Hi Cora.
Hi
Krista.
Thank you so much for coming back on.
I'm so excited.
Thanks for having me back.
I feel like it's such an honor to be
on more than once, so super excited.
I feel like we just had so much fun last
time we were just talking and it was like,
old friends hanging out and we read crazy
stories and just we wanna spill more tea.
Yeah.
I'm excited to spill with you
or hopefully hear more tea.
I feel like the stories we
covered were crazy last time.
Yes.
So can't wait.
Yeah.
well I'm so excited to have you back on.
I know I just said that, but I feel like
last time it just like flew so well.
and what's new for anyone
that I did not listen to?
Last episode When you came on, what's new?
Who are you?
Tell us about yourself.
Yeah, so a lot has changed
since I was last on.
I feel like I have a new name,
new life, which is crazy.
So I think last time we were together
I was still in the Bay Area, just
like kind of having my life implode.
my divorce was kind of just starting
and now I'm six months in it.
I'm living on my own for
the first time in my life.
I have two dogs and I think
we got connected on TikTok.
So I primarily post on TikTok, which
is maybe how my audience knows me.
And I first went viral there for a
wedding story time that maybe could
have been featured on this show.
and maybe it was an omen for the
marriage working out, but you
know, to give me a whole new.
Career and, a lot of great
relationships like with you, so, yeah.
yeah.
It's funny all the stories that get
sent to me and like, I always wanna do
like, follow up segments with people
too, to be like, I feel like yours.
What had to do more with
like, bridesmaids, right.
And like a friend fallout.
But like, a lot of times when I like
hear about these crazy, like in-law
stories that are sent to me, I'm
like, I wanna follow up with people
and be like, did the marriage work?
Sometimes they tell me like, oh, this is
my ex-husband story, or This is my ex we
never made it down the aisle or something.
' cause I'm like, some of these stories
are so insane where I'm like, how could
you put up with that for a marriage?
Knowing your in-laws hate you,
or a sister-in-law hates you?
that sounds like hell to me.
That sounds terrible.
Yeah.
And I mean, people are sneaky and I
feel like, yeah, you just never know.
And I feel like if people are
having those signs before they
even walk down the aisle, it's
only gonna progressively get worse.
So I agree.
I wanna hear the updates.
So anyone listening, give
us the updates your lives.
Yes.
I know I've had a couple like
brides come on and let me
like, ask them any questions.
They come on anonymously
and spill some stuff.
but it was funny, one time someone came
on and, she was like, yeah, things are,
better than like where they left off.
And then we like hung up where
we stopped recording and she was
honestly, like things are like
getting kind of worse again.
But like, I don't wanna say
anything yet because I'm not sure.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
what is going on?
Like there's just, I don't know, people
deal with a lot of stuff in relationships.
Is it crazy?
You never know what's going
on behind closed doors.
And I feel like I've been trying to
toe that fine line 'cause I've been
talking about my divorce publicly, but
I obviously haven't said the actual
reasons publicly because you know,
A, it's no one's business and I think
there's a fine line with creators, but
BI think it's like, I don't wanna make
anyone, I guess like second guess things
going on in their relationships because
you just never know what's happening.
And even like the little tidbits
I've shared, it is crazy.
Like the dms I'll get of like, oh
my gosh, I've been through that too.
Or I've experienced that scenario
and on paper they look so happy.
Or I'll get messages from, you know,
people with all their wedding pictures
and they look so in love and they
send me the craziest confessions.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
So if you're ever comparing yourself
to anyone, like you really just
can't because there's a reason why
50% of marriages end in divorce.
You just never know what's going on.
And I think that's especially important
for me being 31 now and kind of starting
my life over, like I want women to see
my story and see other women that maybe,
aren't where they thought they'd be in
life and feel encouraged because it's
such a beautiful chance to start over.
And also, like you just never know
what you're comparing yourself to.
You're only looking at the most
glamorized version of people's lives
online, and sometimes it can be
really easy to fall into that trap.
So yeah, it is really crazy
what that people don't share.
But when they do share.
Yes, I know.
It's like that social media comparison
game of like, you never really know
what lives people are living because
they wanna put up a facade or like,
they just want things to look pretty.
And then that's why like, I think a lot of
times, like people are shocked with like
celebrity divorces or celebrity breakups
because they're like, they look so perfect
and beautiful and like blah, blah blah.
And it's like, well, we're only
seeing them as like a celebrity.
know, we're seeing them in a movie
or we're seeing them on a red carpet.
We're not like in their home.
So we're not, we're only seeing
what they wanna put out, you know?
Right.
Are we gonna talk about
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban?
I was actually thinking that when I
first said that, I was like, what?
Because they're like the og.
They've together
a while.
I know, I don't know when this
is gonna air, but in real time
this is like breaking of like
all the details coming out.
I can't believe it.
That's a great example.
You just never know what's
going on behind the scenes.
They seemed so in love
and dang, I'm shocked.
I thought nothing would shock me anymore.
But because I feel like in celebrity
or Hollywood years, even 10 years, even
five years sometimes is like in celebrity
marriages, that's like a long time.
'cause it just happened so quickly.
So they were going on 20 years almost.
so have you heard anything
else like about it?
Like details come out.
There's allegedly the Nashville
community is saying there's allegedly
another woman that is involved.
I don't know how true that is,
but I guess we'll find out more.
It seems like day by day, but
so today as we're filming Nicole
filed, which is interesting.
Okay.
So I think details are to
come, but I can't believe it.
It's so sad.
Yeah, I know it.
I had to take a double take.
there was just another celebrity
divorce, I feel like, where there
was, oh, not divorce, a breakup.
Sean White and
yes.
Yes.
I just saw that last week.
And there's all these cheating
rumors about like he's like
dealt with cheating in the past.
So I don't know if it was directly on her,
but now all these things are coming out.
But again, this is all a legend.
I don't know, a legend, but
all the players listening.
Yeah, they were always a shocking
couple to me because I remember hearing
things about him years ago that he
was kind of like, full of himself.
