Hi Cora.

Hi

Krista.

Thank you so much for coming back on.

I'm so excited.

Thanks for having me back.

I feel like it's such an honor to be

on more than once, so super excited.

I feel like we just had so much fun last

time we were just talking and it was like,

old friends hanging out and we read crazy

stories and just we wanna spill more tea.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm excited to spill with you

or hopefully hear more tea.

I feel like the stories we

covered were crazy last time.

Yes.

So can't wait.

Yeah.

well I'm so excited to have you back on.

I know I just said that, but I feel like

last time it just like flew so well.

and what's new for anyone

that I did not listen to?

Last episode When you came on, what's new?

Who are you?

Tell us about yourself.

Yeah, so a lot has changed

since I was last on.

I feel like I have a new name,

new life, which is crazy.

So I think last time we were together

I was still in the Bay Area, just

like kind of having my life implode.

my divorce was kind of just starting

and now I'm six months in it.

I'm living on my own for

the first time in my life.

I have two dogs and I think

we got connected on TikTok.

So I primarily post on TikTok, which

is maybe how my audience knows me.

And I first went viral there for a

wedding story time that maybe could

have been featured on this show.

and maybe it was an omen for the

marriage working out, but you

know, to give me a whole new.

Career and, a lot of great

relationships like with you, so, yeah.

yeah.

It's funny all the stories that get

sent to me and like, I always wanna do

like, follow up segments with people

too, to be like, I feel like yours.

What had to do more with

like, bridesmaids, right.

And like a friend fallout.

But like, a lot of times when I like

hear about these crazy, like in-law

stories that are sent to me, I'm

like, I wanna follow up with people

and be like, did the marriage work?

Sometimes they tell me like, oh, this is

my ex-husband story, or This is my ex we

never made it down the aisle or something.

' cause I'm like, some of these stories

are so insane where I'm like, how could

you put up with that for a marriage?

Knowing your in-laws hate you,

or a sister-in-law hates you?

that sounds like hell to me.

That sounds terrible.

Yeah.

And I mean, people are sneaky and I

feel like, yeah, you just never know.

And I feel like if people are

having those signs before they

even walk down the aisle, it's

only gonna progressively get worse.

So I agree.

I wanna hear the updates.

So anyone listening, give

us the updates your lives.

Yes.

I know I've had a couple like

brides come on and let me

like, ask them any questions.

They come on anonymously

and spill some stuff.

but it was funny, one time someone came

on and, she was like, yeah, things are,

better than like where they left off.

And then we like hung up where

we stopped recording and she was

honestly, like things are like

getting kind of worse again.

But like, I don't wanna say

anything yet because I'm not sure.

I'm like, oh my gosh.

what is going on?

Like there's just, I don't know, people

deal with a lot of stuff in relationships.

Is it crazy?

You never know what's going

on behind closed doors.

And I feel like I've been trying to

toe that fine line 'cause I've been

talking about my divorce publicly, but

I obviously haven't said the actual

reasons publicly because you know,

A, it's no one's business and I think

there's a fine line with creators, but

BI think it's like, I don't wanna make

anyone, I guess like second guess things

going on in their relationships because

you just never know what's happening.

And even like the little tidbits

I've shared, it is crazy.

Like the dms I'll get of like, oh

my gosh, I've been through that too.

Or I've experienced that scenario

and on paper they look so happy.

Or I'll get messages from, you know,

people with all their wedding pictures

and they look so in love and they

send me the craziest confessions.

I'm like, oh my gosh.

So if you're ever comparing yourself

to anyone, like you really just

can't because there's a reason why

50% of marriages end in divorce.

You just never know what's going on.

And I think that's especially important

for me being 31 now and kind of starting

my life over, like I want women to see

my story and see other women that maybe,

aren't where they thought they'd be in

life and feel encouraged because it's

such a beautiful chance to start over.

And also, like you just never know

what you're comparing yourself to.

You're only looking at the most

glamorized version of people's lives

online, and sometimes it can be

really easy to fall into that trap.

So yeah, it is really crazy

what that people don't share.

But when they do share.

Yes, I know.

It's like that social media comparison

game of like, you never really know

what lives people are living because

they wanna put up a facade or like,

they just want things to look pretty.

And then that's why like, I think a lot of

times, like people are shocked with like

celebrity divorces or celebrity breakups

because they're like, they look so perfect

and beautiful and like blah, blah blah.

And it's like, well, we're only

seeing them as like a celebrity.

know, we're seeing them in a movie

or we're seeing them on a red carpet.

We're not like in their home.

So we're not, we're only seeing

what they wanna put out, you know?

Right.

Are we gonna talk about

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban?

I was actually thinking that when I

first said that, I was like, what?

Because they're like the og.

They've together

a while.

I know, I don't know when this

is gonna air, but in real time

this is like breaking of like

all the details coming out.

I can't believe it.

That's a great example.

You just never know what's

going on behind the scenes.

They seemed so in love

and dang, I'm shocked.

I thought nothing would shock me anymore.

But because I feel like in celebrity

or Hollywood years, even 10 years, even

five years sometimes is like in celebrity

marriages, that's like a long time.

'cause it just happened so quickly.

So they were going on 20 years almost.

so have you heard anything

else like about it?

Like details come out.

There's allegedly the Nashville

community is saying there's allegedly

another woman that is involved.

I don't know how true that is,

but I guess we'll find out more.

It seems like day by day, but

so today as we're filming Nicole

filed, which is interesting.

Okay.

So I think details are to

come, but I can't believe it.

It's so sad.

Yeah, I know it.

I had to take a double take.

there was just another celebrity

divorce, I feel like, where there

was, oh, not divorce, a breakup.

Sean White and

yes.

Yes.

I just saw that last week.

And there's all these cheating

rumors about like he's like

dealt with cheating in the past.

So I don't know if it was directly on her,

but now all these things are coming out.

But again, this is all a legend.

I don't know, a legend, but

all the players listening.

