1 00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:11,733 mystic. Sufism is a philosophy that focuses on the  heart, not just the mind. It’s about connecting   2 00:00:11,733 --> 00:00:18,853 with life and the divine through love, awareness,  and presence. He wrote books like the Masnavi and   3 00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:26,613 the Divan-e Shams-e Tabrizi, full of stories and  poems about love, connection, and the human soul.  4 00:00:26,613 --> 00:00:34,373 For Rumi, love starts inside us. Most of the time,  we struggle to love not because love isn’t there,   5 00:00:34,373 --> 00:00:42,533 but because we’ve built walls inside ourselves.  Fear, pride, control, and expectations block   6 00:00:42,533 --> 00:00:50,213 love from flowing naturally. The first step is  to notice these walls and let them go. When we   7 00:00:50,213 --> 00:00:58,213 remove these barriers, love can move freely. Once the walls come down, love opens up in   8 00:00:58,213 --> 00:01:05,173 every part of life. It’s not just about romantic  relationships or special moments. Love becomes the   9 00:01:05,173 --> 00:01:12,613 way we connect with people, with the world, and  with something bigger than ourselves. When we stop   10 00:01:12,613 --> 00:01:20,053 clinging, judging, or trying to control, every  moment becomes a chance to love — a kind word,   11 00:01:20,053 --> 00:01:27,653 a look, a gesture, or even the challenges we  face. Love isn’t something we have to chase.   12 00:01:27,653 --> 00:01:35,573 It’s already there, ready to be felt and lived. Today, we often treat love like a transaction.   13 00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:40,133 We expect it to make us feel  safe, complete, or validated.   14 00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:48,853 But real love doesn’t trap or limit us. True love  frees us and allows those around us to grow too.  15 00:01:48,853 --> 00:01:56,213 And so in this video, we’re going to explore  how to love through the philosophy of Rumi.  16 00:01:56,213 --> 00:02:07,813 1. Begin by Dying Before You Die Rumi says, “Die before you die and be completely   17 00:02:07,813 --> 00:02:16,693 dead. Then do whatever you want. It’s all good.” In Sufism, what we call the ego is known as   18 00:02:16,693 --> 00:02:26,213 nafs - the lower self that clings. It’s that part  of us always saying, “I, me, mine.” It wants to   19 00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:34,613 control, to be right, to be seen. It’s restless,  always comparing, always needing something more.   20 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:40,933 The Sufis call this the lower self because it  keeps us trapped in survival - chasing comfort,   21 00:02:40,933 --> 00:02:47,413 approval, or recognition. But beyond this lower  self, there’s a higher one - the soul, or the   22 00:02:47,413 --> 00:02:55,813 heart - what Sufis call ruh or qalb. This higher  self isn’t separate from the Divine. In Sufism,   23 00:02:55,813 --> 00:03:01,413 the Divine is seen as the sacred pulse of the  universe, a living presence that exists in   24 00:03:01,413 --> 00:03:09,413 everything - the source of life, love, and wisdom.  When we connect to this higher self, we begin to   25 00:03:09,413 --> 00:03:17,653 feel that divine presence within us - the part of  us that’s aware, kind, and capable of real love. 26 00:03:17,653 --> 00:03:23,893 The Sufi path - the path that Rumi walked -  is the transformation of the lower self into   27 00:03:23,893 --> 00:03:30,213 the higher one. It’s not about destroying  who you are, but refining who you are.  28 00:03:30,213 --> 00:03:38,613 The ego blocks love because it separates. It says,  “I'm this identity” “I’m right,” “I’m different,”   29 00:03:38,613 --> 00:03:45,813 “I deserve more.” It builds walls where love  wants to build bridges. As long as we live   30 00:03:45,813 --> 00:03:53,813 trapped in the small self, we can’t experience  the vastness of love that’s trying to reach us.  31 00:03:53,813 --> 00:03:59,973 Rumi learned this through the most