Epictetus once said that of one thing
beware Oh ma'am see what is the price at
which you sell your will if you do
nothing else
do not sell your will cheap in the
modern world stoicism is defined as the
endurance of pain or hardship without
the display of feelings and without
complaint but the original philosophy
was more than just an attitude according
to the Stoics everything around us
operates through a web of cause and
effect resulting in the rational
structure of the universe which they
call logos and while we may not have
control over the events that affect us
we do have control over how we approach
things rather than imagining an ideal
society and the Stoics see the world as
it is while pursuing self-improvement
through four cardinal virtues practical
wisdom which is navigating complex
situations with logic information and
calmness courage which is to do the
right thing and facing daily challenges
with clarity and integrity justice in
treating every human being regardless of
his or her stature in life with fairness
and kindness temperance or exercising
moderation and self-control in all
aspects of life
stoicism was an active school of
philosophy for several centuries in
Greece and Rome but as a formal
institution it faded away that said its
influence has continued to inspire
several business leaders politicians and
athletes to this day which is why in
this video we'll be discussing twelve
practical exercises according to the
book how to be a stoic by Massimo
Pigliucci that uses epictetus in Chi
Rhydian which we can use in the modern
world while mastering the force stoic
virtues number one examine your
impressions
Epictetus says so make a practice at
once of saying to every strong
impression an impression is all you are
not the source of the impression then
test and assess it with your criteria
but one primarily asked is this
something that is or is not in my
control by this exercise Epictetus tells
us to constantly examine our impressions
that is our initial reactions to events
people and what we're being told by
stepping back to make room for rational
deliberation avoiding rash emotional
reactions
and asking whether whatever is being
thrown at us is under our control or not
if it is under your control act on it if
it isn't then just ignore it for example
you get stuck in bad traffic and you're
getting late for work of course you
could have done things which were under
your control like pre-empting the
traffic and leaving early but now since
you are stuck in that traffic which is
not under your control you could instead
of being irritated or giving angry just
listen to music keep calm and carry on
number two remind yourself of the
impermanence of things in the words of
epictetus when giving your child or wife
a kiss
repeat to yourself I am kissing a mortal
the truth is change is a universal law
of nature things are changing constantly
life is ephemeral the people we care
about may be snatched from us in a snap
without warning
therefore this exercise is about
reminding ourselves how precious our
loved ones are and that they may soon
flow past let's appreciate what we have
now because it might be gone tomorrow
life is impermanent keep in mind that
you're lucky to be able to enjoy the
things you have and your enjoyment might
end abruptly and you might never be able
to enjoy those things ever again learn
to enjoy stuff and people without
feeling entitled to them without
clinging number-3 the reverse clause
according to Epictetus whenever planning
an action mentally rehearse what the
plan entails it just isn't true the bad
things only happen to bad people good or
bad each of us is going to face certain
situations this exercise is all about
facing these situations with the best of
your abilities while leaving the outcome
to fate let's suppose that you're
considered for a promotion at your job
while we naturally think that our goal
is to get the promotion the outcome of
course is not in our control
it can only be influenced by us so you
need to make your goal something that
actually is in your power and not
something that fate can rob you of which
in this case would be to put together
the best promotion file you can before
the decision is made now you may get the
promotion but there are chances that you
won't the idea is not to absorb the
injustice of not getting a promotion
that was richly deserved
rather it's to employ the wisdom that
sometimes things won't go your way even
if you do your best and regardless of
whether you deserved to get the
promotion or not number four how can I
use virtue here and now
Epictetus informs us for every challenge
remember the resources you have within
you to cope with it according to Stoics
we should use every occasion every
challenge as a way to exercise our
virtue to become a better human being by
constant application going by the
previous example it's very natural for
you to feel upset for not getting a
promotion that you thought you deserved
or being envious of your colleague who
got that promotion instead of you you
might even be angry at your boss for
overlooking you instead by remembering
your overarching goal which is just to
be a decent person who doesn't do