Yeah, they were always a shocking

couple to me because I remember hearing

things about him years ago that he

was kind of like, full of himself.

I mean,

I think just living in LA you hear

stuff, So I've definitely heard some

interesting stories about him as well.

What man Who fumbles Nina Dore, you

know, no matter what happened, it's

like, I know she seems amazing.

She's so successful.

Gorgeous, so funny.

What a bummer.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, that one shocked me too.

Yeah, it's true.

Well, and then I just, I saw a post

of her, she was like on a boat with

like miles teller and like Zach

Efron and someone else, and I was

like, okay, she's good, she's fine.

You know what I find more interesting

than the breakups is like the friend

breakups, and I don't know if there's

any substance there, but speaking

of the tellers, and we have Taylor

Swift's album coming out on Friday.

What's going on there?

What happened to Kelly Tellers?

I don't know.

They're just like, maybe they are.

But I've been thinking about that

because Taylor's obviously engaged.

Mm-hmm.

Which was

another shock.

I feel like we could just do a top

five wedding stories on this episode.

Yeah.

I swear so much is happening.

But I've been thinking about who

Taylor Swift bridesmaids would be,

and they were super close at one

point and now never see them together.

And like Yeah.

I feel like Kelly would always

post music in her tiktoks.

Mm-hmm.

Now, no, he was even

in one of her music videos.

Yes.

Yes, she was.

Yeah.

Miles was too.

So I'm like, what?

What's the T there?

That's what I wanna know.

Yeah, I find that interesting too.

well, and then the whole, like

her and Blake Lively aren't

friends anymore, which is wild.

But also I feel like, I don't know,

it's like once they get so big, it's.

They all have to have these

really big egos probably.

And it's just like, don't cross me.

I don't know, like, and then the lawyers

get involved and it's messy and I'm sure

there's a lot of like secret friendships

too that we don't know about because they

just know the paparazzi's gonna talk or

media's gonna talk and maybe there's some

that they wanna preserve to themselves.

Yeah.

Protect your peace.

Yeah, I completely understand that.

Yeah.

I feel like the tellers in particular

are really good at like from what

we see publicly, having those really

good, substantial relationships.

And they seem like they're good

friends, so love that they're

protecting Nina during this time.

But yeah, that was a crazy one too.

Yeah.

I mean, better, I don't know your opinion

on this, but I feel like it's better

to cut it off before the engagement if

something's going wrong than too late.

And I think when you are.

Yeah, just for, not even celebrity wise,

but normal person wise, it's so hard when

financially you have so much involved

in a wedding and you're like, oh my

gosh, I have to see this through, even

though I don't think it's gonna work.

And yeah, it's kind of sad.

Yeah.

I've heard so many stories, like some have

been sent to me that are like, they saw

all the red flags during the engagement

and the wedding planning, but then

they felt like they had to keep going.

not necessarily just

to like prove a point.

But they were like, we put money in

already, so like we just have to do it.

But like the one skit, which again,

by the time this comes out, I might

be done with this skit, but this one

skit I'm doing right now, it's so long

because of the story that was sent to

me and it's like super toxic in-laws.

Like I'm talking the dad bought wedding

dresses for the bride to try on from

Amazon, and she was like, already

said no, like, I'm going with my mom.

And he's like, but these are

cheaper, they're more affordable.

she's like, I never said I need

your help with a wedding dress.

And then the mom paid for the venue

without talking to them first.

Oh.

So all this stuff, and I'm just

thinking, I'm like, how do you

deal with something like that?

I can't even imagine at

least people keep commenting.

Like, they've gotta cancel the wedding,

they've gotta cancel the wedding, but

in the actual story, they get married.

So I can only imagine what happens after.

You I don't know, we hear all

these stories growing up, it's like

Disney and all these, you know.

Things like that, where

it's the happily ever after.

So we think you get to the marriage and

that's the finish line, but it's like,

no, that's when your life continues or

starts, or there's so much more after

it, and I feel like we're just, yeah.

Oh, like zoned.

Yeah.

Oh my gosh.

I mean, that is scary.

I feel like it just gets

worse too when you have kids.

I'm sure if they're already poking

the bear and kind of trying to

assert what their boundaries are.

Like once those people become

grandparents, oh my gosh, you're kind of

locked in and Yeah, man, I don't know.

I feel like you marry your

in-laws and that's something

that's not talked about enough.

And yeah, if your spouse is not

setting those boundaries with them,

like, I mean, everyone has different

boundaries, but you kind of have to

gauge your comfortability with that.

And I feel like I hear a lot of

stories of men that don't protect

their wives with their in-laws.

I mean mm-hmm.

We all know some of my lore,

but crazy what people think

is appropriate and what isn't.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

And it's like if you don't put boundaries

in place ahead of time, then they

keep sneaking in or it's, what's that

phrase where it's like if you give

them an inch, they'll take a mile.

Right.

So it's like you say yes to things here

and there, we see it time and time again.

But yeah.

You bring up a good point too.

It's like once babies come, if they

choose to have kids, then that's a

whole, like if they were badgering

wedding planning, just imagine when you

create a life that has their DNA Yeah.

They think they have

a right to that child.

It's wild.

Yeah.

I feel like something I've really learned

just through this last year and through

my own, I guess I'm in like my, not

to sound woowoo, but like my healing

journey, just actively going through a

divorce and I think it's really opened

my eyes to the fact that a lot of

people wanna be married, but they're not

necessarily ready for what marriage is.

And I think generationally as well,

that can apply to your in-laws, right?

Like how things were done 20, 30,

40 years ago isn't acceptable now.

Right.

And it's about setting the foundation

well because the person that you marry

is going to see your parents die.

They're gonna see the

worst days of your life.

there's like just so many things

that happen, like so many seasons

of life that they're supposed to be.

They're with you for, and it's

kind of crazy that I think a lot of

people just wanna check the box of

saying they're married, so they're

like, oh my God, I don't have to

do this anymore, rather than really

committing to what a marriage is and

mm-hmm.

