shower_mixdown ===

Speaker: [00:00:00] Hello everyone and welcome to the Mr Pick, me and the Man Hater Show. I am your host, Reagan, AKA, the man hater, even though I do not hate men.

Speaker 2: And I'm Jessica, a, k, a, Mr, Mr. Pick me. No wait. Is that my name? Yeah.

Speaker: Hey friends. Uh, if you've noticed a change in audio quality, it's because Jessica has shoved his face into his own camera and backed away from his.

Nobody

Speaker 3: likes it. I was, I'm way too hd with this new camera to do that. Like, what is that? Who is that elderly

ghost? That was, uh, that was an elderly pumpkin that just shoved his face

Speaker: to ter. Guys,

Speaker 3: you're gonna send me the edited version of this, and I'm just gonna put like a censored bar over. I painted my nails. I didn't even use this. I said, I didn't even know it was on me right now until I did this. I've had this, I think I've had this on the whole pre-show.

Speaker: JustCo is really individual prank. He has a very strange green finger with a. Red [00:01:00] nail. I'm guessing it's a witch finger. Is that what

Speaker 3: Yeah, I found it and I think my daughter loves it in here.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker 3: She's not supposed to come into my office. 'cause it's not like there's just stuff everywhere.

Speaker: Yeah. That's kinda the bigger scary part.

The finger's. All right. But the idea of a young child with all your equipment, that's frightening.

Speaker 3: Can you hire someone to like, make things look better than they are?

Speaker: Yes. Aor, professional organizer, you

Speaker 3: can. It's really, I need someone to do like the, 'cause I have wires. It's, it's a train wreck. Like it's, and if anything goes wrong, if something breaks and they'll be like, oh, we're unplug it for me, I'd be like, which one?

That's, I'm just gonna have to unplug the entire system or spend an hour untangling thing. 'cause I did not take into account mm-hmm. That, that is something I should have thought about as I was putting stuff together. Mm-hmm. I just kind of did, did my thing and hoped for the best, which is how I live life.

Speaker: What's new? You can probably take that finger off now.

Speaker 3: That's my microphone. [00:02:00] Hello? Hello everybody.

Speaker: That looks weird. Stop.

Speaker 3: Like a goin penis. Is that what it is? Ugh.

Speaker: I've never seen what I hope I never do

Speaker 3: this and no, also like God what? Poor little guy.

Speaker: Yeah, but what size is the goblin? That could be just about right.

Speaker 3: I mean, I guess so are goblins and I guess they're tiny,

Speaker: aren't they? Little things

Speaker 3: even for like, I don't know. I feel it's gotta be at least, at least twice that long for science. I don't know.

Speaker: Or a

Speaker 3: corkscrew, if it's smaller,

Speaker: you're not speaking to an expert. So,

Speaker 3: uh,

Speaker: anywho,

Speaker 3: if you've seen more penises than I have probably.

I say probably,

Speaker: I doubt it, but I don't know your life. You've been in a locker room. You, you probably have me there.

Speaker 3: I don't, [00:03:00] I don't think I've been in enough locker rooms to seem, I, I don't my gaze, I'm very tall. I've figured out, I've mastered the art of not observing below a certain level of what is happening in the gym.

In the, in the locker rooms.

Speaker: We're so off course, we're so off track.

Speaker 3: And the, it is, it is that, that, that is one thing I don't like about the gym and I try to avoid that as much as possible. 'cause I feel like it's got some guys, like, it's usually older gentlemen.

Speaker: Yes, I'm sure. And I feel like

Speaker 3: it's a game for them.

Like, it doesn't feel like nobody, like when you're, when I'm home alone drying myself off, I don't stand with like my leg up on, on a bench. And dry. Like, who does that? Like, it feel like, it's like they, it's like, it's like an exhibition.

Speaker: Try and stop me. I can do this here. And feel

Speaker 3: they're like, I'm old. Look at my balls.

Watch 'em swaying the wind. Do that. [00:04:00] Jealous. Jealous. You wish your balls hung the slow going on a foot.

Speaking of seeing someone's balls, this week's episode is about staying clean in the shower, but in a weird way. Theme song. You want bad advice,

Speaker 4: man? I'll give it out. Glad I got some good advice for, you know, you don't, I know you don't. I got some good. You don't,

you don't.

Speaker 3: That was a great setup. I think that works out well. Nicely.

Speaker: I feel like I need therapy after that conversation.

Speaker 3: I, I need therapy after it. I am in therapy, but I'm not gonna talk to my therapist about this.

Speaker: I need to talk about old men in the locker room.

Speaker 3: Can I, uh, tomorrow, because I go to therapy on Thursdays, I'm gonna show, I'm gonna walk in and be like, Hey, um, can we talk about old men penises [00:05:00] today?

Traumatize me. Do, can you, you let me know you have a husband, does he, when he dries himself, does he just like put his foot up on a bench and let it all air out?

Speaker: What do you think is the appropriate size of a goin penis? I'm not saying goblins are real because I'm not delusional.

Speaker 3: If they were real, what are they packing?

Is he, would he be packing more than this? Like, is he the Vienna

Speaker: sausage or a witch finger? You know, is he

Speaker 3: hanging low or is it like,

Speaker: like

Speaker 3: the old men?

Speaker: We dunno. Like the old men maybe.

Speaker 3: Maybe they have nothing. Maybe they just have balls. Nothing else.

Speaker: Sick.

Speaker 3: Who? How do goblins reproduce? Don't call me sick.

Like as if you're a goblin expert. You don't even know how big their penises were. I

Speaker: don't want 'em to just have balls. Awful. Well, I comfortable sight.

Speaker 3: I don't know enough about nature to know the different ways that fertilization occurs.

Speaker: These are made up creatures. Chaco. I need to be clear

Speaker 3: so I could be [00:06:00] right.

I could be right then, is what you're saying. What are you talking about? Nature. Maybe boy goblins are the ones that are receive the sperm. Who knows? I don't know how that works. How do they define it? Because like seahorses babies,

Speaker: I knew you were gonna bring up seahorses, have old babies.

Speaker 3: I feel real stupid right now.

But not knowing any of these answers, I've had 43 years to look up these answers. I,

Speaker: I think more so it's an issue of you talking about imaginary creatures versus Yeah. Like your knowledge. But what if

Speaker 3: goblins are like seahorses

Speaker: where they carry the babies?

Speaker 3: Can you prove it otherwise?

Speaker: Well, they're not real, so.

No,

Speaker 3: exactly. Exactly.

Speaker: Oh, if that's the bar we're going by,

Speaker 3: we're in trouble. So I'm perusing the Innerwebs Uhhuh and I see this article and it's called, this Husband Hates When his Wife Takes a Shower Without Him, and the Internet's weirded out.

Speaker: I hate it.

Speaker 3: Title only. What do you think? What are your thoughts?

I

Speaker: just told you I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate the idea. Yeah. Of like, I don't even know. [00:07:00] Where this came from. I, I, I kind of feel like a goblin in a, in a culture of humans when I'm hearing about the straight, the straight ways that go on the culture of straights, because I just can't imagine a world in which your partner is mad at you for not letting them shower with you every single time.

I

Speaker 3: made a video that I got yelled at for

Speaker: what's new.

Speaker 3: I didn't take it down though 'cause I stand by it and it was about, I don't, because enough people agree anyways, it's not that controversial, but I, it was me. I'm against. Showering together. I don't see any, I bet you would be any benefits to it. Like I, I mean, I guess there's, I could see the benefits to it right there.

