1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:01,800 James: Let's see what was I was. 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:10,380 Caitlin Van Mol: How old it was then you were 3330 in 2006 James 3 00:00:10,380 --> 00:00:12,780 McVey was a man with a plan. 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,620 James: So 33 years old, I was working at Bennigan's as a 5 00:00:16,620 --> 00:00:20,040 bartender, kind of doing a little bit of management shifts. 6 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:24,560 That was going to be my long term goal, was to be a manager 7 00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:27,500 with the preference of eventually owning my own 8 00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:30,140 restaurant. So that's kind of where I was just, you know, I 9 00:00:30,140 --> 00:00:31,040 guess living the life 10 00:00:31,460 --> 00:00:36,140 Caitlin Van Mol: on February 20, 2006 James was driving home from 11 00:00:36,140 --> 00:00:39,800 his shift at Bennigan's in Fort Worth Texas, 12 00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:42,760 James: and the weather was bad, but it wasn't terrible. It was 13 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:46,600 just it was a cold. It doesn't really get icy cold in Texas 14 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:50,020 often, right? So it was just different. I grew up in Denver, 15 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,680 so I think I have a pretty good idea of driving in the snow and 16 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,560 stuff like that. But when it gets but when it gets bad down 17 00:00:56,560 --> 00:01:01,320 here, it's not snow, it's just ice. And I don't care where you 18 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:03,720 grew up at or where you're from or stuff like that, but driving 19 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:07,740 on ice is just almost impossible for no matter who you are. But I 20 00:01:07,740 --> 00:01:10,740 just took what I knew from living in Colorado, just drive 21 00:01:10,740 --> 00:01:12,960 slow. Don't make erratic movements, don't slam on the 22 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:15,780 brakes. So when I was driving home that night, I didn't feel 23 00:01:16,260 --> 00:01:19,200 any angst or like I was like, if I just go slow on the highway, 24 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,340 I'll be fine, because I lived about 10 miles from my job 25 00:01:23,059 --> 00:01:26,719 Caitlin Van Mol: to get home, James had to take i 20 to i 35 26 00:01:27,559 --> 00:01:31,939 which connect with multi level overpasses that Chris and cross 27 00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:34,579 in this tangled octopus web. 28 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,280 James: So highway connects to a highway, connects to a highway 29 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,800 connects to a highway. But when you have three or four highways 30 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:44,200 connecting at the same time, you can't run those on and off ramps 31 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,200 at the same level, right? So what they do is they build up 32 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:54,160 and going from i 20 to i 35 there's a just an off ramp. But 33 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,700 granted, this off ramp is considerably high. So he's 34 00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:01,020 coming around the corner, and as I did, there was headlights 35 00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:01,380 facing me. 36 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:06,600 Caitlin Van Mol: This was a one way road, as most ramps are, and 37 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,880 this car was facing the wrong way. 38 00:02:09,659 --> 00:02:11,879 James: And I was like, Oh, this isn't good. Somebody probably 39 00:02:11,879 --> 00:02:15,539 spun out, because you see it all the time. Happens often here. So 40 00:02:15,539 --> 00:02:18,179 I slowed down tremendously. Probably went like five miles an 41 00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:21,979 hour past them, rolled down my windows and just kind of looked 42 00:02:22,099 --> 00:02:25,039 to see what the status was and stuff like that. As I drove past 43 00:02:25,039 --> 00:02:27,439 and their windows, one of their Windows was down, and they were 44 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:31,099 screaming. And I was like, and it was, it was a lady. I can 45 00:02:31,099 --> 00:02:33,379 tell it was at least one lady. And I was like, Oh man, 46 00:02:34,159 --> 00:02:36,739 Caitlin Van Mol: there were actually two sisters and one of 47 00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:41,799 their young sons in the car. James drove a little further 48 00:02:41,859 --> 00:02:43,299 just to get off the ramp. 49 00:02:43,659 --> 00:02:46,299 James: And I was like, All right, what do I do here? What's 50 00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:49,419 the best situation? What's the best way to do this? I was like, 51 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:52,779 well, there's, there's no cars. It's probably 230 in the 52 00:02:52,779 --> 00:02:55,299 morning, three o'clock in the morning, so there's very little 53 00:02:55,299 --> 00:02:58,599 traffic that time of day. Anyways, I was like, I need to 54 00:02:58,599 --> 00:03:01,079 go check on her just to make sure she's okay. So I got in my 55 00:03:01,079 --> 00:03:06,359 car, kind of held on to the the barrier wall, walking back up to 56 00:03:06,359 --> 00:03:10,859 the car, because it was, it was all icy, and I get up there, and 57 00:03:10,859 --> 00:03:14,579 there was two ladies in the car. They're both pretty, pretty 58 00:03:14,579 --> 00:03:17,759 hysterical. They were scared. I think they're backwards on the 59 00:03:17,759 --> 00:03:23,059 highway that I'm not sure if the airbags had deployed or not, but 60 00:03:23,059 --> 00:03:26,359 the one lady had some blood on her, on her mouth, and I was the 61 00:03:26,419 --> 00:03:29,659 driver, and the passenger was just screaming a bunch. And I 62 00:03:29,659 --> 00:03:32,719 was like, oh dear. I said, Are you guys all right? And they 63 00:03:32,719 --> 00:03:35,359 just really couldn't speak to me clearly, because they were just 64 00:03:35,359 --> 00:03:38,959 really hysterical. And I was like, Do you want me to call 911 65 00:03:39,439 --> 00:03:42,339 and she held up her phone. So I thought that meant she had 66 00:03:42,339 --> 00:03:45,879 called 911, right? But I wasn't really there wasn't good enough 67 00:03:45,879 --> 00:03:50,499 communication to be clear what was what was going on. So I sat 68 00:03:50,499 --> 00:03:54,519 there for a minute, and this diesel started coming around. 69 00:03:54,519 --> 00:03:58,299 The 18 big 18 wheeler started coming around the corner, and it 70 00:03:58,299 --> 00:04:02,579 just started sliding. And I was like, oh, excuse my language, 71 00:04:02,579 --> 00:04:04,739 because I go shit. This isn't good. 72 00:04:06,659 --> 00:04:10,439 Caitlin Van Mol: This is live to tell the podcast where I talk to 73 00:04:10,439 --> 00:04:14,099 some of the bravest people who have been through the most 74 00:04:14,099 --> 00:04:19,559 horrifying things and lived to tell the tale. I'm Caitlin van 75 00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:19,979 mol. You. 76 00:04:26,779 --> 00:04:29,479 Okay, the diesel truck was a bit of a fake out. 77 00:04:30,079 --> 00:04:34,939 James: So I started walking back towards my car, and the diesel 78 00:04:34,939 --> 00:04:39,499 is just slid past me, and it just went on down the road and 79 00:04:39,499 --> 00:04:43,419 just kept on going. I was like, oh my god, that was crazy. And 80 00:04:43,419 --> 00:04:46,779 so I sat there for a second. I was like, What do I do here? And 81 00:04:46,779 --> 00:04:49,899 I went back up to the car, and I said, Hey, I'm going to call 911 82 00:04:50,319 --> 00:04:56,139 and then I'm going to go back to my car. So I called 911 and then 83 00:04:56,139 --> 00:05:00,179 I started walking back to my car, and the 911 operator. Was 84 00:05:00,179 --> 00:05:02,399 like, just asking me, like, simple questions, where are you 85 00:05:02,399 --> 00:05:05,699 at? What's the situation? I said, Well, his car is backwards 86 00:05:05,699 --> 00:05:10,559 on the on the highway. I'm just out talking to them. What do I 87 00:05:11,099 --> 00:05:13,559 What should I do? Yeah, and they're like, well, you should 88 00:05:13,559 --> 00:05:18,479 go get in safety. How are the ladies doing? And I said, I 89 00:05:18,479 --> 00:05:20,719 don't know exactly. I know one of them was bleeding from her 90 00:05:20,719 --> 00:05:24,679 mouth. And I said, but I think one of them's pregnant, and 91 00:05:24,679 --> 00:05:27,619 they're like, Well, how bad is it for her? And I said, let me 92 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:31,939 go back up and ask. So I walked back up to the car again, and I 93 00:05:31,939 --> 00:05:34,639 tried to talk to me. I said, Hey, I'm on the phone. I don't 94 00:05:34,639 --> 00:05:37,999 want you guys need help, like, what? What's the situation? It 95 00:05:37,999 --> 00:05:40,839 was just a lot of screaming again. I said, just, just bring 96 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:43,239 an ambulance, I said, because it's really hard for me to talk 97 00:05:43,239 --> 00:05:45,399 to them. I think they're just scared to death. Cars keep 98 00:05:45,399 --> 00:05:48,459 coming by, they keep sliding. We need to get the highway shut 99 00:05:48,459 --> 00:05:51,039 down at least, or something like that. I'm not remember exactly 100 00:05:51,039 --> 00:05:53,619 what my words were, but it was something to that effect, 101 00:05:54,219 --> 00:05:56,799 Caitlin Van Mol: while James was still up on the overpass by the 102 00:05:56,799 --> 00:05:57,699 stopped car, 103 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:03,120 James: and then a pickup truck came and started sliding. And I 104 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:07,200 was like, Oh. I said, oh shit, here we go again. And I started 105 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,800 kind of trying to walk fast past the car, and that time I