I mean, yeah, I just, the confessions

I get too, it's like I really

don't wanna tell people what to do

'cause I only see a limited view

of what's happening, but Right.

I would be comfortable with certain

situations that I hear about.

Yeah.

And you bring up a good point about

like what was okay or maybe like people

allowed more and our parents generation

is not okay now I think a lot more of us

are looking for more equal partnership

and if they come from a more traditional

background where it's like, maybe it

was the mom stayed home and the dad went

to work and, she's expected to clean,

you know, do his laundry and do all the

dishes and do all that and cook and maybe.

That's not what their life looks like.

I see that all the time where it's like,

you see people post about well, I work

a full-time job and my husband does,

so like we should split the home stuff.

And that is like a whole thing that

the older generation doesn't get.

'cause they're like, well

no, that's not her job.

Her job is this.

You know?

and that's hard for people

to come to terms with,

and especially with a situation with

maybe in-laws that don't respect your

boundaries, it's like, oh my gosh,

it makes everything amplified when

they're making things 10 times worse by

asserting those opinions if there are

those fractures in your relationship.

So yeah, I can't even imagine.

Glad I'm not dealing with that

right now, but Thinking about

that for the next phase of life?

For sure.

Yes, definitely things

you can look out for.

It's like, I will say, and again,

people change sometimes unluckily,

like once you get married or like

as you date people and stuff.

I will say my in-laws

have always been amazing.

I met them within a, I wanna say like the

first five days of meeting my husband.

What?

yeah.

he was like so excited and they

were like having like people

over for a barbecue anyway.

And he like brought me there and, I

don't know, I was never used to like

parents like his, like, they were just

so like, interested in like, getting

to know me and they were like so

welcoming and they were like, right

off the bat were just really cool.

I got really lucky.

So when I read these stories,

I'm just like, I don't know.

that's why I can't

comprehend how people like.

Stay with someone with terrible, in-laws.

' I'm not confrontational.

Like I can feel tension

when it's like bad.

I just don't like it.

And so if every time I had to

go like see my in-laws and I

was like, oh, they hate me.

Like, I couldn't imagine

that would be Yeah.

So uncomfortable.

I feel for his brides and

Right.

It's always the guys that bring nothing

to the table that have the worst parents.

You're like, what?

Like you'll hear these stories

Andre, their whole life.

Yeah.

what did they bring to the relationship?

It sounds like you're doing everything.

Yes.

They did their laundry

till he was 28 or whatever.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Oh my gosh.

I feel like I heard a really good

saying on TikTok where it was like every

relationship, there's a season where

there you have to be like the gardener

or the rose and the roles can change.

And I feel like that's a really

big thing in relationships that

I'm definitely looking forward to.

It's like in some seasons of life,

you're fully the gardener and maybe

someone else needs more support, but

it's the ability to shift those roles

and have the flexibility to shift those

roles that I think is so important.

I think it's possible.

And I just wanna encourage anyone

listening that maybe you've been through

a broken engagement or a divorce.

There's resilience and positivity and so

much growth that happens through that.

And I feel like this has been like

the hardest six months of my life,

and like the loneliest, but it's

also been the most growth, right?

Like, I think

When I was married, I almost felt

like I, it was like six months or six

years of just like, wanting change

and wanting, my life to change should

be different and just feeling stuck.

And in the six months, I feel like

I've grown more than I have in the

last six years, which is insane.

So, can develop and grow and change

and maybe things don't work out, but

there's still lessons out of that and

there's love on the other side of that.

It's great, and I'm surprised,

like I feel like I was really

scared to start dating again.

I'm definitely very lightly looking

like, not like actively seeing

anyone, but I thought people would

judge me so much for being divorced.

And it's literally like doesn't even

phase guys, they're just like, oh, okay.

Like, which I was really surprised by.

So if anyone's like thinking about

it or they're like, oh my God, I

don't know, like I kind of want

a divorce, but I'm too scared.

It's like, it's actually not as

bad as I thought it would be.

On the other side, it's like hard.

But dating wise, I've been

very pleasantly surprise

Good.

I'm sure you're like learning a lot

about yourself too, especially like

first time living alone, and I feel

like a lot of times we like move from

one thing to the next without really

absorbing like, is this making me happy

or do I wanna do something different?

And we just kinda like you said

earlier, like check the boxes.

And so I'm sure you're like really

able to like, ask yourself those

questions and be like, I'm just in

your era of learning about myself

and what actually is important to me?

Yeah.

Yeah.

have a crystal clear definition of what

I want in a partner and I'm just not

gonna settle for anything less than that.

And I think as women we naturally

talk ourselves out of things or we've,

been coached to kind of like settle

for things and it's like we really

don't need to, we're so multifaceted,

we're so successful on our own.

A man should only add value to your life

and should add to your life, period.

He shouldn't detract from be

sucking your life force out.

Right.

And mm-hmm.

Especially when they're the

father of your children.

That's gonna be especially critical

because it's those make or break

moments in life that like you're

really gonna see who they are.

And so yeah, I feel like I'm really

crystal clear on what I want in a

partner and I feel like before I

was like, maybe I want this, maybe

I want that, maybe I'll be flexible.

And I'm like, no, I can

provide that for myself and

mm-hmm.

I

want a man to be welcome addition

to my life, not to provide

something for me, for my life, Yeah.

That alone is such a big lesson

that made it all worth it, I guess.

Yeah.

I feel like all along we were taught, like

growing up to look for the wrong things.

And not, maybe that's a little

general, but you know what I mean?

Like the movies where it's like the

Prince Charming, they're just like

talking about like they look this way,

they, I don't know, whatever it is.

Like they have all this money or they

have this certain job or they have this,

you know, and it's like, but what beneath

the surface, can they actually offer us?

Are they gonna be there when

we need them for something?

Are they going to support us

in our own dreams and goals?

Are they gonna be a good father and

actually want to like be hands on?

Or are they just gonna expect you

to, you know, like those kind of

things are the things we have to like

think about, I think ahead of time.

definitely.

