Audioboom

Transcript for Squirrel Squabble

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RED SQUIRREL: Gotta get those nuts. Gotta get those nuts.

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A squirrel's gotta get those nuts. Especially a Red Squirrel

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like me. We need all the nuts we can get.

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Ah! There's a nice acorn. That'll make a fine addition to

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my collection.

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Now, if only I could remember where I buried my stash.

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Oh, great. Here comes Grey Squirrel, just what I need.

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GREY SQUIRREL: All right, Red. Out looking for nuts, are we?

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RED SQUIRREL: Hi, Grey. I suppose you're gonna claim that

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acorn is yours?

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GREY SQUIRREL: I did see it first, didn't I?

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RED SQUIRREL: I don't know. Did you?

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GREY SQUIRREL: Yeah, I reckon I did.

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RED SQUIRREL: Could you not just find your own nuts for once? You

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already stole my whole stash.

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GREY SQUIRREL: No, I didn't. You just forgot why you stashed your

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stash again.

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RED SQUIRREL: How dare you? We Red squirrels may have a habit

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of forgetting where we hide things, but that's not what

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happened this time.

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GREY SQUIRREL: I bet it is.

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RED SQUIRREL: No, it isn't.

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GREY SQUIRREL: All right then, if you can remember where your

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stash is, show me.

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RANGER RAE: I can't, because you'd only steal it if I show

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you where it is.

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GREY SQUIRREL: But you said I already stole it.

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RED SQUIRREL: Yeah, it's... Leave my nuts alone.

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GREY SQUIRREL: Enough of this. Just give me that nut and this

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will all be over.

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RED SQUIRREL: It's mine

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GREY SQUIRREL: We'll see about that Red.

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RED SQUIRREL: That's it. I'm calling for help.

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GREY SQUIRREL: Oh yeah? And who you gonna call?

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RED SQUIRREL: You'll see. Awoooo!

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SINGERS: Across the many majestic wild spaces of the

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United Kingdom, from woods, wetlands, to mountain and heath,

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whenever help is needed, one ranger and her animal friends

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always answer the call.

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It's Ranger Rae and the Wildlifers.

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RANGER RAE: I can talk to animals. It's a ranger's dream.

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SINGERS: It's Ranger Ray and the Wildlifers.

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RANGER RAE: Say hello to my animal team.

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SINGERS: With Deer and Fox and Wildcat, Mole and Dragonfly and

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Beaver and Bat.

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Sound the alarm and we'll come running to you.

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DEER: With our animal powers, we'll know what to do.

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SINGERS: It's Ranger Ray and the Wildlifers.

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RED SQUIRREL: Ranger Ray and the Wildlifers will know what to do.

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We'll have to try not to argue until they get here, which might

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be a while.

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GREY SQUIRREL: I'm much better at not arguing than you are.

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RED SQUIRREL: No, you're not. I am the master of not arguing.

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RANGER RAE: Did someone call for Ranger Rae?

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I'm here with Beaver and Fox.

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ROXY: And Roxy. To save the day.

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RANGER RAE: So, what's the problem, squirrels?

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RED SQUIRREL: Grey Squirrel stole my stash of nuts and now

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they're trying to steal this acorn I found too.

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GREY SQUIRREL: I didn't steal your stash and that's my acorn

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because I saw it first.

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ROXY: Oh, Red squirrels and Grey squirrels really don't get

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along, do they, Fox?

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FOX: Pardon, Roxy. Sorry, I'm a bit distracted. Isn't this place

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beautiful?

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RANGER RAE: It sure is. Tollymore Forest Park is one of

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Northern Ireland's biggest parks, and definitely one of its

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most beautiful. They say it was the inspiration for Narnia.

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BEAVER: What's Narnia?

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ROXY: It's a magical land some children found in the back of a

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wardrobe.

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FOX: The back of a wardrobe? That doesn't sound very magical

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to me.

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BEAVER: This forest is nice, but let me tell you all the ways a

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Beaver's touch could improve things. You see, whenever

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beavers are reintroduced, ecological improvements follow.

