Bad Takes All Around_mixdown
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Speaker: [00:00:00] Hey friends. Welcome to the Mr. Pick me in the Man Hater podcast. I all

the man hater and this is Matthew McConaughey.

Speaker 2: All right. Hello everybody. I don't even know how we sound.

Speaker: You got duck called Lincolns.

Speaker 2: I love Lincoln's.

Speaker: Yeah, the car didn't he for Lincoln? Oh yeah.

Speaker 2: Well, when I'm driving in my Lincoln, I'm Matthew McConaughey.

Speaker 3: When I'm driving in my Lincoln, I, Matthew McConaughey in my

Speaker 2: Lincoln.

All right, all right,

Speaker 3: all right, all right. All right. When I'm driving is not Lincoln

Speaker 2: Checo the picker of me's, picker of me, me pick Mr. Picks.

Speaker 4: Just spit everywhere. Pick your

Speaker 2: sports bets. We're sponsored by

Speaker 4: sports betting. No

Speaker 2: sports. Pick bug mes. Pick [00:01:00] your mes on sports bets. Who do you have the your money on today, Reagan?

Speaker 4: Oh, the red jackals.

Speaker 2: The red jackals.

Speaker 4: I don't know. I made up a team.

Speaker 2: I'm gonna really, because I, so I, I really like baseball and basketball. Those are my two favorite sports to watch.

Speaker 4: Okay.

Speaker 2: Um, and, uh, and I really hate the Dodgers. Oh. Which is weird. 'cause I'm, I live in Los Angeles, but I'm from San Francisco.

Uh, and so I feel it's, I'm in a weird torn position right now where I have so many friends that are Dodgers fans and I want them to be happy. But I also hate the Dodgers. It's not as bad as it used to be. It used to be a lot more like. I had a lot more invested. I don't know where, where would I actually hurt my feelings if the Dodgers did well?

Now I'm like, I don't know. I think I spent, I, I had a revelation a few years back where I realized, I was like, why am I so angry about something so inconsequential that I have no [00:02:00] control over? Like with sport, I was, I used to, I was, this shocks a lot of people, but I used to be huge sports fan. I'm still a big sports fan, but I'm not like, I was a stereotype, right?

I'd be like, no, our team is, we're doing better than your team. Fucking sucks. I hate your fucking team. Um, I wouldn't say that out loud, but inside, that's how I was feeling. Right? Um, and I remember like when I'm, I mentioned I'm a Giants fan. Our old closer, Brian Wilson, our closer, when we won the World Series, he went to the Dodgers and I remember it made me sick.

Like, I remember like actually being like, it affected me for like weeks or I was like, no. Luckily he wasn't good for the Dodgers, so it didn't hurt too bad, but it, it like actually hurt me. And it was, it was like a, I think it was when I had, that was right before it was right when I, like, I was a newer father and I remember thinking, I was like, why do I care?

Why am I so, there's no reason I don't have, I don't invest in this team. Right. I don't play for [00:03:00] them. They don't know I exist. Right. There's, there's no nothing. I have, there's nothing I've put into anything they've done. Well, none of their championships were a result of, because I cheered a little louder that day, or because I was watching them on, on, uh, probably illegally streaming them because I live in la Nobody should admit that online.

Um, but like there was, I used to be so mad about it and I was like, what, what's the point? Why am I so excited? I don't get as angry anymore. But the Dodgers still, there's that underlying part of me that. Does not want them to win.

Speaker: I have nothing but apathy for sports. I complete indifference. Couldn't tell you.

Somebody says, oh, did you watch the game? Which one, what, what sport? Which team? Mm-hmm. But I became very skilled at faking, like I knew it was going on so much mm-hmm. That my dad's best friend had a son that was like four [00:04:00] years younger than me, but like

Speaker 5: mm-hmm.

Speaker: We had an ongoing rivalry mm-hmm. Where he truly believed I was a die hard sports fan for whatever team was against his.

Mm-hmm. And we would, we would text each other and I would give him shit all the time. I don't even know what team I was rooting for to this day. I think he liked the Razorbacks, I don't know, Uhhuh, uh, like Arizona or Arizona, not, uh, Arkansas. I mean, see. Mm-hmm. Uh,

Speaker 2: Arkansas. It was the, so it was a college team too.

Speaker: I all teams. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I would just start shit, and I would make it up and I'd listen to the things he would say and I would retort back with something that go just to, just to fuck with him. Just to start shit, just to fuck with him, because that's what everybody was doing. And I was like, I can get it on this with zero information.

Mm-hmm. It was passable. It was not until we were like adults that I was like, I don't know anything about this. Right. I, I can't keep this ruse going. I literally couldn't get less.

Speaker 2: I think the other side of it is like, that's why, like, that's the one thing I know I can talk to other, like random dudes about is sports, like other men.

I'm like, I'm like, all right, we'll talk [00:05:00] about, but the problems, I don't. And so like my wife will always be like, if we go to an event or something and there's other like, well, you, you, you, I know you watch them. I see you watch them. I know. And I'm more of a stats guy. Like I'll spend all this time like undergoing all the, the advanced stats.

I love numbers, right. Uh, and so I'll go to them and I'm like, I don't, I thi but I feel like you voted for Donald Trump. I don't wanna share this joy. This is my joy. I don't want this joy to be shared experience with you're on. Yeah. Just because we might like the same sports team or might like the same sport.

I don't want to enjoy that with you. I don't like, I, this is my joy. You don't, you don't, I'm not gonna give you some extra insights for your fantasy team, or I'm not gonna help you win your league.

Speaker: I have always had a deeply antagonistic relationship with men, even though I'm friends with men, like I get along great with men, but I feel like my favorite thing is giving shit to men and like, and back and [00:06:00] back, like back and forth, like,

Speaker 6: mm-hmm.

Speaker: I'm down for just like, like banter back and forth. But yeah, so that was the only reason I ever got involved in the game was like. Let me start some shit.

Speaker 2: Alright. This isn't what our, all right. We should probably get to the show, but this isn't what our, this isn't the clip I brought in today, but there's been a lot of conversations of a lot of guys.

This could actually be, you know what, let's start on this, this con. Let's go to the theme, theme song,

Speaker 6: what you want. Bad advice, man. I'll give it out. Glad I got some good advice for you. No, you don't know. You don't? I got some good advice for you. No, you don't.

Speaker 2: I you don't. Shit what's

Speaker 4: happening

Speaker: right now. I wanna

Speaker 2: talk about today 'cause this is an actual discussion I wanna, wanna talk about, but I, for I, this is not what we're going to discuss today.

Is it

Speaker: about sports? 'cause I will have nothing to say. No, no, no.

Speaker 2: It's not, but it's this. Okay. Reminded me. The sports conversation reminded me of it. Uh, there's been a lot of guys. [00:07:00] Talking about their private group texts or group texts. Oh.

Speaker: Oh God. My, because you're gonna say privates. I was like, no,

Speaker 2: no. About, they're like their group and they're all like, well, I mean, I of course, and it's like, it's left leaning guys that I know that I like, that are also saying it, it's a, it's like there's not a political, that realm because it all started the discussion about the, the young Republicans.

We talked about that before a little bit.

Speaker: So this, there's, I just so everybody's aware of what we're talking about, 'cause we're getting on a roll here. We're talking about the fact that men are now coming out saying they have private chats or referencing these private chats that they have, these

Speaker 2: group chats that they're with, like these, with other men texts with their, with their close friends.

Right. And there's so, and it all, it all started with like the whole. Repub young Republicans, the middle aged Republicans. Yeah, the middle aged Republican, the young Republicans, which for Republicans 40 is pretty young. That's how the conversation started, and there will be guys like saying, oh, no, no, that's terrible.

Having said [00:08:00] that, I'd also feel real bad if my private, and I'm like, I'm watching, and you see all these guys, they'll see all these people responding. They're like, yeah, no, sir. Like my group chat with my friends got out. I, it would also probably look pretty, so they're like showing this weird empathy toward it, and I'm like, whoa, who the fuck are you?

What are you saying in your group chats?