I just had to think like 12 times.

And I think all of those lessons,

which is like all those stories

that are presented to little

girls is all about how they react.

Mm-hmm to these guys, they're just

put in your lap and it's like,

okay, well that's look a Quasimodo.

Like, Esmeralda was so vain

for not being attracted to him.

And it's like, well, okay, but like

why is it on her to react that way?

Or like, I don't know.

There's just so many stories

like Beauty and the Beast, right?

It's like all about why are we

molding ourselves and pivoting to

what society's expectations are?

It's so strange to me and why it's

always, okay, let's see how she

reacts let's see if she's vain.

Let's see if she's,

gonna put up with this.

And it's like, no, Why is Bell

being, put in a situation where she's

being verbally abused and kidnapped

and now she has to be okay with

spending her life with this person.

It's insane.

She's been pleaser.

It's prelim mess.

Exactly.

Just be the caretaker.

Exactly.

Take care of the guy that like

kidnapped you and fall in love

with him because he had told me.

Nice for you.

Yeah.

Wow.

Oh my God.

Give him the benefit of the doubt.

It's fine.

Yeah.

You're expected to be perfect and

beautiful and smart, poised and

the whole package, but it's okay

if he is literally an abuser.

Right.

Um,

okay.

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think those, stories do get into

psyche of little girls and you grow

up and you are like, oh my gosh, I'm

so behind 'cause I'm not, married

at 30 and I don't have a kid.

And it's like, oh my gosh.

those things do get to you

later in life, so Yeah.

Silly as it might sound, it does add up.

Yeah.

Yes.

Everyone's got their own timeline.

okay, I added a couple, a new segment

this time, but I know we also wanna talk

really quickly before we get to that.

Let's talk about the new

Bachelorette from Mom talk.

I'm so excited I'll actually be watching.

Yeah.

So what are your thoughts?

Are you a big mom talk, Secret Lives?

Yes.

Secret Lives and Mormon wives a watcher.

I'm huge.

Like I'm their biggest fan.

I will move to Utah and join Mom Talk.

I love that.

that is the only thing that could get me

to watch The Bachelor Bachelorette again.

It was getting so stale and I feel

like a, B, C just never listens when

the audience gives them feedback, so

finally they do something interesting.

What I thought was interesting, a couple

points that people have brought up is

like, there's almost a double standard

with Taylor where she wouldn't have passed

the background check to go on the show.

Right?

Mm-hmm.

And that is a big thing.

Even though the case was

dismissed against her.

And if anyone doesn't know what we're

talking about, like you can look it up.

But that is an interesting point.

Like are they gonna be more flexible

with the contestants because of that?

Another point people brought up is

like, why not one of the other girls?

What about Layla or Miranda?

I feel like they'd be great.

Yeah.

So I don't know, did they

pick the right person?

Is Miranda, did they not?

Is Miranda the blonde that

just joined season two?

Okay.

So I was like die hard, love season one.

I just have not gotten around

to watching season two, which

I feel like has been out.

I'm so behind.

Oh, to my God.

I think I watched the first two

episodes and I was like, okay.

I just like have, I need to find the time.

But I. Loved Taylor season one.

And then some of my friends

say it kinda like changes.

And now I like love Whitney,

but I don't really like see her.

I just see her on social media

and I see her on Dancing With

the Stars when I catch her.

And I just love her like vibe.

I don't know what it is.

I love her vibe now.

I did not season one, so yeah,

that is really interesting.

It's,

you

know what,

it's interesting how interchangeable

the characters are, right, of

like, who's the villain, who's not.

that was the biggest takeaway

I had from season two.

Not to spoil for you, but like,

yeah, it's like you would think

Whitney Clear cut villain and all

of a sudden it's like, oh nevermind.

She's fine.

And yeah, so it's crazy.

We I guess we'll have to see what

happens, but yeah, it's gonna be a good,

you know what I mean?

It's funny because when I first, to

be all honest, when I first saw them

announced Taylor as The Bachelorette

because I saw Alex Cooper's like teaser.

And I saw it and I was like, what?

That's kind of disappointing.

'cause I was like, all these women

that aren't in reality TV yet, that

are like, want the chance, you know?

But then I thought about

it and what you said.

I'm like, I don't watch

Bachelorette anymore.

I have not watched in years because

I was just so like bored of it and

it just didn't make sense for me.

I was like kind of shocked 'cause

I was like, oh, there's so many

women that wanna go on that have

not been in the reality TV world.

So I feel like when they carry

people over from one show to the

other, I'm just like, ah, come on.

Like, there's so many people

out there that want a chance.

But then when I thought about

it, I'm like, I haven't watched

Bachelorette in years, Bachelor or

Bachelorette, I don't even know who

season I watched last, honestly.

And I'm like, it was kind of boring

and it needed a little excitement.

So for TV entertainment purposes

only, not for like morality or

for like, whoever it should be.

I was like, I can see

Taylor being a good choice.

'cause I was like, people are gonna watch.

Mm-hmm.

My problem is I am so cynical that

I just assume anyone who wants to

be a contestant on either of those

shows wants social media fame.

Mm-hmm.

Which, nothing wrong with that, right?

Like it's a grind out here.

But that's what I'm really worried

about with Taylor because that's a

big storyline on season two of Secret

Lives of Mormon wives is she is.

When you get down to the nitty

gritty, like she's very pure of

heart and she really doesn't care

about the monetary side of it.

She just enjoys her life.

She enjoys the opportunities that

mom talk has provided, but she's

not, I guess, fame hungry, which is

really refreshing and I worry that

her announcement is going to attract.

The wrong type of guy

that just wants fame.

Mm-hmm.

Because it's already been a huge

issue on the Bachelor franchise.

And I feel like they know there

is a built in huge following.

And I mean, I've had negative experiences

with Bachelor Bachelorette contestants,

like on social media just being fame

hungry, like people citing in my dms

about collabs and just being super

weird and I have like no following.