There's that, well, I guess from a, I don't see any benefits to it from like, but from a practical standpoint, like, unless you're, like, if you're doing it as like a thing, like, as like, ooh, you wanna take a shower together, right. That's, that's something separate I'm talking about. But even then, it just feels like it's too, like there's, you have no, no [00:08:00] control.

You know what, in this situation, you know,

Speaker: I, I'm on the same page. I don't get it either because I'm like, I'm in the shower to clean because somebody's cold, somebody's down the cold, someone's cold.

Speaker 3: And I mean, I guess maybe if you had a double shower,

Speaker: oh, if you had a double shower, maybe. But like, I don't know.

I feel like you lose all purpose of the shower.

Speaker 3: It's not a shower anymore. That's my time. I think I'm being greedy in this sense. I'm like, no, I just wanna, like, I don't, it just doesn't make any sense to me. Like, and there's even, even for. Sexual reasons. I, it just feels like there's better ways to achieve the same outcome

Speaker: goal I will.

'cause I wanna wash my hair. Mm-hmm. Like, that's a whole situation. I don't wanna get a soap in anybody's eyes. Mm-hmm. Well, there's only one person

Speaker 3: or other things, or other

Speaker: things that made it sound the kind of group in

Speaker 3: the shower. Right.

Speaker: On anybody. I want

Speaker 3: 25 people in a shower.

Speaker: I, I don't, I've never really gotten it.

I feel [00:09:00] like I, I'm too focused on the logistics of it. Like the logistics of a shower, get it, and it's like, what if it's,

Speaker 3: it's

Speaker: slippery. It's slippery.

Speaker 3: I feel like then you gotta take a shower after the shower.

Speaker: If you have a bad partner, you're not probably getting equal shower and or water time. Like, you're probably not getting as clean as them.

No. As I said, as, I

Speaker 3: don't think you're showering to clean if you're together, but some people do. Some people. Swear by it. And that was what the, that was what the people were yelling at me for in the comments. They were like, you don't just 'cause you don't do it. Don't judge me. I was like, I'm not judging you.

I'm saying I personally don't judge me. You're judging me. You're judging me. I feel like it's reverse judgment here. For me, Cher, I was vulnerable. I was quite embarrassed about that. I was like, am I weird? Because I framed the video as like, is this weird? Is it that I think, I don't think this is good, that I don't like this.

Speaker: Sometimes we go so far in the direction of being supportive that we get a little kooky crazy. 'cause it's like you are allowed to have [00:10:00] a differing opinion. Mm-hmm. If they feel some kind of way because you have a different opinion. That doesn't mean you're judging them, you're just saying my personal preference is different.

Mm-hmm. That doesn't mean you're saying something mean. Like, I feel like we get a little far sometimes where it's like, yeah. It's the same thing as like, um, when people will do like a recipe and then someone's like, well, I'm allergic to chicken then don't make my chicken pot pie.

Speaker 3: Yeah.

Speaker: Uh, I'm allergic to chicken and gluten and carrots and, uh, peas.

So

Speaker 3: it's weird. It's weird that you clicked on the video called the chicken, gluten carrot pea pie recipe. Stew recipe.

Speaker: Exactly. It's like, that's okay. It's not for you. And that's all right.

Speaker 3: Do you have anything you could replace the beans with? You mean for my bean recipe? Any, it's, no, I that, that's a spot on thing because people get, they just find some reason to be like, yeah, I wasn't talking about you Then [00:11:00] it's not for you.

I think, I think the thing I said, uh, 'cause in the video I'm, I'm gonna have to find this now and we'll have to post it because maybe, maybe I did sound like an asshole. We're gonna play the video and you like, when you're editing this, you're gonna be like, wow. Fuck Jessica.

Speaker: You said if you like to shower with other people, you're an idiot.

Speaker 3: I think it was like they were shaving each other or something too. Like she, he was like helping and I was like, I just feel like I don't have the expertise for that.

Speaker: I, that's a different thing. That might be a different, that might be a, a personal thing. It de it definitely

Speaker 3: wasn't like a kink thing though.

It was like, I wanna be clear. 'cause we've made that mistake before.

Speaker: I know I got cue of king shaming that cowboy.

Speaker 3: Yeah. I feel like the two of us, like are so milk toast when it comes to certain things that we were like the even, and we try not, I think we're very aware of the world.

Speaker 4: We're just boring.

Speaker 3: We're just not, we're just boring.

Speaker: I know. We very much are on the same page.

Speaker 3: So we [00:12:00] would like to apologize to our listeners who are less, who are more adventurous.

Speaker: Well, we're neuros spicy.

Speaker 3: We, I I per that word is, is not something we should use. Why have you heard about this? 'cause um, there, there was a whole ordeal on threads where, uh, the term spicy in general when referring to people, um, was often used to dehumanize and kind of other people of color.

And so there was a whole issue with, yeah, really it was a big thing. So some people st a lot of people still use it. It's, it's a very common thing I choose to avoid using it because I, I heard people saying. That they found it offensive and mm-hmm. I'm like, all right, then I'm gonna stop using it. 'cause I don't need to use that word.

It's not like, it's like I can't live my life without using it. So, so I, I don't want you to get in trouble Every once in a while will say something and people will be like, you motherfuckers know you. Evil shithead have the audacity to not know everything about every word in the world.

Speaker: Uh, well, apparently I'm just a loud bitch that takes up [00:13:00] your airtime.

So do we wanna,

Speaker 3: do we wanna talk about that? I need everyone to know something actually, before we even mention what was said. 'cause I'm sure you have the screenshots still. Um, I hope people know, like the, I wouldn't have a podcast if it was like, we wouldn't have, there would be no podcast of with my face on it, if not for Reagan.

The only reason I do have a podcast where you get to hear the two of us talk every week is because Reagan is willing to, to edit. What we do on here. If it was just me, you'd just be stuck with the little two, three minute bits every on, on TikTok. The only reason this podcast exists is because Reagan wanted to do like, she was like, yeah, I'll edit it.

That'll be great. 'cause I was, we talked about it originally and I was like, I don't, I just can't, I can't, like the reason my old podcast kind of fell apart eventually was like, I can't do it. I can't edit a whole podcast every week. There's no, and, and Reagan was like, no, no, I got it. And I was like, well, [00:14:00] what?

We could hire somebody. And she's like, no, no, no. I insist on doing it. The, the pre Patreon, those about this. Anyways, so the only reason this show exists is Reagan. I need that to be clear. And yet some of you are not nice in the, and like I know, and it's the, the people aren't nice on the internet.

Speaker: What?

Shocking. It's, I'm telling you. So anyone who doesn't know, there is like a significant section of Checo fans who like to bully me. I dunno.

Speaker 3: Yeah. Its really not. Okay.

Speaker: Uh, okay. Here, let's, let's, let's do some of the classics. Okay. This was brought to my, my attention when we were camping, and I found it. I found this podcast by another podcast I listened to.

I wish I could continue to listen. The female host is so unbelievably loud and interrupts [00:15:00] incessantly. It is beyond annoying. I love checo, but FI just cannot with this woman's voice.

Speaker 3: I mean it is accurate, but still,

Speaker: I mean, first of all, you just had a mic that was not the best mic, so my mic would be sometimes louder.

I'll give you that. Mm-hmm. I'll give you that. That's fair. And I do yell sometimes. Um, we cut

Speaker 3: and we cut each other off. I think equal. I think there is no possible world where it's like overwhelmingly one way or the other.