powerful  friendship of his life - his meeting with   32 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:07,493 Shams of Tabriz, a wandering mystic who  changed him forever. Before meeting Shams,   33 00:04:07,493 --> 00:04:15,733 Rumi was a scholar - respected, disciplined, and  proud. Then when Shams appeared, everything Rumi   34 00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:23,253 knew was set on fire. He shattered Rumi’s image of  himself. He questioned everything Rumi thought he   35 00:04:23,253 --> 00:04:31,013 knew, burned away his pride, and exposed the  small self hiding behind words and learning.  36 00:04:31,013 --> 00:04:37,893 Through Shams, he saw how his ego stood between  him and the Divine. That breaking burned away his   37 00:04:37,893 --> 00:04:46,293 pride and revealed his heart. Rumi called this  burning fana — the death of the ego — followed   38 00:04:46,293 --> 00:04:53,573 by baqa, living again through love, through  the Divine. Rumi, once a man of reason,   39 00:04:53,573 --> 00:05:02,933 began to speak in poetry and silence. He no longer  preached about God — he felt God in everything. 40 00:05:02,933 --> 00:05:10,213 We too can practice letting go of our ego in our  daily lives, especially in our relationships. When   41 00:05:10,213 --> 00:05:17,253 we argue, when we feel jealous, when we need to  be right — that’s the lower self reacting. It’s   42 00:05:17,253 --> 00:05:25,093 trying to protect its image, to stay in control.  But love asks for something softer. It asks us   43 00:05:25,093 --> 00:05:31,973 to pause, to breathe, to ask — “What part of  me is trying to protect itself right now?”   44 00:05:32,773 --> 00:05:38,453 When we speak from that awareness,  something shifts. The ego wants to win,   45 00:05:38,453 --> 00:05:45,973 but love wants to understand. The ego wants  attention, but love wants to give. The ego says,   46 00:05:45,973 --> 00:05:52,293 “I’ll love you if…” but love says,  “I love you, even through this.”  47 00:05:52,293 --> 00:05:59,093 Small practices help us return to that higher  self. Take a deep breath before you speak in   48 00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:06,693 anger. When you hurt someone, apologize without  defending yourself. Do something kind without   49 00:06:06,693 --> 00:06:15,893 expecting credit. Sit in silence with someone you  care about. Or read a few lines of Rumi together. 50 00:06:15,893 --> 00:06:22,773 2. Lose Yourself in the Dance Rumi writes, “Dance,   51 00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:28,213 when you’re broken open. Dance,  if you’ve torn the bandage off.”  52 00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:34,773 For Rumi, love was never meant to be dissected,  solved, or perfectly understood. It was meant   53 00:06:34,773 --> 00:06:42,933 to be lived — raw, messy, and alive. He often  compared love to a dance. A true dance doesn’t   54 00:06:42,933 --> 00:06:48,613 begin after you’ve figured out every step. It  begins the moment you stop trying to control   55 00:06:48,613 --> 00:06:57,333 it — when you let life’s music move through you. In Sufi practice, this idea isn’t just poetic;   56 00:06:57,333 --> 00:07:03,733 it’s lived. The whirling dervishes, Rumi’s  followers, spun for hours with their eyes   57 00:07:03,733 --> 00:07:11,413 closed and arms open, letting the Divine carry  them. Their turning wasn’t a performance — it   58 00:07:11,413 --> 00:07:18,373 was prayer in motion. In that dance,  the ego loses its grip, the boundaries   59 00:07:18,373 --> 00:07:26,533 of “me” and “you” dissolve, the dancer is no  longer dancing; the dance is dancing them.  60 00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:34,053 Rumi believed that love reveals itself not through  endless thinking, but through presence — through   61 00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:42,213 the courage to step forward without knowing  where it will lead. The ego demands guarantees:   62 00:07:42,213 --> 00:07:49,333 Will this last? Will I be safe? Will it hurt?  