So I'm like, as someone with 4

million followers, like you do

need to think of that stuff.

It's like, are these people just

trying to be famous or do they

genuinely want to be with her?

Mm-hmm.

It's a little bit scary to think about.

Yeah.

I was just talking to someone a couple

weeks ago on the podcast about like

reality TV and what it's turned into, and

I feel like a lot of people do go on just

to get that platform and be famous now.

But yeah, I'm sure even more so with

someone that already has a big following,

they're gonna be these guys that are

gonna be desperate for the limelight.

Yeah, I agree.

I agree.

And it's almost ruined reality TV because

people just going on reality tv, it seems

like, to amplify their brands, but then

they're so scared of getting canceled.

They don't act organic on tv.

And I think that's what's been

so refreshing about Taylor

and the secret lives of Mormon

wives girls, is they don't care.

So I really hope that

doesn't happen this season.

I know, I feel like Taylor's

no BS and she's going to see it

right away, but I don't know.

I'm kind of scared for her.

Yeah, it'll be interesting for sure.

Okay.

so this next one is red flag

versus green flag, and this is

groomsman bridal party edition.

So just say red flag or green

flag based on the scenario.

Okay.

A bridesmaid gets drunk at the

bachelorette and admits she hooked

up with the groom right before

he started dating the bride.

Oh my God.

Definitely not a green flag.

I don't know.

I mean, keeping that secret.

Shitty and

then neither of them bringing it up again.

Yeah,

oof.

Want orange,

that's for sure.

Yeah, I know.

I'm that person.

I have so many questions because I'm

like, why are you waiting until the

bachelorette party and you never told

your friend like, Hey, by the way this

happened, but I don't know when the right

time would be like if they start dating

and you're like, Hey, just so you know.

But then things are always

would be weird, I feel like.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

I guess it's so dependent on

the friend group and their

comfortability, their situation.

I mean, we were literally just talking

about secret lives of Mormon wives,

and that's something actively happening

on secret lives of Mormon wives.

Really.

Layla

dated one brother and dating

another brother, and they're

both totally cool with it.

So.

I guess it depends on what they dated.

The same

brother, they stated the same

brother, or they just dated brothers?

No, Layla is dating.

She's dated the brothers now

she's dating the other brother.

Yeah.

So it's like, that's a weird

situation, but that's weird.

Fine with it.

Yeah, I, I wouldn't be

comfortable with that.

I guess it depends, but yeah, I feel

like your husband or fiance keeping that

from you and your friend, it's like, why?

Mm-hmm.

Very

curious.

Yeah.

That'd be a little, maybe red.

Yeah.

And the timing would make me not happy.

Okay.

Next one.

The maid of honor disappears mid

bachelorette with a random guy

taking the itinerary decorations

and matching outfits with her.

Are these real?

No, I just make 'em up.

Like

these things have happened.

Okay.

I was like, oh my God,

I need more background.

psychotic.

Why?

Like, why red?

That's super strange.

I should say.

Like, why did she steal all this stuff?

So I should say all of these are

like inspired by story sent to us,

but like obviously people don't

send me like, oh, here, this or

that, but like, they're inspired.

Like, someone sent me a story once

where the maid of honor wanted

to go meet up with a guy when

they were at their bachelorette.

So they are inspired,

but like very loosely.

Yeah.

Okay.

Only a red flag.

Like is he having a bachelorette party?

Why do you need all that stuff right now?

photos from the groom's

bachelor party leaked.

He ended up at a strip club.

He swore he didn't want to go to

red.

Red.

No.

Unless it's the hangover.

And he literally is

unconscious in the photos.

No excuse.

Yes.

Bridesmaid's phone lights up at 2:00

AM during the bachelorette and it's

the groom texting her just to vent a

What, what?

I guess if it's sister.

Sure.

Right.

Or his cousin.

But what, what's wrong with these men?

No,

red.

I'm like, these are so red.

The groom secretly invited his

ex to the bachelor party and

the groomsmen let it slide.

Red reds of the No.

Ew.

The thing is, I can so see something

like this happening and no.

No,

I know.

I'm sure a lot.

Yeah.

It's funny too, 'cause like anytime I read

outlandish things like this, someone will

comment like, yeah, that happened to me.

That happened at a

wedding I was at happened.

so it's like no matter how outlandish

it is, like these things happen.

It's just wild.

I had one where the mother-in-law

invited the son's ex to the

wedding as her plus one.

She's like, I get a plus one.

I can invite whoever I want

i's wild.

but anyone who would willingly do that

on either side, the mother-in-law or

the ex willing to go to the wedding,

it's just like, how bored are you in

your life that you have to cause that?

Yes.

Insane fear.

anyone that does that

knows that's not okay.

So you want attention, you want

to make someone feel bad or you

wanna be a bully or something.

Like, you can't be like, oh, I

didn't know that was not acceptable.

Like, come on.

You know, that's not okay.

It's insane.

Okay.

I'll do one more and then

we'll get into the story.

the groom sister, who's a bridesmaid

complains nonstop about the cost and

threatens to drop out every other week.

I almost turned passive aggressive

suite in those situations.

Like a kill 'em with kindness type thing

because you wanna turn it on them to offer

them the out that you wanna give them.

Like you don't want

them to be a bridesmaid.

So you say, I understand weddings

are a huge financial burden.

If it doesn't work for you, no worries.

I can take that off your plate.

Mm-hmm.

Turn it on them.

You voiced how uncomfortable you are.

Like, I wanna be there for you.

You should just enjoy it as a guest.

Don't worry about a gift.

We just wanna have you there.

But I get it.

Yeah.

That's like the perfect way to

respond to someone like that.

'cause again, it's like they're

probably just doing it for attention

or they're unhappy about something.

So that's the best way to do it.

Be like, hey, totally understand.

If you don't wanna be a

part of it, that's fine.

You'll still be there and all

the wedding photos, whatever.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Perfect.

That's all you can do.

It's hard in those situations 'cause

you also wanna be fair and equitable

to your other bridesmaid too.