Speaker: No. In

Speaker 3: this, I apologize for cutting you off more, but there's a lot of those. Yeah, there's a fair amount of those where every once in a while, like there, there have been been some where I'm like, I'll see it.

And I'm like, I'm just not gonna tell Reagan about this.

Speaker: It's Che's amazing. I love Jessica. He's the best thing ever. Who is this winch? This demon,

Speaker 3: I want you to know that. I don't appreciate that comment. You know what I mean? Like, it's not, it's like, [00:16:00] hey, imagine, uh, like Reagan's become basically my best friend, right?

So, uh, and so like, what? Imagine your own best friend. Would you be like, if someone came up to you and was like, Christina, I absolutely love hanging out with you, but fuck her. Can you fucking leave your best friend in the world behind? I'd love hanging, I would love to spend more time with you. But like, you know, that person that you care about and that you like, share a, a real, a bond with, and that you like spend time with.

And as, as a good friend. Yeah. Fuck them.

Speaker: What a drag. All right. Get her outta here.

Speaker 3: Yeah. Like, do you, would you take kindly? Would you be like, well, I guess she is kind of a, you know, I didn't wanna say it. She bugs me too. She, she, but I'm afraid of her. I'm afraid that if I cut it off, like that's not how this works.

That's not how any of this works. Oh yeah. Stop being mean. If you hate us, if you hate Reagan, you hate me. I'm putting it on record. I think I'm taking [00:17:00] offense to it.

Speaker: Well, I feel like if we weren't so similar mm-hmm. I would've less of a problem with it. Right. You know? 'cause sometimes you have two hosts are really, really different.

Yeah.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: But I feel like you and I do the same shit all the time.

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. Anyhow, so if you hate Reagan,

Speaker: sorry,

Speaker 3: I don't know what the te I'm sorry. I'm sorry for her being a woman. I'm sorry For me not having another male, male podcast. We thought maybe the internet was ready for a, a podcast with a lesbian, but

Speaker: Oh God,

Speaker 3: no.

The only one. Cisgender straight men. That's the only,

Speaker: they just want just go, just go. Talking to himself,

Speaker 3: to me, just talking in a mirror the entire time. I started making long form on YouTube and fi and that whole group of people was like,

Speaker: finally, God, you got rid of the witch. The witch. My finger.

Speaker 3: Oh my God.

No, it's an or penis or troll. [00:18:00] Penis. Right? It's

Speaker: goblin

Speaker 3: goblin penis. That what you said that was what? Which fantastical penis was this?

Speaker: I never want to hear that phrase again. It's half

Speaker 3: elf, orc penis.

Speaker: No. Well,

Speaker 3: um, no, no,

Speaker: no.

Speaker 3: So we have a show today.

Speaker: Yeah. Let's get back to the weird, the weird shower guy.

Speaker 3: Okay, so let's play, let's play this little video here.

Speaker: So this is the video that inspired the article.

Speaker 4: My husband historically hates when I take a shower without it and see if comes in.

Speaker 3: Is this, uh, recording, um, waiting for me to show up?

Speaker: So I don't know if you can tell by the sound of it, this might be a good one for YouTube. Mm-hmm. But she talks about how he historically doesn't like not getting an invite. She turns on the [00:19:00] shower and approximately 22 seconds later, her husband arrives looking like a captain on a, a boat like arms wide.

His back slowly strolling in like,

Speaker 3: well, well, well,

Speaker: you thought you could be,

Speaker 3: you, you could have a little private time by your onesie. Not my. Boat. Is this a unhinged bayou captain? He is a bayou captain. Apparently, God knows, my accents are never constant, so it might, he might be French soon, who knows? Um, probably who, who heard water running and he reminded him of the sea.

Say, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's framed in her video as like this playful little cute thing. Yes. Was like, watch this. Can you believe it? Like this is, this is normal. Right? All you women are going through the same thing, right? Where you don't even get to shower by yourself.

Speaker: The caption is, I'm a [00:20:00] mind reader featuring the bathroom that will be renovated in 10 years with the way this economy is going. I, I feel like for once, the economy is not my biggest fear in this video.

Speaker 3: Right. Someone said the, the, the top comment is, uh, some of us love our husbands. Yeah. And some of us wanna clean our bodies without company.

Speaker: It's just the idea that it was like. A starter's pistol for him that like the sound of the shower.

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. Oh, it's time for my little treat.

Speaker: Ew, ew. Like that to me is the part that's really disturbing. It's like

Speaker 4: mm-hmm.

Speaker: The idea that like, oh, she's naked. Oh, I, I need to get out. Like, she, she couldn't have privacy.

Like it's not allowed. It's, but why, I guess why is that cute to her?

Speaker 3: It means she's never, I guess in their marriage has never showered alone.

Speaker: Ooh, that's, that's me time. Yeah. I mean, it's, that's me time.

Speaker 3: I mean it correct us if we're wrong. Internet. If you think that we are the weird ones for thinking that a person, regardless of gender [00:21:00] should be allowed to have it.

Like even if this was flipped, it would still be weird. There's different, uh, systemic reasons why this is even weirder with the, uh, the, the husband doing it. Um, but like, no matter what, it would be weird if you're like, I get in the shower and she, and she's like, what are you doing? I dunno why she's talking like that.

Speaker 2: That is not what your wife sounds

Speaker 3: husband. What are you doing there, husband? You know, you don't shower without me.

Speaker: This is our time.

Speaker 3: The sea. The sea. When the sea calls, our buddies must be washed together.

Speaker: Washed.

Speaker 3: Uh,

Speaker: I feel bad for this guy who thinks these shower is the sea. Like,

Speaker 3: sorry, it's my brain. He's like landlocked.

You mentioned he looked like a sea captain or something like that. And my, and my, that's all it is. It's all of a sudden my sm started being like, woo. That's all it is. Now we're talking about the pirate. We are talking about that an old pirate. [00:22:00] And if you are only listening to this, I want you to keep the visual.

I want you to imagine a, like a, an old, a pirate with like a hat on and a peg leg walking in, saying, what be you doing in that shower without me? How dare you? Yeah. Would mean you, you expect me to polish my. P leg by my one Z. Where is this another accent going.

Speaker: Okay, hold on. We went from, I was like a captain.

Now we have a pirate. Then he was like, just like a bayou from the bayou, and then he was English and then he was Irish. Maybe I've,

Speaker 3: I've done more than one. Sorry. Quick tangent. I've done more than one DD campaign where I built into the character that their accent keeps changing.

Speaker: You'd have to

Speaker 3: because?

Because of this exact reason, because I've never [00:23:00] been able to do a consistent accent for more, it's not even like for more than one session. I'm talking about for within minutes as proven by this. It just turns something else.

Speaker: I also have questions about. How onesie is in your vocabulary because you've used it it several times to mean like alone you onesie.

Yeah.

Speaker 3: So that's buy me onesie. You never heard a pirate say that? Do you not know any pirates? You don't know any old British pirates.

Speaker: I think onesie like a baby onesie. So it's Oh yeah. I

Speaker 3: mean that's where to think they got that from

Speaker: pirates. You're so dumb. None of this makes any sense. Including the shower thing.

Speaker 3: All right, so I I, I, it feels controlling to me. I think if we're gonna get back on track,

Speaker: the thing is there was some, 'cause I have seen this video, I was disturbed by it.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: There have been some. Psychologists that have weighed in on it, and I think [00:24:00] some abuse experts as well. Mm-hmm. And they do talk about the fact that this can be a control tactic.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Having a situation in, I, I'm not saying this is, I'm not saying this specific case is it doesn't be.