heard 106 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:14,760 the truck hit the car, and I was like, Oh crap. It's really close 107 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,500 to me. And then it hit me. 108 00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:20,520 Caitlin Van Mol: Not only did the truck hit James, the impact 109 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:24,620 threw him off the overpass, 70 feet to the ground, 110 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:30,500 James: and I remember just going off the side of the highway and 111 00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:35,480 being like, oh, like, I'm dead, because I know how far down it 112 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:40,960 is, yeah. And I just remember thinking I'm dead, and then I 113 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:45,340 was on the ground, and I'm like, What's going on here? Like, how 114 00:06:45,340 --> 00:06:48,880 am I on the ground? I don't remember hitting the ground, but 115 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:53,680 I was, but I was awake. I was kind of a might get a little 116 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:57,820 emotional here. I'm sorry, just kind of own, okay, I haven't 117 00:06:57,820 --> 00:07:03,660 talked about this all in a while. Um, I was laying on like, 118 00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:07,560 the side of a hill where my face was below the rest of my body, 119 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,980 so I was kind of pointed downhill, and I knew where I 120 00:07:10,980 --> 00:07:14,520 was. And I was like, how did I get down here? And how am I? How 121 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,220 am I okay? Because I didn't hurt, 122 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:22,100 Caitlin Van Mol: to be clear, James was not okay. He was 123 00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:27,860 definitely severely injured. He just didn't feel the pain yet. 124 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:32,120 James: But I was really I was really warm, and it was really 125 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,840 cold, and I'm like, This doesn't make any sense. Like I can see 126 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:41,260 my breath, my mouth felt super, super hot. Like Like, I felt 127 00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:44,500 like my mouth was running, and I couldn't figure out why my mouth 128 00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:49,360 was running, like dripping. I was just kind of, I was very 129 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,640 confused with what was found, what was going on. Because, 130 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:55,180 like, I said, I thought I was dead, and then I was like, Okay, 131 00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:56,260 I'm in a bad spot. 132 00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:59,860 Caitlin Van Mol: He means bad spot, figuratively and 133 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:00,780 literally, 134 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,080 James: I'm in an area where there's nothing, there's no 135 00:08:04,140 --> 00:08:06,960 businesses, and I'm in like a little ravine where there's a 136 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:10,860 creek down there, so there's no, no people are going to be down 137 00:08:10,860 --> 00:08:15,780 there. And I was like, I need to figure out how to get help. So I 138 00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:18,720 tried to get up, and when I pushed, went to push myself up. 139 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:23,000 I pushed with my with my forearms instead of my hands. 140 00:08:23,780 --> 00:08:27,260 And I was very confused by that. I was like, why? What's going on 141 00:08:27,260 --> 00:08:29,420 here? It's pretty grass. 142 00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:32,180 Caitlin Van Mol: Sorry about this. I'm used to hearing it, 143 00:08:32,180 --> 00:08:34,280 but it's still gross, you know? 144 00:08:34,340 --> 00:08:36,860 James: Well, that's good, that's good. That means you haven't 145 00:08:36,860 --> 00:08:41,440 become numb to it yet. So my wrist broke through the inside 146 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:45,040 of both of my forearms. So when I was pushing up, I was pushing 147 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:48,580 up with, like, my mid arm. And I was like, oh, that's that's 148 00:08:48,580 --> 00:08:51,340 definitely not good. And I was like, Okay, I need to figure out 149 00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:56,620 how to, like, wiggle my my lower body. And I could feel my left 150 00:08:56,620 --> 00:09:01,320 leg, but I look back at my right leg, and it was like a slinky 151 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:07,380 inside my jeans. And I was like, Oh, that isn't good either. And 152 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,840 so I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do. And so I 153 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,840 started kind of screaming the best I could. I started 154 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,480 screaming like, help me. I think is what I keep saying over and 155 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,120 over again, help me. Help me. But Come to find out, my jaw was 156 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:22,280 all broken, like my upper teeth broke all out and broke the 157 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:25,880 whole upper jaw. My bottom jaw came through my bottom of my 158 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:29,840 chin right here, and that's it was just bleeding so bad, and 159 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:33,020 that's what all the warmth was that I was feeling. But again, 160 00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:36,200 nothing hurt, which is just, it's the craziest thing in the 161 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:40,780 world. Yeah, I'd never broken a bone before in my life. And I 162 00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:44,680 was like, this should all hurt tremendously, right? But, but 163 00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:48,880 nothing hurts. I don't know what the ladies got out of the car, 164 00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:54,400 but I heard the ladies talking. And so I don't know how I heard 165 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:57,040 them talking, but I heard the ladies talking as I was 166 00:09:57,100 --> 00:10:00,780 screaming, help me. But it wasn't very. Loud, whatever I 167 00:10:00,780 --> 00:10:04,140 was screaming. There was not a lot of decibels coming out of 168 00:10:04,140 --> 00:10:04,260 jaw. 169 00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,540 Caitlin Van Mol: The way that it was, it was a little, probably a 170 00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:07,320 little hard to, 171 00:10:07,860 --> 00:10:11,940 James: yeah, it's so but I could hear them, but they thought I 172 00:10:11,940 --> 00:10:15,180 was a homeless person. They were like, don't worry about that. 173 00:10:15,180 --> 00:10:18,180 That's a homeless person down, down there, just causing, 174 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:21,500 causing problems, because they didn't know where I went. I 175 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:23,900 guess they thought I walked. They thought I walked back down 176 00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:24,560 to my car. 177 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,680 Caitlin Van Mol: So no one knew that James fell from the 178 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:32,060 overpass, which meant no one would be looking for him or 179 00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:36,200 could get him the help he desperately needed. But then 180 00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:38,420 James heard a voice, 181 00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:42,280 James: but then I hear somebody talking to me. I'm like, This is 182 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,760 crazy. Like, I don't know how somebody's talking to me, yeah, 183 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:50,500 but, like, maybe two to three feet away from me when I fell 184 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:54,520 off the bridge, I had my phone on me, and my phone fell next to 185 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:58,540 me, and it's and it was an old flip phone, and it actually 186 00:10:58,540 --> 00:10:58,900 stayed 187 00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:02,400 Caitlin Van Mol: open again. This is 2006 Wow. 188 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:07,020 James: So they could hear me screaming, and once I stopped 189 00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:11,760 screaming, I could hear them talking to me. And they're like, 190 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,980 James, is that you? And I'm like, Yes. They're like, where 191 00:11:13,980 --> 00:11:14,640 are you at, James? 192 00:11:14,820 --> 00:11:22,700 Unknown: We have an ambulance on the way to you. Okay? Off the 193 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:23,060 bridge. 194 00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:32,600 James: I'm like, I got hit by a car, and I'm under the bridge. 195 00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:35,780 Well, I think that that guy who I originally was talking to 196 00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:39,260 didn't understand what I was because I wasn't clear at all 197 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:43,540 when I'm talking, it's as mumbled as it gets. He kept 198 00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:46,480 saying, You're you're on the bridge. And I said, No, I'm 199 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:50,320 under the bridge. I kept saying, I'm underneath the bridge. Send 200 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:55,900 help. I need help. And he had, I don't know if he somebody else 201 00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:59,800 came to help him. And it was a lady that was on then started 202 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:02,160 talking to me, and she I think she might have know the area a 203 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:02,880 little bit better. 