anything that's unvirtuous or that may
compromise your identity or integrity
you can let go of the negative feelings
and take this situation as a learning
curve and look for the ways you could
improve your work performance the truth
is all of us have a lot more
self-control endurance and patience than
we think we do number five pause and
take a deep breath as we learn from the
words of Epictetus remember it's not
enough to be hit or insulted to be
harmed
you must believe that you're being
harmed if someone succeeds in provoking
you realize that your mind is complicit
in the provocation which is why it's
essential that we not respond
impulsively to impressions take a moment
before reacting and you'll find it is
easier to maintain control this is
simple advice and yet it's really
difficult and yet it's very difficult to
pull off it's also it's also very very
important the idea behind this exercise
is to rationally examine our impressions
regardless of whether they're negative
such as insults or positive such as
feelings of lust
we need to resist the impulse to react
immediately in instinctively to
potentially problematic situations
instead we must pause and take a deep
breath perhaps go for a walk around the
block and only then consider the issue
with logic and calmness once you start
seriously practicing this exercise
you'll see a dramatic improvement in the
way you handle
things and you'll inevitably get
positive feedback from all the others
who also see those improvements in you
number six other eyes
according to Epictetus when somebody's
wife or child dies to a man we all
routinely say well that's part of life
but if one of our own families involved
then right away it's poor poor me we
would do better to remember how we react
when a similar loss afflicts others
Epictetus reminds us here of just how
differently we regard an event that has
affected other people when the same
event affects us it's easy for us to be
calm when little inconveniences or even
disasters happen to others rather than
to ourselves for example when your
friend loses or breaks his phone you'll
tell him that it's just a phone and it
can go out and buy a new one but when
you break your phone you'll lose your
calm or even for more grievous matters
like when your friend's wife dies you'd
Consultant by telling in the deaths a
part of life and that she's in a better
place now but when you lose someone of
your own you'll lose all your equanimity
of course losing your phone is not the
same thing as losing your wife but this
exercise is all about understanding that
accidents injuries disease and death are
all unavoidable and while it's
understandable to be distraught over
them we can take comfort in knowing that
they're in the normal order of things
the universe isn't after anyone or at
least isn't after any one of us in
particular number seven speak little and
well Epictetus says well it's silence be
your goal for the most part say only
what is necessary and be brief about it
on the rare occasions when you're called
upon to speak then speak but never about
banality is like gladiators horses
sports food and drink commonplace stuff
above all don't gossip about people
praising blaming or comparing them
Epictetus
gives us the list of things we should
not talk about we may not talk much
these days about gladiators but we do
talk about star athletes movie and music
stars and other celebrities instead of
talking about difficult topics because
we've been conditioned to think that
serious talk is boring and at any rate
requires more background knowledge and
attention than most of us associate with
good conversation
Epictetus also advises to stay away from
the conversation that's concerned with
gossiping and passing judgments of
people to indulge in gossip and judge
people who aren't present to defend
themselves simply doesn't seem to be the
virtuous thing to do initially this
exercise will feel unnatural but over
time the habit will eventually kick in
so slowly change your conversational
topics and respond less to gossiping and
passing judgments and occasionally
introduce a challenging topic of your
own that's based on something you've
recently read or watched and that you
feel might lead to a mutually beneficial
conversation with your friends
number eight choose your company well
Epictetus says avoid fraternizing with
non philosophers if you must though be
careful not to sink to their level
because you know if a companion is dirty
his friends cannot help but get a little
dirty too no matter how clean they
started out Epictetus advises us to pay
very close attention to whom we spend
our time with this is great advice since
life is short temptation and waste are
always lurking and so we need to pay
attention to what we're doing and who
our companions are so start spending
time with people who are interested in
following virtue and cultivating their
character Aristotle once said that we
want to be with friends who are better
than ourselves so that we can learn from
them ask yourself about the people you
meet and spend time with are they making
me better do they encourage me to push
forward and do they hold me accountable