I mean,
I think just living in LA you hear
stuff, So I've definitely heard some
interesting stories about him as well.
What man Who fumbles Nina Dore, you
know, no matter what happened, it's
like, I know she seems amazing.
She's so successful.
Gorgeous, so funny.
What a bummer.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, that one shocked me too.
Yeah, it's true.
Well, and then I just, I saw a post
of her, she was like on a boat with
like miles teller and like Zach
Efron and someone else, and I was
like, okay, she's good, she's fine.
You know what I find more interesting
than the breakups is like the friend
breakups, and I don't know if there's
any substance there, but speaking
of the tellers, and we have Taylor
Swift's album coming out on Friday.
What's going on there?
What happened to Kelly Tellers?
I don't know.
They're just like, maybe they are.
But I've been thinking about that
because Taylor's obviously engaged.
Mm-hmm.
Which was
another shock.
I feel like we could just do a top
five wedding stories on this episode.
Yeah.
I swear so much is happening.
But I've been thinking about who
Taylor Swift bridesmaids would be,
and they were super close at one
point and now never see them together.
And like Yeah.
I feel like Kelly would always
post music in her tiktoks.
Mm-hmm.
Now, no, he was even
in one of her music videos.
Yes.
Yes, she was.
Yeah.
Miles was too.
So I'm like, what?
What's the T there?
That's what I wanna know.
Yeah, I find that interesting too.
well, and then the whole, like
her and Blake Lively aren't
friends anymore, which is wild.
But also I feel like, I don't know,
it's like once they get so big, it's.
They all have to have these
really big egos probably.
And it's just like, don't cross me.
I don't know, like, and then the lawyers
get involved and it's messy and I'm sure
there's a lot of like secret friendships
too that we don't know about because they
just know the paparazzi's gonna talk or
media's gonna talk and maybe there's some
that they wanna preserve to themselves.
Yeah.
Protect your peace.
Yeah, I completely understand that.
Yeah.
I feel like the tellers in particular
are really good at like from what
we see publicly, having those really
good, substantial relationships.
And they seem like they're good
friends, so love that they're
protecting Nina during this time.
But yeah, that was a crazy one too.
Yeah.
I mean, better, I don't know your opinion
on this, but I feel like it's better
to cut it off before the engagement if
something's going wrong than too late.
And I think when you are.
Yeah, just for, not even celebrity wise,
but normal person wise, it's so hard when
financially you have so much involved
in a wedding and you're like, oh my
gosh, I have to see this through, even
though I don't think it's gonna work.
And yeah, it's kind of sad.
Yeah.
I've heard so many stories, like some have
been sent to me that are like, they saw
all the red flags during the engagement
and the wedding planning, but then
they felt like they had to keep going.
not necessarily just
to like prove a point.
But they were like, we put money in
already, so like we just have to do it.
But like the one skit, which again,
by the time this comes out, I might
be done with this skit, but this one
skit I'm doing right now, it's so long
because of the story that was sent to
me and it's like super toxic in-laws.
Like I'm talking the dad bought wedding
dresses for the bride to try on from
Amazon, and she was like, already
said no, like, I'm going with my mom.
And he's like, but these are
cheaper, they're more affordable.
she's like, I never said I need
your help with a wedding dress.
And then the mom paid for the venue
without talking to them first.
Oh.
So all this stuff, and I'm just
thinking, I'm like, how do you
deal with something like that?
I can't even imagine at
least people keep commenting.
Like, they've gotta cancel the wedding,
they've gotta cancel the wedding, but
in the actual story, they get married.
So I can only imagine what happens after.
You I don't know, we hear all
these stories growing up, it's like
Disney and all these, you know.
Things like that, where
it's the happily ever after.
So we think you get to the marriage and
that's the finish line, but it's like,
no, that's when your life continues or
starts, or there's so much more after
it, and I feel like we're just, yeah.
Oh, like zoned.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
I mean, that is scary.
I feel like it just gets
worse too when you have kids.
I'm sure if they're already poking
the bear and kind of trying to
assert what their boundaries are.
Like once those people become
grandparents, oh my gosh, you're kind of
locked in and Yeah, man, I don't know.
I feel like you marry your
in-laws and that's something
that's not talked about enough.
And yeah, if your spouse is not
setting those boundaries with them,
like, I mean, everyone has different
boundaries, but you kind of have to
gauge your comfortability with that.
And I feel like I hear a lot of
stories of men that don't protect
their wives with their in-laws.
I mean mm-hmm.
We all know some of my lore,
but crazy what people think
is appropriate and what isn't.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And it's like if you don't put boundaries
in place ahead of time, then they
keep sneaking in or it's, what's that
phrase where it's like if you give
them an inch, they'll take a mile.
Right.
So it's like you say yes to things here
and there, we see it time and time again.
But yeah.
You bring up a good point too.
It's like once babies come, if they
choose to have kids, then that's a
whole, like if they were badgering
wedding planning, just imagine when you
create a life that has their DNA Yeah.
They think they have
a right to that child.
It's wild.
Yeah.
I feel like something I've really learned
just through this last year and through
my own, I guess I'm in like my, not
to sound woowoo, but like my healing
journey, just actively going through a
divorce and I think it's really opened
my eyes to the fact that a lot of
people wanna be married, but they're not
necessarily ready for what marriage is.
And I think generationally as well,
that can apply to your in-laws, right?
Like how things were done 20, 30,
40 years ago isn't acceptable now.
Right.
And it's about setting the foundation
well because the person that you marry
is going to see your parents die.
They're gonna see the
worst days of your life.
there's like just so many things
that happen, like so many seasons
of life that they're supposed to be.
They're with you for, and it's
kind of crazy that I think a lot of
people just wanna check the box of
saying they're married, so they're
like, oh my God, I don't have to
do this anymore, rather than really
committing to what a marriage is and
mm-hmm.
I mean, yeah, I just, the confessions
I get too, it's like I really
don't wanna tell people what to do
'cause I only see a limited view
of what's happening, but Right.