204 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:08,400 Unknown: James, did you land on another bridge? Are you in the 205 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:18,600 grass? James, talk to me, okay. Are you in the grass? Are you in 206 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:23,600 grass? You're in the grass. Okay, I'm getting help too, you 207 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:28,580 stay with me. Okay, I'm getting help too, you stay with me. 208 00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:34,820 Caitlin Van Mol: But even with this reassurance, James had no 209 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:39,980 idea how they would find him under this massive overpass in 210 00:12:39,980 --> 00:12:40,660 the dark. 211 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:44,740 James: The major hospital in the area is probably six or seven 212 00:12:44,740 --> 00:12:47,620 miles from where we're at. I know which way they got to come 213 00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:50,920 down, but they go the wrong the opposite way of where I'm at. 214 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,800 And then I start freaking out again. I'm like, You're going 215 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:57,700 the wrong way? Yeah, I had never been down on the road by where I 216 00:12:57,700 --> 00:13:01,260 was right, and I didn't know how to get there. And you can't get 217 00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:03,360 there from the way I would think you would get there. So they 218 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,780 were actually going to get to a road to get to this service road 219 00:13:06,780 --> 00:13:11,160 to get to me. Right they got, I could see them pull up next to 220 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:14,040 me on the road. They come running out with a stretcher. It 221 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:18,480 was two guys, and they just kind of looked at me like, Oh, you're 222 00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:23,720 you're in some trouble. And the one guy said, Hey, I need to 223 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,480 straighten your leg out before we put you on the 224 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:29,060 Caitlin Van Mol: stretcher. Can you describe your leg again? 225 00:13:29,299 --> 00:13:33,259 James: It just, it just looked zigzaggy in my jeans. It's all 226 00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:36,200 Caitlin Van Mol: like, squished, squished, yeah? And I'm like, 227 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,480 That's not bag of rocks, yeah. 228 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,720 James: I don't know how to describe it. It was just very it 229 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,900 was like, if you dropped a pair of pants on the ground, that's 230 00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:46,840 what it looked like, not with something inside of them, right? 231 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,000 Like there's supposed to be something in there that would 232 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,760 fill out that gene, and there's not something in there, right? 233 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:56,620 Now, they put the baller on my neck, and then they rolled me 234 00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:59,680 over, and he's like, this is gonna hurt more than anything's 235 00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:02,880 ever hurt in your life. I don't know what he put on my leg. He 236 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:06,540 pulled my leg to straighten it, put an air cast on it. And that 237 00:14:06,540 --> 00:14:11,880 hurt. That hurt like, like I was screaming like us, like, I don't 238 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:16,260 know how to explain it, but I was screaming pretty bad. Then 239 00:14:16,260 --> 00:14:18,540 they would take me up to the ambulance, and they get me in 240 00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:21,920 the ambulance. I knew I wasn't breathing. Well, I kept choking 241 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:25,580 a bunch. And so I guess they had to do, they had to do a 242 00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:29,060 tracheotomy in the in the ambulance, which is something 243 00:14:29,060 --> 00:14:32,660 that I guess I've been told that they don't often do. Yeah, and I 244 00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:35,780 remember being flustered going, oh man, because I saw something 245 00:14:35,780 --> 00:14:39,800 about if you get a tracheotomy like, the scar never goes away. 246 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,700 It's always big, and it's right here in your neck. And I was 247 00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:45,880 like, Oh my gosh, now I got this big star. I'm like, I remember 248 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:51,640 getting to the to the hospital, and they, like a bunch of 249 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:55,000 doctors, came around me, and how I communicate this with them 250 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,720 also, but I told them they couldn't do anything to me until 251 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,372 they got a hold of my mother. They're like, we need to put you 252 00:15:01,372 --> 00:15:03,832 in right? I was like, You can't do anything until you get a hold 253 00:15:03,832 --> 00:15:07,792 of my mom. And so they, I guess they called and got a hold of 254 00:15:07,792 --> 00:15:11,632 her, and then they came back. They said, We talked to your 255 00:15:11,632 --> 00:15:17,032 mom. We told her not to come up here, which for safety reasons, 256 00:15:17,032 --> 00:15:19,612 because it the ice is so terrible learning. What good 257 00:15:19,612 --> 00:15:22,100 does it do to have more people get hurt and stuff like that? 258 00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:28,040 Yeah, so. And I was like, Okay, let's you did your part. I do 259 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:29,180 what you got to do now. 260 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:36,620 Caitlin Van Mol: We'll be right back. James doesn't remember a 261 00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:39,020 lot from the days after the accident, but they 262 00:15:39,260 --> 00:15:41,600 James: weren't sure how my melon was going to I call it my melon. 263 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,260 My melon. My melon was gonna be because I had such a pretty 264 00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:49,240 dramatic head injury, because I definitely hit face first, yeah, 265 00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:54,640 breaking my jaw and my mouth here, and then it like broke my 266 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:58,840 skull all the way around. Broke my facial bones in here. They 267 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,980 had to reconstruct all that. Don't know if they thought I was 268 00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:06,540 going to die. I don't know they I don't know they thought I was 269 00:16:06,540 --> 00:16:11,760 going to end up good, maybe somewhere in between. You know, 270 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:15,660 I had just wires and tubes and everything all over my face is 271 00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:21,620 my look my left leg. It wasn't in a cast, but it was in a like 272 00:16:21,620 --> 00:16:26,900 a Velcro brace that kept my leg perfectly straight, and then my 273 00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:32,000 left arm was from the elbow surgery and the wrist surgeries 274 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:36,620 and stuff like that. It had metal bars that went across the 275 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:41,800 length of my from my wrist to my elbow that protruded from from 276 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,420 the skin probably six inches, 277 00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:47,320 Caitlin Van Mol: yeah, so it's almost like one of those halos, 278 00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:52,780 James: but from your arm, yeah, right. And then my arm was in a 279 00:16:53,740 --> 00:16:58,780 cast that you'll see, like people who have, like ACL 280 00:16:58,780 --> 00:17:00,840 surgeries or something like that, with the little metal 281 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:05,340 spinners on the side. And then my right arm was in a cast, I 282 00:17:05,340 --> 00:17:07,980 believe was in a cast. It was in something. And I'm not sure if 283 00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:12,360 it was a cast or just a plaster thing. We had to wire my mouth 284 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:17,160 shut. So I don't know if I was awake during that time. I might 285 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:17,580 remember 286 00:17:17,580 --> 00:17:19,800 Caitlin Van Mol: some of it, but yeah, or if it's just like a 287 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,020 drug haze? 288 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,840 James: Yeah, I don't know how it how it equates to being 289 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:27,440 cognitive of of the situation. I just remember going to like 290 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:31,340 different testing things, going to a CT scan, going to an MRI, 291 00:17:31,340 --> 00:17:34,760 going to a different room to do this, being in a surgical room, 292 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,180 going to a different surgical room. And then I started to 293 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:42,940 remember people being there, my parents, my friends, stuff like 294 00:17:42,940 --> 00:17:45,820 that. I just started to remember them being there, and remember 295 00:17:46,060 --> 00:17:48,700 what a bad situation I was in, because I just couldn't, 296 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,700 couldn't do anything. I couldn't do anything, 297 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,000 Caitlin Van Mol: and that included talking, because his 298 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:59,500 jaw was wired shut. Not being able to communicate was really 299 00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:04,140 hard on James, until someone finally came up with a solution. 