Mm-hmm.

So it's

like, okay, if I'm paying for

this one person's way, it's like.

Then I really have to pay for everyone

else's way too to make it fair.

So it's kind of hard.

You can't really cherry

pick situations like that.

So you kind of do have to lay

down the hammer, I feel like.

Yeah, definitely.

Even if it's mean,

sorry.

Yeah.

Boundaries aren't mean.

They're just being firm.

Yeah.

I love it.

all right.

Let's blind react to this

week's wedding story submission.

This is a true story that someone

sent to me, so here we go.

Feel free to stop me at any point, or

we'll just kind of react along the way.

Okay.

"We knew right away this wedding

wasn't going to be boring.

At the top of the aisle, there

was a big sign that read,

take a shot and take a seat.

About seven years ago, my husband and

I had just moved into our new house.

On weekends, we picked up part-time jobs

at a local wedding venue, easy money and

something for me to do while my husband

worked shifts at his full-time job.

At that point, I had already been

in the wedding industry for a while,

teaching couples their first dances and

coordinating a few weddings for friends.

So working at a venue felt

pretty natural at this wedding.

This one is always the story I tell

because you just can't make this stuff up.

The day started out like

any other staff arrived.

We set up and everything was on schedule.

The ceremony was supposed to be outside,

but because of rain we had to move

it under the covered reception area.

The guest list was about 120 people,

pretty standard for that venue.

As we were setting up, we noticed a big

bag of Fireball shots next to the sign

that said, take a shot and take a seat.

The bride and groom wanted every

guest to grab one before the

ceremony began." So this is a party.

They wanna start the party off early.

I also love that this is a wedding vendor

story because we don't get a ton of them.

It's normally like the bride

or a bridesmaid So this is like

a cool different perspective.

Okay, it says, as we worked,

one guest caught our attention.

He wore bright coral pants

and a loud floral shirt.

For the sake of the story,

let's call him Derek.

Derek showed up nearly two

hours early and went straight

to the bar asking for a drink.

Now the venue policy was no drinks until

cocktail hour, so we politely told him no.

But Derek did not like that answer.

He marched off to find the groom and

somehow convinced the wedding party to

give us permission to serve him early.

Not exactly standard protocol,

but when the couple says

yes, you follow their wishes.

I'm wondering if they've standard

protocol because of people like this.

So I'm like, how did that guy

convince them to change that?

It's probably not a good idea.

as a former wedding vendor,

I question that honestly.

'cause you know those insurance contracts,

like there's no way if that guy fell down

the stairs or something, they wouldn't

be like, well, protocol, it changes.

Like, no.

Yeah, I know.

I'm like, those are in place for a reason.

Mm-hmm.

I'm just questioning

this venue at this point.

'cause Yeah, with the insurance stuff,

they're very regimented legally.

I've certainly never heard of that, but

yeah.

What up with this venue?

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

It says by picture time we noticed

the groom was already intoxicated,

so now the groom is already drunk.

So this Derrick guy's drunk.

The groom is drunk because

they have shots everywhere.

The ceremony was at 4:00 PM and

when guests arrived, sure enough,

they each grabbed a fireball

shot before taking their seats.

The ceremony went on, but the

bride looked clearly irritated

that our groom was already drunk.

Well, yeah.

I wanna know whose idea it was

to have the shots at the wedding.

You know, like, is water What?

what did you expect?

Like a, a, a. my gosh.

That's insane.

Yeah.

What a nightmare for a venue.

Oh my

gosh.

Right.

Afterward, we flipped the

space for the reception.

At this point, the bar officially opened.

Derek made a big deal about how

he could finally drink now that

we weren't holding out on him.

Dinner was served, dances were

danced, speeches were made.

And you could already tell the group

was sloppy, getting sloppy fast.

See, that's just a problem like I get

wanting to have a party and have fun,

but when you already know people have

drinking problems or can't control

their liquor, and then you hand out

shots before the wedding, before

pictures, it's like people are not

gonna make it to the end of the night.

not gonna be good.

I feel like a lot of venues have no hard

liquor policies because of this, right?

Because accidents happen and people

get super drunk and there's drama.

Or at least the venue has to serve it.

I think.

So again, questioning this venue a little

bit, like why are they allowing this?

Yeah.

Why are they allowing this?

And then breaking the rules.

And again, I really wanna know whose idea

it was to the shots, because it sounds

to me like the groom maybe has some

kind of drinking problem, but like why

would the bride agree to having shots?

Or maybe he's like, oh, I'll be fine.

Like don't worry.

It's like, mm. Will you, will you be okay?

Yeah.

I mean, even my venue,

I was shocked because we had a

no heart liquor policy, I think.

'cause it's like Napa Sonoma.

I'm not sure if that's the whole area, but

our venue did and people snuck in canteens

and they snuck in vodka and stuff.

And I was like, how much

are these people drinking?

My God.

Like why do they need this?

Know what I mean?

And it's something I hear at

every wedding and it's true.

It's like you can't rely on

the fact that people are going

to be a hundred percent sober.

Cra.

It's a huge issue in this country,

obviously, but it's crazy how

even on your wedding day you do

have to think of stuff like that.

Like all the logistics.

Yeah.

I know.

So you can't control what everyone

drinks before the wedding.

You would just hope people that are

in the wedding, especially your groom,

is like, okay, I'm gonna wait to

drink until after to like dancing.

But yeah, okay.

Oh my God, I just, okay.

It says, " then came cake cutting.

The groom was so intoxicated that

he couldn't stand on his own."

marrying this person right now.

And isn't the cake cutting?

I mean, I guess it depends on the wedding,

but before or after the first dance.

Because was he able to do his first dance?

I know.

I feel like it's typically when

you first walk out, sometimes it's

right before dances, but either way.

How he's not gonna be doing that.

What a

nightmare.

"The venue owner had to literally

hold him upright just to get one

decent photo and a slice of cake."

The venue owner is holding him up.

