<v Speaker 1>So I attempted to ghoste you you didn't notice. Hey

<v Speaker 1>I exist. Are you well? First of all, raise your

<v Speaker 1>hand if you needed this video right now, just from

<v Speaker 1>the title alone. As a matter of fact, thumbs up

<v Speaker 1>this video. If you needed to see this right now,

<v Speaker 1>you know, I really feel like this is a timely topic.

<v Speaker 1>Aside from real life inspiration, I actually saw this quote

<v Speaker 1>that said that if you have to cut someone off

<v Speaker 1>in order to provoke them into wanting you or even

<v Speaker 1>demonstrating basic empathy, it is time to opt out. Because

<v Speaker 1>let's be real here. Okay, how many times have we

<v Speaker 1>manipulated a situation to get a fixed outcome or warrant

<v Speaker 1>a certain reaction out of a man before we jump

<v Speaker 1>into these tips? Ah hah, Yeah, you're itching and scratch

<v Speaker 1>because you want to hear it. Uh uh uh, slay

<v Speaker 1>your roll. You better subscribe because I'm not anymore. I'm

<v Speaker 1>not doing this anymore. Subscribe if you haven't already, be

<v Speaker 1>sure to follow me on Instagram. That'll be over here.

<v Speaker 1>Make sure that you are subscribed to my mailing list.

<v Speaker 1>I have really really exciting news on the way for

<v Speaker 1>you guys. A lot of amazing projects coming up soon

<v Speaker 1>that is the best way to stay up to date

<v Speaker 1>and know what's going on with me before it hits

<v Speaker 1>this channel. I also have a monthly newsletter which will

<v Speaker 1>be coming out as well. And the Quality Queen comment

<v Speaker 1>of the day is, hey, Asha, I started watching your

<v Speaker 1>videos about a year ago when I was getting out

<v Speaker 1>of and over a toxic relationship. You have helped me

<v Speaker 1>so much grow as a woman. Recently, I started focusing

<v Speaker 1>less on dating boys and more on improving myself and

<v Speaker 1>my personal development. I love that you started covering these

<v Speaker 1>topics more on your channel. The timing is perfect. You

<v Speaker 1>are literally an inspiration. Ps. I love your makeup in

<v Speaker 1>this video. Oh thank you so much. And yes, I

<v Speaker 1>really do think it's important to have that balance of

<v Speaker 1>knowing when to focus on yourself. Sometimes people like to

<v Speaker 1>circle the drain over and over again, and they are

<v Speaker 1>going insane for a reason. Because you can't keep trying

<v Speaker 1>to escape the lessons that you are supposed to learn

<v Speaker 1>by repeating the same patterns and dealing with the same people.

<v Speaker 1>You have to know when to just actually take the

<v Speaker 1>time to work on yourself and not be a serial monogamist.

<v Speaker 1>And let's get on into this video, so we all

<v Speaker 1>have toxic traits. To be honest, let's acknowledge that rule

<v Speaker 1>of them. And like I said before, we've all have

<v Speaker 1>been guilty of manipulating a certain situation in order to

<v Speaker 1>get a desired outcome. We've all tried different tactics to

<v Speaker 1>cope with rejection or coping with something that we didn't

<v Speaker 1>really like. So, in the spirit of self awareness and

<v Speaker 1>soul work in service of becoming the quality queen that

<v Speaker 1>I know that you are, let's reveal them. Shall we

<v Speaker 1>passive recifocation? Five ways we soothe our ego to cope

<v Speaker 1>with rejection. Number one eliciting responses. Come on, let's be

<v Speaker 1>transparent here. Okay, this is not a video where we're gonna,

<v Speaker 1>you know, play nice tough love today. We've all been

<v Speaker 1>there where we texted a guy we really like because

<v Speaker 1>he's not texting us back, and we assume or we

<v Speaker 1>think that him answering us means that he cares, or

<v Speaker 1>we buy the story of he was too busy, so

<v Speaker 1>we feel inclined to refresh his memory. Hey, I exist,

<v Speaker 1>I'm here. Where have you gone? I'm devastated. Now this

<v Speaker 1>is where it gets tricky. This is a sure way

<v Speaker 1>to getting breadcrumbed where you attempt to get certain responses

<v Speaker 1>on multiple platforms, like responding to a meme or even

<v Speaker 1>sending him a meme, or he actually only responds to

<v Speaker 1>you on social media. He ignores your text, but then

<v Speaker 1>response to your story or looks at your story. That's

<v Speaker 1>essentially where breadcrumbing is. This is a sure way to

<v Speaker 1>get into both a situationship and also a sure way

<v Speaker 1>to be breadcrumbed. That's an example of how you get

<v Speaker 1>into a situationship where you are engaging in passive reciprocation

<v Speaker 1>number two pretending to ghost. Okay, ladies, the gig is up.