But love doesn’t speak that language. Love   63 00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:56,053 speaks in rhythm, not in certainty. It moves  through gestures, through shared silence,   64 00:07:56,053 --> 00:08:02,053 through the way your heart beats a little  faster when you allow yourself to be fully here.  65 00:08:02,053 --> 00:08:08,213 This is where many of us get stuck. We wait  for clarity before we move. We want to know   66 00:08:08,213 --> 00:08:15,893 the outcome before taking the step. But love  doesn’t grow in control — it grows in surrender.   67 00:08:15,893 --> 00:08:23,093 This isn’t about recklessness or ignoring red  flags. Sufis say, “Tie your camel, then trust   68 00:08:23,093 --> 00:08:30,453 in God.” In love, this means grounding yourself in  awareness, while allowing space for what wants to   69 00:08:30,453 --> 00:08:37,573 unfold. You don’t need to analyze every silence  or decode every gesture or message. Instead,   70 00:08:37,573 --> 00:08:45,493 speak honestly. Listen deeply. Meet someone’s  gaze without performing. Dance with life as   71 00:08:45,493 --> 00:08:52,853 it moves — not as you think it should move. If you love someone, express it without waiting   72 00:08:52,853 --> 00:08:58,933 for the perfect moment. If you’re unsure, give  yourself permission to experience the connection   73 00:08:58,933 --> 00:09:06,853 without writing the whole story in advance. Take  walks, share laughter, let your guard down in   74 00:09:06,853 --> 00:09:13,973 small ways. Love will either carry you where  you need to go or teach you what you need to   75 00:09:13,973 --> 00:09:23,333 learn. When you lose yourself in the dance, you  stop fighting life and begin flowing with it. 76 00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:32,293 3. Seek Union, Not Possession Rumi once said, “Lovers don’t finally   77 00:09:32,293 --> 00:09:40,213 meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” For him, love was never about owning someone or   78 00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:48,693 making them yours. It wasn’t about control or  possession. Real love is a quiet recognition — a   79 00:09:48,693 --> 00:09:56,453 connection that already lives between two people.  It isn’t something you win or earn. It grows   80 00:09:56,453 --> 00:10:04,053 naturally when both can simply be themselves,  without trying to shape or fix the other.  81 00:10:04,053 --> 00:10:10,133 But somewhere along the way, many of us  turned love into a transaction. We started   82 00:10:10,133 --> 00:10:17,493 giving with conditions, keeping score, and  measuring its worth by what we get in return.  83 00:10:17,493 --> 00:10:21,973 Sometimes it sounds like — “I’ll love  you if you make me feel special.”  84 00:10:21,973 --> 00:10:25,573 Or, “I’ll give you my time  if you give me security.”  85 00:10:25,573 --> 00:10:29,573 Or, “I’ll be close to you  only when my needs are met.”  86 00:10:29,573 --> 00:10:36,213 Or even, “I’ll stay because of how  this makes me look to the world.”  87 00:10:36,213 --> 00:10:43,333 When love turns into a transaction, it stops  being about connection. We are no longer in   88 00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:49,973 love with the person themselves; we are attached  to what they give us. That’s where fear enters:   89 00:10:49,973 --> 00:10:57,093 fear of losing them, fear of not being enough,  fear of not getting what we want. We cling to the   90 00:10:57,093 --> 00:11:04,933 rewards, not the person, and then the relationship  starts to feel tight, heavy, full of unspoken   91 00:11:04,933 --> 00:11:16,613 expectations. We try to control, we demand,  we monitor. And slowly, love becomes a cage.  92 00:11:16,613 --> 00:11:22,533 Real love was never meant to be a cage.  Love is supposed to make you feel free,   93 00:11:22,533 --> 00:11:31,253 not restricted. This is what Rumi points to when  he speaks of union. Not ownership or control — but   94 00:11:31,253 --> 00:11:38,693 a kind of shared space where love flows between  two individuals who still stand as themselves.   