieber, like at his resort?

jacob: Probably, but like the, the where I kind of fell off because I was like, yeah, that that'd be enough for me to like, just not even crazy. Not even, yeah.

sage: who you're talking to? I have been trying to find a man I haven't talked to in seven

jacob: years.

Okay. But this, this woman, Hailey Bieber, like if you're watching this, I don't know if, I don't know why you would, but anyways, she love

sage: love you,

jacob: love your hair, hope you win. But um, no, she apparently, like, while Selena Gomez was in rehab, did like drive-bys in front of her house and like that I don't, I don't even know if she like.

Not as assault, not not assaulted her, but like, I don't even know if there was like any act done when during these drive-bys, you know? But just a drive by alone is creepy as I as fuck. Yeah. I've heard by anybody's house. N neither have i.

sage: I. almost did once, but then my roommates were like, no,

jacob: who was the person

sage: He out shall not be named. Oh,

jacob: Oh,

sage: but he also lives in [00:12:00] an apartment. No, actually they were like, oh, we would totally be down for a drive by if it was a house. But like what are you gonna

jacob: do in an apartment? Like Yeah, that's true. You can't really see anything. Yeah. Can you even get in? It's probably gated, you know?

sage: Yeah. It was gated.

jacob: Oh, but so, yeah, but the drive by alone in front

sage: and also driving by someone's rehab is crazy.

jacob: I don't know if she drove by the rehab. Oh, I thought so. I think I like, like I think she was in rehab at the time.

But, she must have like just gotten back. Or maybe she was in rehab and Hailey didn't know that Selena was at home and she just like drove by regardless. But like, no, she was caught driving by like her house. I don't know if she said anything. This is when I swiped away and went to the next

sage: You were bored.

jacob: Yeah. Um, but

sage: yeah. That's crazy.

jacob: was just like

sage: a drive by is is

jacob: It just, like nothing that she did was in good taste, I think

sage: Well, especially 'cause it's one thing if you're like driving by a man's house that's like doing you dirty or like, you're like, what the fuck? Why aren't you responding to me?

'cause that's just like party [00:13:00] a Right. Like party. And that's still, I would still would've been like, that was one of my crazier moments in life if I had done that. But I didn't anyway. Um, it's a whole nother level of crazy if it's like somebody that you're interested in, like girlfriend or ex, you know, like I never did that or I wouldn't even consider doing that 'cause like leave that girl alone.

jacob: Yeah. Um, I don't know. And like the, actually what was interesting to me was the first part of this series, um, it, the narrator was describing that, you know, when Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez were together back in what, 2014, 15?

That was probably like near, like, that was probably the peak, right? Yeah. Of when they were together. Um, you know, kids that were our age, we grew up literally watching that relationship

sage: Yeah. And I'm still a team Sel, Justin.

jacob: Yeah. Like, I don't know, like there's just, it's almost like a nostalgic topic.

Yeah. Like, for, for people our age to talk about Perfect. And they like, that was like the epitome of a perfect relationship in our [00:14:00] eyes.

sage: Yeah. I mean,

jacob: Yeah. Little did. Clearly it wasn't. Little did we know that like, relationships just like, aren't like what we think they are at the time, but it's, it was just insane because Hailey Bieber is not that much older than we are.

I wanna say she's maybe late twenties.

sage: And how old is Justin Bieber?

jacob: Early thirties, close to mid thirties, maybe that's Gap. Yeah, I mean, I, I'm the, I'm, that's the least of my concerns, honestly. Unless if you're like Leonard DiCaprio, but, um,

sage: yeah, yeah, yeah.

jacob: She, uh, no. So when the whole Selena versus Hailey drama started, like the narrator was describing like, well, like Hailey Bieber probably wanted to be in that relationship.

Just like a lot of like delusional, like young, yeah. Like people wanted to be too. And I was like, oh wow. Okay. So it stems from just like wanting, from wanting, well, it stems from like a fan's, yeah. A fan's perspective ish. I don't think she was famous at the [00:15:00] time, but she

sage: isn't she? Um. She's a, a Baldwin. So she had

jacob: family money. Yeah, then, you know, nepotism, she became a supermodel, just like all of them do, you know? But, um,

sage: and the thing that's so funny to me, I, I think they were talking about this, it was probably the

jacob: canceled podcast with Tana Mojo, but it

sage: might've been somewhere else too, I can't remember. But they were talking about how she like yearns to be

jacob: by her own. Right.

sage: So much

jacob: that she'll like

sage: um, these like pop culture magazines to like be like Hailey Bieber's like skincare, but nobody cares.

jacob: No. Well, and plus how can you be famous of your own Right. When it, you didn't even start.

sage: Yeah. She

jacob: Yeah. She was a big, you didn't even, you didn't. Well, no, but she didn't, she got famous from marrying Justin Bieber, marrying Justin Bieber. And then you, like you said, she's a Baldwin. She had like the familial money and connections I'm shore.