I would be comfortable with certain
situations that I hear about.
Yeah.
And you bring up a good point about
like what was okay or maybe like people
allowed more and our parents generation
is not okay now I think a lot more of us
are looking for more equal partnership
and if they come from a more traditional
background where it's like, maybe it
was the mom stayed home and the dad went
to work and, she's expected to clean,
you know, do his laundry and do all the
dishes and do all that and cook and maybe.
That's not what their life looks like.
I see that all the time where it's like,
you see people post about well, I work
a full-time job and my husband does,
so like we should split the home stuff.
And that is like a whole thing that
the older generation doesn't get.
'cause they're like, well
no, that's not her job.
Her job is this.
You know?
and that's hard for people
to come to terms with,
and especially with a situation with
maybe in-laws that don't respect your
boundaries, it's like, oh my gosh,
it makes everything amplified when
they're making things 10 times worse by
asserting those opinions if there are
those fractures in your relationship.
So yeah, I can't even imagine.
Glad I'm not dealing with that
right now, but Thinking about
that for the next phase of life?
For sure.
Yes, definitely things
you can look out for.
It's like, I will say, and again,
people change sometimes unluckily,
like once you get married or like
as you date people and stuff.
I will say my in-laws
have always been amazing.
I met them within a, I wanna say like the
first five days of meeting my husband.
What?
yeah.
he was like so excited and they
were like having like people
over for a barbecue anyway.
And he like brought me there and, I
don't know, I was never used to like
parents like his, like, they were just
so like, interested in like, getting
to know me and they were like so
welcoming and they were like, right
off the bat were just really cool.
I got really lucky.
So when I read these stories,
I'm just like, I don't know.
that's why I can't
comprehend how people like.
Stay with someone with terrible, in-laws.
' I'm not confrontational.
Like I can feel tension
when it's like bad.
I just don't like it.
And so if every time I had to
go like see my in-laws and I
was like, oh, they hate me.
Like, I couldn't imagine
that would be Yeah.
So uncomfortable.
I feel for his brides and
Right.
It's always the guys that bring nothing
to the table that have the worst parents.
You're like, what?
Like you'll hear these stories
Andre, their whole life.
Yeah.
what did they bring to the relationship?
It sounds like you're doing everything.
Yes.
They did their laundry
till he was 28 or whatever.
Exactly.
Oh my gosh.
I feel like I heard a really good
saying on TikTok where it was like every
relationship, there's a season where
there you have to be like the gardener
or the rose and the roles can change.
And I feel like that's a really
big thing in relationships that
I'm definitely looking forward to.
It's like in some seasons of life,
you're fully the gardener and maybe
someone else needs more support, but
it's the ability to shift those roles
and have the flexibility to shift those
roles that I think is so important.
I think it's possible.
And I just wanna encourage anyone
listening that maybe you've been through
a broken engagement or a divorce.
There's resilience and positivity and so
much growth that happens through that.
And I feel like this has been like
the hardest six months of my life,
and like the loneliest, but it's
also been the most growth, right?
Like, I think
When I was married, I almost felt
like I, it was like six months or six
years of just like, wanting change
and wanting, my life to change should
be different and just feeling stuck.
And in the six months, I feel like
I've grown more than I have in the
last six years, which is insane.
So, can develop and grow and change
and maybe things don't work out, but
there's still lessons out of that and
there's love on the other side of that.
It's great, and I'm surprised,
like I feel like I was really
scared to start dating again.
I'm definitely very lightly looking
like, not like actively seeing
anyone, but I thought people would
judge me so much for being divorced.
And it's literally like doesn't even
phase guys, they're just like, oh, okay.
Like, which I was really surprised by.
So if anyone's like thinking about
it or they're like, oh my God, I
don't know, like I kind of want
a divorce, but I'm too scared.
It's like, it's actually not as
bad as I thought it would be.
On the other side, it's like hard.
But dating wise, I've been
very pleasantly surprise
Good.
I'm sure you're like learning a lot
about yourself too, especially like
first time living alone, and I feel
like a lot of times we like move from
one thing to the next without really
absorbing like, is this making me happy
or do I wanna do something different?
And we just kinda like you said
earlier, like check the boxes.
And so I'm sure you're like really
able to like, ask yourself those
questions and be like, I'm just in
your era of learning about myself
and what actually is important to me?
Yeah.
have a crystal clear definition of what
I want in a partner and I'm just not
gonna settle for anything less than that.
And I think as women we naturally
talk ourselves out of things or we've,
been coached to kind of like settle
for things and it's like we really
don't need to, we're so multifaceted,
we're so successful on our own.
A man should only add value to your life
and should add to your life, period.
He shouldn't detract from be
sucking your life force out.
Right.
And mm-hmm.
Especially when they're the
father of your children.
That's gonna be especially critical
because it's those make or break
moments in life that like you're
really gonna see who they are.
And so yeah, I feel like I'm really
crystal clear on what I want in a
partner and I feel like before I
was like, maybe I want this, maybe
I want that, maybe I'll be flexible.
And I'm like, no, I can
provide that for myself and
mm-hmm.
I
want a man to be welcome addition
to my life, not to provide
something for me, for my life, Yeah.
That alone is such a big lesson
that made it all worth it, I guess.
Yeah.
I feel like all along we were taught, like
growing up to look for the wrong things.
And not, maybe that's a little
general, but you know what I mean?
Like the movies where it's like the
Prince Charming, they're just like
talking about like they look this way,
they, I don't know, whatever it is.
Like they have all this money or they
have this certain job or they have this,
you know, and it's like, but what beneath
the surface, can they actually offer us?
Are they gonna be there when
we need them for something?
Are they going to support us
in our own dreams and goals?
Are they gonna be a good father and
actually want to like be hands on?
Or are they just gonna expect you
to, you know, like those kind of
things are the things we have to like
think about, I think ahead of time.
definitely.
I just had to think like 12 times.