<v Speaker 1>So we probably do this a lot more now than

<v Speaker 1>we used to, like in life, because now that we

<v Speaker 1>are a little bit onto the game, the rules have

<v Speaker 1>changed and this is more second nature to men. However,

<v Speaker 1>you have to understand that you cannot use this as

<v Speaker 1>leverage to get a guide back. Yes, exactly what I

<v Speaker 1>just said, because I promise you that's when all the

<v Speaker 1>games will begin. Because in all actuality, disappearing isn't necessarily

<v Speaker 1>a grand act of courage. It's something that we do

<v Speaker 1>when we are not as emotionally mature, or we are

<v Speaker 1>emotionally unavailable. So that's why a lot of the times

<v Speaker 1>guys when they do things like this, being that they

<v Speaker 1>are not usually in touch with their emotions first, like

<v Speaker 1>women are. They do things like ghosts and all these

<v Speaker 1>different disappearing acts and popping up again from the dead.

<v Speaker 1>But as women, we most likely ghost a guy because

<v Speaker 1>we assume that it's gonna make him want us. Or

<v Speaker 1>are we just ghosts in general because we simply weren't

<v Speaker 1>interested guilty anyway, Only ghosts if you are genuinely going

<v Speaker 1>to leave that person. I mean seriously, Only ghosts if

<v Speaker 1>you genuinely have zero intentions of coming back. Because it

<v Speaker 1>sounds like a good idea, but I promise you it's

<v Speaker 1>not effective. Think about why you're in a position in

<v Speaker 1>the first place to feel compelled to warrant that reaction.

<v Speaker 1>And in all actuality, he may not even care enough

<v Speaker 1>to even notice what it is that you're doing anyways,

<v Speaker 1>and that's even more hurtful. Like when you're you can

<v Speaker 1>try to like stick it to them and it's like ah,

<v Speaker 1>and they just they need to really get it. They Okay,

<v Speaker 1>so I attempted to ghost you, you didn't notice. I

<v Speaker 1>am literally disintegrating on a molecular level. I'm that embarrassed.

<v Speaker 1>If the only way that you can get this guy

<v Speaker 1>to care about you or feel like he cares about

<v Speaker 1>you by cutting him off or pretending to disappear for

<v Speaker 1>a while in hopes that it will trigger some sort

<v Speaker 1>of remorse or maybe in turn make him want to

<v Speaker 1>change or finally give you the relationship that you wanted

<v Speaker 1>by him realizing what he missed. You're not going to

<v Speaker 1>get it this way. I hate to be the bar

<v Speaker 1>of bad news, but it's true, and as easy as

<v Speaker 1>it is to say, way easier said than done. Try

<v Speaker 1>your best to not get into the habit of forcing

<v Speaker 1>favorable outcomes because it's all fun in games. Until you

<v Speaker 1>realize that you're circling the drain and you're hitting the

<v Speaker 1>same wall over and over again, you're not making any progress.

<v Speaker 1>If you are going to actually go ghosts, you actually

<v Speaker 1>have to go for men. They are not wired in

<v Speaker 1>the way that they're going to think, Oh my god,

<v Speaker 1>no way, I can't believe I let this girl go.

<v Speaker 1>It doesn't happen, I'm sure. Okay, but for the majority,

<v Speaker 1>he might not even realize you go. Some might not

<v Speaker 1>even bother to contact you, or he might swing back

<v Speaker 1>around a couple months later, Hey, what happened to you?