sage: But even like Paris Hilton had that, but she like built her own brand, you know?

jacob: Well, yeah. But [00:16:00] when you have money and connections, you are kind of like put in front of people constantly all the time. Whether or not you wanna be famous. And I guess what you're saying is like, yeah, as she built her own brand by I guess being smart about how and the industry worked at the time, you know,

sage: like care about, like I'm a fan of Paris Hilton. Right. Like, I like, like if her TikTok comes up, like, I'll watch it. Yeah. Hey, Lee Bieber.

jacob: No. Yeah. No, but I mean like, think about it, if we were put into, you know, say the shoes of either one of those two women Yeah. You don't think that we would be able to like, it would be so easy.

sage: Yeah.

it it's way easier. And she pretty much got famous for being like a club girl in the early two thousands, which like

jacob: fucking get it. Yeah. Yeah. Her and Kim Kay. Right. Isn't that, that's when that whole era started. Yeah. It was, was was, it was Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. Yeah. Because Kim Kardashian was her stylist or something like that. I don't know the connection there.

I just know that Kim Kardashian basically [00:17:00] got famous for a sex tape. Yes. But before that happened, it was Paris Hilton, Kim K was a sidekick. And I believe she was Paris Hilton's stylist. Okay. Or something like that, I believe. And then, and then she turned into like,

sage: her

jacob: her, her, her like club side kick.

yeah, yeah. Get

sage: Get it, get it. Diva's.

jacob: Diva's. Hey, maybe that'll happen to us. Who knows? Yeah. I mean, minus the sex tape part. 'cause like,

sage: hell no, I'm not doing that.

jacob: We're not, we're not getting hoes. I know that for sure.

sage: Oh, speaking of just that era of TV

jacob: already gone.

I don't know. I feel like we should have gotten to, um,

sage: that era of like

jacob: media

sage: and like couples. I'm rewatching the Vampire Diaries for like probably the 50th time comfort show. I love it. Yeah. The fact that they had to write the main character Elena out of the show because that couple broke up in real life. It was just like terrible. Also, they should have probably written Damon out instead of Elena.

Like, you [00:18:00] don't know who I'm talking about, but I

jacob: I don't, but like, how about we just like, don't shit where Eat. Did they start dating because of the show

sage: Yeah, and then she like started dating him in the show because before that she was dating another guy in the show and then she switched him.

Then they broke up and then they had to ride her out 'cause it was awkward. And then she just wasn't in the show for the last two seasons and it was just stupid. Like she made the entire show.

jacob: I don't know. I mean, uh, that is a form of shooting where you eat though, because it's a coworker. It's a coworker, yeah. Don't sleep with your coworkers, guys.

sage: I mean,

jacob: I've never done it, but like

sage: I would do it too if it was Ian Slander,

jacob: I mean, no Dick is that good, right?

sage: don't know. He's really

jacob: fucking hot. He's like, that doesn't mean anything though. He's,

sage: he's my only celebrity crush. Like, I don't, I literally the only one. Really? Yeah. But it's also probably 'cause of like his character in the show, and so it's like you

jacob: it's not a real person though.

sage: I know. But celebrity crushes aren't supposed to be like real, just

jacob: like a fun thing to, well, it [00:19:00] is a real thing, but like your, your idealization of him is based off of a character. Yeah.

sage: fake character. Yeah. But I mean, he does seem like a cool person in real life, but now he's like fucking old, so.

jacob: Oh yeah. Empire Diaries was like mid, like before 2010s, right?

Yeah. Is when it started. Yeah. Shit.

sage: Also, I love how like they're vampires that don't age, but like you can watch them age in the show. It's

jacob: just funny. We just didn't have good CGI. Yeah. I feel like it would've been, if it came out today, I feel like it would've been

sage: Done better.

jacob: would've slayed. Yeah.

sage: Whatever. Doesn't matter. That was just my rant. I'm sad that they broke

jacob: Celebrity crushes though. You only have one. Just one. I can easily name like three.

sage: Hard to impress.

jacob: Okay. Well, um, Theo James, In no particular order, Theo James. Um, Francois or Nod,

sage: I don't know who

jacob: that is. A lot of people don't.

Um, I would say he's been in a few, like 8 24 productions. Uh, I know him best from his performance in the Borjas originally on Showtime, but I believe it's still on Netflix. [00:20:00] Um, fell in love with the story of that family, and that's actually where I got the idea for my, my stage name because they had a daughter named Reia Borja and I was obsessed with that name.

And she was just like this, pretty Spanish girl who had like, long, curly hair and was just like the bubbly, like cutesy one. And I was like, I am her, but boy,

And so I did like the, the masculine, like Spanish formation of that name. So I just added an O instead of an A Lucia.