Speaker 4: Yeah.

Speaker: But just, I don't remember, A couple episodes ago you talked about the fact that, oh, it was with the, um, the teacher whose husband couldn't pack the sandwich or pack the lunch.

Speaker 4: Oh, right. Mm-hmm.

Speaker: This idea of it feels like something else. It is representative of a bigger issue. Mm-hmm. And I think in this case, it's representative of an, of a control issue in which sometimes like. Abusive people or controlling people will not allow the person that they're harming to have alone time. Mm-hmm. To have space.

Mm-hmm. And so they constantly insert themselves and like, you're, you're being aside from just the, the refusal to allow you space to yourself. You also have the idea of you're naked. Mm-hmm. They're like, you can't be naked without them. They're mm-hmm. They're constantly [00:25:00] staring at you. Your body almost feels as if it's not your own.

If it only can be viewed with two people present. Right. Like it's yours and his,

Speaker 3: I think that's such an important point right there. But your body not feeling like your own too. 'cause like that, that really is above and beyond. Like, and this is not, some people love showering together. I get it. We're we're talking about you.

We might be the weirdest that's, that's not what we're talking about. But just if you literally never have access to your own naked body, you know what I mean? Like, and I don't mean that in a sexual, but just in general, like private time alone too. Shave your, shave yourself to, to groom yourself, to clean yourself, to wash yourself without another pair of eyes on you.

That's gotta have a psychological effect at some point. That really is going, regardless of the intent, regardless of what you feel like it's gonna do. I feel like it's gonna have some far reaching implications into your relationship.

Speaker: I also just. I think it prioritizes him so much, [00:26:00] or whoevers doing it right.

I'm sure any jander, any gender out there could take control of the shower.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: But this idea that it, it's so much about him. Like it's about what he wants. Like he almost looks, I mean, we talked about it, he looks like the angry, the seat captain that's like, oh, I see you stutter the show without me.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Did you think you'd get away with it? But that's the vibe. Like, he looks like, well,

Speaker 3: well, well,

Speaker: I mean, that's what he looks like. Mm-hmm. He looks almost like judgemental, like mm-hmm. What are you doing? Mm. Yeah. And so it, it's like it's under his control. He's in charge and it's his way. Mm-hmm. And it doesn't leave any space for her to like.

Maybe if not wanted, shower with them. Like there could have been some circumstance where she didn't wanna shower with him. Something could have happened. There could have been an embarrassing, something like she needed to wash her whatever, wash herself for some reason. But he comes in immediately judgmental.

Mm-hmm. As if she's done something wrong. And I think that's where it's weird. It's like right, it's not wrong for her [00:27:00] to wanna take a shower without him and like mm-hmm. Even the way he looks at the camera, it doesn't look set up. It looks like he was surprised to see himself being filmed. Mm-hmm. And then relieved like, oh, it's a skit.

Whew.

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. Oh God. She doesn't actually want to control, she wasn't actually gonna stop, not give me access to her body at all times. It had to be, Ooh. It was just, just a silly little goof.

Speaker: It was just a funny thing. Getting in the shower with her, I would assume is for some type of. Pleasurable experience for himself.

Mm-hmm. I would think mm-hmm. Just this idea of like, there's not a moment she gets that's not sexualized either. Mm-hmm. There's not a moment. She, like cleaning herself, should not immediately be sexualized. There should be moments she has with her body that are seen and not that she has to perform. Right.

Because she, that's a performative thing. Then the second he gets absolutely gets in there, she's performing for him and so mm-hmm. Even the way she carries herself, like she's has to be on mm-hmm. In some way. Mm-hmm. And that is, that's a lot to do to another person, to not give them the solace of just existing in their own body [00:28:00] without having to perform, I guess.

Speaker 3: No, absolutely. And, and I think it's, it's similar to. Once again, none of these things I think individually are, are always toxic, right? This could be, they might have, they might theoretically have the healthiest relationship of the world, right? This is, and this, the whole discussions are, these are, uh, sys, is it, is it a running theme?

Is it something that that bleeds out into other areas in a relationship? And it's like when, uh, you, you, the, the joke about, oh, I can't bend over in my house without being grabbed, you know, like you, you've seen video. Have you ever seen videos like that where people are like, well, watch this. If I bend over, I'm gonna get, you know, my ass smacked, or I'm gonna get grabbed.

Like the ability where you have to feel like scared in your own house, right? Uh, over that. And then for that to just be the way it is. Right, because it, it might be, well, it, it could start off as like, this cute little thing was like, oh, we are flirting with each other. But then when the person, if they say, Hey, that makes me uncomfortable, or even if they just start showing that it makes 'em uncomfortable mm-hmm.

But then it [00:29:00] continues, right? It shows that they're not even paying attention to what is happening or how it's affecting the person, et cetera. And once again, how that leads into other aspects of theirs that could be far more dangerous, far more toxic. Um, because it, it's rarely just the one thing. It's rarely just that one simple little thing.

Speaker: And again, like this idea that he heard the shower running mm-hmm. And came, came running.

Speaker 2: Right. Ah,

Speaker: that is a little bit frightening to me. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's one thing if like after you took the shower

Speaker 4: mm-hmm.

Speaker: He was like, oh, you showered without me. Mm-hmm. That would still be weird to me.

Yeah. But it's the idea that like, he immediately was like, oh, this is happening without me and inserted himself and needed to check it out. I don't know, stop it or get in there.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Knowing that she had clearly started without him. So like that, that is her saying, I'm doing this now, like I'm turning on the shower and it's, and probably I'm getting in.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: He didn't take that as, [00:30:00] okay, she doesn't want me in there. He took that as well. She's not doing that without me.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: And that's different. And that's a problem to me, that seems like a little weird, a little controlling.

Speaker 3: It's almost like also like, oh, well you didn't ask my permission to take a shower.

You know what I mean? Because like, what are you, what are you doing? Yeah. We didn't discuss this before. As if that's something, as if like your, your personal upkeep of your own body, your cleanliness, you know, being able to clean your body is something that you need permission. To do, which is which? That, and it's, that's the extra level to this that is so absurd.

Like she, if she ever felt like I, you know, and we've all after a workout at the gym, or even, it doesn't have to be some egregious thing, you just feel dirty. You just don't feel like you wanna be around another person. Sometimes you don't feel and just it for any reason. You don't wanna have another person near you sexually Right.

In that moment. And yet doesn't sound like that. She gets that. Any, any, there's no choice in the matter for her to, to get time away from that. Right. It's weird. If she [00:31:00] were to do that,

Speaker: I would be covering myself in peanut butter and jelly and weird and moss, just so that when you get in the shower, like weird stuff's coming off you just, so he's like, oh my gosh.

Like, ugh. What I, what do you have on you? Like, I don't know, maybe I need alone time. Maybe you should be in the shower with me. 'cause Lord only knows what's coming off of me.

Speaker 3: Uh, I remember actually, I sent I a video. Of someone. And this is, I guess, content warning. This is, I, this is a video referencing kind of a sexual trauma in a relationship.

Um, but somebody specifically talked about how she started trying to make herself ugly to, to avoid like being like basically assaulted in her, in her marriage. And she was like, she would purposely not sha she would purposely started gaining weight. She would not groom herself. She would not like, she would, she would like not wash herself.