Speaker: That's, I, that would be my first question, because like, I do get, I think like in with your friends, you say like you are embarra things, there are things you can go to a To a level. Yeah. Yeah. You just, yeah. Mm-hmm. I'm sure you, mm-hmm. I've sent so many random gifts.

Mm-hmm. It's like gifts, gifts, gifts. Mm-hmm. That's all half my things. Anyways. I don't say offensive shit though. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I guess there's a difference between like, oh, this is an inside joke where I'm being a weirdo. That's my side. Right. I'm like, I've been very strange in this conversation. Mm-hmm.

Versus like people being genuinely terrified if the general public were to look in their right inbox or see their private chat. I feel like if you're feeling empathy for the first time [00:09:00] for these men, but it's because you can also think about how bad it would be if your private messages with your buddies got out.

We have a big problem, right? We have questions. More questions.

Speaker 2: I feel like, and, and this is, I was trying to figure out the disconnect because I, I've been had a group chat with my two best friends, um, for 15 years. As long as we've had cell phones, we've had a, this chat with the three of us, like all the way back to, to undergrad.

There's not, and I went, I went scrolling for a while. I was like, some, some trauma in

Speaker: there.

Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh yeah. There's, there's, we, we discuss serious things too, but we actually also discuss like our personal lives. Like that's the kind of stuff I wouldn't want out, like, like stuff Oh. I'm dealing with, you know, so things like, we actually care about each other, right.

'cause we're long-term friends.

Speaker: You show each other empathy and emotion. Shocking. Right.

Speaker 2: But I went scroll, I was trying to, and I went back for a long time and there's, there was. Nothing that would be like cancelable, right? There's stuff, and, and my two best friends are, they'll say some shit that are like, like they're, they're [00:10:00] blunt and they're funny.

But I, I thought about it. I was like, they're, I, I, my two best friends are, are black men. They, and I'm wondering if it's white guys. I'm wondering if these group chats are like these. What happens when you get a bunch of white guys in a private, in a silo? Conver in a, like in a little, in a, and where they mm-hmm.

Feel safe to just be whatever they're thinking. Right. Whatever. Feel, whatever. I feel

Speaker: unsafe immediately.

Speaker 2: Yeah. I know. Oh my, oh god. But I was like, get better friends. Like, honestly, if, if you're saying like the horrific shit, if you, if you are saying something that made you empathize with the, with the guys that we're talking about, like NS being Nazis and all the other horrific things you were in Yes.

Speaker: It was literally racism and n that's like when, mm-hmm. When like a crime happens. And then some guy's like, well, we don't know what his perspective was like he mm-hmm. Hit 81 women with his car, like, yep.

Speaker 2: What, what did they, what did they say to him before? Or you see, you, you see that all the time in like, [00:11:00] in things where, like where, especially with like where a cop is being like clearly breaking the law in harming somebody or doing some sort of mm-hmm.

Like over like overreach. Right. We don't, we don't, we don't. That's a long, much longer discussion than we were gonna have today. Yeah. But like in general, it'll be something like where the cop just like hits a woman in the face with a baton or something like that and they'll be like, well, what did she say to him as if that justifies it as if somehow she was like, well, was she being respectful?

And then what did he say before? Nothing that deserves to be smacked in the face with a baton.

Speaker: I will tell you right now. Mm-hmm. Pay attention to what people wanna excuse or play devil's advocate for. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. First of all, the devil don't need an advocate. Okay. He's got plenty of 'em. And he speaks for himself actually.

Mm-hmm. I think it's, I don't believe in an actual devil. I know. I just think men are terrible. Um, yeah. And women and a lot of people, but it's not a red horned guy. Anyways, moving on. I don't know why I got a tangent about whether or [00:12:00] not the devil exists. Um, I just didn't want people to think. I just, I

Speaker 2: don't, I need people to know, I want to be clear here.

I don't want you thinking. That I have that's

Speaker: in my head. My thought was like, oh my God, they're gonna think you're a Jesus freak or something, that you're into the devil

Speaker 2: before you finish your wr. I, I do think that, 'cause I'll say God knows, or on, or jokingly, I'll say on the day of our Lord, October 30th or something like that, I'll say those things and I'll be like, oh wait, I wonder if people think that.

Like, I meant that like, like sincerely.

Speaker: Anyways, back to the man. So. I am always blown away by how much people are willing to reveal about themselves when they stand up for something atrocious. Mm-hmm. Like, well, we didn't really know what happened and uh, you know, I don't wanna talk before the facts. And I'm like, there are no facts around this that could ever justify the action that was taken by this person.

Mm-hmm. But like, it happens all the time. And I'm like, do you realize, like, it is [00:13:00] so clear that you are saying that because you relate more to the perpetrator mm-hmm. Than the victim in this, in this, uh, specific scenario. Mm-hmm. Whatever the case may be. Like you relate more to this person than that person.

Mm-hmm. And the fact that you do and you relate so much that you have to talk about it.

Speaker 6: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: That makes me nervous. Like I, I cannot believe people are like, oh, well I wouldn't want my chat out. That's not something to brag about. No, you should think about that. You should look at yourself, reflect,

Speaker 2: even if that's true, even if you did reflect on that and you're like, fuck, I have said some horrible things.

Do you, you didn't need to say that. You didn't need to defend these guys see it? Yeah. Why? That could have just been an inside thought and you guys, maybe you could have gone to the group chat and be like, Hey guys, can we all delete, delete what we've all ever, can we delete this chat and never reference it again because we, that is pretty fucked up.

Why did we do that? Why did we think that was okay? And then you all reflect on that and you grow as people as opposed to being like, it's, that's what you do in group chats. It's not, [00:14:00] it's not what you do.

Speaker: Dude, I, I truly agree. I think you are so right when you said this is what happens when a bunch of white men get together.

Mm-hmm. Because like, I have had this happen in real life where like. I will, it's always that one of my acting jobs, when you do like acting like you think it's should be all left, it is not. Mm-hmm. There's absolutely not very beliefs.

Speaker 2: Shockingly. So. Some like high ups in theater will be. Mm-hmm.

Speaker: I once befriended this guy on set and was like, oh, he is really cool.

Mm-hmm. And, uh, we, we, we got along but it wasn't to an antagonistic, we were kind of riff. Mm-hmm. Like kind of going at each other, uh, which should have keyed me into something like maybe there's something that's just adversarial here. And then I found out he's has like a right wing podcast, a Christian right-wing podcast.

Mm-hmm. Where he like posts all this crazy shit about women. I'm like, mm-hmm. Oh my God. Anyways, [00:15:00] you don't know what you're gonna get. So there was one type different time that I was like, in the room. I leave, I come back and they're talking about crazy shit. Mm-hmm. And I was gone for like 10 minutes, like crazy offensive bullshit.

Mm-hmm. And that's how quickly the room turned when I had left, like mm-hmm. It is wild, like what men will say to each other. Mm-hmm. When nobody's, they think nobody's watching, nobody's listening and there's no repercussions.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Like what

Speaker 2: as the, this happens racially too. I was say as a, as a white presenting Latino.

Like I, when I was in Arizona, especially there when, when like I remember I was gonna get haircut once and that's such a weird experience 'cause you're like, I can't. I can't call you up till you finish. I need, I need, I can't leave. I mean, it, maybe that's self-serving, but I'm like, I need you to finish this.

Cut. And I'm, could you finish my cut

Speaker: real quick?

Speaker 2: I need you to finish this. And then I, this happened one time specifically where I was like, [00:16:00] Hey, uh, just so you know, like I'm the child of an immigrant. I'm from a Salvador. Uh, do you, do you think that about me? I don't remember what they said. It was something specifically about like anchor babies they were bringing up, and I'm not technically an anchor baby again.

What? But, uh, it was like this whole thing they were coming off on Wait, cutting

Speaker 4: your hair.

Speaker 2: Yeah. Uh, and uh, and I was like sitting there like. So I never went back to that super cuts again.

Speaker: You know what it was? I, it was some cheap like, like super cuts.

Speaker 2: It was like great clips or something like that. It was one of those like little what places

Speaker: fucking diabolical hair cutter, like hairdresser.

Like think that it's to be like, lemme just say something very racist while I have scissors.