And then, um, but no, uh, Francois, no played Chere Borja. Um, and. Yeah. No, he's just a beautiful, beautiful man. Um, it's also funny because all these people I'm mentioning are European. Yeah. So Theo James, he's English, I believe. Francois No. Is French. French. French Canadian. And then, um, Henry Caval.

Henry Cave's very beautiful. He's married though. He just, he just had a baby. Henry Cavel, he played a Superman, um,

sage: movie that I have not

jacob: [00:21:00] watched. It was like one of like the OG Supermans too.

sage: There are like, half my life is

jacob: people just telling me I need to watch movies. And I am just

sage: like, okay, I will. And

jacob: then they don't, have you seen The Witcher?

Nope. What the fuck, dude? And

sage: then I just watch the Vampire RAs again instead of watching the new movie.

jacob: Okay. Well, I I, I get that. Well, because like movies, well, this is also doesn't make any sense, but for me, I'm just like, oh, to like commit to watching, sitting down and watching a movie, yet I'll binge like four one hour episodes of a singular show.

Yeah. Well instead of just watching a movie,

sage: I have a specific reasoning for why I like TV more. It's 'cause I get emotionally attached to the characters and then I like to watch their whole

jacob: Mm. Like story unfold. It's hard to do that in a movie.

sage: in a movie. Yeah. Like, I don't care about these people.

jacob: Hmm. Um, Henry Cabell is British. He's not American. I thought he was American for a second. These are all European men.

sage: You have a type

jacob: Me do. Like, he's so, yeah,

sage: He looks kind of like my,

jacob: he's like Carson, but yeah, he's like Carson, but ossified, you know,

sage: I, I was [00:22:00] gonna say, he kind of looks like

jacob: Mr. Big, my Mr.

Big. Oh, I mean, kind of, kind of. Barely.

sage: Hmm. Yeah.

jacob: Barely. Barely. But, um, Chris Evans is also very beautiful. He's American. Right? Okay. I think,

sage: Well, that's the most realistic

jacob: one then, but probably of English descent most likely. Um,

sage: you like British men?

jacob: I guess so. But um. I don't know. That's all I can think of right now.

As far as celebrity crushes go, I did have a, a slight little crush on Harry styles for a little bit there.

It was like when he released his first self-titled album. Okay. And I saw him in concert. There was some really good songs album. That album is great. Yeah. That album is great.

No skips? Well, maybe a couple, but you know, overall solid. Eight and a half. Outta 10. Yeah.

sage: Okay.

jacob: Should

sage: we talk about my conspiracy theory Land of the week?

jacob: Yes. Wait, um, Hopi Prophecy

sage: Yes. Somehow

jacob: Hopi Prophecy. I

sage: always find more conspiracies I think that I've found them all. And then [00:23:00] another one just shows up on my TikTok.

And this one is kind of Arizona specific. So

jacob: what's Hopi?

sage: So Hopi is a Native American tribe. Okay.

jacob: That are in Arizona.

sage: I don't

jacob: know where, I'm sorry. In Arizona. Somewhere in Arizona.

sage: There's a lot of Native

jacob: American tribal land here. Yeah. You don't know. Um,

sage: but they have something called the Hopi Prophecy that they have like this ancestral knowledge, like this is like essentially their spirituality or their religion.

Mm-hmm. They believe that the world has ended. Three times and it's about to end again. And you know, I've already stated my theory on here that everyone wants to always be around when the world is ending. Like everyone always thinks the world is gonna end. It never does. And I'm not saying that I'm buying into this, I just thought it was interesting and like, if I'm gonna believe anybody, it's low key them

jacob: because Yeah.

Their story was compelling to me. Yes.

sage: Yeah.

jacob: How soon is it supposed to end?

sage: Well, I'm gonna get to that.

jacob: Oh, okay. [00:24:00] Well, but have you seen the news about the underwater volcano in the Cascadia region at the United States?

Have you heard about it? I think I sent you a TikTok.

sage: you did.

jacob: So like

sage: is up north, right?

jacob: No, the Northwest. Yeah. Washington, Oregon.

sage: that's fucking Wanda Fuca.

jacob: That's one. The, the the under, yeah, the underwater

sage: The Cascadia fault. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so this is funny that you bring this up. I don't know why I said it like that.

Funny, funny. But you bring this up because growing up in Oregon it was always like a looming threat. We just called it the big one.

jacob: Because I mean, the whole West coast has been calling it like the big one for a minute now.

sage: Well, there's a San Andreas fault line and then there's the w de Fuca fault line, which is

jacob: up, but that one's even bigger.

Yeah. And I feel like affects the whole, the West coast as a whole.

sage: Yeah. But it's like particularly bad for

jacob: like

sage: Portland, Seattle, and Vancouver, Canada.

jacob: Yeah. basically it's like

sage: hundreds of years overdue 'cause

jacob: it like, you

sage: know, we can [00:25:00] tell by.

jacob: cyclical, the archeological, I don't fucking know. Yeah.

