Epictetus once said that of one thing

beware Oh ma'am see what is the price at

which you sell your will if you do

nothing else

do not sell your will cheap in the

modern world stoicism is defined as the

endurance of pain or hardship without

the display of feelings and without

complaint but the original philosophy

was more than just an attitude according

to the Stoics everything around us

operates through a web of cause and

effect resulting in the rational

structure of the universe which they

call logos and while we may not have

control over the events that affect us

we do have control over how we approach

things rather than imagining an ideal

society and the Stoics see the world as

it is while pursuing self-improvement

through four cardinal virtues practical

wisdom which is navigating complex

situations with logic information and

calmness courage which is to do the

right thing and facing daily challenges

with clarity and integrity justice in

treating every human being regardless of

his or her stature in life with fairness

and kindness temperance or exercising

moderation and self-control in all

aspects of life

stoicism was an active school of

philosophy for several centuries in

Greece and Rome but as a formal

institution it faded away that said its

influence has continued to inspire

several business leaders politicians and

athletes to this day which is why in

this video we'll be discussing twelve

practical exercises according to the

book how to be a stoic by Massimo

Pigliucci that uses epictetus in Chi

Rhydian which we can use in the modern

world while mastering the force stoic

virtues number one examine your

impressions

Epictetus says so make a practice at

once of saying to every strong

impression an impression is all you are

not the source of the impression then

test and assess it with your criteria

but one primarily asked is this

something that is or is not in my

control by this exercise Epictetus tells

us to constantly examine our impressions

that is our initial reactions to events

people and what we're being told by

stepping back to make room for rational

deliberation avoiding rash emotional

reactions

and asking whether whatever is being

thrown at us is under our control or not

if it is under your control act on it if

it isn't then just ignore it for example

you get stuck in bad traffic and you're

getting late for work of course you

could have done things which were under

your control like pre-empting the

traffic and leaving early but now since

you are stuck in that traffic which is

not under your control you could instead

of being irritated or giving angry just

listen to music keep calm and carry on

number two remind yourself of the

impermanence of things in the words of

epictetus when giving your child or wife

a kiss

repeat to yourself I am kissing a mortal

the truth is change is a universal law

of nature things are changing constantly

life is ephemeral the people we care

about may be snatched from us in a snap

without warning

therefore this exercise is about

reminding ourselves how precious our

loved ones are and that they may soon

flow past let's appreciate what we have

now because it might be gone tomorrow

life is impermanent keep in mind that

you're lucky to be able to enjoy the

things you have and your enjoyment might

end abruptly and you might never be able

to enjoy those things ever again learn

to enjoy stuff and people without

feeling entitled to them without

clinging number-3 the reverse clause

according to Epictetus whenever planning

an action mentally rehearse what the

plan entails it just isn't true the bad

things only happen to bad people good or

bad each of us is going to face certain

situations this exercise is all about

facing these situations with the best of

your abilities while leaving the outcome

to fate let's suppose that you're

considered for a promotion at your job

while we naturally think that our goal

is to get the promotion the outcome of

course is not in our control

it can only be influenced by us so you

need to make your goal something that

actually is in your power and not

something that fate can rob you of which

in this case would be to put together

the best promotion file you can before

the decision is made now you may get the

promotion but there are chances that you

won't the idea is not to absorb the

injustice of not getting a promotion

that was richly deserved

rather it's to employ the wisdom that

sometimes things won't go your way even

if you do your best and regardless of

whether you deserved to get the

promotion or not number four how can I

use virtue here and now

Epictetus informs us for every challenge

remember the resources you have within

you to cope with it according to Stoics

we should use every occasion every

challenge as a way to exercise our

virtue to become a better human being by

constant application going by the

previous example it's very natural for

you to feel upset for not getting a

promotion that you thought you deserved

or being envious of your colleague who

got that promotion instead of you you

might even be angry at your boss for

overlooking you instead by remembering

your overarching goal which is just to