And I think all of those lessons,
which is like all those stories
that are presented to little
girls is all about how they react.
Mm-hmm to these guys, they're just
put in your lap and it's like,
okay, well that's look a Quasimodo.
Like, Esmeralda was so vain
for not being attracted to him.
And it's like, well, okay, but like
why is it on her to react that way?
Or like, I don't know.
There's just so many stories
like Beauty and the Beast, right?
It's like all about why are we
molding ourselves and pivoting to
what society's expectations are?
It's so strange to me and why it's
always, okay, let's see how she
reacts let's see if she's vain.
Let's see if she's,
gonna put up with this.
And it's like, no, Why is Bell
being, put in a situation where she's
being verbally abused and kidnapped
and now she has to be okay with
spending her life with this person.
It's insane.
She's been pleaser.
It's prelim mess.
Exactly.
Just be the caretaker.
Exactly.
Take care of the guy that like
kidnapped you and fall in love
with him because he had told me.
Nice for you.
Yeah.
Wow.
Oh my God.
Give him the benefit of the doubt.
It's fine.
Yeah.
You're expected to be perfect and
beautiful and smart, poised and
the whole package, but it's okay
if he is literally an abuser.
Right.
Um,
okay.
You know?
Yeah.
I think those, stories do get into
psyche of little girls and you grow
up and you are like, oh my gosh, I'm
so behind 'cause I'm not, married
at 30 and I don't have a kid.
And it's like, oh my gosh.
those things do get to you
later in life, so Yeah.
Silly as it might sound, it does add up.
Yeah.
Yes.
Everyone's got their own timeline.
okay, I added a couple, a new segment
this time, but I know we also wanna talk
really quickly before we get to that.
Let's talk about the new
Bachelorette from Mom talk.
I'm so excited I'll actually be watching.
Yeah.
So what are your thoughts?
Are you a big mom talk, Secret Lives?
Yes.
Secret Lives and Mormon wives a watcher.
I'm huge.
Like I'm their biggest fan.
I will move to Utah and join Mom Talk.
I love that.
that is the only thing that could get me
to watch The Bachelor Bachelorette again.
It was getting so stale and I feel
like a, B, C just never listens when
the audience gives them feedback, so
finally they do something interesting.
What I thought was interesting, a couple
points that people have brought up is
like, there's almost a double standard
with Taylor where she wouldn't have passed
the background check to go on the show.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
And that is a big thing.
Even though the case was
dismissed against her.
And if anyone doesn't know what we're
talking about, like you can look it up.
But that is an interesting point.
Like are they gonna be more flexible
with the contestants because of that?
Another point people brought up is
like, why not one of the other girls?
What about Layla or Miranda?
I feel like they'd be great.
Yeah.
So I don't know, did they
pick the right person?
Is Miranda, did they not?
Is Miranda the blonde that
just joined season two?
Okay.
So I was like die hard, love season one.
I just have not gotten around
to watching season two, which
I feel like has been out.
I'm so behind.
Oh, to my God.
I think I watched the first two
episodes and I was like, okay.
I just like have, I need to find the time.
But I. Loved Taylor season one.
And then some of my friends
say it kinda like changes.
And now I like love Whitney,
but I don't really like see her.
I just see her on social media
and I see her on Dancing With
the Stars when I catch her.
And I just love her like vibe.
I don't know what it is.
I love her vibe now.
I did not season one, so yeah,
that is really interesting.
It's,
you
know what,
it's interesting how interchangeable
the characters are, right, of
like, who's the villain, who's not.
that was the biggest takeaway
I had from season two.
Not to spoil for you, but like,
yeah, it's like you would think
Whitney Clear cut villain and all
of a sudden it's like, oh nevermind.
She's fine.
And yeah, so it's crazy.
We I guess we'll have to see what
happens, but yeah, it's gonna be a good,
you know what I mean?
It's funny because when I first, to
be all honest, when I first saw them
announced Taylor as The Bachelorette
because I saw Alex Cooper's like teaser.
And I saw it and I was like, what?
That's kind of disappointing.
'cause I was like, all these women
that aren't in reality TV yet, that
are like, want the chance, you know?
But then I thought about
it and what you said.
I'm like, I don't watch
Bachelorette anymore.
I have not watched in years because
I was just so like bored of it and
it just didn't make sense for me.
I was like kind of shocked 'cause
I was like, oh, there's so many
women that wanna go on that have
not been in the reality TV world.
So I feel like when they carry
people over from one show to the
other, I'm just like, ah, come on.
Like, there's so many people
out there that want a chance.
But then when I thought about
it, I'm like, I haven't watched
Bachelorette in years, Bachelor or
Bachelorette, I don't even know who
season I watched last, honestly.
And I'm like, it was kind of boring
and it needed a little excitement.
So for TV entertainment purposes
only, not for like morality or
for like, whoever it should be.
I was like, I can see
Taylor being a good choice.
'cause I was like, people are gonna watch.
Mm-hmm.
My problem is I am so cynical that
I just assume anyone who wants to
be a contestant on either of those
shows wants social media fame.
Mm-hmm.
Which, nothing wrong with that, right?
Like it's a grind out here.
But that's what I'm really worried
about with Taylor because that's a
big storyline on season two of Secret
Lives of Mormon wives is she is.
When you get down to the nitty
gritty, like she's very pure of
heart and she really doesn't care
about the monetary side of it.
She just enjoys her life.
She enjoys the opportunities that
mom talk has provided, but she's
not, I guess, fame hungry, which is
really refreshing and I worry that
her announcement is going to attract.
The wrong type of guy
that just wants fame.
Mm-hmm.
Because it's already been a huge
issue on the Bachelor franchise.
And I feel like they know there
is a built in huge following.
And I mean, I've had negative experiences
with Bachelor Bachelorette contestants,
like on social media just being fame
hungry, like people citing in my dms
about collabs and just being super
weird and I have like no following.
So I'm like, as someone with 4
million followers, like you do
need to think of that stuff.