Speaker 2: I have to believe though, that it must give you a lot of confidence because I can't, I'm not the only one in the middle of a haircut of, so, and it wasn't like overt, it wasn't like power if it was Yeah. That you have such power in that moment.

'cause you know that everyone's like, oh shit, I don't want to, I don't want have to leave and go somewhere else halfway through the cut. And it wasn't, it wasn't like overtly [00:17:00] racist. Like if it was like, if it was something like she was like. Using like a racial like, oh, it was a woman. It was a woman, yeah.

Oh. But it wasn't something where it was, it was so bad that I was like, 'cause it was something that was so blatantly fucking racist. It was like a microaggression racist, Ugh. Hate that. Where I was like, I was like, oh, I'm gonna hold my tongue until she finishes and then say something. Um, which is also a privilege to be able to do in it itself.

That's a whole nother, uh, discussion. But anyways, but, but it's so, like, people will say shit all the time. And I had, that's what I'm saying, I have to believe it's like, oh, when you get like this, this, this c this little private

Speaker 6: mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: Connection between people of privilege. It's got, that's gotta make it.

And then when nobody said, when somebody, somebody probably breaks the ice and says something once and everyone and someone's smiley face reacts to it or it doesn't say something, they're like, oh, okay. This is the space where we can do these bad takes.

Speaker: This is a safe, this is a safe, evil space.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: This is a, a safe space [00:18:00] only for us else. We can try out these, everyone else. This is very dangerous.

Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and it's different. If they said something, it was like, oh, I made a mistake. I was like, uh, that's that probably that sounded worse than I wanted it to sound. Right. Versus like, is it, was that good?

Did that, I, is that funny?

Speaker: People make the mistake with me all the time.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: All I have a very, we've talked about this outwardly. Mm-hmm. Um, I'm looking very middle America.

Speaker 6: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: I pro, like, I look like I go to church probably.

Speaker 6: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Definitely look straight. We know that. Yeah. We know that. Although now it's a little bit better.

Mm-hmm. But it used to be very not noticeable and like. People have said things in front of me that goes very poorly. Mm-hmm. Um, granted they didn't have scissors, so I felt like I could yell at them or Right. Or, or talk to 'em. I

Speaker 2: always did. I always do say something in that moment. I just wanted the haircut to be fixed.

Speaker: You had scissors and you were in the military. I get it. Uh, you did say something after, [00:19:00] but it's just like, it's, it's scary though, because the times that it's happened to me mm-hmm. I'm like, whoa. Like, you are one way too comfortable with your shit, but also what the hell is going on? Mm-hmm. Like what?

Like, it's like it, it's the same like the locker room talk. It's like what are these conversations? Mm-hmm. When people are completely unchecked. Unchecked. Mm-hmm. And it's so scary to me because like mm-hmm. Like I said, people make the mistake with me, but not people. Mm-hmm. If you've talked to me for like 10 minutes, you're not gonna say that stuff.

Mm-hmm. You're not gonna say anything sex, racist, homophobic in my presence, but. Like, this is what's going on. This, this is what, like, literally like your government officials that are in charge of supposedly taking care of you mm-hmm. Are doing, and their private chats. This could be your pastor, this could be your mm-hmm.

Friend's, your husband, your friend's husband, your dad's friends. Like, it's so scary to think about when these dudes get [00:20:00] siloed. I'm, I'm sure when women are siloed, like a bunch of white women is a horrifying place, I'm sure. Mm-hmm. Um, but like, it's just, it's scary, like how dark things got, like the things that were being said, it's not surprising, but like in the context of what supposedly the group was, I was like, mm-hmm.

If this is fair play, if nobody's scared to say this shit to each other mm-hmm. We got a big problem.

Speaker 2: And it's, it's also, don't pretend like that's the only place that's being set. I know also, that's what I'm saying. Well, we have this, this is something we, we, we know it's, it's okay because we know that it don't actually think that

Speaker: we're only racist, homophobic, and sexist here.

Speaker 2: Right.

Speaker: But when we get out of here, we don't have any of those beliefs.

Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, don't give me, like, when I'm around, like when I've, I've hung around with my gay friends who will make the most homophobic comments, but it's an in-group thing, right? Like they, they'll say, yeah, but it's not really homophobic.

It's different. It's not really, 'cause you're kind of joking about like, or same thing like my two, like [00:21:00] they'll, they'll say stuff where I'm like, I can't say that.

Speaker: Well, of course, but that you're, that's because ev you know, you are not those things. Exactly. Yeah. You do not hold these beliefs. It's a joke within itself.

Speaker 6: Yeah. Like there's

Speaker: a reason, like I always get very annoyed when people like, well, how come mine can't say that? I'm like. What does it stand for historically, right? Mm-hmm. What does it mean to you? Why do you wanna say it so bad? Let riddle me this. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Why are you so desperate to say something horrifically racist, homophobic, whatever, sexist.

Mm-hmm. Like that says something about you, like the fact that you're fighting so hard to have the right to be terrible. Mm-hmm. Like, that makes me think you have an issue. Mm-hmm. Rather than me thinking we need to change the rules for other groups, because again, it's like, what does the joke mean to you and why do you find it funny?

Mm-hmm. That's a big one.

Speaker 2: I actually think this is a perfect lead into the clip that you haven't seen yet. Oh. This is a, a, a just one of those sweet spot videos where a guy is not only being sexist, not only is he [00:22:00] being racist, but also confidently basically, that everyone agrees with him in the, in the room with this racist and sexist belief.

And, and even when people push against him. He's laughing at like, you're fucking lying. 'cause, and so I feel like this is something that happens when you're in this insulated community of only other people. You think you're in a

Speaker: silo and you're not, you

Speaker 2: think you're in a silo and then you're like, well, I mean, no one's ever disagreed with this before.

Of my other racist sex friends. They also believe these things. So clearly the world must, so, um, it's a, it's a, it's about a minute long clip. I'm going to let let you hear what he has to say.

Speaker: I'm gonna hate it. Mm-hmm. I already know I'm gonna hate it for two reasons. One, I see whatever in the background.

So I know this is from the whatever podcast. Mm-hmm. And I'm not indifferent. I don't feel whatever about it at all.

Speaker 5: No.

Speaker: Also, the thumbnail they've chosen to use is a woman who is larger [00:23:00] chested with her shirt. Barely existing yet. She does not appear to be the main character at all and they just seem to relate.

I don't

Speaker 2: even think she says a word in this clip. I think that was clearly they just to sexualize her. Yeah.

Speaker 8: Mm. Okay. I'm Taylor. I'm 18. I'm from Northern California and I'm a helicopter mechanic.

Speaker 9: Am I the only one that's scary as hell? You are working on helicopters and we're just not gonna make that a big deal.

I mean, I don't want them, I mean, flying them is bad enough. You are working on them. Is that real?

Speaker 8: Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 9: Is your dad like a mechanic

Speaker 8: or

Speaker 9: something?

Speaker 8: My dad actually used to work there,

Speaker 9: but Okay. See, that kind of makes me feel a little better because I'm a pimp on a blunt, I go on helicopters and I You don't, no offense.

I mean, I'm just saying I don't want a female pilot much less a female mechanic. I haven't even thought about that later of it. Well, come on, you guys like, want you guys like female pilots? Listen, let's just be real for a second. You guys, when you walk on the plane, you don't feel a little better when it's a white guy compared to like a woman that could be on her cycle and you know, or just, just got dump by her boyfriend is emotional too.

No, we did not [00:24:00] have her period. Okay. I prefer

Speaker 10: flying the airplane myself. Yeah.

Speaker 9: Do you have a pilot license?

Speaker 10: Yeah, I'm getting it. Do you? Yeah. Oh, cool. That's so cool. Actually, my pilot on my way to LA was a woman. And you

Speaker 9: were scared to death the whole time? I was not literally, but I remember meant that I was surprised.

I did surprised. Look at that because that's just your natural inclination. Well, but what I'm saying is like there are things that women can do better than men in those things. Men can do better than women. And I think flying or driving a car, I mean, could you imagine getting on a plane and the, it's a Chinese woman.

I would not get on the plane. I mean, you know what I mean? A Chinese woman can't even drive a damn car.