be a decent person who doesn't do

anything that's unvirtuous or that may

compromise your identity or integrity

you can let go of the negative feelings

and take this situation as a learning

curve and look for the ways you could

improve your work performance the truth

is all of us have a lot more

self-control endurance and patience than

we think we do number five pause and

take a deep breath as we learn from the

words of Epictetus remember it's not

enough to be hit or insulted to be

harmed

you must believe that you're being

harmed if someone succeeds in provoking

you realize that your mind is complicit

in the provocation which is why it's

essential that we not respond

impulsively to impressions take a moment

before reacting and you'll find it is

easier to maintain control this is

simple advice and yet it's really

difficult and yet it's very difficult to

pull off it's also it's also very very

important the idea behind this exercise

is to rationally examine our impressions

regardless of whether they're negative

such as insults or positive such as

feelings of lust

we need to resist the impulse to react

immediately in instinctively to

potentially problematic situations

instead we must pause and take a deep

breath perhaps go for a walk around the

block and only then consider the issue

with logic and calmness once you start

seriously practicing this exercise

you'll see a dramatic improvement in the

way you handle

things and you'll inevitably get

positive feedback from all the others

who also see those improvements in you

number six other eyes

according to Epictetus when somebody's

wife or child dies to a man we all

routinely say well that's part of life

but if one of our own families involved

then right away it's poor poor me we

would do better to remember how we react

when a similar loss afflicts others

Epictetus reminds us here of just how

differently we regard an event that has

affected other people when the same

event affects us it's easy for us to be

calm when little inconveniences or even

disasters happen to others rather than

to ourselves for example when your

friend loses or breaks his phone you'll

tell him that it's just a phone and it

can go out and buy a new one but when

you break your phone you'll lose your

calm or even for more grievous matters

like when your friend's wife dies you'd

Consultant by telling in the deaths a

part of life and that she's in a better

place now but when you lose someone of

your own you'll lose all your equanimity

of course losing your phone is not the

same thing as losing your wife but this

exercise is all about understanding that

accidents injuries disease and death are

all unavoidable and while it's

understandable to be distraught over

them we can take comfort in knowing that

they're in the normal order of things

the universe isn't after anyone or at

least isn't after any one of us in

particular number seven speak little and

well Epictetus says well it's silence be

your goal for the most part say only

what is necessary and be brief about it

on the rare occasions when you're called

upon to speak then speak but never about

banality is like gladiators horses

sports food and drink commonplace stuff

above all don't gossip about people

praising blaming or comparing them

Epictetus

gives us the list of things we should

not talk about we may not talk much

these days about gladiators but we do

talk about star athletes movie and music

stars and other celebrities instead of

talking about difficult topics because

we've been conditioned to think that

serious talk is boring and at any rate

requires more background knowledge and

attention than most of us associate with

good conversation

Epictetus also advises to stay away from

the conversation that's concerned with

gossiping and passing judgments of

people to indulge in gossip and judge

people who aren't present to defend

themselves simply doesn't seem to be the

virtuous thing to do initially this

exercise will feel unnatural but over

time the habit will eventually kick in

so slowly change your conversational

topics and respond less to gossiping and

passing judgments and occasionally

introduce a challenging topic of your

own that's based on something you've

recently read or watched and that you

feel might lead to a mutually beneficial

conversation with your friends

number eight choose your company well

Epictetus says avoid fraternizing with

non philosophers if you must though be

careful not to sink to their level

because you know if a companion is dirty

his friends cannot help but get a little

dirty too no matter how clean they

started out Epictetus advises us to pay

very close attention to whom we spend

our time with this is great advice since

life is short temptation and waste are

always lurking and so we need to pay

attention to what we're doing and who

our companions are so start spending

time with people who are interested in

following virtue and cultivating their

character Aristotle once said that we

want to be with friends who are better

than ourselves so that we can learn from

them ask yourself about the people you

meet and spend time with are they making

me better do they encourage me to push

forward and do they hold me accountable