It's like, are these people just
trying to be famous or do they
genuinely want to be with her?
Mm-hmm.
It's a little bit scary to think about.
Yeah.
I was just talking to someone a couple
weeks ago on the podcast about like
reality TV and what it's turned into, and
I feel like a lot of people do go on just
to get that platform and be famous now.
But yeah, I'm sure even more so with
someone that already has a big following,
they're gonna be these guys that are
gonna be desperate for the limelight.
Yeah, I agree.
I agree.
And it's almost ruined reality TV because
people just going on reality tv, it seems
like, to amplify their brands, but then
they're so scared of getting canceled.
They don't act organic on tv.
And I think that's what's been
so refreshing about Taylor
and the secret lives of Mormon
wives girls, is they don't care.
So I really hope that
doesn't happen this season.
I know, I feel like Taylor's
no BS and she's going to see it
right away, but I don't know.
I'm kind of scared for her.
Yeah, it'll be interesting for sure.
Okay.
so this next one is red flag
versus green flag, and this is
groomsman bridal party edition.
So just say red flag or green
flag based on the scenario.
Okay.
A bridesmaid gets drunk at the
bachelorette and admits she hooked
up with the groom right before
he started dating the bride.
Oh my God.
Definitely not a green flag.
I don't know.
I mean, keeping that secret.
Shitty and
then neither of them bringing it up again.
Yeah,
oof.
Want orange,
that's for sure.
Yeah, I know.
I'm that person.
I have so many questions because I'm
like, why are you waiting until the
bachelorette party and you never told
your friend like, Hey, by the way this
happened, but I don't know when the right
time would be like if they start dating
and you're like, Hey, just so you know.
But then things are always
would be weird, I feel like.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I guess it's so dependent on
the friend group and their
comfortability, their situation.
I mean, we were literally just talking
about secret lives of Mormon wives,
and that's something actively happening
on secret lives of Mormon wives.
Really.
Layla
dated one brother and dating
another brother, and they're
both totally cool with it.
So.
I guess it depends on what they dated.
The same
brother, they stated the same
brother, or they just dated brothers?
No, Layla is dating.
She's dated the brothers now
she's dating the other brother.
Yeah.
So it's like, that's a weird
situation, but that's weird.
Fine with it.
Yeah, I, I wouldn't be
comfortable with that.
I guess it depends, but yeah, I feel
like your husband or fiance keeping that
from you and your friend, it's like, why?
Mm-hmm.
Very
curious.
Yeah.
That'd be a little, maybe red.
Yeah.
And the timing would make me not happy.
Okay.
Next one.
The maid of honor disappears mid
bachelorette with a random guy
taking the itinerary decorations
and matching outfits with her.
Are these real?
No, I just make 'em up.
Like
these things have happened.
Okay.
I was like, oh my God,
I need more background.
psychotic.
Why?
Like, why red?
That's super strange.
I should say.
Like, why did she steal all this stuff?
So I should say all of these are
like inspired by story sent to us,
but like obviously people don't
send me like, oh, here, this or
that, but like, they're inspired.
Like, someone sent me a story once
where the maid of honor wanted
to go meet up with a guy when
they were at their bachelorette.
So they are inspired,
but like very loosely.
Yeah.
Okay.
Only a red flag.
Like is he having a bachelorette party?
Why do you need all that stuff right now?
photos from the groom's
bachelor party leaked.
He ended up at a strip club.
He swore he didn't want to go to
red.
Red.
No.
Unless it's the hangover.
And he literally is
unconscious in the photos.
No excuse.
Yes.
Bridesmaid's phone lights up at 2:00
AM during the bachelorette and it's
the groom texting her just to vent a
What, what?
I guess if it's sister.
Sure.
Right.
Or his cousin.
But what, what's wrong with these men?
No,
red.
I'm like, these are so red.
The groom secretly invited his
ex to the bachelor party and
the groomsmen let it slide.
Red reds of the No.
Ew.
The thing is, I can so see something
like this happening and no.
No,
I know.
I'm sure a lot.
Yeah.
It's funny too, 'cause like anytime I read
outlandish things like this, someone will
comment like, yeah, that happened to me.
That happened at a
wedding I was at happened.
so it's like no matter how outlandish
it is, like these things happen.
It's just wild.
I had one where the mother-in-law
invited the son's ex to the
wedding as her plus one.
She's like, I get a plus one.
I can invite whoever I want
i's wild.
but anyone who would willingly do that
on either side, the mother-in-law or
the ex willing to go to the wedding,
it's just like, how bored are you in
your life that you have to cause that?
Yes.
Insane fear.
anyone that does that
knows that's not okay.
So you want attention, you want
to make someone feel bad or you
wanna be a bully or something.
Like, you can't be like, oh, I
didn't know that was not acceptable.
Like, come on.
You know, that's not okay.
It's insane.
Okay.
I'll do one more and then
we'll get into the story.
the groom sister, who's a bridesmaid
complains nonstop about the cost and
threatens to drop out every other week.
I almost turned passive aggressive
suite in those situations.
Like a kill 'em with kindness type thing
because you wanna turn it on them to offer
them the out that you wanna give them.
Like you don't want
them to be a bridesmaid.
So you say, I understand weddings
are a huge financial burden.
If it doesn't work for you, no worries.
I can take that off your plate.
Mm-hmm.
Turn it on them.
You voiced how uncomfortable you are.
Like, I wanna be there for you.
You should just enjoy it as a guest.
Don't worry about a gift.
We just wanna have you there.
But I get it.
Yeah.
That's like the perfect way to
respond to someone like that.
'cause again, it's like they're
probably just doing it for attention
or they're unhappy about something.
So that's the best way to do it.
Be like, hey, totally understand.
If you don't wanna be a
part of it, that's fine.
You'll still be there and all
the wedding photos, whatever.
Yeah.
Perfect.
That's all you can do.
It's hard in those situations 'cause
you also wanna be fair and equitable
to your other bridesmaid too.
Mm-hmm.