Speaker: The amount of whiteness and, and teeth. In this video Yeah. Is absurd. I can't describe if you're watching YouTube, you know, but it is like the whitest people, you know, like the o the CEOs of the mayonnaise factory.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: At a table. If you

Speaker 2: put ai, if you put it ai. White man.

Speaker: White politician, actually. Yeah. Actually he doesn't, he looks like a white [00:25:00] pastor who's trying to take a swing at being the mayor.

Speaker 2: Like a stereotype of what you would think of, like when you think of the evil,

Speaker: you know what it is. It's the guy who knows there's a shark in the waters, but doesn't wanna close the beach.

That's what the vibes this man is giving. And they're just like, I, oh, there's something about the way that when white people are being awful, and I am white, we know this. Mm-hmm. Show their teeth

Speaker 7: what?

Show their teeth. They're like, mm. So the thing about that is I wanna make this return when I don't have a receipt. Like it's just, it's so much

Speaker: gum and teeth and mouth and no class and all audacity. That is what you see in this video. But this older, this, this white woman, maybe she's not older, I don't know.

And this horrible dude are just grinning when they're talking about the Chinese pilot, the imaginary Chinese woman pilot.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Oh my [00:26:00] God. Just go, Ugh.

Speaker 2: You can tell it's fucked up what he's saying when even the host of the podcast, who is. A shithead is like, you could tell he is, you could tell he's like, I'm not gonna,

Speaker: he didn't say anything I anything.

He had these rose color, literally rose colored glasses. And he is just sitting there in his weird little suit outfit

Speaker 2: and he is making a face like, I'm not gonna say anything, but I am gonna put this on my show. And I did invite this guy on and I probably know this is exactly what his shtick is. Uh, 'cause he has that other dip shit on all the time that makes these horrific comments.

Speaker: I, I guess I'm always shocked at the audacity of a mediocre white man mm-hmm. To speak that way. Like there's, there's literally nothing about him that is unique or interesting.

Speaker 6: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: He just hates women and other race. That's like, I honestly feel like when men don't have anything to say or aren't interesting, they just go sexist or racist because mm-hmm.

They're like, somebody will laugh at [00:27:00] that.

Speaker 2: It's the confidence in, in how he's like, first off, saying like, I feel so uncomfortable with a woman being my mechanic. He's, he calls himself a pimp on a blimp.

Speaker: I forgot about that. Did hear, I was like, bro, you have not had sex in the past three years. Please. And

Speaker 2: the, the fact that he's like, and he's like, hold, and he, and you could say, he is like, no, every, you all believe this.

Right? And he, and when he gets the negative, the then like, no. He is like, and the, the, the woman that's talking to him though, does that thing where, that I pisses me off so much. Where, where they're like, I, she, you could tell she disagrees with him, but she doesn't want to say you're wrong because she wants to keep the, she's like, she's, she's like, well, but I mean, I know we agree about in general, about racism, about structural.

I know that I like you, like it feel like I, like I want you to like me. I want you to pick me. Yeah. Right. And, and, and like to, I don't want you to dislike me. I don't wanna [00:28:00] push against you,

Speaker: Jessica. Let's be honest. Mm-hmm. Any woman on this show who is not coming to fight these men. Is a pick me type of person because they are willing to sit there and listen to some of the most horrendous things caught on podcast or on video.

Mm-hmm. And. Just smile and be like, yeah, because you, I, I do not believe you would do that for any other reason than you are willing to sacrifice any sisterhood to other women out there and I guess any other race now. Mm-hmm. You're willing to sacrifice all that for a little bit of fame, a little bit of money and a, a seat at the worst table imaginable.

Like, I, you couldn't pay me to sit there.

Speaker 2: Yeah. I've seen people go on before that, that you could tell. I think they went on thinking, this'll be stupid. This'll be like, I, they've seen clips of the show thinking, yeah, I'll go on. This'll be like, and they, there've been women that have left cr like gotten like, gotten so upset, like left crying left up.

I've seen mult like throughout the years even and 'cause I think it's, [00:29:00] part of it is like you, when you only, it's kinda like thinking Matt Rife is funny because you saw his audience clips online and then showing up for the whole thing and being like. What the fuck is this? I think that's a very similar thing.

They know walking in, there's gonna be some shitty takes on this, but if they've only seen the viral clips mm-hmm. They probably don't know the level of depravity of the show will, will often go to the, the degradation that is so key to what they say in this.

Speaker: There is a woman, I can't remember her name right now, so I'll just tell the story, but I, I believe she was the OnlyFans model and like she went on the show and they were horrible to her.

Mm-hmm. Not this show, a different show. I, I think it was, uh, like a British show. Mm-hmm. And just degraded her, disrespected her, and she. You know, came out after and was like, I had no idea that's what was gonna happen. They were so nice. Mm-hmm. Before it started. Mm-hmm. And they were nice after.

Speaker 2: And I think that's what happens.

Speaker: Yeah. I think [00:30:00] they, mm-hmm. I think they present. 'cause that's the thing, most of these guys are horrible. Mm-hmm. But they are performatively horrible to make money like it's a facade. Mm-hmm. They're putting forth this horrific like mm-hmm. Persona. Mm-hmm. To make money. Mm-hmm. And so I have no doubts. They are not so as awful.

I mean, they're as awful, but they aren't as outwardly awful. Mm-hmm. Before and after. I mean, these dudes will try and sleep with the women that they degrade. Mm-hmm. Like, they'll have them on their show, tear them to shreds, and then be in their dms.

Speaker 2: I think that's the strategy though. They wanna make them, it's a power move.

Right. They're trying, they're nagging them. They're, they're trying like, hey, because it's right after, you know, after the show, they're like, Hey, do you wanna hang out? Do you wanna go blah, blah, blah?

Speaker: Hell no. Mm-hmm. Wouldn't be on the show. But, uh, it's, it's, it's wild to me. And like, it's also so boring. It's so tired.

Mm-hmm. It's like, dude. Mm-hmm. At least have an original thought. Like, I'm not down for any of these thoughts, but like, he's just like [00:31:00] word vomiting. The things I can read on my, you know. Red thinking uncle's Facebook. Mm-hmm. Like the, it's like my uncle, my weird uncle's Facebook memes just regurgitate from this man's mouth, like mm-hmm.

He starts with the plane, then he goes to driving. 'cause women, women can't drive. Mm-hmm. And then he has to bring in Asian women. Makes a period joke. Asian women as well. Oh, he does make a period joke. Asian women really can't drive. And then he's gotta mention he's a pimp. Mm-hmm. Like, do you think you're cool sitting at this table calling yourself a pimp on a blimp?

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. I

Speaker: don't, I don't think you're cool.

Speaker 2: Even statistically wise. Most, uh, road rage incidents most, uh, violent accidents from like, and we're talking about the ones. People die. The vast majority are, are from men. Like Mo it's actually, it's there. But the women

Speaker: caused that, obviously, Chester, of course,

Speaker 2: of course, of course.

Even when it's all men hitting another man in the, uh, it was, it must have been a woman slow. It was a woman in the back slow. It's something like that. Yeah. Like there's more, [00:32:00] statistically more women are in more fender beers, like in, in minor accidents, but men are like, it's, and it's close. It's like 55% to 45% or something like, something like that.

Mm-hmm. But when it comes to the actual, um, road rage incidents or like ones that actually lead to violent, uh, outcomes or were mm-hmm. Like large crashes, it's some like 70 to 80%. I don't remember the exact stats. Somebody can fact check this out, but I made a video about it a long time ago that broke down the stats about it.

It's not even close. So when they try to say like, why I'd much prefer a, a, a, well, a male. Pilot. Right. Or a male driver. It's like, it's not, if you wanna be safe, you don't wanna prefer that. 'cause I, unless you know that this isn't one of those guys that gets really pissed or he is not having a bad day.

Right.

Speaker: You know what's crazy? I, so I do a lot of driving, um mm-hmm. For acting. I'm always driving different places. Um, so I'm on the road a lot. The amount of times, like I'm a very, I, I think I'm a good driver. I'm a careful driver. [00:33:00] Mm-hmm. The amount of times that men have gotten mad at me for, I, I honestly don't even know half the time.