300 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,980 James: And then I don't remember who came up to me and said that 301 00:18:07,980 --> 00:18:10,860 they have like a board with letters on it, and they would 302 00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:16,680 give me a pencil that I could hold in my cast in my right arm, 303 00:18:17,220 --> 00:18:20,660 and I could point to letters. And they would figure out what I 304 00:18:20,660 --> 00:18:23,960 was kind of saying by me pointing to letters. So that 305 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:27,920 kind of made it way better, if that makes sense, because at 306 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,280 least being able to talk to people makes it or communicate 307 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:34,580 what it is you need or what you're feeling, or trying to 308 00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:37,760 figure out even what happened, yeah, still trying to figure 309 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:42,460 out, still still trying to understand what ended up 310 00:18:42,460 --> 00:18:43,660 happening and stuff like that. 311 00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:47,620 Caitlin Van Mol: So what is the first conversation you remember 312 00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:53,560 having with the doctors about how bad your injuries were? I 313 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,800 mean, it's fairly obvious if you're in, like, the big gas, 314 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:57,460 but like, 315 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,300 James: All right, so it's hard to describe, because that 316 00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:03,300 everyone has their own specialty. So you don't have, 317 00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:07,860 like, one doctor, you have, you know, I had an EMT. Doctor, I 318 00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:12,360 had my arm. Doctor, I had my leg. Doctor, I had just all the 319 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,820 different people that would come in there. So they were just 320 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:18,780 focused on my job is to get this part better for you, right? I 321 00:19:18,780 --> 00:19:21,320 remember ever thinking like, Oh, my God, this is the worst 322 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:25,400 scenario in the world. My parents are pretty positive now, 323 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,200 like they're making me better. You know, we're gonna get 324 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,540 through this. We're gonna figure it out. We're gonna that kind of 325 00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:32,180 stuff. And I've got a tremendously positive attitude, 326 00:19:32,180 --> 00:19:35,540 I think because Because of them, I kind of came to terms with 327 00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:37,820 they said they can fix some stuff. So whatever they can fix, 328 00:19:37,820 --> 00:19:40,220 they fix, and whatever they don't, we just figure out how to 329 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:42,640 get through. Keep going forward. After that, I knew I was still 330 00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:45,460 pretty messed up, but just I was like, Man, I wish you would have 331 00:19:45,460 --> 00:19:48,100 got pictures. I wanted to see what I looked like, because they 332 00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:51,100 kept saying your head was like the size of a basketball. I was 333 00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:53,140 like, what they're like, your head was like size of a 334 00:19:53,140 --> 00:19:55,540 basketball. It's like, how's that possible? Like, we don't 335 00:19:55,540 --> 00:19:55,720 know. 336 00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:00,240 Caitlin Van Mol: As injured as he was, James was really. Really 337 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,120 not interested in sticking around the hospital. 338 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,880 James: So it was funny. So I lived pretty close to the 339 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,780 hospital. I lived about two miles, and depending on my state 340 00:20:09,780 --> 00:20:12,360 of mind, with how many drugs I guess I had in me, I kept 341 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:17,040 thinking, I'm just gonna go home like, I'm I feel fine. I just 342 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,800 want to go home like I kept wanting to go to work the next 343 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:24,980 day. And they're like, you are. You can't do anything. Like you 344 00:20:24,980 --> 00:20:30,440 can't talk. I feel fine. I kept trying to get out of bed, and I 345 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,260 would fall on the ground because I had no support with my leg, 346 00:20:33,260 --> 00:20:37,880 and I kept pulling my pick line out. So they ended up. My mom 347 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:43,180 allowed them to handcuff me to the bed, which I was pretty bad 348 00:20:43,180 --> 00:20:46,900 at for for a while, because I just the drugs make you feel 349 00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:53,620 fine and and I just, I guess I didn't grasp how bad it was. If 350 00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:55,660 you were sensible, you would know you're not going to work 351 00:20:55,660 --> 00:20:56,140 the next day 352 00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:00,040 Caitlin Van Mol: in the hospital. James lost a ton of 353 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,420 weight. Well, not a ton, exactly, 354 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,740 James: because I ate all my food through a tube for, I don't 355 00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:11,520 know, six weeks or something like that. And I ended up losing 356 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:16,440 probably 40 pounds, 50 pounds, so I weighed 100 pounds when I 357 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:20,420 was getting ready to leave the rehab place. And I'm six foot. I 358 00:21:20,420 --> 00:21:24,020 was six foot, somehow I grew almost three inches. So I'm 359 00:21:24,020 --> 00:21:27,500 like, almost six three now nobody really knows. Can explain 360 00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:31,640 how it happens, but if I was six foot my whole entire life, 361 00:21:31,820 --> 00:21:34,460 Caitlin Van Mol: like if that crushing of that one leg, then 362 00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:37,700 it just kind of like got stretched out. But it would only 363 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:42,460 make sense if one leg was longer than the other, you know, right? 364 00:21:42,820 --> 00:21:45,580 James: Some of the doctors have said it was because I laid down 365 00:21:45,580 --> 00:21:51,040 for so long that it helped my discs start to, like, separate 366 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:53,500 from not having so much compression on it. Because after 367 00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:56,380 you get to like, when you start to get older, just years of 368 00:21:56,380 --> 00:21:59,260 compression makes you shrink. They said that since you laid 369 00:21:59,260 --> 00:22:02,640 down for so long, it might have eased up a lot, but I still 370 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:06,420 haven't shrunk any. Still, six, two and a half or something like 371 00:22:06,420 --> 00:22:09,240 that. It's the craziest thing. Well, my friends, all my short 372 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,880 friends, would always joke. So I got to do is fall off the bridge 373 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:16,740 and I grow three inches. Right? If you want to try it, you can 374 00:22:16,740 --> 00:22:18,240 always try it. 375 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,660 Caitlin Van Mol: We here at live to tell. And by we, I mean me 376 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:24,860 Caitlin, are officially against jumping off great heights just 377 00:22:24,860 --> 00:22:29,600 to make yourself taller. Getting those extra inches wasn't all 378 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,160 James was curious about. 