or do they drag me down to their level

and then consciously consider whom you

allow into your life

number 9 respond to insults with humor

in the words of epictetus if you learn

that someone is speaking ill of you

don't try to defend yourself against the

rumors respond instead with yes and he

doesn't know the half of it because he

could have said more we get easily

offended when someone speaks ill about

us or insults us we take the insults too

personally which spoils our mood and

ruins our self-esteem instead we need to

realize that the insults whatever speak

about you is not in your control but how

you react to it most certainly is

Epictetus tells us to respond to insults

with self-deprecating humor for example

if someone trolls you for being

overweight there instead of getting

offended and getting

useless broad replied by saying yes I'm

fungally getting one step closer to

being the heaviest person on the planet

and then give it a laugh by laughing off

an insult we're implying that we don't

take the insult and his insult seriously

to imply this of course is to insult the

insulter without directly doing so it's

therefore a response that's likely to

deeply frustrate the insult huh

for this reason a humorous reply to an

insult can be far more effective than a

counter insult would be number 10 don't

speak too much about yourself as we

learn from epictetus in your

conversation don't dwell at excessive

length on your own deeds or adventures

just because you enjoy recounting your

exploits doesn't mean that others derive

the same pleasure from hearing about

them we're all guilty of talking too

much about ourselves we talk about

ourselves 30 to 40 percent of the time

that's a lot studies have shown that

talking about ourselves is strongly

associated with increased activity in

the mesolimbic dopamine system the same

part of our brain that experiences

pleasure through things like food sex

and money the truth is no one wants to

sit through a slideshow from your latest

vacation even when presented as tiny

pictures on your latest shining iPhone

no one really wants to hear another

person going on and on about themselves

it's pretty safe to say that we're not

as interesting as we think we are we

need to exercise some self-control and

refrain from talking too much about

ourselves this will make our friends and

acquaintances happier number eleven

speak without judging

to quote epictetus someone bathes in

haste don't say he bathes badly but in

haste someone drinks a lot of wine don't

say he drinks badly but a lot until you

know their reasons how do you know that

their actions are vicious this will save

you from perceiving one thing clearly

but then accenting to something

different the idea is to distinguish

between matters of fact to which we can

assent if we find them justified by

observation and judgments from which we

generally ought to abstain since we

usually don't have sufficient

information the truth is we're all doing

the best we can and we're not privy to

the stories behind people's actions so

we should be patient with others and

suspend our judgment of them recognising

the limits of our understanding

one of the things one must work on is

viewing the world as objectively as

possible if you see someone you might be

inclined to judges overweight think

instead of their exact weight which is a

fact rather than the judgment that

there's too much of it

better yet see them as a whole person

with all their objective characteristics

rather than the one you'd single out the

judgment adds nothing but unhelpful

emotion see the world as it is and work

from that finally number 12 reflect on

your day as Epictetus teachers admit not

to sleep into your tender eyelids till

you've reckoned up each deed of the day

how have I heard what's done or left

undone so start and so review your acts

and then for vile deeds chide yourself

for good be glad stoicism isn't just

about thinking it's about action and the

best way to improve is to review each

evening you should examine your day in

your actions find a quiet place in your

house or apartment and reflect on what's

happened during the day the goal is to

focus on the important happenings of the

day particularly those that have ethical

valence perhaps you spoke ill about your

friend or maybe you were helpful to a

colleague for each of these types of

occurrences write a few lines in your

diary and grade your own ethical

performance that day ask yourself what

did I do well today we're what my ethics

tested and where did I do well where did

I do badly why did this occur and

furthermore how can I improve so now you

know how you can self improve going

forward if you think you did something

that might have compromised your virtue

then don't beat yourself up

be like Seneca and forgive yourself have

some self compassion research shows that

it's forgiving yourself not beating

yourself up that stops you from

continually putting things off and don't

just be critical of yourself think about

what you did well so you can repeat it

tomorrow and most of all be grateful for

the good that happened today if you like

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