<v Speaker 1>I kind of just thought you didn't want to talk

<v Speaker 1>And it's like, okay, so you thought I didn't want

<v Speaker 1>to talk to you. You didn't find it weird that

<v Speaker 1>I haven't spoken to you in like four months? Are

<v Speaker 1>you well anyway? Number three attempting to be just friends?

<v Speaker 1>Oh so naive. I've been there, so I'm not even

<v Speaker 1>I'm not even coming at any like that. But listen,

<v Speaker 1>don't try to just be friends with someone because you

<v Speaker 1>absolutely know that they don't want anything more with you.

<v Speaker 1>This is a way to cope with rejection because you

<v Speaker 1>are still soothing your ego by having this individual around,

<v Speaker 1>but you are trying to make it seem like, oh, yeah,

<v Speaker 1>we're just friends. I'm just gonna be friends with him

<v Speaker 1>because I don't even run a relationship anyway. But that's

<v Speaker 1>only because you already know he doesn't want a relationship

<v Speaker 1>with you. I caught you, so essentially it might feel

<v Speaker 1>like a win win, like, yes, I get to be

<v Speaker 1>his friend, and then maybe if we just stay friends,

<v Speaker 1>he's gonna end up falling in love with me and

<v Speaker 1>realize that I'm just so amazing and then he'll just

<v Speaker 1>realize that he doesn't want to just be my friend.

<v Speaker 1>Guys are very perfectly capable of sleeping with their friends.

<v Speaker 1>They do it all the time. In fact, you're probably

<v Speaker 1>the friend he's sleeping with right now. Guys do things

<v Speaker 1>like this all the time. Why do you think there

<v Speaker 1>are a thousand situationships in the world. Why do you

<v Speaker 1>think there are so many friends of benefits in the world,

<v Speaker 1>Because genuinely, guys do sleep with their friends women don't.

<v Speaker 1>We think we do, but we really don't. And if

<v Speaker 1>we're if we are engaging in that type of dynamic,

<v Speaker 1>it's probably because we accepted the fact that it's never

<v Speaker 1>going to be anything more and we're kind of place

<v Speaker 1>holding someone until we meet who we really want to

<v Speaker 1>be with. There are so many it's very multifaceted, so

<v Speaker 1>you never really know what an individual circumstance is. But

<v Speaker 1>I'm guaranteeing you under the age of twenty five, for you,

<v Speaker 1>that's not really the case. More than likely you cannot

<v Speaker 1>handle a dynamic like that even after twenty five. Nobody

<v Speaker 1>really wants to be just friends with somebody that they

<v Speaker 1>are giving their body to, you know, it's just it's

<v Speaker 1>just it's something cookie crumbled. And even if you think

<v Speaker 1>you're okay with the dynamic like that, you're still gonna

<v Speaker 1>want added benefits that sort of align with being in

<v Speaker 1>a relationship. So you may actually think, you know, I

<v Speaker 1>genuinely am not in a position right now where I

<v Speaker 1>want to be in a relationship. And I have this,

<v Speaker 1>you know, a great chemistry with this individual, and so

<v Speaker 1>I don't really see why not. Plus like I already

<v Speaker 1>know him, you know, we've been here already. But then

<v Speaker 1>you're going to want certain things, like you want to

<v Speaker 1>hang out with him, you know, during the week or

<v Speaker 1>like on the weekends, and you're finding that you are

<v Speaker 1>missing that emotional component which a lot of us do need.

<v Speaker 1>And then when you turn around and you realize, oh darn,

<v Speaker 1>I don't really only want to come over at you know,

<v Speaker 1>ten at night, and then I'm literally out of your

<v Speaker 1>house at four am, like, no, I don't want to

<v Speaker 1>do that anymore. And I understand that usually when people

<v Speaker 1>decide that they just want to be your friend, they

<v Speaker 1>mean it. I feel like guys, more than women, have

<v Speaker 1>the capability to look at a woman and know, okay,

<v Speaker 1>this girl is you know, special, doesn't mean they still

<v Speaker 1>won't test you and try to, you know, be basic

<v Speaker 1>with you, but they just know it's an energy that

<v Speaker 1>you embody that they just know you're different. They know

<v Speaker 1>that they probably really do like you and that it

<v Speaker 1>could go beyond what they may have wanted. But they

<v Speaker 1>also have the capability of knowing when I have zero

<v Speaker 1>interest in ever being anything with this you know woman,

<v Speaker 1>And that also depends on whether or not they are

<v Speaker 1>emotionally available. But just know that guys know there is

<v Speaker 1>no timeline when it comes to men. I don't know.