or do they drag me down to their level
and then consciously consider whom you
allow into your life
number 9 respond to insults with humor
in the words of epictetus if you learn
that someone is speaking ill of you
don't try to defend yourself against the
rumors respond instead with yes and he
doesn't know the half of it because he
could have said more we get easily
offended when someone speaks ill about
us or insults us we take the insults too
personally which spoils our mood and
ruins our self-esteem instead we need to
realize that the insults whatever speak
about you is not in your control but how
you react to it most certainly is
Epictetus tells us to respond to insults
with self-deprecating humor for example
if someone trolls you for being
overweight there instead of getting
offended and getting
useless broad replied by saying yes I'm
fungally getting one step closer to
being the heaviest person on the planet
and then give it a laugh by laughing off
an insult we're implying that we don't
take the insult and his insult seriously
to imply this of course is to insult the
insulter without directly doing so it's
therefore a response that's likely to
deeply frustrate the insult huh
for this reason a humorous reply to an
insult can be far more effective than a
counter insult would be number 10 don't
speak too much about yourself as we
learn from epictetus in your
conversation don't dwell at excessive
length on your own deeds or adventures
just because you enjoy recounting your
exploits doesn't mean that others derive
the same pleasure from hearing about
them we're all guilty of talking too
much about ourselves we talk about
ourselves 30 to 40 percent of the time
that's a lot studies have shown that
talking about ourselves is strongly
associated with increased activity in
the mesolimbic dopamine system the same
part of our brain that experiences
pleasure through things like food sex
and money the truth is no one wants to
sit through a slideshow from your latest
vacation even when presented as tiny
pictures on your latest shining iPhone
no one really wants to hear another
person going on and on about themselves
it's pretty safe to say that we're not
as interesting as we think we are we
need to exercise some self-control and
refrain from talking too much about
ourselves this will make our friends and
acquaintances happier number eleven
speak without judging
to quote epictetus someone bathes in
haste don't say he bathes badly but in
haste someone drinks a lot of wine don't
say he drinks badly but a lot until you
know their reasons how do you know that
their actions are vicious this will save
you from perceiving one thing clearly
but then accenting to something
different the idea is to distinguish
between matters of fact to which we can
assent if we find them justified by
observation and judgments from which we
generally ought to abstain since we
usually don't have sufficient
information the truth is we're all doing
the best we can and we're not privy to
the stories behind people's actions so
we should be patient with others and
suspend our judgment of them recognising
the limits of our understanding
one of the things one must work on is
viewing the world as objectively as
possible if you see someone you might be
inclined to judges overweight think
instead of their exact weight which is a
fact rather than the judgment that
there's too much of it
better yet see them as a whole person
with all their objective characteristics
rather than the one you'd single out the
judgment adds nothing but unhelpful
emotion see the world as it is and work
from that finally number 12 reflect on
your day as Epictetus teachers admit not
to sleep into your tender eyelids till
you've reckoned up each deed of the day
how have I heard what's done or left
undone so start and so review your acts
and then for vile deeds chide yourself
for good be glad stoicism isn't just
about thinking it's about action and the
best way to improve is to review each
evening you should examine your day in
your actions find a quiet place in your
house or apartment and reflect on what's
happened during the day the goal is to
focus on the important happenings of the
day particularly those that have ethical
valence perhaps you spoke ill about your
friend or maybe you were helpful to a
colleague for each of these types of
occurrences write a few lines in your
diary and grade your own ethical
performance that day ask yourself what
did I do well today we're what my ethics
tested and where did I do well where did
I do badly why did this occur and
furthermore how can I improve so now you
know how you can self improve going
forward if you think you did something
that might have compromised your virtue
then don't beat yourself up
be like Seneca and forgive yourself have
some self compassion research shows that
it's forgiving yourself not beating
yourself up that stops you from
continually putting things off and don't
just be critical of yourself think about
what you did well so you can repeat it
tomorrow and most of all be grateful for
the good that happened today if you like
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thanks for watching
you