We can tell that it shakes every couple hundred years. Mm-hmm.

sage: And we're so overdue for it that they taught about it in school. They were like it's inevitable. Like it's coming. Like this is what to do if it happens. And it was supposed to be like a nine point something magnitude, uh, with

jacob: 10 minutes of shaking.

sage: So it was like such a bad

jacob: earthquake

sage: it's beyond the

jacob: point of like conventional, stand in the doorframe,

sage: under the desk

jacob: because like, like no, like you should get outside Yeah.

sage: And to where

jacob: nothing can fall on you. Well, like the reason why I brought this up though was because, um, seismologists geologists, like all, all of Theists, they've been studying I guess the Wanda Fuca, like, it's the captivity

sage: fault line.

jacob: Yeah. But it's, it probably stems from that plate, right? Yeah. Um, but they've been noticing that the ground is swelling. Similar to, remember Mount St. Helen's, did you ever look into the Mount St. Mount St. Helens before it erupted? Mm-hmm. So it used Mount St. Helens [00:26:00] was like a really, really nice like pier. I don't wanna say pyramid in shape 'cause it's not like square, triangular, triangular.

Like, like it was a really, really nice like pretty volcano. And then like all of a sudden, like two weeks or something leading up to like the explosion, um, one side of the volcano, like concaved out Geez. And got round and then Mount St. Helen's. Why like the eruption is so unique is because it erupted. It exploded sideways.

It didn't explode up. So something about how like the magma was coming up, it like found its way easier through like, the side of the volcano. Yeah. And so that bulging that they saw, they're seeing it under the ocean. Geez. Which is even crazier because imagine like how much pressure like the water is putting on the sea floor and to be able to see bulging underwater.

Yeah. That like blows my mind. You know, like, and like imagine how powerful, I mean, it's an underwater volcano. It's like, I don't think there's gonna be [00:27:00] like. Actual like ash or like, you know, volcanic debris affecting affect affecting the land. But yeah, it's gonna stay underwater. It's not gonna like explode and like throw ash into the atmosphere or whatever.

I feel like it's still like, fucks it up though. Well, yeah, because if that happens there, then like the ground's gonna shift and then the Wanda Fuku is right there. It's probably going, it,

sage: it the big one that's coming. Yeah,

jacob: Like cnn,

sage: your earthquake kids, guys.

jacob: I saw C Nnn predict, I mean this seemed a little bit of, um, an overestimate in my opinion, but like, CNN apparently was predicting that like an underwater eruption could like, move plates around and then affect, , the other, faults and plates around it causing like up to 10,000 or whatever the fuck earthquakes like along the west coast and I mean in varying magnitudes I'm sure.

But, um, still like the, I don't know. So, so is this the end of the world according to the Hopi prophecy? Back to Hopi? Wait.

sage: it certainly would be the end of a lot of shit in Portland because here's just like some lore that nobody asked [00:28:00] for. I took a earthquake preparedness class

jacob: 'cause I was so scared about this when I was younger

sage: and lived there.

Um, a lot of

jacob: Portland is on what they call lable soil.

sage: So if there's an earthquake, it's just like just slides off of its foundation. And most of the older buildings in Portland aren't reinforced to the level that they need to be there's a ton of issues and they just pretty much ignore it, which has honestly worked so far.

jacob: Maybe they're just like manifesting it away. They're just like, that's not gonna

sage: happen.

jacob: and it hasn't. So, but like with shit like that, which we what? Like we can't just manifest mother nature away. Yeah. No. She has greater will than us. Yeah.

sage: Um, but yeah, I'm really glad

jacob: that I don't have to worry about that

sage: anymore.

But I do still have some family that lives in Portland,

jacob: I know. It's scary.

I don't know, like why? I mean, I understand that these cities were built way before we had the general understanding of how the earth works and whatnot, but like there doesn't seem to be like a rush to like fix or update anything, which is also [00:29:00] concerning because that's expensive.

I mean, I, I understand like the business and like the politics behind it, but you know,

sage: well, including the airport is on liquefy soil, by the way.

jacob: Okay, great. Well, so,

sage: yeah. Uh, just so you

jacob: know, people that live in Portland,

sage: um, okay. I would love

jacob: to be like in an airplane and like seeing Yeah, me too. The underwater volcano erupting for some reason,

sage: Or

jacob: or like the earth's shaking from an airplane.

I don't think you could see it though, could you? I don't know.

sage: Yeah. I feel like I would've seen

jacob: footage of that if that was like something that could occur. You could probably see like a tsunami forming for sure. Yeah. But. It's like an instant, just, you know, a funny interest of thought I have. Huh. You know?

Um, but anyways, first time it, the first time the world ended according to Hopi. Okay.

sage: the Hopi prophecies, this is Native Americans? Yes. So they believe that we're in the fourth cycle of the world. The first three times the world ended. The first one was in fire. So that would be the in, so they were saying this before like modern technology, right.