<v Speaker 1>We got to really get that out of our heads

<v Speaker 1>because why is there no timeline when it comes to

<v Speaker 1>MHAs you want to live with me? But when it

<v Speaker 1>comes to anything more serious, we got to wait to

<v Speaker 1>have a conversation. But we didn't have to wait for

<v Speaker 1>you to see me naked. Huh. We have to wait

<v Speaker 1>to have a conversation about what we're doing. But you

<v Speaker 1>want to see me naked? Are you? Well? You need

<v Speaker 1>to get checked out. I'm concerned if you have to

<v Speaker 1>get crafty and cunning manipulative just so that this guy

<v Speaker 1>will stick around, it won't work. Trust and believe me,

<v Speaker 1>you will continue that same pattern in dynamic throughout the

<v Speaker 1>entire situationship, because I can assure you it will never

<v Speaker 1>be an actual relationship. Number four, bending over backwards, always

<v Speaker 1>being super available, bending your schedule around him so that

<v Speaker 1>you don't miss a chance to hang out with him.

<v Speaker 1>And by you doing this and waiting on his beck

<v Speaker 1>and call, essentially you're hoping, oh, he'll see that I'm really,

<v Speaker 1>you know, an amazing girl, and I'm very nice, and

<v Speaker 1>I'm very domestic, Kate, I can't talk, and I'm very domesticated,

<v Speaker 1>and you know what you probably are, But you have

<v Speaker 1>to learn to play your role. You cannot give wifey treatment.

<v Speaker 1>You're cooking, you're cleaning, you're offering everything because you do

<v Speaker 1>like him. And naturally, as women, we are nurturers, so

<v Speaker 1>we are more inclined to, you know, show this nurturing

<v Speaker 1>side of ourselves and kind of you know, take care

<v Speaker 1>of things. It's what we do. But the only thing

<v Speaker 1>that he's benefiting from is your lack of boundaries. You

<v Speaker 1>know how many times we've all been there where we

<v Speaker 1>want to just show a guy all that we have

<v Speaker 1>to offer. We're great cooks, we clean very well, we

<v Speaker 1>keep ourselves together. They're great qualities to have However, everyone

<v Speaker 1>doesn't deserve the chance to see you know that side

<v Speaker 1>of your because half of the time they don't even

<v Speaker 1>really care. I mean, I'm not saying be a slob

<v Speaker 1>or whatever, but the right guy is going to have

<v Speaker 1>the understanding that you may possess those qualities already, and

<v Speaker 1>he understands that he has to earn the right for

<v Speaker 1>you to unleash those things. We do a lot of

<v Speaker 1>these things, We do too much for the wrong people.

<v Speaker 1>I've been there before. I remember one time I dated

<v Speaker 1>this guy and I was thinking, let me just show

<v Speaker 1>him what a great person I am, because he seems

<v Speaker 1>rather jaded. That hasn't changed, and I realized that no

<v Speaker 1>matter how much I'm trying to be as emotionally available

<v Speaker 1>as humanly possible, this person is not opening up. They

<v Speaker 1>still are just very superficial surfacy, and I wasn't getting anywhere,

<v Speaker 1>and me feeling bad and expressing myself emotionally or even

<v Speaker 1>trying to be very helpful, it didn't really go anywhere

<v Speaker 1>because this person and just simply wasn't on that page

<v Speaker 1>and there was nothing that I could do to change that.

<v Speaker 1>If he doesn't want a relationship with you, you're wasting

<v Speaker 1>your time. And I said this in another video of mine,

<v Speaker 1>where anytime a guy says he's not ready for a relationship,

<v Speaker 1>the with you is silent. Yes, it means he's not

<v Speaker 1>ready for a relationship right now with you, because he

<v Speaker 1>will go the next day and lock eyes with someone

<v Speaker 1>and just there's just this instant connection because sometimes energy

<v Speaker 1>is just that, you know, magnetic, and it just draws

<v Speaker 1>you to that individual and you just don't know why.