Mm-hmm. Like, I don't know, like some, like sometimes it can be that there's traffic period. The other day I was, um, I think this was last week, I had like a five hour car drive. Mm-hmm. And this guy. Was like two cars behind me, and then he like whips around and gets off on an exit. Mm-hmm. So we're not even going in the same direction, but because we're, we're like, we're parallel for a little bit mm-hmm.

As he's like taking this like long kind of exit thing and he just slams his middle finger into the window. Mm-hmm. And he holds it for some time. Like, I look back, I checked and looked back again. He was still holding it. It was like two solid minutes. I still don't know what he was mad about or why I was the one that he was mad at.

Mm-hmm. I don't know if he saw I was a woman in the guy. He's like her. I don't care about all the other vehicles, it's her. But like, he held that middle finger. I've been [00:34:00] flicked off so many times. Mm-hmm. And it's like mm-hmm. What is wrong with you? Like, who was that for? Like what, like, you just held it in the window.

Like, I know your arm was getting tired, buddy. Mm-hmm. Like what was, like, what was that about? It's crazy. The road rage.

Speaker 2: I don't think a lot of guys realize how different it is to be a driver as a woman, as opposed to being, uh, a man. I, my, my wife is actually a much more aggressive driver in a good way than I am.

I am such a safe driver. Like I, I am. It's just ever, I got in a head on collision when I was 21, um, from Hydroplaning. It wasn't like I didn't do anything bad, but ever since then, I've become like the most aggressively safe driver where I, I have all the, the spacing, everything. I don't tailgate. I have, I'm very careful changing lens, everything like, so I am not.

What would like, people don't like driving behind me because of the fact that I don't, I just kind of, I'm like happy just being alive, being safe road. I'm doing my safe driving. Um, I never get flipped off. I never get yelled at, I never get cut off. I ne [00:35:00] like, almost, I, I, and I can count on one hand the amount of times that's happened my entire life.

Right. My wife on the other hand, who is actually much more aggressive in a, like I said, in a positive way, where she drives better, uh, um, has gotten, has had the, the gotten brake checked, has had people drive up next to her screaming at her. The, the flipping off and everything. It's the second these aggressive dudes that are really like, I'm not gonna say words, just dicks.

So I don't know a word I'm gonna say like, these, these guys that are these fragile, masculine, what were you gonna say besides that? I don't know what I was gonna call them. I was trying to think of something like,

Speaker: if you censored yourself and then said dicks, I shuddered to think what?

Speaker 2: I don't know what I was gonna, I was trying to think of a word that like, I'm like.

I was gonna say like the B word, but I don't, I was like, I don't like saying that word. And so I don't like, like Yeah. Don't insult

Speaker 11: me.

Speaker 2: Yeah. Like I don't, I don't use like in general, I'm like, nah. I was trying to think, what can I say that I was like, that doesn't feel good. Yes. Um, and so I don't even say it jokingly, like it is not something I feel anyways.

Long [00:36:00] story short this dick, but it's, it's these fragile masculine dudes Yes. That, that drive. And they see it's a woman and they're like, oh, this is sick. Because they don't do it to another guy. 'cause they're like, oh, this might, what if he's as as fragile as I am and he might be beat my ass angry back at me.

They, they do it sometimes the other guys. But it's far more common when they see it's a woman. 'cause they're like, oh, well she's not gonna tailgate, she's not gonna try to fight me. She's not, I can safely be a horrific person to this woman. Mm-hmm. Without her doing anything. 'cause because I know that she'll be scared I'm gonna kill her.

Right. Versus if I do it to another man, he might try to kill me. Right. And that's why it's a whole DI didn't realize honestly until like, the amount of stories my wife would tell me. And it never hap never happens when we're in a car together. Right? Mm-hmm. Even if I'm in the passenger seat. Right. Right.

It ne the second something happens, you can tell something gets angry, they see we're together, they drive off. Right. But it's, but she would come home with stories. All the time. [00:37:00] I don't. And when, like, when we started dating, I, in my mind I was like, what? Because I hadn't seen her driving it. I didn't much at that point.

It's like, what are you doing? Like, I was like, you must be the worst driver. Part of me was like, man, I wonder if you're like, are you like a really shitty driver? Like, in turn, like, I never said that, but I'm like, right. I'm like, I'm trying to figure it out. 'cause this is, you know, I'm, I'm a lot, this is 20 years ago at this point.

I didn't even, it didn't even click in my head. And this is such a privileged thing. I, I want to admit, 'cause I think a lot of guys don't even think about it that I, I was like, that doesn't happen to me. So it, it must just be that she's doing something to piss people off. And then it was, I was, and it was very quickly I was like, oh no, I forgot.

Sexism exists. Misogyny exists. We live in a very terrible world where men do that in all other facets of life. Why wouldn't it also happen on the road?

Speaker: What's really fucked up is as a woman driving when a car gets, starts getting weird with you. You're like, is this going to be that he is aggressively [00:38:00] threatening or he's doing something?

Horrifically sexual towards me. Mm-hmm. And I need to deal, like, you like the fact that we live in a world that as the car approaches, I'm like, what's it gonna be? Which is it? It's like mm-hmm. I'm either, I'm in danger either way. Mm-hmm. But like, what type of danger am I in? 'cause I have had, yeah. I don't, I don't even need to discuss that, but I've had like, right, yeah.

Like crimes kind of, uh, driving, but like mm-hmm. And like, it's just annoying shit too. Like con like revving, like, uh, stop, like revving your engine. Like, I'm like, I'm not gonna look at you. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna tell you right now, I have never been more laser focused on this light my life. Mm-hmm. You will not catch me straying these eyes, so stop it.

Mm-hmm. With your little souped up car or whatever you've done to it is worth more than the car, like the car itself. Mm-hmm. Leave me alone. Mm-hmm. I'm not interested, but like, that's, that's how it is. It's like they're either look into, scream at you or mm-hmm. Holler, but no, it's women on

Speaker 2: their [00:39:00] periods, which we gotta be worried about on the road.

Speaker: Are we still like, it's literally the misogynist, comedian playbook? Yeah. It's straight from the mm-hmm. Eighties, maybe seventies, sixties, possibly. Mm-hmm. Like,

Speaker 2: oh boy.

Speaker: You know, women on their periods, like how just have an original thought. Like if you're gonna be horrific, at least be interesting, original, anything.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But they just go on there and unload absolute nonsense like that. Mm-hmm. Like what are you even talking about? Like, oh my, do you know? Like women will be literally bleeding out and having to do their job. I have never gotten, like at work, I have never had something positive happen to me.

Right. And you're not allowed to rage out or cry, whatever this guy thinks. And I don't even know that he thinks that. I think he just like, what's a thing only women have that I can rip on. Mm-hmm. Like, how about no emotional regulation? Mm-hmm. You certainly have that, that one. That's what I'm worried about.

Speaker 2: They don't [00:40:00] realize, I think a lot of guys, 'cause like, especially if you are someone that has, uh, you know, bad headaches or cramping, like, obviously most have some level of that. But like, like without disclosing too much, I know many women that have very bad, uh, cramping and pain. You see a guy with any sort of like headache, right?

That if someone like that, they're dealing with an even a minor injury. If someone. Talks shit to him. The rage that they will be, they will get back the, the anger that they will, how fucking dare you? Like, 'cause they, because there's so much pent up there and they don't understand that, that yet, if you're dealing with cramping, if you're dealing with headaches, if you're dealing with wet, any number of the, the things that can, um, happen from it.

And then also then they have to deal with your bullshit, like your anger. Of course. They're like, yeah, women are so mean when they're on their, no, you're just not, you're just an uncaring asshole who doesn't realize that when someone's dealing with something, maybe you need to adjust also [00:41:00] how you're treating them and how you're talking to them.

In the same way that if it was another man, they would understand that, oh no, he just, he's dealing with a, an injury

Speaker: I an injury from, from high school. Um, I often think about like. If men were sat down and like doctor comes in mm-hmm. And they're like, Hey, I don't know how to tell you this, but, um, you are absolutely gonna be bleeding from your privates, like screaming, throwing things, what's happening?