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Now, see, I'd fell this tree here, this tree here, oh, and

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that one there. That would create a nice water feature.

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RED SQUIRREL: Hey, Tollymore Forest Park doesn't need any

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improving.

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GREY SQUIRREL: That's right, it's perfect and beautiful as it

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is.

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RANGER RAE: Sounds to me like you both just agreed on

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something. So there's some hope yet.

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RED SQUIRREL: You know what, Grey? Maybe she's right.

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GREY SQUIRREL: No, she isn't.

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RED SQUIRREL: Alright, fine.

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RANGER RAE: So what's this about a stash of nuts, Fred?

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GREY SQUIRREL: Grey Squirrel stole my stash.

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I did not.

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RED SQUIRREL: And now they're trying to steal my acorn.

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RANGER RAE: Okay, that last one might be true, but I didn't

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steal the stash, honest. How could I steal it if I don't even

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know where it is?

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FOX: Why don't we just check the stash and see what's there?

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RED SQUIRREL: Well, I... I guess we could do that. It's just,

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well, I sort of, maybe...

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GREY SQUIRREL: Red's forgotten where they stashed their stash,

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as usual.

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RED SQUIRREL: Red squirrels forgetting where they stashed

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stuff is a harmful myth.

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GREY SQUIRREL: So where is it then?

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Well, in this particular case, the harmful myth is true.

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Anyway, it's a positive thing that we forget where we stash

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our nuts. It's good for nature, helps spread the seeds around,

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which helps forest regeneration.

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BEAVER: Ranger Rae, I have an idea.

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RANGER RAE: Let's hear it, Beaver.

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BEAVER: What these squirrels could really use is a pond. So I

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say we gnaw down this tree here, and this one here, creating a

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water blockage, or dam, if you will, which will attract all

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sorts of wildlife, like frogs and dragonflies...

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FOX: Pardon my interruption, but what has this got to do with Red

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and Grey squirrels arguing?

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BEAVER: Oh, right. I forgot what problem we were trying to solve.

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FOX: What if I used my super Fox tracking skills to find this

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stash of nuts? Would that help?

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RED SQUIRREL: Yes, I suppose it would.

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GREY SQUIRREL: I'll do anything to clear my name.

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RANGER RAE: Very good, Fox. Lead the way.

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How's the tracking going, Fox?

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DEER: It's going okay. This way! I think if we just... No, wait!

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That way! Ha, yeah, now we're back on track. I'm sniffing for

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Red Squirrel scent, rather than the nuts, seeing as we're not

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even sure if the nuts are there. This way!

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ROXY: Ranger Rae, how come Red squirrels and Grey squirrels

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don't get along?

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GREY SQUIRREL: Because Red Squirrels are silly.

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RED SQUIRREL: We are not silly, you're silly.

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GREY SQUIRREL: No, I'm not.

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RED SQUIRREL: Yes, you are. You're the silliest billy in the

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whole forest.

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GREY SQUIRREL: Well, you're the silliest billy in the whole

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universe.

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RANGER RAE: Calm down, everybody. The history of Red

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squirrels and Grey squirrels is a long and difficult one. Roxy,

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did you bring along your banjo?

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ROXY: I did.

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RANGER RAE: How about some storytime music?

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ROXY: Sure thing.

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RANGER RAE: Once upon a time, Red squirrels were found all

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over the UK.

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GREY SQUIRREL: We call it the before-time.

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RANGER RAE: Red squirrels are native to the UK and have been

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here for over 10,000 years. So they evolved to thrive in the

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habitat of the UK's forests.

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BEAVER: Speaking of thriving, wouldn't this forest look

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amazing with a new Beaver-designed waterfall?

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ALL: Not now, Beaver!

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RANGER RAE: But in the 19th century, the Grey Squirrel

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arrived here from America.

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GREY SQUIRREL: Yo.

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RANGER RAE: Grey squirrels are bigger and stronger squirrels,

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and they soon dominated the habitats of the Red squirrels.