<v Speaker 1>And guys do this a lot where they'll be wasting

<v Speaker 1>your time for eight years and they'll will meet a

<v Speaker 1>check within a month and just know I want to

<v Speaker 1>marry her. Come on, how does that happen? How come

<v Speaker 1>it took you eight years to hmm, well sort of

<v Speaker 1>kind of not sure. We keep trying, and I just

<v Speaker 1>don't understand what it's not going to work if someone

<v Speaker 1>can't make that decision in at least three months. Yeah,

<v Speaker 1>you thought I was gonna say a year, didn't you?

<v Speaker 1>You thought no, three months. That's how long it takes

<v Speaker 1>to typically kind of get the gist of knowing someone.

<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying no them completely because that takes a

<v Speaker 1>lot longer obviously realistically, but in terms of compatibility that

<v Speaker 1>will give you a you know, a rough estimate of

<v Speaker 1>whether or not you're combouble. And then also in addition

<v Speaker 1>to that, there are people sometimes that we may be

<v Speaker 1>compatible with, but they're not compatible with us. And I

<v Speaker 1>know you're like, that doesn't make sense. And there was

<v Speaker 1>an analogy that I saw that I think this psychologist

<v Speaker 1>named Spirit talked about and she gave the you know,

<v Speaker 1>analogy of think about a square and a circle. So

<v Speaker 1>if let's say you're in your boyfriend is a square

<v Speaker 1>or the guy you're interested in is a square, and

<v Speaker 1>you're the circle, no matter what you do, those four

<v Speaker 1>corners are not going to be fulfilled. So to you,

<v Speaker 1>you could feel like, I love this relationship, this is

<v Speaker 1>a great relationship. But to the guy, it's you know,

<v Speaker 1>who's the square. He just still feels like there are

<v Speaker 1>certain needs that are unmet And no matter how much

<v Speaker 1>you expand the circle, those four corners are still not

<v Speaker 1>going to be touched because no matter what you do

<v Speaker 1>to it, no matter how many times you try to reroute,

<v Speaker 1>it's still not going to fit. What can you do?

<v Speaker 1>It doesn't really take that long for guys to make

<v Speaker 1>a decision on whether or not they actually want to

<v Speaker 1>be with you. I actually am learning that the older

<v Speaker 1>that I become, it does not take that long. And

<v Speaker 1>it just brings me back to this. You are either

<v Speaker 1>being played with or planned with, and there are many

<v Speaker 1>variations of being played Lastly, number five, making excuses for

<v Speaker 1>men no more. This is very, very very popular. This

<v Speaker 1>is what we do when we're trying to cope with rejection,

<v Speaker 1>or we don't realize that we are lowering our standards

<v Speaker 1>so that we meet him where he is, so that

<v Speaker 1>we can feel like this person is fulfilling our needs

<v Speaker 1>more when in fact he just sucks. Yes, he just

<v Speaker 1>sucks like it is what it is. And a lot

<v Speaker 1>of times we do this because it is a form

<v Speaker 1>of coping and it's unfathomable to us the situations that

<v Speaker 1>we find ourselves in. Sometimes you know, it's like the

<v Speaker 1>common sense has left and we need a swift return.

<v Speaker 1>When you like someone, you do have feelings for them

<v Speaker 1>and a desire to bond with that individual. Now, bonding

<v Speaker 1>for women is not solely going to be sexual bonding.

<v Speaker 1>For men, that's a part of bonding from their perspective. However,

<v Speaker 1>if that was really the case, they're surely bonding with

<v Speaker 1>a lot of people. It's nasty. They're bonding with a

<v Speaker 1>lot of different people. So think about that. If a

<v Speaker 1>guy is capable of having these bonds like you know,

<v Speaker 1>like a tree branch, just like reaching out to everyone

<v Speaker 1>all across you know, the country. And we as women

<v Speaker 1>operate differently. Where we need quality time spent with an

<v Speaker 1>individual and really just learning more about them. We unleash,

<v Speaker 1>you know, that curiosity quite soon, and unfortunately, this is

<v Speaker 1>where our judgment gets clouded because of the fact that

<v Speaker 1>when we like someone, we want to bond with them

<v Speaker 1>and we want to spend more time with them, and

<v Speaker 1>this is passive reciprocation at its finest. If you're always

<v Speaker 1>going to be making excuses for why he didn't text you,

<v Speaker 1>why he planned a date and didn't even speak to

<v Speaker 1>you on the day of the date, why he is

<v Speaker 1>always changing his schedule, saying that he wants to meet

<v Speaker 1>you at an appropriate hour, but then magically it always

<v Speaker 1>ends up being after ten pm. Never wants to take

<v Speaker 1>you out to dinner or anything. He's always exhausted and

<v Speaker 1>wants you to just come by his house after work.