They're like, well, it's gonna be every month for about a week. Mm-hmm. Sometimes your stomach is gonna hurt so bad, you feel like you're gonna be physically ill. Mm-hmm. Uh, you might get physically ill. Mm-hmm. You're gonna get like headaches and the amount of blood loss, you might actually get a little faint with it.

Mm-hmm. Like you're, that's how much blood's coming out of your private, like no way they mm-hmm. Could you imagine how they would respond? They'd be like, I can never work again. Mm-hmm. I have to call out for the rest of my life. I

Speaker 2: do need a week off. That's my week off. Yeah.

Speaker: Mm-hmm. Yeah. They're like, like, I can't imagine.[00:42:00]

How they would respond if they were given that. And like women are just expected to be like, yeah, don't even, but also don't tell us about your tampons 'cause those are gross. Don't let us see them. Right. Do do tampon drug deals.

Speaker 2: Yeah. When she brings up the, the, this idea of men are on a cycle as well, he writes it off completely as like, no, men are never, we are com men are never angry.

He's like, how fucking dare you? I mean like the amount of anger that was. Mm-hmm. And he was laughing about it. But there was also that me that moment of like, careful with how you respond to me. That that weird. Yeah. Right. Kind of like. Like, he was like, I need you to be clear. That's not true. Tell me that's not true right now.

Speaker: Yeah. Well, and then she's the, she's your pilot. She's getting mm-hmm. Her pilot's license. Mm-hmm. And he did, he did not wanna talk about that. Mm-hmm. He was like, like, no.

Speaker 2: When the reality is, and this comes from anything, if you're talking about doctors, pilots, et cetera, the amount of structural things you have had to overcome, right?[00:43:00]

If you are a woman, if you're a woman of color, especially like if I have a black woman come into my room as my doctor, I know I'm safe. Right? Yeah. I you have had to, you have had to be twice as good in most of your classes. You have had to overcome with so many of your, your higher ups, writing off what you're doing and having to overcome all of these fucking structural mm-hmm.

Shit that they, that they don't want to admit exists to still then achieve and become where you are. You know your shit, right? You're, you're going to be better than the guy that always was given the benefit of the, of the doubt that always had everything handed to him, um, throughout there

Speaker: when he literally was like, oh, was your dad a mechanic?

Okay, now I feel safer. It's like. You are just being sexist. That doesn't even make any sense. Right? It was like, oh, somehow that, what are you talking about? Yeah. It's not like genetic.

Speaker 2: Yeah. Like, oh, I, I have the mechanics

Speaker: gene.

Speaker 2: That's, I didn't, I didn't realize that. So it's kinda like your dad's, your dad's kind of my mechanic.

Even though it's you doing [00:44:00] it. Yeah. It's really. It's really him. He works

Speaker 11: through

Speaker 2: you. He's, yeah. Yeah. He taught you. Okay, I get it. Yeah. You had a male. I was worried you also had a female teacher that taught you how to be a mechanic. Yeah. That, ugh. What am I gonna do that I'm dead? It's like when, um, what's his face?

Uh uh Was it Ben Shapiro or Matt? It was someone of those dip shit that was talk, that talked about how they feel uncomfortable when they about a black woman doctor. I think it was like, there was an example, it was a pilot or whatever it was one of those, I made a response video to it. It was either a pilot, probably Ben Shapiro was one, one of these things.

Um, and I was like, no, you're just fucking racist. That's all it is. You're just sexist. Like there's, yeah, and, and I don't, it's, this is, this shouldn't be like, not to toot my own horn, but I've never felt that way because I haven't, because I'm not a fucking horrific person. Right. Like, I don't, there's never in my mind if I walked in and see the female pilot and been like.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh my God, oh my God, I need to get another plane. I need to get off this plane. Never. There's nothing. [00:45:00] Nothing in my head has been because, and that's not a flex. That just means I'm not a horrific person.

Speaker: I honestly feel like. These men are completely the ones that act like this, have no emotional regulation.

They have all these pent up like horrible thoughts, horrible emotions. They have nowhere for them to go because they're not going to therapy clearly. They're probably not talking to their wives. Their friendships are not deep and emotional 'cause they can't be, you know, vulnerable with other men, God forbid.

So they just have this like swirling death spiral of all these emotions and they are just. Constantly looking for a woman anywhere to just hurl them at like mm-hmm. I think there is a sense of relief that like, okay, I have an excuse to be horrible towards this person. Mm-hmm. Like, I guarantee you when there's road rage and they, they pull up and they see a woman, they're like, yes.

Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: I knew it was a woman. I hate whatever. Like, women are bad drivers. Mm-hmm. It's like they just [00:46:00] need something to hurl it at that they can feel justified about. Mm-hmm. That, that doesn't, doesn't turn back into like, oh, you actually just can't control your own emotions. That's what the problem is.

Mm-hmm. No, it has to be this external thing that's causing you to act like an asshole. You're not an asshole.

Speaker 6: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: It's just, there's a woman pilot today. Mm-hmm. So that's why you're berating the flight attendant like. Please, please. They're constantly

Speaker 2: seeking out a safe space to be a jerk, right? Yeah. As,

Speaker: as a sexist, safe reason to do that.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: Well, I mean, to your point you brought up even a while back too, like you see this all the time in pop culture, like where people get so excited, and I've said this before, but like where they get so excited when there's a socially acceptable time to be sexist or racist or homophobic. It's when somebody that they don't like a group that they are taught that they, they, they know and it's especially, and you see it all the time.

This is not a political thing [00:47:00] either. 'cause you see people that are on the surface very much saying the right things, but then, oh, here's my chance. Right? I get to say the most depraved, sexist, racist, whatever, shit.

Speaker 5: Yep.

Speaker 2: Because it's allowed, because this is, because this is, everyone agrees. This is a shitty person, so as long as I say I focus it on them, I can say it.

And then you look at their page, they've never made a post about anyone else, ever. Right. They're, they make cooking content, right? It's like, yeah. But they're like, well, I just felt, but this was, this was the time where it felt like I needed to let everyone know how I felt about Amber heard. Right. Even though I've never made a single comment about anything in pop culture or politics ever.

Let's talk about her for an hour on this. Or let's talk about ex and you see it like that. That's just, I think that was one of the bigger examples, uh, in recent memory. But you see it all the time.

Speaker: I just did a [00:48:00] video about Jelly Roll because, um, him and Bunny Exo are I, I don't know. Mm-hmm. I think she might have a book coming out.

I dunno. But all of a sudden they are just really doing a lot of interviews about the time that he cheated on her and. What I thought was very interesting was that like they were in a somewhat open relationship. She had said, we can bring in a third.

Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Like, we can make this work if you want to bring someone else in.

And instead he cheated, didn't tell her. Mm-hmm. Got with his ex for over a year and gaslit her by her own accord. Like, and they kind of push themselves as like this true love couple, this great couple. Mm-hmm. I'm not into struggle, love. I don't love that. Anyways, I was just addressing like. Some of those issues.

Speaker 6: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: And the amount of fat phobia. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 6: I was, that was the next thing I was gonna bring up that came out. Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Because I'm like, I'm not, I, I, I'm not engaging with that. I'm not into that. [00:49:00] Mm-hmm.

Speaker 5: Um,

Speaker: the thing that sucks is the way he treated her, the things that sucks mm-hmm. Is he betrayed her.

Mm-hmm. That's the bad thing about him. But out, you know, men are doing it, women are doing it. Mm-hmm. And it's just like, like just really fat phobic. Mm-hmm. Uh, you see it all the time, dis. Mm-hmm. I don't know, like insults just gross. And I'm like, that's not the problem. Mm-hmm. It, his weight has nothing to do with it.

Right. And you know, of course they have a problem with, she's. Uh, traditionally attractive, I think, and he mm-hmm. You know, he was more heavyset. It's like all this shit that I'm like, mm-hmm. Did you just wanna come in here and say fat phobic shit? Because that's not what my page is. Like, I don't like this man.

I don't even, yeah. I don't like his views. He's, he's a Trumper, I'm not down for him. I'm not down for fat phobia. I don't care who it is. Like, I'm not that type of person where it's like, I, like if we don't like someone, this is a safe space. No, it's actually not. Mm-hmm. I will defend and I have defended people.

