1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:07,520
This is a sand mandala. The entire 
structure is made of coloured sand.

2
00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:14,040
The creation of sand mandalas is a cherished 
practice among Tibetan Buddhist monks. These  

3
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:19,640
mandalas are usually enormous in 
size, incredibly complex in design,  

4
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:26,800
and stunning to look at. When they’re finished, 
the monks then ritually destroy the mandalas.

5
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:32,080
The making of such a sand mandala usually 
takes a number of monks - sometimes up to  

6
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:37,760
twenty - and anything from days to 
months to complete. While the monks  

7
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:42,680
put their heart and soul into creating 
the mandala, they miss out on everything  

8
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:49,800
else they could be doing with their time. And 
yet they never feel like they’re missing out.

9
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:54,640
In other words: why don’t the monks 
ever experience the fear of missing  

10
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:59,440
out or FOMO? And how can we be more like them?

11
00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:04,520
FOMO is a phenomenon that many - if 
not all - people experience when they  

12
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:10,240
try to plan their time. When all your 
friends go to a party but you stay home,  

13
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:15,760
when you didn’t get those concert tickets and 
now regret it, when a family member goes to  

14
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:22,800
a certain country but you’re too busy with work 
to join… in all those cases you might feel as if  

15
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:29,640
you’ve missed out. And if there’s a feeling most 
people hate, it’s missing out, or worse, being  

16
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:36,920
left out. As a result, we often overstimulate 
ourselves by saying yes to too many activities,  

17
00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:44,520
spending too much money, and staying too busy 
in order to avoid ever missing out on anything.

18
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:51,000
The title "Buddha" means "the awakened one" 
or "the enlightened one." It was originally  

19
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:56,640
assigned to Siddhartha Gautama, a spiritual 
teacher and philosopher whose teachings founded  

20
00:01:56,640 --> 00:02:02,800
Buddhism. Unlike many religions that focus 
on a God or afterlife, Buddhism emphasizes  

21
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:09,400
self-improvement and living a meaningful life on 
Earth. Following Buddhist principles encourages  

22
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:17,080
qualities such as gratitude, humility, and living 
in the present, all of which help prevent FOMO.

23
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:23,120
Those who truly incorporate buddhism into their 
lives will find that there is JOY in missing out,  

24
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:29,360
rather than negativity. In this video you will 
learn how to deal with fear of missing out and  

25
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:37,000
instead start feeling the Joy Of Missing 
Out all according to Buddhist frameworks.

26
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:43,760
1, Embrace Solitude
Buddha says “Do not  

27
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:50,080
look for a sanctuary in anyone except yourself.”

28
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:56,320
One of the key aspects of missing out - an 
aspect that most people absolutely hate - is  

29
00:02:56,320 --> 00:03:02,640
being alone. Imagine, for a moment, that there’s 
a big concert in town. If all your friends went  

30
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:08,600
except for you, you would feel lonelier. You 
know they’ll be talking about it afterwards,  

31
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,840
and that you will be left out of 
that conversation. They’ll have  

32
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:18,680
all experienced something together that 
didn’t include you, and that feels lonely.

33
00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:24,240
Even if none of your friends go, the internet can 
perfectly simulate this feeling of loneliness and  

34
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:29,800
missing out. Seeing posts from those who attended 
the concert, whether they’re acquaintances or  

35
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:36,280
strangers, can make you feel completely left out. 
People will go onto social media to share the best  

36
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:41,640
videos of that night, praise how amazing it 
was, and seeing this will make you feel bad  

37
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:48,160
about your decision not to go. And how could you 
not, if seemingly everyone in the world shared  

38
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:56,720
this amazing experience that you missed out on? 
Again, it feels incredibly lonely. Now imagine  

39
00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:04,000
that you didn’t go to see the concert, but nobody 
you know went, and those who did go did not post  

40
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:11,000
about it online. You don’t see or hear anything 
about the concert anywhere. Would you still feel  

41
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:17,080
just as bad? Or would you just forget about 
it and move on? For most people, the answer  

42
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:24,280
is probably the latter. Our fear of missing out 
is incredibly close to our fear of being alone.

43
00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:29,440
Shared experiences often bond people, so 
missing out on those makes you feel less  

44
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:34,680
connected with those around you. You only 
feel bad about your choices when you know  

45
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:38,520
others did something different 
and seem happier than you are.