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RED SQUIRREL: Some would call this bullying.

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GREY SQUIRREL: Nonsense. It's survival of the fittest.

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RANGER RAE: And so the Red squirrels were pushed out. Their

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numbers dwindled, and they weren't helped by the fact that

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the Grey squirrels carried the squirrelpox virus.

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GREY SQUIRREL: Oh, not this again. It's just the sniffles.

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RED SQUIRREL: Not for us, it's not.

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RANGER RAE: This virus doesn't really affect the Grey Squirrel,

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but it can be lethal to the Red.

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GREY SQUIRREL: It's not like we do it on purpose.

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RED SQUIRREL: I bet you do.

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GREY SQUIRREL: Alright, someone better hold me back because I'm

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going to let Red have it.

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RED + GREY SQUIRREL: Come here, you!

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PINE MARTEN: Oi oi oi oi. What's all this shouting? We'll have no

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trouble here.

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ROXY: Look, look, look! It's a Pine Marten!

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FOX: Martin who?

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BEAVER: A pine what?

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ROXY: This is so exciting. I've never seen one up close before.

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PINE MARTEN: Well, yes, yes, yes. We Pine Martens are

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notoriously difficult to spot.

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BEAVER: You look like a cross between a squirrel and a weasel.

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PINE MARTEN: Ah, but we are neither squirrel nor weasel. We

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are the mighty Pine Marten, and we've been native to the UK for

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as long as the Red Squirrel.

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BEAVER: So how come I've never seen you before?

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PINE MARTEN: Could I have some banjo music, please?

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ROXY: Sure thing.

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PINE MARTEN: Once upon a time, thousands of years ago, the Pine

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Marten was one of the most common predators in the UK. We

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were everywhere, even if people didn't spot us all that often.

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But then, humans did as humans often do, and hunted us until

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all our number sank so low, we became but a whisper. Do you

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remember the Pine Marten? They'd say. Whatever happened to them?

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FOX: I'll have to hold my paws up and admit, we foxes did hunt

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our fair share of pine martens.

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PINE MARTEN: But you were one of our natural predators, just like

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we were one of the Red Squirrel's natural predators.

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That's nature in action.

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GREY SQUIRREL: See? Survival of the fittest.

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FOX: Silence!

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I believe we're getting closer to the stash. This way, into the

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older part of the forest.

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ROXY: Is it true there are lots more pine martens about now?

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PINE MARTEN: Yes, pine martens are making a real comeback. And

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that's not all. We've been tasked with ending the rivalry

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between Red squirrels and Grey squirrels.

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GREY SQUIRREL: What rubbish.

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BEAVER: How are you going to do that? By building a beautiful

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water feature in the forest?

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PINE MARTEN: Of course not. It turns out that our long history

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together means the Red squirrels are quite good at dodging pine

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marten attacks, but the Grey squirrels, not so much.

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GREY SQUIRREL: That's because we never got to practice.

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PINE MARTEN: Precisely. So when Pine Martens are introduced to a

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habitat, Grey squirrels are much easier to hunt because they

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don't have as much practice at hiding from us.

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ROXY: So if you reintroduce Pine Martens into a forest, it helps

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even out the numbers of Grey squirrels?

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PINE MARTEN: Now you're getting it. But it can't all be left to

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the Pine Martins. It takes a combination of efforts, like

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monitoring squirrel populations, habitat restoration...

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FOX: Silence!

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The stash should be...

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Right here.

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RED SQUIRREL: Yes.

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I do sort of maybe recognise this place.

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GREY SQUIRREL: You've no idea have you.

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RED SQUIRREL: Yes I do! It was right here! Or maybe right over

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there.

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ROXY: Ranger Rae, what was that?

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RANGER RAE: I'm not sure, Roxy, but I've heard it a few times

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now.

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FOX: I know what it is. We're hearing the Wood Wide Web in

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action. Of course, the Wood Wide Web.

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ROXY: Don't you mean the World Wide Web?

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RANGER RAE: Nope. It turns out nature beat us to inventing the

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internet by about 500 million years.