<v Speaker 1>All of these things, and you like this guy, so

<v Speaker 1>you're making up excuses. Well, he did tell me he

<v Speaker 1>was busy. I mean, at least he communicated to me

<v Speaker 1>that he's busy. And it's like, guys really make time

<v Speaker 1>for anything that they want, anything that they want. People

<v Speaker 1>make time for what they really actually want. Men get

<v Speaker 1>with who they can and women get with who they want.

<v Speaker 1>So if you're going to be making excuses for him

<v Speaker 1>and making it's so easy to fit into his schedule,

<v Speaker 1>then he's going to think, O perfect, Wow. Anytime I

<v Speaker 1>hit her up, she's going to answer, she's gonna come over,

<v Speaker 1>she's gonna do this, she's gonna do that. And I

<v Speaker 1>don't even have to do anything. There's really not much

<v Speaker 1>to invest in this situation. It's so easy. Why would

<v Speaker 1>a guy shut that option down? Exactly. Men are only

<v Speaker 1>as faithful as their options most of the time, a

<v Speaker 1>lot of the time. So stop assuming that these guys

<v Speaker 1>don't realize how inappropriate their behavior is or was, or

<v Speaker 1>how much they hurt your feelings. They are well aware,

<v Speaker 1>trust me, they are well aware of what it is

<v Speaker 1>that they're doing. They're probably just banking on you not

<v Speaker 1>mentioning it you're feeling uncomfortable to mention it, or maybe

<v Speaker 1>not being able to mention it at all because well,

<v Speaker 1>you're probably not in a relationship with him anyway. The

<v Speaker 1>only time that you actually do have the right to

<v Speaker 1>say something in that regard is when that person can

<v Speaker 1>be held accountable by being your boyfriend more than likely.

<v Speaker 1>And if you genuinely believe that but they don't recognize

<v Speaker 1>what it is that they're doing, then you have no

<v Speaker 1>business trying to be in a relationship or in an

<v Speaker 1>adult relationship dynamic with them. If you genuinely believe all

<v Speaker 1>these excuses that he that he has, why is it

<v Speaker 1>that you're always accommodating yourself for this one individual. This

<v Speaker 1>is why I say keep a roster, because that way

<v Speaker 1>you can't put pressure on one individual to act a

<v Speaker 1>certain way. And I know we always like one guy

<v Speaker 1>more than everybody else, but it's just a safety net

<v Speaker 1>so that you can just sort of when things get

<v Speaker 1>a little sticky and you get a little attached prematurely,

<v Speaker 1>you can maneuver your way, you know, and wiggle your

<v Speaker 1>way out of that sort of, you know, situation, because

<v Speaker 1>you know, ultimately, if it's always one person that you're

<v Speaker 1>going to be, you know, talking to, you're going to

<v Speaker 1>get distracted and it's going to feel like a relationship,

<v Speaker 1>because what are relationships stereotypically monogamous? Okay, they are monogamous.

<v Speaker 1>And if you're going to enter into that being monogamous

<v Speaker 1>with someone that you don't even know what it is

<v Speaker 1>that they're doing, nine times out of ten, every single

<v Speaker 1>person that you're talking to, especially in the beginning, it's

<v Speaker 1>talking to someone else. I promise you there usually is.

<v Speaker 1>I've never seen an instance where that has not been

<v Speaker 1>the case, unless if I was in high school, where

<v Speaker 1>now you know me being in my twenties, it's like

<v Speaker 1>more than likely that guy is talking to someone else.