So it's
like, okay, if I'm paying for
this one person's way, it's like.
Then I really have to pay for everyone
else's way too to make it fair.
So it's kind of hard.
You can't really cherry
pick situations like that.
So you kind of do have to lay
down the hammer, I feel like.
Yeah, definitely.
Even if it's mean,
sorry.
Yeah.
Boundaries aren't mean.
They're just being firm.
Yeah.
I love it.
all right.
Let's blind react to this
week's wedding story submission.
This is a true story that someone
sent to me, so here we go.
Feel free to stop me at any point, or
we'll just kind of react along the way.
Okay.
"We knew right away this wedding
wasn't going to be boring.
At the top of the aisle, there
was a big sign that read,
take a shot and take a seat.
About seven years ago, my husband and
I had just moved into our new house.
On weekends, we picked up part-time jobs
at a local wedding venue, easy money and
something for me to do while my husband
worked shifts at his full-time job.
At that point, I had already been
in the wedding industry for a while,
teaching couples their first dances and
coordinating a few weddings for friends.
So working at a venue felt
pretty natural at this wedding.
This one is always the story I tell
because you just can't make this stuff up.
The day started out like
any other staff arrived.
We set up and everything was on schedule.
The ceremony was supposed to be outside,
but because of rain we had to move
it under the covered reception area.
The guest list was about 120 people,
pretty standard for that venue.
As we were setting up, we noticed a big
bag of Fireball shots next to the sign
that said, take a shot and take a seat.
The bride and groom wanted every
guest to grab one before the
ceremony began." So this is a party.
They wanna start the party off early.
I also love that this is a wedding vendor
story because we don't get a ton of them.
It's normally like the bride
or a bridesmaid So this is like
a cool different perspective.
Okay, it says, as we worked,
one guest caught our attention.
He wore bright coral pants
and a loud floral shirt.
For the sake of the story,
let's call him Derek.
Derek showed up nearly two
hours early and went straight
to the bar asking for a drink.
Now the venue policy was no drinks until
cocktail hour, so we politely told him no.
But Derek did not like that answer.
He marched off to find the groom and
somehow convinced the wedding party to
give us permission to serve him early.
Not exactly standard protocol,
but when the couple says
yes, you follow their wishes.
I'm wondering if they've standard
protocol because of people like this.
So I'm like, how did that guy
convince them to change that?
It's probably not a good idea.
as a former wedding vendor,
I question that honestly.
'cause you know those insurance contracts,
like there's no way if that guy fell down
the stairs or something, they wouldn't
be like, well, protocol, it changes.
Like, no.
Yeah, I know.
I'm like, those are in place for a reason.
Mm-hmm.
I'm just questioning
this venue at this point.
'cause Yeah, with the insurance stuff,
they're very regimented legally.
I've certainly never heard of that, but
yeah.
What up with this venue?
Yeah.
All right.
It says by picture time we noticed
the groom was already intoxicated,
so now the groom is already drunk.
So this Derrick guy's drunk.
The groom is drunk because
they have shots everywhere.
The ceremony was at 4:00 PM and
when guests arrived, sure enough,
they each grabbed a fireball
shot before taking their seats.
The ceremony went on, but the
bride looked clearly irritated
that our groom was already drunk.
Well, yeah.
I wanna know whose idea it was
to have the shots at the wedding.
You know, like, is water What?
what did you expect?
Like a, a, a. my gosh.
That's insane.
Yeah.
What a nightmare for a venue.
Oh my
gosh.
Right.
Afterward, we flipped the
space for the reception.
At this point, the bar officially opened.
Derek made a big deal about how
he could finally drink now that
we weren't holding out on him.
Dinner was served, dances were
danced, speeches were made.
And you could already tell the group
was sloppy, getting sloppy fast.
See, that's just a problem like I get
wanting to have a party and have fun,
but when you already know people have
drinking problems or can't control
their liquor, and then you hand out
shots before the wedding, before
pictures, it's like people are not
gonna make it to the end of the night.
not gonna be good.
I feel like a lot of venues have no hard
liquor policies because of this, right?
Because accidents happen and people
get super drunk and there's drama.
Or at least the venue has to serve it.
I think.
So again, questioning this venue a little
bit, like why are they allowing this?
Yeah.
Why are they allowing this?
And then breaking the rules.
And again, I really wanna know whose idea
it was to the shots, because it sounds
to me like the groom maybe has some
kind of drinking problem, but like why
would the bride agree to having shots?
Or maybe he's like, oh, I'll be fine.
Like don't worry.
It's like, mm. Will you, will you be okay?
Yeah.
I mean, even my venue,
I was shocked because we had a
no heart liquor policy, I think.
'cause it's like Napa Sonoma.
I'm not sure if that's the whole area, but
our venue did and people snuck in canteens
and they snuck in vodka and stuff.
And I was like, how much
are these people drinking?
My God.
Like why do they need this?
Know what I mean?
And it's something I hear at
every wedding and it's true.
It's like you can't rely on
the fact that people are going
to be a hundred percent sober.
Cra.
It's a huge issue in this country,
obviously, but it's crazy how
even on your wedding day you do
have to think of stuff like that.
Like all the logistics.
Yeah.
I know.
So you can't control what everyone
drinks before the wedding.
You would just hope people that are
in the wedding, especially your groom,
is like, okay, I'm gonna wait to
drink until after to like dancing.
But yeah, okay.
Oh my God, I just, okay.
It says, " then came cake cutting.
The groom was so intoxicated that
he couldn't stand on his own."
marrying this person right now.
And isn't the cake cutting?
I mean, I guess it depends on the wedding,
but before or after the first dance.
Because was he able to do his first dance?
I know.
I feel like it's typically when
you first walk out, sometimes it's
right before dances, but either way.
How he's not gonna be doing that.
What a
nightmare.
"The venue owner had to literally
hold him upright just to get one
decent photo and a slice of cake."
The venue owner is holding him up.