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ROXY: But how?

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FOX: Lots of trees and plants in a forest are connected by

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underground networks of roots. And fungus.

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ROXY: So you're saying that all these old trees are connected to

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each other?

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FOX: Yeah, the Wood Wide Web even means trees can send

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warning signs to each other if they're under attack by insects.

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ROXY: Are they communicating now?

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FOX: They're probably putting a warning out because they heard

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there's a Beaver in the area.

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BEAVER: Who, me?

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Don't worry trees, I won't be gnawing through any of you. This

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place looks fine as it is. No water features necessary.

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RANGER RAE: Some of the forests in the UK are so old that trees

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have had thousands of years to form these underground

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connections. The oldest tree in the UK is about 3,000 years old.

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ROXY: 3,000?

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RANGER RAE: Yep, the Fortingale Yew Tree in Scotland.

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ROXY: Amazing!

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GREY SQUIRREL: It really puts things into perspective, doesn't

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it?

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RED SQUIRREL: What's that, Grey?

00:11:29,683 → 00:11:32,808

GREY SQUIRREL: Oh, you know, all these trees living alongside

00:11:32,839 → 00:11:36,236

each other peacefully for thousands of years. Forging

00:11:36,256 → 00:11:39,641

connections in order to keep each other safe. You don't see

00:11:39,660 → 00:11:42,461

them fighting over acorns. It really makes you think.

00:11:42,863 → 00:11:43,625

RED SQUIRREL: I guess it does.

00:11:44,281 → 00:11:47,125

RANGER RAE: You know what, Red? You have the acorn.

00:11:47,586 → 00:11:48,649

RED SQUIRREL: What? Really?

00:11:49,109 → 00:11:51,109

RANGER RAE: Yeah, I can always find another one.

00:11:51,391 → 00:11:55,336

RED SQUIRREL: Wow, thanks, Gray. To be honest, I don't think I'm

00:11:55,367 → 00:11:59,180

going to find that stash anyway. I've no idea where I left it.

00:11:59,617 → 00:12:00,320

GREY SQUIRREL: I know.

00:12:00,945 → 00:12:03,074

RED SQUIRREL: Typical Red Squirrel, eh?

00:12:03,074 → 00:12:05,508

RANGER RAE: That's very big of both of you, Red and Grey.

00:12:05,796 → 00:12:07,538

ROXY: Yeah, you should be very proud.

00:12:08,339 → 00:12:10,841

GREY SQUIRREL: We've done enough arguing, haven't we? Nobody

00:12:10,923 → 00:12:14,048

wants to hear more of that. Anyway, Pine Marten will be here

00:12:14,049 → 00:12:15,009

to keep us in check.

00:12:15,305 → 00:12:15,923

PINE MARTEN: Right, I will.

00:12:16,524 → 00:12:18,266

RANGER RAE: It sounds like the trees agree too.

00:12:18,688 → 00:12:22,852

FOX: So, in the end. I was trying to track something that

00:12:23,071 → 00:12:26,977

wasn't even there. What a waste of my talents.

00:12:27,337 → 00:12:29,477

BEAVER: And I didn't even get to build a water feature.

00:12:30,055 → 00:12:33,399

FOX: At least we solved Red and Grey's argument. That's nothing

00:12:33,400 → 00:12:34,430

to be sniffed at.

00:12:35,152 → 00:12:36,874

GREY SQUIRREL: Neither was Red's stash.

00:12:39,097 → 00:12:41,480

RANGER RAE: Sometimes the best way to learn about these things

00:12:41,558 → 00:12:44,261

is to observe animals in their natural habitats.

00:12:47,722 → 00:12:50,949

ROXY: Or we could go and help an animal in its natural habitat.

00:12:51,409 → 00:12:52,472

Come on, Wildlifers!

00:12:53,050 → 00:12:55,753

RANGER RAE: Everybody ready? Wildlifers, away!

00:12:55,754 → 00:13:00,738

SINGERS: It's Ranger Rae and the Wildlifers!

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