Speaker 2: Right.

Speaker: Even if I don't get along with them, like, don't say fucked up shit. [00:50:00] Basically

Speaker 2: because it's, 'cause jelly rule's not gonna see your comment, but the somebody else that is like. With his body shape or this also, and there is, is reading it and seeing how you actually feel about people, about what you're thinking on the inside when you see them.

Speaker: That's exactly it.

Speaker 2: You see it with, uh, Caitlyn Jenner, uh, where people are like, sweet. I can misgender, uh, Caitlyn Jenner.

Speaker 11: Oh, I, yeah, I've made videos about

Speaker 2: that in the past where I'm, I'm like, no, you can't like it. It's, I fucking hate Caitlyn. Or like, she, she's the worst is terrible. She is absolutely worst.

She hates trans people. I know oddly, you know, like she pushes all this stuff that's open self-loathing, yet I still, I don't need to misgender her to critique all the horrible things that she says. Right. That doesn't change. She is, she is a horrible person regardless. And what I am doing when I misgender someone is, is, is admitting that there's a line you can cross where I decide to no [00:51:00] longer respect, uh, your, your, your gender.

That I no longer believe like this. You better stay on my good side, or else I'm gonna say I can do that to you too.

Speaker: It sets a precedence that mm-hmm. Your personhood can be revoked mm-hmm. If we disagree. Mm-hmm. And that is entirely fucked up. Right. And if you do the, like, no trans person should ever feel like that.

Mm-hmm. Like I, I have had people because I'm a member of the queer community mm-hmm. Like who? Trans people who have wronged me in some way that I'm no longer close with. If someone misgenders them, and this has happened before, it was not on purpose, it was an accident. Mm-hmm. Um, but I corrected that. And do I have any good feelings towards this person?

No, but you're not gonna misgender somebody. Mm-hmm. It has nothing to do with them being good or bad. I, I like them, I dislike them. It's, do you accept their personhood period.

Speaker 6: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: And it's, it gets really dodgy [00:52:00] when we start revoking people's rights and personhood simply because we disagree. And to me, it's the same thing that we've been talking about this whole episode.

It's like I actually have some fucked up beliefs. Mm-hmm. And I'm just looking for an avenue. I really wanna get this out there. I want a socially acceptable way that I can say these things. And we do see this more on the left because I think in a lot of right spaces, it's, it's acceptable there, you know, like across the board, you're not, probably not gonna get.

In trouble for saying that. Mm-hmm. But in leftist spaces, it's like, once the critique is open

Speaker 6: mm-hmm.

Speaker: Then you start seeing fucked up, you'll start to see, you'll see transphobia, you'll see, you'll see racism, like mm-hmm. That's a big one where I'm like, whoa, that's a micro Oh, absolutely. For sure.

Absolutely. And it's like, I am never gonna be about that. Look at any, because look at any

Speaker 2: Candace Owens, uh, comment section, and you're gonna see a lot of racist people on the left saying some shit.

Speaker: Oh, mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. And, and it's just like, I, I, I need people to [00:53:00] understand that like. I love you. You say this often when we talk about mm-hmm.

This conversation where you talk about like, it's not about the person. Mm-hmm. I mean, obviously you shouldn't do that to the person either. Mm-hmm. But it's about the people reading that. Mm-hmm. It's about, you know, the people who agree with you, who live in a bigger body or mm-hmm. A black person or, or a woman, whatever.

Mm-hmm. Whatever you're being horrible about, they're seeing that too. You're affecting them. Mm-hmm. Like the world is not going to say, oh, just in this case you can be horrible. Mm-hmm. And take away what makes them a human being. That's not how it works. Mm-hmm. You are still being horrible, like. You are just setting the precedence that Yeah, I can if, if you don't do what I say.

Mm-hmm. If you don't do what I like, then I'll be horrible. And that type of conditional relationship with someone or a group of people is really horrifying and is very much a symptom of patriarchy and power.

Speaker 2: [00:54:00] Mm-hmm.

Speaker: And control.

Speaker 2: It's also admitting that this basic level of humanity is in your mind a level of benevolence, right?

Yes, you are. You are. The, the status quo should be that you are not being sexist, that you do not being racist, is not being transphobic, not being queer, phobic, et cetera. Any, any level, any o oic, fat being fat phobic, um, there, that should just be the status quo. But if you're revoking it, you know, then you are admitting, oh, well, well, all right, full, I'm no longer gonna give you the gift.

Of hiding how I really feel about you.

Speaker: This is why I fucking love being on a podcast with you, Checo. 'cause that is exactly the shit, that's the fucking feeling. It is. I, I don't, you maybe have felt it before. I've certainly felt it as a queer person. Mm-hmm. Like someone who's cool, like, you know, someone who seems cool in quotes, right?

Mm-hmm. With you being gay, and then like you have a disagreement with them. Mm-hmm. And you can feel the [00:55:00] tension of them actually wanting to say something. Mm-hmm. Cool. Until it affects me, right? Mm-hmm. Cool. Until it's a problem for me, uh, I, I'm, I'm okay with it. But then the second, like, a queer person does something to them, or, or like making things fair for all.

Mm-hmm. Gives them a little less.

Speaker 6: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: You see this kind of shift in the way that they're talking all of a sudden. And that shit is horrible because it is, to your point, it's like. The undercurrent and the subtext of that is, oh no, I've given you a gift. Mm-hmm. By treating you as an equal. Mm-hmm. This is a ki it's like nice guy shit, you know?

Mm-hmm. I've given you this gift, I can take it away. Mm-hmm. If you're not gonna play by my rules, like this is a plus, I don't even have to do this. And it's very scary for people in marginalized communities to feel that from people know knowing, like. I thought you were just cool with me, but like, is this something where if you don't [00:56:00] like what's happening, which we're seeing now in, in, in droves, it's like all these people who are all about it now, taking a couple steps back because it's not convenient.

Speaker 2: Well, it's kinda like when, I think it's also when, when people don't understand why I, I can say like, oh yeah, I'm, I'm sexist, I'm racist, I'm, I have all these things. Mm-hmm. I'm still, I'm, you're never done with that journey. It's like you, right. You didn't all of a sudden gain the anti-racist card and now you are finished with that journey.

That, that, that being, uh, an ally as a process as opposed to an achievement. Um, and I think the, it's because of the fact if you ever, if, if it takes work, right. If you have to think about it, if it feels mm-hmm. Like you're doing mm-hmm. The good things as opposed to just living in that space, then yeah, you still have more work to do and I think that's a process you will have for any, any good person.

And that regardless of what community you're a part of, that you st you have to continue working at and unpacking and thinking about and reevaluating as the world changes as well. [00:57:00] 'cause at the second you stop doing that, then you fall back into. That the, the group that is, is, is doing the harm. Again,

Speaker: I think one of the things that gets them the most, and, and particularly with, um, like white women and white men, um, which I have learned so much as, as we talk about, like unlearning things and learning things.

Speaker 11: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Um, there's so many, uh, black women, uh, that talk about this concept of, uh, good mm-hmm. Where white women and, and white men, like, there's an obsession with I'm no, I'm, I'm a good person. No, I'm a good, I'm a ni, I'm a good, nice one. Mm-hmm. And so when met with criticism and, and feedback of like, actually that's not good.

Mm-hmm. Like, actually that, that's not nice what you're doing for me. Like that's, that was racist. Mm-hmm. Or that was a microaggression or that made me feel some kind of way, or, Hey, you, you're not thinking about how that affects me or like the context. The difference between how we've [00:58:00] lived, you know?

Mm-hmm. One of those, and they are so obsessed with the need to be good

Speaker 6: mm-hmm. That

Speaker: they then do not actually do the right thing. They don't choose to be right. Mm-hmm. They don't choose to learn because they're so afraid of like, well, I'm not a bad person. Mm-hmm. How dare you call me a bad person? Like, that's always, I've had this happen to me so many times mm-hmm.