95 00:11:38,693 --> 00:11:46,933 Real love doesn’t erase you. It lets you breathe.  It allows both people to grow, side by side,   96 00:11:46,933 --> 00:11:54,213 without needing to shrink for the other. To love this way is quiet work. It means:  97 00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:58,613 Letting go of the urge to  control how someone loves you. 98 00:11:58,613 --> 00:12:03,493 Finding your worth within yourself, so  you’re not begging love to prove it. 99 00:12:03,493 --> 00:12:08,453 Giving without keeping score,  because real love isn’t a bargain. 100 00:12:08,453 --> 00:12:16,453 Remembering that no one can “complete” you — love  is a reflection of the fullness you already carry. 101 00:12:16,453 --> 00:12:21,413 Helping each other grow instead  of holding each other back. 102 00:12:21,413 --> 00:12:26,613 When you practice love this way, the fear  of losing someone no longer rules your   103 00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:33,333 mind. You stop clinging, stop demanding,  and start truly connecting. Love stops   104 00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:39,973 being something to possess and control — it  becomes something that sets both people free.  105 00:12:39,973 --> 00:12:47,013 Rumi’s words aren’t just poetic lines; they are  a practical guide: “Lovers don’t finally meet   106 00:12:47,013 --> 00:12:54,453 somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” The love you are searching for is actually   107 00:12:54,453 --> 00:13:01,333 something to awaken within yourself and in your  connection with others. And real love — the kind   108 00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:07,973 that lasts — doesn’t make you feel small.  It doesn’t trap or limit. It gives you space   109 00:13:07,973 --> 00:13:16,213 to breathe, to grow, to be fully yourself,  and to feel free alongside another person. 110 00:13:18,373 --> 00:13:21,733 4.Let Pain Be Your Teacher  111 00:13:21,733 --> 00:13:28,533 In the words of Rumi “The wound is  the place where the Light enters you.”  112 00:13:28,533 --> 00:13:34,933 Pain is one of life’s most honest teachers.  It strips away the stories we tell ourselves,   113 00:13:34,933 --> 00:13:41,253 the masks we hide behind, and the illusions  we build for safety. When we face heartbreak,   114 00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:48,853 betrayal, or loss, something inside us cracks  - and through that crack, something true begins   115 00:13:48,853 --> 00:13:56,853 to emerge. Pain reveals what we’ve been avoiding:  our fears, our attachments, the fragile structures   116 00:13:56,853 --> 00:14:03,013 we’ve built around our sense of self. When  everything we’ve leaned on starts to crumble,   117 00:14:03,013 --> 00:14:11,573 what remains is raw, unfiltered, and real. Most of us try to escape pain. We distract   118 00:14:11,573 --> 00:14:19,573 ourselves, keep busy, pretend we’re fine. But  avoiding it doesn’t free us - it keeps us stuck.   119 00:14:19,573 --> 00:14:26,853 Pain has a way of pulling us back to what’s real.  It whispers, “This is where you’re still holding   120 00:14:26,853 --> 00:14:34,133 on. This is where you’re still afraid.” When  we allow ourselves to feel it fully - without   121 00:14:34,133 --> 00:14:41,093 rushing to fix it or numb it - its lessons  begin to unfold. Heartbreak exposes where we   122 00:14:41,093 --> 00:14:48,133 seek completion outside ourselves. Rejection shows  us the insecurities beneath our confidence. Grief   123 00:14:48,133 --> 00:14:55,733 reminds us of the depth of our love. Pain doesn’t  come to destroy us; it comes to wake us up.  124 00:14:55,733 --> 00:15:02,133 True healing begins when we stay with the  pain gently. Sometimes that means sitting in   125 00:15:02,133 --> 00:15:08,373 silence with the ache, writing honestly, or  sharing with someone who truly understands.   126 00:15:08,373 --> 00:15:15,093 Over time, our relationship with discomfort  changes. Instead of running, we begin to meet   127 00:15:15,093 --> 00:15:21,893 it with awareness. Pain’s lessons are  meant to be lived, not just understood.  