379 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,920 James: So I stayed in the hospital for for I think, three 380 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,280 weeks in intensive care, and then they sent me to a rehab 381 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:40,660 facility for, I think, two months or something. But when I 382 00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:45,280 was in there, I asked about the 911, tape, and I was like, Hey, 383 00:22:45,580 --> 00:22:48,580 do they have a tape of it? And mom's like, what? I'm like, 384 00:22:48,580 --> 00:22:53,080 yeah, like, I want to share, because I'm kind of not sure 385 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:56,860 about my story. Like, what happened? And I know I was on 386 00:22:56,860 --> 00:22:59,080 the phone the whole time, it would be interesting just to 387 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:03,960 hear the whole scenario. And so she called them to ask about it, 388 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:07,320 and the lady she talked to was a lady who was on the phone with 389 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:12,060 me, and she asked, mon asked, is there a way we can get a copy of 390 00:23:12,060 --> 00:23:14,760 the tape? And the lady's like, ma'am, you'll, you'll never, you 391 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,100 don't ever want to hear that. I know 392 00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:19,800 Caitlin Van Mol: I've already played a bit of the call, but 393 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:23,360 it's 20 minutes long, and to give you an idea of what the 394 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:24,800 bulk of it sounds like. 395 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:38,960 So, yeah, hard to listen to. Back to the conversation between 396 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,380 James's mom and the 911, operator. 397 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,680 James: And she's like, No, no, um, it's not for me, it's for my 398 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:49,600 son. And she said he lived through it. And she said, Yeah. 399 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:53,140 And he's like, Oh my God. She's like, don't tell him not to 400 00:23:53,140 --> 00:23:59,200 listen to it. She was like, It's horrific. And, you know, but I 401 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:03,240 was able to listen to it and separate myself from like, it's 402 00:24:03,540 --> 00:24:05,820 almost like it's a movie or something. Yeah, I don't 403 00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:08,820 understand how I listened to it. There was a gentleman named Alex 404 00:24:08,820 --> 00:24:12,960 branch who wrote, wrote an article that was in the paper. 405 00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:17,400 He did a couple of them, and he wanted to listen to the tape. 406 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,900 And we made it, probably, I don't know, five, six minutes 407 00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:23,780 into the tape, and he was crying. He's like, he's like, I 408 00:24:23,780 --> 00:24:26,900 gotta get out of here. I can't listen. He's like, we're good. 409 00:24:26,900 --> 00:24:31,940 I've heard enough. Oh, God, this pretty crazy. You want to help 410 00:24:31,940 --> 00:24:35,300 somebody who's screaming, anyone who's a good natured person, 411 00:24:35,300 --> 00:24:38,780 just being in there bothers your hurts your body, to not be able 412 00:24:38,780 --> 00:24:41,380 to help the person, yeah, especially if you know it's 413 00:24:41,380 --> 00:24:41,740 real. 414 00:24:42,039 --> 00:24:45,099 Caitlin Van Mol: Yeah, do you think maybe because you knew you 415 00:24:45,219 --> 00:24:45,999 obviously lived? 416 00:24:46,539 --> 00:24:50,859 James: Yeah, I would think he would know too, because I'm 417 00:24:50,859 --> 00:24:53,739 like, you're talking to me, but, but I think he didn't understand 418 00:24:53,739 --> 00:24:57,939 that I went through it, and so I kind of knew, I knew it wasn't 419 00:24:57,939 --> 00:25:00,959 in pain when I was there. I knew it was. It's a very strange 420 00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:04,199 thing that your body can do like I try to put myself if it was my 421 00:25:04,199 --> 00:25:07,979 brother or my my mom or or something like that. How would 422 00:25:07,979 --> 00:25:12,419 my insides feel if I heard them in agony like that? So I know 423 00:25:12,419 --> 00:25:17,399 that when I'm screaming like that, I I'm more scared than I 424 00:25:17,399 --> 00:25:18,059 am hurt. 425 00:25:18,660 --> 00:25:21,200 Caitlin Van Mol: Did the driver of the truck stop. 426 00:25:21,860 --> 00:25:25,160 James: I believe he stopped. I don't know that for a fact. I 427 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:30,440 believe he stopped. I never met him. He was on his way. This is 428 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,800 just a story I remember hearing. He was on his way to work. He 429 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:37,940 didn't do anything wrong. I mean, it wasn't, I would never 430 00:25:37,940 --> 00:25:40,840 like blame him for, for what happened. It's just, it's just 431 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:44,200 unlucky. He's getting a situation where, you know if 432 00:25:44,620 --> 00:25:47,020 headlights are facing you, who knows if he may, might have 433 00:25:47,020 --> 00:25:49,540 pushed his brakes too fast or something like that and started 434 00:25:49,540 --> 00:25:52,300 spinning and, I mean, he couldn't hit me if he wanted to 435 00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:55,000 try. You just don't have that much control on the ice and 436 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,940 stuff like that. So I don't, I'll never blame him. Never had 437 00:25:57,940 --> 00:26:00,520 ill will against him or anything like that. Because it just like 438 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:01,800 I said, it's just an accident. 439 00:26:02,460 --> 00:26:04,260 Caitlin Van Mol: James eventually healed enough to be 440 00:26:04,260 --> 00:26:08,700 released from the hospital, and he was eager to get the rehab 441 00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:09,720 process going. 442 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,720 James: I've always been a real busy bee. I gotta move. I gotta 443 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,180 move. I gotta move. I gotta move. I gotta move. So then I 444 00:26:15,180 --> 00:26:17,700 finally was able to get to the point to where they would let me 445 00:26:17,940 --> 00:26:23,420 get out of the bed and get into my wheelchair by myself. And I 446 00:26:23,420 --> 00:26:27,980 would just, like wheel myself around the rehab center, pushing 447 00:26:27,980 --> 00:26:30,080 myself backwards with my left leg, because it 448 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:31,940 Caitlin Van Mol: was good. It's kind of say with your hands, 449 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,080 James: I couldn't do it. They would just sit on the side the 450 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,800 wheelchair, and I would just steer with my left leg. And they 451 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,320 had like, nicknames for me and all kinds of stuff like that, 452 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:44,200 because they just that, because I just thought I was the 453 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,900 craziest person that was like, I'm not going back to that tired 454 00:26:46,900 --> 00:26:50,740 of the bed. Yeah. Then when I got home, it was a little more 455 00:26:50,740 --> 00:26:56,380 difficult at home, just because you're in a smaller, little bit 456 00:26:56,560 --> 00:27:00,100 more confined space. It's not set up for 457 00:27:00,759 --> 00:27:03,479 Caitlin Van Mol: just zooming around in a wheelchair. 458 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:07,560 James: Yeah, there's certain amount of rehab time you can do 459 00:27:08,100 --> 00:27:11,280 where they'll be like, Hey, you get an hour today. And I was 460 00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:15,060 always like, I need four I need five hours. I need six hours. I 461 00:27:15,060 --> 00:27:18,060 said, Can I just do it by myself? You just tell me what I 462 00:27:18,060 --> 00:27:21,560 need to do, and you can leave, and I'll just, just don't take 463 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,900 me back to my room, because I can get myself back to my room, 464 00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:28,220 just all and so I would go do extra rehab in the rehab 465 00:27:28,220 --> 00:27:30,740 facility, just, and I don't remember what I was trying to 466 00:27:30,740 --> 00:27:33,080 do, stretching. I was probably making stuff up, just so I 467 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,320 didn't have to go back to the room. I wasn't there to I wasn't 468 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:39,440 there to mess around. They all really appreciated it. They were 469 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:43,840 always on my side, and trying to, you know, hey, we see you're 470 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:47,200 doing this. You know, you should try to do this because it's your 471 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:51,820 next step. There was a lady. Her name was Kim. She almost ended 472 00:27:51,820 --> 00:27:55,780 up being like my surrogate mom or older sister, or whatever you 473 00:27:55,780 --> 00:27:59,140 want to call her, but she was, she was phenomenal. She was she 474 00:27:59,140 --> 00:28:02,640 would talk me through it, and she taught me through the other 475 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:06,540 parts, the hard parts, the what are you gonna do next in life? 476 00:28:06,540 --> 00:28:10,380 Where's your you know, this is where you're at now. Where do 477 00:28:10,380 --> 00:28:15,240 you want to be? You've how hard you want to work. She was, she 478 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,700 was great for kind of all of that stuff. She wasn't just 479 00:28:17,700 --> 00:28:20,580 there to help me with my fingers and my wrists and my elbows. She 480 00:28:20,580 --> 00:28:23,780 was there to kind of see what my mental state was at the same 481 00:28:23,780 --> 00:28:26,360 time. And it was easy for her, and I think I'm pretty good 482 00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:29,060 communicator, and so I think it was just easy for her to see 483 00:28:29,060 --> 00:28:32,480 that it's good to push me, because when you when you think 484 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,240 you're pushing me, I'm going to push myself harder and get 485 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:36,320 better results out of it. 486 00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:38,840 Caitlin Van Mol: But it wasn't all work and no play. 487 00:28:39,620 --> 00:28:45,280 James: When I