Where I like, will try to, uh, critique somebody mm-hmm. And be like, Hey, I don't know if you know how that came off. They're like, mm-hmm. I'm not a bad person. Mm-hmm. I would never, and you're like, whoa. That's not what the argument though, we're not talking about good versus bad word, like talking about just like the facts of the experience.

Speaker 6: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: And I think so many people are like, oh no, if you're gonna make me feel not good. Mm-hmm. If I don't get a high off of this, if I don't feel like a good person mm-hmm. I'm going to revoke this, I'm going to go back. To whatever, whatever seed of privilege I feel comfy in.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. Because

Speaker: I don't like that I'm uncomfortable right now.

Speaker 2: I have a, I have a great example [00:59:00] of that exact thing happening in my dms once this, this is like three years ago. Oh, no. Uh, someone made a, uh, some, someone wrote in my comments, they said, would you date a trans woman? Uh mm-hmm. And, and I was like, I was like, well, first off, I'm married. Right. That was, that was the, I was like, but problem one.

Yeah. I was like, and I answered, honestly, I was like, absolutely. If I was a single guy, that wouldn't be, I wouldn't, that wouldn't be a marker for me. That I was like, sure. Absolutely not. Right. I would absolutely explore. Mm-hmm. Uh, et cetera. And someone DMed me and they were like, you know, you don't have to say that.

And it was a straight, it was a straight woman. And she was like, you could still what She was like, and she was like, you don't have to say that you would like, you don't have, like, you know, that doesn't make you a bad person if you wouldn't. And I was like, well, that wasn't the point of the video. The point of video was just them asking.

But she was, you could tell she was, she was struggling with this. This tension of like, well, no, no, that you, you don't, that you're, you're still a good, I'm still a good person, even though I, I wouldn't date a trans person. Mm-hmm. Right. That [01:00:00] doesn't make me a bad person. I was like, I didn't say anything about whether or not that made you a good or bad person.

I think those terms are, it's not as simple as, as just Right one. You don't just become the, it goes back to the allyship. You didn't get the ally badge, uh, et cetera. But she didn't, and then when I, when I responded, I was like, well, I'm. Being honest. Right. And this, I had another, um, when I made the LaCroix video, uh, the about like sexual, where one of my faves.

Yeah. Uh, which once then goes back to the idea. I, I'm wondering if I am on the demi spectrum, uh, of like, the way I, the more I learn, like learn about it, I think I am, I don't know enough yet to say that, but it, it does, there's a lot of overlap with the way I view, uh, attraction. Yes. Um, but it was somebody that was, they were, they were like, you know, you don't, it was this very similar, like, uh, I don't know why you felt the need to make this video.

I was like, well, first off, someone asked me. It's,

Speaker: first off, I, I find it really scary. Mm-hmm. Those conversations really scare me. Mm-hmm. Um, because I'm like, Ew. Oh God, what is this? Right. [01:01:00] This is what I believe, which is why I said it. The fact that you're trying to bring me into the, like we said, these si like a little silo.

Like, Hey, you're cool. You don't have to perform forever. I think's it's kinda like

Speaker 2: with, with men, we're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's keep the bar. Low here, you're raising the bar a little too. Like you're, you're, you know, we're only supposed to meet this level. This is all we need to do to be a good white or a good man, or a good whatever.

Good. Straight or a good whatever. Insert. Yeah. Uh, it's creepy. It, it's, it's very weird and it happens more often than people realize. Uh, or they're like annoyed by the fact that you're more, uh, like open about something than they are.

Speaker: Yeah. You and I are built the same with like, just logic. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: Like

Speaker: I always get frustrated when people wanna act like.

Oh, well this isn't happening. Like, like these silos aren't happening. People don't have these conversations. Like, especially like the people in the white community. Mm-hmm. But like, men will do it. Women, white women will do it about black women. There's a mm-hmm. There's so much about that, [01:02:00] but it's like, that's bullshit because if you're a part of that group, you've been in a weird situation.

I've been in a room. Mm-hmm. Where there you can feel a tonal shift. Mm-hmm. Where someone says something a little off color, you can feel people testing boundaries where people say things they would normally never say, whether or not you address it or not, I hope you do. Mm-hmm. Would address it. But like, we all know that that shit goes on.

It's so annoying. 'cause so many people be like, that's not happening.

Speaker 6: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: You know, it's hap if you were in the privileged group, you know Exactly. Mm-hmm. You know, it's happening, you know that you have privileges. We see people using them. Like I, it just drives me nuts because I'm like.

Speaker 2: I have a great analogy.

I know you've seen it to like this. 'cause it's so funny that I, I was, this, this is, this is another one from like, we're talking about a lot of stuff. I apparently talked a lot about, like four years ago, remembering old videos

Speaker 11: four years ago.

Speaker 2: Um, where somebody, somebody said, why is it that, I don't remember the exact question, but it was like, why is it that every white person I know has said they've never heard someone, they like say the N word.

[01:03:00] They've never heard someone saying racist or like nobody around them. And the analogy I gave, and this is a true story, is that I used to live, uh, right under, underneath the flight path, right? And, uh, the, and in the beginning it was like definite. It was like the, the, the room shook everything. It was every time a plane went over we would like get ready for it.

But after a while we didn't hear it anymore, right? Mm-hmm. When you're hearing something so much. If you're that, that it becomes background noise, that's what happens. Mm-hmm. And I, I was like, and I was like, do you see the analogy right there? And I think it's because a lot of people are like, well, I don't, people aren't saying it.

No, you're just not noticing it. Right, right. You're, you're in a place of privilege enough to not have to think about it because it didn't affect you personally. And that's, that doesn't make that. Alone doesn't make you a bad person, right? Mm-hmm. But it's the, the, the unwillingness to acknowledge that that stuff still exists and that you may just not be hearing it.

'cause it means you might still have some more work to do. It means you might have [01:04:00] just become accustomed to it. It means you might even agree with it and not realize it. And that's, that's something that's really hard for people to swallow.

Speaker: Yeah. I, I think if you're more concerned about your, your goodness, or your niceness, or being a good person, or I didn't see that, I would stop that.

Mm-hmm. If that is your concern versus the horrific behavior that other people are telling you mm-hmm. They are experiencing, if you are more concerned with keeping your bubble bubbled and feeling good about yourself than you are with true injustice, like, to your point mm-hmm. I think you need to reflect and make some changes because you are not as good of a person as you believe yourself to be if

Speaker 5: mm-hmm.

Speaker: Your identity of good means more than actual good things for everyone.

Speaker 2: I think that's a great ending note for the show today.

Speaker: What a happy peppy show.

Speaker 2: It's a nice light show of, uh, when we cover the spectrum of discriminatory behavior in a society [01:05:00] comedy show label as a comedy,

Speaker: it's because you didn't do any visual pranks.

That's what happened. I didn't

Speaker 2: see That's the pro, that's the problem. If you wanna hear it sets the tone. Reagan and i's private group chat thoughts. Join our Patreon and we do a pre-show. Oh, I was like, of our unfiltered. And that is what we are. We are fully unfiltered on there. Unfortunately, I don't believe we've shared any cancelable takes.

Speaker: I don't think so. Um,

Speaker 2: maybe, maybe some that to we cancel to some groups like,

Speaker: well we just did our, what was our, our, we did our hot takes today. So yeah,

Speaker 2: we did do our hot takes today, so.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: Um, usually probably people, we don't care if they dislike us anyways, like misogynists and.

Speaker 11: They already hate me.

Sorry. The KKK

Speaker 2: hates me.

Um, well thank you all for joining us today. Thank you. Find us online, you guys, for being

Speaker: here. Yeah, I don't normally do the

Speaker 2: ending and I'm like, hey, I know.

Speaker: Hey, bye. Um, [01:06:00] we have the links that with the episode, make sure to check out our socials. As Chesko said, we have our Patreon, chesko and I will be seeing each other next week for the first time.

Mm-hmm. We'll keep you posted on all of that

Speaker 2: in, in person show next week. I mean for us, but I'm so

Speaker: scared. I think it's be insane. Just like, just like no one's gonna understand a word we say just tangent after tangent.

Speaker 2: So like every other show,

Speaker: visual price. Okay, friends, we'll see you next week. Bye.

Speaker 2: Bye.

Love you.