And, but these things have slowly been proven. 'cause that would've been the asteroid, right? [00:30:00] That killed the

jacob: Mm-hmm. Fire.

sage: And then, um, the ice age, they said the second one was ice, it was fire, then ice. And then, uh, the third one was a great flood, which is in line with the Bible. The Bible, and a lot of other religions as well.

And I think there is somewhat like archeological evidence of that. Not confirmed by myself, but I've heard that, that there is evidence of a great flood. But anyway, those three things, like the first two were definitely. Yes, those two happened. And then, um, I can't remember how they said that or if they know how they think the world is gonna end in the fourth cycle, but they say that there's nine signs, or like prophecies that need to be fulfilled

jacob: before

sage: before this happens.

And they say that eight of them have happened, and I'm gonna read them, eight of the nine. And they were like so serious about this that they were trying to take it to the attention of the US government and be like, you guys need to like, be aware of this. shit. Yeah. Which obviously they don't [00:31:00] give a fuck.

Yeah. But um, here are the nine signs. Mm-hmm. The white skinned people will come, they will take land that is not theirs. Okay. Well that

jacob: So that happened

sage: a couple hundred years ago

jacob: at the very beginning of the United States. Yes. Yeah.

sage: Our lands will see the coming of spinning wheels filled with voices.

So begin to, or they believe this to be described as covered wagons that brought the white people. Um, a strange beast, like a, like a buffalo will roam the land in great numbers. And I guess they interpret this to be longhorned cattle, which were introduced during colonization?

jacob: Do you know what else was introduced during colonization?

What horses? horses are,

sage: could also be a strange

jacob: are European. many,

sage: it's it's crazy to me. How many animals that we just take for granted, or they were they're

jacob: native, are only here due to colonization. Yeah. Yeah.

sage: Like I don't think, like, there wasn't chickens

jacob: like, no.

sage: there, I think there was like tobacco and corn and That's [00:32:00] it. What? Like as far as like common

jacob: cross. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cotton.

sage: I don't know.

jacob: Hm. I mean, I'm sure they had cotton in Europe because of could have been in both places, like clothes or whatever, but I wouldn't be surprised.

Huh. Weird. Okay, wait. Next,

sage: Okay. Next. Um, the land will be crossed by snakes of iron, and they say that this is railroads, which I, I kind of buy

jacob: mean tea. Yeah.

sage: Uh, the land will be crisscrossed by a giant spiderweb, and they think that this is like a telegraph, a telephone or internet lines or contraras. So, but also that's so fucking ominous, like crisscrossed by a giant spiderweb. That could also be roads, like highways.

jacob: They can like a

sage: spiderweb from above. Um, the land will be crisscrossed with rivers of stone that make pictures in the sun. Okay. They say this is paved roads and highways. That shimmer under sunlight.

jacob: Mm-hmm.

sage: Rivers of stone. That's, that's a road.

jacob: [00:33:00] Yeah.

sage: Um, you will hear of the sea turning black and many living things dying because of it. Uh, and they say this is oil

jacob: spills.

sage: And then you will see many youth who wear their hair long like our people and come to learn our ways. And they say this refers to the hippie movement in the sixties and seventies. Um, and then nine, which hasn't

jacob: been fulfilled yet.

sage: You will hear of a dwelling place in the heavens above the earth that shall fall with

jacob: a great crash.

sage: It will appear as a blue star. And very soon after this, the ceremonies of the Hopi people will see to exist. Um, so some people interpret this as like a space station or a celestial event like a comet. So like if a space station were to crash.

jacob: Interesting. Isn't there theories about the ISS like falling apart?

sage: I have not heard

jacob: that. Why did I just think of that? I feel like I saw like an Instagram reel or something about that. Maybe like, like the ISS is just old and it needs to be like repaired, but [00:34:00] they're like parts of it that like would cost billions of dollars. Literally an arm and a leg to like government standards to like fix it.

Yeah.

sage: So anyway,

jacob: so

sage: this is the most compelling like end of the world thing that I've come

jacob: across in a long time. I wondered like, so before, like before the world ended by fire or ice or great flood. These nine things had to have happened before that. But then again, no, this is just for like for this one.

Oh, for this one? Yeah. Okay. Interesting. Do you think if it ends, it'll be a combination of all three?

sage: I don't

jacob: know. And I also think that

sage: I'm not super worried about it because all of these things happened over hundreds of years. So

jacob: what's to say that

sage: last one isn't gonna take another a hundred years and

jacob: we'll be dead?

I mean, I don't know. Space station could fall outta the sky at any moment,

sage: but also like it wasn't really the world ending each time. Let's just call it like a mass extinction event. Yeah. Because people obviously survived the ice age and the great flood. So who's to say we wouldn't be the [00:35:00] survivors, but would you wanna survive an apocalypse?