The bride she broke down crying and

ran off." I feel so bad for her.

it makes me wonder too, like what

signs were there ahead of time?

Did she know he had some kind of drinking

problem or like were his groomsmen,

like the culprits and they were, I

mean obviously no one can like make

you, but were they like bringing shots

in and just pouring, like doubles?

Like it makes me really wonder.

that's awful.

for anyone listening who hasn't worked

in the wedding industry, like the

venue is liable if anything happens

to the couple on site, and especially

if people are driving drunk, there's

investigations that go into that stuff.

And if they can track that happens at the

venue, the venue can be in huge trouble.

Right.

So that is really concerning me.

Again, third time I'm

questioning this venue.

'cause What do you mean the venue holder

is like owner's holding him upright.

why are we not calling

paramedics so we don't get sued?

Like this is crazy.

Yeah.

There is a lot of liability

that to think about.

I feel like as a venue.

Yeah, I don't know.

It says, "not long after a little

boy maybe six or seven, walked up

to the bar and asked for a beer.

For who?

We asked.

For my dad.

He's the groom." So now he's sending his

child to the bar to get alcohol for him.

Why are they still serving?

Why is the wedding still going on?

is he just like passed out somewhere.

This is wild.

Where is this?

We need more details.

We told him we couldn't serve minors.

The boy walked away, went back to his dad,

and then the groom stormed over yelling

that we wouldn't give his son a beer.

In what world do you live in where

you can just have your son walk

to the bar and get a beer for you?

"We explained we can't serve anyone

underage, no matter the situation. And

he said, ' well, he gets beers from

me at home all the time.' Then grabbed

his own drink and walked away. All of

the staff just looked at each other

like, did that just really happen?"

This guy sounds real piece of work.

This poor staff.

Hopefully this gives people some

grace for wedding vendors and

what they go through, because this

is unfortunately not uncommon.

Mm-hmm.

Yikes.

Oh no.

Okay.

Then she goes, and "then there

was Derek at one point we saw him

crawling around on the dance floor,

why his glass eye had popped out."

So, where do you live?

Where is this?

What the hell?

it says why, why does

he, I hope this man's

okay.

He's just drunk, crawling around

on the floor, looking for his eye.

God, it says he picked it up, rinsed

it off, and popped it right back in.

Um, thank

You're done with a fireball.

I love

it.

Yeah.

Priorities are straightforward, man.

Clearly.

Later he climbed onto a chair, stroking

the linens hanging from the ceiling.

Lantern in one hand, swaying like

he was in his own private concert.

Why is no one stopping him?

Where is his wife?

She has stormed off.

Why are we not looking for her?

This is the Derek guy, the guest.

Oh.

Oh my God.

Wait, I thought

that,

okay, that makes sense.

Who are these people need to be studied?

Oh my God.

by the end of the night as he staggered

out to his car, why are people

just watching him drive to his car?

Someone noticed he had

lost the glass eye again.

This time in the horse

pasture next to the venue.

That sentence is very troubling to

me because it sounds like he drove

himself home and presumably with one

eye drunk in with one eye, with one

eye drunk.

You know what?

this venue needs to be

shut down immediately.

Immediately.

Yeah.

You guys are, our wedding

venue is watching this go

down, not calling the police.

Yeah.

What's

going on?

Well, these drunk people getting

into their cars, like, come

on, what are we doing here?

she said, the next day, I

have no idea what happened.

I never saw Derrick again and

never saw the couple again either.

But let's just say when you work

weddings, you really do see it.

All the good, the bad, and

the downright unbelievable.

And this wedding was

definitely one for the books.

I

big, big problem at weddings.

But this just sounds like, people

like this ruin it for everybody else.

This poor bride ran away crying.

We don't know what happened to her.

are her And the groom

still together beats me.

I couldn't be with someone after that.

No.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh.

I have no words.

I would like an update on

this one if you can find one.

Maybe if you're a vendor,

try to access the records,

Okay.

This will be my hope.

We're gonna read this story.

The story's gonna come out, the

bride is gonna hear the story, and

she's gonna be like, that's about me.

I need to write my perspective.

Or maybe a bridesmaid so

it's not like directly.

And then we can get a full update.

So I need a glass.

Hi.

Talk to your thing.

Who could forget the glass

eye and the horse pasture?

Wow.

Yeah, I know.

I feel like those are some good clues.

so people that are listening, I mean,

people find everyone on TikTok, right?

I mean, they find the Coldplay

couple, they find, you know.

People can find the glass eye guy.

Maybe he will Reach out to John.

Yes.

Let us know that, that

you're alive and well.

and maybe stop drinking and driving.

Yeah.

With

a glass eye.

You know, I'm gonna hope

maybe look out for others, Yeah.

I'm gonna hope he was just walking to

his car to get like an overnight bag

and then get in the Uber or something.

I'm just gonna hope that was me too.

Yeah.

You say positive.

Yes.

Okay.

I'm just gonna end with some confessions.

People always send me some wild

confessions, so here we go.

This one says, I I just wanted one

of my sisters as my maid of honor.

My mom said all five of my

siblings had to be in the wedding.

I mean, I guess it depends on how

close you are but if it's like,

but boys and girls and your grooms

not close to your brothers, how you

can't really make him have them.

Right?

It on if mom's paying, right?

I guess unfortunately, if mom's

paying mom gets a say, but oof.

Yeah, that's tough.

I have a bunch of siblings and yeah, I

think I had two sisters is bridesmaids.

But yeah, we all vary in ages and

closeness, so there was no way.

So yeah, I think something I've really

learned as I've gotten older is our

parents' decisions aren't necessarily

our decisions and that's okay.

And like if you aren't as close to some

siblings, It's not your fault, Yeah.

Especially if there's like huge

age gaps if you have five siblings.

I'm assuming so.

yeah.

Yeah.

But don't accept money if you aren't

comfortable with something like that.

For sure.

Yes.

But I also agreed too, or also

think too, that like money's not

an indicator of them being able to

control has to be given as a gift.