moved to Texas from Colorado in 1995 and I 488 00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:48,160 started going to the Texas Rangers. I've always been a big 489 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,160 baseball fan. I started going to the Rangers games, and opening 490 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:55,240 day is always a very big thing to go. And so I had been to 491 00:28:55,240 --> 00:29:00,360 everyone since I had been there, and I was like, I'm not breaking 492 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:04,920 the streak, I'm going. But this was like, two months after the 493 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,460 accident, and the doctor's like, you're not going, I'm like, I'm 494 00:29:08,460 --> 00:29:12,240 going, yeah, if I'm walking myself or something, then my 495 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,060 friends were like, We're gonna come bust him out of here if we 496 00:29:15,060 --> 00:29:17,520 need to. He's go. He wants to go the baseball game. We're taking 497 00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:19,980 him to the baseball game. And so they worked it out with the 498 00:29:19,980 --> 00:29:23,180 rehab center, like, they sent a like, a bus for me, or something 499 00:29:23,180 --> 00:29:25,340 like that, to come get me, and they took me out to the game for 500 00:29:25,340 --> 00:29:28,460 the day, which was either I had no business being there 501 00:29:28,460 --> 00:29:32,720 whatsoever. I was freezing, I was uncomfortable, like, you 502 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,180 know, I was miserable the entire time, but just the fact I 503 00:29:35,180 --> 00:29:39,020 actually got to get out of the facility was amazing, and got to 504 00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:42,280 be part of the day was amazing. And how much my friends even 505 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,040 fought for me. They were like, he wants to go, he's gonna go. 506 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:49,480 That was cool. So I had a great support system. My friends would 507 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,060 stay. A couple of my friends stayed overnight the whole time. 508 00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:55,000 They just talked to me. Or I was always a night person, because I 509 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,060 was in the restaurant industry. So going to bed at four o'clock 510 00:29:58,060 --> 00:30:01,260 or five o'clock in the morning, wasn't I? It wasn't new to me, 511 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:05,340 sure. So I'd stay up all night and there was nothing to do. So 512 00:30:05,340 --> 00:30:08,160 the friends, they just hang out with me and stuff like that, 513 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,860 which was pretty nice. I had a really good support system. 514 00:30:11,820 --> 00:30:14,160 Caitlin Van Mol: Even with this support system and 515 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:18,180 determination, James did struggle mentally with the 516 00:30:18,180 --> 00:30:21,860 aftermath of the accident. I mean, it sounds like you're 517 00:30:21,860 --> 00:30:26,180 super positive, and you did your rehab, and you did extra rehab. 518 00:30:27,020 --> 00:30:31,040 But were there any other any, like dark times, I would 519 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:37,040 James: probably say that I I started drinking more than I had 520 00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:42,940 drink in the past, and it was probably a bad mix of drinking 521 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,120 and because I was on painkillers, and I think it was 522 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:49,120 an avoidance. I don't know, try to be normal, but you're not 523 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:54,760 normal. I don't know how to categorize that. It was probably 524 00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:57,460 wasn't the best thing I should have been doing, but it was a 525 00:30:57,460 --> 00:31:01,140 way kind of to get to get through because the pain is 526 00:31:01,140 --> 00:31:06,120 intense, and it's just something you can't it's crazy that it 527 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:10,140 doesn't hurt when it happens, but it hurts afterwards and for 528 00:31:10,140 --> 00:31:13,740 a long period of time, and like it still hurts today. It's it's 529 00:31:13,740 --> 00:31:19,200 exhausting. It makes you really tired. So you kind of look for 530 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:23,060 where you can get to, to where it doesn't hurt, where you don't 531 00:31:23,060 --> 00:31:26,720 feel it all the times, and that might have been going to my own 532 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:30,680 little mental place, going and seeing my own counselor. 533 00:31:32,180 --> 00:31:37,520 Caitlin Van Mol: We'll be right back with the extent of his 534 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:43,000 injuries and a long rehab journey. James's dad moved back 535 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,860 to Texas to take care of him. 536 00:31:45,340 --> 00:31:48,700 James: My father moved down to Texas, and he lived with me in 537 00:31:48,700 --> 00:31:53,260 my house for, I believe it was two and a half years. Might have 538 00:31:53,260 --> 00:31:56,500 been three. Wow, helping me through rehab, doing stuff with 539 00:31:56,500 --> 00:31:59,620 his work and stuff like that. He unfortunately had had some he 540 00:31:59,620 --> 00:32:05,100 had had a DUI in in Denver that he didn't fulfill what he was 541 00:32:05,100 --> 00:32:07,800 supposed to fulfill. When he moved down to take care of me, 542 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,320 he thought it was more important to come take care of me. 543 00:32:10,860 --> 00:32:13,380 Caitlin Van Mol: Eventually, James's dad had to go back to 544 00:32:13,380 --> 00:32:18,540 Denver to settle his legal situation. But then years later, 545 00:32:18,900 --> 00:32:21,080 James: unfortunately, he ended up getting cancer. 546 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,620 Caitlin Van Mol: James worked it out with his boss at the time so 547 00:32:24,620 --> 00:32:26,480 that he could take care of his dad. 548 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,720 James: So I spent a lot of time up there with my father. Kind of 549 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:32,120 it was interesting because he helped me for so much in the 550 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,180 previous 10 years, and then I was kind of returning the favor, 551 00:32:35,180 --> 00:32:38,000 taking care of him and stuff like that. And unfortunately, he 552 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:41,480 passed away, but we got to spend a lot of time together. And it 553 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:44,740 was interesting because when my parents got divorced, when we 554 00:32:44,740 --> 00:32:49,900 were young, we grew apart tremendously. And so between my 555 00:32:49,900 --> 00:32:52,840 accent and his accident, that 10 years really brought us back 556 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:57,100 together, which was kind of a cool yeah, Silver Lining thing, 557 00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:57,880 yeah, 558 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,380 Caitlin Van Mol: James was working hard to get a strength 559 00:33:01,380 --> 00:33:05,940 and mobility back. But there was a problem that wasn't going to 560 00:33:05,940 --> 00:33:07,260 be fixed with rehab. 561 00:33:07,559 --> 00:33:13,019 James: There was a young man who was at JPS hospital who was a 562 00:33:13,019 --> 00:33:19,439 student in the EMT department, and when my jaw broke, I didn't 563 00:33:19,439 --> 00:33:23,359 have my front five teeth, about my jaw ripped out and all that 564 00:33:23,359 --> 00:33:26,959 stuff and but he was like, I'm gonna make it my job to to get 565 00:33:26,959 --> 00:33:29,359 that all fixed for you. I'm gonna get you some teeth. I'm 566 00:33:29,359 --> 00:33:33,319 gonna get you, you know, some implants and repair your jaw and 567 00:33:33,439 --> 00:33:36,859 do that kind of stuff. And who knows how much that cost to get 568 00:33:36,859 --> 00:33:42,339 all this, this stuff done. So he but he started doing it helped 569 00:33:42,339 --> 00:33:46,479 out, like the surge of part, and they removed bone from my hip to 570 00:33:46,599 --> 00:33:49,719 build me a new jaw. And I appreciate that, because who 571 00:33:49,719 --> 00:33:53,439 knows if you start from so far behind, you don't have teeth and 572 00:33:53,439 --> 00:33:56,679 your fingers don't work and your hands don't work, and I just 573 00:33:56,679 --> 00:33:59,559 can't imagine how much harder it would depend to get a job. And 574 00:34:00,039 --> 00:34:03,779 the advantages they gave to my disadvantages was is huge, 575 00:34:04,559 --> 00:34:07,679 Caitlin Van Mol: especially because James was in no position 576 00:34:07,679 --> 00:34:09,959 to work for a long time. 577 00:34:10,619 --> 00:34:15,179 James: I qualified for disability after like, a year, 578 00:34:15,179 --> 00:34:19,259 which is crazy, but then they they paid me, kind of, they kind 579 00:34:19,319 --> 00:34:22,939 of paid me to get better, which I appreciate to know him, but 580 00:34:23,419 --> 00:34:26,179 the money you get is just nothing. There's no I was 581 00:34:26,179 --> 00:34:30,199 getting, like, I think 720 to $5 a month or something like that. 582 00:34:30,199 --> 00:34:35,059 I was like, I can't I just can't live on this I can't do anything 583 00:34:35,059 --> 00:34:37,819 with this money. I couldn't pay my bills. I couldn't do anything 584 00:34:37,819 --> 00:34:43,719 with it. So my friends would have an annual golf tournament 585 00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:47,559 for me to help get a little bit more money, just to help me pay, 586 00:34:47,559 --> 00:34:51,339 you know, whether it was going to rehab, or it's $15 a time, or 587 00:34:51,339 --> 00:34:55,959 something like this, at $700 goes quick when you're paying 588 00:34:55,959 --> 00:34:58,959 10, $15 every time you go anywhere, you still got to eat. 589 00:34:59,019 --> 00:35:02,279 I had to have a seven. Phone. There's just things you just 590 00:35:02,279 --> 00:35:06,719 have to have, and they just cost money. So they would have a golf 591 00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:08,219 tournament for me. 592 00:35:08,219 --> 00:35:10,679 Caitlin Van Mol: The Golf Tournament ran for three years. 