46
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:43,560
But now think about the Buddhists, working on 
a sand mandala for weeks while others in their  

47
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:50,320
community go to festivities and have fun. Why 
didn’t they feel lonely? Why didn’t they feel  

48
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:57,240
like they missed out? Because Buddhists know 
that no company can truly make you happy,  

49
00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:04,720
except your own. Buddhists understand 
that true happiness comes from within.

50
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:10,360
If you quit looking at social media, fostering 
jealousy, and truly think about what would make  

51
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:16,480
you happy as an individual - you find the 
key to living your best life. You don’t  

52
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:22,840
need concerts or experiences to be happy; 
you need the right mindset. And you need to  

53
00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:28,600
start seeing yourself as a unique human 
being, rather than as part of a group.

54
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:34,440
Buddhism recommends that rather than seeking 
validation through external experiences. If you  

55
00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:40,160
don’t seek out what others have done, you won’t 
feel bad in comparison. And when you find joy  

56
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:45,960
in your own life, you will find that you don’t 
need to copy their behavior to feel connected.  

57
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:52,280
In other words: when you realize your solitude 
can be your strength, fear of missing out will  

58
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:59,680
lose its grasp on you.
2. Trust Your Own Plans

59
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,920
In the words of Buddha “When you realize how  

60
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:08,960
perfect everything is you will tilt 
your head back and laugh at the sky.”

61
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:14,120
FOMO is not just something one feels when 
everybody goes to a party except you,  

62
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:19,640
or when people get an afternoon off and you 
still have to work. It can also occur when  

63
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:25,240
all your friends are getting married but you, 
when they start buying houses or having kids,  

64
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:29,640
when they progress in their careers 
and you don’t… When the people around  

65
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:35,120
you start taking big steps in life and 
you don’t feel like you’re there yet,  

66
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:43,120
FOMO can be a frightening feeling: the feeling 
that you’re falling behind or stagnating.

67
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:48,960
It is almost impossible to convince yourself 
that those who have everything you want are not  

68
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:54,720
more successful than you are, but in the end, 
no matter how counterintuitive it might seem,  

69
00:06:54,720 --> 00:07:02,080
it is the truth. Imagine, for a moment, a friend 
of yours. This friend has their dream job,  

70
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:07,760
is married, has bought a house - and meanwhile, 
you’re still struggling to keep up with your  

71
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:13,720
career, your love life, and your home life. It 
might feel that if you had your friend’s life,  

72
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:18,320
you would be happy and fulfilled. In fact, 
you might feel like you could have had your  

73
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:23,760
friend’s life, had you just tried a little 
harder and been a little smarter. Neither  

74
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:29,040
of these statements, however, are true.
When people compare themselves to others  

75
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:34,920
and worry about missing out, they 
often overlook the nuances involved.

76
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:40,960
You are not a copy of another person; 
you are unique and entirely different,  

77
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:48,640
with a distinct life, tempo, and even - believe it 
or not - desires, and wishes. Your friend’s life  

78
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:54,160
would not make you happy because you are unique. 
Their partner might not be a great fit for you,  

79
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:59,640
their dream house is probably not your dream 
house, and their job, even in the same field,  

80
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:04,720
might well be entirely unsuitable for you. 
True happiness comes from the things you  

81
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:11,600
have actively chosen and worked for yourself. 
And so it can only happen by working towards  

82
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:17,920
something and then achieving that yourself 
just like creating a beautiful sand mandala.

83
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:22,600
Of course, many people don’t want the actual 
specifics of the lives they are jealous of,  

84
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:30,360
but rather an abstract version of it. You 
want a partner, a house, a well-paying and  

85
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:37,480
well-respected job. So why does your friend 
have all of this already, and you don’t?

86
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:42,520
Buddhists are very outspoken in the 
idea that your life is yours alone,  

87
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:49,000
and the way it is going is the way it is meant to 
be. When you want something and you want it now,  

88
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:53,600
you fail to appreciate what you already 
have and enjoy the small things in your  

89
00:08:53,600 --> 00:09:01,080
own life. While ambition is good, those who 
get lost in it always become miserable. Think  

90
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:07,920
of married people who get bored and cheat or 
of rich people who still overwork themselves. 

91
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:14,000
Life is not a matter of achieving something 
and then clinging onto it for the rest of time.