<v Speaker 1>So in conclusion, let's just be real. If you find

<v Speaker 1>yourself having to get crafty arts and crafts, you are

<v Speaker 1>playing a game, whether you realize it or not, and

<v Speaker 1>the game will begin. The games will be played. Trust me,

<v Speaker 1>no matter how many times that you try to manipulate

<v Speaker 1>the outcome, you will keep hitting the same wall. Because

<v Speaker 1>think about a time where someone has liked you and

<v Speaker 1>you didn't feel the same. It doesn't matter what this

<v Speaker 1>person does, come hell or high water, you are just

<v Speaker 1>your feelings are not going to change. And you know,

<v Speaker 1>the older I become, I realized if I always have

<v Speaker 1>to strike up a conversation with this person. I have

<v Speaker 1>to text them first, or I have I have to

<v Speaker 1>get crafty so that they can remember me or notice

<v Speaker 1>me or miss me. I have to hold my tongue

<v Speaker 1>because I'm not really sure if I could say this

<v Speaker 1>or that, because I don't know what his reaction is

<v Speaker 1>gonna be. I don't want it. I don't want who

<v Speaker 1>doesn't want me? I don't. I genuinely don't. And it's

<v Speaker 1>a very freeing reality to accept because it's very clear

<v Speaker 1>to me. It's very evident. Now. Some of us like

<v Speaker 1>playing games because we just like playing games. And the

<v Speaker 1>older you are, the better you do get at it,

<v Speaker 1>especially as a woman. But you know, staying on track

<v Speaker 1>here and you know, stereotypically speaking, generalizing, you have to

<v Speaker 1>understand and accept people where they are romantically. Don't try

<v Speaker 1>to stick around because you're hoping it's going to change,

<v Speaker 1>and proving yourself doing all this stuff. It will not work.

<v Speaker 1>I've seen so many situations of guys that have been

<v Speaker 1>with girls, playing up and down with their feelings for

<v Speaker 1>years and years and years and years and years on end,

<v Speaker 1>and you still don't get the guy. What are you doing.

<v Speaker 1>It's embarrassing. Now you got to move on, you really

<v Speaker 1>do you turn around? You're thirty five and you've been

<v Speaker 1>with the same person for twelve years. No ring is

<v Speaker 1>in sight, and it's not coming. It's just not assess

<v Speaker 1>your situation, be realistic and what it is that you

<v Speaker 1>can actually get. So I understand that it feels good

<v Speaker 1>to hang out with this guy, and it feels good

<v Speaker 1>to just text him and just see if he's going

<v Speaker 1>to respond to you. It feels good. I understand that.

<v Speaker 1>But you need to be mature and understanding the evidence

<v Speaker 1>that is presented in front of you, because a lot

<v Speaker 1>of the times, the easiest answer is always the right one.

<v Speaker 1>If we feel confused, any confusion at all, it's because

<v Speaker 1>something is up. You know, a lot of the times

<v Speaker 1>guys they get uncomfortable and sort of have that energy

<v Speaker 1>around them of uncomfortability, and it's going to make you

<v Speaker 1>uncomfortable as well, because they don't feel like they should

<v Speaker 1>be defending something that they don't want to, you know,

<v Speaker 1>simply defend, Oh, where we are you on Thursday? I'm sorry?

<v Speaker 1>Like are you my girlfriend? Like? Why? Oh so I

<v Speaker 1>can't ask you where you were on Thursday? But you

<v Speaker 1>can hit me up on fry expecting me to come

<v Speaker 1>over and get naked, and how make it makes sense?

<v Speaker 1>What am I gaining here? What are you offering? Like,

<v Speaker 1>I really don't understand. I just don't do it. I

<v Speaker 1>don't even I can go on and on. Just don't

<v Speaker 1>do it. We spend way too much time being confused,

<v Speaker 1>way too much time. I'm speaking from experience, way too

<v Speaker 1>much time. It's been two weeks, fourteen days. This guy

<v Speaker 1>texted you two weeks ago and said he wants to

<v Speaker 1>see you soon. It's been fourteen days, so seeing me

<v Speaker 1>soon means fourteen days of not speaking already. We're off

<v Speaker 1>to a bad start because you and I don't define

<v Speaker 1>things nearly in a similar way to me. Soon meant

<v Speaker 1>this week, maybe two or three days for you, two

<v Speaker 1>weeks and I have to strike up a conversation. I'm

<v Speaker 1>not stupid, Okay, you are not stupid, and men wonder

<v Speaker 1>why we get so crafty. Anyway, at the end of

<v Speaker 1>the day, like I said, make sure that you have

<v Speaker 1>a roster so that you can avoid these types of

<v Speaker 1>situations that we tend to put ourselves in when we

<v Speaker 1>like a guy, and guys seem to have a huge

<v Speaker 1>cognitive dissonance. For why women get like this, it's because

<v Speaker 1>you have to consider what you did to warrant this reaction.