No,

jacob: No,

sage: I just think it would not farewell for women.

jacob: I don't think it would. Yeah. I mean, especially women, but yeah, no, like, yeah, no, it's like the same thing with like, what if a zombie apocalypse happens? I'm like, eat me, dude. Like

sage: One time my current boss was like,

jacob: I'm gonna start a utopia

sage: And you can only be invited if you can

jacob: provide something.

And then she goes,

sage: well, you can have kids. And I was

jacob: like,

sage: thank you for diminishing.

jacob: She's a woman, by the way.

sage: I was like, thank you for diminishing me to my procreation

jacob: abilities. I'm like, I'm sorry, but like, you're not, it's not like you're providing like what you're, you're you're providing an inconvenience probably.

No.

sage: No. Well, and then I go, I

jacob: wait. That's probably really fucked up to say I, well, I

sage: don't, I don't care about that. I mean, we would need to continue

jacob: the human population. So, no, it's

sage: not an inconvenience, but like, I was just like, wow, like I'm

jacob: your employee, you really don't think I can

sage: contribute anything [00:36:00] besides having kids.

And then

I go, well, I also know how to shoot a gun. And then I go, I can make life and take it away,

jacob: period. But, um, no, I guess what I meant to say by like inconvenience is like, if we're all focusing on surviving, like the last thing that I can think about is like taking care of a child.

sage: Yeah. But she had like a whole plan for her utopia. But keep in mind what she was gonna contribute is teaching people Pilates. So I think my ability to use a gun is more valuable

jacob: teaching people Pilates. And

sage: Pilates. And I do know like, a little bit about survivalist shit because of that big one,

jacob: earthquake threat. Oh, that's true.

Yeah.

sage: I studied

jacob: up, I don't know anything. I mean, yeah, hopefully it'll have an engineering degree soon, so I could contribute that. But then again, like if the world ends, I'm sorry, I'm not,

sage: I'm I'm clocked

jacob: out. I'm not building anything. You know, like, well this reminds me, I had some customers that came in the other day,

sage: they lived in Maui and my family visits Maui a lot.

So I immediately [00:37:00] started yapping with them about Maui and like, like the La Haena fires. And all the

jacob: different things. And

sage: they were like, you know what else we had is, do you remember when there was that missile threat?

jacob: Wait, wait. And I was like, I like vaguely rem you like,

sage: I think I've probably brought it up before 'cause it's one of my hyper fixations.

Yeah. But, and I was like, oh my god. Yeah, I know all about that. Like, that's crazy. For anybody that doesn't know what I'm talking about. In Hawaii, they had that accidental quote, unquote, let's just call it accidental. 'cause that's the official story. Like, uh, emergency alert that

jacob: went to everyone's phone.

That was like a missile

sage: is incoming.

Like take cover, like basically

jacob: like

sage: say your goodbyes, you're done. And I was like, oh my God, what did you do? To the lady that was there and she was like, I made a martini.

jacob: like, you were

sage: are so fucking real for that

jacob: I made a martini. Wait, so where did that No, I remember seeing this.

Yeah. I, I feel like we had to have been in high school when that happened. Right? I think it was like 2016. Yeah. Whoa. What would you have done? I [00:38:00] probably just like, call my mom, tell her I love her and take a bunch of shots. Hmm. I probably would've jacked off, to be honest. Like,

sage: You know

jacob: I know I'm being dead serious.

Like, you're

sage: like, one more time. I think I would be

jacob: too

sage: too scared to

jacob: get off though. Like

sage: it would not happen.

jacob: I mean, it's like so easy for men, you know what I mean? Yeah. So like, whatever doesn't

sage: that way for women. But, um, I, I do have a favorite story from that and it's, uh, there was one guy that called his ex-girlfriend and was like, I still love you. And they're married now.

jacob: Oh. From the, from

sage: The ballistic threat.

He was like, well, I only have five minutes. I'm just gonna like, call

jacob: her and tell her. And

sage: I don't know if he actually got a hold of her, if he left a message, but they ended up getting married together and getting married.

jacob: What, where was the threat coming from? Do you know what I mean?

sage: It was just like, why

jacob: would the government

sage: somebody got fired that day.

jacob: Didn't they like label it as like a Oh, it was just like, just just for practice It just an accident? Yeah, just for practice. Ha [00:39:00] ha.

sage: Well, they said it was an accident.

jacob: Oh.

sage: But like, like the conspiracy theory land is it wasn't, but like we deflected it and then they just like said it was an accident so people didn't freak out.

jacob: Where do you think it was coming from though? From US or from like North Korea? Probably.

Hmm. trying a new ghost.

I don't know. Maybe if they like put some of that ingenuity into feeding their population. Yeah. Maybe like things will get better faster. I don't know.

sage: Just a thought. you could say the same for us though.

jacob: I, speaking of North Korea, I watched a Viceland documentary on

sage: on YouTube. I, I love Vice.

jacob: love Vice. Um, they had one about North Korean influencers. Yes. So the, so, so, so there's like a handful of North Korean, like, you know, young girls, young boys. Probably like the oldest being like early twenties, youngest being. Nine or 10 I wanna say. But, um, there's one in particular that went viral on TikTok,

sage: Are we at TikTok?

jacob: Oh, TikTok, yes, but, well,

sage: [00:40:00] China's TikTok, but

jacob: Yep.

