>> Julia: Welcome to Things I Wish I Knew, the podcast from

Thinking Faith, a work of the Jesuits in Britain.

I'm Julia. I'm in my early 30s, and I used to live

in a Jesuit young adult community. We all live

hectic lives and often don't get time to reflect

on what's happening both to us and around us.

We've put out 15 episodes this year already, and

so we're taking our moment to stop and reflect. So

work out where we are and where we are going and

where our relationship with God fits into all. So

this week, I'd like to introduce our producer,

Ethel, to join me in the studio as we reflect.

Hello, Ethel.

>> Ethel: Hello, Julia.

>> Julia: How are you?

>> Ethel: It's weird being on this side of the microphone,

but happy to be here.

>> Julia: Great. Well, any initial reflections you want to

start us off with?

>> Ethel: I think for me, one of the things that I've been

thinking about a lot, especially over the last

three weeks, is the fact that we had Sarah sat in

the studio talking about things that she wished

she knew before she got married. And here you are

now a married woman. What's that been like for

you?

>> Julia: It's been kind of a bit of a whirlwind in lots of

ways. Obviously, when we were recording the

episode, as she mentioned, it was early October,

and I got married at the end of October, so we

were having that conversation as I was preparing

very quickly to get very soon afterwards to get

married. yeah, it's been about three weeks now, so

I'm, You're looking at me as I play with my

wedding ring. I'm still definitely playing with my

wedding ring. but, yeah, it's been really lovely.

So I got married. I went to Rome. We got a

blessing from the Pope. We didn't actually get to

meet him, but he was off, as part of the general

audience. And then we've been back, and we've been

now just settling into life post marriage. And so

you might have noticed there were a couple of

questions in Sarah's episodes that were very,

like, practical questions, because at that point I

had quite a lot of, what did you do at this stage?

And what did you do that stage? So, yeah, it was

nice to have her in to talk about it as I was

preparing to get married as well.

>> Ethel: Yeah, that's amazing.

Okay, so what have you been thinking about? When

we look back at the last 15 episodes that we've

done this year? Has anything that's kind of stuck

out or popped out at you?

>> Julia: Yeah, I think one of the things I reflected on is

we obviously had. We've done 15 episodes this

year, and then previously we have done 10

episodes. And in those first 10 episodes, for me,

quite often there was this theme of people saying

that they wish they'd done it sooner. So we had

quite a few episodes, like, for example, Bokani,

where she became an artist, she wished she'd done

it sooner, John Bosco became a Jesuit, et cetera.

But actually, in these last 15 episodes, I think

the thing that's really struck me, not necessarily

in every episode, but nearly every episode, is

that real sense for community. so we had Father

Justin, who kind of kicked off that kind of those

15, talking about loneliness. And so that has a

really obvious need for community. But then

there's been other episodes where it isn't

necessarily like, the first thing. So Andy, he

came on to talk about running. So you don't

necessarily think, oh, that's gonna lead to a

sense of community. But actually, that really came

across to me in the episode.

>> Ethel: It was actually something really special about,

like, it was his community that helped him find

that freedom and that joy in running again and,

like, helped him over the line, which was pretty

incredible.

>> Julia: Yeah. Have you had any initial reactions,

reflections?

>> Ethel: Yeah, I think similar to you as well, this sense

of community. But actually even reflecting on

previous episodes as well, before this year's,

episodes that have been release, there was a lot

this year about how each individual had a sense of

purpose or was searching for that meaning or like,

the. The greater good in everything that they do.

I'm thinking of, like, Edward, who was like, I

feel like I am a man for all, you know, doing

things for the community, being very active or

even when, you know, we spoke with Georgia about

following the will of God and helping young people

interact with God and find community and

connection. So there's something, like, deeper in

that sense of community. Yes. Like what you're

saying. But actually, like, the community is for a

greater sense of good rather than just for myself.

Like, I. I serve a purpose within my community,

and I. I get to actually participate in said

community. So I think that's been quite an

incredible theme that I've kind of sensed, in

everything people have been saying.

>> Julia: Yeah. Because I guess you always. For our

listeners who don't know, you're always sat in the

studio with us. So you get to hear these

conversations.

>> Ethel: Yeah.

>> Julia: But you don't opportunity to jump in and ask

questions in the same way that I get to as well.