128 00:15:21,893 --> 00:15:28,933 When his beloved friend and teacher, Shams of  Tabriz, vanished, Rumi was shattered. It wasn’t   129 00:15:28,933 --> 00:15:35,173 just the loss of a friend - it was losing  the mirror through which he saw divine love.   130 00:15:35,173 --> 00:15:41,013 Shams had awakened something sacred in  him. When he disappeared, Rumi was forced   131 00:15:41,013 --> 00:15:49,493 inward. What had once been directed outward  turned into a fire within. Out of that grief,   132 00:15:49,493 --> 00:15:59,813 the scholar became a mystic, the thinker became a  poet. His pain didn’t end him; it transformed him.  133 00:15:59,813 --> 00:16:06,933 What Rumi discovered was that the love he mourned  had never truly left. It wasn’t bound to a single   134 00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:16,533 person - it was the divine flowing through that  person. Shams was a doorway, not the source. When   135 00:16:16,533 --> 00:16:23,653 the doorway closed, Rumi realized the source  lived within him all along. That understanding   136 00:16:23,653 --> 00:16:35,333 became the heartbeat of his poetry: what is real  — love, truth, presence - can never be taken away.  137 00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:41,493 When we glimpse this truth ourselves, we begin  to see that what’s real doesn’t die with change   138 00:16:41,493 --> 00:16:49,413 or loss. It simply shifts its form. And with  that realization, letting go becomes less like   139 00:16:49,413 --> 00:16:57,973 force and more like quiet trust. Pain, in  its own way, frees us. It loosens our grip,   140 00:16:57,973 --> 00:17:05,013 humbles us, and makes us more compassionate —  not just toward ourselves but toward everyone   141 00:17:05,013 --> 00:17:11,813 who carries their own silent wounds. Pain can be a teacher if we change   142 00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:19,813 the question from “Why is this happening to  me?” to “What is this showing me?” Rejection,   143 00:17:19,813 --> 00:17:26,853 for instance, can be unbearable at first. We  question our worth, blame ourselves, ache for   144 00:17:26,853 --> 00:17:34,693 what’s gone. But if we stay with that feeling,  slowly we begin to see the truth beneath it:   145 00:17:34,693 --> 00:17:42,133 the part of us that was seeking love or validation  outside. We realize the love we were chasing was   146 00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:51,013 never out there - it has always been waiting  within. Pain and love are not opposites.   147 00:17:51,013 --> 00:17:59,813 The heart doesn’t break to close - it breaks  to open wider. Each wound lets in more light,   148 00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:09,333 more truth, more understanding. As Rumi said, “The  wound is the place where the Light enters you.”  149 00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:17,573 A part of healing is learning to forgive - both  others and ourselves. Many of us carry hidden   150 00:18:17,573 --> 00:18:23,973 resentment toward our own mistakes. We replay  moments of failure, judge ourselves harshly,   151 00:18:23,973 --> 00:18:33,093 and let shame harden inside us. Rumi reminds us  that true self-love begins with forgiveness. If we   152 00:18:33,093 --> 00:18:41,173 can’t forgive ourselves, our hearts stay locked. Forgiveness isn’t about denying what happened. It   153 00:18:41,173 --> 00:18:48,213 begins with honesty - seeing ourselves clearly.  That means acknowledging the times we’ve fallen   154 00:18:48,213 --> 00:18:55,813 short, not to punish ourselves but to grow  from it. Rumi said, “Be like a tree and let   155 00:18:55,813 --> 00:19:03,653 the dead leaves drop.” We cannot heal if we  keep clutching on to what we should release.  156 00:19:03,653 --> 00:19:09,413 Reflect on where you’ve hurt yourself or  others. Listen to what those moments are   157 00:19:09,413 --> 00:19:16,933 trying to teach you. As Rumi wrote, “Out  beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,   158 00:19:16,933 --> 00:19:27,733 there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” In that  space, self-judgment softens, and growth begins.  