No, but her account, it no longer exists anymore because it was getting so big. Um,

sage: and she was gonna be like, send me food. like.

jacob: well, no, but like, the accounts are all monitored by the government, but like the government acts as like, almost like a casting director, you know? They like, they, they like allow certain people to Yes.

It essentially was just, it was a propaganda of course. You know, just like, oh yes, like, love our country. It's great. Here, come visit us. You know, like that, that's what these influencers were, were doing because they were told Yeah. To do that by their government and oh my God, it, it, it.

Creepy, creepy Glen. And like these people are, I don't know if they're trained to be like this, but they're so robotic in their like videos and stuff that they post that. At first I thought it was AI just because of how weird it was, but like I, it'd probably be cheaper to just like be like, I'll give you a Taco Bell.

[00:41:00] We can cheese a burrito if you make this video. They don't have a Taco Bell there.

sage: They can import it specifically

jacob: for the the,

sage: this infant.

jacob: with our tariffs.

sage: okay. Here's a chocolate chip cookie in exchange for you to make this.

jacob: Yeah. But I mean, I guess these people do get paid somewhat handsomely, so No, that's, they, they live well.

And also all the people that are like chosen to be influencers don't live in the slums they live in.

sage: They're in like the

jacob: rich population. Yeah, the capital. Yeah. Yeah. And even then the capital, there's not much going on there.

sage: No, I think it all sucks.

jacob: Yeah, like have you seen the videos about like their giant, like monoliths that they've built or like hotels and like places for people to visit, but it's just dead.

No one ever. There's no one there.

sage: Well, can we talk about the guy that like stole a

jacob: poster and then ended up in a vegetative state? Do you, you know about that, right? What That was like major news.

sage: There was an American, and I don't

jacob: know how old he was probably like 19, 20, early twenties,

sage: and he went to North Korea.

Like they don't allow [00:42:00] Americans at all anymore, but this is when they still did. And he stole a poster. He was like in the designated hotel that they allow tourists to go into. Mm-hmm. Because of course they like brainwash this whole experience and they're like, you can only see this and we're gonna like fill it with fake people and make it look.

jacob: It's very creepy.

sage: But

he went and they do take you out to like party,

jacob: like,

sage: I like wanna

jacob: defend this man. A hundred percent. Because I would've done the same shit.

sage: Like they take you out to like their one karaoke bar, like whatever. He was probably drunk. He comes back and he like went to like a floor of the hotel that he wasn't supposed to go to and stole a poster, like a propaganda poster.

jacob: Yeah.

sage: And then they arrested him and then he was like in North Korean prison for years. And the entire time the US is like trying to like bargain to get him out. 'cause at that point he's like a hostage. Like you can't just do that.

jacob: Um,

sage: with international people.

jacob: This, did this happen years ago?

Yeah. Right. Years [00:43:00] ago. This wasn't sometime recent. No. Okay. I feel like I remember hearing something about this. Yeah. But,

sage: but then eventually they were like, yeah, you can have him back. And then when we got him back, he was like in a coma and everyone's like, well, what the fuck did you do to him? And they said he had botulism, which is what you get from like eating expired canned food.

Yeah. And everyone's like, yeah, that's bullshit. So basically, I feel so bad for that guy

jacob: because all he did was steal a poster. Yeah. I mean like imagine the amount of things that we stolen out of bars. Yeah. Like we'd be dead.

sage: we would also be in a coma in North Korea.

jacob: No. With the amount that we've stolen, I don't think we would be dead.

sage: Yeah. We'd be just straight

jacob: to Bete. To north to North Korean standards. Yeah. Yeah. But um, that's crazy. Yeah. I

sage: very

jacob: much sadness for that family and that guy. We should do an update on him. Is he okay? No, I think, I think he died. Oh, sorry.

Sorry. Ripped though, Mr.

sage: I'm so sorry that you experienced that. You were just trying to have a good time.

jacob: [00:44:00] Yeah, Tim. Was he having a good, like, I don't know. 'cause I've seen YouTube videos about people in North Korea and they're just like, it's so empty here and weird and it sucks and everything seems staged. Like, I don't know how enjoyable that would be. I

sage: but like, it's so boring and you're

jacob: like trying to do something interesting. So you

sage: take this damn poster and then you fucking die. Like, I, yeah.

jacob: So weird. So weird, so weird.

sage: Ugh.

jacob: The only other thing I have to talk about this week is, um, my friend,

sage: uh. She has been, she was broken up with in like

jacob: November-ish.