>> Ethel: Yeah. And I always find it really fun because,

like, obviously I'll kind of - I, you know,

organise who's coming on the podcast so I get a

sense of how the conversation's gone. But I've

always been so amazed by how I'll be sat there and

be like, this is something I really needed in my

own life. Like, oh, this is a great piece of

advice. Or, like, I don't know how else to

describe them in a very Christianese way, other

than a God moment in so many times where it

genuinely feels like God's like, ah, Ethel, this

is something that you need to, like, look at in

your life, which is quite interesting.

>> Julia: Yeah. I would absolutely agree with that. The

amount of times I'm like, I should have been

taking notes in this episode. I was just thinking

back of Susan's where she talked about friendship.

Yeah. And, at that particular time, I. I really

needed that particular bit of wisdom she shared in

that episode as well. It is really interesting

how, like, God uses those conversations we're part

of for our own lives as well.

>> Ethel: Yeah. And I. I mean, it comes to the whole idea of

what we do here, which is trying to help people

find God in all things. And it's quite exciting,

really, how, like, God is just waiting in every

single conversation and every single, like, moment

of our own lives as well. And I think that's been

quite incredible just to, you know, just sit in my

little corner watching you guys have these

conversations and just seeing God being like, hey,

I'm here too, kind of thing. Yeah.

>> Julia: Ah.

And that kind of also brings me to another thing

that I was reflecting on, which is that God does

things you weren't expecting or planning. I think

that's also a theme that's come across nearly

every episode that we've recorded, that people, if

they'd asked, been asked before, like, the

question of things you wish you knew. If we'd gone

back to that point, they would never have expected

to be in the place that they're in now. But it's

not by their own, like, choosing that they've got

to this place is what God has done for them in

their life that's led them to where they are.

>> Ethel: No 100%. And I guess the thing that I've found

really quite inspiring or helps in those really

hard moments where maybe in that particular moment

it's difficult to see how God is at work

explicitly. Everybody's been like, actually, I

wouldn't go back and say anything to my younger

self. I'll just be like, trust the process. And I

think, like, I've been going through some real

life, like, big adult moments where I'm having to

make big decisions or like, you know, be on my own

for the first time. And I'm having to be like,

God, what do I do? What do I do? And it's like,

no, just trust the process and trust that God's in

it.

>> Julia: And that's really interesting. I'm thinking of

that now, particularly having got married just

recently. There's definitely been times where I've

been in, like, had not great dating experiences.

And at that time I would, would have reflected on,

like, where is this going? And I'm. Am I just

gonna end up on my own? Etc? But now, now that I'm

happily, very happily married, I wouldn't, I

wouldn't have changed it. And my husband and I

have, we've had these conversations where he had

very similar experiences of dating as well. and we

both would have said we wouldn't have changed it

because we're so glad where God has brought us to

now that the journey wasn't easy, but it was worth

it.

>> Ethel: Yeah. And I think it's also interesting that even,

you know, as you say, it's worth it. And it can be

even those moments where you feel like God's led

you somewhere or God's the one who's giving you

that direction or that wisdom. But that doesn't

always mean it's easy either. But like you say,

that's what everyone kept saying, even in those

moments.

>> Julia: It's absolutely worth, definitely is worth it.

And I think one of the other themes that has come

out in, in this latest 15 episodes is about

hearing God. And sometimes that can be quite a

confusing, saying because you're like, what does

that mean, hearing from God? Because, like, the

clouds don't part and God's voice just comes down

a bit like it did for John the Baptist. But I

often find hearing God is in the silence and the

reflection. And actually that was one of the. The

really good things about Ruth's episode is where

she talked us through that. And sometimes hearing

from God isn't hearing his voice directly. It's

also having those conversations with people as

well and hearing them reflecting what you're

hearing as well.

>> Ethel: Yeah.

>> Julia: Because it kind of cements it a bit more.

>> Ethel: And I don't think it came up naturally in

conversation. But Ruth is actually your spiritual

director, right?

>> Julia: Yes, I did. I did spend that whole episode being

like, are, ah, we talking about this? Are we not

talking? And in the end we didn't talk about it.

>> Ethel: But yeah, what Was that like, though having, like,

a very normal conversation about prayer with your

spiritual director, Was there anything that she

said that really surprised you? That were you,

like, actually. Or that you kind of picked up from

your conversations with it? You're like, I'm so

glad that other people get to get this piece of

wisdom from you, Ruth.