92
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:20,000
In fact, Buddhists stress that nothing is 
permanent and everything always changes.  

93
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:25,400
But if that’s the case, why would you 
need what you want to achieve right now  

94
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:29,560
specifically? When you allow yourself 
to find pleasure in the small things  

95
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:35,480
in life and trust that what it is you want will 
come to you in due time, you will find that when  

96
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:42,600
this finally becomes true, you have the peace 
and rest in yourself to truly enjoy it, as well.

97
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:46,320
Even though your friend has a 
lot of things you also want,  

98
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:51,440
that does not mean they are necessarily 
happier or more fulfilled. In fact,  

99
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:56,600
fulfillment often comes from the effort and 
motivation of working towards something,  

100
00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:01,680
rather than the end results. And if you’re 
working towards something for a little while  

101
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:07,600
longer than those around you, you should feel 
blessed with your drive and opportunities,  

102
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:15,360
rather than left out. The real secret to happiness 
and fulfillment is in your ability to appreciate  

103
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:21,880
them, and you will only have this ability if you 
foster it from day one. It is not achievements or  

104
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:28,440
material possessions that you are missing out 
on, but merely something within your own soul.

105
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,920
3. Train Your Mind 

106
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:39,800
To quote Buddha “Nothing can harm you 
as much as your own thoughts unguarded."

107
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:46,400
In today’s society, with distraction around 
every corner and boredom almost extinct,  

108
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:52,720
it is very hard to clear your mind. But 
clearing your mind is essential to finding  

109
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:59,000
peace and happiness. Buddhists are particularly 
focused on it; one of their biggest practices,  

110
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:06,440
after all, is that of mindfulness. It is a way 
of focusing on the present without any regrets,  

111
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:11,400
disappointments, or distractions, 
and appreciating what you have.

112
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:18,360
Mindfulness comes from the Buddhist term 
‘sati’ or ‘smṛti’. A more direct translation,  

113
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:25,080
according to some, would be ‘pay attention 
to’, ‘to bear in mind,’ or ‘to remember.’  

114
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:30,880
So what is it you should bear in mind 
and remember? There are a few things:

115
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:37,840
The body. Pay attention to your physical 
sensations, such as your posture, your skin,  

116
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:41,880
your breathing, and how you 
change positions over time. 

117
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:49,280
Emotions. What do you feel right 
now, and is it positive or negative? 

118
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:56,680
Thoughts. What are you thinking about, and 
why are you thinking about this? And finally 

119
00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:06,200
Surroundings. What is real to you, and what 
isn’t? How are the things in your life connected?

120
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:11,560
Mindfulness is best practiced by 
practicing yoga or meditation.  

121
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:17,960
Sit in a quiet space where you know you 
won’t get interrupted. Focus on your body,  

122
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:23,720
like the first step describes, and try 
not to think of anything else. After a  

123
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:29,160
certain point, your breathing will be 
automatic, your body fully relaxed,  

124
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:39,600
and your thoughts will start to flow like a river. 
Let them. Observe without judgment or evaluation.

125
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:45,320
However, mindfulness is more than that. 
More casually, it can be brought into any  

126
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:50,760
kind of everyday activity. When you 
eat, drive to work, take a shower,  

127
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:56,760
or do anything mundane like that, try to 
be fully present in the activity. Don’t  

128
00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:03,120
think about anything else, don’t let 
yourself get distracted, and just do.

129
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:08,280
Negative feelings like the fear of missing out 
and the accompanying jealousy and loneliness  

130
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:14,000
often rear their ugly heads when your mind is 
too busy to challenge them. When you practice  

131
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:19,680
focusing on the moment and clearing your mind, 
though, you will find that unhelpful feelings  

132
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:25,880
have a much smaller chance to pop up, and that 
they are very easily defeated when they do. 

133
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:32,480
It is important to remember that, as most things, 
mindfulness is something you practice and get  

134
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:40,880
better at with time. You have to do it often and 
consistently to truly start internalizing it.