593 00:35:11,219 --> 00:35:14,279 James had also made some good connections while working at 594 00:35:14,279 --> 00:35:18,239 Bennigan's, and one of the old executives there was branching 595 00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:20,719 out and starting his own restaurant, 596 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:23,240 James: and he knew I wasn't working, he asked if I would 597 00:35:23,240 --> 00:35:26,540 come consult for him for like, six months. So it gave me a 598 00:35:26,540 --> 00:35:29,360 chance to make some money. Like, at this point in time, I didn't 599 00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:32,900 have any teeth in the front of my mouth. My I was super skinny, 600 00:35:32,900 --> 00:35:36,320 my hands were really contracted, and I really appreciate the guy 601 00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:40,660 for for bringing me out there and treating me like a really, 602 00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:44,020 it's like a normal person like he, he saw me as the person 603 00:35:44,020 --> 00:35:46,600 before, not the person that I was standing in front of him. 604 00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:50,080 Yeah, and I really respect him for for that. So I worked for 605 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:53,260 him for six months, and we opened a restaurant together. 606 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:57,940 And then one of the guys who originally did the one of the 607 00:35:57,940 --> 00:36:02,340 newspaper stories on me did a, like, a, where, what, where is 608 00:36:02,580 --> 00:36:04,020 this person now story, 609 00:36:04,199 --> 00:36:06,299 Caitlin Van Mol: this is the same guy who listened to the 911 610 00:36:06,659 --> 00:36:07,619 call with James 611 00:36:07,860 --> 00:36:10,800 James: and gentleman that was that's in Fort Worth that does a 612 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:14,220 lot of charity stuff. Saw the story in the paper and got in 613 00:36:14,220 --> 00:36:17,520 touch with the people who were doing the golf tournament. And 614 00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:21,080 he donated, he donated some money to really help. And he 615 00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:24,320 also said, when you're looking for work, come talk to me. It 616 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:29,360 was maybe eight months later, after that, I went to meet him. 617 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,380 His sister, I don't want to say, took me on as a project or 618 00:36:33,380 --> 00:36:36,680 something like that, but she she, she really wanted to help 619 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,860 me, yeah. And so she was like, Maybe you should go back to 620 00:36:39,860 --> 00:36:45,160 school. Will pay for you to go to school, which I appreciated a 621 00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:50,200 ton, but that didn't help me pay my bills. And I was like, I 622 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:53,740 just, I can't live on $700 I mean, even if you pay for my 623 00:36:53,740 --> 00:36:58,600 school, I just, I can't do it. And then I also, most school 624 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:02,400 work is done on a computer, and this all sounds like excuses and 625 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:04,380 stuff like that, but my fingers don't work. 626 00:37:05,219 --> 00:37:08,219 Caitlin Van Mol: James's hands were in a loose fist most of his 627 00:37:08,219 --> 00:37:11,819 time in the hospital, and sitting in that position for so 628 00:37:11,819 --> 00:37:15,839 long caused contractures, which are the tightening of muscles or 629 00:37:15,839 --> 00:37:19,199 tendons to the point where stretching out his hand fully 630 00:37:19,259 --> 00:37:23,599 wasn't possible, so he doesn't have the dexterity to type for 631 00:37:23,599 --> 00:37:25,579 school or work. There was 632 00:37:25,580 --> 00:37:27,980 James: a great doctor there that tried to fix the contractures. 633 00:37:27,980 --> 00:37:32,540 Where they go in and they take the I guess it's the ligaments 634 00:37:32,540 --> 00:37:37,640 that contract. So they try to stretch the ligaments out. And 635 00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:40,100 they did a couple of surgeries where they stretched them out, 636 00:37:40,340 --> 00:37:43,660 and then they sell them above your knuckles. It's interesting 637 00:37:43,660 --> 00:37:46,300 to see kind of how the ligaments go around your knuckle, over the 638 00:37:46,300 --> 00:37:49,840 top and then come underneath, and that's how you get the kind 639 00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:53,800 of that motion. But every time they did the surgery, the 640 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:58,180 ligaments kept ripping, and so they would go back to how they 641 00:37:58,180 --> 00:38:01,300 were, and then they tried it again, and then it ripped again. 642 00:38:01,300 --> 00:38:04,560 So they finally, I was like, just forget it. I'm I'm tired of 643 00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:05,880 being surgery boy and 644 00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:09,000 Caitlin Van Mol: so school wasn't going to be a good option 645 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:09,720 for James. 646 00:38:10,199 --> 00:38:12,719 James: Let's see if we can get you back in that line of work. 647 00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:14,399 So he introduced me to some people. 648 00:38:14,940 --> 00:38:18,540 Caitlin Van Mol: James met a man who happened to be opening a new 649 00:38:18,540 --> 00:38:19,260 restaurant, 650 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,700 James: and I ended up going and running that restaurant for him 651 00:38:22,700 --> 00:38:28,400 for 10 years. Oh, so that was kind of the first step I made 652 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:32,180 out of that ended up being a 10 Year A 10 year deal, which was 653 00:38:32,180 --> 00:38:32,900 pretty good 654 00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:36,980 Caitlin Van Mol: after being in that job for 10 years. James 655 00:38:36,980 --> 00:38:41,320 wanted to find a job where he could grow and ended up as an 656 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:46,540 operations manager at FedEx, but that ended up being too labor 657 00:38:46,540 --> 00:38:48,100 intensive for his body, 658 00:38:49,179 --> 00:38:52,899 James: but I kind of got strained with peak season that 659 00:38:52,899 --> 00:38:55,659 goes from the second week of November to the first week of 660 00:38:55,659 --> 00:39:00,539 January, and you don't like you don't get any time off. You work 661 00:39:00,539 --> 00:39:04,379 six days a week. You work 10 to 12 hours a day. It's very 662 00:39:04,379 --> 00:39:08,519 difficult on my body. Like just, I'll have what I call shutdown 663 00:39:08,519 --> 00:39:11,939 days, where, if I'm just too active, Thursday, Friday, 664 00:39:11,939 --> 00:39:15,239 Saturday, Sunday, comes along and I might be out of bed for 665 00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:19,139 two hours. I mean, it's just, it just happens. It's just like my 666 00:39:19,139 --> 00:39:23,479 body just doesn't want to. I can't, I can't open a bottle of 667 00:39:23,479 --> 00:39:26,359 water. I can't, my hands don't work. I'm I'll be brushing my 668 00:39:26,359 --> 00:39:28,459 teeth, and I'll drop my toothbrush out of my hand like, 669 00:39:28,459 --> 00:39:31,339 four times, just because I can't hold on to it makes it makes no 670 00:39:31,339 --> 00:39:34,099 sense to me, but it just every once in all my body is just 671 00:39:34,099 --> 00:39:37,219 like, gives me the middle finger. Says, Nope, I'm not 672 00:39:37,219 --> 00:39:37,939 working today, 673 00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:41,860 Caitlin Van Mol: and James is still getting the middle finger 674 00:39:41,860 --> 00:39:46,240 from his body. He had to have heart valve surgery in early 675 00:39:46,240 --> 00:39:46,600 2025 676 00:39:47,500 --> 00:39:51,040 James: there was complications in the surgery where I ended up 677 00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:55,840 internally bleeding, and then for like, a couple of weeks, I 678 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:59,380 couldn't breathe. I kept calling the the doctor and being like, 679 00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,700 I. I can't breathe. They take me in there, and they put me on, 680 00:40:02,700 --> 00:40:06,960 like, a steroids and some other stuff, because they thought I 681 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:09,300 had just some kind of little bit of a, I don't know what they 682 00:40:09,300 --> 00:40:10,440 thought I had inflammation or 683 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:12,960 Unknown: something like that. I was like, Guys, I'm telling you, 684 00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:13,680 I can't breathe. 685 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,440 James: And so they kept giving me steroids, kept giving me 686 00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:18,480 steroids, kept moving me steroids. I guess you're not 687 00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,860 supposed to be on steroids for a long time anyways. And like, we 688 00:40:21,860 --> 00:40:23,900 can't give you these anymore. I'm like, Lily, you got to 689 00:40:23,900 --> 00:40:26,660 figure something out. And I said, I'm not lying to you guys. 690 00:40:26,660 --> 00:40:27,920 I cannot breathe 691 00:40:28,639 --> 00:40:31,579 Caitlin Van Mol: after several tests and several doctors. 692 00:40:31,820 --> 00:40:35,240 James: So then they sent me to a lung doctor. And the lung doctor 693 00:40:35,240 --> 00:40:39,860 is like, you have so much coagulated blood along the whole 694 00:40:39,860 --> 00:40:43,180 right side of your chest that your lung can't expand. 