Yeah. And she was trying to do anything possible to make herself less appealing, quote unquote, as if it was her own fault. And, [00:32:00] and that was the, she talked about this. I don't want to, now I'm gonna try to search for the video. And, and it was a long time ago, I remember saying this, but it was her talking about how the, uh, it, it was completely her blaming herself, uh, for, and so she's like, okay, well I need to do all these other things because it's not his fault.

It's my fault. I must be too appealing. I must be. Leading 'em on, I must be X, Y, and Z. And obviously that's the extreme level of this, but that's, that's that, that's why it's important to talk about because it never starts off at that level or hope. I mean, it often doesn't start off at that level. It starts off little things and it's slowly as your independence and autonomy is stripped away from all facets of your life, then it gets to the point where you don't even have yourself anymore.

Right? You were just, and you were just there to be, uh, a, a tool for the man to, to get pleasure, a tool for the, your partner to, to, uh, to use and not as an actual partner in that [00:33:00] relationship,

Speaker: even if you don't take blame for it necessarily. It's the idea of nothing I say. Matters. None of my objections matter.

My feelings don't matter. My desires don't matter. Mm-hmm. And so I need to make it about him not wanting me, because me not wanting him doesn't factor into the equation, which is mm-hmm. Horrifying. Mm-hmm. Like if, if you desire for your partner, whether or not you desire them or want them mm-hmm. In that moment makes no difference.

That's really scary. And there's a ton of cases of women doing that.

Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: There's, there's a lot of victims that will end up doing things like that, um mm-hmm. Trying to stop these bad things from happening. Um, and I, I think it's just recognizing the smaller scale issues, because they can be a symptom of something way bigger.

Mm-hmm. It could just be the guy likes to shower with her. It could be that he likes to control her. Mm-hmm. Like, these are things we need to think about. And, and why the, why your [00:34:00] partner is doing it, I think. Right. Being clear about why that's happening, but I definitely, I did not like the face he made when he found that she was showering without him.

Mm-hmm. That felt very, how dare you? If it wasn't something weird, he, the shower would've just happened without him, and then he would've said something. But the fact that he interjected

Speaker 3: or some of the comments, although it seems cute, I think he should give you space unless you personally invite him on specific and special occasions.

You deserve peace and privacy. Absolutely. Right. And that's, that's, you should, it should not just be, unless you once again have given explicit permission to for it, then, then it should be something you should assume. Um, and even if you have given it in the past, as we know with consent, past consent does not always continue to mean forever consent.

That's right. Right. That's, that's one of the key components of it. Um, someone said, can you block a husband? Uh, you don't have to invite him into your time.

Speaker: Uh, the creator. Somebody was like, door's open, everyone's [00:35:00] invited. Hopefully he respects when it's closed. And then she says, exactly, door was open because I was consenting.

Oh, I don't know about mm-hmm. That, that seems, unless that was explicitly discussed between them. Yeah. And again, he's not coming in there and saying, can I join? Right. He's coming in there pissed.

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. Like, what, what are doing

Speaker: in here?

Speaker 3: Yeah. What? You took my candy? Like it like it's, but that's, that's the weird, it was like, wait, wait, wait.

That's mine. What are you, why are you taking this from me? And that's how it'll, and of course, and if it did turn into something more serious, that's how it would be. And that's, I think sometimes the filming

Speaker 4: Yeah.

Speaker 3: Occurs as a way for them to be like, see, this is silly. Right. This is, yeah, definitely. This is definitely as a protection, like, oh, look it, you're being on, you're on camera.

Don't, yeah. Be an asshole.

Speaker: Well, I mean, she, she definitely thinks it's cute. You can tell.

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Ew. She says I'm the red flag. If anything, that's not a good sign. [00:36:00]

Speaker 3: No, that's, that's always the, uh,

Speaker: like, you know what? That makes me think that he's made her feel like she's the red flag.

Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. You're the one doing this.

Come on. You know how you are.

Speaker: Like, she lists out all these great things he does. I'm the red flag, if anything. Mm-hmm. It's like mm-hmm. Ooh. Because I've been in that position before where I think it's me. Mm-hmm. Like I dated some terrible guys.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Um, that would, I would be like, oh, but, you know, because it's easy.

I'm bipolar. So that, I mean, that's like a slam dunk for, uh, controlling, manipulative assholes. Uhhuh, like, but you're mentally ill, so. Mm-hmm. Um, I'm saying that in a joking way. I'm, but I'm just saying like, it really is, if they have that, they're pretty, they're, they have a solid well to, to pull from.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: But. That was what I always felt. And then it would be like these guys who I realized didn't have much going for them. Mm-hmm. And I had a lot going for me, but they made me feel like that I was hard to deal with, so that I didn't even consider whether or not mm-hmm. They were hard to deal with [00:37:00] or whether or not they were bringing anything positive because what I was, I was just in my head like, oh, but they put up with what I do.

Mm-hmm. They're saints essentially.

Speaker 3: It is. I, I do think it's probably. Uh, per capita, much higher in like neurodivergent communities of people that, that you, you pull in some really toxic partners because of the fact that they, they can, it's like a shark under the water. They can smell Yes. That self-deprecate.

I've definitely dated people before in the past that were, and, and this is even non dating, I've had friendships also that, that were extremely toxic and one-sided that I completely put up with. And it's actually happened to me more as a, as a man. I think it's probably in this way regard to, um, in friendships than in, in romantic relationships.

Um, where it would just be, uh, something where I'm like, well, I mean, they have to put up with a, I am late all the time. I do forget stuff all the time. I do. Oh yeah. I am, I'm real. I'm a real shitty friend and they're still showing up. Uh, so [00:38:00] that, that means I should put up with the fact that they're doing X, Y, and z.

I'm not gonna be too specific without putting people on blast. But, um, that, you know, I think that that toxicity of people that're like, oh, sweet, this is somebody that is not gonna blame me for being horrible to them. And if anything's gonna blame themself and then take on, um, the burden of, of that and just let them continue to be in this repeating relationship.

Speaker: Well, and I think too, like anybody who is not neurotypical mm-hmm. Uh, particularly if they have anxious behaviors or any type of thing that, that makes their perception of themselves off, like mm-hmm. When you're bipolar, for example, if you're manic or depressed, your perception goes in some way. Mm-hmm.

Like if you're depressed. You see things more negatively. If you're manic, then you'll see things in that heightened state. So you rely on other people to mm-hmm. Give you feedback to make sure you're seeing things clearly. And just like an anxious person knows, okay, maybe I'm not seeing things completely, clearly.

So I [00:39:00] think those type of abuse people really like that because you already have somebody who not only questions the way that they're perceiving things, but relies on other people to help them see things more clearly. To know if their perspective is correct. And so I think that is a prime target for them, because then they can easily get in there and gaslight and make question yourself and be like, no, you, you're right.

That is, everybody does hate you. Mm-hmm. Like when you went to that party and you feel like everybody was being weird towards you, and you were being weird. You were being weird. Mm-hmm. You were really embarrassing. Like they're, they're very good at. But I'm still here

Speaker 3: though. I stuck around.

Speaker: Yeah. Even though

Speaker 3: you were that terrible person.

Look at it. I'm still, and you, and then you internalize that and you're like, well, if I don't have, if I, if they don't, if I'm, you know, if I get rid of this friendship, then I'll have nobody, 'cause everyone hates me.

Speaker: That's right. That's, see, uh, I think that's a good flag for everyone. Please pay attention to your friendships.

We really do look at relationships a lot, but there are so many toxic friendships out there mm-hmm. That are [00:40:00] unhealthy that we should be paying attention to, because the same dynamics can happen just minus like the sexual relationship element.