159 00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:35,573 Forgiveness isn’t weakness — it’s strength. It  tells your heart, “I am still worthy of love,   160 00:19:35,573 --> 00:19:43,573 even here.” When we forgive others and ourselves,  we free ourselves from shame, resentment, and the   161 00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:52,693 weight of old stories. Love can flow again. Pain cracks us open. Forgiveness clears   162 00:19:52,693 --> 00:19:59,893 the space inside. And through those  cracks and clearings, healing happens. 163 00:19:59,893 --> 00:20:06,533 5. See the Divine in Everything In our final quote from Rumi   164 00:20:06,533 --> 00:20:14,613 for this video, he says, “Wherever you  are, and whatever you do, be in love.”  165 00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:20,613 For Rumi, love was never confined to the bond  between two people. It wasn’t something that   166 00:20:20,613 --> 00:20:27,413 existed only in romance or in moments that felt  extraordinary. Love was a way of seeing - a way   167 00:20:27,413 --> 00:20:34,613 of walking through the world with eyes wide open. When Rumi spoke of the Divine, he didn’t mean   168 00:20:34,613 --> 00:20:41,333 some distant deity locked away in heaven. As  mentioned earlier, The “divine” is the sacred   169 00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:49,013 pulse that lives through everything - the spark  of aliveness that makes the world breathe. Every   170 00:20:49,013 --> 00:20:57,973 tree, every stranger, every breeze that brushes  your skin carries this quiet presence. To him,   171 00:20:57,973 --> 00:21:05,173 nothing was separate from love - everything  was love speaking its own secret language.  172 00:21:05,173 --> 00:21:12,133 Rumi’s own life changed the moment he began to  see the world this way. After Shams disappeared,   173 00:21:12,133 --> 00:21:19,893 Rumi’s love didn’t vanish with him. Instead, it  widened. He realized that what he had loved in   174 00:21:19,893 --> 00:21:27,093 Shams wasn’t a single man, but something far  greater: the divine essence shining through   175 00:21:27,093 --> 00:21:34,453 him. He began to find that same light in the  world around him - in the rustle of leaves, the   176 00:21:34,453 --> 00:21:40,853 laughter of children, the silence of the night. He would wander through the streets of Konya   177 00:21:40,853 --> 00:21:46,853 where he lived, and where others saw only  ordinary scenes - a bird soaring above,   178 00:21:46,853 --> 00:21:53,253 a potter at his wheel, a beggar on the  corner - Rumi saw signs of the Beloved.  179 00:21:53,893 --> 00:22:00,533 This is why his poetry speaks not in  commands, but in wonder. He wanted us   180 00:22:00,533 --> 00:22:07,573 to remember that the world itself is sacred  — not something to conquer or control, but   181 00:22:07,573 --> 00:22:15,333 something to fall in love with, again and again. When we stop waiting for love to arrive through a   182 00:22:15,333 --> 00:22:23,413 single person, one perfect relationship, or a rare  moment of magic, we begin to see how much love is   183 00:22:23,413 --> 00:22:30,453 already here. It’s in a cup of tea on a quiet  morning. In sunlight filtering softly through a   184 00:22:30,453 --> 00:22:38,053 window. In the stranger who smiles without reason. To “see the divine in everything” is to look at   185 00:22:38,053 --> 00:22:46,053 the world as if it’s whispering to you, not with  words, but with presence. When you see life this   186 00:22:46,053 --> 00:22:54,133 way, even the smallest things become sacred. Love is not something to chase.   187 00:22:54,133 --> 00:22:58,613 It’s something to see. It’s already here - in   188 00:22:58,613 --> 00:23:05,733 everything - waiting for you to notice. If you like what we do on this page,   189 00:23:05,733 --> 00:23:10,053 consider becoming a channel member. 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