695 00:40:43,540 --> 00:40:45,820 Unknown: And I'm like, I've been telling people I can't breathe. 696 00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:49,840 How did they not see that? I don't I don't understand it 697 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,780 James: at home. I don't know. Because he's like, you can see 698 00:40:52,780 --> 00:40:55,060 it. And he's like, showing me. He's like, it's right here. You 699 00:40:55,060 --> 00:40:57,580 can see it clear your day. And I'm like, You got to be kidding 700 00:40:57,580 --> 00:40:59,680 me. I'm like, so what do I have to do? He's like, we have to go 701 00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,820 in there and do something. So they go in there and it's it's 702 00:41:02,820 --> 00:41:05,220 actually in the inside of your cavity. So it's not in your 703 00:41:05,220 --> 00:41:07,740 bloodstream or anything like that. It's just in an open spot. 704 00:41:07,740 --> 00:41:11,160 But since it had been there so long and the blood had started 705 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:16,020 to harden, my lungs rubbing on it started to form scar tissue. 706 00:41:17,700 --> 00:41:21,800 So what they do is they go in and they peel off layers of your 707 00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:26,180 lung to get below the scar tissue so that it can learn to 708 00:41:26,180 --> 00:41:30,560 expand again. I'm like, awesome. So I had the surgery on a 709 00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:34,640 Monday. I went home on a Wednesday or Thursday, and then 710 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:37,580 Friday, my back started hurting real bad, like my lower back. 711 00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:42,100 And then Saturday, it was way worse. And I'm like, Man, I just 712 00:41:42,100 --> 00:41:47,320 can't really stand up or sit down, or it's like, almost on 713 00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:49,540 top of my butt. And I'm like, I'm not sure what's going on. 714 00:41:49,540 --> 00:41:53,260 Then Sunday, I couldn't stand up anymore, and I started, like, 715 00:41:53,260 --> 00:41:57,160 crawling around on the floor. So I made it to Monday, and I just 716 00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,200 couldn't move at all. And I was like, I need to go to the 717 00:41:59,380 --> 00:42:02,880 emergency room. So I went to the emergency room, and they did a 718 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:06,720 CT scan, and I had a bunch of blood clots in my vena cava 719 00:42:07,860 --> 00:42:13,020 arteries, which are in your like lower abdomen. But during my 720 00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:17,040 original accident, they put something in in my veins called 721 00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:22,760 an IVC filter, which helps keep blood clots from getting to your 722 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,820 body, because you, I guess you form a lot of blood clots when 723 00:42:25,820 --> 00:42:28,220 you have big accidents like that, yeah, well, I guess 724 00:42:28,220 --> 00:42:31,640 they're supposed to take those out. Oh, and they never did. 725 00:42:31,820 --> 00:42:35,600 Like, it looks like an octopus, but it's all made out of metal, 726 00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:40,100 and it just sits in your vein, and the metal hooks to your 727 00:42:40,100 --> 00:42:44,200 skin, like the opposite way, so it's keeps it locked in place. 728 00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:46,840 There was getting to be so many blood clots that it was pulling 729 00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:51,160 it along, like scratch marks and stuff like that. But then the 730 00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,920 blood couldn't get through, and so I had such bad swelling 731 00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:57,280 around my spine. That's why I couldn't walk. But it was 732 00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:59,620 because of the I don't know if it was a good thing or a bad 733 00:42:59,620 --> 00:43:02,080 thing. It was in there because I shouldn't have so many blood 734 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,560 clots to start with. Blood clots to start with. And the guy's 735 00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:06,960 like, the guy, I ended going in for emergency surgery, he took 736 00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:09,060 it out, and he's like, I've never seen blood clots. He's 737 00:43:09,060 --> 00:43:11,640 big, this big. He shows me, like, the pictures of I'm like, 738 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:14,820 it's disgusting. I still can't breathe, like I did before, but 739 00:43:15,300 --> 00:43:17,220 it's better than what it was. 740 00:43:17,580 --> 00:43:19,440 Caitlin Van Mol: James is currently looking for work 741 00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:23,840 again, sort of back to where he started after the accident. 742 00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:26,840 James: Currently, I'm looking for a job, trying to figure out 743 00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:31,040 I got I think I'm in the good enough space where I feel 744 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,280 comfortable getting that out again. And it's been difficult 745 00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:36,920 trying to find a job, because I don't know what I can do now, 746 00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:40,840 because my body is just slowing down as I get older, I can't do 747 00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:44,740 the physical job as much as as I want to do. I really wish I 748 00:43:44,740 --> 00:43:48,340 would have rethought the schooling thing 20 years ago 749 00:43:48,340 --> 00:43:50,260 when they offered me the schooling thing that I just 750 00:43:50,260 --> 00:43:53,320 don't know how it would have worked out, but every job is 751 00:43:53,380 --> 00:43:58,120 kind of a sit behind a desk job, and I just, I just can't sit 752 00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:00,960 behind a desk. Yeah, it's not it's not good for me, 753 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:05,940 physically, it's not good for me, and I just can't perform 754 00:44:05,940 --> 00:44:09,060 like I want to perform for somebody who employs me. 755 00:44:09,420 --> 00:44:13,980 Caitlin Van Mol: How do you stay so positive, given all this shit 756 00:44:13,980 --> 00:44:15,420 that's been thrown at you? 757 00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:18,660 James: My opinion is I just don't think there's a different 758 00:44:18,660 --> 00:44:21,920 way to get to it and still be saying, when I was at the rehab 759 00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:25,700 center, there was a gentleman who had come in who had been 760 00:44:25,700 --> 00:44:29,600 shot in his back, and he was paralyzed from his waist down, 761 00:44:30,380 --> 00:44:33,920 and he would go into his rehab because they made him go to 762 00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:36,920 rehab, and he would lay on this big, giant bed, and he wouldn't 763 00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:39,380 do anything, and they would try to work with him, like, Hey, 764 00:44:39,380 --> 00:44:42,160 come on. You know, you just got to stay positive. And he's like, 765 00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,800 I must. I'm not living in that chair my whole life. And he was 766 00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:48,220 just really negative. And they do their best they could to to, 767 00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:51,400 you know, kind of prop them up and, like, I went over there and 768 00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,800 talked to him a couple times, and just kind of like, man, 769 00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:55,780 we'll figure this out. He's like, Look at me. I'm like, 770 00:44:55,780 --> 00:44:59,620 nothing on me works. So we'll figure this out together and and 771 00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:01,920 get. Better and stuff like that, and then, like, three days 772 00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:06,780 later, he's dead. And I was like, what happened? Like, he 773 00:45:06,780 --> 00:45:11,460 seemed fine, and they kind of just and who knows, with the 774 00:45:11,460 --> 00:45:14,220 myth or whatever, but they just said, you know, if you just lose 775 00:45:14,220 --> 00:45:18,060 all will to live, you're just gonna die. I said, some people 776 00:45:18,060 --> 00:45:21,380 just give up. And it's weird. It's like they just give up on 777 00:45:21,380 --> 00:45:24,800 everything, and the body just quits. I mean, that doesn't make 778 00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:28,460 any sense. They said it happens more than you think. If you 779 00:45:28,460 --> 00:45:31,640 don't want to live and you don't want to just keep going, your 780 00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,880 body will just quit on you. Yeah, and so that really stuck 781 00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:38,600 with me. And I was like, I'm not gonna I'm just not gonna stop. I 782 00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:41,060 just don't think there's a different way. I just don't 783 00:45:41,060 --> 00:45:43,540 think there's another way to do it. And I you, and I there 784 00:45:43,540 --> 00:45:46,000 probably is, but I'm going to stick with my way, because right 785 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:46,600 now, it's working. 786 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:55,120 Caitlin Van Mol: This is live to tell. I'm Caitlin van mol. You 787 00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:59,260 can follow the show on Instagram and Tiktok at live to tell 788 00:45:59,260 --> 00:46:04,500 podcast if you enjoy today's episode, please rate review and 789 00:46:04,500 --> 00:46:09,600 subscribe. It really helps the show. I'll see you in two weeks, 790 00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:09,900 foreign.