135
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:45,760
Before we move on, here is a small mindfulness 
practice you can do when you’re feeling left  

136
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:53,480
out. Take a moment to close your eyes and 
practice your breathing. When you feel in sync,  

137
00:13:53,480 --> 00:14:00,680
start to focus on your surroundings. 
Where are you? In bed? In the kitchen,  

138
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:08,240
washing dishes? At your desk, doing work? No 
matter your environment and current task, try  

139
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:16,000
to focus on it. What have you been doing? Why? How 
does it make you feel? And how could you make this  

140
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:21,680
more enjoyable for you? And why is it important 
to be doing the things you’re doing at this  

141
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:29,480
current moment? Let any thoughts of what you’re 
missing out on pass by without engaging with them,  

142
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:37,120
and try to answer the questions at hand, letting 
all other sensations pass you by. Eventually,  

143
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:42,160
you will feel the idea of missing 
out disappear into the background.

144
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:46,320
4. Fight Your Fear 

145
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:52,920
According to Buddha “The whole secret 
of existence is to have no fear.”

146
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:59,040
We often know fear to be an emotion that paralyzes 
and stops us from doing the things we want.  

147
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:07,360
The fear in FOMO, however, works in the opposite 
way: it is a fear that forces us to do things we  

148
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:13,960
do not necessarily want to do, or makes us feel 
miserable when we don’t do those things. With  

149
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:20,800
FOMO, you start doubting your decision not to buy 
that thing, your decision to stay home and rest,  

150
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:26,000
your decision to focus on something 
important rather than temporary.

151
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:30,160
It is important to note that 
fearlessness, or bravery,  

152
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:36,960
does not mean not feeling any fear. Quite the 
reverse! It’s about being able to confront and  

153
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:44,960
overcome that fear. The first thing to do is 
analyze your fear. What sort of fear is it?

154
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:49,040
Useful fear is the fear that 
alerts you to actual danger:  

155
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:55,000
think of being high up in an unsafe building, 
or coming across a stranger in an alleyway.

156
00:15:55,000 --> 00:16:00,160
Useless fear is the fear that you feel 
when you rationally know you’re safe:  

157
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:05,280
when you’re on top of the eiffel tower, 
for example, the height poses no threat.  

158
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:11,320
The Fear Of Missing Out usually falls into 
this second category: there are usually no  

159
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:19,640
negative consequences to missing out, except for 
the feeling of fear itself. It’s a vicious circle.

160
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:26,000
According to Buddha, a lot of human suffering 
- including fear - stems from attachment. We  

161
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:33,760
are so attached to certain things - belongings, an 
image, a certain situation, a job - that losing it  

162
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:42,280
causes unimaginable suffering. FOMO works in the 
same way: we miss out on - or ‘lose’ - something  

163
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:48,440
that we feel is or could be incredibly 
important. Something we are attached to.

164
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:54,200
Mindfulness will help you let go of such 
an attachment and introduce something else:  

165
00:16:54,200 --> 00:17:01,280
acceptance. The Tibetan Buddhist monks destroy 
their sand mandala after finishing it because  

166
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:07,000
they are never attached. They appreciated 
it for what it was in the moment and know  

167
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:13,000
when to move on. If you truly think about that 
concert or that vacation you’re missing out on,  

168
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:18,320
you will see that it has no real impact 
on your life, or that your attachment to  

169
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:26,240
it has no rational explanation. You, too, can 
move on from missing out with no harm done.

170
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:31,880
In order to deal with that fear of missing 
out, you have to get close to it. Confront  

171
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:37,240
the moments that draw out this fear. Is it 
when you are not invited? When you have to  

172
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:41,480
cancel something? When all your friends 
post about an event that you haven’t been  

173
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:48,840
able to go to? Or when strangers do so? What, 
exactly, are you scared of? What’s the worst  

174
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:53,080
that could result from you having missed 
out on this thing? And how could you deal  

175
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:59,120
with that? What could you do in the future 
to make yourself feel more included again?  

176
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:05,240
Asking yourself these questions in a calm and 
safe environment takes away the power useless  

177
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:11,760
fear of missing out can have over you, since it 
allows you to let your rationality take over.  

178
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:18,440
By continuing to train your thoughts with your 
fear in mind specifically, you will feel it fade.

179
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:25,280
5. Find Your Joy
In our final quote for this video,  

180
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:34,800
Buddha says “Happiness will never come to those 
who fail to appreciate what they already have.”

181
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:41,640
Instead of learning to ‘live with’ missing 
out, you will find it can actually bring joy.  