Speaker 3: There's a so many layers and nuance to, to that discussion that could, that could be a whole episode in the future.

Um, but like when, when there's guys that complain about the friend zone, uh, for, for that reason, they think it's, it's this, that, what we're talking about right here, but it's. Literally just a friendship. It's because, because it's, it's just their, well, they're not, their idea of the toxicity is, well, but she won't sleep with me.

Speaker: Because what they see from women that's valuable is sex. They don't enjoy friendship with them,

Speaker 3: even though it's literally the exact same relationship they might have with a buddy,

Speaker 5: a

Speaker: hundred of

Speaker 3: a, with a guy. Uh, and they'll be like, well, yeah, but I don't expect that. And they'll even say the quiet part out loud, but I wouldn't want to have sex with him.

Speaker: Right,

Speaker 5: right. And they

Speaker 3: would may, they may not use those words, but that's the implication there. Yeah. Um, with it. But like, and so they'll, they'll, they'll [00:41:00] go into this whole thing about, well, yeah, I would pick her up when she needed a ride. Go out to dinner. I was like, yeah, I've done that. I was like, do you do that also for your guy friends?

Speaker: Well, yeah.

Speaker 3: Well, yeah. She's, I don't wanna

Speaker: sleep with them.

Speaker 3: Yeah. She, she put me in the friends. That's a whole, like I said, that's a whole d episode. It's

Speaker: like you being, she's your friend.

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: And that's a problem. Mm-hmm. That's the thing is it's like you're, you're in the friend zone, as in she is your friend.

Mm-hmm. And if that pisses you off, then you don't want to be her friend. Mm-hmm. Then that means you're only interest in her is a relationship and that means you're not her friend and that is something she should know. That's the thing.

Speaker 3: They use examples though of very, because, because yeah. There are there women that will take advantage of a guy that they could tell was into them and Sure.

Use them for things. I'm sure. Yeah. There's people that exist out there. I'm not, that's, and I think people like, they'll, people get mad at me and be like, well, what about this instance I was with somebody and she X, Y, and z. I was like, yeah, that sucks. She was, she specifically, specifically yeah.

Speaker: Was an asshole.

Speaker 3: Like, that was really fucked up what she did to you. Right. What [00:42:00] That doesn't mean that that is the, the, the norm or the what is happening. What, what most of the guys were, we always see complaining about it. Are complaining about is that. Someone thought they were actually your friend.

Speaker: I hate the term, the friend zone at all.

I think it's completely an imaginary thing that men mm-hmm. Uh, have made up to avoid rejection.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: But if we look at it as women wanting to just be friends, let's say that. Mm-hmm. When people give those examples, most of the time they're talking about like being manipulated.

Speaker 3: Right, right.

Speaker: That's not being a friend,

Speaker 3: that's not, that's not a friendship.

And that's, that's exactly the point. It's like, it's, it's, yeah. Not, that's not what we're talking about either. Right.

Speaker: No, that's weaponizing attraction.

Speaker 3: The other side of it is, though, also you can always leave, right. With friendship, specifically, like aside, I mean, we talked about situations a second ago where there are toxic friends, like non abusive friends, talk friends, non abusive friends, but like, there're like, if you're aware, if you get in a situation where you're like, man.

She is taking advantage of me. Like, this person is manipulating me and I don't [00:43:00] want to be their friend. I just want something and I'm not getting it. Then fucking stop doing it. Like it's, it's, it's not that hard. Like, I've never ever been in a situation and it, maybe it's 'cause I'm autistic and I just don't, uh, the social norm.

It's like the, the, uh, what, what am I looking for? The, the norms of certain things don't go over my head sometimes, right. But I'm like, if there's never been a situation where I'm like, oh, well I don't wanna be your friend, so I'm just gonna continue pretending to be your friend for, for a long, the only people I pursue friendships with are people that I wanna be friends with.

Speaker: I mean, at the end of the day, they stick around because they think somewhere in their brain that there's a chance. Mm-hmm. That she'll be at a low point. She'll have a breakup. Yeah. She'll be sad. She'll finally see how great I am. They still think they have a chance. They would not stick around if they didn't think it was possible.

Mm-hmm. I have never met a guy who does that, who doesn't think it's still somewhere on the table mm-hmm. That the stars could align in some perfect situation. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3: And they

Speaker: could get her.

Speaker 3: It's kinda like the, [00:44:00] uh, it, it reminds me of our conversation last week about older guys thinking that if they had a free pass that they could get the, uh, it's that that maybe mu saved.

What saved me is my lack of self-confidence.

Speaker: Yeah. I'm with you on that.

Speaker 3: Low self-esteem is apparently a game changer for

Speaker: you. Will not be in the friend zone. No. Because you will not think it exists.

Speaker 3: No.

Speaker: Uh, I had, I've said this I think a couple times I had a guy friend. Mm-hmm. That literally four years. Was my quote unquote friend, but I just didn't understand.

Mm-hmm. He was trying to get with me the, I mean, years and years and years. Mm-hmm. Was trying to get with me. And then finally he tried, I think I've said this before, basically he was in a relationship with a girl who was not interested in things for her own personal reason. And he was like, you know, it would be good though.

Like, what if, what if like, [00:45:00] I hooked up with one of my friends instead, while he was in a relationship, I go, well, that would be cheating.

Speaker 5: Mm-hmm. That,

Speaker: that's because that's how my brain is. I go, oh, you're, you're talking about cheating? 'cause that's not cool. He's like, no, no, no, I just wouldn't because then the, the pressure wouldn't be on her.

And so then, you know, she could be okay. But then, you know, I could, with one of my, like, do I have a friend? This is when I was still identifying as straight by the way. Mm-hmm. And you know, he's looking at me like some friends don't do. I know.

Speaker 3: Huh?

Speaker: No,

Speaker 3: I mean, like, just, just I'm not, I'm not saying, would you,

Speaker: is

Speaker 3: this, would you, like, would that be

Speaker: he leans in.

Do you wanna,

Speaker 3: is this, is this, are you, are

Speaker: we making out right now?

Speaker 3: Is this happening? He's like, I, I didn't, I mean, are you implying, and he's like, trying to put it like you were saying it, so you, are you, are you saying that you want

Speaker: slow down? Are you saying you wanna sleep with me? Slow down. I, I don't,

Speaker 3: I don't think, I mean, if you, if you wanna try, if it's your idea,

Speaker: which it is.

I mean, in that same, that same day, he told me how [00:46:00] hard it is for men because false accusations, and I was like, oh, I don't think we're friends anymore.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Uh, but it was like that I, that whole time, like reflecting back, there were so many times he tried to push the boundary of our friendship where it was never, like, I really liked this guy as a friend.

Mm-hmm. Like, I thought he was hilarious. I just wasn't attracted to him well.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm. A

Speaker: plot twist, but. I, to be fair, I, I have been attracted to men in my day, but just not all the way. Mm-hmm. Just at a certain point I'm not. Um, but I was not attracted to him at all. Never had any interest. Was very clear with him repeatedly, but yeah, he kept, he kept it going for years and years and like never gave up on Yeah.

That being the goal, I mean, this, I, I, I don't know, four or five years maybe. Mm-hmm. Like, it was, it was a long time. It was, it was. It was a

Speaker 3: long time. It was. He was like, eventually

Speaker: he, he got zero

Speaker 3: out of it I saw in a movie once. Yeah. That where this [00:47:00] worked. I, I think, okay. I think this is gonna go, oh, she's a lesbian now.

Okay. Huh. It's still, I still think maybe she's just trying things out.