But, to your point too, is like if

they are making it clear, because

I'm giving you money, I make these

decisions, then yeah, we're gonna like,

no, we don't need your help then, and

we're gonna just do a small wedding.

This one says, I found my dream dress

on Etsy, and my mom said I couldn't get

it because my back fat would hang out.

Oh, what?

Oh, oh my God.

I'm, I'm so

sorry.

Yeah.

That would be an uninvite for me.

Like, yeah.

Someone that's supposed to make you

feel good and beautiful, and then

make a comment about your body.

That's awful.

Oh my God.

And you're gonna be thinking about

that your whole wedding day now too.

Which is so sad.

No matter what dress you end up wearing.

Ugh.

Yeah.

What a terrible mom.

I know.

Like, why would you make that comment?

Like, Ugh, I hate that.

this one says

my wedding was rushed.

My dad was dying.

Mother-in-law told me, wait for

him to die and plan a proper event.

That is terrible.

What.

Why does the mother, oh

my God, that's okay to say

evil family members.

What is this?

Oh, that's awful.

Of course you want your

dad at your wedding.

Yeah, that's

awful.

Like the fact that she'll have those

memories and like pictures with him,

like, oh my gosh, that's terrible.

Okay.

let's do one more.

my stepmom tried to guilt me

into having my abusive alcoholic

bio Dad, walk me down the aisle.

Oh my God.

I mean I feel like that just goes

back to like, don't do anything that

you don't wanna do for your wedding.

anything especially that

makes you uncomfortable or

not happy on your wedding day.

I walked myself down the aisle

'cause my dad passed away.

And yeah, I feel like I had

a, similar situation where

people were just giving me.

Crap about it.

And I was just like, this is my wedding.

Why does anyone have to give me away?

It's such an old fashioned tradition, and

if you wanna do that, that's fine, but it

should be representative of what you want.

Whether that's giving yourself away

or someone you're equally close

to even a friend, even sisters.

Mm-hmm.

People walk their dogs down the aisle like

that doesn't have to be the tradition.

Like no.

Right.

Yeah.

I know I took that sentence

out of our wedding about like,

do your parents give you away?

'cause I was like, I've been out on

my own, like for years at that point.

My now husband, but like, we'd

already been living together for like

four or five years at that point.

So I'm like, they're not giving me away.

I'm my own person out

in the world already.

You know?

So that just felt like a

weird dated phrase for me.

Yes.

Yeah.

There's a lot of data traditions

in weddings that I think we need

to analyze, and if your family's

giving you crap about it, it's

like, why do they need to be there?

You know what I mean?

Like your family should be making you

feel good on your wedding day, and

if they're not and they're causing

drama, it just seems like a lot.

I mean, it's just the tale is old as time

with families causing drama at weddings.

It's just like analyze your closeness with

these people and it's good to know for the

next phases of life of like, okay, check.

I don't need Aunt Susie at this or that

event because she's gonna cause drama.

So it's good to know, but it still sucks.

Yeah, no, for sure.

That is wild.

I feel for all these brides and

grooms and whoever else I have to

deal with, that kind of stuff because

it's just, learning boundaries I

think is like a really big thing.

And When you realize that having

a boundary is not mean, it's just

making yourself more, I don't

know, maybe at peace or something.

I don't know the right term, but like

it's just taking care of yourself.

Having boundaries and they're not mean

because as they're recovering people,

pleaser, I feel like for the longest time

I was like, oh, boundaries are so mean.

I can't have boundaries.

But like it's healthy.

Like you need to have boundaries.

I think the people who push your

boundaries always have the strongest

boundaries, which I find very

ironic and something that I've

learned in the last several months.

It's like, why can these people have

the strongest boundaries in the world?

Or just walk all over me, but then

when I push back, they act like

it's the biggest deal in the world.

It's very interesting.

That's a's very interesting.

So start to analyze that,

those relationships.

Yeah, it's almost like the opposite where

they like weaponize the boundary, right?

Like they are able to have the

strong boundary, but they don't

respect the same for other people.

So that's,

yeah.

I'm a big proponent of, you

need to give the equal energy

that you're capable of taking.

And I definitely had some situations

with my last relationship and like

in-law stuff where things were, said

to me that I would never, if I said

that back, it would be World War iii.

Right?

And it's like, why do you think that's

acceptable to speak to me that way?

And it's always so interesting you see.

Adults emotional maturity.

When you do give it back to them where

you do question their behavior, you start

to see a lot of waterworks and a lot

of triangulation and things like that.

And I think it's hard with these family

situations, but they do make you stronger

on the other side of them, and they

do force you to have those boundaries,

even though it sucks to have to have

them, they're there for a reason.

That's a buzzword for a reason.

So

yeah, boundaries are like

everywhere now, I feel like.

And it's just about using them

in the right way to, you know,

ah, bridge a gap, I think.

And your wedding day is the

right way and the right day.

So a big proponent, do what

you want at your wedding.

Yeah.

Who cares what anyone says

online in real life, your family.

Otherwise it's for you.

And think about why you're

doing it for the right reasons.

Yes, absolutely.

I love that.

Well, thank you so much

for coming back on Cora.

It was so great hanging out with you.

Sorry for all the internet issues.

I don't know what's going on over here.

I gotta figure that out.

Thanks for having me

again.

Let's do it a third time.

Yes, you are always welcome back on.

I've got like so many

stories that are sent to me.

So like me, we're just

constantly rolling them out.

So anytime you wanna come back on.

Awesome.

for anybody that's listening,

where can they follow you?

and what kind of content and

all that good stuff do they see?

Yeah, you can follow me on TikTok at

Cora Lakey or my Instagram, Cora Lakey.

I think different handles

since the time I was here.

And yeah, I talk about my life kind

of healing from, starting over.

I'm started over at 30 and kind of

talking about all the challenges, all

the changes that I wasn't expecting.

So it's been a wild ride and

would love to have you along.

Awesome.

Well

thank you again

for coming on, Cora.