The bride she broke down crying and
ran off." I feel so bad for her.
it makes me wonder too, like what
signs were there ahead of time?
Did she know he had some kind of drinking
problem or like were his groomsmen,
like the culprits and they were, I
mean obviously no one can like make
you, but were they like bringing shots
in and just pouring, like doubles?
Like it makes me really wonder.
that's awful.
for anyone listening who hasn't worked
in the wedding industry, like the
venue is liable if anything happens
to the couple on site, and especially
if people are driving drunk, there's
investigations that go into that stuff.
And if they can track that happens at the
venue, the venue can be in huge trouble.
Right.
So that is really concerning me.
Again, third time I'm
questioning this venue.
'cause What do you mean the venue holder
is like owner's holding him upright.
why are we not calling
paramedics so we don't get sued?
Like this is crazy.
Yeah.
There is a lot of liability
that to think about.
I feel like as a venue.
Yeah, I don't know.
It says, "not long after a little
boy maybe six or seven, walked up
to the bar and asked for a beer.
For who?
We asked.
For my dad.
He's the groom." So now he's sending his
child to the bar to get alcohol for him.
Why are they still serving?
Why is the wedding still going on?
is he just like passed out somewhere.
This is wild.
Where is this?
We need more details.
We told him we couldn't serve minors.
The boy walked away, went back to his dad,
and then the groom stormed over yelling
that we wouldn't give his son a beer.
In what world do you live in where
you can just have your son walk
to the bar and get a beer for you?
"We explained we can't serve anyone
underage, no matter the situation. And
he said, ' well, he gets beers from
me at home all the time.' Then grabbed
his own drink and walked away. All of
the staff just looked at each other
like, did that just really happen?"
This guy sounds real piece of work.
This poor staff.
Hopefully this gives people some
grace for wedding vendors and
what they go through, because this
is unfortunately not uncommon.
Mm-hmm.
Yikes.
Oh no.
Okay.
Then she goes, and "then there
was Derek at one point we saw him
crawling around on the dance floor,
why his glass eye had popped out."
So, where do you live?
Where is this?
What the hell?
it says why, why does
he, I hope this man's
okay.
He's just drunk, crawling around
on the floor, looking for his eye.
God, it says he picked it up, rinsed
it off, and popped it right back in.
Um, thank
You're done with a fireball.
I love
it.
Yeah.
Priorities are straightforward, man.
Clearly.
Later he climbed onto a chair, stroking
the linens hanging from the ceiling.
Lantern in one hand, swaying like
he was in his own private concert.
Why is no one stopping him?
Where is his wife?
She has stormed off.
Why are we not looking for her?
This is the Derek guy, the guest.
Oh.
Oh my God.
Wait, I thought
that,
okay, that makes sense.
Who are these people need to be studied?
Oh my God.
by the end of the night as he staggered
out to his car, why are people
just watching him drive to his car?
Someone noticed he had
lost the glass eye again.
This time in the horse
pasture next to the venue.
That sentence is very troubling to
me because it sounds like he drove
himself home and presumably with one
eye drunk in with one eye, with one
eye drunk.
You know what?
this venue needs to be
shut down immediately.
Immediately.
Yeah.
You guys are, our wedding
venue is watching this go
down, not calling the police.
Yeah.
What's
going on?
Well, these drunk people getting
into their cars, like, come
on, what are we doing here?
she said, the next day, I
have no idea what happened.
I never saw Derrick again and
never saw the couple again either.
But let's just say when you work
weddings, you really do see it.
All the good, the bad, and
the downright unbelievable.
And this wedding was
definitely one for the books.
I
big, big problem at weddings.
But this just sounds like, people
like this ruin it for everybody else.
This poor bride ran away crying.
We don't know what happened to her.
are her And the groom
still together beats me.
I couldn't be with someone after that.
No.
Oh my gosh.
I have no words.
I would like an update on
this one if you can find one.
Maybe if you're a vendor,
try to access the records,
Okay.
This will be my hope.
We're gonna read this story.
The story's gonna come out, the
bride is gonna hear the story, and
she's gonna be like, that's about me.
I need to write my perspective.
Or maybe a bridesmaid so
it's not like directly.
And then we can get a full update.
So I need a glass.
Hi.
Talk to your thing.
Who could forget the glass
eye and the horse pasture?
Wow.
Yeah, I know.
I feel like those are some good clues.
so people that are listening, I mean,
people find everyone on TikTok, right?
I mean, they find the Coldplay
couple, they find, you know.
People can find the glass eye guy.
Maybe he will Reach out to John.
Yes.
Let us know that, that
you're alive and well.
and maybe stop drinking and driving.
Yeah.
With
a glass eye.
You know, I'm gonna hope
maybe look out for others, Yeah.
I'm gonna hope he was just walking to
his car to get like an overnight bag
and then get in the Uber or something.
I'm just gonna hope that was me too.
Yeah.
You say positive.
Yes.
Okay.
I'm just gonna end with some confessions.
People always send me some wild
confessions, so here we go.
This one says, I I just wanted one
of my sisters as my maid of honor.
My mom said all five of my
siblings had to be in the wedding.
I mean, I guess it depends on how
close you are but if it's like,
but boys and girls and your grooms
not close to your brothers, how you
can't really make him have them.
Right?
It on if mom's paying, right?
I guess unfortunately, if mom's
paying mom gets a say, but oof.
Yeah, that's tough.
I have a bunch of siblings and yeah, I
think I had two sisters is bridesmaids.
But yeah, we all vary in ages and
closeness, so there was no way.
So yeah, I think something I've really
learned as I've gotten older is our
parents' decisions aren't necessarily
our decisions and that's okay.
And like if you aren't as close to some
siblings, It's not your fault, Yeah.
Especially if there's like huge
age gaps if you have five siblings.
I'm assuming so.
yeah.
Yeah.
But don't accept money if you aren't
comfortable with something like that.
For sure.
Yes.
But I also agreed too, or also
think too, that like money's not
an indicator of them being able to
control has to be given as a gift.