>> Julia: Yeah, I think. And, the thing she's definitely

said to me before is when I go, I've not done very

well at praying. She's definitely said, I hear

that, in every conversation. Like. And she said it

in the episode. Everybody seems to be about

prayer. Like, that's every one thing. But actually

it's. It's the intention as well, is important

that you want to. But it's also not judging

yourself on what other people do as well. Yeah, so

I think that was the really key advice that she

hears in spiritual direction, is people saying,

I'm a bad prayer and actually feeling like, you're

the only person who's a bad prayer. Because I'm

not saying everybody's about prayer, but it is a

common theme thing.

>> Ethel: I know I definitely took, like, sort of the wisdom

that she was sharing there about keeping it simple

and keeping it real, but also just being grateful.

And honestly, it's. It's really helped me lately

when sometimes, you know, when your mind is so

full and you're like, I don't know the right words

to say, or I know that I need to give this to God

or pray to God about this, but you're like, oh, I

have no words and I don't know if I'm in the right

place. Headspace wise to be talking to you right

now. But actually when I've started from a place

of gratitude, like, it's really helped in those

moments where I don't feel like I have anything to

say. It's like, actually let me find things which

are obviously there, but. But, like, to be

actually grateful for and just bring that to God

in prayer.

>> Julia: And that's very Ignatian. Like, Ignatian

spirituality, as you would know from our episodes,

that's always our question. And it wasn't in our

first few episodes that we ever recorded because

we didn't get to that. Like, we didn't get to that

stage of realising that. But actually it was when

we were reflecting on it that somebody said, do

you know what you should ask every episode? What

are you grateful for? Because that's one, it's

Ignatian. But two, it's also a really good place

to start prayer. And like, it's to be thankful for

you, the experiences you've had, what you've done.

And when we were saying earlier that people wish

they'd done it sooner or they wouldn't change

their journeys, it's really good to hear that as

well.

>> Ethel: Let me flip the question that you always ask on

people, Julia. What are you grateful for?

>> Julia: Well, can't not say. My husband, but my family. I

actually just always. I spend a lot of time in

gratitude, actually, is one of the things I,

really gained from living in a Jesuit young adult

community is that being grateful and just the

opportunity I had, like, this podcast. I love

presenting this podcast. It gives me such energy,

but it also gives me such an opportunity to

reflect. And as we've already spoken about, that

opportunity to hear God's voice in those

conversations as well, and be like, oh, that's

something I need to think about more or reflect on

or do something about as well. So, yeah, I'm

really grateful. Grateful for. For this

opportunity, but other opportunities, like my. My

other job and my, family, friends, so many things

I'm grateful for.

What are you grateful for?

>> Ethel: Oh, I knew you'd flip it on me. I'm grateful. Do

you know what? And I know it may sound cliche, but

I'm genuinely grateful for the gift of life right

now. Like, you know, there's a lot going on in the

world, and every day I have to remind myself,

ethel, you're alive, and you have. And it was

something that Jean said in the episode recently

where she was like, when you actually stop and

think about it. And I know this may sou coming

from a privileged position, but actually, like, I

have a great life. Like, you know, I have a great

family. Do they drive me crazy sometimes? Yes. But

I love them, and they're there for me, and I've

got a roof over my head, and, you know, I can text

people whenever I want. You know, the Internet is

down right now in this office, but I have a phone.

That means that I can connect to the Internet and

connect to the whole wide world. But even little

things that you. Yeah, I forget sometimes and can

take for granted. I'm just grateful for the gift

of life, and I'm grateful for what we get to do

here. You know, God has been really using this

part podcast to, like, speak into my life, and I

hope it hasn't other people's lives, too.

>> Julia: Yeah, that. And I was just thinking about that,

actually, this started this podcast when I started

about the same time I started dating my my now

husband. I only say current husband. He's my

husband forever. Just to clarify, dating my

husband. And I'm just thinking. Also reflecting on

how my life has changed over the last couple of

years of this podcast as well. So thanks for

listening. Things I Wish I Knew so obviously this

episode has been our reflections, but we would

love to hear yours. So please do get in contact.

You can write to me at jcorcoran@thinkingfaith.org

and you can find out more about these themes we've

discussed today at thinkingfaith.org but you can

also find us on Instagram.

>> Ethel: At TIWIK that's @tiwik_pod.

>> Julia: Thank you again for listening, and I hope you'll

join us next time on Things I Wish I Knew.