Yeah. November. Mm-hmm. And we've

sage: on like, our crash out journey together for the last couple months.

But she was just, because I caught up to her a few

jacob: later. Gracie what? Gracie

sage: No, no. This is, her name is Mel. I don't, you guys have never met.

jacob: No. Um,

sage: but she,

jacob: TikTok recently

sage: just as a joke, she was like, dating apps aren't working. If you wanna date me, here's [00:45:00] like the, some facts about

jacob: me, DM me. And it blew up.

sage: She's at like 60,000 views, I think, and like hundreds of comments and like guys in her dms live like. People that live in the area. And she was like, Sage, like fuck. Like what do I do? Like how, how do I like sift through all these? And I was like, girl, you gotta make a Google forum. So I like sat down and helped her write the questions and stuff.

And she's gotten over 150 responses and she's like, divying out.

jacob: Yeah. Wait, so this was within the last week?

sage: Yeah. so I don't think that she's met up with anyone yet, but I told her, I was like, before I proposed the Google Forum, because I was like, just going for maximum chaos. I was like, you should just post another TikTok that's like, I'm gonna be at this bar this time.

Like pull up.

jacob: What were some of the questions on the Google form? yearly income,

sage: I, no, I

jacob: wrote

sage: them because she was like, she was like, okay, I need to know this information. And then I like wrote the question to like, get the information, [00:46:00] but like still making an interesting answer.

She wanted to know like what they do for work and then, or if they have a job. And I was like, no. Okay, we're gonna write it like this. And I go, what's your dream job? And if you're not doing it now, then why not? And then next question was, uh, what do you do in your free time? And I said, what did you, I wrote it as, what did you do last Friday night?

The more details, the better. And then that also gives you, if they're a good

jacob: Mm-hmm. Um, interesting.

sage: And then the rest of 'em were just like, what would make you wanna have kids with someone? And then I can't remember the other

jacob: ones, but I mean, I thought they were good questions. Yeah,

sage: Yeah. I mean, I wrote them so

jacob: work,

sage: Um,

jacob: uh, that's actually, that's a really good idea. But I don't know. I also don't want to sift through

sage: I think she's enjoying it.

jacob: I don't know. I would get sick of it really quickly.

Would you consider that meeting organically?

sage: Yeah, because there's

jacob: like a fun story behind it.

sage: It's not just like, oh, I men on Hinge. And she was like really impressed with the responses that she was Like, I'm sure not [00:47:00] all 150 were standouts, but she was like, this is like low key. Restoring my faith in men. Like some of the responses,

jacob: honestly, like speaking for me, if I saw someone online doing that, even if I thought. That they were remotely attractive,

sage: you would do it for the bit.

jacob: I wouldn't do it. I would do it like, like, like, like I wouldn't fill out the, the, I

sage: sorry, sorry for just

jacob: scroll up. Like get, sorry. Like I, I don't know, like, I'd be like, oh, like good luck, have fun.

But no,

sage: I just like have this need to do things for the bit because like imagine if I did win the date and then like I could talk about it on the podcast.

jacob: Have you ever met a man that does things for the bit though? that seems like a red flag to me.

sage: Sorry, my friend is texting me. She said, okay. So like an hour ago

jacob: she texted

sage: me that she needed me to stalk somebody and find her information because like she knows I'm good at that.

And then she just texted me an update and she said, nevermind. I found her. And it's her current

jacob: boyfriend's ex. She didn't tell me that [00:48:00] before. It sounds like she just found out. Yeah,

sage: She just did the work herself. So now I can go back to stalking the person that I've been trying to stalk.

jacob: The one that we started Yeah. Started at the top with.

Okay. Well anyway, uh, it sounds like you found all the information that you're gonna find. I dunno.

sage: Yeah, I think I'm,

jacob: I'm stopped at the phone number.

sage: I'm

jacob: just like, unless you go to that country and ask around.

sage: I I could.

jacob: is it a small enough country? Like people, like

sage: it's a large country, but I've

jacob: narrowed it down to a city Russia.

sage: I know.

jacob: we're friends with this country. Don't worry. I don't know what the fuck our allies are. Israel. Oh, are we friends with Canada right now?

sage: Well, maybe not Trump, but I am. I love Canada.

jacob: I just assume that because of Mr. Man, that, um, like I just assume everybody hates us right now.

sage: Yeah, they do. The Canadians aren't coming to Old Town Scottsdale and we're losing money.

jacob: Mm-hmm. Our tourism rates have gone way down [00:49:00] too.

sage: Yeah. It's kind of sad. But you know what? I'm gonna go to Canada and I'm gonna find this guy Canada, and I'm gonna, and I'm gonna tell every Canadian to come to Old Town Scottsdale. I'm gonna single handedly save old town.

jacob: Well, it's also hot now, so I think that just no one's coming here. Escape the heat period. Heat, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it's kind of

sage: Yeah.

jacob: Anyways, um, bye.

sage: bye