But, to your point too, is like if
they are making it clear, because
I'm giving you money, I make these
decisions, then yeah, we're gonna like,
no, we don't need your help then, and
we're gonna just do a small wedding.
This one says, I found my dream dress
on Etsy, and my mom said I couldn't get
it because my back fat would hang out.
Oh, what?
Oh, oh my God.
I'm, I'm so
sorry.
Yeah.
That would be an uninvite for me.
Like, yeah.
Someone that's supposed to make you
feel good and beautiful, and then
make a comment about your body.
That's awful.
Oh my God.
And you're gonna be thinking about
that your whole wedding day now too.
Which is so sad.
No matter what dress you end up wearing.
Ugh.
Yeah.
What a terrible mom.
I know.
Like, why would you make that comment?
Like, Ugh, I hate that.
this one says
my wedding was rushed.
My dad was dying.
Mother-in-law told me, wait for
him to die and plan a proper event.
That is terrible.
What.
Why does the mother, oh
my God, that's okay to say
evil family members.
What is this?
Oh, that's awful.
Of course you want your
dad at your wedding.
Yeah, that's
awful.
Like the fact that she'll have those
memories and like pictures with him,
like, oh my gosh, that's terrible.
Okay.
let's do one more.
my stepmom tried to guilt me
into having my abusive alcoholic
bio Dad, walk me down the aisle.
Oh my God.
I mean I feel like that just goes
back to like, don't do anything that
you don't wanna do for your wedding.
anything especially that
makes you uncomfortable or
not happy on your wedding day.
I walked myself down the aisle
'cause my dad passed away.
And yeah, I feel like I had
a, similar situation where
people were just giving me.
Crap about it.
And I was just like, this is my wedding.
Why does anyone have to give me away?
It's such an old fashioned tradition, and
if you wanna do that, that's fine, but it
should be representative of what you want.
Whether that's giving yourself away
or someone you're equally close
to even a friend, even sisters.
Mm-hmm.
People walk their dogs down the aisle like
that doesn't have to be the tradition.
Like no.
Right.
Yeah.
I know I took that sentence
out of our wedding about like,
do your parents give you away?
'cause I was like, I've been out on
my own, like for years at that point.
My now husband, but like, we'd
already been living together for like
four or five years at that point.
So I'm like, they're not giving me away.
I'm my own person out
in the world already.
You know?
So that just felt like a
weird dated phrase for me.
Yes.
Yeah.
There's a lot of data traditions
in weddings that I think we need
to analyze, and if your family's
giving you crap about it, it's
like, why do they need to be there?
You know what I mean?
Like your family should be making you
feel good on your wedding day, and
if they're not and they're causing
drama, it just seems like a lot.
I mean, it's just the tale is old as time
with families causing drama at weddings.
It's just like analyze your closeness with
these people and it's good to know for the
next phases of life of like, okay, check.
I don't need Aunt Susie at this or that
event because she's gonna cause drama.
So it's good to know, but it still sucks.
Yeah, no, for sure.
That is wild.
I feel for all these brides and
grooms and whoever else I have to
deal with, that kind of stuff because
it's just, learning boundaries I
think is like a really big thing.
And When you realize that having
a boundary is not mean, it's just
making yourself more, I don't
know, maybe at peace or something.
I don't know the right term, but like
it's just taking care of yourself.
Having boundaries and they're not mean
because as they're recovering people,
pleaser, I feel like for the longest time
I was like, oh, boundaries are so mean.
I can't have boundaries.
But like it's healthy.
Like you need to have boundaries.
I think the people who push your
boundaries always have the strongest
boundaries, which I find very
ironic and something that I've
learned in the last several months.
It's like, why can these people have
the strongest boundaries in the world?
Or just walk all over me, but then
when I push back, they act like
it's the biggest deal in the world.
It's very interesting.
That's a's very interesting.
So start to analyze that,
those relationships.
Yeah, it's almost like the opposite where
they like weaponize the boundary, right?
Like they are able to have the
strong boundary, but they don't
respect the same for other people.
So that's,
yeah.
I'm a big proponent of, you
need to give the equal energy
that you're capable of taking.
And I definitely had some situations
with my last relationship and like
in-law stuff where things were, said
to me that I would never, if I said
that back, it would be World War iii.
Right?
And it's like, why do you think that's
acceptable to speak to me that way?
And it's always so interesting you see.
Adults emotional maturity.
When you do give it back to them where
you do question their behavior, you start
to see a lot of waterworks and a lot
of triangulation and things like that.
And I think it's hard with these family
situations, but they do make you stronger
on the other side of them, and they
do force you to have those boundaries,
even though it sucks to have to have
them, they're there for a reason.
That's a buzzword for a reason.
So
yeah, boundaries are like
everywhere now, I feel like.
And it's just about using them
in the right way to, you know,
ah, bridge a gap, I think.
And your wedding day is the
right way and the right day.
So a big proponent, do what
you want at your wedding.
Yeah.
Who cares what anyone says
online in real life, your family.
Otherwise it's for you.
And think about why you're
doing it for the right reasons.
Yes, absolutely.
I love that.
Well, thank you so much
for coming back on Cora.
It was so great hanging out with you.
Sorry for all the internet issues.
I don't know what's going on over here.
I gotta figure that out.
Thanks for having me
again.
Let's do it a third time.
Yes, you are always welcome back on.
I've got like so many
stories that are sent to me.
So like me, we're just
constantly rolling them out.
So anytime you wanna come back on.
Awesome.
for anybody that's listening,
where can they follow you?
and what kind of content and
all that good stuff do they see?
Yeah, you can follow me on TikTok at
Cora Lakey or my Instagram, Cora Lakey.
I think different handles
since the time I was here.
And yeah, I talk about my life kind
of healing from, starting over.
I'm started over at 30 and kind of
talking about all the challenges, all
the changes that I wasn't expecting.
So it's been a wild ride and
would love to have you along.
Awesome.
Well
thank you again
for coming on, Cora.