182
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:48,880
There are two ways to practice the Joy Of Missing 
Out. Firstly, by recognizing the joy in mundane,  

183
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:56,200
daily activities. Secondly, by feeling joy for 
others without thinking about yourself at all.

184
00:18:56,200 --> 00:19:03,560
Let’s focus on finding joy for yourself first. 
Imagine someone who never misses out. Would  

185
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:09,160
they have the happiest, best life ever? Or 
would they be burnt out, overstimulated,  

186
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:14,440
and stressed? When you, for example, go 
to that concert despite needing rest,  

187
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:20,880
or go on that vacation despite being behind on 
work, you will not be able to fully enjoy it.  

188
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:26,600
You will be in two places at once: your body 
in the location you’ve dragged it to, but your  

189
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:34,240
mind with your worries and your shortcomings. 
Missing out, it seems, is absolutely necessary  

190
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:42,040
for living a healthy life. So missing out is 
necessary. But how could it ever bring joy?

191
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:48,200
Well, think back to the monks making sand 
mandalas. Doing so grants them peace,  

192
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:54,960
purpose, and time to think and be mindful. They 
do not fret about what else they could be doing,  

193
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:59,640
because they make sure to get the most 
out of making the mandala. In other words:  

194
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,920
they focus completely and solely on the activity  

195
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:09,920
at hand and learn to appreciate it for 
what it is. They practice mindfulness.

196
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:15,880
So the key to learning how to do this is by 
practicing mindfulness yourself. When you stay  

197
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:22,760
home to rest, revel in it; think of how you can 
maximize this rest and enjoy it the most. When  

198
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:28,880
you stay home to catch up on work or school, try 
to focus on the relief and satisfaction that being  

199
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:34,960
caught up will grant you. When washing the dishes, 
listen to music or appreciate the sounds and how  

200
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:40,760
it clears your mind. When you have to clean the 
house, use that time to listen to an audiobook  

201
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:48,000
or podcast and be grateful for how that can help 
you learn and grow. And always take a moment to be  

202
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:53,680
grateful for the moment you are in right now. It’s 
a small practice that only takes a few minutes  

203
00:20:53,680 --> 00:21:01,640
a day, but will lift your spirits immensely. In 
other words: take moments and do not define them  

204
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:11,200
by what you are not doing, but by what you are 
doing. Mindfulness maximizes joy in every moment.

205
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:17,520
Once you’ve mastered this, you will also learn 
how to embrace the next step: find joy for others  

206
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:24,240
without feeling bad for yourself. Think of the 
unconditional love and happiness a loving parent  

207
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:30,720
feels for their child. Whenever their child finds 
joy in something - a present, an ice-cream cone,  

208
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:36,560
a bouncy castle in the parking lot - their 
parent’s happy for them without any thought for  

209
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:43,640
themselves. Happiness exists in other situations, 
too: when your sibling wins a big prize,  

210
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:50,120
when your neighbor gets a new pet, when your 
friend gets their dream job. This is the biggest  

211
00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:56,320
problem with finding joy in the experiences 
of others: our own agony at not being able to  

212
00:21:56,320 --> 00:22:03,440
experience the same overshadows the situation. 
So how do we go from being a jealous friend to  

213
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:10,760
being a friend that loves unconditionally? 
The answer, once again, is mindfulness.

214
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:17,960
Whenever a friend has good news, try to truly be 
in the moment. Let your thoughts wander without  

215
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:24,760
intervening and pay especially close attention to 
those that are genuinely positive. Revel in those  

216
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:31,120
and let other thoughts wander by. When jealousy 
pops up, imagine their achievements as something  

217
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:37,160
completely separated from you; something out of 
your reach, not something you should have had,  

218
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:43,800
too. In the beginning, doing so might feel forced, 
but the more you force yourself to leave yourself  

219
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:50,440
out of an equation and truly think of someone 
else, the easier it is in the future. When you  

220
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:57,360
train finding joy in the moment, you will find 
joy for your friend’s experiences more easily;  

221
00:22:57,360 --> 00:23:04,840
and when you train being happy for your friends, 
you’ll be happy for yourself more often, too.

222
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:08,280
If you enjoyed this video, please make 
sure to check out our full philosophies  

223
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:12,840
for life playlist and for more videos to 
help you find success and happiness using  

224
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:26,160
beautiful philosophical wisdom, don’t forget 
to subscribe. Thanks so much for watching.