Speaker: Uh, have you seen chasing Amy because she gets with the guy?

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Thanks a lot. Kevin Smith from Lesbians Everywhere. Have you seen, do you know that movie? I do

Speaker 3: wonder. Yeah. I do wonder how much that particular movie, I haven't thought about that movie in a long time, but I'm like, how many men like, thought that that was gonna be how their friendship with a lesbian woman turned out.

Speaker: Uh, just for the listeners, if you haven't seen Chasing Amy, it's a Kevin Smith film. Uh, Ben Affleck is the Star, and I don't know the, the lead actress's name. Sorry, but sorry, I sorry. I'm sorry about that. I hate this movie though, so it makes sense. Um, basically she's a lesbian, she's an out lesbian, and they have this friendship and like [00:48:00] he's attracted to her.

But like, I don't, I don't remember Joey. Lauren

Speaker 2: Adams.

Speaker: Oh, thank you. Yeah. I don't think he's being too aggressive with her. I, but like. It's clear he's interested in, she's not, but they, but they are friends. And then out of nowhere they start hooking up. Mm-hmm. And it's like, oh, she's not a lesbian. And then he's like, oh, I turned her.

Like, you can tell he gets off on the idea. Mm-hmm. And then it ends up like, no, she's been with many men. She'd been with Ben in the past. She had a history of it. Um, it's, it's so weird. The whole thing is almost like, well, nobody's, she's not really gay, but like all of these men who, you know, like, I don't, I knew it.

I, those people, like I

Speaker 3: fucking knew it.

Speaker: And like, a lot, like if you look at like Kevin Smith's humor and who his demographic is, that's a scary group just by age. Like, you know, it was younger guys, a lot of single guys. I would say at the time that the film, the movie was made. Mm-hmm. It was like Jane, silent Bob kind of

Speaker 3: right

Speaker: time.

Uh,

Speaker 3: now I [00:49:00] haven't seen that movie since it came out. And I was like, I saw that it was in 1997, so I'm positive that there was probably some really problematic shit in it. Like even aside from the pla you, you're like, I don't remember if he was, if it was bad, he probably, it was probably bad. It's probably a movie that, no, it was definitely

Speaker: bad.

I just don't dunno how weird, but just the idea to teach young men who are watching, 'cause that's who his demographic was mm-hmm. Was young men. Mm-hmm. Like, hey, she may say she's a lesbian. Mm-hmm. But down the road she absolutely will sleep with you and wanna be with you, but then you'll mess it up by trying to have a threesome with your best guy friend who is actually secretly gay.

Speaker 3: Right.

Speaker: That's the, that's, she

Speaker 3: just has to fall in love with who you are on the inside. Yeah. And nothing else matters. 'cause everyone deep down is straight. Right. That's, that's the key. She's just trying it out for college.

Speaker: Just like, it's a horrible thing to teach young men. Yeah. That, that's an option.

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3: Like,

Speaker: it

Speaker 3: feels, it feels like such a nineties

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker 3: Lesson to teach. Like that was not controversial at all

Speaker: at [00:50:00] time. Everyone's like, oh yeah. You know how that happens. If anything,

Speaker 3: it was like, this is such a progressive movie.

Speaker: Yeah. It was like, you know what? Good for her for finally seeing the light.

Speaker 3: Yeah. But she did, she, you had a lesbian in your movie, so that makes this a very progressive movie.

Speaker: I, yeah, they would probably have seen it at the time as like A-A-L-G-B-T-Q. Yeah. I movie like a gay, a queer film.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: I disagree. Yeah. I think it's a straight man making, uh, what he thinks is queer film.

It's

Speaker 3: a straight man fantasy about, uh, yeah.

Speaker: I certainly hope Kevin Smith has reflected on that film some, but I mean, I, to this day, I've still, I've, I've had not in the reason thank God years mm-hmm. But I still, even when I was out, would have guys do shit like that. And you're like, I have everything that says no.

Like every stop sign, every stop sign is up. And still you're like, but you're saying there's a chance.

Speaker 3: Uh, even like, it's, it's wild that [00:51:00] you're like married with child, right? It's not like it's the, the even, the even and not that it was ever okay, but like, it's not even the chasing Amy fantasy. Right. It's beyond that.

Like it's, you're, even if you were a straight woman in a marriage,

Speaker: like who do you want?

Speaker 3: They, what are you trying to, do you think that it's easier to get a lesbian to leave her marriage than it would be to get a, uh, a straight woman to leave her marriage? Well, oh no. That's what it is. They, a straight woman in a marriage is the property of the man who's who, who is, whose property in a lesbian marriage, whose property is who, and what do you do with all the sandwiches, right?

Speaker: Yeah. It's weird. It's very weird. But again, like this is going to this weird idea of like property mm-hmm. And like how you view women. Mm-hmm. Like if you view women as assets to you. Mm-hmm. So something you can own and you want access to, like, this husband wants access, like, I'm sorry, he wants access to her.

Mm-hmm. [00:52:00] That's clear. You know, whether or not it's nefarious or not, maybe. Mm-hmm. You know, maybe it's not. But in general, this idea of like, well, I should have access to you in the shower every time.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: The fact that you started the shower, it was, it was so freakish to him. Like, right. If I, if I started the shower, my wife came and was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 3: What the fuck are you doing?

Speaker: Whatcha doing? I'd be like. Get outta here.

Speaker 3: Yeah. And she's dressed like a pirate.

Speaker: Yeah. Also, it looks like they have a tub shower, which back to my first point, I don't think that's the best shared shower experience either.

Speaker 3: No, no. I don't get it. We talked about that right at the very beginning before we even watched the video about how someone's gonna be cold.

Speaker 4: Yes. Always. Someone's getting clean.

Speaker 3: You're not saving any water. If anything, you're gonna have to shower a second time just to make up for the, the not getting clean the first time.

Speaker: But like, I, if I'm showering, it's because I am there to get clean. Right. And like I said, I, I have like my, I have thick hair, I gotta wash.

Like I got a, I got a full process [00:53:00] of things I like to do. Mm-hmm. I can't do all that with another person trading in and out. Now it's like a sports thing now it's like a relay race. Like, I don't wanna do that. I just wanna get in, get out and do, like, that's what I want.

Speaker 3: Unless like their entire job is to just, you just close your eyes like a car wash and just put your arms up.

And just let, and they bathe you.

Speaker: I'm sorry. I don't find that appealing. Would you feel find it appealing to be bathed? No. I,

Speaker 3: I would not like that. I mean,

Speaker: I would not either.

Speaker 3: I would try it once.

Speaker: Your poor wife's so short.

Speaker 3: I know. No, it would be, it would be. She would reach up to, I would, uh, shoulder down would get clean.

I would've a, I would've to wash my own hair, um, for that.

Speaker: Oh God. I, I don't, I'm glad we have each other because I also don't understand it. I don't understand it as a concept. I don't understand it in practice. I certainly wouldn't feel like, I don't, I don't wanna think about looking cute in the shower.

Speaker 3: I just, I feel like everyone, I feel like it's a, that's a, that's a newlywed thing where everyone's like, let's [00:54:00] try this out.

Let's do, or like a new couple kind of thing where like

Speaker: kicking it. I there. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not, like I said, there are

Speaker 3: moments. Moments. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. There you can have, you can, you can spice things up a little bit. I love what my idea of spicing up up the marriage is a shower together. I know

Speaker: the vanilla.

So vanilla. Let's,

Speaker 3: let's do this crazy thing. I

Speaker: know. I saw it on the internet webs, so.