<v Speaker 1>You cannot. This is just how women are. This is

<v Speaker 1>just how women function, just like how guys function by

<v Speaker 1>you know, digging their bones whatever they can. This is

<v Speaker 1>just how we are. If we're going to be with someone,

<v Speaker 1>we genuinely want to be with them. And for men,

<v Speaker 1>they don't really understand still the fact that one, there

<v Speaker 1>are so many different types of women these days. You

<v Speaker 1>don't have to lie to get into a girl's pants,

<v Speaker 1>and more than likely, if you find yourself doing that,

<v Speaker 1>it's because you know that in an ordinary circumstance she

<v Speaker 1>wouldn't accept what it is that you're offering. But on

<v Speaker 1>the contrary, a lot of us accept the terms with

<v Speaker 1>the you know, these guys because we're hoping that we

<v Speaker 1>can change it anyway. So to me, it's like, why lie,

<v Speaker 1>Why lie about what it is? Why not just be

<v Speaker 1>extremely upfront. I will never understand that. I will never

<v Speaker 1>understand why there isn't just full transparency. That's just me

<v Speaker 1>and I want to be clear. I always encourage growth

<v Speaker 1>on this channel, but I know you guys message me

<v Speaker 1>plenty of times with not asking for advice on how

<v Speaker 1>to leave, but it's always asking for advice on how

<v Speaker 1>to stay. Or you want me to offer you more

<v Speaker 1>options and give you reasons to stay in your situation.

<v Speaker 1>And I get it, but you have to understand that

<v Speaker 1>in service of getting your hopes up and getting your

<v Speaker 1>feelings hurt, it's not worth it positioning yourself to force

<v Speaker 1>someone to care. Oh, it's just not worth it. They're

<v Speaker 1>like they're never going and making someone want to care

<v Speaker 1>more will actually do the exact opposite. It's actually going

<v Speaker 1>to make them care less, considerably less. All the things

<v Speaker 1>that I mentioned many of us are guilty of, and

<v Speaker 1>we don't realize that when we do these things and

<v Speaker 1>we find ourselves getting crafty, we have a lot of

<v Speaker 1>time for the games the younger that we are, even

<v Speaker 1>in our twenties, But the older that you become, you

<v Speaker 1>don't have time for all of these tricks and games

<v Speaker 1>with these guys. You just don't have the time. Let's

<v Speaker 1>just be fair. If you are over the age of

<v Speaker 1>twenty five, have the understanding that you need to assess

<v Speaker 1>your situation as is, come up with a realistic result,

<v Speaker 1>and not try to get crafty and try to evoke

<v Speaker 1>certain emotions out of you know, this guy, when it's

<v Speaker 1>very clear here that he is not on the same

<v Speaker 1>path as you at this current moment. If you find

<v Speaker 1>yourself having to do any of these things, you've officially

<v Speaker 1>signed up for the games and you're going to get

<v Speaker 1>played or play yourself. And always remember that trying to,

<v Speaker 1>you know, evoke emotion and communication out of an individual

<v Speaker 1>that doesn't care is simply going to be ineffective. So Angels,

<v Speaker 1>that is the end of this video. I hope that

<v Speaker 1>you guys have enjoyed it. Let me know in the

<v Speaker 1>comment section below what other videos you guys would like

<v Speaker 1>to see next. I know we have been enjoying a

<v Speaker 1>lot of topics on discussing personal development, and don't worry,

<v Speaker 1>I have a lot more where that came from. With

<v Speaker 1>that being said, do not forget that I love you

<v Speaker 1>and God loves you, and I will see Angels in

<v Speaker 1>my next video.