Speaker 3: Yeah.

Speaker: Uh, I, yeah. That's my, like, I, I think it has its place for sure, but we're talking about all the time.

Speaker 3: Yeah. Every single,

Speaker: or most times.

Speaker 3: Yeah.

Speaker: When you home. Yeah.

Speaker 3: I'd, I think it would be, I would have to only shower when your spouse left for any reason.

Oh, you're doing a, you're going to the, the post office.

Speaker: Quick, quick, quick, quick. Taking a shower. Oh, oh, man. Again, I also, I, I don't wanna be, I'm not anti, I, I not try, I'm not anti-men, but like, also like, I feel like men like really [00:55:00] do get like grime off themselves too. Like depending on, well, especially their skills.

I have

Speaker 3: a whole, I mean, I have like a nine part series now about how men aren't washing their ass or cleaning their That's what I'm saying.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 3: Especially when you take that into factor, and I'm saying if you're dressed like a pirate, I'm, if I had to guess,

Speaker: you're crusty. You're,

Speaker 3: you're, we might have a little butt crest going on there.

You, you're a

Speaker: scurvy.

Speaker 3: Yeah. You might have some scurvy, uh, that you need to, you need to take care of, uh, you know, you need to eat some more citrus and. Shower on your own. But you're right though that when you take into consideration the, the, the fact that there is what can only be described as an epidemic of dirty asses, uh,

Speaker: from men, NBO and like, and Yeah.

Just, just not washing their hair. I've seen Yeah. I've seen, so I, I am merely a, a, a voyeur, you know what I mean? Oh, that's, I think that's a bad word. I'm not doing that. That's

Speaker 3: a bad word.

Speaker: I mean, Reagan

Speaker 3: just [00:56:00] let us in on one of her own kinks that apparently No.

Speaker: Stop it. But like, I, I am for looking out from the outside, like I'm just seeing tiktoks of what's going on Right.

In the, on the straight side of things. Mm-hmm. And there seems, to your point, I mean, it's a lot of your videos, if we're being honest mm-hmm. Of men not like cleaning the, like, I wouldn't wanna be in the shower with a man ever, but like, if they were not like, oh God, like what if you caught.

Speaker 3: A dirty

Speaker: area.

Speaker 3: Yeah. And you're gonna, you're almost certainly gonna, like, that's a, yeah.

Speaker: Something hits the bottom of the tub. You can't even look.

Speaker 3: Oh God. Oh God. It's that much too. It might be, I don't know.

Speaker: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I've seen too many videos now. I thought it was a joke. It's not a joke.

Speaker 3: It's not.

It's, there's too, there's, it's too widespread in common sections of videos for it to be like a, 'cause I, I didn't wanna believe it at [00:57:00] first. My very first foray into that was, was as, I was like, this is so funny. This is real. It's not

Speaker: funny. Jessica, I'm still reeling from you telling me They all like wipe standing up.

Speaker 3: Not all, not all men, but

Speaker: like, not, yeah. Some, some are

Speaker 3: just standing straight up.

Speaker: Some people that touching their butt is gay. Like if they're wiping and I'm like. I can't, I don't. Mm-hmm. It's just, there's a lot going on. I think there should be times for everyone, everyone is, any gender can be dirty. Any, any, any gender cannot take care of themselves in some way.

Mm-hmm. All I'm simply saying is your videos scare me. And also I think it should be allowed for privacy. Like, you should be able to have privacy in the shower. You should be able to be, uh, basically naked without mm-hmm. Being viewed or judged or sexualized. Mm-hmm. Everybody needs time to just exist.

Speaker 3: And if you all think we are boring old people, I'm happy that Reagan and I were both able to find partners that are just as vanilla as the two.[00:58:00]

Speaker: Or at least like, don't force preferences we don't like.

Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker: Like, uh, I, again, I think it's a fun thing. This is all a fun, every time

Speaker 3: we have like the weirdest,

Speaker: they're just like chains and whips in my back background,

Speaker 3: I knew that's what that was.

Speaker: There's things called sex swings. I still don't know what that means.

I'm scared of everything. Don't even,

Speaker 3: how, yeah. I'm afraid to Google it.

Speaker: Don't Google it. Jennifer. Jennifer Lawrence like,

Speaker 4: uh,

Speaker: walked, I think it was, she like, walked into Woody Harrelson's and he had like,

Speaker 4: mm-hmm. It

Speaker: was not a sex wing. It was some, it was like just a ham, my girl, something. I don't know. And she's like, is that a sex wing?

And that was like, what the hell is that?

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: I'm scared. How

Speaker 3: does that even function? Is it just we, it just a break. It's like a, a silly little. You wanna

Speaker: swing in it? Go for swings. And don't, don't tell us in the comments. Don't, I don't wanna know. You don't have

Speaker 3: to. I'm gonna Google it. Later.

Speaker: Not right now.

Speaker 3: No. I don't. [00:59:00] Please, I don't wanna share my knowledge learning of that particular thing with you. That's a private moment that I need by myself

Speaker: and, and we, we appreciate all preferences. Mm-hmm. And we're down for it. Again, it's just the refusal to let someone do things by themselves, if any.

Speaker 3: Yeah. If anything, I Kudos to all of you that are not us.

I see people doing stuff and I'm like, man, I am lucky I found someone that will put up with all my little idiosyncrasies and like my like weird need to be clean, um, at all times. Like that is, I guess that's not a weird thing, but it's like obsessively, um, that, uh, you know, because I, I see, I, because of what I've randomly fallen into, like all the relationship content I have to deal with online.

I'm like, I, that is a young person's game.

Speaker: I, I will tell you every day I'd love my wife more. Yeah. Every single day. Every minute of every day. Mm-hmm. Especially when I see what's going on. Mm-hmm. Like what, what's expected, [01:00:00] what other people are into, what other people are doing. Oh, yeah. I, I love my wife and I love to be married.

Speaker 3: I think that's a good show for today, Reagan, where can people find us?

Speaker: You can find us on our Patreon, which we have a show before the show or little pre-show. Make sure to check that out.

Speaker 3: Which we got like 50 new free members this week. I don't know where you all came from. Where'd you come from? Welcome.

We don't have any free content on there. That's it. We have a whole extra show every week that we put on for our paid members. But we're you're, thank you. They're, those are the voyeurs, right? They're seeing something's going on, but they don't know. They, they the free members, not our paid. Our paid members are welcome invitees.

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker 3: Your members, the free members are just seeing, I go, I'm seeing something happening in there. It,

Speaker: except the window's closed, so they're just like, I know something's going on in here. Yeah, I can see.

Speaker 3: I can hear something.

Speaker: Something fun's going on

Speaker 3: and it's fun.

Speaker: It's fun. It's great. It's unhinged. It's, that's the [01:01:00] best word to describe it.

You can also find us on our Instagram page, our. We don't have, we don't have a TikTok, our personal tiktoks.

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: And YouTube. And on YouTube for the video. YouTube, of course, if you wanna watch the show. And then we always appreciate a good review. Please don't hate on me stop. Stop being mean to

Speaker 3: Reagan.

Speaker: But we love a good review.

Speaker 3: I was about to joke be mean to me this time. I don't want that either.

Speaker: I don't mean neither of us can handle it. Neither of

Speaker 3: us be mean. Stop being mean. Why are you listening this far into the show Just to be mean.

Speaker: Oh, anyways, friends, that'll do it for this week and we will see you next week.

Speaker 3: Bye. Love you.